It Starts with Self-Compassion: A Practical Road Map

by Celeste Headlee

When you hear the term “self-compassion,” you might immediately think of the word “nice,” or think that it’s a feeling reserved for the saintly and tenderhearted… that the rest of us are simply too busy to bother showing others any sort of kindness, let alone showing it to ourselves. But what if you found that was a misconception, and that compassion — especially for oneself — isn’t “nice,” but tough and resilient and even badass? And what if cultivating that “tough” self-compassion isn’t a fruitless endeavor at all, and could actually provide you with proven, long-term emotional benefits?

In It Starts with Self-Compassion, Celeste Headlee, award-winning journalist and host of the hit 2015 Tedx Talk “10 ways to have a better conversation,” lays out the case for turning inward and extending empathy and understanding to ourselves, while providing us with ways to recognize and acknowledge our thoughts and behavior without judgement. Blending her signature empathy with extensive, carefully curated research from positive psychology, neuropsychiatry, sociology, and other disciplines, Headlee offers a comprehensive examination of self-compassion and how it can improve your emotional well-being, as well as distinguish it from related notions like self-love or self-acceptance, all while centering her discussion around its three key components: mindfulness, a sense of connection to all of humanity, and kindness.

But Headlee’s approach isn’t just theoretical. In addition to defining and breaking down psychological concepts, this Scribd Original is packed with evidence-based exercises to help you assess your current level of self-compassion and give it a boost through journaling and “mind-training” practices like meditation and internal dialogues.

This new work from Headlee is a crucially insightful read for all personal growth fans. It offers a fresh perspective on thinking about how we can be better to ourselves, and is as practical and scientifically rigorous as it is emotionally enlightening and accessible.

Genres: Audiobook

101 pages, ebook

Published May 16, 2023

Reviews

[Jitter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely worth a re-read

[Madhab Dwibedy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well sometimes u find bad books

[Roxanyeli Oz · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5*

Me gustó mucho.

Cortito y preciso. Un enfoque interesante, ideas que me pusieron a pensar. Y una nueva perspectiva de lo que es auto-compasión. Leer este libro me fue un auto-descubrimiento y siempre es agradable oir a Celeste♥

[Mela Nie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some notes:

• There are several different responses that we may have when we see someone in pain. Some of these are similar to but not the same as compassion:
1. Pity – a feeling of sorrow inspired by someone else’s anguish which carries an implication of superiority or being above and apart the other person
2. Sympathy – feeling together without a desire to ease their pain
3. Empathy – feeling with someone; memory of the same experience; still doesn’t involve action
4. Compassion – feeling motivated to alleviate their suffering
• Kindness is not doing nice things to oneself in the form of indulgence. Self-compassion kindness comes in the form of support (eg. re-assurance) rather than indulgence. Getting what you need vs. what you want.
• Doing right things for the wrong reasons might not be good for you.

[Hannah · Rating 1 out of 5]

Honestly I skimmed heavily after the first chapter where Celeste decides to use multiple out-of-context examples of other people's religions to make a point. To be honest, I don't see much validity in a book that sells itself as "Road Map" to compassion when the first chapter is filled with inaccurate portrayals of religions that the author does not practice and obviously does not study.

Spoiler alert: The shepherd's rod was, and still is, used as a tool to extend comfort and guidance; an extension of the arm which most accurately represents a hug. But the author doesn't know that because it wouldn't be convenient to do any actual research.

[xotic3 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was surprisingly amazing for a quick read, it really rang a lot of bells that I needed to hear again and actually work on… thank you for this!

[Joyce · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short and straight to the point.

[Alexis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Everyone needs a lesson on self-compassion at some point in their life, sooner rather than later.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wish it was longer!

[Melissa Bragg · Rating 5 out of 5]

CFT is my favorite psychological modality, fun short book.

[Jennifer Kauflin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Would have been better in print vs audio.

[Anas Aboutaoufik · Rating 4 out of 5]

Self compassion isn't easy or soft: it is a badass process to have compassion for yourself and for others, in this crazy and fast moving World we live in.
May all of us find peace and love in this Life.