After the Dance: My Life With Marvin Gaye

by Jan Gaye, David Ritz

A riveting cautionary tale about the ecstasy and dangers of loving Marvin Gaye, a performer passionately pursued by all—and a searing memoir of drugs, sex, and old school R&B from the wife of legendary soul icon Marvin Gaye.

After her seventeenth birthday in 1973, Janis Hunter met Marvin Gaye—the soulful prince of Motown with the seductive liquid voice whose chart-topping, socially conscious album What’s Going On made him a superstar two years earlier. Despite a seventeen-year-age difference and Marvin’s marriage to the sister of Berry Gordy, Motown’s founder, the enchanted teenager and the emotionally volatile singer began a scorching relationship.

One moment Jan was a high school student; the next she was accompanying Marvin to parties, navigating the intriguing world of 1970s-‘80s celebrity; hanging with Don Cornelius on the set of Soul Train, and helping to discover new talent like Frankie Beverly. But the burdens of fame, the chaos of dysfunctional families, and the irresistible temptations of drugs complicated their love.

Primarily silent since Marvin’s tragic death in 1984, Jan at last opens up, sharing the moving, fervently charged story of one of music history’s most fabled marriages. Unsparing in its honesty and insight, illustrated with sixteen pages of black-and-white photos, After the Dance reveals what it’s like to be in love with a creative genius who transformed popular culture and whose artistry continues to be celebrated today.

Genres: Music, Biography, Memoir, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Autobiography, Biography Memoir

304 pages, Hardcover

First published January 22, 2013

Reviews

[Nandi Crawford · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the best bios I've ever read. I have read Rick James' bio and he spoke well about Jan. I have read Marvin's bio and their take, but I haven't really heard her voice much until now. While it's refreshing,as well as candid and honest. Sadly, and to me, I found it sad that she ended it in 1984 when Marvin died and she tried to summarize the last 30 plus years of her and her children's lives to a little paragraph. Just my take on that. But let me get on the book itself. Jan didn't grow up in a conventional two parent home. Her mom was young, white and unmarried. She had Jan from a relationship with jazz musician Stu Gaillard. When she couldn't deal with raising a child, she gave her daughter to a lady who ran a shady rooming house for children and also molested her. she also went to a Catholic school where she was also molested by a nun. At home, alcohol and drugs were the norm. So by the time, she's a teen,she's really wanting something stable but not really getting it. As a kid, she was fixated to Marvin Gaye. She was a die hard fan of the man, and when she gets a chance to meet him, it's a instant attraction there, but the fact that she's barely legal here and he's not even divorced from his first wife(who ironically is seventeen years older than HE!)doesn't stop or slow things down although initially, I give Marvin his props for taking it slow with Jan. but things get heated in spite of it, and she moves in with him, gets pregnant by him, have two children with him, all the while, they both do drugs. Marvin hardly talks about his home life but as she meets his folks, she understands why. It was like two people who loved each other, but sadly because of their troubled past, their drug use, and unfinished business, they caused more pain than happiness.Let me put in my two cents here. If there was ever a cautionary tale as to how to raise your kids on the way they should go, well, this book is probably the very one you should check out.I was raised in a religious household, but how you raise them to do what is right and not right, there was some serious blurred lines and if your young and contemplating children, READ THIS BOOK(as well as others first.)Marvin was raised in an ultra religious family with a father who wouldn't work, but loved women's clothing, and sort of an embarassment to his family. Jan, on the other hand, was raised in a pretty liberal household where drugs and alcohol was readily available, and stuff went down that shouldn't have. It was like what one man said in the book. Some people want to be happy, but then they make up ways to screw it up because basically they feel that they are not entitled to be so.that is one eye opening statement. I loved it. Loved going back. Loved listening to Jan, and I hope you do a sequel as to what your doing now.

[Lynx · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life had never been easy for Jan but growing up listening to Marvin Gaye‘s sweet soulful voice on the record player came with daydreams of a promising future. So when the opportunity came to meet the man of her dreams there was no way Jan wasn’t going to seize the opportunity. She didn’t care that Marvin was still legally married or about their 17 year age difference and neither, it seems, did Marvin.

Before long the pair were inseparable and with Jan as his muse, Marvin began making the sexiest music of his career. But as their relationship progressed Jan was quickly learning that not only was Marvin tormented with deep-seated insecurities, he was also a man who believed that to create great art one must suffer. Thus began a wild roller-coaster of great highs and horrific lows that Jan found inescapable. Plagued with her own insecurities, the main one being the thought of losing the man she had so longed to be with, Jan began putting her own feelings to the side in order to please his. “I wanted to give him the children that he asked for. I wanted to let him have his flings, even if I had to bite my lip later and cry when he was away. I gave in when I probably shouldn’t have. I danced along that dangerous line of being accommodating but not giving in too much, and I was often left alone and hurting.”

Jan recounts the good times as well as the bad with honesty and without animosity. While the subject matter isn't always the easiest I still could not put the book down. The only thing I was disappointed in was the fact that Jan ends her story with Marvin's death. I'd love to read more about her life post-Gaye.

I recently discussed Jan and her relationship with Marvin on my podcast Muses and Stuff. Check out our website or look us up on iTunes to listen!

[Christina]

....I might be the only person to read this autobiography, and come out wondering about Anna Gordy... That's okay. I can live with that.

[Taylor Browne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the story of a misguided girl caught up in the world of sex, drugs, and Marvin Gaye…

While I won’t make any excuses for Marvin because he was an adult throughout their whole ordeal, I will make a few for Janis. At 17, she was a misguided girl with a warped sense of reality. Her father was pretty much a deadbeat (although he pops back up once she becomes involved with Marvin) and her mama was too busy trying to live her own life to truly give a damn.

Seeking the love she wasn’t receiving at home, she sought love in Marvin Gaye and they began a relationship that lasted over 10 years. Marvin Gaye was a deeply troubled man (dealing with his own childhood traumas) who wanted to be needed by people only to turn around and use those same needs against people to control and persuade them to act according to his rules. He was the true tale of when the manipulated (reference his marriage to Anna Gordy and ties to Motown) becomes the manipulator. The love they shared saw a lot of highs (no pun instead because they were doing every drug under the sun) and plenty of lows.

Kudos to Janis for telling her story and standing in her truth. She laid it all on the table, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

[[Name Redacted] · Rating 4 out of 5]

Before all else, I have to note that one of this book's biggest surprises is the revelation that Rick James (of all people) was actually a kind, supportive friend, capable of carrying on long platonic friendships with members of the opposite sex, and who did his best to help those around him. He even helped the author of this book get clean and stay clean after she spent most of her adult life hooked on every drug imaginable.

Meanwhile Marvin Gaye was really something of a perverse sex-and-drug-obsessed monster.

Yet the author actually wants you to love Marvin as much as she did.

Madness.

At first I kept comparing this to The Most Beautiful: My Life with Prince by Mayte Garcia, but the reality is that even the prurient provocateur that was Prince Rogers comes across as well-adjusted next to the miserable bipolar masochist that was Marvin Gaye.

Jan and Mayte start off at roughly the same place, both young women swept up into the orbit of older and brilliant artists. But the image of Prince that emerged from Mayte's book was of an eccentric but tormented man who finally did come to himself, stepping out of the cloud of guilt and fear back into sanity and decency. Marvin Gaye was a whole other kettle of manic-depressive fish. The man who sang "Sexual Healing" used sex to hurt others and himself. The man who championed love and joy also happily tormented his wives and children as much as he possibly could, both because he seemingly felt he didn't deserve peace and happiness and because it really got him off to make others suffer. And the sad part is that Jan still longed for him, sympathized with him, wished she could save him.

Growing up, Marvin Gaye was always presented as this sensuous martyr, a veritable god of music and sex who died before his time due to his crazy father's avarice. How sad! How tragic! How senseless and unexpected! Except that wasn't what happened at all. Marvin Gaye and his father were both crazy, Marvin's father had brutally beaten him as a child, and when both moved back in with Marvin's mother (whom Marvin was...uncomfortably attached to...at the time) it was only a matter of time before something horrible happened. People warned him. People begged him to get out. But Marvin wouldn't. And in the end Marvin Gaye's father did shoot Marvin...but only AFTER Marvin had savagely and brutally beaten his elderly father within an inch of his life.

All we're left with is a long, slow tragedy and the revelation of a hero who wasn't.

[Pat Brune · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book intrigued me when I noticed it at the library. I've long been a fan of Marvin Gaye's songs and oh, that voice. I was hoping this memoir would give me more insight into the reasons why Marvin's own father killed him - and it did. I understand it much more clearly now. But a part of me wishes I did not read it. Marvin has come crashing down to earth - he was just a man, a troubled one, and this is the story of a troubled relationship fraught with drug abuse, mental illness and tumultuous highs and lows. Mr. Gaye was quite the manipulator, emotional abuser, and I felt bad for Jan on so many occasions. She was fully caught up in the abuse/honeymoon cycle and seemed not to be able to escape. Janice does write candidly about it, however, and makes no excuses. Three stars for the very interesting side stories about other musicians of the time. I do wish Janice closed with a little more information about what she is doing presently. The book jacket tells us that she is living in Rhode Island; you do not learn much more than that.

[I Be Reading · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've loved Marvin Gaye since childhood and was excited to learn that his second wife, Jan, had FINALLY spilled the beans.

Unfortunately, it sort of missed the mark for me. The details about her life with Marvin were interesting, but I didn't find her story nearly as compelling as I thought it would be. I thought by this stage in her life she would have offered a lot more insight into why their relationship was so dysfunctional and what she learned from it. I don't feel that was made clear.

I also was annoyed at the end that David Ritz made sure to include in her story that he was a co-creator of the song "Sexual Healing". I don't personally think Jan Gaye gives enough of a damn about that to mention it so clearly he put it there himself. Makes me wonder what else he decided to add to the story and then it really just falls further apart for me.

Three stars. Save your money and just read the articles that come up in a Google search.

[Stanjay Daniels · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened the audiobook and I’m mad at whoever hired the narrator. She sounded like Siri reading this entire book. While I liked to learn a little bit more about Marvin’s career, this book grated my nerves. First of all, I feel like I need to call CPS right now because of the foolishness Marvin was up to in his personal life. Everything from dating an underage girl and the drama he exposed his children to. I found that Jan just seemed so incredibly naive and made me question her intentions from the beginning. She just isn’t likeable to me and I felt the same about Marvin after reading this book. I like his music a lot but behind the scenes, he didn’t seem like my cup of tea.

[Mom · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't follow my instincts and apply the 50 page rule and I'm very sorry for making that mistake. This was a huge mistake. My recommendation? Don't read.

[Jackie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall, the story was good. We’re able to get a look at the tortured soul of Marvin Gaye as well as his relationship with everyone around him from his ex-wife’s perspective. I learned a lot of things I didn’t know about his demons, however, the narration of the audiobook was hard to get through at times.

[Courtney Reads Stuff · Rating 4 out of 5]

Whoa! This book was a page turner in every sense of the word. It was, however, exhausting towards the end. It doesn't take away from the totality of the book. It still remains an interesting read, but I guess that I am saying that Marvin Gaye, himself, in the later years of his life was a troubled man down to the core. I knew the general stuff about Marvin's life, how he died, the music that he made, but this book is different.

It puts you right there in the midst of (most of) the songs that have come to define Marvin Gaye. You feel like you are right there, first hand, seeing some of his inspiration to his greatest work unraveled. Unfortunately, you also see the unraveling of Marvin Gaye, the man, away from the spotlight. If you have put Marvin Gaye upon a pedestal that you don't want to take him off of I can assure of this: "After the Dance" is not a book for you. Continue to listen to his music alone, and be happy with that. If, however, you are interested in what inspired him as well as all the other things that were happening in the midst building, tearing down and rebuilding this power house career, you will be quite engaged by what Jan Gaye has remembered and shared.

[Che · Rating 2 out of 5]

Allow me to summarize this book:
Seventeen year old, Jan was the side chick to Marvin Gaye. They do A LOT of drugs. He divorces his current wife, Berry Gordy's sister. Marvin and Jan stay high, eventually marry. Add sex, more drugs, a few kids and mental/physical abuse. And there you have how I spent the time I wish I could get back.

[Maya B · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very interesting and detailed book. Jan gaye was a naive girl in love with a much older man. It was nice to read about marvin gaye's personal life. Glad I read it and I would recommend to others

[Shanelle Holt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel that this was a truly tragic ;ove affair between paranoia, drugs, sex, and childhood haunts.. It was a book I could not put down I was so captivated.. I wonder if the tragedy did not occur what would have come of Marvin Gaye?? Who knows..

[LeeTravelGoddess · Rating 4 out of 5]

cocaine is a helluva drug.

[NON · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a story of a fan-girl that married her idol. However, this is not a fairy-tale. Far from it. Janis is the daughter of the blues musician Slim Gaillard who her mother also chased and dreamed of marrying. Ever since she was a young girl, Marvin's voice soothed her troubled upbringing. She lived a foster home with the woman who ran the place, Ruth Williams, known to the children as Mama Ruth, and she answered to no one. Janis had a real mother but her mother, Barbara, didn't want take responsibility of her only daughter so she left her in the hands of Ruth who used physical abuse to discipline the children. Mama Ruth was the primary caretaker of Janis from ages fourteen months to fourteen years. Janis considered Ruth as both her guardian and tormentor.

“Mom knew that she could no longer force me to remain at a residence I so deeply loathed. She could no longer ignore my protests. She knew that Mama Ruth’s house had caused grave emotional problems for me. She also knew that the Catholic school to which Mama Ruth had sent me employed a nun who had abused the students sexually. Craig McKay and I were among those students. At fourteen, I’d had enough abuse to last a lifetime. ‘I’m coming to live with you,’ I told Mom, ‘and that’s it.’ This was also the moment when the names changed. I had already changed my name to Janis Hunter. I wanted to have the name of Earl Hunter, the man my mom had married and the warm and loving soul whom I adored.”

That's when Janis entered her real mother's world of irresponsibility, marijuana and even cocaine. She was exposed to all of that. Like her mother, she yearned to meet her idol Marvin Gaye and to enter his world–just like her mother entered the world of Slim Gaillard.

Janis met her idol after she turned 16 and it took them a year till they've became a couple and they've became drug-buddies, too. Jan was consumed by Marvin's behavior and soon she became just like him.

"If there was cruelty, the cruelty was camouflaged in Marvin’s peculiar mixture of slyness and charm."

Everything turned upside down when the two got married and Marvin started then to manipulate everything and play on Jan's insecurities–just like she played on his.

"But the fighting went on. The battle zone was toxic. It was not only awash with literal toxins like highly potent pot and coke, it was where Marvin felt most powerful. It was where he operated. In the battle zone, he was a master manipulator."

The book overall is an interesting psychological study. Both of them dealt with almost the same demons and both of them caused the other more harm than good. A dysfunctional couple.

Jan's personality is unremarkable–other than her finally kicking her drug addiction–she depended on her physical beauty to get on with her life. A groupie-like behavior to get & keep the star, even after they left each other she still depended on her sexuality to get drugs and money. It took her a long time to stand up and even then it makes you wonder if she wrote this story because she is in need for money...perhaps perhaps.

My main purpose of reading this book was to know more about Marvin's father and know what Jan had to reveal about his cross-dressing and nature. She did reveal good deal of information regarding this and other aspects as well. If you seek to understand Marvin's demons then this memoir indeed is the one, Jan shared an intimate look into Marvin's mind and soul. Jan spared no detail and was as sincere as she could be. However, put in mind that this is her truth of what happened but is not the entire truth–her perspective.

John McClain described her journey with Marvin as a “cautionary tale.” And I couldn't agree more.

All in all, this memoir is intriguing and profound. A great insight into Marvin's complex personality. The only thing missing was a bit of information of her life after Marvin's murder.

Note that there are immense sexual stories, explicit language, violence and drugs.

[HeyYallItsMei · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bobby and Whitney before there was a Bobby and Whitney

This book got a 5 star rating from me because it was written very well. But this relationship was so toxic, so all consuming, so draining and chaotic it's unbelievable. As beautiful as his songs were, the ones that spoke of peace and love Marvin thrived off of chaos. It was like a slow torture. And he didn't mind torturing himself in the process. He was a very conflicted man. He was shy but loved and constantly sought attention from others, he hated working and lacked motivation yet he was always in the studio recording, he was a frivolous, impulsive spender who hated to work and make money lol. Although Jan didn't outright say it he seemed extremely jealous of other artist. He was extremely insecure even though he feigned confidence. They were high from the start of their relationship until the end. Honestly he seemed bi-polar or in the 70s and 80s they probably would've said he was manic depressive and the drugs only made it worse and heightened his paranoia. He also was one who liked to cause storms. He would push Jan into situations that she didn't want to be in. Only for her to figure how his mind worked after a while then do exactly what he accused her of doing just to spite him in her own way. And yes it'll probably be easy for some to say "how could he coerce her into the thing's she did? She did them willingly." She was definitely coerced because she was high, she was 17 and he was a 34 year old married man with a child and he drilled in her head how the reason his and Anna's relationship didn't work was because she was too "domineering, controlling and mother-like" and he preferred a more demure, meek, submissive woman. And she really tried to be that for a while. He liked to play mind games with her emotions. Give her love then take it back. Show her affection and attention then deprive her of it. He was a master manipulator. The only person who seemed to have him pegged was his brother Frankie. But then it got bad and they went from having a rollercoaster relationship to a hamster wheel relationship. It just kept going in circles and they couldn't get off no matter how sick it made them. They were both two broken people who didn't need to be in relationships with anyone other than God. They just couldn't seem to get over their failures. Life had failed them both. Their parents failed them and ultimately they failed each other. I started this book and a few pages in I was disgusted with him and his attraction to young girls. I was disgusted with the things Jan was doing at 14, 15, 16 and 17. I was even more disgusted that her mom let her do it. And I finished this book still disgusted but with a better understanding of both of their traumas that drew their dysfunction to each other like a moth to a flame. He liked causing confusion and chaos and creating a challenge because it was the "Berry way" it was the "Motown way" and she honestly didn't feel like she deserved any better because she'd loved him since she was 8 years old and saw him on tv. She thought he was a prize and shrunk herself and her dreams in order to help him fulfill his. This is a sad, cautionary tale of sex, love, soul, rhythm, blues, drugs, SEX, chaos, SEX, drugs and did I mention SEX!!!! Y'all really out here muting R. Kelly but he was R. Kelly in the 70s #MuteMarvinGaye because all the songs y'all liked from 1973-1983 were about a little girl.

[Raven · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a wild and peculiar memoir, that was surprisingly enjoyable to read. It feels very apparent that Jan Gaye is telling this story from a place of compassionate honesty. It's a tricky thing to balance knowing that all people are simply just people no matter how brilliant their art and to consume their art or even be shaped by it knowing that they have done awful things.

Jan and Marvin met and immediately began a sexual relationship when Jan was 17 and Marvin was 34. I cannot see that as anything but inappropriate and weird. Yet, Marvin and Anna Gordy began their relationship when he was 20 and she was 37. He was grown, but there is a certain power dynamic that allows for a lot of manipulation when someone that much older (and more experienced, more glamorous) takes up with someone so young. Both of his relationships with their seventeen year age gaps made me uncomfortable and sad.

So much of this memoir is about Jan making herself smaller for Marvin and trying her hardest to keep hold of him (in so many ways this reads like a cautionary tale with two morals: one, you cannot possess people; two, obsession/escapism and love are not the same thing). So much of it is about the internal tension between him as a shy, sensitive, artsy type and him as a manipulative man struggling with depression, addiction, and past traumas. I feel sad for Jan that the people who were supposed to be most supportive of her loved her in the most ass-backwards way. I feel sad for Marvin too for many reasons, while still holding him accountable for all of his misdoings.

This was an exhausting and thrilling book to read. Exhausting because of the tumult, the trauma, the creepiness of some of the things that went down. Thrilling because so much of it took place in the '70's. Also sometimes funny because 1970's lingo is just innately silly-sounding (there is a whole paragraph in the book about the phrase freaky deaky).

The morning after I finished this, I queued up my morning commute playlist for the drive to work. The first two songs that played were "What's Going On?" by Marvin Gaye, followed by "Do You ..." by Miguel. And in the grand scheme of Marvin and Jan's relationship, that's accurate.

[Nattie · Rating 2 out of 5]

There wasn't anything wrong with the book, but there was certainly a lot wrong with the people in it. Some of what I read has tainted my image of Marvin Gaye. I must say I don't actually go around thinking about Marvin Gaye, but I'm familiar with a lot of his music and am a fan of Distant Lover and some of his work with Tammi Terrell.

I didn't know that Marvin Gaye had a relationship with a sixteen/seventeen-year-old girl named Janis/Jan, whom he had children with while she was still a teenager. That fact made him seem pervy to me, of course his wife at that time was eighteen years older than him!

Jan's upbringing also put me off. Her father was a musician and her mother was apparently a functioning drug addict, the two placed her in an unofficial foster home from age 1-14 but they still remained a part of her life.

Jan suffered abuse in the foster home, both physical and what sounded like some form of sexual abuse. Her foster mother was supposedly very fond of her though, because of her mixed-race appearance. It came across that Jan was also very fond of her own mixed-race appearance. She never came right out and said that, but there were a number of times she mentioned her long curly hair and freckled fair skin. You can see in the photos that Jan was quite lovely, but her beauty always seemed to be tied in with the hair and complexion.

Jan and her mother frequently did drugs together, in their skewed world that was normal behavior. In one chapter her mother was proud when grown men watched her daughter with a certain glint in their eyes, she even beamed when Jan ripped off her bikini top and swam topless in front of the men.

As the story plays out things go from dismal to disastrous. Jan's relationship with Marvin sucked, and quite frankly Marvin and Jan both came off as sucking at life in general for a long period of time.

[Selena Haskins · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very honest and detailed story about the legendary Marvin Gaye from the perspective of his widow, Jan Gaye. From the very beginning you can see how Jan was a naive teenager who fell in love with a superstar. The story reminded me a lot of Elvis & Me, and how Elvis had a thing for young girls too. Hence, a fourteen year old, Priscilla, whom he later married.
Jan was only 17 when she met Marvin. It comes as no surprise that their age difference took on a father-figure relationship, and Jan succumbs to his every whim. Jan shares many things that I suspected about Marvin from what I'd read in the media after his death. He was not only a talented man who was kind and very generous, but was insecure, manipulative, and a "stubborn kind of fellow." Through the good and the bad, Jan rides the waves with Marvin. After all, what teenage girl during the 70's wouldn't flock to the brilliant soul singer? Unfortunately, in the big picture of things, poor Jan was a crutch for Marvin's ego. She was a fan who would do anything to win her prize. I'm not quite convinced that it was love like Jan insists, at least not from the start. I believe it was years of infatuation, and then perhaps love. Even though Jan eventually starts to learn who she really is and what she wanted out of life, it came a little too late. I think her viewpoint on what real love is still stuck in the past and lies within the stars.
There are a few surprises in this book as far as celebrity things that happen, and it’s a small world where many stars know each other. Even though I could pretty much predict the storyline, it was very entertaining.

#booksbyselena #bookreviews
www.booksbyselena.com

[Cathy Branciforte · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this memoir written by Marvin Gaye's second wife, Jan. As a long time fan of Marvin Gaye's, who grew up listening to (and loving) his music, I never really knew much about his personal life. Well, this was a real eye opener and a deep look at the man and his relationships with his wife Jan, their children, and a fairly large cast of famous and not-so-famous people. Their relationship was loving, yet volatile and definitely drug-filled. I won't rehash the story, but I will say that if you are more than an occasional fan of Marvin Gaye's you would enjoy this book. I always enjoy reading a celebrity memoir and reading about their "rich and famous" lives (although in parts of this, he was not rich at all, having spent his all of his money). It was a very sad and unfortunate end to such a talented man, gone way too soon.
Thank you to Goodreads for the First Reads Giveaway! I was so happy to win it!

[Janet · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book gave you an inside look into the life of a genius. I was uncomfortable with many things that I read. Absent a journal I don't know how anything was remembered with the consistent amount of drugs consumed. Such a sad way to (have) live.

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could not put this book down for two days

[Tiffany Spencer]

After The Dance
I just thought this was SAAAAAAD! I won’t judge this lady to harshly. It would be easy to say she should have done this or that or why didn’t she do this or that. From a teenage perspective I can see where if you had the chance to hang out in the studio with a singer that you had a huge crush on how you’d JUMP ALL OVER IT! That is EXTREMEMLY RARE! That not only that if the singer said they wanted to take you out on a date. Then not long into knowing them they told you they wanted you to live with them and then they told you they wanted to run away to some place where it was just you and the,. I can see so many females fantasizing about that (and not just young ones). Particularly if you aren’t happy with your own life for whatever reason. So many dream of a “Savior”. A long time ago even I was guilty of this. I wanted the “White Kinght” fantasy.

However, what I foud extremely sad was that this lady had no other aspirations in life but to make this man happy. She only ever thought the only thing her worth came from her body -and this was before she even meet him-.No woman should feel like the on ly thing she has going for her is a big set of breast. Clearly she had a little talent. She ang on “Got to Give It Up” well enough for him to say she could sing. She was also more than willing to sing the duets with him in concert (if he’d given her a chance). So, maybe she had aspirations but she just didn’t emphasis them here. I got the slight feeling she wanted to sing even though she never came out and said it.

No, I won’t criticize this lady. I truly felt sorry for her because I have seen PERSONLLY with my own eyes the EXTREME DAMAGE low self esteem can have on a person. But who I DO blame is the mother and Marvin Gaye himself. Let’s just start with her mother. First of all, there is no way in HELL that if I found out that my daughter was being kept with people that abused her and gave her “examinations” I would KEEP sending her to these people. I will blame this on the drugs this woman took because CEARLY something isn’t right in your brain if you know this is happening. I don’t even have a daughter but lately I’ve thought about the things I’d do differently if I had one and I just could NOT see this.

The next thing she does is smile encouragingly while her daughter takes her top off in a room full of strange men and “her friend”. Was she trying to pimp her daughter out to these men for money to support her habbit and for that matter to let her daughter go to the studio to meet up with this man. Weirdly to me was the fact that she lets her go to the study to be alone with him but then says “Now don’t forget he’s married.” I MEAN… If that’s not a mixed message I don’t know what is. Then even though she KNOWS this man is married she’ll still not only let her DATE him, but weeks later MOVE IN with him. NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IN MY HOUSE! She gives a half ass warning that she knows what it’s like to be with a entertainer BUT she doesn’t do anything to stop it and say NO WAY IN HELL are you gonna move in with this man you’ve only known a couple of weeks. Your gonna finish school. After that what you do is on you.

Much later she does tell her to leave when he gets abusive but that’s the only thing, I can see she did that would be any credit to her. Now let’s get to Marvin Gaye himself. While I’m not a stranger to Marvin Gaye’s music -and yes, I do admit he did his thang musically- because he wasn’t in my era I just always saw him as old. Therefore, it was kind of hard for me “See it” I certainly wouldn’t have picked Marvin Gaye to have a crush on at seventeen. But then some woman have a thing for older men Then when I read he was THIRTY THREE and she was SEVENTEEN. Sometimes when I hear about old celebrities (male) that prey on young girls, I often wonder because as you can see when reading this story Marvin Gaye didn’t have a lack of female admirers HIS OWN AGE.So what makes them turn to CHILDREN. A woman HIS AGE could have provided all the things For instance, she talked about oral and sex. Surely, he could have gotten a ton of other woman to do that for him. She helped design his clothes. Ok not everyone has that skill but I feel like another woman HIS AGE could have “gotten him” in the same way to know his taste. I wondered how she had the outfits made so quickly. If this was her connections or his. Another woman HIS AGE surely could have also been “his muse” and gotten high with him. They also say you love who you love but…..

So, then he got this CHILD. Didn’t want her to get educated because he was JEALOUS of her association with high school boys. REALLY? And you’re a big time ENTERTAINER!? You didn’t want this woman for anything but to get high and sleep with which showed because after she had one baby for you -you immediately told her you’d fallen out of love with her-. Then again not long after. So in other words she was just a “Play Thing” to amuse you until you got bored.

So many times, in the story mind games and manipulation were used to make her think that he didn’t want her so he’d sent her to other men to see if she’d get caught cheating. I was thinking Whaaa… You had Marvin Gaye, Frankie Beverly, AND Rick James. But you know what the book *didn’t* say. While he was accusing *her* of being with all these men (before she even was) it neglected to leave out the women *HE* was probably with. It mentioned one in Paris but you can not make me believe that this was the *only* one.

Nor do I believe that the knife incident the only time he physically abused her. Don’t get me wrong this story goes further than we mostly get but it “conveniently” leaves that out too. I was talking to my aunt about this book and telling her about some of it, and she was the one that told me “But did you know he was physically abusive to her too?” I actually am surfside this was left out because she half way attempted to go there so why not go there fully. *If* that’s the kind of book your gonna write. Possibly the point was not to speak ill of the dead but then why write the book at all if your going to call it “My Life With Marvin Gaye”. (the good, the bad, and the ugly).

Basically, what I think is I should just stick to listening to these people’s music, because the more I hear about their real lives (some of them) the more disgusted I become with the people they were. I can’t even drum up enough empathy in my body to feel bad for the way this man’s life ended. Because it felt to me like KARMA. This young woman dedicated her WHOLE LIFE to making sure yours was easier than the one you had with your ex wife and you couldn’t even let her sing a few songs with you on stage at your concert or even let her sing on a track on your almbum. A DAMN SHAME!

I was lead to this book because I remember Marvin Gaye’s daughter (Nona Gaye). She had one song called “Overjoyed” and I wondered what happened and had she put out any more than I hadn’t heard about. It was an interesting read but it definitely wasn’t a feel good one. It gave me a mixture of PITY, DISBELIEF, and just flat-out DISGUST.

Rating: I'm not even sure what to give this one. It went a little deeper than books like this usually do. She gave an honest account of her relationship with him (tho I felt like there was more). So I'll give it a 7 and a half.

[Stewart Cotterill · Rating 4 out of 5]

They say that you should never meet your heroes and after reading this book, perhaps you should never read about their lives either.

It’s a story of ever increasing drug use to the point where the paranoia brought on by crack cocaine caused Marvin Gaye to entrust someone with a gun who never had Marvin’s best interests at heart.

Drug use killed yet another star.

[Traci · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved how this story was told through the memories of Janis Gaye! An all too real story of infatuation, fame, manifestation, love, drugs,money & sex. The internal and external battles that Marvin and Janis faced just broke my heart! Definitely worth reading!

[Dee Dee G · Rating 5 out of 5]

My goodness their relationship was extremely toxic. I hope they have the peace that didn’t have in life.

[Shayne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I purchased this book over a year ago and finally decided to read it and I'm glad that I did. Marvin was a talented guy but it seems he was battling a multitude of demons, depression & paranoia being a couple of them. I truly enjoyed this story, much of it I really didn't expect but with the age difference between he and Jan, I suppose I should have seen it coming. Marvin Gaye has always been one of my all time favorite old school singers, I never would've imagined his life being in so much turmoil. I hope that wherever Marvin is at now, he has the peace he never seemed to have on this planet.

[Barbara · Rating 1 out of 5]

I should have known this was one of those "trash the celebrity 'cause they can't defend themselves" books. This woman says she met Marvin Gaye when she was still in high school, started a torrid affair with him, and eventually married him. If I were not so crazy about Marvin Gaye's music, I wouldn't have bothered. She portrays herself as beautiful, large-breasted, and sexually proficient, and MG as a habitual pot smoker (which he may have been - who knows)and a sweet-talking womanizer especially of young girls. I don't recommend it, unless you like lurid accounts of celebrity excesses.

[Travious Mitchell · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a book! It captures the highs and lows of the personal life of one of the greatest to ever do it—at least in my humble opinion—and the complex, at times convoluted, relationships he had.

The star of the book is, of course, Jan. Unfortunately, her life is defined by the failures of the adults around her.

I learned quite a bit about both of them and appreciated the unique perspective on his life. The cameos featured were also a great touch. Many lessons can be taken from this story, but overall, it’s an incredibly enjoyable read!