The Recovering Heart: Emotional Sobriety for Women

by Beverly Conyers

Beverly Conyers, a prominent voice in recovery, uses personal stories and informed insight to guide you in achieving emotional sobriety by addressing behaviors and feelings unique to the female recovery experience.

Your old, destructive lifestyle is fading into the past and now you are a woman in recovery. What an amazing gift you've given yourself. So why aren't you happier? As sobriety takes hold and your head starts to clear, a wide range of emotions can begin to emerge--feelings that until now you've "medicated" with chemicals. Yet to stay sober, and to grow and flourish as a person, you must engage in healing and take responsibility for these long-neglected emotions.

Beverly Conyers, a prominent voice in recovery, uses personal stories and informed insight to guide you in achieving emotional sobriety by addressing behaviors and feelings unique to the female experience. Learn how to develop the inner resiliency to face and process difficult, buried emotions--such as shame, grief, fear, and anger--while freeing the positive feelings of self-worth, independence, and integrity. Discover how to heal your "damaged self" by improving your communication skills, expanding your capacity for intimacy and trust, and reawakening a spiritual life. As you heal your wounded heart, you can free yourself to a life of self-acceptance and lay the foundation for a rewarding and relapse-free second stage of recovery.

Genres: Nonfiction

216 pages, Paperback

First published May 28, 2013

About the author

I began writing about addiction in 2003 after discovering that my younger daughter had become addicted to heroin. I wanted to learn everything I could about the disease and also to help others who were struggling to cope with a loved one’s addiction.

Over the years, I grew increasingly interested in the process of recovery, which led me to confront the destructive role that alcohol has played in my own life. I’ve come to believe that most addictions (including compulsive behaviors and self-defeating thought patterns) are an attempt to escape the pain of simply being who we are (or who we think we are). My fourth book, FIND YOUR LIGHT: PRACTICING MINDFULNESS TO RECOVER FROM ANYTHING, explores how mindfulness can support recovery by gently guiding us toward self-knowledge, self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-love.

Q & A with Beverly Conyers

HOW WOULD YOU DEFINE ADDICTION?
Addiction is rampant in our society and takes many forms, including substance use, disordered eating, gambling, compulsive Internet use, hoarding, video game addiction, porn or sex addiction, and self-defeating thought patterns. These problematic patterns of thinking and behaving enter the realm of addiction when they create persistent, serious problems in our life. These can include fractured relationships, workplace problems, and compromised mental and physical health.

WHAT'S BEHIND ALL THESE ADDICTIVE BEHAVIORS?
Most people with addictions live with deep feelings of shame and inadequacy – the belief that we’re just not “good enough” as we are. These painful feelings of being fundamentally unacceptable – which often operate at a subconscious level -- help fuel addiction and undermine recovery. We’re constantly looking for distractions and escape because we find it so hard to be alone with our thoughts – most of which are based on deeply ingrained but ultimately false ideas about ourselves and our world.

HOW CAN MINDFULNESS HELP WITH RECOVERY?
Addiction is about escape. Mindfulness is about awareness. It opens our eyes to new ways of understanding ourselves and our world. It helps us recognize the false beliefs and damaging thoughts that prevent us from finding happiness and peace of mind. It teaches us to value all living things, including ourselves, and allows us to see ourselves as part of a greater whole. As awareness grows, we begin to awaken our innate talents, strengths, and moral goodness. And by learning to let go of the automatic thoughts that consume so much of our mental energy, we free ourselves to discover who we really are. We find out what really matters to us and develop the values, sense of purpose, and self-discipline that lay the foundation for genuine happiness.

Reviews

[Tifany · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was very impressed by this simple practical heartfelt little book.

[Frances · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is about the damage of addiction for women and how to get to recovery. It holds the stories of a few but it holds truths about how hard it is to get clean and what the steps are to do that. I especially like the fact that although they mostly talk about alcohol and drugs they include food, shopping and other addictions in their list so it is more inclusive.

[Jmp · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good recovery book for anyone whether or not a drinker. Practical advise, exercises, recollections, writing.

[Heather]

This book is interesting. As a recovering alcaholic this was very helpful.

[madam0wl · Rating 3 out of 5]

well, I stuck it out through it, having to skim quite a few parts. too much back story for me, not enough "how to"

[Carolyn Stoebe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found the last few chapters in this book especially helpful!