Badass: Ultimate Deathmatch: Skull-Crushing True Stories of the Most Hardcore Duels, Showdowns, Fistfights, Last Stands, Suicide Charges, and Military Engagements of All Time – Illustrated Collection

by Ben Thompson

From the Ben Thompson, author of The Birth of a Legend , comes a collection of history’s most awe-inspiring duels and showdowns, brutal crusades and epic brawls, and profiles of the fascinating people who fought in them. From Caliphs to Green Berets, some of civilization’s toughest warriors are profiled in Ultimate Deathmatch , including Cyrus the Great, St. Moses the Black, and The Rani of Jhansi, as well as in-depth analyses of how they battled their way to victory. Featuring original artworks by top graphic artists and comic book illustrators, and Ben Thompson’s signature wry, side-splitting commentary, Ultimate Deathmatch is the history of badasses, the only way it should be covered in blood!

Genres: History, Nonfiction, Humor, Military History, Short Stories, War

528 pages, Paperback

First published February 15, 2013

About the author

I write stuff about badasses.

Reviews

[Phillip Fuller · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ben Thompson is a historian who uses the language of mixed martial art, movie tough guys, and video gamers to tell stories of those who faced death in mortal combat. The people in these stories are awesome in his eyes because they fought against impossible odds to defeat their foes. I found the book to be exciting but felt guilty for enjoying it. The better angel of my nature did not see what is so honorable about killing other humans and making war glorious. There is nothing here about PTSD, survivor's quilt, and the misery of civilians. The lover of action will love this book but an advocate of nonviolence will consider this book trash.

[Adam Mace · Rating 2 out of 5]

I understand now that Ben Thompson's books are probably meant to be read by angsty 14-year-olds who think that using constant hyperbole, crude language, and all kinds of body anatomy references for ways to kill people makes anything awesome and worth reading hundreds of pages of.

Now I probably sound like some kind of uptight prude talking like that. But the level of immaturity in the presentation of these amazing stories in history kind of ruins the whole thing for anyone above middle school age. In addition, it all comes across as in rather poor taste given the number of deaths often attributed to some of these events, and how killing massive numbers of people keeps being shown as always a good thing, etc. It seems like reverence for the importance of the event in that way.

And that is a shame. Because he clearly knows his stuff and is a real enthusiast for not only military history but also great stories of human accomplishment and overcoming impossible odds. And there are a lot of amazing stories like that in this book I wish more people knew.

So I will give him credit for the good research, and the excellent variety of eras and people he covers. There is not any kind of inherent attempt to show a particular faction, culture, etc. as superior or anything of that sort, and I do appreciate the efforts to show incredible people from all parts of the world, etc.

I just wish it wasn't ruined by the extremely (seriously, way too far) immature manner in which it is all presented, that at least for me, really did not work at all.

[Miroku Nemeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though there are inaccuracies and the writing style sometimes gets very annoying (and it is also sometimes very humorous as well), it is a great review of history, and I like the format. Thompson may not be a "proper" scholar, but he does an excellent job of making a large amount of history accessible. For a casual read, I have learned a lot, even if aspects of the author's writing style walk the fine line between playful and funny and sophomoric, idiotic locker room humor (it honestly alternates between witty and witless, but I understand that Thompson has adopted a voice that has succeeded in making both his blog and books popular, so I can't really say that the rhetorical style he has adopted reaches the core of his being, etc.). It is a cool selection of warriors and battles throughout history, and I could write a critique of it from a serious cultural/historically factual/non-factual base, but that misses the point. Reading this text will help you to learn some history, give you a few laughs, and remember some great warriors and conflicts over the last 3,000 or so bloody odd years. And he does a pretty good job of being politically correct and sensitive to not creating hatred against anyone while also sounding politically incorrect and insensitive as well. I think I will have to bump this up from 3 stars (liked), to 4 stars (really liked).

[Chanse · Rating 2 out of 5]

A bit too 'bro' for my linking. I likely should have been ready for that, but I picked it up being optimistic. Not bad history in here; bit presented in what becomes a very tired and annoying way by the end of the book.

[R. · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've read all of Thompson's other books and used to be an avid reader and follower of his old blog, "Badass of the Week." That said, I think there's a combination of things occurring here.

1) My tastes are changing as I get older. This book and this style of writing comedic history does not appeal to me as much anymore.

2) Thompson has dug as deep as he can into the well of creativity and at this point, the surface level historical stuff about people all starts to sound the same. The details are what make people fascinating and he is barely scratching the surface.

If you're a fan of his other work I'd check this out. But, if it's been a while since you read his stuff maybe pull one of his other books off the shelf and test it out first with an article before you invest in this other one.

[Greg Schloesser · Rating 3 out of 5]

Being a history buff, I am drawn to anything that dives into famous battles or incidents in history. I particulary enjoy reading about periods / incidents of which I am not terribly familiar. So, this book caught my attention.

I knew there would be some light-hearted moments and perhaps some irreverence, but I was not expecting the over-the-top and persistent use of slang and vulgarities. While I must admit that some of this was laught-out-loud funny, it grew old. Clearly, the author is a historian and quite knowledeable; he also has a great sense of humor. However, the irreverent schtick became too much and it often appeared the author was straining to toss-in another humourous line or comparison. Ultimatley, it actually detracted from the historical incidents and stories he was relating, which is a shame.

[Bob Cantrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some pretty tough people

This book was very interesting reading. Although violence is not the answer sometimes you just have to kick some rump. The people in this book are examples of how when push comes to shove you don't know what happens. I hope that some of these events were not just imaginary stories, because they were so good. The way the author writes about these events is with a little humor thrown into them. They may sound like they were made up, but I am guessing they are all real. Some of them you have heard of before and some you haven't, but still they make for good reading.

[Andrew · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is pretty much what happens when a nerd tries to reinvent himself as a Fratboy in college but is still getting a history degree.

How I ever ended up purchasing this at some point in my life is beyond me but this was an all time eyeroller.

Some offensive language and A LOT of references to balls.

If you want to relive your college days at bad parties with dudes who are trying WAY TOO HARD....then this book is for you.

I only begrudgingly give it two stars because there were a few stories in which I actually learned things.

[Norgri · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are some really interesting characters profiled in this book, so I'd say it is worth reading if you are looking for over-the-top stories about acts of violence. I found the author's voice to be a bit cartoonish, but the title made it perfectly clear that this was not going to be scholarly tome. I'd recommend it if you are looking for a goofy, fun read. Definitely a guilty pleasure.

[Jesse · Rating 5 out of 5]

More of the same from Ben Thompson; if you liked Badass and Badass: Birth of a Legend, you'll probably like this one too.

It's historically accurate accounts of real battles using colorful language and pop-culture references to make it accessible, entertaining, and culturally relevant. Probably not for *everyone* but I enjoyed it thoroughly and look forward to more from Thompson in the future.

[Martin Milush · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a badass compilation of Badasses!

The reader will find it difficult to put this book down! Being both humorous and serious regarding the topic, you will discover that there has always been and always will be heroic Harasses around to save OUR asses!

[Kawee · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good book , if the writer doesn’t write something annoying

[Lally]

tbh this book slaps and its funny

[Romy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dropped this half way through. The scrotum jokes got a bit old and excessively used.

[Stacy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book started out funny and light, with a good balance of humor and information. Eventually, the jokes got repetitive and the stories got shorter.

[jj Grilliette · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed it. There is language in it.

[Steve]

I want my money and my time back. Terrible!!!

[Patrick Trent · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book contains stories of bravery and heroism down through the ages.

[Mary Good]

DNF. Got tired of all the death. Interesting history that I didn’t know.

[Darin Beiler · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a fun take on battles and matches from history. It got a little bit much at times though. Sometimes the amount of descriptive adjectives makes you roll your eyes. Was ultimately fun though

[Heather]

Nice talk about tactics.

[Eric Moote · Rating 5 out of 5]

Overall: It's all in the title: badass! If you are a man who doesn't like to read, likes history and goes to the bathroom regularly, READ THIS BOOK. If you are a man who likes to read, READ THIS BOOK.

Ben Thompson's style of recounting history's best battles with such over the top descriptions of historical actions which may or may not have occurred as badass as Stallone arm-wrestling with the switched flipped. The tales of past heroes and heroines makes the picture show in the mind so intense that it turns the eyes inside-out and brain ooze out of the ears having turned to vanilla pudding.

That is about as close as I can get to his unique, "ball"-ridden, hyperbolized weavings of history. Although true to the events, the way in which the heroics are recounted make you keep reading. He has a talent and thick thesaurus full of names for testicles.

This book may not have been intended to be a Bathroom Reader, but it functions perfectly as one. It has short stories, all captivating, all hilarious, all full of trivia and knowledge.

The book recounts history's best Deathmatches between two forces seemingly unbeatable (or at least one side appears unbeatable). "Badass" covers many time periods evenly and he doesn't seem to favor any one side (winning or losing).

I would recommend this book to: men who don't like to read, women who want to help their man read something "worthwhile" (aka a history book!), history buffs needing a break from the dry recountments of battles, and men in general.

[Ted Henkle · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you dislike pulp/comic book style prose, over-the-top anachronistic descriptions and constant references to causing injury to male genitalia, then "Badass: Ultimate Deathmatch..." is not for you.

This mass-mayhem version follows the same template as the first "Badass" book I reviewed, but involves includes everything from lone stands by solitary heroes (or villains, depending on your point of view) to major battles and all-out wars. (I skipped over book #2, "Badass: The Birth of a Legend, about gods and myths").

The common theme in all these tales is that the heroes are outnumbered, but decide to fight rather than choose discretion-is-the-better-part-of-valor option. Not every badass lived to a ripe old age, but they earned everlasting renown for their exploits.

While highly entertaining, "Badass: Ultimate Deathmatch..." suffers from over-generalizations to outright inaccuracies. Despite this shortcoming, I still learned about obscure battles and badasses throughout history and even within my lifetime.

"Badass: Ultimate Deathmatch..." enjoys a 4.2-star rating on Amazon.com. Out of nearly 200 readers, 27 thought the book sucked (1-2 stars), 13 thought it was okay (3-stars), 24--including me--thought it was good (4-stars), while a whopping 132 felt it was badass awesome (5-stars).

I'd consider "Badass: Ultimate Deathmatch..." awesome too, if the outright inaccuracies were minimized.

The website, "Badass of the Week" can still be found on-line.

[Elliotte Bagg · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I was in high school reading this, I probably would give it a five star, it is clearly written to take some incredible moments in history, and make them more accessible with lots of colorful metaphors, pop culture references, and repeatedly describing the immensity of the testicles of the heroes in these stories. Some of it is chuckle worthy, but a lot of it just gets in the way of telling the actual events, the facts of these stories are ultimately more badass than whatever witty commentary the author added. He'd be describing a historical figure slashing his or her way through overwhelming odds, then bring the pacing to a standstill with some joke that takes you out of the moment!

That's my ultimate gripe in what is otherwise a very impressive collection of bravery, heroism and near-superhuman feats performed in battles throughout the world and human history. It has given me a couple dozen figures and conflicts that I want to dive into books specifically about each, the stories were that intriguing that I want to know more about them.

Think of it as a nice primer of if you're into history and wanting to be pointed in the direction of some incredible periods worth checking out!

[Brian Finger · Rating 4 out of 5]

The short way to describe this book is historical embellishment. The book does talk about real historical battles and tactics that were used throughout history which I think is cool but the author does put in things that are not factual like a warrior yelling to his dog in battle which we can not know is true because historical evidence can't trace those things. The authors vocabulary is an interesting blend of very good vocabulary and other stuff which is on the edge of potty language. The book has no main plot because it is broken up into many little stories and each little story is about a battle or a person throughout history starting in the times of the Greeks and going all the way to modern times. Some of the stories are more fictional then others, but all are amazing stories of valor and impossible odds sure to keep you entertained for hours. The reason this book is not a five star is that the language and style of the book is not for everyone and thus I would not recommend it to everyone. Also the language in my opinion is just a slight bit repetitive. I understand the repetitiveness is part of the effect but I feel like it is too much some times.

[Jim Bilbro · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first I was a bit put off by the incessant testicle-smashing metaphors,however, once I relaxed about the *very* informal style of the writing, I've found this to be a very entertaining and informative selection of historical vignettes. Not only that, but I can see this book taking its place as a reference on my permanent shelf for whenever I am in need of badass quotes from famous figures in history or illustrative tales of mayhem and/or military folly. This book is most definitely *not* meant for those who object to the use of 'eye-gougingly' as an adverb or 'dickpunch' as a synonym for any violent act of retribution. On a more serious note, the sexualization of violence that is so well illustrated in this book is, in my opinion, an awful trope to perpetuate and serves only to reinforce (a) stereotypes that some women have about men and (b) stereotypes that we men all too frequently trap ourselves in. Nevertheless, the over-the top nature of Thompson's language inclines me to take this fun and readable work for what it is and simply to enjoy it.

[Hailee Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a LARPer and avid cosplayer, I've always been captured by those fantastic mental images of me standing undefeated atop a pile of my foes, sword in hand with people chanting my name and a prince on one knee proposing with a purple sparkly ring the size of a robin's egg.

This book illustrates and describes a collection of true stories such as that, the heroes of which are undeniably...well... badass.

Ben Thompson's other books are also fantastic, but this one happens to be my favorite. There are two other books in the "Badass" series that I would highly recommend. My guitarist introduced me to the series at a friend's house and I've been in love with it ever since.

If you like action, excitement, and humor, then these books are definitely for you. It's really inspiring to hear that people can be heroes in real life, as well as in the stories we grew up with. I suppose that this book restored my faith in humanity a bit, which is high praise for any piece of literature.

[David Brzezinski · Rating 4 out of 5]

For those of you who have read and liked the previous Badass books, you will not be disappointed with this one.

Thompson brings the same testosterone fuel he had from his two previous books to this one, now focusing on some of the great battles in history. Thompson does not limit himself to the big epic wars either, but looks to some of the smaller scale fights as well. Along side wars like the 100 Year War and the Punic Wars are specific battles like Gettysburg and Rorke's Drift.

I cannot verify the historical accuracy of the events as Thompson tells them. But, I am intrigued enough by what I read to seek further information about the events he relates, if only to seek clarification. But, Thompson's unique style definitely pulls you into the story and does not let go.

[Scott Vout · Rating 3 out of 5]

an interesting trip through history.

this book retells the stories of military conflicts throughout history with a bit of a twist.
the language used to describe the events is colourful and at time hilarious.

my one complaint, the colourful metaphors and descriptions tend to repeat themselves over and over in the second half of the book. the tales themselves started to sound like previous ones in the book. The book could have been half the length to prevent this and Mr. Thompson could have had himself a whole other book.

all in all - I enjoyed it.

[D · Rating 5 out of 5]

So funny.
Ben Thompson is the author of the hilarious badassofhteweek web site. If you don't know it, go take a look now.
This is a book for people who don't take life too seriously but want to get their fill of epic historic battles. You're not going to get dry historic accounts. You're going to get stuff like "Xerses and his homies chugged some red bull and went into Xtreme beast mode to da max, whipping the Greeks in the testicles so hard that they fled the field of battle like a bunch of nOObs."
Yeah it's crass and puerile but it's hilarious. I love it.