Miksi fiksut naiset valitsevat väärin

by Connell Cowan, Melwyn Kinder, Ilkka Rekiaro (Translator)

Kirja käsittelee miesten ja naisten välisiä suhteita, suhteiden selventämistä ja niiden kehittämistä onnellisemmiksi.

Kirjoittajien mukaan useimmilla naisilla on meidän aikanamme vaikeuksia sovittaa parisuhde ja intimiteetti usein hyvin itsenäiseen ja urasuuntautuneeseen elämäntapaan. Kirjassa esitetään runsaasti esimerkkejä pettymykseen johtaneiden parisuhteiden syistä ja taustavoimista. Kirjan loppupuolella paljastetaan, niin ikään esimerkein, oivalluksia ja strategioita, jotka voivat auttaa sukupuolten välisen vieraantumisen kääntämistä onnellisempaan suuntaan.

Cowan ja Kinder ovat kliinisesti suuntautuneita psykologeja. He ovat hoitaneet klinikallaan Beverly Hillsissä, Kaliforniassa, jo vuosia perheiden avioeroon, seksuaalisuuteen sekä miesten ja naisten välisiin suhteisiin liittyviä ongelmia. He ovat kirjoittaneet paitsi psykologeina myös miehinä, miesten näkökulmasta.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction, Personal Growth

237 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1985

Reviews

[Mutantreptile · Rating 1 out of 5]

My neighbor gave me this book when I was 15. I now realize she must have hated me.

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very helpful book. I'd be embarrassed to be seen reading it in public because of it's corny title, but I would include it in a list called "Popular Psychology Books with Dumb Titles That Are Actually Smart, Helpful Books."

[Sivassanggari Tamil Selvam]

This book is profound all around, but I keep returning to this passage that resonates with me:

"But it's crucial for a woman to realize that she was not simply a respondent in the relationship, but half of the reason for the chemistry. Without her, the magic would not have existed.

We find that far too many women forget the real importance of cause and effect in the interactive process of a relationship. They lose contact with their own sense of personal power, particularly when they feel powerless to make the man want to stay. They may confuse that temporary sense of power loss with a more long-term and crippling feeling of powerlessness.

A man may leave, but he can't take a woman with him. She and she alone is the owner of her personal worth and essence. No one, not the most clever or most dark-hearted of men, can steal that. It can only be given away."

Read that again!

[Ellen]

Long ago and far away. No review necessary -- the very fact alone that I read it certainly says something about that time in my life.

[Julianna Torres · Rating 4 out of 5]

i read this book at a cafe a few days ago 🫶🏻 im starting to like self help books!! 💖 this book was pretty interesting since it was about why ✨ smart women make foolish choices ✨ there were themes in this book that really opened my mind to how i am as a lover and my romantic interests. 🤩 i was so interested in the book that i couldn’t put it down!

the first thing i learned was: there are no perfect men, i spend way too much time waiting for everything to be perfect. i want everything to feel perfect before i start anything. this book reminded me that it’s okay to let go of control and just be myself and just go for what makes me happy 🫶🏻

another thing i learned was that i’m still daddy’s little girl! i’m cute, sweet, & adoring. i love being taken care of but that doesn’t mean i’m not smart enough and that i can’t do things for myself. my dad treated my mom and i really well and i want someone like that 🤍

and that last song was because i relate to it 🫶🏻 you’re just wasting time something happens and im head over heels i never find out ‘till im head over heels don’t take my heart don’t throw it away ⭐️

[Sanela K. · Rating 3 out of 5]

15. knjiga koju sam pročitala ove (2018.) godine je knjiga "Pametne žene - pogrešni izbori" ("Smart women, foolish choices" by Connell O'Brien Cowan and Melvyn Kinder). Pisali su knjigu ne samo kao psiholozi, nego i kao muškarci, sa njihove tačke gledišta. Knjiga se bavi odnosima između muškaraca i žena, ne onakvim kakvi bi oni trebali biti, nego onakvim kakvi oni zaista i jesu. Sami kažu da je njihova knjiga u stvari pokušaj da se odnosi između muškaraca i žena učine jasnijim, realnijim i u krajnjoj liniji srećnijim. Djelimično su uspjeli u tome. Na kraju knjige se nalaze rezimirani savjeti te upitnici koji će vam pomoći da izanalizirate svoj izbor, odnosno vezu sa muškarcem sa kojim ste (bili) u vezi.

[Su · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good book that reminds me of the basics of courting. There is nothing in this book that is an earth shattering revelation that I haven't already known. It serves more as a reminder of what I should be aware of. For example this book tells you about 4 basic bad guys to avoid. Now that is an oversimplified way of classifying the "bad guys" but it works because it basically narrows down a lot of men you may have already gone out with or maybe considering. The first half of the book sets up the premise for the second half. The second half of the book is where the real advice lies. All in all I say its worth a read and I am going to keep this book on my shelf for some of its smart one-liners and sound advice.

[Maria Edwards · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book right after my divorce. I saw my high school boyfriend, ex husband, and the current man I was dating among the pages. Watching Good Morning America, as a single mom getting ready for work, I began to realize what I really wanted was the host at that time, Charlie Gibson. He probably never played in a band, danced well, or was the life of the party. That’s when I became open to the advances of the man I would eventually marry. We are together over 20 years. He is dad to my kids, now adults, reliable, and a nut about history! A friend received 7 copies one year for XMas 😂. It was the wake up call she desperately needed!!! It was worth my time and I passed it along to others.

[Bryn]

"Girl, go to the self=esteem store and buy you some self-esteem."

[Kimberly Mitchell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book when I was in my early 20s and think it has some great advice for women to follow regarding being codependent in a relationship. It's worth the read.

[Maria Calleja · Rating 3 out of 5]

fun read after a break up...makes you start realizing all the dumbass mistakes women do. lol. me included not gonna lie...lol.

[Shabsough Mrs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice and simple , I will recommend it ;)

[Callie · Rating 2 out of 5]

From the male perspective can be a good or bad thing when giving insight to the "foolish choices" women supposedly make... however the male bias is a bit too strong and something likes this would have been better written as a collaboration with both male and female input. As it stands the book puts the blame for certain problems on women even while saying such and such man does this, but the woman should make adjustments... ummm...say what now? He is wrong, but the woman has to be the one to make corrections to fix the problem. Yeah, that's a solid no! Either they are equal partners and both need to work on the relationship together to solve the problems or she needs to get out. And then at the very end it talks about how to "keep a man interested" by playing games like not letting on to where she was or as they compared men to rats saying that if they don't know when there's going to be a "payoff" they'll try harder to make things work!! Seriously, NO one wants to be in a relationship where the other is 'playing games' that's absurd. Only reason it gets 2 stars instead of 1 is because there are worse books out there, but I certainly wouldn't recommend this book to anyone that I actually liked or cared about them doing well in life and relationships. It doesn't mater that it's slightly dated, the skew is too male dominated to be of actual use. I guess there's some good, but the bias is too strong to make most of it useful and the problem is females without a strong backbone would be walked all over by this advice.

[ilayda Öztürk · Rating 5 out of 5]

🌟

[Azyishhh Pvc · Rating 5 out of 5]

محتوای جلب کننده ای داشت
توصیه میکنم تهیه و خونده بشه

[Milkica Crevar · Rating 3 out of 5]

2,5/5

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

1988.

[ZaRi]

زنی که معتقد است مردها بی احساس ، بی توجه و غیرقابل اعتماد هستند ، با مردهایی با این خصوصیات روبه رو می شود . زنی که انتظار دارد مردی را بیابد که مهربان ، احساساتی ، و قابل اعتماد باشد ، با چنین مردی مواجه خواهد شد . این تصادف نیست . انتظارات مثبت سبب می شود که مرد خود را فردی با ارزش بداند و تا آنجا که ممکن است نیازهای زن را برآورده کند.

[Jean Marie Angelo · Rating 3 out of 5]

One upon a time it was the most popular women's self-help book.