The Mop

by Alan Simpson

A time in which I was young, stoned and care­free, where my friends were the hook­ers and deal­ers that worked out­side, my co-workers a mot­ley crew of strip­pers, rent-boys, freaks and per­verts. Where the vil­lains are the upright cit­i­zens of the city and the heroes are pros­ti­tutes, drug addicts and queens. The book records my jour­ney from inno­cent impres­sion­able hetty-boy (the stores’ token straight male) to jaded and surly porn store clerk. More than just a col­lec­tion of anec­do­tal scenes, The Mop is a comic look at one man’s bad luck, a first­hand account of one of the worst jobs out there, a behind the scenes view of a world most read­ers are unfa­mil­iar with. The Mop explains how a rel­a­tively nor­mal mid­dle class kid ended up in this world and what he did to escape it. It doc­u­ments the lessons learned and the sights seen along the way, show­ing that friend­ship, love and laugh­ter can be found in the most unlikely of places. The Mop is writ­ten for every per­son that has ever walked past a porn store and won­dered what goes on behind the cur­tain, for every­one that plucked up the courage to ven­ture inside only to come face to face with the jaded porn clerk, for any­one who ever thought ‘My job sucks’.

233 pages, Hardcover

First published May 1, 2012

Reviews

[Gary · Rating 5 out of 5]

"If you gaze long into a mop, the mop also gazes into you" - Wilberforce Nietzsche (Fred's cousin)

I know why the caged mop sings. And so does Alan Simpson. And it was Moprates who once said "The unexamined life isn't worth mopping". Descarte said "I mop, therefore I am" before he was put before De Horse. How do you review a book about working in King's Cross sex shops? You don't. You let Keirkegaard do the talking to you. I believe he had this book in mind when he wrote:

"Behold, for this reason it is so hard to choose the mop, because in this choice absolute isolation is identical with the most profound continuity, because through his choice every possibility of becoming something else - or rather of remolding oneself into something else - is ruled out.

"As the passion for freedom awakes in him (and it awakes in the choice, as it is already presupposed to be the choice), he chooses the mop and fights for this possession as for his happiness, and this is happiness."
-Keirkegaard, Either-or

[Ichor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely adore this book, it's been years since I read it and I am still recommending it to this day. Hilarious story, that made me awkwardly laugh out loud in the bus several times. It's a must read for anyone with a strong stomach and dark humour.

[Paddy Dawson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read, plus it fulfills everything you need from a book, it's a page turner and if you need to you can actually use it as a mop. Alan, you Da shadow man, man!