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In The Shadow Of A Badge: A Memoir About Flight 93, A Field of Angels, and My Spiritual Homecoming
Former law enforcement professional Lillie Leonardi has always lived with her feet planted in two separate worlds—the metaphysical and the physical. In the Shadow of a Badge, her previously self-published spiritual memoir, takes you on a dramatic journey of what happens when Leonardi’s two very distinct realities become dangerously intertwined.
During her work at the crash site of Flight 93 in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, surrounding the fateful events of September 11th, Leonardi is forced to confront her connection to the divine—something she has struggled with since her youth. Her gripping personal account of the 12 days she spent acting as an FBI liaison between the law enforcement and social service agencies carries you into a world that combines the factual and logistical with the angelic and mystical.
After witnessing what she describes as a “field of angels” during her first minutes at the crash site, Leonardi must finally reconcile the opposing sides of her life. We walk with her through the diagnosis of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, experience the guilt and fear that grip her, and witness the remarkable transformation of her soul as she discovers that forgiveness, of self and others, can be the best remedy.
As an inspiring example of what it really means to be called to service, Leonardi shows that it’s never too late to find your spiritual path and life’s purpose.
During her work at the crash site of Flight 93 in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, surrounding the fateful events of September 11th, Leonardi is forced to confront her connection to the divine—something she has struggled with since her youth. Her gripping personal account of the 12 days she spent acting as an FBI liaison between the law enforcement and social service agencies carries you into a world that combines the factual and logistical with the angelic and mystical.
After witnessing what she describes as a “field of angels” during her first minutes at the crash site, Leonardi must finally reconcile the opposing sides of her life. We walk with her through the diagnosis of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, experience the guilt and fear that grip her, and witness the remarkable transformation of her soul as she discovers that forgiveness, of self and others, can be the best remedy.
As an inspiring example of what it really means to be called to service, Leonardi shows that it’s never too late to find your spiritual path and life’s purpose.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
192 pages, Hardcover
First published November 11, 2011
24 people are currently reading
430 people want to read
About the author
Lillie Leonardi
7 books21 followersFollowing her 25-year career of service in law enforcement, Lillie Leonardi is pursuing her lifelong passion for writing.
From 1998 to 2010, Leonardi was employed by the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), Pittsburgh Division, as its Community Outreach Specialist. Leonardi’s work and research focused on violence prevention. She also served as a training instructor under the auspices of the United States Attorney’s Office, Western District of Pennsylvania.
On September 11, 2001, immediately following the crash of Flight 93 in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, Leonardi was deployed to the crash site, where she would spend the next 12 days. During that time, she was tasked to serve as the primary liaison with law enforcement, government, and human service entities, including the United Airlines humanitarian response team. She also assisted in the coordination of the two memorial services.
Post 9/11, Leonardi represented the FBI in collaboration on three projects relating to Flight 93: with the Smithsonian Institute, with the Senator John Heinz History Center, and with the Flight 93 Oral History Project, coordinated by the Department of the Interior.
Prior to her career with the FBI, in 1984, Leonardi was appointed to serve as the first female police officer with the city of Arnold, Pennsylvania. While employed with the police department, she specialized in crime prevention and investigations of crimes against children.
From 1998 to 2010, Leonardi was employed by the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), Pittsburgh Division, as its Community Outreach Specialist. Leonardi’s work and research focused on violence prevention. She also served as a training instructor under the auspices of the United States Attorney’s Office, Western District of Pennsylvania.
On September 11, 2001, immediately following the crash of Flight 93 in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, Leonardi was deployed to the crash site, where she would spend the next 12 days. During that time, she was tasked to serve as the primary liaison with law enforcement, government, and human service entities, including the United Airlines humanitarian response team. She also assisted in the coordination of the two memorial services.
Post 9/11, Leonardi represented the FBI in collaboration on three projects relating to Flight 93: with the Smithsonian Institute, with the Senator John Heinz History Center, and with the Flight 93 Oral History Project, coordinated by the Department of the Interior.
Prior to her career with the FBI, in 1984, Leonardi was appointed to serve as the first female police officer with the city of Arnold, Pennsylvania. While employed with the police department, she specialized in crime prevention and investigations of crimes against children.
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
March 14, 2012
In The Shadow Of A Badge/A Spiritual Memoir is the first of my trilogy of three books. In it, I reflect my first-hand account of the spiritual experience encountered in my professional capacity as the Community Affairs Specialist with the FBI (Pittsburgh Division) during the initial moments at the Flight 93 crash site in Shanksville, PA on September 11, 2001.
During 9-11 and in the days that followed, I was utilized by the FBI to address representatives from law enforcement, government and social service agencies assisting with evidence recovery and preparations for two Flight 93 memorial services. Moreover, I not only served as primary liaison to the United Airlines Humanitarian Response Team, presenting at daily briefings and interacting with surviving family members, but also escorted the families to the crash site location for the Flight 93 memorial services.
Post 9-11, I was the contact representative for three other projects relating to Flight 93 presented by: Smithsonian Institute, Washington, DC; the Heinz History Museum, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; as well as the Flight 93 Oral History Project coordinated by the Department of Interior and based in Somerset, Pennsylvania.
I have been told that my words and story have provided inspiration and hope to readers who are personally relating to its message and, through my story, understanding something more about their own life's journey.
To learn more, see video footage of my recent WQED Pittsburgh (PBS) interview, read excerpts from In The Shadow Of A Badge, and learn more about my other writings, please visit http://www.LillieLeonardi.com.
During 9-11 and in the days that followed, I was utilized by the FBI to address representatives from law enforcement, government and social service agencies assisting with evidence recovery and preparations for two Flight 93 memorial services. Moreover, I not only served as primary liaison to the United Airlines Humanitarian Response Team, presenting at daily briefings and interacting with surviving family members, but also escorted the families to the crash site location for the Flight 93 memorial services.
Post 9-11, I was the contact representative for three other projects relating to Flight 93 presented by: Smithsonian Institute, Washington, DC; the Heinz History Museum, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; as well as the Flight 93 Oral History Project coordinated by the Department of Interior and based in Somerset, Pennsylvania.
I have been told that my words and story have provided inspiration and hope to readers who are personally relating to its message and, through my story, understanding something more about their own life's journey.
To learn more, see video footage of my recent WQED Pittsburgh (PBS) interview, read excerpts from In The Shadow Of A Badge, and learn more about my other writings, please visit http://www.LillieLeonardi.com.
December 10, 2013
I found this memoir to be very inspiring and healing. I resonated with the author, because I am also very spiritual. I share similar emotions with the masses of Americans in relation to the events that occurred on 9/11. The author inspires healing and encourages us to have faith in the angelic realm and universal source. She encourages us to have belief in that we are always protected. Her words are pure and shed significance on the selfless acts that took place on Flight 93. It was unique that the author was able to depict the events from the point of view as an FBI agent. This book will touch you at the core of your heart and lift your spirit; even for those recovering from a major loss. Our guardian angels are always around to protect us, share our joy, be happy, as well as wipe away our tears when we are lost and grieving. We just need to have an open mind and trust that all is in divine order. This is what I have gained from the author's touching story, and I highly recommend this book.
August 20, 2012
I really expected to love this book. I was very excited about the subject. I thought for an author with such a strong police background to address spirituality would be incredible. It isn't so far (pg.60 of 99). Her style of writing....I don't know. It was anything but clever or professional. Maybe it was just another report for her. And it was so stretched. Why say something with one sentence when you can flourish for a page or two?
This is the most I ever spent on a book. I should have read the sample.
Well, I finished it. I enjoyed pages 96-99. It's more her biography and her struggle with PTS than anything else. I truly wish this author well but absolutely do not care for this book. She may well be a great speaker but quite frankly she comes across a little crazy. And references to seeing angels at the crash site are sparse and vague. Not at all the story I thought I was getting.
This is the most I ever spent on a book. I should have read the sample.
Well, I finished it. I enjoyed pages 96-99. It's more her biography and her struggle with PTS than anything else. I truly wish this author well but absolutely do not care for this book. She may well be a great speaker but quite frankly she comes across a little crazy. And references to seeing angels at the crash site are sparse and vague. Not at all the story I thought I was getting.
July 24, 2012
The author was part of the law enforcement crew who was the Community Outreach Specialist with the FBI at the Flight 93 crash site after 9/11. She had a spiritual experience which is the main focus of the book - she saw a field of angels when she arrived at the site. This short vision is not enough to make the book a compelling read, but I applaud her for sharing it with the world.
July 4, 2012
Riveting… Emotional… and Extremely Traumatic are words forever etched in my mind that describe the emotions felt that day and resurfacing as I sit curled on my couch with Lillie Leonardi's book, "In the Shadow of a Badge: A Spiritual Memoir."
She shares her experience as a first responder to the hijacked airliner that crashed in Shankville, PA on September 11, 2001. An unimaginable and horrific event; a life altering change for all Americans and the world!
A former FBI employee that suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder, she attributes this condition to her role in the investigation of the terror attacks.
Leonardi describes her life as forever altered from that experience. The plot centers on her vision of angels at the crash site. She first describes the thick smell of fuel, burning wood and smoldering pine. She thought back to all the cases she handled as a police officer but this was far the worst. She felt many emotions standing in the field and taking in the scene. It was then that she saw the shimmer of light on her left shoulder that grew into the angels that filled the crash scene. Oddly, she did not see any of the lifeless bodies scattered in the field. She contends that her life has been changed more by what she didn't see that day.
“When I look at people, I see their souls… I witness the internal source of their being, the external of the person. I see the purity which is derived from their sprit buried within the caverns of their body and connected to their mind.”
As I read, I caught my mind drifting back to that moment in time; a vivid painful memory. The gut wrenching pain in my stomach; extreme agony deep within! Being 6 months pregnant, I grabbed my belly; protecting my unborn child. I wept as many of us did!
Leonardi’s personal account is a very touching one. Through her experience, she has become an inspiration to others as a writer and speaker. I highly recommend this memoir!
She shares her experience as a first responder to the hijacked airliner that crashed in Shankville, PA on September 11, 2001. An unimaginable and horrific event; a life altering change for all Americans and the world!
A former FBI employee that suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder, she attributes this condition to her role in the investigation of the terror attacks.
Leonardi describes her life as forever altered from that experience. The plot centers on her vision of angels at the crash site. She first describes the thick smell of fuel, burning wood and smoldering pine. She thought back to all the cases she handled as a police officer but this was far the worst. She felt many emotions standing in the field and taking in the scene. It was then that she saw the shimmer of light on her left shoulder that grew into the angels that filled the crash scene. Oddly, she did not see any of the lifeless bodies scattered in the field. She contends that her life has been changed more by what she didn't see that day.
“When I look at people, I see their souls… I witness the internal source of their being, the external of the person. I see the purity which is derived from their sprit buried within the caverns of their body and connected to their mind.”
As I read, I caught my mind drifting back to that moment in time; a vivid painful memory. The gut wrenching pain in my stomach; extreme agony deep within! Being 6 months pregnant, I grabbed my belly; protecting my unborn child. I wept as many of us did!
Leonardi’s personal account is a very touching one. Through her experience, she has become an inspiration to others as a writer and speaker. I highly recommend this memoir!
December 19, 2012
I loved this book; mostly because it is proof positive that God loves us and watches over us. I've been on an "angel pilgrimage" for almost a year now and all this happened...9/11 kept appearing to me and I didn't understand and bought a lottery ticket for 9/1/2011 thinking i'd get rich...didn't happen...then on the "Melissa and Matt Show", which are two disciples of the Word FM Organization, they posted about this book, and I knew I was on the right track. God loves us so much! The year after 9/11, I was driving to work and looked up into the sky, it was bathed in RED, WHITE and BLUE...it was so amazing I cried...I know he feels our pain and sending angels to us on that dreadful day is so touching, thank you Lillie for being our "liaison" for this spectacular account!
May 6, 2013
I had to put this book down about half-way through it. I got tired of the constant, "I remember back when..." or "There was this one time when..." or "I worked on a case about..." Those types of snippets are good but only when important to the story. The weaving back and forth from yesterday to today was uncomfortable at best. I felt lost and became uninterested because of the constant switching back and forth and a transition that was never made smoothly.
July 16, 2012
Riviting. Read it. Didn't want to post any more b.ecause of spoilers
August 9, 2016
This was a very short and quick read by a first responder on site at Shanksville. I enjoyed the spiritual aspect of the story and the emotion with which it is told. Overall, a good read!
October 3, 2024
A personal account of an FBI agent who was ordered to the Flight 93 crash site within an hour or two of the crash. She was detailed to the site as the liaison between the United Airlines team and the law enforcement teams on site. As a Christian she was empathetic but as an agent she had to keep her emotions in check. That proved too hard and impacted her for years afterword. Eventually, she was diagnosed with PTSD and successfully treated. At the crash site she had a vision of angels attending the hole in the ground that she didn't share until her spiritual struggles caused her to reevaluate and share the vision with the world as a way to help us all understand that God didn't forsake the people on Flight 93. The book is different than I expected as she explores her journey to restoration and mental health.
July 12, 2019
An important book for anyone struggling to overcome trauma, grief or trying to become themselves again. The author takes a bold look at crimes of humanity in all of its ugliness, and asks, how can we overcome and put the defeats behind us? Better yet, how can we persevere and become stronger and more enlightened than we could’ve ever dreamed? A transforming spiritual journey is chronicled here. Leonardi is one of my new heroes!
September 16, 2020
I really enjoyed this book !!!! It was very well written
September 6, 2025
Quick read. Emotional and informational.
September 10, 2025
A beautiful and moving story of humanity and spirituality against the dark backdrop of 9/11.
November 12, 2013
I want to be as fair as possible in reviewing this book, as it was a first-reads book. However, I've debated with how to review it without being too harsh, and struggled with the words. I did not like this book, but, I think that others may.
I think the most frustrating thing about this book was the lack of organization. I think that the author wanted to tell her story, but could have used someone to help her organize it a little better. As an example, each chapter jumps around from one year to another, then back five years, then forward two, then back one. Sometimes, the stories are even a little confusing, as an example, she starts one chapter with a story about how she traveled to Colorado in 2008. Then, many chapters later, she tells how she went "back to Colorado" in 2007. Things like these were so easy to spot for me, and made the storyline harder to follow.
I definitely think that this woman has an amazing story to tell. I think that her visions and the tragedy she experienced are nothing short of astounding and interesting. However, with that being said, the story itself is rather short, and could be summed up in one short chapter. At times I felt that she repeated things many times to fill chapters. For instance, in the beginning of the book, I felt as if she repeated "in my many years as a police officer" one too many times, and became extremely repetitive. The chapters became boring and off topic to what I thought I was reading about, and it was hard to finish.
I don't want to tell anyone that their story isn't worth reading, so if you think it sounds interesting, then pick it up. I've tried to be a fair judge and hopefully that shows.
I think the most frustrating thing about this book was the lack of organization. I think that the author wanted to tell her story, but could have used someone to help her organize it a little better. As an example, each chapter jumps around from one year to another, then back five years, then forward two, then back one. Sometimes, the stories are even a little confusing, as an example, she starts one chapter with a story about how she traveled to Colorado in 2008. Then, many chapters later, she tells how she went "back to Colorado" in 2007. Things like these were so easy to spot for me, and made the storyline harder to follow.
I definitely think that this woman has an amazing story to tell. I think that her visions and the tragedy she experienced are nothing short of astounding and interesting. However, with that being said, the story itself is rather short, and could be summed up in one short chapter. At times I felt that she repeated things many times to fill chapters. For instance, in the beginning of the book, I felt as if she repeated "in my many years as a police officer" one too many times, and became extremely repetitive. The chapters became boring and off topic to what I thought I was reading about, and it was hard to finish.
I don't want to tell anyone that their story isn't worth reading, so if you think it sounds interesting, then pick it up. I've tried to be a fair judge and hopefully that shows.
February 16, 2014
In reading Lillie Leonardi’s debut book, In The Shadow Of A Badge, I was able to share her journey into the pain and sorrow of the horrendous tragedy of Shanksville, Flight 93, and the effects of PTSD. While working as the Community Outreach Specialist for the FBI Pittsburg Division on that fateful September morning in 2001, the author encountered a site that most people have never experienced, and Lord willing, will never need to again. The description, of not only that field in Pennsylvania where those brave heroes gave their lives to save others, but of her experiences throughout her life were clear and thoughtfully written. I could see the smoke rise, and smell the burning trees. The shattering effects of PTSD, not only in her mental state, but in her body are all too factual. The smartest and bravest thing that Ms Leonardi did was quitting law enforcement to reconcile herself to herself. And although we definitely do not share the same belief system, “a God who bears different names between us but the same universal concept”, it has made absolutely no difference in this review-neither does the fact that I won this book in a giveaway on Goodreads. About the field of angels there is no doubt! This is a fine read and very encouraging to others who have experienced extreme trauma in their lives.
May 29, 2014
**I won a copy of this book in a Goodreads Giveaway.**
I read this last week, days after visiting the 9/11 Memorial, and perhaps that colored my reading of it. The WTC site is so raw and emotional; I stood there and wept aloud. Obviously the author understands the pain and heartache of 9/11 far better than I ever shall, since I lost no loved ones that day and was visiting NYC for the first time last week. But I felt like she wasn't *quite* able to get this across in her writing. She has a powerful story to tell and I hope she continues telling it. This book, however, didn't resonate with me as much as I thought it would. It's certainly still worth a read, though.
I read this last week, days after visiting the 9/11 Memorial, and perhaps that colored my reading of it. The WTC site is so raw and emotional; I stood there and wept aloud. Obviously the author understands the pain and heartache of 9/11 far better than I ever shall, since I lost no loved ones that day and was visiting NYC for the first time last week. But I felt like she wasn't *quite* able to get this across in her writing. She has a powerful story to tell and I hope she continues telling it. This book, however, didn't resonate with me as much as I thought it would. It's certainly still worth a read, though.
March 26, 2014
I won this in the Goodreads first reads giveaway.
This book was an interesting account from a woman who worked in the FBI on 9/11. She spent 12 days working at the site of the flight 93 crash. I documents the changes she went through trying to come to terms with the stress of working with that environment, and the comfort she found in her faith. She finally decided to tell the world about the angels she saw at the crash site.
On the downside, it felt like it could have been a 40 or 50 page short story, and was padded out with a lot of repetative comments, to make a 160 page book.
This book was an interesting account from a woman who worked in the FBI on 9/11. She spent 12 days working at the site of the flight 93 crash. I documents the changes she went through trying to come to terms with the stress of working with that environment, and the comfort she found in her faith. She finally decided to tell the world about the angels she saw at the crash site.
On the downside, it felt like it could have been a 40 or 50 page short story, and was padded out with a lot of repetative comments, to make a 160 page book.
June 7, 2016
Memoir of Lillian Leonardi's spiritual encounter at the crash site of UA Flight 93 in Shanksville, PA on 9-11-01 and the resulting PTSD that she developed while working with the FBI.
It is easy reading and the first chapters involving her experience during and after 9-11 are very interesting. But, the following chapters concerning her resulting PTSD are so abstract and the religious fervor that she uses to explain her condition and life experiences are difficult to understand.
It is easy reading and the first chapters involving her experience during and after 9-11 are very interesting. But, the following chapters concerning her resulting PTSD are so abstract and the religious fervor that she uses to explain her condition and life experiences are difficult to understand.
November 14, 2012
Not bad. Poorly written, but overall not a bad story about one woman, the 9/11 attacks, and what happened afterwards.
September 22, 2014
Interesting story.
April 1, 2017
I believe angels are among us, and I believe that Lillie Leonardi experienced a profound angelic event at Shanksville on 9/11. I would recommend that one first read the Author's Closing Note on page 163.
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews