Of Love and Other Lemons

by Katrina Stuart Santiago

"By turns brave, bewildered, unspairing, and vulnerable, these essays strive to reinvigorate kawomenan by accommodating the experiences and aspirations of a new generation of Filipinas." -from the Foreword by Mabi David

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays, Feminism, Love

125 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2012

About the author

Katrina Stuart Santiago is a Filipino writer, essayist, and critic known for her insightful commentary on Philippine arts, culture, and politics. She is also a co-founder of Everything's Fine, an independent bookstore, gallery, and small press in Manila.

Reviews

[Meeko · Rating 5 out of 5]

Katrina Stuart Santiago challenges what is to be a feminist in today’s time. She bravely writes what needs to be said but in a careful manner in which the readers won’t find any of the works “preachy” but instead, it’s an honest statement of what it means to be a woman living here in the Philippines, which lands softly but carries so much impact.

On the first few pages, I started to realize how I am not the target audience of this book but nevertheless, I was enjoying it so far so I kept on reading it because even though the essays she wrote aren’t meant for me in terms of its experience and collective message of it, you will not be able to put it down. Santiago keeps your mind and interest awake because every single essay is a revelation of things and feelings which you might not think as often but are as important anyway. There are a lot of things to learn inside of this book and finishing this meant that this talks about the struggle and oppression and challenges of being a woman, but it sure is meant to be read by everyone, woman or not.

In second part, Mirrors, Katrina bares so much more of herself, her history and what it means to make a name of her own, far from her mother’s legacy to which she wrote, ”I will not (be allowed to) sit on laurels that aren’t mine.” This part just makes this book even more interesting to read because we tend to see a glimpse of the author’s personal life but the stories doesn’t divert us from the main theme of this book and how her personal family stories takes up space in being a feminist too.

The correlation between being a feminist, and capitalism, and love in this country which she wrote about in part three goes to show how feminism is not just about fighting solely for women’s right, but it also entails the nature of being a human who yearns of being loved and in love and just being liberated from what this society managed to dictate what a woman should be. This part also displays the intersectionality of feminism, how fighting for women’s right also means recognizing not only that we are still in a very feudal and patriarchal world, but also in a very capitalist world, and what we can do about it. Talking about having agency of your own body and womanhood and independence but writing about contradictions and its implications but at the same time, giving you clarity on where you should stand a woman empowered amidst the society that tells you otherwise, is a very powerful statement that Santiago poured out in this.

Upon the fortunate instance of meeting her in MIBF this year, and having just bought my copy and having her signed it, she told me that this reprinted edition includes a new essay in regards to having lived through the Duterte administration as a woman how it solidify her identifying herself as a feminist. Because a lot has happen during those six long years and how the administration keeps on pushing back women’s fight for equality and freedom and also exposes how it directly affected all the women in different walks of life most especially those who don’t have the privilege to not be directly affected by it, to which she also recognized and forced her out of that and put her discomfort and fear into perspective.

The road to fighting for equality in the Philippines may still be long and bumpy, but we can start in recognizing the oppression that’s taking place here and doing something about it because in this country “where the Pinay is both sitting on a pedestal and standing in a corner, where she is silenced but celebrated”, “we must speak, louder and louder, because there are enough of us who will listen, and understand.” There is power in women who collectively fight for their freedom and not back down despite the cage that this patriarchal society continuously traps them in. Being on the other side of the fence, and someone who feminists are generally calling “trash”, I just want to say that I agree, and I am with you in this fight.

[JulienneReads ✧.* ◡̈ · Rating 5 out of 5]

i feel like I'm still trying to find the words for how much this book made me feel.

for now,

beautiful.

[Bettina Cuan · Rating 3 out of 5]

it was refreshing to have sentences and paragraphs that are about being a filipina specifically. a fault of my own but i don’t engross enough in local literature enough and it currently feels like that one leonardo di caprio meme of him pointing at the tv. i found myself considering intersections of feminism that really would not have crossed my mind before; like sitting in an admu proof lecture sort of way.

my own way of celebrating — happy women’s month!

[Bibliophilic Richard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Actual Rating: 3.5 / 5

[Ice M. · Rating 1 out of 5]

A collection of essays exploring the experience of being a Filipino woman living in the Philippines—from informative reflections to more liberal, political, and ultimately radical perspectives.

Edit: After recent events, I feel more comfortable sharing my actual rating for the book, which is a 2.0 ⭐. It's a book that supposedly captures a Filipina's experience, but reading through it as Filipina, it did not resonate with me at all; I just forced myself to slog through it (bec I'd already bought it). It felt dated or maybe written for a different generation, idk. But I know it's not for me. I also found it contradictory (and off-putting) for the author to be writing about feminism, while also disclaiming to not be a feminist herself. I initially bumped it up to 3.0 ⭐, nevertheless, so as not to discourage others from reading it. But am now bumping it to a rating this feels true to me.

PS. I also do not think it is worth the price I paid for to buy the book, so bumping it down further to a 1.0 ⭐

[Pat · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I was asked if I considered myself a feminist. I said no, not because I do not believe in the principles of feminism, but because I know my place in the context of Filipino feminists who are out on the streers, organizing on the ground, talking to real wkmen who represent the majority who are impoverished, and fighting for their basic rights to live decently just as human beings. I had said then: nakakahiya to call myself a feminist given what they do, dahil para sa'kin sila ang tunay na peminista."

"If there's anything having a tyrant in Malacañang teaches us, it's that being a feminist isn't just about believing in one's voice and rights as woman. It means, on this very basic level, being human — and that is the demand on feminism for these times."

[Lourdes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a collection of essays on sociocultural criticisms and a memoir. How I wish I had read this earlier, like when I was a teenager, as it would have been a guiding light! It's like a big sister in book form! It discusses topics such as coming to terms with the label "feminist", elevating women, dating and heartbreak challenges, having sex as a young woman in a Catholic society, and many more! Even though I am already aware with the subjects covered here, reading about them in the context of Philippine society is nevertheless fascinating. It is the kind of book I would like to recommend to every girl I know since it is written with such thoughtfulness and wisdom.

“What they don't tell you about your heart is that it is terribly resilient. Is that while it might fall victim to heartbreak, it knows to survive it. Is that even at the worst of times, it knows nothing else but to power through. Is that you will wonder about its frailty, as much as you will wrestle with its strength. Is that it will always have its own knowing, no matter what you think, what you believe. Is that it will believe some loves to be worthy, even when you know otherwise. Is that at its weakest, at its most painful, when you're crumpled in bed, crying all day, it is still yours. Is that it will always be about you: free, powerful, enduring.”

“If there's anything having a tyrant in Malacañang teaches us, it's that being feminist isn't just about believing in one's voice and rights as woman. It means, on this very basic level, being human—and that is the demand on feminism for these times.”

[natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

easily my fave 2022 read i think!!! i could've finished this in one sitting but i knew i wanted my reading experience to last longer. this was relatable and thought-provoking and made me reflect on my own outlooks on sex and boys, on politics and feminism, and of course, on what love means for us. my personal fave (at the moment at least) was the essay on marxism and consumption HAHSHSHA SO WITTY SO REAL!!! though i can say that every part had its own way of hitting close to home :]

of love and other lemons is a book i'll keep close to my heart (or my aorta? :D) and i'm so thankful i was able to read it in my lifetime. it's a struggle for me to express my thoughts and share my own experiences, but it's books like these that continue to inspire me to write stories and give my own lemons to the world ^___^

[Ronabear · Rating 4 out of 5]

What really is feminism aside from being pro-women?
This was the first question that kept circling my mind as I read Of Love and Other Lemons, and somehow, Katrina Santiago answers it not through definitions, but through lived experience.

This collection of essays dives deep into the layers of womanhood — how we are raised in a conservative nation, how society teaches us to behave a certain way, and how our voices are often softened, shaped, or silenced. Santiago writes with honesty and sharpness, unraveling the quiet ways the world tells women who they should be.

Each essay felt like a small awakening. Some lines stung, others comforted, and many lingered long after I closed the book. It’s reflective without being preachy, personal yet universal, and it opened my eyes to how feminism is not just a stance, but a constant unlearning and reclaiming.

[readsandramble · Rating 5 out of 5]

“𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚒𝚝. 𝙸𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎. 𝙸𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚑 𝚜𝚞𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝, 𝚍𝚎𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢. 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎'𝚜 𝚝𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎. 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊 𝚓𝚞𝚍𝚐𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞, 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚔𝚎𝚙𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠. 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚣𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚛, 𝚝𝚘𝚘: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏? 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙲𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚌𝚑 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚊 𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎. 𝚂𝚘𝚌𝚒𝚎𝚝𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚐𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚢 𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚏𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜: 𝚟𝚒𝚛𝚐𝚒𝚗, 𝚠𝚒𝚏𝚎, 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛, 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚝𝚞𝚝𝚎. 𝙽𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚕𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚛, 𝚘𝚛 𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝. 𝙽𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛. 𝙽𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚛𝚎. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔: 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚋��𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚜𝚔: 𝚒𝚏 𝙸 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝? 𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚕, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎'𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞.”

[kulisap · Rating 4 out of 5]

[i read the 2020 edition]

an insightful essay collection tackling the experiences and context of being a woman in the philippines

sometimes about love, most times about womanhood, female solidarity, politics, feminism etc

i enjoyed reading it though the bits about love i couldn't connect at all cuz i simply wasn't interested in the topic. but i suppose they're helpful and resonant to other people

3.5, rounding up to 4

[kailynreads · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gave me numerous realizations as someone who is privileged and mostly unaffected by the issues we face as women, as a society and in the perspective of the marginalized and impoverished citizens of our country.

Are we truly liberated? The perspective on the patriarchy, capitalism and the ideals of a woman in society has not changed much. Are we truly liberated in this world where women are constantly invalidated, undermined, taken advantage of and in recent news, killed? It is disheartening that these issues are rampant and that the burden of living in fear befalls on their shoulders.

I like how the author emphasizes that while we are made aware of their situation is that we will never be able to truly understand and empathize with their struggles. In the same manner that a man would never understand a woman’s struggle.

“How they are forgotten the moment they disappear, as they are always willingly replaced by another face and body who has no choice but to live the same life that’s already written.”
The last segment (Postscript) was one of the highlighted parts for me as it touched topics outside my comprehension in a way that I could never relate to compared to the essay on the patriarchal values of the Philippines affect me and the way women are viewed.

Definitely worth the read and such an eye-opener for me personally. ❤️

[Siyara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very insightful and well-written. A must read for every Pinay (I think).

[Miguel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reread—now with more lemons!

You can tell the “original” iteration was a product of its time because when you get to the new final section, there’s a sense of maturity in perspective from the author. Not that she didn’t arrive in full-form and full-force before. But the fire isn’t burning as big and as hot as it once was; rather the flames have settled into a steady burn. It’s warm and inviting yet make no mistake there’s a dormant power still.

[bryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read the 2020 edition if you're looking for a book on what it's like to be a feminist in the Philippines — living a life of contradictions; recognizing your privilege; owning your sexuality; and fighting against cultural and sociopolitical forces that demand control over your body and decisions.

[Lexine (Taylor’s Version) · Rating 5 out of 5]

beautiful. i have no words. i could not have read this at a much better time - being a woman in a male dominated field who is nearing her graduation. with that, i have felt that majority of the “men” in my life suddenly have something to say - unsolicited advice on how i should spend my time after graduation. because “men” always feel the need that to be involved in everything they are not. what is meant to be my experience and my achievements should be mine alone; they shouldn’t be discredited because i am a woman. what a crazy world we live in for “men” to always think they can be a part of anything a woman has done.

thank you to my fyp who have recommended this to me. i scoured the internet for information as to where i can find this book; i traveled to makati for my birthday because i have wished nothing more but comfort. and i found it in this book.

this collection of essays have described what it truly means to be a filipina growing up where we are not protected. thank you.

[Jo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Of Love and Other Lemons is raw, vulnerable, and beautifully honest. Katrina Stuart Santiago writes in a way that makes you feel like she’s speaking directly to your own hidden thoughts—the ones you’ve never said out loud, but have definitely felt.

This book isn’t just about love; it’s about the kind of love that aches, questions, lingers, and even rebels. It explores heartbreak, longing, womanhood, and the complexity of choosing yourself in a world that often asks you not to. There’s a quiet power in how she puts emotions into words—simple but striking, poetic yet grounded in real pain and truth.

Reading it felt like being seen, especially in those moments of confusion or solitude. It’s the kind of book you return to when you need to feel understood, or when you’re trying to understand yourself. A beautiful reminder that love isn’t always sweet—but it can still be brave, healing, and necessary.

[Mikaela Turingan · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a Filipina who is are feminist, I can relate to the author's story while reading this.




Your body is you will never own it.
It is always protected by someone and saved for someone. It is both subject and object, devoid of agency and personality. Your skin is a matter of someone else's taste. The darks spot are judgement against you, your wrinkles counted and kept from view. Your size is a question that's the answer, too: what did you do to yourself? The Church calls your body a temple. Society categorize you by its functions: virgin, wife, mother, prostitute. Never based on its labor, or its intellect. Never just lover. Never simply body and desire. You are made to think: the body is the last bastion of self. You ask: if I give of body, then what else will be left?

Well, there's still you.

-Katrina Stuart Santiago
Of Love And Other Lemons

[Anjelica Nabong · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every single piece in this collection is a banger. Santiago's writing is crisp, succinct, and sweet. It was a pleasure to read her writing. And it was a pleasure to read her thoughts on feminism, our nation, Duterte, and womanhood.

Sometimes I find it hard to read collections of short essays or stories because it can be a hit and miss, and you lose the "gigil" or interest to finish the book. This was not that. From the first piece to the last, it was all mind-widening and extremely well written. I can't stop thinking about the pieces I read.

First book I read by Katrina Stuart Santiago, although I see her whenever I visit Everything's Fine Bookstore in Salcedo. I'm can say I'm a big fan.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

More 3.5 than 4. Chapters one, two, and six were my favorite. Her essays on feminism were really well-written and on point in discussing the lived experience of the middle-class, educated Filipina. I love especially the essay It Goes Without Saying. At one point, though, the writing style became tedious to read. The structure assumed one form, repetitively using transitions like “because __”, “that this is ___”, “which is not to say___”. Nothing wrong with that necessarily, can just be tedious at one point especially if you read in one sitting. Still worth a read for its content.

[Neysa Saguid · Rating 4 out of 5]

‘Of Love and Other Lemons’ - don’t be fooled by the soft sounding title. Subjects on menstrual superstitions (this is SO filipino btw), the empty feminism of our two previous female presidents, and all the idiosyncrasies we inherit from our great-grandmothers that we are trying to unlearn; Katrina Santiago did not romanticize growing up Filipina.

Stirring tenderness and (the right amount of) rage, with inserts of beautiful poetry, Katrina Santiago wonderfully captured the voice of the modern Filipina.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful collection of feminist essays and recollections of the author's life through her relationships with different generations of women in her family, as well as general comments on love that I found quite impactful to fellow women, especially fellow Filipino women. A great book, and one that is meant for the people, and not intended to be limited by academic or theoretical approaches in its discourse. This is a human book and with some very insightful remarks that deeply resonated with me. Would widely recommend.

[Yana · Rating 5 out of 5]

would definitely consider this as one of my top reads this year. it’s important, always timely, and thought-provoking. i might have read this in such a quick phasing, i know that i’ll definitely visit this book from time to time. ngl my heart felt heavy reading this and knowing that there’s still so much stuff we need to do and continue doing but the last parts of the book just broke me with that sudden realization. aaa i just love this so much :’[

[Salad · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have actually finished this back on February 10 and now that I have some time I have finally updated my reads, to rethink everything. I can wholly say that reading everything about this book is like bleeding my heart out dry. As a Filipina, I can’t help but shed a tear over this book.

I especially cried over the pages of Mirrors. I love Katrina’s vulnerability and strength for writing this masterpiece.

[Ivanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I liked and enjoyed this (finished in one sitting) - there are times where I find that it is redundant.

But it is relevant and something my younger self would have appreciated, this would make a great gift to my younger sister. The message in this book would have saved me from heartaches and navigating life in general.

I'm excited to explore more Filipino authors, they all write beautifully. UGH 🥰

[Maria Jayveelyn Lalusis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brave and honest. Real and hopeful. I have read many books about women, mostly written by foreign authors, and it is refreshing to read a Filipina's perspective that is both culturally accurate and relatable. I appreciate how the book is mindfully written with respect for the opposite gender. It is empowering and, in my opinion, a must-read for all Pinays, especially the younger generation.

[veron · Rating 4 out of 5]

This nation does not know how to take care of its women, and it’s a fact not only frightening but also terrifyingly persistent.

*

I highly recommend the chapters: “Dear liberated Pinay” and “Love is an I.S.A.”

[Aerielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

“It is to say that we must know to take words and make them ours. It's to say that we must speak, louder and louder, because there are enough of us who will listen, and understand, if not argue with us, too. It is to say, we begin with, and end, with words.”

[d3cember05 · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars it was very eye opening the author finally put into words the feelings I've felt it was very insightful whether it be about love (mostly) or politics i enjoyed it very much!

[Kat Loberiano · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easily became one of my favorite books three essays in. I kind of regret not having my copy signed by Ms. Ina at MIBF (nahiya lol). Anyway I think I'll reread this many times in the future. 🥲💕