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Loveability: Knowing How to Love and Be Loved
"Love is your destiny.It is the purpose of your life. It is the key to your happiness and to the evolution of the world." Loveability is a meditation on love. It addresses the most important thing you will ever learn. All the happiness, health, and abundance you experience in life comes from your ability to love and be loved. This ability is innate, not acquired. Robert Holden is the creator of a unique program on love called Loveability, which he teaches worldwide. He has helped thousands of people to transform their experience of love. "Love is the real work of your life," says Robert. "As you release the blocks to love you flourish even more in your relationships, work, and life." In Loveability, Robert weaves a beautiful mix of timeless principles and helpful practices about the nature of true love. With great intimacy and warmth, he shares stories, conversations, meditations, and poetry that have inspired him in his personal inquiry on love. Key themes destiny is not just to find love; it is to be the most loving person you can be. ? ? ? ? Self-love is how you are meant to feel about yourself. It is the key to loving others. ? ? ? ? When you think something is missing in a relationship, it is probably you. ? ? ? ? Forgiveness helps you to see that love has never hurt you; it is only your misperceptions of love that hurt. ? ? ? ? The greatest influence you can have in any situation is to be the presence of love.
219 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2013
258 people are currently reading
1366 people want to read
About the author
Robert Holden
93 books107 followersRobert Holden, Ph.D., is the Director of The Happiness Project and Success Intelligence. His innovative work has been featured on Oprah, Good Morning America, and media worldwide. Robert coaches leaders in business, education, politics and healthcare. His clients include Dove and the “Real Beauty Campaign,” and also Virgin and The Body Shop. Robert is a student of A Course in Miracles. He is author of the best selling books: Happiness NOW!, Shift Happens!, Authentic Success (formerly titled Success Intelligence) and Be Happy. Robert also hosts a weekly show on Hay House Radio called Shift Happens! Website: RobertHolden.org.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 72 reviews
June 20, 2013
"All you need is love.” “Love is the answer.” We all know this.
We have a holiday to celebrate love with red hearts and chocolate.
We write songs and poems about love.
We want to find love.
But do we ever really talk about it?
Robert Holden addresses the topic of love in Loveability,Knowing How to Love and Be Loved.
This is not a book about finding a romantic partner or about fixing your romantic relationship.
This book is about the most powerful healing force in the universe, which we neglect to discuss or incorporate in academia.
You might be asking, “How could we have a class about love? Such a thing doesn’t make sense.” My reply to you is another question: Is love less important than learning how to solve quadratic equations? “There were no lectures on love when I studied psychology,” Holden says. “No one addressed love directly, not even Carl Jung, who wrote about everything. It was as if we had forgotten that love existed, or maybe we were avoiding it.”
Many people are afraid of love, and grew up in homes in which the words “I love you” were never spoken.
The road to understanding love is the same road to self-actualization, because by definition, God is love and love is God. So, as you grow spiritually, you will become in closer contact to the true meaning of love.
Holden structured Loveability in five main sections:
In part one, Holden explains how love is our destiny because we are all connected to one Source. Love is our shared purpose as human beings.
In part two, Holden tells us that love is who we are, and that only by loving ourselves, we can extend love to others. Holden’s view perfectly matches Dr.Wayne Dyer’s analogy of squeezing an orange and getting orange juice because that’s all there is inside. If there is love inside of you, no matter who squeezes you, love will be what comes out. Anita Moorjani, who released her own book after her near-death experience, also brings the message of self-love and self-acceptance to be truly happy.
In part three, we learn about unconditional love. Holden writes, “The basic truth is that you are loved and wholly loveable. This basic truth is the memory of your wholeness. It is the awareness of your Unconditioned Self. It is the Original Blessing. It is your eternal loveliness.” This section of the book was especially interesting to me, because it clearly defines the difference between human love and divine love. Love is not an act, or a bargain, or idolatry. Love is not something you feel for a few selected people. Love is not lust or infatuation. Love is spiritual desire. I believe such a high percentage of marriages fail because couples don’t understand the true meaning of love. When the lust and infatuation fade, people “fall out of love.” Truth is, they might’ve never loved in the first place.
In part four, we explore the polarities of love and fear, and how fear simply cannot exist where there is love. Using “The Mirror Principle,” Holden explains how what we bring into a relationship (whether romantic or not) is what we experience, and how when we think something is missing in a relationship, it’s probably us.
Finally, in part five, titled: “Love is the Answer,” Holden calls for healing and forgiveness so we can allow love back into our lives. Have you thought about the fact that when you remain attached to past hurts you are not able to love yourself? This happens because resentments, which are a form of fear, are obstacles to love. If you are wasting your present moments being angry and sad, you are hurting yourself.
I truly enjoyed reading this book, and recommend it to all of you who need a catalyst to release the knowledge that is already within your souls.
For more info, please visit my blog: selfactualizedlife.blogspot
We have a holiday to celebrate love with red hearts and chocolate.
We write songs and poems about love.
We want to find love.
But do we ever really talk about it?
Robert Holden addresses the topic of love in Loveability,Knowing How to Love and Be Loved.
This is not a book about finding a romantic partner or about fixing your romantic relationship.
This book is about the most powerful healing force in the universe, which we neglect to discuss or incorporate in academia.
You might be asking, “How could we have a class about love? Such a thing doesn’t make sense.” My reply to you is another question: Is love less important than learning how to solve quadratic equations? “There were no lectures on love when I studied psychology,” Holden says. “No one addressed love directly, not even Carl Jung, who wrote about everything. It was as if we had forgotten that love existed, or maybe we were avoiding it.”
Many people are afraid of love, and grew up in homes in which the words “I love you” were never spoken.
The road to understanding love is the same road to self-actualization, because by definition, God is love and love is God. So, as you grow spiritually, you will become in closer contact to the true meaning of love.
Holden structured Loveability in five main sections:
In part one, Holden explains how love is our destiny because we are all connected to one Source. Love is our shared purpose as human beings.
In part two, Holden tells us that love is who we are, and that only by loving ourselves, we can extend love to others. Holden’s view perfectly matches Dr.Wayne Dyer’s analogy of squeezing an orange and getting orange juice because that’s all there is inside. If there is love inside of you, no matter who squeezes you, love will be what comes out. Anita Moorjani, who released her own book after her near-death experience, also brings the message of self-love and self-acceptance to be truly happy.
In part three, we learn about unconditional love. Holden writes, “The basic truth is that you are loved and wholly loveable. This basic truth is the memory of your wholeness. It is the awareness of your Unconditioned Self. It is the Original Blessing. It is your eternal loveliness.” This section of the book was especially interesting to me, because it clearly defines the difference between human love and divine love. Love is not an act, or a bargain, or idolatry. Love is not something you feel for a few selected people. Love is not lust or infatuation. Love is spiritual desire. I believe such a high percentage of marriages fail because couples don’t understand the true meaning of love. When the lust and infatuation fade, people “fall out of love.” Truth is, they might’ve never loved in the first place.
In part four, we explore the polarities of love and fear, and how fear simply cannot exist where there is love. Using “The Mirror Principle,” Holden explains how what we bring into a relationship (whether romantic or not) is what we experience, and how when we think something is missing in a relationship, it’s probably us.
Finally, in part five, titled: “Love is the Answer,” Holden calls for healing and forgiveness so we can allow love back into our lives. Have you thought about the fact that when you remain attached to past hurts you are not able to love yourself? This happens because resentments, which are a form of fear, are obstacles to love. If you are wasting your present moments being angry and sad, you are hurting yourself.
I truly enjoyed reading this book, and recommend it to all of you who need a catalyst to release the knowledge that is already within your souls.
For more info, please visit my blog: selfactualizedlife.blogspot
September 1, 2013
This book should be read by every person on this planet. Do not let the title fool you. It is not a book about romantic relationships. It is a book about your ability to love all people and all things. As Robert Holden says, "To love somebody is a commitment that says, ' I will not forget who you are,' and ' I will not abandon you' and ' Together we will remember what is real.' " It is a reminder that our true purpose here is to be love and be loved <3
April 30, 2013
I found this to be an incredibly inspiring book with lots of quotable lines. It's the kind of book that you want to own and revisit.
June 1, 2022
I LOVE this book!! Robert Holden does such a gorgeous job of weaving so many points together to lead us to a better understanding of the most important thing we will ever do: LOVE. He has a wonderful way of teaching using great precision without being the slightest bit pedantic. He pulls in many different signposts; poetry, anecdotes, music, psychology, philosophy, literature. All these signposts lead to the same destination but give each reader/student an opportunity to choose the best route from them. Put together the routes are delicious.
This is an ambitious subject and Dr. Holden navigates it in a warm and witty manner. I feel challenged, but not overwhelmed at how difficult it is to love others and myself. It's a very empowering and liberating book. After reading this book love feels less risky and ever so spacious.
I highly recommend anything this lovely human being has written. I also recommend any courses he teaches. I have taken his online course on the Enneagram and Love. It's fabulous!
This is an ambitious subject and Dr. Holden navigates it in a warm and witty manner. I feel challenged, but not overwhelmed at how difficult it is to love others and myself. It's a very empowering and liberating book. After reading this book love feels less risky and ever so spacious.
I highly recommend anything this lovely human being has written. I also recommend any courses he teaches. I have taken his online course on the Enneagram and Love. It's fabulous!
April 10, 2013
“Of all the things there are to learn – philosophy and mathematics, poetry and law, all the arts and all the sciences – what could be more important than that we learn how to love?” writes Marianne Williamson in the Forward of Robert Holden’s new book, “Loveability: Knowing How to Love and Be Loved.” Holden’s book is indeed a great read for those who want to take a fresh look at how love is operating in their lives.
Robert Holden did not come out of the womb as a love guru. I liked how Holden opens up in “Loveability” with his own struggles in learning how to love. In one chapter Holden reveals how uncomfortable he was with Louise Hay’s Mirror Exercise, where you look into your eyes in a mirror and say to yourself “I love you”. Holden remembers saying “I can’t do this” when recalling his first experience with the mirror exercise at age 27. “When I said the words ‘I love myself’ it sounded fake.” His retelling of this experience had special meaning for me, as I was uncomfortable, too, when I first tried mirror work. In being vulnerable with his own love issues and how he worked through them, Holden’s lessons are easy for the reader to relate to. He is one of us.
Holden emphasizes again and again in Loveability that self love is the key to a fulfilling life. Are you still dealing with painful rejections of the past? “Every relationship in your life is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself,” Holden writes. “When you make someone your source of love, they will also be a source of pain.” His words will cause me to pause the next time I feel slighted at the words or actions of another. Is it the other person doing that to me, or am I just being reminding of parts of myself I don’t accept and love? It’s not about them, it’s about me. “The quality of your relationship with yourself determines the quality of your relationship with everything else,” Holden says.
At times I felt Holden was repeating himself a bit much, stating his self love message in different forms throughout the book. Yet after reading Loveability I understood the value of his words: “Love is not just a technique you learn, a skill you acquire, or a secret you find on the last page of a book. It is a natural ability that flows effortlessly through you when you let it.”
This is the second book I have read from Holden. I also liked “Shift Happens” which I reviewed back in 2011. If you are new to Holden’s work, I recommend reading Loveability first to get a sound foundation in his self love message, and then read Shift Happens for short, daily inspirational thoughts.
The byproduct of self love according to Holden? Your relationships improve, too. “When you stop judging yourself, the habit of gratuitously judging others will also stop,” he writes. “The more you love yourself, the more people feel loved by you. It’s how reality works.”
I found myself thinking of Holden’s words on love often in the past week as different challenges came up in my life. I’m guessing the book will have the same effect on you – I recommend reading Loveability.
I received a complementary copy of this book from Hay House for review purposes. The opinions are completely my own based on my experience.
Robert Holden did not come out of the womb as a love guru. I liked how Holden opens up in “Loveability” with his own struggles in learning how to love. In one chapter Holden reveals how uncomfortable he was with Louise Hay’s Mirror Exercise, where you look into your eyes in a mirror and say to yourself “I love you”. Holden remembers saying “I can’t do this” when recalling his first experience with the mirror exercise at age 27. “When I said the words ‘I love myself’ it sounded fake.” His retelling of this experience had special meaning for me, as I was uncomfortable, too, when I first tried mirror work. In being vulnerable with his own love issues and how he worked through them, Holden’s lessons are easy for the reader to relate to. He is one of us.
Holden emphasizes again and again in Loveability that self love is the key to a fulfilling life. Are you still dealing with painful rejections of the past? “Every relationship in your life is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself,” Holden writes. “When you make someone your source of love, they will also be a source of pain.” His words will cause me to pause the next time I feel slighted at the words or actions of another. Is it the other person doing that to me, or am I just being reminding of parts of myself I don’t accept and love? It’s not about them, it’s about me. “The quality of your relationship with yourself determines the quality of your relationship with everything else,” Holden says.
At times I felt Holden was repeating himself a bit much, stating his self love message in different forms throughout the book. Yet after reading Loveability I understood the value of his words: “Love is not just a technique you learn, a skill you acquire, or a secret you find on the last page of a book. It is a natural ability that flows effortlessly through you when you let it.”
This is the second book I have read from Holden. I also liked “Shift Happens” which I reviewed back in 2011. If you are new to Holden’s work, I recommend reading Loveability first to get a sound foundation in his self love message, and then read Shift Happens for short, daily inspirational thoughts.
The byproduct of self love according to Holden? Your relationships improve, too. “When you stop judging yourself, the habit of gratuitously judging others will also stop,” he writes. “The more you love yourself, the more people feel loved by you. It’s how reality works.”
I found myself thinking of Holden’s words on love often in the past week as different challenges came up in my life. I’m guessing the book will have the same effect on you – I recommend reading Loveability.
I received a complementary copy of this book from Hay House for review purposes. The opinions are completely my own based on my experience.
May 13, 2020
This book was fine, it's just not what I wanted it to be. I'm picky with nonfiction and self help type books, and this one gave me lots to think about. But for me to like this type of book, it needs to be way more applicable than what this one is. It opened my eyes to a lot of problems I experience and why I experience them, and now I'm like "okay I need to approach this with love", but doesn't go much further than that. And it's tough to say that, because in a way, the whole idea of this book is to simply apply love to everything in your life. And I'm into that kind of thinking, but still... it could have delved a bit more into the practical aspects of doing that. Also, I wasn't into the author's religious thought that backed a lot of his statements. The book was repetitious and I think would have benefited from explaining the process behind the truths he states and not just essentially saying "This is a truth whether you believe it or not". I do think recognising "You are loveable" is important, and I do think that's a truth, but for someone who struggles with believing that, I don't see how reading this book would help them come to that conclusion, because no evidence or support for that truth is really given. Like, it presents this truth, and shows you how things will change if you believe it, but doesn't help you believe it in the first place. That being said I do think this book could benefit a lot of people who struggle with self-love and are already open to this sort of thinking.
August 29, 2017
Awesome! One of the best book on love I have read! Thank you Robert!!!
June 6, 2019
If looking for some insights on the art of loving, this one may be a good start for paving all the way.
February 22, 2025
Amazing. Everyone should read this book
September 23, 2021
I got a lot out if this book but it is terribly repetitive. I am loveable. You are loveable. We are loveable. Everyone is loveable. However, you cannot make anyone believe they are loveable. It's an inside job. A lot of people believe themselves unloveable because of things that happened to them earlier in life. Love is an eternal and whole state of being and the things we do emanate from us knowing and having and being love. There are things you can do to get back to love. Some of them are in this book, but it seems like from what this guy is saying that a lot more are in the classic woo woo text A Course In Miracles. I gotta grab that one at some point.
November 1, 2022
This made me.really consider how I can go through the world more kindly, and what self care is.
January 24, 2019
This was one of the books for a writing class that Ing is taking. As I helped her with the class, I decided it was worth a few minutes to write a somewhat scathing review before returning the Kindle book.
The author opens with a sweeping vision:
“One day, our children will learn about love at school…One day, every society on our planet will honor and celebrate the importance of love…Leaders who demonstrate love-based values, like service and compassion…Economists will teach the world that money does not work without love. They will offer us love-based economic policies that eradicate poverty and hunger and help us to experience real abundance and freedom.”
But what does Holden mean when he uses this term “love”? Is he referring to sex? Or sensual love more broadly? Familial love? The love between friends? The love of God for a creature? In chapter 1, Holden offers his own non definition:
“To know love, you must first accept that love cannot be defined. No amount of words can define love, because love is not just a name.”
So if THE key term cannot (or will not) be defined, what is this book even about? In the end, this book is little more than empty platitudes, food without nutritional value like white bread. The author encourages the reader to recognize that “your eternal loveliness has no end” and to overcome the “learned self”…presumably by learning the ideas that he teaches.
What Holden is presenting seems to be a mishmash of eastern ideas, sprinkled with statements that appear to reference the God of the Judeo-Christian tradition. He takes the nicest-sounding phrases from these theologically opposed traditions, but lacks any of the truly challenging (but meaningful and practical) practical enjoinders that virtually any real, serious religion demands.
In the end, Holden seems to simply be suggesting that we feel more emotionally positive and be kinder. But there isn’t any practical, philosophical or theological meat to his ideas; reading this is like eating cotton candy…it looks nice and tastes good, but leaves you empty and malnourished. This flavor of philosophy demands little of the reader, but also offers little of substance.
For those truly interested in the spiritual journey, in learning what love really is (and isn’t), and how it is reconciled with the practical realities of life and our tendency toward being selfish jerks, try almost anything by C.S. Lewis, but dozen or so pages of chapter 3 of The Problem of Pain has more wisdom on these matters than the 234 pages of Holden’s empty book.
The author opens with a sweeping vision:
“One day, our children will learn about love at school…One day, every society on our planet will honor and celebrate the importance of love…Leaders who demonstrate love-based values, like service and compassion…Economists will teach the world that money does not work without love. They will offer us love-based economic policies that eradicate poverty and hunger and help us to experience real abundance and freedom.”
But what does Holden mean when he uses this term “love”? Is he referring to sex? Or sensual love more broadly? Familial love? The love between friends? The love of God for a creature? In chapter 1, Holden offers his own non definition:
“To know love, you must first accept that love cannot be defined. No amount of words can define love, because love is not just a name.”
So if THE key term cannot (or will not) be defined, what is this book even about? In the end, this book is little more than empty platitudes, food without nutritional value like white bread. The author encourages the reader to recognize that “your eternal loveliness has no end” and to overcome the “learned self”…presumably by learning the ideas that he teaches.
What Holden is presenting seems to be a mishmash of eastern ideas, sprinkled with statements that appear to reference the God of the Judeo-Christian tradition. He takes the nicest-sounding phrases from these theologically opposed traditions, but lacks any of the truly challenging (but meaningful and practical) practical enjoinders that virtually any real, serious religion demands.
In the end, Holden seems to simply be suggesting that we feel more emotionally positive and be kinder. But there isn’t any practical, philosophical or theological meat to his ideas; reading this is like eating cotton candy…it looks nice and tastes good, but leaves you empty and malnourished. This flavor of philosophy demands little of the reader, but also offers little of substance.
For those truly interested in the spiritual journey, in learning what love really is (and isn’t), and how it is reconciled with the practical realities of life and our tendency toward being selfish jerks, try almost anything by C.S. Lewis, but dozen or so pages of chapter 3 of The Problem of Pain has more wisdom on these matters than the 234 pages of Holden’s empty book.
March 3, 2015
A book that speaks of how to become loveable that was what I thought I'd find within the pages of this book, it was not though... it was instead a rather long and unending sales pitch!
The other reviews for this book seem all positive and I don't know why I felt as if I was constantly being given the merest whiff of an insight into cultivating loveablity before being told that unless I went on the Loveability course I could not hope to succeed finding it.
Of particular struggle was the believability of the absolute perfect statements that Robert Holden four year old self and his own pre-school children's uttered. There was a lack of realness about the whole book that left me thinking that Robert Holden wrote it whilst in an ivory tower looking down and shaking his head upon the rest of the world.
This scornful book review is not something I thought I'd be writing about Loveablity, I can only say but this is how I honesty felt as I read from cover to cover this disappointing book.
The weird thing about this review is that I have quite a few of Robert's other books on my bookshelves & I have to say I'm loathed to lend them out to others as I like them that much, hence why I find myself so conflicted by this book!
The other reviews for this book seem all positive and I don't know why I felt as if I was constantly being given the merest whiff of an insight into cultivating loveablity before being told that unless I went on the Loveability course I could not hope to succeed finding it.
Of particular struggle was the believability of the absolute perfect statements that Robert Holden four year old self and his own pre-school children's uttered. There was a lack of realness about the whole book that left me thinking that Robert Holden wrote it whilst in an ivory tower looking down and shaking his head upon the rest of the world.
This scornful book review is not something I thought I'd be writing about Loveablity, I can only say but this is how I honesty felt as I read from cover to cover this disappointing book.
The weird thing about this review is that I have quite a few of Robert's other books on my bookshelves & I have to say I'm loathed to lend them out to others as I like them that much, hence why I find myself so conflicted by this book!
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October 7, 2018It all begins with Self Love
June 13, 2016
I listened to the audio version on Audible which I totally recommend. I love Robert Holden. Its great to hear him read his own words. This book is part physiology, sociology, self help, autobiography, and spirituality. I wished I would have had this book in 15 years ago. Self-Love is not a topic that we generally discuss. It was eye opening for me to learn what love is and how important it is to love yourself. Thank you Robert for these words.
June 7, 2016
I only read this because my therapist recommended it and while it has some really great points and advice I decided that it just was not for me. Reading the word "love" approximately 10,000 times kind of makes you hate that word.
September 12, 2018
Enjoyed this book. Feel good factor for sure
April 2, 2019
Changed my life and my outlook
December 23, 2024
Market is overwhelmed with books discussing romance kind of love, but there are only few books about generic love and its significance for our everyday life and our evolution. This is one of those books and it is really well written.
Author tells us that love is the key to our evolution and enlightenment. Everything in life is a lesson in love. With love we can improve any situation. According to author there is ongoing battle between our fear based ego self and our true self which is love. What we need is not to search for love in outside world but discover that deep down we are love.
Another two important insights about love that this book offers is that true love is unconditional acceptance and that love cannot be limited to one person or few persons. Instead when you love anyone you tend to love everyone more. Author explains it with the idea that we are all One but divided into individuals with different histories and perspectives.
A valuable insight is also that love is opposed to fear and that various fears block love. Purpose of life according to the author is to learn to become presence of love in this world despite fears. According to the author in this school of life love is the lesson and love is the teacher.
Author rightly emphasizes that narcissism is not the same as self-love and is in fact opposed to self-love. Self-love brings us empathy and feeling of warm connection with the world, while narcissism leads to lack of empathy and separates us from the rest of the world. You can only love someone as much as you are able to love self and since author claims that we are all One when you love self you love everyone more.
All in all I highly recommend reading this book. It may look too spiritual for you. It may look unrealistic love utopia kind of thing. But if you want to learn more about love this book provides you with a perspective that is worth contemplating on.
Author tells us that love is the key to our evolution and enlightenment. Everything in life is a lesson in love. With love we can improve any situation. According to author there is ongoing battle between our fear based ego self and our true self which is love. What we need is not to search for love in outside world but discover that deep down we are love.
Another two important insights about love that this book offers is that true love is unconditional acceptance and that love cannot be limited to one person or few persons. Instead when you love anyone you tend to love everyone more. Author explains it with the idea that we are all One but divided into individuals with different histories and perspectives.
A valuable insight is also that love is opposed to fear and that various fears block love. Purpose of life according to the author is to learn to become presence of love in this world despite fears. According to the author in this school of life love is the lesson and love is the teacher.
Author rightly emphasizes that narcissism is not the same as self-love and is in fact opposed to self-love. Self-love brings us empathy and feeling of warm connection with the world, while narcissism leads to lack of empathy and separates us from the rest of the world. You can only love someone as much as you are able to love self and since author claims that we are all One when you love self you love everyone more.
All in all I highly recommend reading this book. It may look too spiritual for you. It may look unrealistic love utopia kind of thing. But if you want to learn more about love this book provides you with a perspective that is worth contemplating on.
February 22, 2018
In a nutshell, filled with many questionable ideas with its framework rooted in very skimpy philosophy. It seems like an effort to unite spirituality-theology with science, and ends up being a mix of pseudo-spirituality and pseudoscience. This is a shame as the author seems to be held in high regard as a psychologist.
Scathing comments aside, its core idea has been pretty revolutionary. Perhaps there is really nothing to be negative about if it comes to self-love. Its a pretty bad book for psychology standards with very little practicality but its core idea is so important that I am willing to give it a 4 star.
Scathing comments aside, its core idea has been pretty revolutionary. Perhaps there is really nothing to be negative about if it comes to self-love. Its a pretty bad book for psychology standards with very little practicality but its core idea is so important that I am willing to give it a 4 star.
January 22, 2024
I found Robert Holden when reviewing one of his books written together with Louise Hay. They have similar views.
Robert Holden is now one of my favourite authors.
Loveability is the ability to love and be loved.
We are told that the book is a meditation on love.
The goal of our life is not just to find love, it is to be love.
It is not just to love one person, it is to love everyone.
Robert informs us that we should allow the love that is our true nature to teach us how to love and be loved.
Looking for love is not how we find love. Loveability starts with looking at yourself and finding love there.
You have to accept that you are made of love.
Like attracts like, and if you know that you are love, you’ll feel comfortable about attracting love into your life.
The way to find love is to be a more loving person. Start by loving everyone more. Everyone!
Loving everyone is true love. Step one is to offer a little willingness. Love, which is what you are made of, will show you the way if you let it.
“I am not loveable” is our basic fear.
Looking for love is painful. You are looking for love because you have judged yourself to be unloveable.
The more you keep looking, the more unloveable you feel.
Looking for love isn’t about finding someone, it’s about finding yourself again.
Robert illustrates what we ned to know by telling us about his clients, and also his family.
He teaches his four-year-old daughter Bo how to write the word “love”. Then she says “That’s not really love, is it, Daddy?”She says “Love is not a word”.
He quotes Rumi, who says “Let your teacher be Love itself”.
He complains that at school there was never a class about love.
Robert had a friend at school who, to say the least, was absolutely unattractive. But he got all the girls, which Robert didn’t. Robert asked him why and he replied “Because I love myself.” He was comfortable in his own skin.
Robert has a Loveability 3-day programme. The central idea is “Love is the lesson, Love is the teacher.”
The four key principles of loving yourself are
Self-love is knowing who you are
Self-love is knowing you are made of love
Self-love is how you really feel about yourself.
Self-love is a sacred promise kept – a vow we make to ourselves as we enter this world.
Robert tells us: The self you judge is not the real self; the self you love is the real you.
Whenever you don’t feel loveable, it’s because you are judging yourself. Robert quotes his friend Tom Carpenter as saying “To see a world that doesn’t judge you, stop judging yourself.”
I won’t say any more except that I found this to be a valuable book. It is written well and humorously. Get it now!
Robert Holden is now one of my favourite authors.
Loveability is the ability to love and be loved.
We are told that the book is a meditation on love.
The goal of our life is not just to find love, it is to be love.
It is not just to love one person, it is to love everyone.
Robert informs us that we should allow the love that is our true nature to teach us how to love and be loved.
Looking for love is not how we find love. Loveability starts with looking at yourself and finding love there.
You have to accept that you are made of love.
Like attracts like, and if you know that you are love, you’ll feel comfortable about attracting love into your life.
The way to find love is to be a more loving person. Start by loving everyone more. Everyone!
Loving everyone is true love. Step one is to offer a little willingness. Love, which is what you are made of, will show you the way if you let it.
“I am not loveable” is our basic fear.
Looking for love is painful. You are looking for love because you have judged yourself to be unloveable.
The more you keep looking, the more unloveable you feel.
Looking for love isn’t about finding someone, it’s about finding yourself again.
Robert illustrates what we ned to know by telling us about his clients, and also his family.
He teaches his four-year-old daughter Bo how to write the word “love”. Then she says “That’s not really love, is it, Daddy?”She says “Love is not a word”.
He quotes Rumi, who says “Let your teacher be Love itself”.
He complains that at school there was never a class about love.
Robert had a friend at school who, to say the least, was absolutely unattractive. But he got all the girls, which Robert didn’t. Robert asked him why and he replied “Because I love myself.” He was comfortable in his own skin.
Robert has a Loveability 3-day programme. The central idea is “Love is the lesson, Love is the teacher.”
The four key principles of loving yourself are
Self-love is knowing who you are
Self-love is knowing you are made of love
Self-love is how you really feel about yourself.
Self-love is a sacred promise kept – a vow we make to ourselves as we enter this world.
Robert tells us: The self you judge is not the real self; the self you love is the real you.
Whenever you don’t feel loveable, it’s because you are judging yourself. Robert quotes his friend Tom Carpenter as saying “To see a world that doesn’t judge you, stop judging yourself.”
I won’t say any more except that I found this to be a valuable book. It is written well and humorously. Get it now!
August 31, 2022
This book changed my life. This book made me realize that I actually didn’t love myself like I thought it did and how many negative thoughts I was harboring against myself subconsciously. It made me question and challenge my relationships and review my relationship with God (even though this is not a religious book so don’t let that deter you). You need to read this it’s incredible and so well done.
October 9, 2020
Unusual book which appeared at just the right time. Shifted in a substantial manner how I view love, self-love and being in love. It made me reflect on lots of situations in my past where I was totally clueless regarding the chaos/people surrounding me. Not an easy read but I'll re-read it in a couple of months.
January 4, 2022
This is a very thought provoking book that has a lot to explore. The main message is that we have a choice between fear and love. And that we are essentially love. I found some of the points really made me think hard about myself and my life experience. Some other points I will need time to digest and come back to. But this is a book that I will be returning to.
February 2, 2020
I love how Robert breaks down common feelings into the category of fear. Some people think these emotions are love but they are the opposite. This is a great book to reread to make sure we remember what is important and not fall back into the old mindset.
April 8, 2020
The book had some profound insights on love and how to know what is love and what isn't. It was a bit of a harder read, which is why I may not read it again, but I was overall satisfied with working through its pages.
January 15, 2021
Jako lijepa knjiga ,nekako smiruje kada je citate.Jedini razlog sto sam joj dala 3 od 5 zvjezdica je zato sto prica o stvarima koje sam vec znala i kojih sam se samo podsjetila bez da sam naucila ista novo
November 2, 2021
Listening to this book feels like receiving a hug. I love his narration. Some of the concepts and theories are questionable. Ultimately, the book is all about love, and you can’t really go wrong with that as the core message.
April 5, 2025
It is visible that this book is written with so much love and in hope to bring good to reader. I often wonder what is my truth, that I am loveable or not? Is path to loveability a matter of simple decision or a lifelong journey…
April 15, 2025
It was a book that had a lot of words without saying very much. It was filled with quotes and mini stories, but no real substance on HOW to be more loveable. I had to skim through a lot of the pages unfortunately
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