Everything Was Goodbye

by Gurjinder Basran

The youngest of six daughters raised by a widowed mother, Meena is a young woman struggling to find her place in the world. Originally from India, her family still holds on to many old-world customs and traditions that seem stifling to a young North American woman. She knows that the freedom experienced by others is beyond her reach. But unlike her older sisters, Meena refuses to accept a life dictated by tradition. Against her mother’s wishes, she falls for a young man named Liam who asks her to run away with him. Meena must then make a painful choice—one that will lead to stunning and irrevocable consequences.

Heartbreaking and beautiful, Everything Was Good-bye is an unforgettable story about family, love, and loss, and the struggle to live in two different cultural worlds.

Genres: Fiction, Canada, India, Contemporary, Book Club, Literary Fiction, Adult

272 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

Gurjinder Basran’s debut novel, Everything Was Good-bye, was the winner of Mother Tongue Publishing's “Search for the Great BC Novel Contest” in 2010 and was awarded the 2011 Ethel Wilson Fiction Prize. Gurjinder lives in British Columbia, Canada with her family.

Reviews

[Raquel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this in galley form so maybe it was heavily edited between then and official publication (although a galley is supposed to accurately reflect the content), but this book just felt flat to me. Characters, situations, emotional reactions--none seemed lifelike enough. It felt a little bit like a world of paper dolls.

Parts of the book felt choppy and rushed. A major character is not introduced until part 2 of the book, even though he was supposedly a friend of the narrator's since childhood and an important part of her life. Big things happen, like the narrator's estranged sister seeing their mother again for the first time in 15 years, and no reaction is given. Periods of time pass with barely a mention. And although Meena is portrayed as wanting to follow her own paths and passions, she seems surprisingly willing to go along with her mother's plan to arrange her marriage to a real asshole and even change her name with barely any protest or even reaction. She talks about her sister surviving an abusive marriage while glossing over the punches her own husband lands on her.

Just a disappointing and unsatisfying read.

[Hailey Kendall · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a bit slow, but the story was easy to read and follow along. I found Meena’s story quite sad, and wanted her to have some kind of happy ending.

However, her character was quite often having to go with the worst option even when she had choices. I felt the choice to leave with her high school love not realistic, but I couldn’t quite wrap my head around marrying someone you did not want to. I had to do a lot of self recognition while reading to not judge or jump to conclusions which was hard as I’ve never had to make the decisions she did. It just seemed as though we just kept getting more bad news.

The affair with Liam was hard because I sympathized with her and her situation but found myself disappointed with her. Like you finally got your love, but then couldn’t make the choice! Then it was too late when she finally did.

All in all, I read this book quickly I kept reading with hope something good would happen. I found the ending abrupt with Liam dying and then never finding out what happened to Sunny. I was left just wanting more information.

[Louise · Rating 5 out of 5]

Penguin Group Canada|March 6, 2012|Trade Paperback|ISBN: 978-0-14-318257-3

Story Description:

The youngest of six daughters raised by a widowed mother, Meena is a young Indo-Canadian woman struggling to find her place in the world. She knows that the freedom experienced by others is beyond her reach. But unlike her older sisters, Meena refuses to accept a life dictated by tradition. Against her mother’s wishes, she falls for a young man named Liam who asks her to run away with him. She must then make a painful choice – one that will lead to stunning and irrevocable consequences.

Heartbreaking and beautiful, Everything Was Good-Bye is an unforgettable story about family, love, loss, and the struggle of living in two different cultural worlds.

My Review:

I loved the fact that this book was set in lower mainland British Columbia, Canada. It’s always great to see novels set in Canadian cities.

Meena is a seventeen-year-old Indo-Canadian and the youngest daughter of six who is struggling to find her place in the world. She tries hard to adhere to the traditional values of her family but at the same time wants the freedom that other Canadian girls have. Her mother is widowed and raising the girls on her own and doesn’t want to disappoint her but faces some very difficult choices in her life that eventually lead to catastrophic consequences for everyone involved.

Meena’s mother has a heavy burden as the only parent raising six daughters and trying to ensure that each daughter is successfully placed in acceptable arranged marriages. Meena, of course, is included in this plan but it is not what she wants. Meena deeply desires to have the freedom to choose her own husband but suffers inner turmoil in trying to be true to her mother and her rules, yet have the freedom to choose for herself and refuses to totally accept this role that is expected of her.

At school she doesn’t fit in, doesn’t have any friends and is often mocked until she meets, Liam. Liam is totally different from anyone she’s met before as he appears to accept her for who she is. Her mother absolutely forbids her from seeing Liam or even to be seen walking with him as she fears it will perpetuate rumours in their close-knit Punjabi community, but Meena, wanting her freedom and to make her own choices, disobeys her mother’s warnings. Liam wants to run away to Toronto and asks Meena to go with him but she is torn between her family’s traditions and rules and her desire to be and choose for herself. She waits too long to make up her mind and when she decides to go, Liam has disappeared.

Eventually Meena marries, Sunny, a successful lawyer and the son of a prominent Indo-Canadian family but neither of them really loves the other and only marry to keep their parents happy and to keep with the tradition. Feeling trapped in a marriage she doesn’t want to be in, Meena concentrates on her career until she is invited to an art showing and runs into Liam whom she hasn’t seen in years. Now she must decide whether to stay true to her marriage and the expectations of her family, or follow her heart and do what she feels deeply within herself.

I’d love to tell you what Meena decides and what follows but it would spoil the entire book and I’m not going to do that. I will say, however, that my heart bled for Meena throughout the entire book and I absolutely despised Sunny but adored Liam who had always, always accepted Meena for who and what she was with no strings attached.

The book had a superbly startling ending which I didn’t see coming at all and left me literally in tears, sobbing as I continued to read and tears dripping on the pages. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since, it feels so real to me although the book is a work of fiction, I had come to befriend, from my side of the book, Meena and her troubled life. Gurjinder Basran has done an exceptional job at writing Everything Was Good-Bye and that title has more meaning to me now that I’ve completed the book. It was the perfect choice for a title for this particular story.

There is an interview with Gurjinder Basran at the end of the book as well as some discussion questions that will have you really thinking about and peeling away the layers of the story which gives you an added experience to tale. I not only highly recommend this book but look forward, with anticipation, to further work by this author. For a debut novel, it was a phenomenal piece of work and was short-listed for Amazon.com’s 2008 Breakthrough Novel Award.

[Heather K (dentist in my spare time) · Rating 3 out of 5]

First off, I won this book on Goodreads First Reads.

On the back cover of this book, the novel is described as "heartwrenching." That is certainly the case. This novel is like bitter, expensive chocolate. It is rich, decadent, but not 100% enjoyable. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't put this book down. The writing is the best I've read in a while and I'm always fascinated by books that explore cultural divides. However, this book is a bumpy ride and the lives of the main characters are filled with sadness and misfortune. I kept yearning for Meena to find happiness but that was too seldom the case.

The ending of the book (no spoilers) really threw me. It isn't my style but I begrudgingly accept where the author went with the plot.

Overall, this book was a standout first novel, really well written.

[Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started out promising, but disappointed in the ensuing melodrama.

[Pinky]

A true reflection of what used to happen in the Indo Canadian culture, even upto about 10 years and I am sure in some families this still occurs sadly

[Leslie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had trouble falling asleep after finishing this book last night. I read most of it this weekend because I couldn't leave it. I immediately felt attached to young Meena and even Liam and Meena's mother in her sorrow and perseverance. I saw my own hopefulness in Meena, yet hopelessness. I rooted for her the whole book, rejoicing in her victories.

The narrative flows perfectly never saying too much and always just enough. It is heartbreaking - to experience, to finish, to not be reading anymore. I will be watching for Basran's name more.

It was lovely, and you don't have to be Indian or Canadian to love it. I am neither. I love Jhumpa Lahiri and Indian culture, so I just clicked to request it on Library Thing's Early Reviewers. I received an ARC, but noticed only one typo. I read through tears about half the time though, so I could be mistaken.

Without spoiling anything, a few gems:

"There is no life but the one at hand." (p.126)

"life [is] about depth. 'The greater your happiness, the deeper your sorrow.' I asked her if it worked the other way - if my sorrow was deep, would my happiness be great? As we stood in each other's reflection, looking forward and back, she narrowed her eyes to a squinted stare. For a moment I thought she saw me, and I knew she did when she answered 'Your disappointments dwell with your dreams.'" (p.134)

"Your disappointments dwell with your dreams." (p.134)

[Ruth Linka · Rating 2 out of 5]

The reviews are not wrong, this is a good book in some ways and certainly had the potential to be great. But I also think it is being reviewed based on what it could have been. I think readers all want to love this woman, and to get inside her story and understand her background and her life. I SO wanted to love this book, but I was disappointed. Part of the reason this is such a popular book is that we have the last generation's stories of coming to Canada and home, but what we need and want are the stories of the next generation who grew up the children of immigrants and were caught between the two worlds. This starts out to be that book but lets us down by never getting beyond a shallow look at what is a complex and varied experience. Meena understandably has mixed feelings about her heritage, her family and her mother, but the reader is not let into her head to understand this more. Neither do we gain an understanding of her motivations and at times surprising actions. We never feel connected to her.

I wanted this book to do more than scratch the surface, and to do more than take us along on what seems to be an inevitable journey. The secondary characters are flat. And the story seems to be that no one in the Sihk community in Vancouver can find love or happiness. There is no kindness between the characters and in the end the book seems like a vengeful memoir-based story that takes the reader hurtling through the unavoidable and unsatisfying events Meena's life.

[Alana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was SO good. Firstly, I would like to mention that, in compliance with FTC guidelines, I disclose that I received the book for free through Goodreads First Reads!

Now where to start? The reason I wanted to read this book so bad wasnt because it was listed as a giveaway. I am from Vancouver Island and born in Surrey BC. Meena, our MC lived in North Delta which is close. It's rare that I get to read a coming-of-age fiction novel from Canada, let alone pretty much right next door. The fact that I thought it was awesome just made this the best book I've read in 2012.

This book is definitely a love story. Not in the way I imagine most people would think of a fictional love story though. No, this book was defnintely sad. It broke me heart in places and it was so vivid to me that I felt like I was really experiencing who Meena was. It was hard to remember that this book was ficticious even because it seemed so real to me. It had too many unexpected twists and turns to make it not seem like ficiton, but the way Basran wrote Meena'story and told us how she felt made me ache it felt so real.



I really hope to see more of Basran in the future. It's been so long since I sat down and finished a book in two days. Had I more time, it would have only been one.

[Madeline Dahlman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was so pleasantly surprised by this book. I wasn't sure what to expect and I've been given so many similar books to review lately that I really wasn't looking forward to reading this...but now I want to pass it on to almost everyone I know...

The book focuses on Meena, a typical Canadian teenager growing up within a very traditional Indian family and community. As one of 6 sisters, there is a very strong interest in finding her an acceptable arranged marriage and embracing community values. This includes being discouraged to have friends outside the community. Meena struggles with these ideals and finds herself drawn into a friendship with a white boy named Liam. Liam's family is broken and they are able to relate to the breakdown in family communication and rifts between generations.

Throughout the story, Meena ages and fights to find her own way in the world without causing irreparable damage within her family. Some avoided, some not.

I found myself absolutely sucked into Meena and the difficult choices facing her..This books was incredibly well written and I often repeated passages to myself just to try and hold on to their beauty...

This was such an unexpected treat...even with the heartbreak, it's so well worth it..

[maria · Rating 1 out of 5]

I first picked this book off the shelves excited to read a book about another Indian girl like me. From the start I could see she was very out of touch with her culture. Sure there are negatives in our culture, and many of the points she made were valid. But what I can not understand is how she could see absolutely no positives at all. And as the story progressed she just kept getting worse. As a character I really did not like her. I never saw any development on her part. The book was disappointing for what I thought it would be. One thing I liked would be Meena and Kal getting together at the end.

Apart from what I said before, the book did seem a little rushed and skipped over some major parts. What about Sunnys parents reaction to her pregnancy? What about her mom and Harjs reunion after they hadn't seen each other for 15 years. All in all, its a book I regret purchasing.

[Jenee Rager · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book. I think it did a great job of explaining Indian culture and traditions. In today's age I know a lot of people who like Meena are torn between following their heart and following their families customs. My only compliant is that if you read this book and didn't know anything else about Indian culture you would think that all Indian men beat their wives and that it is accepted. In my experience this isn't the case, and while I understood how it played into plot, it still bothered me. The rest of the book I loved.

[Linda Lpp · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick read. Dealt with family estrangement; Young people challenged by traditional Indian expectations regarding dating, education desires, leaving home, arranged marriages, abusive situations...and so much more.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an excellent first novel. This book really speaks about racisim and sterotypes. It helps to understand what ignorance still exists even today.

[Winnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very easy to read and the storyline was something I could relate to, being I grew up with alot of that culture. It's a great read!

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful story. The characters were really easy to relate too. Sometimes the cultural references would be a bit confusing, but it was still an enjoyable read.

[★ · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really broke my heart :(

[EditorialEyes · Rating 3 out of 5]

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For this review and others, visit the EditorialEyes Blog.
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3.5 out of 5

I first heard about Everything Was Good-bye through an invitation to join Penguin Canada and the Chatelaine Book Club for an evening with author Gurjinder Basran. Having a chance to hang out in the Penguin offices, sipping wine, chatting with other bloggers, and listening to Gurjinder read from the book and then answer questions was a not-to-be-missed experience, and I suggest you read the great recaps on Nicole About Town’s and Just a Lil Lost’s blogs.

I’ve since read Everything was Good-bye, and my reading was informed by Basran’s discussion of how she came to write the book and her own life experiences—almost like reading the book club guide and then reading the novel. Set in the 1990s, Everything Was Good-bye is the story of Meena, a first-generation Punjabi-Canadian struggling to find her place within her family, her cultural community, and Canadian society in general. While it grew out of a journalling project and was inspired by Basran’s life in many ways, the book is a work of fiction (one that was an Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award finalist and that won Mother Tongue Publishing's Search for the Great BC Novel Contest).

As a teenager and the youngest of six daughters, Meena’s life is overshadowed by the choices her older sisters have made. She’s something of an outcast, more interested in wearing jeans than salwar suits, in lining up to get a Simple Minds record autographed than going to yet another friend of a friend’s wedding party. And yet she’s also an outsider at school because she looks "different" and adheres to a different set of family and social customs. It angers her family that she spends time with Liam, a white boy and outsider in his own right, an artistic kid from a difficult home who feels just as lost as Meena does.

Spanning the time from Meena’s broken but beautiful romance with Liam in her late teens to her heartbreaking marriage in her thirties, the book offers gracefully drawn sketches of Meena’s life, moments of tragedy and sadness that are inescapable because of her upbringing.Rather than a long, cohesive narrative, we see the major points in Meena’s life when choices have to be made, choices that will affect her future and her family. The book raises questions about who we are, if not an aggregate of our past experiences and our upbringing. Can Meena escape familial expectations? Should she? We see her falling for Liam and their subsequent separation after high school. We see the way she and her family are haunted by the loss of her sister Harj, who ran away after falling prey to a terrible crime and afterward being blamed and abandoned by their mother.

From high school, the narrative jumps to Meena’s first job, fresh out of university. She is still an outsider, a young woman whose co-workers can’t understand why she won’t come out for a drink after work. She acquiesces to an arranged marriage with Sunny, a player with feelings for an ex-girlfriend who was not deemed appropriate by his family. Fast-forward once again to part three, when the unhappily married Meena is going through the motions of a life you can’t help but think her younger self would disapprove of. Playing the role of the submissive wife, being railroaded by her pushy mother-in-law, having to apologize at every turn for not bearing Sunny children (in spite of the fact that it’s Sunny’s sperm count that is the source of the fertility issues), Meena runs into Liam once more, and once again major life choices are on the table. What is most important: happiness or duty? Personal freedom or family?

As the title suggests, this is a book about leave-takings and absences, about enduring sadness and living life without the people or experiences you long for most. Meena aches for her sister Harj and yet refuses to buck family expectation to look for her; she desperately wishes she could be with Liam and yet can’t make the leap to go find him after he first disappears. Her mother spends most Sundays being comforted by friends and family over the death of her husband a decade and more after he died. This is frustrating but also terribly understandable and true to life.

And Meena becomes lost to herself, too. When she agrees to the arranged marriage, she must change her name to Surinder because Sunny’s family astrologer says that the match will be a poor one if she keeps her own name. This is an adroit analogy for Meena’s whole life. She is constantly trying to live up to the person her family expects her to be, but she is not that person. Much of what she does and thinks is a lie. Even when Liam returns and Meena might at last find happiness, she is kept, or keeps herself, from it because of these restrictions placed upon her by herself and her family.

Basran’s characterization is on the whole superb. Meena is a difficult character to love. I was on her side, wishing only the best for her, but she is also stubborn and judgemental. She has difficulty seeing how much her mom has sacrificed for the family, but she also doesn’t have enough of a spine to stand up to her. Meena will sneak into the city, or sleep with Liam, but she won’t tell her family what she wants.

Her mother is also an incredibly well-crafted character. This woman has been shaped by the difficulties of moving from her home first to England and then to Canada in search of the proverbial better life, only to lose her husband in a construction accident and be forced to raise her six daughters alone, working as a fruit picker and janitor to make ends meet. Her situation raises sympathy, and yet she is a difficult woman to love. She banishes one daughter for doing nothing wrong, and she all but forces another daughter to stay in a physically abusive marriage because a woman simply does not leave her husband. Custom and tradition are everything to her, and she can’t understand Meena’s rebelliousness against how things must be done.

The men do not fare as well in characterization. Liam, Sunny, and Meena’s sometimes-love-interest Kal are not nearly as complete, existing more for Meena to react against than as people in their own right. In many ways they are more like the shadow cast by Meena’s absent father than living, breathing men.

Because the book is a series of snapshots rather than a more unified story, we see only the sadness. There may be joyful times in Meena’s life, but they aren’t for us. And this sadness, not unlike the grinding tragedy of Krys Lee’s Drifting House, begins to wear on the reader. The mental and psychological abuse several of the characters suffer, the lost loves, the crushing expectations begin to blend together and lose their impact. In many ways, this book would benefit from being twenty thousand words longer, drawing the story together and showing more of both Meena’s life and the lives of her family. Why does Meena suddenly accept her arranged marriage? Why isn’t Kal a suitable choice instead of Sunny? Do Sunny and Meena ever have any meaningful, loving moments, or are they both strangers, both living out the wishes of their families without ever truly connecting? The ending, too, feels more rushed than it should, a deus ex machina that “must” happen in order for Meena to fall into the life path she ends up choosing ( I won’t spoil for you what that path is). I wanted to see and know more about what happens. In many ways the book was simply too short.

And that’s a shame, because the writing is lush and elegant. Basran really is “one to watch,” as she was proclaimed by the Vancouver Sun. Her descriptions of smells are particularly evocative: Liam’s childhood home “smells like stale smoke and wet dogs, like the cheap motels my mother cleaned,” (p. 44); a clothing store “smelled like incense. Not the kind you got from the Indian store, but the kind that made being Indian smell like mango peach and gingered spice rather than the aroma of ghee and tarka that I’d grown up with” (p. 131). At times the prose reaches a little, becoming too poetic, feeling a bit forced. This is something that time and experience will smooth out, I think; this language is impressive in a first novel and speaks only of the potential of Basran’s future writings.

In editing this post, I realized I'd used the word beautiful/beautifully nine times, and that should tell you something about this book. While a bit uneven and rushed in places, this beautifully (see?) crafted tale is definitely a worthwhile read, a book that should find its way into high school and university courses in order to inspire some serious thought and discussion of the themes it presents. This book offers one more portrayal of the so-called Canadian experience, that multifaceted, multi-defined thing so often grappled with by writers and commentators. This heartbreaking story is one to read, and Gurjinder Basran is certainly one to watch.

[Andrew Canfield · Rating 3 out of 5]

Everything was Goodbye is a simple but well-told story of love and the limitations often imposed by tradition. The novel by Gurjinder Basran is set in North Delta (outside Vancouver, British Columbia) and features a number of characters who are surprisingly well-developed given the novel's moderate length.

The story follows the complicated relationships of Meena, an Indo-Canadian doing her best to find her place in the Western world. She is the youngest of six daughters living in a new country with a widowed mother; the adjustments that she has to enact on a daily basis are skillfully laid out throughout the book.

The author's knowledge of both India and Canada is evident as Meena struggles with more tradition-bound Punjabi expectations versus modern Western mores on crucial life matters such as choosing a spouse. The tight-knight Indian community around Vancouver acts as both a source of support and frustration for Meena, who encounters difficulties when it comes to gauging just how intimate it is socially acceptable for her to be with Canadians of non-Indian ancestry. This is illuminated particularly by her dealings with Liam, a Caucasian boy she meets at school and develops strong for before the cold reality of her family's reaction to their dating sets in.

Although her eventual marriage to Sunny is not exactly "arranged," it is definitely one lacking in joy or anything close to love. But Meena's mother and mother-in-law are both deeply invested in keeping up appearances among the community's Indian expats, so it is incumbent on Meena to swallow her misgivings and give the appearance of a happy bride. It is her struggles to ward off her feelings for Liam, who makes a reappearance later on in her married life, that form the backdrop for a lot of Everything was Goodbye's analysis of the tug-of-war between the traditions of one's homeland and the expectations of their adopted one.

The story is populated with lively characters that it would be easy to visualize meeting. Their personalities-Meena's included-really come through well courtesy of the above average quality of dialogue. The sense of place, however, was not as strong; given that it was such an important component of the plot, the setting should seemingly have been more fully fleshed out that it was.

While there were some insider references to early 2000s Indian pop culture, these did not detract from the overall quality of the book. If anything they made Basran's familiarity with Indian culture all the more believable and authentic.

Everything was Goodbye is a good but not great novel. It is not entirely forgettable, but neither is it a work that will leave more than a temporary impression on readers. It is great for an understanding of the struggles by Punjabi immigrants to find their way halfway across the world, but as a whole the book is easy to say goodbye to.

-Andrew Canfield Denver, Colorado (less)

[Shubhdeep Gill · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read this for a class. Meena was an incredibly unlikeable character who seemed to hate just about every aspect of her culture without any kind of growth in that regard whatsoever. This legitimately just felt like almost 300 pages of just shitting on Punjabi culture and people. The worst part is there was some genuinely good commentary in there about the way that women are treated in regards to their husbands - as simply extensions of the man instead of as individuals, or how the Punjabi community often overlooks abuse, or the double standards that exist in the community for men vs. women but it was all dampened by the fact that Meena comes across as someone who just idolizes white people and therefore hates on any aspect of her culture she can think of - the language, the food, the clothing, the celebrations and customs, even her own name. There is not a single instance in this book where she celebrates or enjoys being a part of her community and it was really disheartening to read. Overall it made me really not root for the character.


Edit: I also forgot to mention how unlikable Meena came across in her internal monologue when she was specifically describing other characters, especially characters that we as the audience weren't meant to like. Any auntie who we were supposed to dislike was described as fat, or wearing too much makeup, or talking with a specific accent, there was one where Meena was just super focused in on the auntie's breasts, it was just weird and unnecessary and often felt like it was just a cheap and lazy way to let the audience know that we weren't supposed to like a particular character even if they'd done nothing wrong.

Also the first paragraph literally refers to Karas as being something that "handcuffs you to God", and the amount of misinformation that goes unchecked in this book is crazy. We never get any indication of this being only Meena's perception and not a general truth and it's sad to think of how many people might be introduced to the Sikh community in this way and leave without knowing any better. It's one thing to make the character disconnected from her religion, that's completely fine, it's another to use your platform as one of the only representations of Punjabi Sikh people out there and use it to shit on the community entirely and present it as though there are no redeeming qualities. Would've DNFed the book right then and there if my grade didn't depend on me finishing it. Overall, disappointing. There were valid criticisms to be made, but they were overshadowed by Meena's idolization of whiteness and the presentation of Punjabi Sikh culture as entirely backwards.

[Natasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gurjinder has been compared to Jhumpa Lahiri (whose book I’ve recently read) so looking forward to how similar their writing style and choice of narrative is. Looking forward to discovering who and what Meena (the youngest daughter) chooses - their culture or her heart and wha the consequences are and how Meena deals with it. I love the subchapters within each bigger chapter - it makes the content easier to digest without the dread of having to read massive chapters. Similar to The Namesake, Meera finds a friend is isn’t Indian / Indian Canadian and forms a friendship with them and the book starts off by following that journey. I would have loved if there was more context to Meena’s five sisters and their life - fifty pages in and only two have been mentioned briefly so having that background / family context would have been nice to have; hoping I find out more as I read on. Half way through the book and I’m surprised that Meena goes ahead with the engagement and there’s no Liam in the picture but instead is Kal; her childhood friend. I love the suspense of the book so far and I’m curious to see if Meena starts in the marriage or if she walks away. Does she bump into Kai or Liam post marriage and do those emotions stir up again? I honestly would have loved if the book went into more depth of her friendship with gal and her sisters. Maybe worth having a chapter as a backstory for her mother too. As I read on, I was not expecting the plot twist that happened - quite a shocker and it took a few minutes to process what happened. I was hoping Meena will pair up with Kai as they have known each other the longest and I personally felt that would have been a nice place to explore! I am quite disappointed with the ending; it would have been nice if it had a happier ending and all the drama and suspense happens at the end. I would have loved to read how Meena’s in-law’s (Sunny’s parents) took the news; especially her father in law as they seemed to share some kind of friendship and closeness as compared to her mother-in-law. Overall a good, quick read.

[Veronica · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. The pages flew by as Meninder "Meena" grows up in an Indian family in 1990's Surrey and Vancouver, battling with her desire to break free from cultural traditions and her strong familial ties. Being caught between worlds is a theme that is returned to again and again. Meena is growing up and flexing her adolescent wings in a houseful of sisters and a single mother, and as the book progresses through the years of her life, we see that there is a pattern of indecision to Meena's life. Be the dutiful daughter, or rebel and follow her dreams of being a writer? Be the dutiful wife, or rebel and follow her heart?

I was intrigued by Meena's story, and at every crossroads, was very curious to see which path she would take. The best part of this book, for me, was the total look into growing up (in Canada) in a traditional Indian family. It's unique - most fictional books (that I've read) about Indian life and culture all take place in India. Meena is constantly trying to reconcile her two indentities - and it makes for a fascinating, complex character struggle.

The book suffers from a bit of uneven time-jumping and pacing, which isn't quite handled deftly enough to where I would call it smooth (this is where you can spot the first-time novelist) and sometimes, Meena's life is marked by events and characters that are so cliched - I wondered if it was a deliberate nod to Bollywood plot lines or not. However, the melodramatic elements don't ruin the heart and soul of the book, and Meena's complicated (but entirely real) relationship with her sisters and mother really shine.

A good read, and a great glimpse into Indo-Canadian culture, which is what really held me. Plus, it's always fun to read about British Columbia and support a BC novelist!

Last note: it's amusing to read about white stereotypes. I know that they're not all true, of course, and this reinforces the fact that my stereotypes of others aren't all true either.

[Debbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Everything Was Goodbye is the story of a family of 6 daughters being raised by their widowed mother who had emigrated from India to Canada. Meena is the youngest daughter and struggles with the restrictions of her life. Daughters are supposed to be obedient and traditional and marry the man who is selected for them. Sons are prized so Meena’s mother was felt to be doubly cursed to lose a husband and have only daughters to raise. One older sister is married to an abusive man and another sister ran away because she couldn’t live such a restrictive life. Meena meets Liam in high school, and they bond over their interests. Meena would like to become a writer and Liam is interested in photography. Meena is forbidden to even walk down the street with Liam since he is white, and Meena’s friends and family would be scandalized. Liam asks Meena to run away with him, but Meena finds she can’t abandon her family. Her mother has already lost one daughter and Meena doesn’t want to add more sorrow to her life. The book jumps ahead to Meena being 24 years old and still living at home with her mother. She ends up allowing herself to be forced into an arranged marriage with Sunny, a successful lawyer. He isn’t any happier about the marriage than Meena but wants to please his parents and goes ahead with the marriage.
This was a very short novel at only 272 pages. I found it irritating that huge chunks of time were skipped over. The ending was unexpected and heartbreaking since I had hoped so hard for something better for Meena. I would have liked more details about her mother and other sisters. This was Gurjinder Basran’s first book and I would be interested in reading more of her books.

[Liane · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story line is about an East-Indian girl whose family emigrated to Canada when she was a baby and then her father died. She grows up in a traditional Indian household with her 6 sisters in Delta, BC. The challenge is her integration into the larger society, while her family wants her to maintain a life based on Indian culture. The novel focuses on her being torn between the two cultures and how she ultimately chooses to live. There are several sisters two of whom are representative of the two extreme choices, to remain completely faithful to Indian tradition and one who walks away, completely cutting off ties to her family. The protagonist, forever trying to not rock the boat, but unwilling to settle for something that isn't of her own choosing. The story line is somewhat predictable until the last 1/3 of the book and then it becomes something of a wild ride.
During the initial chapters of the book, Gurjinder Basran has perfectly captured the teenage angst of a young girl, and the other characters feel more like caricatures than real people. However as we get farther into the story, and the protagonist matures, that feeling of superficiality disappears-as it likely would if a real teenager started telling a story and then grew up while telling it.
I don't know how accurately the Indian standards and lifestyle are portrayed here, as it is not a culture that I am particularly familiar with, but it felt very real to me. And certainly the challenge of living with the standards of one culture while completely surrounded by another is clearly defined-with no simple answers. I recommend this book.

[Charles · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent novel which describes the challenges confronting Meena a young Sikh woman living in BC's Lower Mainland, who has an independent mind & rebels against some of the orthodoxies & traditions of the Sikh community which her widowed mother subscribes to. As a result she endures a difficult & painful life. Starting in her teens she develops an attachment to Liam a "gora"or non-Sikh who accepts her on her own terms, but is unacceptable to the family. When he leaves to pursue his life as a photographer elsewhere, she can't find it in her to follow. She can't break the family bonds. In time she will knuckle under & agree to a marriage sanctioned by her family to Sunny a wealthy spoiled young lawyer who is also marrying under family duress, and will find him distant, selfish & prone to violence. When Liam comes back in her life while Sunny is away in India, she will have an affair culminating in pregnancy which she discovers only after Liam leaves as Sunny returns. She tries to find Liam to let him know but is unable to do so until Kal, Sunny's cousin who was always attached to Meena, reunites them, after she has broken with Sunny. They have a loving relation & Liam loves the baby. When Kal gets married, Liam & Meena attend but a violent confrontation between Liam & Sunny ends with Liam being killed. The novel ends 4 years later when Kal & Meena who is still preoccupied with Liam's death, have a shaky relationship that might possibly mature.

[Sage Nerd · Rating 3 out of 5]

I may change the star rating, I'm fresh off of closing this book

Perhaps I came in with tainted expectations having read this blog which recommend this book had I read and liked Erotic Tales for Pujabi widows

These books share elements and themes.
an intelligent trapped in family culture and traditions Punjab writer woman wanting love and their ephemeral sense of what getting that freed they want they grapple with

These books other wise are just not alike.

I cam in wanting a romance, poetic prose, skilfully depicted errotic moments colored by culture and sensuality which... was technically present in this book. sparsely

The nature of this book is grounded in the dark side of the realities a person in that place in humanity might face (the main character of each novel)

interestingly, these are both very hopeful books

very different messages of hope

I wish I could read this book for the first time again but going in blind

This book deeply saddened me and probably in a way the author had a side intention of but I happen to relate Liam and Meena

I disliked meena but did get very invested in her character.

Gurjinder Basran is no Bali Kaur Baswal, these authors have different voices, different styles

I will check out another book from this author if she's written anything else

[Ree Samra · Rating 3 out of 5]

I chose this book based on the fact that it was set in Canada, specifically in the lower Mainland. My views are a little bit conflicted due to the fact I enjoyed the characters in the book, but i didnt feel like I got to really jump into the storyline.
I myself could relate to Meena and her struggle to stay true to her Sikh roots but also want to be true to myself and who I am.
The book starts off just the way I would expect any Indian family with girls living in the house. The humour, the banter, the arguing. Meena wants to be like any typical modern girl but due to the rules and traditions that her widowed mother follows she cannot. She falls in love with Liam, a non-Inian and gives that up because she knows that will not be allowed. Arranged marriage awaits her, and the turmoil it brings is heartbreak in itself.

I did enjoy this book and finised it in two sittings, but felt that the plotlines never fully got chances to develop. I wanted to see more development in the relationships between Meena and the men in her life.

I wasnt happy with the ending, but wasnt surprised that the author took it that way either.

Overall I did enjoy Basrans writing and look forward to reading more of her work

[Marziya Khan · Rating 1 out of 5]

I went into this book with an air of optimism, ready to read a story that could mirror my personal experience of being a first-generation Canadian with a South Asian background. After all, experiences concerning culture are not monolithic, but there are bound to be similarities. As expected, the pressure of family expectations, the perils of community gossip, and the insecurity of "ethnic-ness" were all spotlit (albeit, with some exaggeration, but beggars can't be choosers). What I did not anticipate was for these aspects to be shown in a negative light from beginning to end. The main character, Meena, continually dislikes her own culture, never to reconcile with it again. And while this is not an unpopular experience of ethnic kids in the west- if anything it's very much prevalent. What I have trouble with is how this is never resolved, overcome, or touched back on. It's left simply undeveloped and static. This book turned out to be like those diverse Netflix dramas I dislike; the kind with representation that has the ability to ramify into reinstating prejudiced opinions towards minority cultures. Elite, I'm looking at you!!!

[Jalisha Dawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book has beautiful prose. My biggest gripe is the protagonist, Meena. She’s indecisive and doesn’t make firm decisions when she’s faced to make a choice, which frustrated me the further I read the book. A lot of the major things that happen in the book are due to either her indecisiveness or her lack of assertiveness in decisions she actually wants to make. Essentially, the story is moving along because other characters are making things happen, not Meena. Throughout the entire book, she constantly denies herself autonomy and agency, believing that she must submit to her family’s wishes, even though no one is forcing her to do so. She conforms to others’ demands and expectations because she feels like she’s obligated to. While there nothing wrong with Meena starting off this way, after finishing the book, I didn’t feel that she had learned self-assertion or had grown from her life experiences.

[Chloe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love books written by and about South Asians. I liked this one. Her debut
novel she was spot-on. The cultural norms and traditions that bind the lives of so many women never fail to provoke strong feelings in me and the grief they can cause is almost inevitable in so many cases. Not every couple marries first and then falls in love. Meena finally prevailed in the end and the jouney was difficult and fascinating. It was small, novel but one that captured the Sikh immigrant experience where old traditions clashed sadly with new ideas and old customs. I enjoyed it.