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Tell No One
A stunning memoir of one man's search for his birth parents, which uncovered an astonishing global scandal at the heart of the Catholic Church.
Brendan Watkins was eight years old when his parents told him he was adopted. When he was in his late twenties, he started searching for his birth parents and eventually discovered the identity of his birth he was told she was a Catholic nun. And she wanted nothing to do with him. For the next thirty years Brendan had no clues as to the identity of his birth father.
In 2018, a DNA test proved that he was the son of a priest. His father had studied in a Trappist monastery in Ireland, returned to Australia and become a celebrated outback missionary.
After decades of searching and obstruction from the Catholic church, the whole truth was finally exposed. Brendan Watkins' birth parents were a Catholic priest and a nun. Tell No One reveals the moving story of that incredible discovery, and explores the questions, anxieties and reflections arising from his hidden past.
'I read Tell No One in one sitting. I could not put it down. Everyone needs to know where they come from. It is such a core need. Brendan's persistence against secrecy and lies was a powerful reminder that many end their lives without knowing. I so wanted a fairytale ending and then I remembered how cruel institutionalised religious power is to children and women. Read it and weep and then get strategic - it has to end.' Wendy McCarthy AO, author of Don't Be Too Polite, Girls
Brendan Watkins was eight years old when his parents told him he was adopted. When he was in his late twenties, he started searching for his birth parents and eventually discovered the identity of his birth he was told she was a Catholic nun. And she wanted nothing to do with him. For the next thirty years Brendan had no clues as to the identity of his birth father.
In 2018, a DNA test proved that he was the son of a priest. His father had studied in a Trappist monastery in Ireland, returned to Australia and become a celebrated outback missionary.
After decades of searching and obstruction from the Catholic church, the whole truth was finally exposed. Brendan Watkins' birth parents were a Catholic priest and a nun. Tell No One reveals the moving story of that incredible discovery, and explores the questions, anxieties and reflections arising from his hidden past.
'I read Tell No One in one sitting. I could not put it down. Everyone needs to know where they come from. It is such a core need. Brendan's persistence against secrecy and lies was a powerful reminder that many end their lives without knowing. I so wanted a fairytale ending and then I remembered how cruel institutionalised religious power is to children and women. Read it and weep and then get strategic - it has to end.' Wendy McCarthy AO, author of Don't Be Too Polite, Girls
Kindle Edition
Published August 8, 2023
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August 15, 2023Over 30 years the author, who had a closed adoption, traces his parents, a nun and a much older priest and I've been reading it all day. It's unputdownable. The writing is stunning, the revelations of the Catholic church are not unexpected but....
It was interesting to note that nuns take a vow of poverty but priests do not. And that celibacy was no part of the Catholic church until the 12th century and all to do with keeping property and money in the church and not going out to families as inheritances.
By serendipity I watched Long Lost Family last night. It was about two men who had been adopted from Catholic orphanages in Ireland. One had his birth certificate in the name of his adoptive parents, neither the birth certificate nor the adoption being legal. Without DNA it would be impossible to trace the families of such people.
It was interesting to note that nuns take a vow of poverty but priests do not. And that celibacy was no part of the Catholic church until the 12th century and all to do with keeping property and money in the church and not going out to families as inheritances.
By serendipity I watched Long Lost Family last night. It was about two men who had been adopted from Catholic orphanages in Ireland. One had his birth certificate in the name of his adoptive parents, neither the birth certificate nor the adoption being legal. Without DNA it would be impossible to trace the families of such people.
February 22, 2024
Wow.
Compelling reading
Appalling behaviour of yet more revealed abuse by the Catholic Church
Not surprised by anything I read just further appalled and further gratitude for the fact that although I was raised within a very religious family it was not within the Catholic Church.
Every adult I know raised within the tradition is impacted enormously right throughout their lives even those who have rejected completely their upbringing and are “lapsed”.
Compelling reading
Appalling behaviour of yet more revealed abuse by the Catholic Church
Not surprised by anything I read just further appalled and further gratitude for the fact that although I was raised within a very religious family it was not within the Catholic Church.
Every adult I know raised within the tradition is impacted enormously right throughout their lives even those who have rejected completely their upbringing and are “lapsed”.
January 17, 2024
The true story of one man's search for his birth parents. His journey takes him from Melbourne to Sydney and onto the outback of South Australia. He learns that his birth parents are a nun and a priest.
Told with a very emotional voice, Brendan's experiences in dealing with the Catholic church and centuries of red tape and doctrine are riveting. He slowly discovers that a lot of people in his father's congregations are aware of Brendan's and his parents.
Told with a very emotional voice, Brendan's experiences in dealing with the Catholic church and centuries of red tape and doctrine are riveting. He slowly discovers that a lot of people in his father's congregations are aware of Brendan's and his parents.
January 20, 2024
As an adoptee, this book was close to my heart.
It brought back many memories of searching for my birth mother in the same years as the author.
I couldn't put this book down going through the emotional roller coaster of Brendan searching for his birth mother.
It brought back many memories of searching for my birth mother in the same years as the author.
I couldn't put this book down going through the emotional roller coaster of Brendan searching for his birth mother.
June 11, 2024
Very eye opening about the abuse of children by the Catholic Church. I didn’t realize so many children were abandoned by their Fathers who were priests.
October 7, 2023
This was a very compelling topic that I hadn't given much thought to before reading this. I enjoyed the last third of the book as it took an in-depth look into the offspring of Priests, the lack of acknowledgement they receive and the little to no support they're offered. It felt overly long in parts, but still a very interesting read.
March 3, 2024
I actually skipped the last few pages as I just wanted to be done with the book. If you think this book is going to be about him trying to find out who his father is, that is done in the first 150 pages. The rest is him coming to terms with it, which just felt repetitive
August 31, 2023
Was interesting but I was expecting more scandals. Says it all on the cover of the book. Son of a priest and nun.
May 17, 2024
Tell No One, by Brendan Watkins, is described to have achieved something that few memoirs can, “laying bare a disturbing history with compassion and humanity”. The book details the author's search for his birth parents, which uncovered “an astonishing global scandal at the heart of the Catholic Church”.
This reviewer first “read” the title as an audiobook narrated by David Tredinnick. His delivery of the author's story perfectly conveys the deep emotions of a man desperately searching for answers to some of the most fundamental questions about his existence.
“Who were my parents? Where were they? Why did they give me away?”
The author's voice is distinct and almost tangible in the print book, writing about the “nagging inkling” that many adopted people feel, “that they're mismatched, don't quite fit, or are outsiders, a recurring sense that they've lost something”. Watkins quotes English author Jeanette Winterson in her 2011 book Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?:
“Adoption drops you into the story after it has started. It's like reading a book with the first few pages missing... The feeling that something is missing never, ever leaves you – and it can't, and it shouldn't, because something is missing.”
Watkins learned about his adoption when he was eight years old. Upon his decision to start a family at the age of 29, he encountered the practical issue of “what was swimming around in my gene pool” that could affect the health and development of his future offspring.
However, having finally tracked down the name of his birth mother via the Catholic Family Welfare Bureau – the agency in charge of “finding homes for surrendered Catholic children among parishioners” – Watkins was told to “go home and forget about her forever”.
Worse, after decades of extensive research and a DNA test, Watkins discovered that he is the son of a priest and a nun. His father, a celebrated outback missionary, had sworn his mother to secrecy about their relationship. This, according to Watkins, is a form of “spiritual abuse” that “says so much about the misogyny of the Catholic Church, the institution”.
“It's a male-centric institution that doesn't recognise the rights of women. I found that my mother had met my father when she was 14 or 15, and he was 30 years older... so he had enormous influence over her.”
There are approximately 450,000 Catholic priests around the world. Although there are no accurate records, it is estimated that they have fathered over 20,000 children. Research has shown that many mothers were pressured to have abortions. Others were coerced into hiding, tormented by shame and guilt as they gave birth to babies who were immediately and forcibly removed for adoption, their records falsified or conveniently lost.
How many women endured this fate? And how many children of priests have suffered from secrecy and lies like Watkins did? Tell No One is a powerful reminder of the sort of cruelty that institutionalised religious power can impose on women and children.
This reviewer first “read” the title as an audiobook narrated by David Tredinnick. His delivery of the author's story perfectly conveys the deep emotions of a man desperately searching for answers to some of the most fundamental questions about his existence.
“Who were my parents? Where were they? Why did they give me away?”
The author's voice is distinct and almost tangible in the print book, writing about the “nagging inkling” that many adopted people feel, “that they're mismatched, don't quite fit, or are outsiders, a recurring sense that they've lost something”. Watkins quotes English author Jeanette Winterson in her 2011 book Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?:
“Adoption drops you into the story after it has started. It's like reading a book with the first few pages missing... The feeling that something is missing never, ever leaves you – and it can't, and it shouldn't, because something is missing.”
Watkins learned about his adoption when he was eight years old. Upon his decision to start a family at the age of 29, he encountered the practical issue of “what was swimming around in my gene pool” that could affect the health and development of his future offspring.
However, having finally tracked down the name of his birth mother via the Catholic Family Welfare Bureau – the agency in charge of “finding homes for surrendered Catholic children among parishioners” – Watkins was told to “go home and forget about her forever”.
Worse, after decades of extensive research and a DNA test, Watkins discovered that he is the son of a priest and a nun. His father, a celebrated outback missionary, had sworn his mother to secrecy about their relationship. This, according to Watkins, is a form of “spiritual abuse” that “says so much about the misogyny of the Catholic Church, the institution”.
“It's a male-centric institution that doesn't recognise the rights of women. I found that my mother had met my father when she was 14 or 15, and he was 30 years older... so he had enormous influence over her.”
There are approximately 450,000 Catholic priests around the world. Although there are no accurate records, it is estimated that they have fathered over 20,000 children. Research has shown that many mothers were pressured to have abortions. Others were coerced into hiding, tormented by shame and guilt as they gave birth to babies who were immediately and forcibly removed for adoption, their records falsified or conveniently lost.
How many women endured this fate? And how many children of priests have suffered from secrecy and lies like Watkins did? Tell No One is a powerful reminder of the sort of cruelty that institutionalised religious power can impose on women and children.
September 21, 2023
TELL NO ONE by Brendan Watkins is published by Allen & Unwin August 2023
Review by Lorraine Parker
Tell No One is an all-consuming and remarkable revealing memoir. However, straight away I have to ask myself, (at this point rhetorically, “is it all that remarkable”!) Only the reader can answer that.
So very aptly named, it is the story of Brendan’s lifelong search to find his true biological identity and genetic inheritance. He was very fortunate in being adopted by a wonderful, loving and caring couple, Bet and Roy. They were devout Catholics and specially selected to adopt a second, ‘special baby’ in 1961. When he was just 8 years old, he and an elder ‘brother’ Damien, were told that they were adopted. With that the topic was seemingly closed.
However, Brendan felt that he did not belong and, as he grew older, was very much disturbed by the question of his birth parents. At the age of 24 he discovered, after much searching, that his birth mother was a nun. Her name was Maggie. How did he discovered this is just one part of his story. However he was told that she did not want anything to do with him. So began a lifelong quest, heightened, as time went by, and even more so, when Brendan married Kate and had two boys of his own.
Brendan made contact, many times, with Maggie, who eventually relented and met with him in her home. (This is eventually reveal)ed as a pivotal moment), Yes, he so longed to meet her but also in anticipation of information as to who his father was. Maggie cleverly remained in control of conversation and yielded not a thing.
The chapters called, Secrets, Lies, The Road, and finally Aftermath are a revelation of the Catholic Church and members within it, over several decades. (However, also a reflection of the changes in attitude of many institutions of the times). What makes Brendan’s story so fascinating and consuming is not only the fact that his biological father was a priest but that the actual relationship between a nun and a priest could become almost obliterated by the forces of individuals and the church. The relationship between Maggie and his father Vincent mesmerized Brendan. It was unfathomable.
I must add that Brendan himself also covered up truths in the name of protecting his biological mother Maggie. Would this work for him or against him? Just one of the questions that may arise when you go on Brendan’s journey.
This is definitely a must read. Brendan carries the reader along on his voyage and heart-rending quest of almost a life time.
Review by Lorraine Parker
Tell No One is an all-consuming and remarkable revealing memoir. However, straight away I have to ask myself, (at this point rhetorically, “is it all that remarkable”!) Only the reader can answer that.
So very aptly named, it is the story of Brendan’s lifelong search to find his true biological identity and genetic inheritance. He was very fortunate in being adopted by a wonderful, loving and caring couple, Bet and Roy. They were devout Catholics and specially selected to adopt a second, ‘special baby’ in 1961. When he was just 8 years old, he and an elder ‘brother’ Damien, were told that they were adopted. With that the topic was seemingly closed.
However, Brendan felt that he did not belong and, as he grew older, was very much disturbed by the question of his birth parents. At the age of 24 he discovered, after much searching, that his birth mother was a nun. Her name was Maggie. How did he discovered this is just one part of his story. However he was told that she did not want anything to do with him. So began a lifelong quest, heightened, as time went by, and even more so, when Brendan married Kate and had two boys of his own.
Brendan made contact, many times, with Maggie, who eventually relented and met with him in her home. (This is eventually reveal)ed as a pivotal moment), Yes, he so longed to meet her but also in anticipation of information as to who his father was. Maggie cleverly remained in control of conversation and yielded not a thing.
The chapters called, Secrets, Lies, The Road, and finally Aftermath are a revelation of the Catholic Church and members within it, over several decades. (However, also a reflection of the changes in attitude of many institutions of the times). What makes Brendan’s story so fascinating and consuming is not only the fact that his biological father was a priest but that the actual relationship between a nun and a priest could become almost obliterated by the forces of individuals and the church. The relationship between Maggie and his father Vincent mesmerized Brendan. It was unfathomable.
I must add that Brendan himself also covered up truths in the name of protecting his biological mother Maggie. Would this work for him or against him? Just one of the questions that may arise when you go on Brendan’s journey.
This is definitely a must read. Brendan carries the reader along on his voyage and heart-rending quest of almost a life time.
March 19, 2024
Interesting recounting of an adoptee discovering he was the son of a catholic priest and nun. It raised the question of the rights of an adoptee to know their history versus the rights of a birth mother who was told her identity would always be hidden. The writer's birth mother was still alive while he was searching, while his priest father had died some years before. No surprise in the role the church played in actively concealing facts, and throwing up obstructions to the truth. No surprise, too, that the priest had no penalty or disruption to his life, while the birth mother's life was impacted for the rest of her life.
The middle section of the book dragged a little as the writer went on trip after trip to chase history about his father.
The middle section of the book dragged a little as the writer went on trip after trip to chase history about his father.
April 7, 2024
This book felt unnecessarily long that I found it hard to follow the timelines as I was not engaged throughout the story. While it had secrets, every chapter from the last section was perpetuating that a bigger secret was going to be uncovered but there wasn’t one by the end. I think a good 100 pages could have been removed if there wasn’t this constant desire to convince the reader that Father Vin was this awful secretive man taking advantage of women.
November 8, 2023
An interesting memoir by a man who finds out his parents are a Catholic priest and a catholic nun. The book explores his emotions and experiences as he grapples with this situation. I felt one of the saddest things about this story is that he feels obliged to keep his birth parents a secret. It seemed to me that he was indulging the church’s desire for secrecy.
May 22, 2024
DNF - subject matter sounded interesting but I found myself getting annoyed with the author. While I understand his need to understand where he came from I felt so much for his birth mother who had made it clear numerous times she did not want to engage and she was pushed and pushed until she had no choice.
September 24, 2023
A heart- breaking true story of a man who finds out he is adopted and spends decades on a painstaking and painful journey trying to find his birth parents. The catholic church has a lot to answer for.
April 15, 2025
As a fellow Australian adoptee I read this book with devout fervour. Congratulations Brendan! Brilliantly written and such an important work of adoptee truth telling.
My greatest hope is that our mothers feel increasingly safe enough to seek us out, but time is running out for all of us.
My greatest hope is that our mothers feel increasingly safe enough to seek us out, but time is running out for all of us.
April 26, 2025
An untold story of a man who was adopted finding out that his mother is a nun, and father is a priest. A great read about Brendan and his inner need to find out all he could about his parents. Only for things to be hidden because his father was a priest, and to protect The Catholic church.
August 15, 2023
I personally know 2 (ex?)nuns and though I am not a Christian I am familiar with the religion.Loved this memoir.
October 5, 2023
Very interesting read.
October 28, 2023
Shocking. Eye opening. This book exemplifies the corruption within, and control of people through religious organisations and underscores the hidden shame of the Catholic Church.
November 18, 2023
Such an interesting story, fascinating because it's true!
May 7, 2024
Brendan records his life well. The drawback for me is the fictional portrayal chapters.
June 4, 2025
Really interesting topic but every time I come across one of the fictionalised chapters from the perspective of the birth father I’m completely pulled out of the story.
July 27, 2025
A very sad story, told with honesty. Heart breaking at times.
August 30, 2025
Became a little repetitious.
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November 22, 2025What an incredible lived experience, told by a humble story teller.
September 17, 2023
Brendan found out he was adopted when he was 8 years old. His adoptive parents were amazing and loving. But when he was about to become a father, he thought he should try to find out just who his birth parents were. He never thought he would be the product of a Priest and a Nun!
This book was an interesting read and there were glimpses of humour throughout. It was definitely a different point of view from the usual non-consensual, child sex offences but it still brought up alot of mixed feelings.
This book was an interesting read and there were glimpses of humour throughout. It was definitely a different point of view from the usual non-consensual, child sex offences but it still brought up alot of mixed feelings.
September 13, 2023
A great book hard to put down. Very sad to read about all the "cover up" of forced adoptions by the Catholic church all those years ago. Sadly these lies continue in 2023. Hard to believe so many Priests fathered so many children and they were left abandoned. Brendan Watkins book has highlighted a very important and sad story of so much suffering by the sons and daughters of Priests and Nuns.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 16, 2023
A well written account of the journey that Brendan has been on to find out his biological parents. A fascinating tale which is heart breaking at times. An insight into the Catholic church again 'sweeping Priests mis doings under the carpet'. It is also thought provoking about what needs to be done and the lack of accountability that the church has taken. It is a story hard to put down.
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews