Dear Life, You Suck

by Scott Blagden

“The shrinkadinks think I have a screw loose. Ain’t playing with a full deck. Whacked-out wiring. Missing marbles.”

Irreverent, foulmouthed seventeen-year-old Cricket is the oldest ward in a Catholic boys’ home in Maine—and his life sucks. With prospects for the future that range from professional fighter to professional drug dealer, he seems doomed to a life of “criminal rapscallinity.” In fact, things look so bleak that Cricket can’t help but wonder if his best option is one final cliff dive into the great unknown. But then Wynona Bidaban steps into his world, and Cricket slowly realizes that maybe, just maybe, life doesn’t totally suck.

Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary, Realistic Fiction, Fiction, Romance, Humor, Coming Of Age

310 pages, Hardcover

First published March 26, 2013

About the author

Scott Blagden enjoys ice skating, ice fishing, and ice sculpting. He manages a mammal-free zoo in Świętochłowice, Poland.

Reviews

[Emily May · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5
Do you ever find yourself reading a book and thinking that you would probably have enjoyed it a lot more if you hadn't already read something that does the same thing but much better? That's how I felt for the majority of Dear Life, You Suck. It's a teen "problem novel" that attempts to be funny whilst at the same time delivering an important tale about the life of someone in an unfortunate situation. While I enjoyed it for the most part, I still find myself wanting to point people towards Tales of the Madman Underground instead. And, though the stories are different, they also have very much in common. So much so that reading one almost renders it unnecessary to read the other - and if you're only going to read one, you can guess which my vote goes to.

Cricket, at seventeen, is the oldest ward in his Catholic boys' home in Maine. He is troubled, foulmouthed, horny, occasionally violent when stupid people make it necessary, and he views life with a combination of humour and cynicism. For me, he is almost exactly like Karl Shoemaker from Tales of the Madman Underground. Except, on some level, I don't think he was handled quite as well. Karl was such a vibrant, not-exactly-ordinary character and his constant cursing and sexual thoughts didn't feel out of place, despite their frequency. Cricket, on the other hand, occasionally seemed more like a caricature of a troubled teenage boy written by someone much older. His swearing and fighting was used as a tool to make him seem more interesting, where Karl's was a by-product of an already interesting character.

I had a few separate issues with the language anyway, but not the cursing. My problem was with the forced slang that felt out of place most of the time and the constant switching between the Cricket who speaks like this: “The shrinkadinks think I have a screw loose. Ain’t playing with a full deck. Whacked-out wiring. Missing marbles” with made up words and fragmented sentences, and the one who contemplates life, religion and the universe like he is the wisest old monkey on the planet. It's a shame really because I enjoyed the discussions on religion and the comparisons between Cricket's parent situation and the relationship between Jesus and God - he ponders what kind of father could abandon his son when he needs him most. Very interesting, but completely at odds with other aspects of his character.

However, the main thing which I believe sets the two books I mentioned apart is the secondary characters. Tales of the Madman Underground had many colourful characters that interacted with the protagonist and made the story so much more interesting and funny. In Dear Life, You Suck, the only noteworthy character, in my opinion, is Cricket. Many others were introduced but not sufficiently explored, even in the case of Wynona - a waste of potential, if you ask me. I also think the lack of secondary character development highlighted Cricket's misogyny and the way he sees every female in the novel as a walking set of breasts and vagina. While I appreciate that Cricket has reasons for his behaviour and this isn't supposed to be a nice story about a good guy, I think if you're going to use misogyny in this way, then you really should develop said female characters beyond their anatomy. Maybe I would have felt differently about this if I'd found Cricket's romance with Wynona more satisfying.

To end on a positive, I am glad that there are still people catering for teen boys who read. And I do believe this book will find a place in the hearts of the right readers but, unfortunately, I am not one of them.

[Kelly (and the Book Boar) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/

Cricket Cherpin (seriously) has lived in an orphanage ran by nuns for the past 8 years. Now 8 months away from timing out of the system, he is contemplating his future. Cricket sees three options for himself: (1) move up from being an assistant to his drug-dealing best friend to being a full-fledged dealer himself; (2) take all of his mentor, “Caretaker’s”, training and start boxing for money; or (3) step off a cliff.

If you fall into the category of “I can’t stand YA books that take this not-really-that-intelligent lead character but yet give him the voice of a genius” you probably aren’t going to like Dear Life, you Suck. Cricket’s voice is brilliant. Foul-mouthed and filled with a vocabulary straight of a thesaurus, he’s not your average 17 year old. If you fall into the category of “I can’t stand YA books that have an oh-so-traumatic event that happened upteen years ago that the lead character is struggling to get over”, you might not like it either. Cricket suffered trauma, he tells you he’s f’d up and you know he is either going to have to come to terms with it or just end it all. I generally fall into Category #2, but somehow Scott Blagden produced a novel that didn’t make me want to pull my hair out waiting for the moment where Cricket’s past is finally revealed.

While there are other YA “trauma” books that, in my opinion, are better – this one held its own pretty well. Recommended for older teens for vulgar language, drug/alcohol use and heartbreaking reality.

[Kristin · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't enjoy this book for 2 reasons: the lack of an original story line, and the writing style/voice of the main character.

I felt overall that this story has been told a million times: Boy that grew up on the wrong side of the tracks falls for the popular girl, has a heart of gold, but only knows how to use violent behavior. Boy finds out he's good at something and that there's more to life than what his rough upbringing has shown him. This book is basically a modern day retelling of The Outsiders, but not nearly as well-written.

As for the main character's voice, I continually had to put the book down and walk away. The character did not sound believable or even that true to this generation's voice. One minute, Cricket was spewing out F-bombs, while the next he's using language heard on kindergarten playgrounds. His repetition of re-naming major characters, each with new adjectives to make sure the reader knows just how lame the character is in Cricket's mind, was tedious. We understood the first time that Mother Mary believes in tough love, that Moxie Lord is a hippie cougar, and that the principal is homosexual. Anyone can use a thesaurus, but that doesn't mean you should use it on every page. It was also very clear that the author was heavy-handed with alliteration, and I felt this book could have been edited much better.

[Noa Seidmann · Rating 4 out of 5]

קראתי בעברית, נקרא "חיים יקרים, אתם דפוקים".
קריקט הוא יתום בן 17 שעבר הרבה אירועים נוראיים בחיים שלו. בשנה האחרונה בתיכון הוא צריך להתמודד עם החיים עצמם: מה הוא עושה אחרי שהוא מסיים תיכון? מי הוא רוצה להיות?
מאוד אהבתי, אבל יש לי הרגשה שעוד כמה ימים אני כבר אשכח אותו.
השפה הייתה לפעמים וולגרית כל כך שזה כבר לא הרגיש מציאותי, אלא נכתב על מנת לזעזע

[Karen Rock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Scott Blagden’s breakout YA contemporary novel Dear Life, You Suck, will punch you in the gut as much as it tugs at your heart strings. Its wise-cracking protagonist, Cricket Cherpin, is a streetwise orphan who questions the life he’s been given: parents who cared more about drugs than him and a misunderstood, hard knocks life growing up in a Catholic orphanage in Maine.

His first step towards making sense of it all is an English assignment in which he’s asked to draft a letter to someone he’s had issues with but never confronted. In Cricket’s case, he has beef with life. In short, it sucks. So much so, he views his future in terms of an exit strategy, standing on the cliffs in the back of the converted prison now orphanage, imagining what it would be like to cast himself away.

Enter Wynona Bidaban, a hot (to Cricket) girl who just so happens to be the girlfriend of the bully he’s recently pulverized. The funny thing is, she sides with Cricket as do a surprising number of people in his life. Cricket comes to understand that he may think life sucks, but LIFE does not return that sentiment.

It’s beautiful to watch Cricket’s transformation from a disillusioned, mistrusting teenager with little self-esteem to one who comes to believe not only in life, but in himself. The prose is stunning, the humor will make you laugh out loud, and the sentimental moments couldn’t be less like Hallmark… but they still make you cry like a baby. I absolutely loved this book and would recommend it to fans of John Green, Sherman Alexie, Rodman Philbrick and Edward Bloor’s works.

[Liviania · Rating 5 out of 5]

If the title isn't enough to convince you to pick this book up, then this might not be the book for you. But trust me: you're missing out on a real gem. Scott Blagden's debut novel DEAR LIFE, YOU SUCK is the story of Cricket, who is about to age out of the boys' home he lives in.

Cricket is an amazing narrator. His voice is absolutely absorbing, and plot relevant! He's definitely a teenager, and shoots himself in the foot sometimes. (I absolutely adored one scene where he realizes his actions caused him to miss out on an opportunity.) He has anger issues, and is perhaps a bit too laid back about drug dealing. At the same time, Cricket's got a lot of positives in his personality too, and he grows as a character throughout the story. The first thing that really drew him to me as a reader is also what endears Cricket to his crush Wynona: he totally loves and cares for the younger kids in the home. Aww.

Honestly, I don't have much to say about DEAR LIFE, YOU SUCK. It fits into the vein of books like Dale Peck's SPROUT, Michael Hassan's CRASH AND BURN, and Andrew Smith's WINGER. It's a realistic contemporary that deals with some of the harsher facts of life (and being a teen), as told through the eyes of a witty, talented young man. But I really liked it. There's so much personality in this novel, from the unconventional family to the sweet romance to the slightly melodramatic but fitting ending.

Therefore: love, love, love.

[Wallace Hsieh · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's quit funny, but bad word, and it makes me laugh

[April · Rating 4 out of 5]

There’s something to be said for reading a contemporary book that it seems hasn’t yet been widely reviewed by other book bloggers. I feel a bit like an explorer right now. Dear Life, You Suck is a debut novel by Scott Blagden. Set in Maine, Dear Life, You Suck follows Cricket Cherpin who has a depressing back story and a not-so bright future. When a new girl steps into Cricket’s life, he realizes that it does not have to ‘suck’, that in fact there might just be happiness in store for him despite the circumstances.
Read the rest of my review here

[Sydney · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Dear Life, You Suck" was a very good book. I recommend this book for people who can relate or like books that are edgy with cussing. This book was about the life of a teenage boy living in a home because his parents weren't in his best interest. He is the oldest boy in the home and he has a couple months before he has to face the real world. He has no clue what he wants to do, and the group home is not helping at all. It features violence, explicit language, and more. Although the book is a little crazy and drama filled, it is extremely funny and I enjoyed reading it.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Scott Blagden has created a snarky, cynical and irreverent voice with Cricket Cherpin. He has been living in an orphanage run by nuns for the greater part of his childhood and is now on the verge of turning 18. As his 18th birthday nears, Cricket must make some life decisions. Unfortunately, the only thing he is good at is using his fists. His past has left him full of guilt and a wall around his heart. It isn’t until an interest of a girl and a near fatal accident that Cricket finally realizes life may not suck after all.

The creative language, sarcasm and profanity Cricket uses gave the book a unique voice. Although he was always getting into fights at school, Cricket has a tender spot for the younger boys at the orphanage. He looks out for them at school and tells them stories at night. Cricket also has issues with drugs, God and art. As Wynona starts showing interest in Cricket, he starts to let down some walls. When he does this, he starts to realize the other people in his life that care about him and see his potential.

"Saying I have a crush on Wynona is an understatement. She's been global warming my southern hemisphere ever since she moved here. She's only lived in Naskeag for three years, and that length of time don't count for nothing in Maine. Maine's glacial."

If you like creative language, sexual innuendos and irreverent teen boys that are hardened but gain hope again, you will love this book. Holden Caulfield meet Cricket Cherpin.

[Sue Wargo · Rating 5 out of 5]

As the back of the book states, "Cricket Cherpin's life sucks." This is one of the most engaging books I've read in ages. I am a HS librarian and this was an ARC I got at a book show. I was blown away by how authentic, tragic, yet comedic that Cricket is through out the book. Cricket lives in a group home in the middle of rural Maine. His house mother is a nun with an attitude wrapped up in her religious habit. She seems hell bent on keeping Cricket and the younger children in her charge on the right track. Cricket does almost everything wrong except when he writes and that is noticed by one of his teachers. Usually I am put off by rough or raw language and this did not bother me. While books don't come with ratings like movies, you must know that there is a LOT of swearing and a LOT of use of bad language such as calling people names that would be totally inappropriate and also a LOT of sexual talk and innuendo. But don't let that put you off of such a great story. Cricket is the rebel with a cause and deep down a flawed young man who you can totally see redeemed. I hope you will take the time to check out this new voice in YA lit. I loved it.

[Nicholas May · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read alot of books. I mean, ALOT of books. But it's rare that I want to start a book over the second I read the last word of the last page. Cricket Cherpin, he of the cursedly unfortunate name and infinite sarcasm, struck such a chord with me personally that I wish I could give more than 5 stars.

He is infinitely flawed. Damaged physically and emotionally. Yet, he stands up for what he believes in. He stands as protector for those that are too weak to do so themselves. He does it all while being grotesquely horny and hilarious!

While there are many sexual innuendos in this book that may make some parents afraid to let their daughters read it, I think this is a great insight into the mind of an adolescent male, for good or for bad. While he is certainly a raging ball of hormones, he is still driven by his heart, which most people overlook when they think of the adolescent male.

I've already suggested this book to my teenager daughter, and would suggest it to everyone. Young, Old, In-between... this ones for you.

[Kelly Hager · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted so badly to love this book and I just couldn't do it.

I will admit that part of this problem is likely the fact that I am neither a teenager nor a boy, so instead of finding Cricket clever, I mostly just found him obnoxious.

But then he'd do something completely sweet and I would like him...but then he'd go out of his way to be an even bigger creep than before, so then I'd hate him again.

To be fair, I know a lot of it has to do with his backstory (two awful parents and a dead little brother) and so yes, a lot of his swagger is to keep people at arm's length so he doesn't run the risk of being hurt or left again. But understanding this doesn't make liking Cricket any easier, and it's very hard to like someone who goes out of his way to annoy other people.

This is still an interesting book and I know a lot of people enjoyed it (including my friend Darby!) but it wasn't for me.

[Brett Casellini · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cricket Cherapin grew up in an orphanage in Maine, United States. Grown up without parents life was tough for cricket going from school to school being kicked out of most of them. Cricket with a dark past and less than a year until his 18th birthday, tries to figure things out with prospects that range from a professional fighter to a drug dealer. With things starting to become worse Cricket starts to think about taking a "cliff dive into the great unknown," but then Wynona Bidaban steps into his life and opens up the brightness in Crickets life.

[Lorrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think Cricket is one of my favorite characters of 2013. I either had a smile on my face or a lump in my throat. I loved the relationship between he and Mother Mary, and also his relationship with the Little Ones. The last two 'Dear Life' letters he wrote tugged at my heart. The ending was wonderful!

[Andrei Mocanu · Rating 4 out of 5]

The lack of an original story doesn't matter so much when the book makes you laugh every step of the way. Predictable, with too much sentimental bs at times, but definitely one of the funniest I've ever read.

[Ariella Ram · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such poor vocabulary that it was absolutely brilliant and hilarious. Maybe not so appropriate to all my friends out there on goodreads but the title grabbed me and the book just pulled me into this world. Definitely a book I couldn't put down.

[Christy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! Absolutely Loved! I think I fell a little in love with Cricket Cherpin. I laughed a lot and loved his old movie lines. He is a character that you cannot help but like and root for.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well Cricket manager to get a goofy grin on my face more than once :)

[Ricky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where do books like this come from? Can anyone answer me that? Huh?

[Suzanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sarcastic and funny.

"Sometimes I wish I could open my mouth and free the untamed swarm of thoughts buzzing around in my head." (page 93)

[Nikita Singh · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dear book, you suck.

[☁Ginjer the ninja☁ · Rating 1 out of 5]

NO. JUST... NO.

[Kristi · Rating 5 out of 5]

A unique voice and a story of guilt and growth, violence and forgiveness surrounded by raw humor and a realistic view of the world.

[Christie (The Ludic Reader) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can’t remember the last time I read a book with a protagonist as distinctive as Cricket Cherpin, the seventeen-year-old narrator of Scott Blagden’s debut YA novel Dear Life, You Suck. Some reviewers have compared Cricket to Holden (Caulfield, The Catcher in the Rye) and I guess I can see it, but I found Cricket less navel-gazey and more sympathetic than Holden, although I guess that might just be a function of context.

Cricket has lived at the Naskeag Home for Boys in Maine since he was eight. The way Cricket describes it, “It was a minimum-security facility, so the joint looks more like a mansion than a penitentiary, but you’ll never catch me calling this jailhouse home.” More often than not, Cricket refers to it as “Prison.” The Home is run by Mother Mary, a formidable figure; “She’s a presence. A planet. She has her own gravity.” Cricket has a million names for Mother Mary: Mother Mary Mockery. Mother Mary Mushroom Cloud. Mother Mary Mafia. You get the picture.

Cricket’s mouth often gets him into trouble. So do his fists. Caretaker - the actual caretaker at the home - has been teaching Cricket to box for years, but he only uses his fists to protect the Little Ones, the younger boys who live at the home, and the weaker students at school. Cricket won’t start a fight, but he is certainly capable of ending it.

There are clues that Cricket has had it tough. When his flakey English teacher, Moxie Lord, asks her students to write a letter to anyone they “have beef with but ain’t ever had the nads to tell”, Cricket writes a letter to life. When Ms. Lord actually takes Cricket’s letter seriously, it compels him to dig a little deeper and in doing so he starts to unearth his trauma.

What are the prospects for a foul-mouthed, quick-tempered, irreverent teenager? Cricket might not think he has much going for him or much to look forward to beyond taking a more active role in his BFF’s drug business, but there are more people in Cricket’s corner than he realizes.

Sure, the story isn’t new, but Cricket’s distinctive voice, and good heart make Dear Life, You Suck, a total winner in my book.

[Koon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. It’s about our roughed up orphan, Cricket, trying to make his life through high school. Since he is the only 17 year old kid at the orphanage he doesn’t have many friends, drinks, does some drugs, and gets in fights constantly. The only thing he has closest to parents is the head of the orphanage, Mother Mary and the Caretaker of the orphanage. The main plot starts to escalate when he sees some of the other orphans being bullied by the main football jock. Cricket ends the fight in a disastrous way that could make or break his soon coming adulthood.

I loved this book because it is something I was able to relate to, even though I have never been in any situations that Cricket has been in. I was able to relate to how lonely and lost he feels sometimes, and how it takes him a long time to realise what he is actually fighting for.

The book uses all sort of language you could ever imagine. If you don’t mind that I think you’ll love it. The way the main character talks can make anything hilarious. He talks like The Kid (Character from the book series The Enemy). He makes up words faster and funnier than Dr. Suess. He also uses many metaphors to compare everything he sees.

You would love this book if you like reading about fighting, a little bit of drugs, high school, getting in trouble, and overall a teenager dealing with a rough life.

You wouldn’t like this book if you don’t like language, have a hard time understanding the way the Cricket talks, or reading books from a teenage boys perspective.

[Elena Firestone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spurred on by lovable characters and an enchanting plot, Dear Life, You Suck is a story built to remember. The whimsical words and witty jokes that Blagden frequented not only ensnared me, but I am sure will ensnare anyone who opens this emotional rollercoaster of a read. From the first page, anyone could tell that Cricket would become one of their most cherished characters. His strong-yet-gentle way of living managed to melt the hearts of everyone around him, not only in small-town Maine, but the readers, too. The thought-provoking themes that are brought to the forefront of this story create a depth and form a new perspective in which I will view the world from now on. I could not possibly say enough about this book, it really will speak for itself.

For those worried about a romance—fear not. While there is a romance element, it is used as a driving force to really emphasize the strengths of human companionship. I was completely enthralled with this book, and I am positive that you will be too.

I gave this book a 5/5 star rating because of the impact it had on me. I would laugh, cry, even scream at the book. The characters seemed real and believable, which really helped develop my attachment to them. I recommend this book to anyone who is looking for their next favorite read of the year, especially to those who enjoy intellectually challenging books.

[Tiffany Rodriguez · Rating 4 out of 5]

A dysfunctional foster kid named Cricket believes life sucks , in particular, his. Cricket has no idea what hes going to do in the future , all he knows is hes good at fighting . He believes he has 3 options , boxing , dealing drugs , or committing suicide . When he meets Wynona , he starts becoming curious about his future , shes with a jock who's a bully but yet she has a sudden interest for Cricket . When he fights her boyfriend for messing with one of is foster room mates , she believes hes a jerk and starts to talk to him in a mean way . He takes it personal and goes off on her and makes her realize her boyfriend is a jerk . Cricket starts to care for his future more and more as time passes with Wynona . They start to go out and he starts to want to do something with his life , but while this is all happening , he has a friend whose name is Gus and isn't the best role model . when Cricket and Gus get in an accident for drunk driving , everything changes for Cricket . Gus doesnt make it but leaves everything with Cricket . Cricket decides to pick up his life for all the right reasons and starts looking at life a little different.

[Taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

The 3 stars are because of the ending. It would have been 2. As far as the writing style, it was inconsistent.....there were times when I felt like there must have been 2 authors writing this book. It did get progressively better, but I can't imagine an editor reading all the simile after similes and forced alliteration before the main character's names and thinking it wasn't better without. It is the equivalent to when a joke is funny (the first time), but then it is repeated to the point where it's just awkward and completely worn down. It got in the way of reading the story and almost annoyed me enough to stop altogether (which I rarely do). It seems as if the author was trying too hard to incorporate his thesaurus at times or hit a word count. When Cricket is being a goofy teenager, which is most of his inner thoughts and most of the beginning of the book, it's a redundant, amateur writing style of someone who just learned what a simile is.

On the other hand, Cricket's cynical takes on many topics, including his sacrilegious views, are humorous and well written. His experiences with love and "the horse scene" were so beautifully written and wholesome, I found myself smiling at the pages. The genuine heart to hearts he has with main characters have a totally different writing style that I enjoyed. The actual story and character I liked, once I got through the writing in the beginning.

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