This installment in Philip Gulley's Harmony series is titled Almost Friends and we are back in Harmony spending time with all the citizens of Harmony once again. This time though, Sam has to take a three month sabbatical to take care of his father, who had a heart attack. To the horror of some of the congregation, mainly Dale Hinshaw and Fern Hampton of course, the replacement sent for Sam is a woman. But before the poor lady comes to Harmony we have Sam's thoughts on retirement:
In all the year Sam Gardner has lived in Harmony, he's never actually known anyone to retire, except for Miss Fishbeck, his sixth-grade teacher, who retired and moved to Las Vegas to help her sister, or so she said. It wasn't until after she left that people remembered she was an only child. They have no idea what she's up to out there but suspect she isn't teaching Sunday school.....
When Fern Hampton retired from teaching school, she took over the Friendly Women's Circle and has been running it ever since, even though Sam's mom had been elected president the past four years. Fern is intractable, an unyielding oak of a woman. Hit her with an ax, which Sam has been tempted to do many times, and it would bounce back and smack you in the head.
The right people never move to Las Vegas.
If all pastors were like Sam I think I could be a pastor. Just hide the ax first. But back to Fern:
Once a month Fern marches into Sam's office and complains that the younger women in the church aren't pulling their weight. "They don't join the Circle. They don't make noodles. They barely show up for the Chicken Noodle Dinner."
"Most of the work in the daytime," Sam points out. "Maybe if you were to hold the meetings at night more of them could come."
"The ladies don't like being out at night. You know that." To hear Fern tell it, Harmony after dark is inner-city Detroit....
Sam's church is full of these people, most of them useful citizens whom he genuinely loves. But a handful have caused him to study world religions, wondering if the grass might be greener on the other side of the theological fence. As far as he knows, the Buddhists don't have a Friendly Women's Circle. Or Dale Hinshaw.
And speaking of good old Dale, this time he decides to begin a new Scripture greetings ministry. For those of you who never heard of it, it's a computer disk that had all the phone numbers in the town on it. Dale recorded a message, put it in his computer, and it automatically called everyone in town. The problem being, he programed it to be sent at midnight. So while the entire town was asleep all their phones rang and they answered to hear Dale's voice telling them if you were to die today, do you know where you would spend eternity, and following with a bunch of Scripture verses. No one is happy about this. And all this before a lady pastor shows up. Dale may need a new heart once again. As for me, I've decided I could be a pastor, I really could. Just hide the ax.