Love and Salt: A Spiritual Friendship Shared in Letters

by Amy Andrews, Jessica Mesman Griffith

When Amy Andrews and Jessica Mesman Griffith met in a creative writing class in graduate school, they both confessed to writing about God. They bonded one night while reading the Book of Ruth and came to truly understand the unlikely friendship of Ruth and Naomi. In these two Old Testament women, they witnessed a beautiful spiritual friendship and a way of walking with one another toward God.

But how could they travel this path together when they would be separated by distance and time and leading busy lives as they established marriages and careers? They decided to write letters to each other—at first, for each day of Lent, but those days extended into years. Their letters became a memoir in real time and reveal deeply personal and profound accounts of conversion, motherhood, and crushing tragedy; through it all, their faith and friendship sustained them.

Told through the timeless medium of letters—in prose that is raw and intimate, humorous and poetic—Love & Salt is at its core the emotional struggle of how one spiritual friendship is formed and tested in tragedy, tempered and proven in hope.

Genres: Memoir, Faith, Nonfiction, Spirituality, Grief, Relationships, Biography Memoir

360 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2013

About the author

Amy is an award-winning, USA Today best-selling Aussie author who has written eighty-five contemporary romances in both the traditional and digital markets.

Her books bring all the feels from sass, quirk and laughter to emotional grit and panty-melting heat.

She loves good books and great booze although she'll take mediocre booze if there's nothing else. For many, many years she was a registered nurse which means she knows things. Anatomical things. And she’s not afraid to use them!

She recently took a sea change and lives by the ocean with her husband of 33 years.

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Reviews

[Lisa Mullen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love love loved this book. The honesty, truth seeking and loyal friendship touched me deeply.

[Mary Kenyon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful prose in the form of letters between these two friends. I was drawn to it by the similarities between their book, and my "Mary & Me: A Lasting Link Through Ink," co-written with Mary Jedlicka Humston, despite the fact that our book doesn't include any of the 8000 letters written between us. A good thing, too, as our letters were nothing like the beautiful prose between these two. And although we tackle the topic of faith in our book, we didn't in our letters. I'm impressed with the author's choices in reading material, and how they shared what they learned in their letters.

[Stacie Bertram · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book was a total fluke for me. I picked it up off the shelf at the library because of the cover! A life-long Catholic, I generally don't read Christian literature. (I don't dislike it, I am just more of a fiction lover and never have gotten into reading spiritual-type books). I was surprised at how I was hooked - I really did like this book. The authors met a a writing class and decided to write letters during Lent one year (a letter a day, roughly). One author, like me, was a Catholic from birth, while the other was converting to Catholicism. They had very different writing styles...one lighter, funnier, "easier to read", and one deep, thoughtful and much more challenging to interpret. I loved the idea of them exchanging handwritten letters to support each other during Lent -- and beyond, as the letters did not stop for several years.

They talk about their successes and failures in trying to grow in their faith while dealing with modern day life. As writers, they are also readers, and they liberally sprinkle others' writing in with their thoughts. The book was far from stuffy, they poked and prodded at Catholicism from every angle. Each author in turn reported struggling mightily with believing. It was refreshing to have them write so honestly about their doubts (one writes about having a bad "doubting" day and struggling not to laugh out loud during Mass because she was at that moment thinking that religion, and faith in general, might be just a big joke). So journeying with them was a comfort...how many times we doubt if any of this (believing) is real. This is however, a serious book about religion, faith and the pursuit of both. They are devout young women pouring their hearts out on paper in an intelligent, thoughtful read. It will take some time to read this book, and there are times it is "heavy" reading, but in the end you make the journey with them and are glad you did.

[Hannah Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book at a literature conference book sale my senior year of college, but I never read it until just now. I am so glad that I read this at 28 and not 22…my 28 year old self needed this friendship and it’s honesty about faith, doubt, pain, and hope in a way that a younger me would never have related to. I suspect that I will return to this again and again (this time with a pen in hand…not annotating is always a mistake!). 10/10 would recommend.

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Moving, heartbreaking, beautiful, literary. Two women choosing to make a spiritual home in Roman Catholicism as they become new mothers and grow a friendship, all the while reading great books and reflecting on writing, family, and vocation.

[Kirsten Lunstrum · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this memoir in letters. It may sound like an exaggeration, but I really feel changed by the experience of having read this book. The narrative created through the exchange of letters is intense--and intensely personal--and the reader can't help but feel drawn into this close conversation between Amy and Jessica. There's a wonderful balance between the two women's voices--a balance between the rational and the emotional, the earth-bound and the divine--and a full exploration of the self as individual, mother, wife, sister, and daughter. The book left me turning over my own understandings of death and faith and motherhood, and reexamining them against the light of Amy and Jessica's prose. This is the best a reader can ask of any book--to find that it holds her own beliefs and experiences to the fire, tests them, and in the testing shifts, confirms, or deepens them. This is a wonderful, moving, thought-provoking book. It kept me awake until the wee hours because I was too gripped and moved to stop reading.

[Helen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I'd have liked this book more if I'd read it 40 years ago. I think we have different phases in our lives and I'm glad to have survived all that angst.

[Jennifer McMaster · Rating 1 out of 5]

I loved the idea of this book and the reviews are so glowing but I was disappointed. The writing felt very contrived and insincere. Who writes these things to a friend? The authors' goal in corresponding was to encourage one another in their Catholic faith, initially during lent. But I found the things that they wrote about to be often irreverent, even using the name of God in vain in their letters. I found it hard to identify with them and just didn't enjoy the book.

[Arci · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, the book is ok. I liked the interaction as friends, but I felt something was missing. Let alone the end of the book felt unfinished, granted I get they are letters, but the last letter just felt like there was something more.

I will say it is rare to find the type of friendship they have and something that most people never have in their lifetime. It does give me hope to find that friendship.. one day...

[Carolane · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Alone, it is easy for me to believe in emptiness, in nothing. But in the presence - they physical, surprising presence of loved ones, fellow mourners -- I can believe in the Resurrection, in that great declaration that love is more powerful than death..."

[Lee Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me by a friend and I couldn’t put it down. After I returned my friend’s copy I bought my own. I expect to reread it many times. I particularly recommend it for anyone who is experiencing grief and wondering where God is in all of their suffering.

[Allie Brown · Rating 1 out of 5]

A DNF for me. Not because the book was bad per se but discussed a lot of catholicism that I just don’t understand. I appreciate the sentiment of their letters, the evolution of their friendship and their walks with Jesus.

[Camellia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this book slowly over the course of a few months. As a letter writer, I was immediately taken into this Spiritual Friendship Shared in Letters...beautiful

[Dani Evans · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely love this book! Their letters to each other, the love between them is how God meant friendships to be!

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

An honest inside look into a spiritual friendship.

[Anna Keating · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely and relatable. One small quibble: I wish they would have written about birth. In a book of letters about friendship, death, suffering, marriage, pregnancy, motherhood, conversion, doubt, spiritual reading, etc. I kept wishing for one of their birth stories. Still, I loved reading these letters. So very real.

[Katherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Spiritual friendship is all the rage these days. As conversations about marriage and sexuality remain plagued with vitriol and divisiveness, Catholics are rediscovering a treasure of their spiritual heritage. Friendship, and by extension vulnerability and hospitality, lie at the heart of the Christian faith. To be welcomed, to be known and seen, fully received by another, is this not the promise of our Lord?

In Love & Salt, Amy and Jessica compile a collection of letters extending the course of several years. Through liturgical seasons, baptisms, conversions, marriages, and graduate degrees, these two friends shape and encourage one another along their spiritual journeys. The letters are saturated with literary, cultural, and theological references that elevate the quality of the content beyond its mere epistolary format, that admittedly made me hesitant. How many letters can two friends write each before the content becomes circuitous? However, the authors pull it off quite well, which I attribute to the fact that this book is non-fiction and reflects the daily struggles and blessings of ordinary life.

Amy and Jessica are modern day Sts. Cyrils and Methodius: friends who bear each others’ crosses and carry each others’ hearts, revealing that true friendship is not defined by feelings or leisure, but by the ability to see the incarnate Christ in one another. I finished this book with a heightened awareness of my own sin but also of my own capacity to love, wanting to be better, wanting to love better, wanting to throw myself in the arms of Mother Church who reveals the greatest friendship in the Eucharist: “The virtue of chastity blossoms in friendship. It shows the disciple how to follow and imitate him who has chosen us as his friends, who has given himself totally to us and allows us to participate in his divine estate. It is a promise of immortality” (CCC 2347). Love and Salt is a beautiful reflection on the art and blessing of friendship, and the ability to see another’s chains and not be ashamed (2 Timothy 1:16).

[Unorthodox Mama · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love and Salt: A Spiritual Friendship in Letters, is something completely surprised me. I was torn picking this one up, I love reading books based on letters or journals - however, the authors faith was not something I related to. I feared that I would end up spending more time rolling my eyes than enjoying it.

Boy, was I ever wrong.

I have become slightly obsessed with this book. It was just so, so well written. It's honest, (very honest) and at times raw. You can tell as you read that the authors are close and tell each other everything. Everything, also went into this book. It's very personal. Which made it something that I could easily relate to.

It wasn't just letters written between people. It was a book I could see some of my own struggles in.
I really appreciate being able to see the authors struggles - and see them questioning faith. That made this book for me. They didn't just blindly accept their faith.

Love and Salt is a book that transcends faith. It is a great book for those on a spiritual path and aren't sure where they are going to end up. It gives you a lot to think about.
Now, it also has an accompanying readers guide that you can download on the authors site, making it a great book group read.
It could actually be a great tool for letter writers who wish to follow the same kind of challenge but are still seeking out more of their own path.

Of course, it is also a great read for someone who just enjoys journal, or letter reading. :)

If you are only going to read one book this year that has a slight (but not over powering) religious feel to it, this is that book.

LOVE this book. Definitely a five star read.

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cried my way through the last half of this book; on finishing it, there are so many passages I want to return to, so many ideas I want to think through some more. I'm particularly enamored with the idea of surrendering to hope:

"It seems like the right word, surrender. Because hope feels like a threat sometimes, doesn't it? Just when you think that you've got the world figured out and that you've closed the door on any future goodness (wrongly thinking that a strong lock will also keep out disappointment and sadness), light starts to shine around the edges. It's almost painful to see it, because you've gotten used to its absence, and after all that pain of adjustment you don't want to see it for fear of it fading again. And so you try to stay the door, or at least I do, with fear and doubt and memories of what;s come before. What a mistake! If only we would surrender to hope, throw open the door and hold God to his promise to save us no matter what waits on the other side."

[Chrissy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the true story of Jess and Amy, two friends who write letters back and forth over a period of several years. Their letters tell the story of their struggle with faith, motherhood, grief, and navigating the daily pressures of life. Since both women are devout Catholics, many of the letters tackle their growth in Catholicism.

The depth of their relationship is truly beautiful and they are both deep thinkers. I found myself flagging pages and snapping pics of certain paragraphs with my phone so that I could revisit the ideas later. Since both women have graduate level experience in creative writing, their prose is strong. The only reason I didn't give this one five stars is because there were times when the letters seemed to drag a bit, particularly at the end of book. I skimmed through those sections, but overall I really enjoyed this.

[Martha · Rating 5 out of 5]

This true "story" is about two women who met during a class in grad school and, though living in separate states, grew a deep and wonderful spiritual friendship through letter writing. They started by committing to writing a letter a day through Lent, but though Lent came and went, the letters continued. 9 yrs from the very first letter they are close and dear friends, sharing life's ups and downs, joys and sorrows, while walking toward God together. The dialogue between these two women and the emotional vulnerability, intimacy, and spiritual growth shared in these letters is quite remarkable. It's a chronicling not only of their friendship but, most importantly, of their journey toward God, including not only their belief, but the doubt that creeps in as well.

I found the book to be very comfortable, relate-able, and thought-provoking. I highly recommend it.

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a masterpiece. It's a compilation of real letters sent between Jess & Amy, two women who, upon meeting, decided to write to each other everyday through the season of Lent. It turned into writing to each other ever after, and the ways you see their spiritual life unfold is nothing short of extraordinary. Not only are they gifted with the art of writing itself, they let us into some of the deepest, most difficult, tragic, and beautiful places of their live with an honesty that is baffling! Of course, doctrinally, I couldn't agree with everything or all their practices of faith, but very much enjoying being a reader of their journey. This book is very quotable, and I would most definitely read it again.

[Tracy · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took me a long time to read this. Like life, I found I enjoyed it most when I moved forward a little bit each day! But over time I found myself underlining in agreement with so many of their observations, and empathizing with their journey of faith. I was especially touched by the letters that spanned their pregnancies. So much of the conversation that new and expectant parents have is focused on earthly matters like nursery furniture and baby showers, that it was compelling to follow their faith journeys, their fears, joys, and sorrows, through their pregnancies.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a true WOW book for me. I love reading letters anyway, and the way these letters were compiled and written gave it a feel almost of eavesdropping on intimate conversations and faith journeys. Calling it that, though, makes it seem less monumental than it seemed while I was reading it. It's an honest, candid, and heart-wrenching examination of life and faith and life some more. I don't recommend it lightly, but I do highly, highly recommend it.

[Michaela · Rating 5 out of 5]

These women captured in their letters precisely what faith in the face of grief is. No cliches ever do justice to it. Only this searing and sincere uncertainty. Can you have faith without doubt? I could not have read this fresh from my own sorrows. But now, I love it, in light not only of grief and faith, but also the beautiful tale of friendship.

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is so beautiful and heartbreaking. I loved it, though I cried a lot and often had to put it down for days or weeks at a time. I would be cautious recommending it, however, because of its sensitive subject matter.

[Kristen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading the letter format. While I found a lot of interesting perspectives to consider, overall it was a little dark and dragging for me. If it were about a third shorter, I think I would have enjoyed it more.

[Anita]

My Mom just sent this to me. Thank you, Mom.

[Kim Messer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just couldn't get into this one and only read about half. The mix of old religious texts and observations on mundane aspects of life left me wanting

[Jeanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the honesty, doubt, friendship and faithfulness presented in this collection of letters. It took me a while to get through it because it is not a light or quick, read, but it so worth it.