There Is No Dog

by Meg Rosoff

What if God were a teenaged boy?

In the beginning, Bob created the heavens and the earth and the beasts of the field and the creatures of the sea, and twenty-five million other species (including lots of cute girls). But mostly he prefers eating junk food and leaving his dirty clothes in a heap at the side of his bed.

Every time he falls in love, Earth erupts in natural disasters, and it's usually Bob's beleaguered assistant, Mr. B., who is left cleaning up the mess. So humankind is going to be very sorry indeed that Bob ever ran into a beautiful, completely irresistible girl called Lucy . . .

Genres: Young Adult, Fantasy, Fiction, Humor, Religion, Teen, Romance

288 pages, Paperback

First published August 2, 2011

About the author

Meg Rosoff was born in Boston and had three or four careers in publishing and advertising before she moved to London in 1989, where she lives now with her husband and daughter. Formerly a Young Adult author, Meg has earned numerous prizes including the highest American and British honors for YA fiction: the Michael L. Printz Award and the Carnegie Medal.

Reviews

[Emily May · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't get it.

This is the third book I've read by Meg Rosoff, fourth if you count my failed attempt to start Just in Case. What I've discovered to be most true about Rosoff's novels is that reading and liking one is far from a guarantee that you will enjoy the rest - or, in fact, any of the others - so I cannot offer words like: "if you enjoyed How I Live Now (etc.) this will be your kind of book". This novel is a million miles away from anything Meg Rosoff has previously written, and generally quite different to anything I've ever read.

My brother gets annoyed with me because he says that I have to have a reason for everything. That I expect books to have a point, to make a statement, and to leave me with an important message that makes me think for a while afterwards. This is only partially true - I love a bit of fun nonsense like Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging, but I think if a book takes on a subject like God and creation and the reasons for bad stuff happening in the world then there should be something important that the author wants us to take from it. To put it simply, I wanted more from this book. I don't think there was a hidden message and if there was I didn't get it.

There's always the chance that this book was too deep for me and that special metaphorical something-or-other went straight over my head. But, for me, this book was simply about an horny teenager who got the job of God because no one else wanted it... which would actually explain a lot. This horny teenager falls in love with a zoo-worker called Lucy, he has an assistant who can't stand him and a mother who has lost his beloved pet in a poker game. It's so ridiculously bizarre that I kept waiting for it all to come together and symbolise genesis or some interesting philosophy... or just, you know, something. I'm clueless as to what the point of this book was.

The novel seemed to try to be an odd combination of Monty Python-style blasphemy and Douglas Adams' humorous philosophy. The former I absolutely love and grew up on and was probably the reason that this book did give me a few laughs, especially near the beginning. The latter I still struggle to understand. Adams is the kind of author who I occasionally love to quote - about dolphins, creation, etc. - but really don't enjoy reading that much.

I decided to read this after I noticed it got a starred review on Kirkus that promised interesting questions like "if life were without flaws and no one ever changed or died, what role would God have?" And sure, it delivered the questions, but made no attempt to answer them... sorry, but I can come up with plenty of these questions myself. It's the discussions and possible answers that I wanted to read.

If you're looking for a bit of strange, British humour (yeah, I know Rosoff is from Boston, but she moved to the UK in 1989 and it looks like we got to her) and philosophy, then you might actually like There is No Dog. But I, for one, would suggest you get your fix from an author who does it best and leaves a lasting impression - and I love him! - Stephen Fry.

[Liz Janet · Rating 1 out of 5]

Is this book offensive? Yes, but not for the reason one might think. I am not offended because of the religious aspect, I am offended because the writing, plot, characters, and everything else a book is meant to be comprised of, sucked.
At the beginning, before reading the book this was me:

Halfway through it turned into this:

And by the end:

[Courtney Johnston · Rating 5 out of 5]

What kind of God would make a world like this? It's the question we ask when we start testing our theological chop in our teenage years: a world of wars and rape and environmental disaster, of pimples erupting just before the school dance and turning up to the ball and seeing your arch-enemy in the same dress as you (but a size smaller).

Meg Rosoff's answer? A negligent, floppy-haired teenage boy god - irritable, distractable, sex-mad and short-tempered, yet also rather luscious and prone to the odd moment of utter brilliance. In short, Bob.

Bob got the job of God of Earth after his mother won it in an intergalactic poker hand. 'There is no Dog' starts off like Douglas Adams: Bob takes up the job with some enthusiasm, bashing out the world in six days, with - as his factotum and middle-managementy sidekick Mr B likes to reflect - no long term plan or strategy, no consultation, no common sense:

In the beginning the earth was without form and void and the darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, 'Let there be light,' and there was light.

Only it wasn't very good light. Bob created fireworks, sparklers and neon tubes that circled the globe like weird tangled rainbows. He dabbled with bugs that blinked and abstract creatures whose heads lit up and cast long overlapping shadows. There were mile-high candles and mountains of fairy lights. For an hour or so, Earth was lit by enormous crystal chandeliers.

Bob thought his creations were very cool.

They were cool, but they didn't work.

So Bob tried for an ambient glow (which proved toxic) and a blinding light in the centre of the planet, which gave off too much heat and fried the place black. And finally, when he curled up in the corner of nothingness, tired as a child by the harebrainedness of his efforts, Mr B took the opportunity to sort things out - with an external star, gravity, roughly half a cycle in darkness and half in light so there was a Day and a Night. And that was that. The evening and the morning were the first day. Not fancy, but it worked.

Mr B's job is to clean up after Bob: he filters and files the prayer, and fixes things in small ways, where he can (where doing so doesn't fuck everything up beyond all belief accidentally). He spends a lot of time worrying about the whales, his own personal creation. But millennia on, Mr B has had enough of Bob - his ingratitude, his laziness, his romantic and sexual conquests. Mr B is submitting his resignation.

Meanwhile, Bob has fallen cataclysmically in love. The world will end (perhaps literally) if he doesn't get into the pants being worn by Lucy, a virginal and exquisite 21-year-old zookeeper. As Bob pursues Lucy, the weather goes nuts - snow in summer, floods, tornadoes. Bob is not a god of small considerations. Like any boy guided largely by his sexual organ, he is singleminded and one-eyed in this endeavour.

In another side story, Bob's mother Mona - a voluptuous, voluptuary goddess with more than a taste for gin - has lost Bob's pet Eck (a strange cross between a penguin and a lemur with an anteater's nose) in yet another poker game. In six weeks Eck will be eaten by Emoto Hed, a dangerous and powerful god. Bob's too busy wooing Lucy to worry his head over much about Eck's fate right now (aside from moaning at Mona for messing with his life yet again), but Eck is undergoing an existential crisis:

So the answer to the question about whether he would have to die, Eck gathered, was yes. Yes, he would have to die; yes, he would be forgotten and the world would go on forever without him. With no mitigating circumstances to make the horror easier to swallow.

It strained his relationship with Bob. Why did you bother creating me, he wanted to ask. Why bother giving me a brain and a realisation of how miserable existence can be? Why did you invent creatures who die, and worse, who know they are going to die? What is the point of so unkind an act of creation?

Rosoff floats between Douglas Adams' giddiness, Douglas Coupland's work-place malaise, Michael Chabon's humid descriptions of teenage sexual obsession, and some P.G. Wodehouse sit-com humour. And through it all she maintains her own inimitable style, mixing musing on mortality with wanking.

The thing that's stayed with me from this book? Rosoff's evocation of teenage boys: self-centred, short-tempered, sex-mad and occasionally insanely amazing:

Mr B marvels that the same God who leaves his dirty clothes in a mouldering heap by the side of his bed could have created golden eagles and elephants and butterflies. Such moments of transcendent inspiration! Other creatures fill him with admiration as well - heavy loping striped tigers and graceful long-necked swans, creaking as they fly. Ludicrous pincushion porcupines. It's not that the boy is altogether devoid of talent, but he is devoid of discipline, compassion and emotional depth. Foresight.

And the last thing that I love? This isn't typical YA. By the end of the book, Bob's not a better person. Most of the adults have learned something and are moving on, but not Bob. Bob's still Bob - eternally teenaged, god bless him.

[Nafiza]

Yeah. No. Never.

[Jennifer Rayment · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Good Stuff
· Best premise for a book ever
· Unlike anything I have ever read before
· Made me a laugh my ass off on many occasions
· Wonderful existential questions, moral lessons and other things that really make you think (not being vague on purpose just don’t want to give to much away), blind faith
· Love the various characters especially Mr B, Eck, Estelle and Luke
· God’s name is Bob
· Thought provoking
· Love the Stephen King quote at the beginning of the book and the praise about the book from from Mal Peet at the beginning really explains the gist and why you should read

The Not so Good Stuff
· God really was a prick
· Could have used a bit more story
· Mom’s a self involved b***h

Favorite Quotes/Passages

“Perhaps the way to proceed is to think of life on earth as a colossal joke, a creation of such immense stupidity that the only way to live is to laugh until you think your heart will break.”

“She thought of talking to God, her God – a benign, all-seeing sort of deity who didn’t get too involved with the day-to-day running of life, but who (she imagined) liked to be kept informed – a sort of thoughtful , philosophy professor of a god, passing his days in contemplation of the moral complexities of good and evil.”

“In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. Only it wasn’t that simple as that. The preferred candidate for God withdrew at the last minute saying he wanted to spend more time with his family, though privately everyone suspected he was having second thoughts.”

Who should/shouldn't read
· Thinking the seriously religious will have huge problems with this
· Those who have a dry weird sense of humor like me will def enjoy
· According to chapters marketed for 9 – 12 I would disagree I would say 12 + due to mentions of sexuality – a more mature 10 yr old maybe like I was but hmm 9 don’t think so
· Great for a class read and for discussions

4.25 Dewey's

I received this from Random House in Exchange for an honest review

[TheBookSmugglers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Originally reviewed on The Book Smugglers HERE

As we all know, in the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth. But the preferred candidate for God withdrew at the last minute because the Earth was so badly positioned, off the beaten track in a rundown part of the universe. Time was passing and since no one would apply to the job, the administrators decided to offer the position as part of a bet on a game of poker. The winner promptly turned it over to her temperamental and inexperienced teenage son Bob, who, in coalition with Mr B., an old and more experienced administrator, was put in charge of our planet. Bob then proceeded with creation and created everything in a burst of teenage creativity and arrogance, in a mere six days.

Hence, the mess.

Now, thousands of years later, Mr B. is still trying to tidy things up, answering as many prayers as he can, as Bob spends his days doing whatever he wants to do. Then he falls in love with a human named Lucy and what happens when Bob falls in love?

More mess. Of catastrophic proportions.

This new book by Meg Rosoff is, for lack of a better word, brilliant. It is beautifully written almost in a fairytale-ish style. It is surreal, funny and zany in a Douglas Adams kind of way but also engaging, thoughtful and hopeful in unpredictable ways. At least it was for me and in fact, part of the beauty of this book in particular is that it embodies what is the most important thing about reading, in general: that it is open for interpretation and each reader will get from it only as much as they are willing to put into reading it.

Take for example: Bob. He is the embodiment of a teenager (and an eternal one at that): wilful, insufferable, horny, so self-absorbed to the point of being almost monstrous but also capable of limitless creativity and earnest attempts at doing the right thing (well, mostly). He is part of a pantheon that is loosely reminiscent of Greek gods but is ultimately Ms Rosoff’s own. There is definitely a degree (this is the understatement of the century) of questioning religion here but and this is very important, there is no questioning faith itself. This is a very fine line to walk and one that I felt, was done respectfully.

Having said that and going back to what one takes from such a read, this is what I came away with after reading There is no Dog:

That it is not really about god or religion at all. It is about us, humans and about people who are determined on not letting the worst happen. About the mess our planet is in, about ethics, mortality and about all the terrible stuff that happens in the world and about the end of all things.

But it is also about romantic love and everything that comes with it, all its ups and downs: hope, lust, excitement, tears and endings and beginnings. It’s there between Lucy and Bob but also between several other characters.

It is about other kinds of love as well: love for the Earth, love for the Whales (yes, you heard me right), love for one’s congregation, love for a Zoo, forbidden love, unrequited love and friendship.

About miracles that can happen when one least expects it, about beauty and about hope.

Above all, I came away loving the Eck, a secondary character. He is Bob’s pet, a penguiny creature, the very last of its species who lives basking in adoration for Bob. His destiny is too decided on a game of poker and he is to be killed and eaten very soon by another God. The Eck spends most of the book worried about this prospect, facing his own mortality, questioning:

Yes, he would have to die; yes, he would be forgotten and the world would go on forever without him. With no mitigating circumstances to make the horror easier to swallow.

It strained his relationship with Bob. Why did you bother creating me, he wanted to ask. Why bother giving me a brain and a realization of how miserable existence can be? Why did you invent creatures who die, and worse, who know they are going to die? What is the point of so unkind an act of creation?

The Eck is nearly paralysed by these questions and by fear, but he goes on. He goes on because he hopes against hope, because he wants to live, because he wants to enjoy food, and life, and friends.

The Eck is my favourite character because he is our mirror.

Finally, I also learnt that Meg Rosoff is a freaking genius and that I have another awesome book to add to my top keeper shelf (and my top 10 of 2011).

[Owen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Bob is 19, a lazy, undisciplined kid, but he has enough sense to want to escape his reckless mother Mona, who most recently has gambled away his pet Eck in a poker game. On top of that, Bob's job is way over his head and his appointed helper Mr. B has come to resent picking up after him. Then Bob meets Lucy, a lovely young woman working at the zoo, and though Mona and Mr. B and everyone else can tell no good will come of it, Bob decides he's fallen in love with her.

Standard YA rom-com. Except Bob's job is God, the Heavenly Father, Earth's Creator, All of the Above—and Lucy is a normal, well-adjusted, mortal human. Not least among the complications is that the weather really does express God's emotions, and teenage love angst translates to flooding, hail, and heat waves, usually switching off every ten minutes.

It's an audaciously silly idea and I'd seen some good buzz, so I picked it up when I spotted it on the library new-books shelf. It's pleasant enough and goes by quickly, but it really doesn't amount to much.

The writing is limp, phoned-in—it wants to be Douglas Adams–level silly, but it's about 90% short of invention for that. About three fourths of the way through, Rosoff unaccountably switches from past-tense to present-tense narration; it changes nothing about how the story comes across and makes me suspect her editor just speed-read the ms before handing off for production. As a story, it mostly fits together, at least on its own terms, and the premise lends itself to some set-pieces which kept me amused for as long as it took to read them, but really, that's all I got. If you find yourself reading it you'll probably get some chuckles out of it, but it's not worth seeking out.

[Courtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

OK folks. There's some good news and some bad news. The good news is: God exists. The bad news? God is an arrogant, insolent, lustful, forgetful teenaged boy named Bob. Bob's mother won our corner of the universe in a poker game and pawned it off on her underage son. Bob had some fun creating our world, but grew bored rather quickly and let things get tremendously out of control. The only thing really holding it all together is Bob's personal assistant, Mr. B. Mr. B is sick of dealing with Bob and has already requested a transfer, though he has yet to tell Bob. The only thing Bob cares about at present anyway is a young zoologist assistant named Lucy. And Mr. B expects that to pass in the typical melodramatic disaster that tends to create dramatic weather patterns around the globe, usually leading to widespread suffering and destruction. No one is happy when Bob falls in love. Not even Bob.
This book made me laugh and think, which is my favorite combination of reactions to a book. The tone and universe remind me a bit of some of my other favorite comedically-inclined authors (Douglas Adams, Neil Gaiman, Christopher Moore...). If you've ever wondered why your prayers seem to fall on deaf ears, well, here's a possible answer. But never fear, there's a silver lining...

[Jasmine · Rating 1 out of 5]

In which God is a teenager and a total asshole, honestly. Whatever message this story may have had went completely over my head.

[Alja Katuin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wat een chaos dit boek. Ik snapte er helemaal niks van en heb echt met tegenzin gelezen. Ja, er zaten wel wat ‘ok’ stukjes in, maar heel eerlijk? Bijna niks in dit boek sprak me aan, gaf me het idee dat ik ook echt naar een puberende God keek of wat dan ook. Dit boek beloofde vanalles, maar heeft daarvan niks waar gemaakt.

[Kerstin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kurzbeschreibung:
Stellen Sie sich vor, Gott heißt Bob, ist ein 19-jähriger Schnösel, der ein paar Straßen weiter wohnt und den halben Tag verschläft. Vor einigen Jahrmillionen hatte er seine kreativen sechs Tage, aber seitdem hat er am Schicksal der Menschheit das Interesse verloren. Vielmehr interessiert er sich für die hübsche Lucy. Mit ihr will er zusammensein, koste es, was es wolle. Doch wenn Bob sich verliebt, versinkt die Welt im wahrsten Sinne des Wortes im Chaos.

Zur Autorin:
Bevor sie anfing zu schreiben, arbeitete Meg Rosoff in vielen verschiedenen Jobs, unter anderem im Verlagswesen und in der Werbung. 1989 zog sie von New York nach London, wo sie heute mit ihrem Mann und ihrer Tochter lebt. Ihre Romane wurden mehrfach ausgezeichnet, u.a. mit dem Deutschen Jugendliteraturpreis. In Großbritannien stand sie mit So lebe ich jetzt lange auf der Bestsellerliste.

Rezension:
Erzählt wird die Geschichte von Bob, einem jungen Rotzlöffel, der außerdem auch noch Gott ist, der Schöpfer der Welt. Diesen Job hat er von seiner Mutter geschenkt bekommen, die ihn beim Pokerspiel gewonnen hat. Bob selbst zeigt nicht viel Interesse an seinem Beruf und so hat Mr. B., sein Assistent, alle Hände voll zu tun, um den Anforderungen nachzukommen und überlegt sich, zu kündigen.

Als Bob sich dann mal wieder in ein irdisches Mädchen verliebt, schwant Mr. B. und auch Bobs Mutter Mona Schlimmes. Denn immer wenn Bob mit einem Mädchen anbandelt, spielt das Wetter verrückt und es hagelt Katastrophen. Doch mit Lucy, die in einem Zoo als Tierpflegerin arbeitet, scheint alles anders zu sein: Bob meint es zum ersten Mal in seinem Leben ernst mit einer Frau und hat plötzlich nichts anderes mehr im Kopf als Lucy...

Mit Oh.Mein.Gott. legt Meg Rosoff eine wahrlich haarsträubende Geschichte vor. Denn wie wäre es, wenn Gott wirklich ein junger pubertierender Tunichtgut wäre, der nichts anderes als Mädchen im Kopf hat und sich nicht um seine eigentliche Aufgabe, die Welt im Einklang zu halten, kümmert? Nicht auszudenken...

Protagonist Bob ist ein wirklich überheblich und unsympathisch agierender Charakter, für den ich keine Zuneigung empfinden konnte. Für seine 19 Jahre benimmt er sich mehr als kindisch und ignorant vor allem seinem Assistenten Mr. B. gegenüber, der alles tut, um Bobs Versagen in seinen Aufgaben zu kaschieren und auszubügeln.

Auch erhält der Leser Einblick in das Leben von Bobs Mutter Mona, die in Casinos beim Poker ihr Geld verspielt und gerne mal einen über den Durst trinkt. Dann wäre da noch Lucy, in die sich Bob verliebt, was auf Gegenseitigkeit beruht. Doch in ihr werden immer mehr Zweifel wach, ob Bob mit offenen Karten spielt. Denn er verrät ihr natürlich nicht, dass er Gott ist und somit verstrickt er sich immer mehr in Ausreden und Ausflüchte, wenn sie Näheres über sein Leben wissen möchte.

Zwar ist die Idee, die hinter Oh.Mein.Gott. steckt, zweifellos innovativ und originell, dennoch konnte mich die Geschichte nicht ganz überzeugen, da Meg Rosoff einfach zuviele haarsträubende Begebenheiten aneinanderreiht, die für mich oftmals zuviel des Guten waren. Auch die zahlreichen humorigen Szenen kamen mir zu sehr gewollt daher. Aber da sollte sich jeder interessierte Leser selbst eine Meinung dazu bilden!

Fazit: Oh.Mein.Gott enthält zwar eine originelle Grundidee, doch konnte mich das Buch wegen seiner manchmal zu gewollten witzigen Szenen und Aneinanderreihungen nicht ganz überzeugen. Die Charakterzeichnung von Meg Rosoff allerdings empfand ich als gelungen.

[Sam · Rating 2 out of 5]

I remember picking this up and thinking it sounded really interesting so I put it on my to-read list and that's where it stayed for a while. I saw that there was a talking book edition available through the library so I decided to get it.

I hate to give this 2 stars because I've heard great things about this but unfortunately it wasn't for me. I found myself becoming bored with the characters. Bob didn't really irritate me or make me feel anything about him at all. Lucy was also boring, the character I think I liked best was the Eck. It didn't really say anything but I felt like I connected with it the most. The story of God being a sex driven teenage boy is unique and had me intrigued for a time but I didn't really understand where it was going.

I really think that I didn't get the concept of what the author was trying to achieve. Please don't base my review on not reading this because you might enjoy it!

[Tara Chevrestt · Rating 3 out of 5]

At first, I found this book hilarious and was spending more time laughing than reading. Let's pretend that God is really a teenage boy who's really horny and every time he falls in love with a chick, a mortal chick, the earth is destroyed by crazy weather. Every time he forgets to turn off the water in his bathtub, the earth is flooded. And this is a very lazy, self-centered, God named Bob who's mother won the planet earth in a galaxy poker game. The author gets a star for uniqueness alone. LOL

Bob is yet in love with another mortal girl, Lucy. But it can't work because Lucy is going to age, wither, and rot and Bob is going to stay Bob. There's also Mr. B who does all the work and wishes to resign, Estelle (I have nothing much to say about her. Her character didn't have a lot of impact, really.) Bob's mom... and this was just too weird. I'll get to that.

For full review, please click on the link: http://wwwbookbabe.blogspot.com/2011/...

[Kelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

God is a teenage boy. And a total d-bag.

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am a person born to ponder. I ponder the mundane (Why would my normally level-headed neighbor paint her front door chartreuse?) to the sublime (What is the purpose of human life?) to the quirky. (What if our beautiful but imperfect universe is not the creation of an omnipotent, all-wise Father/Mother God, but is instead the divine equivalent of their adolescent offspring's middle-school science project? You know, that well-intentioned project that shows the emerging spark of great intelligence but also shows the creator's immaturity and, therefore, has some pretty big flaws? Would this not explain few things!???) I now know that there is at least one other person in the universe who has pondered such off-beat things, and her name is Meg Rosoff.

This book defies categorization as far as I'm concerned. It also defies the Goodreads ratings system. Initially, I was quite entertained. (Oooh, 4 stars) Then I was frustrated and perturbed. (I'm done with this book! 1 star and DNF) Wait, I can't stop. I have to know where the hell this strange book is going! (Back in the game, 3 stars) I finally decided to settle on that 3 stars, though if you read it, be prepared for one doozy of a strange ride!

[Claire (Book Blog Bird) · Rating 3 out of 5]

This and other reviews are featured on my blog: Book Blog Bird

I picked There Is No Dog up as part of a recent library haul because it looked amusing and irreverent, which are two qualities I admire greatly in books. I’ve just finished it and I’m not really sure what to make of it. It’s either a work of such staggering philosophical and existential brilliance that it would take a lifetime to fully comprehend, or it’s a vaguely unsatisfying paranormal romance. I’m not sure which.

The premise is that God is a nineteen-year-old boy called Bob. Bob’s mother won Earth in a divine poker game and gave it to Bob to give him something to do. Sadly for Earth, Bob is feckless, lazy, whiny and irresponsible, spending most of his time as a sort of deified Kevin the Teenager, complaining about how unfair everything is and obsessing about sex. Luckily for the Earth, Bob has a sidekick, Mr B, a sort of deity-personal-assistant, who sorts out as many prayers as he can while Bob goes around trying to have sex with all the women he created. But when Bob meets Lucy, a pretty, virginal zoo assistant, however, he is determined that she is the girl for him and won’t stop until she agrees to be his.

There Is No Dog is part thought experiment, part fantasy/paranormal romance and raised and answered some interesting questions. Meg Rosoff’s writing is really very good and her descriptions and dialogue are spot on.

Bob started off as quite a funny character. He didn’t really seem nineteen years old to me; more like thirteen, and a pretty spoilt, nasty thirteen at that. His one redeeming feature (and there really is only one) is his brilliant imagination and creativity and I was willing to go with this, but unfortunately over the course of the book Bob didn’t grow or change at all and by the end of the book I just wanted to punch him.

His love interest, Lucy, was kind of dull. She’s pretty and loves animals, but that’s all I can really tell you about her. The romance between her and Bob was a bit skeevy. He sets himself up as her stalker, following her about and spying on her and coming on way too strong. Lucy’s okay with this but unfortunately the old It’s Only Stalking If They Don’t Fancy You Back trope is a bit of a peeve of mine so this didn’t sit too well. After their first encounter, Bob decides not to rape Lucy, which is big of him, but he conceals who he really is, so their whole relationship just felt a bit unsettling and weird.

I didn't really understand what the point of Luke was, as he didn't seem to do much besides harbour a secret crush on Lucy which he covered up by being cold towards her. The other gods were fun characters, especially the long-suffering Mr B, Bob’s personal assistant/sidekick, although I was never sure why, if he had enough creativity and power to create whales, he never just got on and sorted the world out himself instead of waiting for Bob to get his backside in gear. The character I felt really sorry for was Bob’s much-abused pet, Eck, and I was glad he had a happy ending.

I think I get what Meg Rosoff is trying to say: that in a world filled with rainbows and icebergs, tsunamis, earthquakes and warm summer days, with cats and blowfish and peregrine falcons, where there is so much water, but people are dying either through too much, not enough, or from it being poisoned to bits, where paedophiles walk the same pavements as saints and where children get cancer but war criminals live to ninety, it’s far more likely that the Creator (if indeed that’s how the world began) is some ADD-inflicted, capricious child rather than some benign old geezer sitting up in the sky on a cloud.

I think that's what she's trying to say, anyway.

Ultimately, this was an okay book, but really only okay. It was a quick read and held my interest, but some things were just left too uncertain for me to love it.

[E. Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me start by saying that I haven’t wanted to like, marry, a book this much in years.

Seriously, THERE IS NO DOG is actually that good. You will want to kiss it and hug it and sleep with it under your pillow and make it a little blanket fort.

Look, there are a lot of reasons you will love this book. But I’m going to give you the basics because there are so many delightful surprises and, you know, Meg Rosoff is too genius for words that I can actually make. So. Here is what you need to know:

1. THERE IS NO DOG begins with the premise that God is actually a teenage boy named Bob. Bob pretty much sucks at being God and relies mostly on his assistant Mr. B. to deal with the day-to-day tasks of being God. You know, answering prayers, keeping civilizations from falling, etc. etc.

2. There is a creature called Eck. Eck is the last Eck in existence and he is Bob’s pet. Bob’s mom is a horrible gambler, and in a poker tournament she convinced her oponent that Eck would be a fine subsitute for money, seeing as Eck meat is the best meat like ever. Bob’s mom loses Eck, and Eck is given six weeks to live before being eaten.

3. I love Eck. I love Eck so much that if Eck came to live with me I would turn our home office into the Eck room and fill it with cakes and snacks for Eck. This is how much you will love Eck, too.

4. Bob is in love. He is determined that this time it will be real, human love, none of this coming to her in the form of a swan and yadda yadda yadda. Of course, when things don’t go his way, the weather goes completely awry and the world turns topsy turvey. It is all Mr. B. can do to keep things in order and he’s finally had it. He’s going to retire.

5. As if that isn’t enough, there are MORE characters and MORE little pockets of delightful subplots. The writing is this brilliant, lyric prose, the voice is stunning, and just talking about this book makes me all squishy inside. If you read one book this year, (and I hope you’ll read many, but I’m just saying) please make it THERE IS NO DOG by Meg Rosoff.

[jesse · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5/5
who is god?

is god a man? or a woman? or a fish? or a goat? is god old or young? fat or thin? [..] is god invisible? out to lunch? listening carefully? or just a very silly idea?

does god live in heaven? on a cloud? somewhere in outer space? in our heads? in the bible? or no place at all?

maybe god is a toad. or a crow. or a dream. or a tree. or an idea someone thought up ten thousand years ago. or all those things. or none of them. why not? no one can really tell us who or what god is, or even if god exists at all.

some people think that god created man.
some people think that man created god.
some people think that their god is the only god.
some people think there are lots of gods — hundreds of them!
some people would kill anyone who disagreed with them about exactly who or what god is.
some people are absolutely positively 100% certain that there is no god.
some people just….aren’t….too….sure.

maybe god is a feeling. a good feeling that makes you feel safe. or a horrible shouting feeling that says thou shalt not do this, thou shalt not do that, thou shalt not have any fun at all!

maybe god is the voice in your head that tells you not to hurt other people. not to steal or kill or lie to yourself. or — remember to put the top back on the mustard.

maybe god is like nature. like a sunny day or a wave in the ocean or an owl flying over a field [..]

maybe you only see god when you need to see god. or maybe god isn’t there after all. maybe the absence of god is god.

maybe we are all god. maybe there is no god.

no one can tell you that your god isn't the right god, or that your idea of god is the wrong idea. you don’t have to believe in god. god doesn’t have to believe in you. it's your decision. and you can always change your mind.

[ rosoff ]

[(Benji) The Non Reluctant Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

No more arguing about what god would be like... and if there even is a dog... Meg Rossoff settles all the hubbub once and for all!
This book is something that will defiantly get banned, and I can see why some people would be againstt a book like this. You make a parody of Twilight? Sure! Harry Potter? Why not? But god? I'm not so sure making fun of god is a good thing, and I think a lot of people would get rather angry about this book. Though if they actually read it, they'd find out it isn't that bad, just gentle fun. But still, Rossoff has a lot of guts to write this and Penguin has even more guts to publish it!
I thought the mythology surrounding Bob's appointment to god of earth was pretty funny, who knew god's mother won earth in a poker game for him? This is what the entire book was like. This book didn't take it's self seriously, but was an entertaining and dark book that kept me entertained for the whole 200 and some odd pages. There is No Dog is like something off South Park (the TV show).
The entire time I was reading this book I had one song constantly playing in my head: "One of Us" by Joan Osborne... feast your eyes upon the music video (which I thought was quite good)!

I love it when she asks if god was a slob like us ;-)
Despite my feeling that Bob (god) was just a tad lazy (though there are many words describe him, not one of them polite) I couldn't help but secretly liking him, despite his many flaws.

There is No Dog was a novel that had me engaged, laughing and upbeat. Not a must-read, but if you're looking for a breathe of of fresh air, There is No Dog is for you!
4/5
Cover Comments: This cover matches the book perfectly, quirky and fun!

[Jo · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was both fun and funny at times, but I was so disappointed by the general trend of things and the end. Why exactly did I just waste three hours of my life reading about a kid who didn't change, grow up, realize anything? He was abusive and uncaring and I was ready to stick with him but... really? really!? why on earth didn't we have Estelle, or Mr B as a main character? Then the story could have been framed more meaningfully and I wouldn't be left with such a nasty taste in my mouth.

Interesting thought experiment, metaphor, whatever... as Bob would say, "blahblahblah." I prefer to spend my time in the company of main characters with some kind of redeeming quality, thanks.

One of the biggest things that bothered me is that we are repeatedly told Bob at least has flashes of brilliance and creativity. For a while that's held as self-evident because of all the wonders of creation. So when Bob seems to go mad, working himself into a frenzy 'fixing the whale problem', we're told his solution is one of those flashes of brilliance. He is *God* after all. But what did he do? Make the fishes and whales swim through the air. Seriously? Mr B points out a few of at least a dozen really big red flaqs in this plan, but its still held up as brilliant? C'mon. It's not even that creative. So, this left my feeling that this weird world Rosoff imagines isn't even self-consistent or cohesive. We are told things but they don't seem to actually be true. And not in a clever, ironic way.

[Jan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hmmm. This eagerly anticipated (by me!) book left me scratching my head a bit. It is a fantastic flight of imagination, to be sure. God aka Bob, is a hormonal adolescent boy who loves to create but isn't so great at following up on the problems left in the wake of creation. That job falls to his assistant/secretary, Mr. B. Mr B. tries, but fails, to get Bob interested in the problems of Earth. Bob, however, is quite interested in a lovely young lady that he has just discovered, and like the sex-starved teenage male that he is, can only think about how to win her. Bob doesn't even care that his pet, Eck, is about to be devoured by another deity with a rather jaded palate. He has a mother, Mona, who reminds me a bit of Venus--a bit of a rattle and terribly self-centered.

This book really does not fall under any category. It is definitely a satire of theology and organized religion. Bob and his paramour, Lucy, are really just caricatures. We feel more for Mr. B and the hapless Eck than we do for any of the pantheon of Gods that make up this most peculiar theology.

It's fun and brilliantly conceived, but I just don't know if it completely succeeds as a cohesive novel. It's a bit scattershot.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love books that have existential questions in them, and this one does not disappoint. Arising naturally from the narrative are such topics as the purpose of God, the level of his involvement with mankind, and what people expect from Him. It includes characters of all levels of belief, and Gods of all levels of goodness and maturity. I think it is fascinating to see how the idea of God has evolved since ancient civilization and compare that to the immortal characters in this book. I also think it is interesting to watch the more agnostic human characters in this book, most especially how they interact with the immortal characters.

The reality of this book does not include an afterlife for mortals. Dead is dead, and there is no talk of human souls, but there is a great discussion about how difficult it is to find meaning for such a small and temporary thing as a human life.

This book also does not delve into why a just God would allow bad things to happen to good people. Here, bad things are a result of divine negligence, or, at best, divine limitation. This is not the book for those seeking affirmation that a just and all-powerful being watches over and tends to mankind.

[Wealhtheow · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bob's mother won Earth in a poker game, and gave it to Bob to get him out of her hair. He's a terrible God, lazy and selfish and foolish, but he does have flashes of brilliance. Luckily for Earth, he also has an assistant, Mr. B, who is as responsible, far-seeing and wise (if a bit stodgy) as Bob is not. Between the two of them, Earth mostly manages to putter along.

But then Bob falls in love with a human girl (again--you'd think he'd remember what happened the last few times he tried this) and Earth goes rather off the rails while he tries to court her. And Bob's pet Eck is scheduled to be eaten by a much more powerful god. And Mr. B finally tenders his resignation...

It's a little too much like magical realism or modern literature for me, and not much like fantasy. It all wraps up too neatly as well. But Rosoff is good at creating memorable, believable characters in a short amount of time, and her writing has a tinge of jaded sarcasm to it that I enjoy, so it was a fun read.

[TeaAndBooks · Rating 1 out of 5]

So although this book can be seen as religiously offensive, I put that aside and when into it with a completely unbiased mind- worse mistake ever.
The writing is simple, too simple, and I’m not sure if there was a message in this book, but ,whatever that may have been, it just wasn’t there.
The plot was almost lazy and I felt nothing but boredom throughout the book. I was angry at how weak the character development was and how baseless the whole book was.

The two stars are for the following reasons:
• the book could have been improved
• the book had some elements that I guess were kind of funny

The worse thing is that this book COULD be improved. There were areas that could have been developed and writing structure could have been more diverse. Had it not been for the young adult age, I would have given this book to my younger sister. The writing was suitable for a younger reader, but the plot was more for a young adult.

[four_eyes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eck! God save the Eck!

What a refreshing and hilarious take on the story behind creation and how all things came into being. Rosoff tells of our planet earth being overseen by a hormone-hopping teenage boy named Bob and his ever weary assistant Mr. B. Together they experiment and create all that is beautiful and all that is aghast on earth. When sulky Bob gets into another one of his bouts of lusty, amorous moods and falls for a human girl, all hell, literally, breaks loose on a biblical scale with flooded lands, falling stars, and flying whales. Throw in Bob's self-centered, and most times intoxicated, diva of a mother, his pet penguiny-like Eck who is last of his kind and oh so adorable, and Lucy, the apple in God's eye, and readers are given an outrageously delightful read.

[Kiki · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is definitely NOT a typical Meg Rosoff book. I've read a few, and this one is completely different from any of her other novels. That being said, this was not a bad book. Just don't go into it expecting something as beautiful as How I Live Now or The Bride's Farewell. Rosoff is making some kind of statement here, I think, although didn't figure out what that was, but it was highly entertaining. And, I want an eck!

[Flan]

This just didn't cut it for me.
I found it to be a poor attempt at comedic blasphemy without any underlying message that had be deduced or inferred. It was a 'surface-story' with nothing more to it. After getting past a few chapters, I started to become frustrated for not seeing the hidden message. "It must be somewhere right?", I thought to myself. But after getting at least 1/4 of the way through, nothing was clicking in place. I didn't get it.

[Jamie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Clever, but not necessarily enjoyably clever.

I also felt it was a little condescending to teenage boys, although it seems some teenage boys have read it and not felt that way.

[Grace · Rating 1 out of 5]

skimmed through the ending could not read do not know how end

[Cady · Rating 3 out of 5]

In the beginning there was Bob. And Bob created the heavens and the earth, and the beasts of the field, and the creatures of the sea, and twenty-five million other species, including lots of gorgeous girls. And, all of this, he created in just six days. Six days! Congratulations, Bob. No wonder Earth is such a mess. Imagine that God is a typical teenage boy. He is lazy, careless, self-obsessed, sex-mad - and about to meet Lucy, the most beautiful girl on Earth. Unfortunately, whenever Bob falls in love, disaster follows. Let us pray that Bob does not fall in love with Lucy.

There is No Dog is a wonderfully sarcastic and genuine novel. It unabashedly explores the story line of the main character, Bob, an unconcerned teenage boy who, despite being characterised as an asshole, is very hard not to love. Although he doesn’t realise that he isn’t a likeable person (or God, should I say, as he likes to mention as often as possible), this does not stop him from falling in love with the sweet, beautiful, animal loving girl, Lucy. This is not a good idea for him as, quoting his assistant, Mr B, ‘whenever Bob falls in love, disaster follows,’ and boy, do disasters follow. From weeks of flooding rain to kitchens freezing in the summer, Bob’s emotions being inexplicably linked with the weather becomes an amusing consequence for the reader. Although, Bob’s eventual mental capsize is a bit of a downer in his relationship with Lucy, it provokes insightful thoughts from Mr B, and I think this is where the novel can be interpreted as either deep or simply light hearted and funny. I honestly found that the chapters dedicated to Mr B questioning humility and ‘God’s’ existence was extremely deep. He tries to justify helping some people and not others, the Earth’s balance and how can God be good if so many bad things happen. Coupled with the once mentioned graffiti stating, ‘THERE IS NO GOD’, I thought the meaning behind this book was incredibly thought provoking while maintaining a breezy attitude that can still be a light and simple read.

Personally, I loved Lucy’s character at the beginning, she had a kind nature and didn’t seem particularly interested in Bob’s antics, but around the half way mark she mentally proclaimed her infinite love for Bob despite the assholeness. This lead to most of the rest of the book being about how Bob wasn’t calling her (even though he had no phone) and how she just loves him so much. This grew tiring. However, this is majorly focusing on the negatives of the book, of which there weren’t many. The only other part I found annoying was the character Skype. Skype is introduced about a third of the way into the novel and had such a unique way of phrasing everything that it took me a couple pages to understand what she meant, this include things like ‘My name’s Skype? I bet you’re, like, wondering why I’m here?’ Her constant questioning of all things, including her own name at first was incredibly frustrating. Does she not understand that, yes, her name is Skype, and yes, people are definitely wondering why she is here. I found her a rather unnecessary character but nonetheless, was quite charming by the end and I felt reasonably fond of her.

Two characters I feel I must mention are Mr B and Eck. Mr B is the assistant to Bob and I like to think, the real God of Earth, as he is the one who deals with all of its problems while Bob simply mopes about causing the problems. Mr B is an entertaining character although identified by his determined attempts to be proper; his story line kept coming back to him and his whales. I found the consistent mention of said whales absolutely delightful, they were my favourite part of the whole story and I absolutely relished all mentions of them. The whales in the ending (which I wont explicitly describe because spoilers), I thought were incredible, inventive and a hilarious way to wrap up the story. It perfectly summed up Bob’s character and gave Mr B the ending he needed. The other character, Eck, is some kind of animal, although I could never really picture him, I absolutely adored his character. He seemed so sweet and in need of love that Bob would not give him, this broke my heart and if you love animals too, it will really pull on your heartstrings. That’s why when Estelle was introduced, (*minor spoiler*) who’s father won Eck in a bet and wanted to eat him, I was so relieved that he had a friend. Although he played only a minor role in Bob’s life, it is a similar situation with the whales, where I looked forward to hearing anything more about him.

The character development in this novel, was mostly very well done, the most enjoyable being that of Luke. At the start, I found him very exasperating, the way he treated Lucy was more than a bit rude and I dreaded any mention of him as only confusion followed from Lucy. However, as the novel went on, somehow, he changed and I grew to enjoy his presence. It started when he smiled at Lucy for the first time and joked with her, although this was still confusing for her (and me), I felt like we both could appreciate the effort. Then as more time passed, he smiled more, Lucy even referenced it as ‘intimate’ and I started feeling like Bob should really be out of the picture and Luke should leap in, grab Lucy and never let her go. At the end of the novel, Luke brings back her lost capybara, the one Bob never managed to find, although this is not necessarily that important, more of an ongoing joke in the novel, I took it as a metaphor that Luke can give Lucy what she needs whereas Bob didn’t even try despite saying he would make sure he definitely would. The last line, ‘they are flooded with hope’ also felt particularly amusing, as a reference to the floods occurring throughout the whole book as well as giving as nostalgic feeling that the book is over and everything will work out.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book. I thought it was very well written and had an interesting, even if sometimes irritating, storyline. The ending went the best way possible and I loved how the characters developed throughout the novel, especially Mr B and his whales, as well as Luke. I did, however, grow tired of Bob and his childish antics but I know they were a necessary part of the story and if they hadn’t happened nor would other amazing parts (including the whales ending!) and Eck being as involved in the story as he was.

I would highly recommend this book to those who are at school and don’t have a lot of time or brain space to read anything too complicated. Its an amusing novel with an intriguing premise.
I give it a 3/5