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Cherish the First Six Weeks: A Plan that Creates Calm, Confident Parents and a Happy, Secure Baby
From baby nurse to the stars, Helen Moon, a step-by-step plan to managing sleep and feeding issues to survive--and enjoy--the first six weeks of your newborn baby's life.Have you ever wondered why celebrities look so rested in such a short time after giving birth? The baby specialists like Helen Moon. A baby specialist and professional nanny for the past 25 years, Helen has worked closely with hundreds of families, including some of Hollywood's biggest stars. Helen knows that the first six weeks of a baby's life--when parents tend to be nervous, siblings are needy, and new babies need immediate and constant attention--has a huge impact on the entire family. Getting a baby on a sleeping and eating schedule is an achievable dream, and it's not a mystery. Helen's step-by-step plan shows new parents exactly how to integrate their baby into the family so that she will be able to sleep when she's tired, eat when she's hungry, and calm herself when she's fussy--self-regulating skills that will enable her to thrive for the rest of her life. Assured that their babies are secure and happy, parents can confidently enjoy this most precious time of their baby's life, trusting their own instincts, and--most importantly--sleeping through the night themselves!
322 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2013
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July 22, 2017
This book is a step-by-step guide to creating a daily routine with your newborn, including diapering, feeding, sleeping and soothing. In practical terms, the eventual goal of this routine is to help your baby sleep through the night (and nap well during the day) but it's more about creating security and structure for all members of the family. The philosophy is that parents act as guides, and baby looks to the parents to help her regulate and develop predictable routines that give her enough comfort and safety to be able to sleep on her own. I'd describe it as somewhere in the middle of the spectrum of approaches to baby sleep: the author is completely opposed to letting your baby cry, so this is not a cry-it-out or a sleep training method, but she also doesn't believe in a completely on-demand approach where parents conform to the baby's timeline at the expense of their own lives. It's an approach that involves routine and structure, with room for flexibility, and the author contends (and I agree) that it's totally compatible with attachment parenting, creating safety and trust between you and baby.
I will start by saying that this book appealed to me in my pregnancy because a) I had no idea what I was supposed to do with my baby once it arrived, and b) I sleep hard and was not interested in having my sleep interrupted longer than absolutely necessary. The book taught me exactly what to do with my newborn all day. The book is laid out week-by-week with a set of routinized practices and a schedule that is meant as a guide to be adapted as necessary. As someone who likes to know how to do things rather than flounder until I figure it out, this was hugely comforting. From the day my baby was born, I followed the routine of wake baby - diaper change - feed - diaper change - sleep (or playtime/social interaction as the weeks went by) and it worked extremely well. I noticed right away that if I had visitors over and wasn't protective of my baby's sleep time during the day, I paid for it later. I also noticed that I almost never had to change diapers "off-schedule" - before, after, and sometimes during a feed are basically the only times. And once my baby became more alert, I actually learned how to "play" with her and also recognize her sleepy signals so I could get her down before she got cranky (this becomes especially important once they start actually staying awake a bit - the schedule leaves a ton of flexibility between feeding times, so you really do need to learn to recognize baby's cues for when they're getting tired and ready for a nap). So in terms of knowing what to do with baby when they arrive, this book has you covered.
As for sleeping, especially at night, this is where the book felt magical to me. Maybe my baby just had the right personality, but I truly think that doing the work of practicing the routine and using the schedule really, really resulted in relatively glorious sleep for all of us. Yes, there were periods where baby only wanted to sleep in the swing, or in a carrier pressed against my chest for nap times. Yes, I still had trouble getting baby to nap sometimes, or times when she'd just scream and I couldn't figure out why. But because we started immediately with the routine, I believe it was ultimately comforting to baby, and by 4 weeks she was only waking up once in the night - and for some reason, even on days where she wouldn't nap unless I had her in my ring sling, she always went to bed in her bassinet (my point being that deviating from the script won't "spoil" everything). Each night she slept longer and longer - by 7 weeks, she was sleeping from her 10:00PM Dream Feed though to 5AM, just as the book says! (I didn't start working with the time-based schedule until week 4 - more details below). I didn't start the bedtime routine of a bath and massage until my baby was about 7 weeks, and it worked like a dream once I did. For when the 6 weeks are up, the book includes instructions on how to guide baby to sleeping from 7PM to 7AM by four or five months. I haven't gotten there yet, but so far this feels like some kind of beneficent sorcery. Whenever I share that my baby only wakes up once a night, people say I hit the jackpot and how lucky I am and how I shouldn't tell other parents about my good fortune. Maybe so, but I think it's also because I followed this book, creating predictable and comforting routines for my baby and helping her to feel safe falling asleep. And I'm sure there'll be fluctuation and challenges over time, like everyone has, but I feel hopeful that this has laid a foundation that will make things easier as we go. (Who knows - maybe I'll have a second baby and realize it was all just luck. But it can't all be!)
There are some downsides or warnings associated with this book that I need to mention. First, the book should come with a big gigantic caveat that even though it's intended to be started with baby in week 1 of its life, you absolutely cannot and should not even consider starting with the time-based schedule until feeding is working well. Breastfeeding was a nightmare for me at first - for about the first three weeks - and it stressed me out and made me feel like a failure that I couldn't follow the schedule. You can't feed your baby every two hours if the feeding itself takes that long, where she spends the first hour screaming, flailing and scratching at you as you attempt to breastfeed, and then the second hour eating lazily and needing to be woken up and prodded constantly. You just can't do it. So I didn't actually start the scheduled/timed feedings until week 4, when breastfeeding was going much better. However, because I had been following the feeding and sleeping routines regardless of the time of day (diaper, feed, diaper, swaddle, put baby down to sleep drowsy but not asleep), my baby just needed some slight tweaks to her times and she was all set. As the author says multiple times throughout the book, you can start the schedule anytime, and it should only take the baby a few days to move through each week's accomplishments if they're starting a bit later. This was true for me! And if you're bottle feeding, this probably won't be as much of an issue.
The other thing that I should mention is that, again, you really do have to remember to use your own intuition and your baby's temperament as guides. The author makes suggestions that may not work for you (for example, patting and shushing your baby if she fusses after going down for a nap - this never consoled my baby), and she also says to find what works for you (she shares an anecdote of a baby that she always had to play music and dance around with to soothe it). So take that to heart. You're not failing if you don't do everything exactly as she suggests. Use the structure and work within it according to your needs and those of your baby.
All in all, I was extremely happy with this book and recommend it to all new parents who find themselves unsure of what to do with their newborn, and who fall somewhere in the philosophical middle with respect to guiding their infant's sleep.
I will start by saying that this book appealed to me in my pregnancy because a) I had no idea what I was supposed to do with my baby once it arrived, and b) I sleep hard and was not interested in having my sleep interrupted longer than absolutely necessary. The book taught me exactly what to do with my newborn all day. The book is laid out week-by-week with a set of routinized practices and a schedule that is meant as a guide to be adapted as necessary. As someone who likes to know how to do things rather than flounder until I figure it out, this was hugely comforting. From the day my baby was born, I followed the routine of wake baby - diaper change - feed - diaper change - sleep (or playtime/social interaction as the weeks went by) and it worked extremely well. I noticed right away that if I had visitors over and wasn't protective of my baby's sleep time during the day, I paid for it later. I also noticed that I almost never had to change diapers "off-schedule" - before, after, and sometimes during a feed are basically the only times. And once my baby became more alert, I actually learned how to "play" with her and also recognize her sleepy signals so I could get her down before she got cranky (this becomes especially important once they start actually staying awake a bit - the schedule leaves a ton of flexibility between feeding times, so you really do need to learn to recognize baby's cues for when they're getting tired and ready for a nap). So in terms of knowing what to do with baby when they arrive, this book has you covered.
As for sleeping, especially at night, this is where the book felt magical to me. Maybe my baby just had the right personality, but I truly think that doing the work of practicing the routine and using the schedule really, really resulted in relatively glorious sleep for all of us. Yes, there were periods where baby only wanted to sleep in the swing, or in a carrier pressed against my chest for nap times. Yes, I still had trouble getting baby to nap sometimes, or times when she'd just scream and I couldn't figure out why. But because we started immediately with the routine, I believe it was ultimately comforting to baby, and by 4 weeks she was only waking up once in the night - and for some reason, even on days where she wouldn't nap unless I had her in my ring sling, she always went to bed in her bassinet (my point being that deviating from the script won't "spoil" everything). Each night she slept longer and longer - by 7 weeks, she was sleeping from her 10:00PM Dream Feed though to 5AM, just as the book says! (I didn't start working with the time-based schedule until week 4 - more details below). I didn't start the bedtime routine of a bath and massage until my baby was about 7 weeks, and it worked like a dream once I did. For when the 6 weeks are up, the book includes instructions on how to guide baby to sleeping from 7PM to 7AM by four or five months. I haven't gotten there yet, but so far this feels like some kind of beneficent sorcery. Whenever I share that my baby only wakes up once a night, people say I hit the jackpot and how lucky I am and how I shouldn't tell other parents about my good fortune. Maybe so, but I think it's also because I followed this book, creating predictable and comforting routines for my baby and helping her to feel safe falling asleep. And I'm sure there'll be fluctuation and challenges over time, like everyone has, but I feel hopeful that this has laid a foundation that will make things easier as we go. (Who knows - maybe I'll have a second baby and realize it was all just luck. But it can't all be!)
There are some downsides or warnings associated with this book that I need to mention. First, the book should come with a big gigantic caveat that even though it's intended to be started with baby in week 1 of its life, you absolutely cannot and should not even consider starting with the time-based schedule until feeding is working well. Breastfeeding was a nightmare for me at first - for about the first three weeks - and it stressed me out and made me feel like a failure that I couldn't follow the schedule. You can't feed your baby every two hours if the feeding itself takes that long, where she spends the first hour screaming, flailing and scratching at you as you attempt to breastfeed, and then the second hour eating lazily and needing to be woken up and prodded constantly. You just can't do it. So I didn't actually start the scheduled/timed feedings until week 4, when breastfeeding was going much better. However, because I had been following the feeding and sleeping routines regardless of the time of day (diaper, feed, diaper, swaddle, put baby down to sleep drowsy but not asleep), my baby just needed some slight tweaks to her times and she was all set. As the author says multiple times throughout the book, you can start the schedule anytime, and it should only take the baby a few days to move through each week's accomplishments if they're starting a bit later. This was true for me! And if you're bottle feeding, this probably won't be as much of an issue.
The other thing that I should mention is that, again, you really do have to remember to use your own intuition and your baby's temperament as guides. The author makes suggestions that may not work for you (for example, patting and shushing your baby if she fusses after going down for a nap - this never consoled my baby), and she also says to find what works for you (she shares an anecdote of a baby that she always had to play music and dance around with to soothe it). So take that to heart. You're not failing if you don't do everything exactly as she suggests. Use the structure and work within it according to your needs and those of your baby.
All in all, I was extremely happy with this book and recommend it to all new parents who find themselves unsure of what to do with their newborn, and who fall somewhere in the philosophical middle with respect to guiding their infant's sleep.
December 24, 2016
Updated review written after having baby: Now that I've gotten past and cherished those first 6 weeks I thought I'd go back and update my review and thought on Helen Moon's parent-driven newborn schedule. In the end, I took away several very important elements from Moon, such as establishing a semblance of a routine, which often comes naturally when you have a baby and they want to be fed every 2-3 hours anyway. But I realized that it's impossible to be as strict with routine as Moon suggests, because everything might be going perfectly in your routine and then something will go wrong to mess it up - a growth spurt, a stuffy nose, you ate the wrong thing and caused baby some gassiness, you went to the store and stayed too long and so baby's nap was too long, you desperately needed to shower, it took too long to get baby to sleep and now it's time for the next feeding, or I dunno, it's Tuesday and baby just doesn't feel like sleeping when he's supposed to. I read a great guide in an online blog that newborn scheduling is less like Bach and more like jazz, and thought that was a much better way to think about routines - just go with it.
And that's kind of the problem with relying on a book like this - if you focus too much on set routines, you may avoid your own instincts to do what you need to do and veer off the routine when you have to. When the baby is crying but they're not supposed to eat for another hour, or when they're supposed to eat but finally fell asleep and have only been sleeping 10 minutes and are now happy to doze away, or when nothing is working but bouncing or nursing them to sleep and putting them down asleep instead of sleepy. Doing what you need to do is what helps you stay sane in those first 6 weeks and actually cherish them instead of ripping all your hair out. While establishing a plan can give you confidence, nothing gives you more calm and security as a parent than understanding your baby's cues and following them, and thus destroying the plan when it doesn't work 100% of the time.
Review written before having baby: Written for the type A, schedule-oriented parent who hopes that their love of organization and scheduling will work with a baby. That's me, and so I fell in love with this book and am very hopeful that it actually works. I read this front to back while pregnant, though imagine will have to look again at it when baby actually arrives - doesn't seem to be made to read the way I did. Certainly succeeds in building confidence for new parents-to-be, now let's see if it really works!
And that's kind of the problem with relying on a book like this - if you focus too much on set routines, you may avoid your own instincts to do what you need to do and veer off the routine when you have to. When the baby is crying but they're not supposed to eat for another hour, or when they're supposed to eat but finally fell asleep and have only been sleeping 10 minutes and are now happy to doze away, or when nothing is working but bouncing or nursing them to sleep and putting them down asleep instead of sleepy. Doing what you need to do is what helps you stay sane in those first 6 weeks and actually cherish them instead of ripping all your hair out. While establishing a plan can give you confidence, nothing gives you more calm and security as a parent than understanding your baby's cues and following them, and thus destroying the plan when it doesn't work 100% of the time.
Review written before having baby: Written for the type A, schedule-oriented parent who hopes that their love of organization and scheduling will work with a baby. That's me, and so I fell in love with this book and am very hopeful that it actually works. I read this front to back while pregnant, though imagine will have to look again at it when baby actually arrives - doesn't seem to be made to read the way I did. Certainly succeeds in building confidence for new parents-to-be, now let's see if it really works!
Read
February 22, 2022Back in 2015, I said I was reserving judgment until I could put the advice into action. Well, it's 2022 and I have had three babies. So I have thoughts.
There are good and bad aspects to this book.
The good: Having an IDEA of what to expect in terms of a routine (wake, eat, interact, sleep X a million) was very important and helpful to this nervous, totally inexperienced, first-time, stay-at-home mother.
BUT, the bad, the book gives you an unrealistic expectation for what your newborn can do. Did my baby sleep through the night after the first six weeks? FUCK NO. (MOST) BABIES CAN'T DO THAT. (MOST) BABIES NEED TO BE ROCKED TO SLEEP. BABIES NEED WHAT THEY NEED WHEN THEY NEED IT.
Here is the number one thing that you need to know about a newborn baby: IF HE IS AWAKE AND FUSSY, HE'S PROBABLY HUNGRY SO FEED HIM. Even if it's not on the "schedule." My shorthand whenever a baby is awake but fussy is: FDR. First, check baby is FED. Next, check baby is DRY and clean. Next, make sure baby is RESTED. Later on, when baby is older, I added FDRBG. Check if baby is BORED. And finally if baby is GASSY.
The other good lessons from this book: View the suggested schedule not as a schedule but as a "routine." Do help your baby separate night and day with different cues. Do always put your baby to sleep in his crib, IF he will. Well-rested parents are better parents but you're not gonna be that for a long time, and it's okay.
As the saying goes, the proof of the pudding will be in the eating. And my puddin's are doing fine.
*******************************************************************
Reserving judgment until I can put this advice into action.
There are good and bad aspects to this book.
The good: Having an IDEA of what to expect in terms of a routine (wake, eat, interact, sleep X a million) was very important and helpful to this nervous, totally inexperienced, first-time, stay-at-home mother.
BUT, the bad, the book gives you an unrealistic expectation for what your newborn can do. Did my baby sleep through the night after the first six weeks? FUCK NO. (MOST) BABIES CAN'T DO THAT. (MOST) BABIES NEED TO BE ROCKED TO SLEEP. BABIES NEED WHAT THEY NEED WHEN THEY NEED IT.
Here is the number one thing that you need to know about a newborn baby: IF HE IS AWAKE AND FUSSY, HE'S PROBABLY HUNGRY SO FEED HIM. Even if it's not on the "schedule." My shorthand whenever a baby is awake but fussy is: FDR. First, check baby is FED. Next, check baby is DRY and clean. Next, make sure baby is RESTED. Later on, when baby is older, I added FDRBG. Check if baby is BORED. And finally if baby is GASSY.
The other good lessons from this book: View the suggested schedule not as a schedule but as a "routine." Do help your baby separate night and day with different cues. Do always put your baby to sleep in his crib, IF he will. Well-rested parents are better parents but you're not gonna be that for a long time, and it's okay.
As the saying goes, the proof of the pudding will be in the eating. And my puddin's are doing fine.
*******************************************************************
Reserving judgment until I can put this advice into action.
June 8, 2021
My baby is just finishing week 6, and this book has basically been my bible for having a newborn. I will buy this for any friend who has a baby as it has made the newborn phase SO much easier than I imagined was possible. Talking to other parents on various forums and in real life, my days and nights are SO much easier because of this book - I know when the baby will be eating and sleeping, so I can go and DO things during the day (with or without baby) and I'm consistently getting 6-7 hours of sleep now so feel like a fully functioning human and don't need any naps during the day. I think it's so valuable to be well-rested as a parent so you have the energy to play and engage with your baby and do things for yourself!
I found it quite easy to adapt my baby to the schedule. We started the second or third day home from the hospital and right from the start the feeding times worked really well for him and we adjusted right away. A lot of people I talk to are skeptical you can put a newborn baby on a schedule, but you absolutely can and it requires no neglect or crying it out. If you are having trouble with breastfeeding or if the baby has any health issues, you may want to check the schedule with your pediatrician, but otherwise I found it very easy to start right away.
Below are a few caveats about the book from the experience of a first-time mom. Don't be fooled by my lengthy caveats, I still give the book 5 stars! 90% of it works like a charm and has made everything so much easier, these are just tips to help other new parents with that last 10%:
1. The book is a little overly optimistic about how well everything will work ALL the time. Recognize that there will be days where things just don't go to plan and that's ok. The baby is supposed to sleep until 3 am but wakes up at 1:30 three nights in a row. Or the baby is really fussy one day and takes 2 hours to be put down and finally falls asleep 15 minutes before the next feeding (one time I made the mistake of waking him up for this feeding, but I recommend just letting them sleep in these cases!). Or you have an appointment or go out and the baby doesn't sleep well (or sleeps too long all cozy in their stroller or car seat) and the schedule gets thrown off. Just be flexible and go with the flow when needed, try to get back on track by the next feeding or worst case, tomorrow is a new day to reset. One thing I've learned with a new baby is everything is a phase and at this age, the phases only last a couple days at most. So if something is difficult today, just know it will pass very soon.
2. She recommends patting and shushing the baby to calm them down and not using pacifiers. That may be sufficient for a professional baby nurse but at least for me, this is just too hard. I found pacifiers to be a great tool and work so well if the baby is fussier than usual or just not quite as sleepy. And the patting and shushing literally never worked. I would always have to pick him up (or give him the pacifier) when he was crying.
3. She also seems to recommend the baby sleep in their crib or bassinet for all naps. But one of the best parts of having a newborn is the cuddles. I chose to be flexible and would have plenty of contact naps, stroller naps, or wrap naps. As long as he had 1-2 naps a day in his crib, I call that a success in terms of getting him used to it. I loved having options - if I felt like being lazy and cuddling with the baby while watching TV, I could! If I felt like doing stuff around the house, I could just as easily put him down and know exactly how long I had to get stuff done.
4. This last one is probably my biggest criticism of the book: At week 4, she adds into the schedule some awake time before the 7 pm feeding and bedtime. She says to wake the baby up at 6:30 (and 6 the next week, 5:30 the next), but not to feed him until 7. The problem is she NEVER explains why this is added to the schedule or more importantly, how the hell you are supposed to do this without making a very angry baby. My best guess is that the purpose of this wake up is so that they have some awake time before bedtime and are ready to sleep after they eat, but the baby will just cry the entire time until I feed him because he's used to being fed when I wake him up. How to make this work without a screaming baby is still a giant mystery to me here on Week 6. If you know please tell me.
Lastly, a few tips to complement the book that just made things even easier for me:
If you have a partner or family/friends around to help, one thing that worked really well for me was to have them take the baby after the 7 am feeding, and I would go back to sleep until 9:30/10. Getting those extra 2+ hours of sleep (without the baby in the room no less) made such a big difference and in those weeks I was getting 8-9 hours of sleep even after you account for the nighttime wake ups. I never thought that was possible with a 3 week old!
Lastly, I recommend pairing this book with Happiest Baby on the Block to really nail how to get them to sleep in their crib or bassinet. Use the 5 S's to get the baby into that nice drowsy-but-awake state and then lay them down. After the first couple nights where he would only sleep on us, I tried that to the letter and just like magic he drifted off to sleep in his bassinet. I would say that was the single most important skill to learn as a new parent. One other move we learned from the hospital that calms him instantly is to swaddle him, then hold him sitting upright with his back against your chest. Hold him with one hand under his bum and one on his tummy, then bounce up and down. We call this the magic bounce.
I found it quite easy to adapt my baby to the schedule. We started the second or third day home from the hospital and right from the start the feeding times worked really well for him and we adjusted right away. A lot of people I talk to are skeptical you can put a newborn baby on a schedule, but you absolutely can and it requires no neglect or crying it out. If you are having trouble with breastfeeding or if the baby has any health issues, you may want to check the schedule with your pediatrician, but otherwise I found it very easy to start right away.
Below are a few caveats about the book from the experience of a first-time mom. Don't be fooled by my lengthy caveats, I still give the book 5 stars! 90% of it works like a charm and has made everything so much easier, these are just tips to help other new parents with that last 10%:
1. The book is a little overly optimistic about how well everything will work ALL the time. Recognize that there will be days where things just don't go to plan and that's ok. The baby is supposed to sleep until 3 am but wakes up at 1:30 three nights in a row. Or the baby is really fussy one day and takes 2 hours to be put down and finally falls asleep 15 minutes before the next feeding (one time I made the mistake of waking him up for this feeding, but I recommend just letting them sleep in these cases!). Or you have an appointment or go out and the baby doesn't sleep well (or sleeps too long all cozy in their stroller or car seat) and the schedule gets thrown off. Just be flexible and go with the flow when needed, try to get back on track by the next feeding or worst case, tomorrow is a new day to reset. One thing I've learned with a new baby is everything is a phase and at this age, the phases only last a couple days at most. So if something is difficult today, just know it will pass very soon.
2. She recommends patting and shushing the baby to calm them down and not using pacifiers. That may be sufficient for a professional baby nurse but at least for me, this is just too hard. I found pacifiers to be a great tool and work so well if the baby is fussier than usual or just not quite as sleepy. And the patting and shushing literally never worked. I would always have to pick him up (or give him the pacifier) when he was crying.
3. She also seems to recommend the baby sleep in their crib or bassinet for all naps. But one of the best parts of having a newborn is the cuddles. I chose to be flexible and would have plenty of contact naps, stroller naps, or wrap naps. As long as he had 1-2 naps a day in his crib, I call that a success in terms of getting him used to it. I loved having options - if I felt like being lazy and cuddling with the baby while watching TV, I could! If I felt like doing stuff around the house, I could just as easily put him down and know exactly how long I had to get stuff done.
4. This last one is probably my biggest criticism of the book: At week 4, she adds into the schedule some awake time before the 7 pm feeding and bedtime. She says to wake the baby up at 6:30 (and 6 the next week, 5:30 the next), but not to feed him until 7. The problem is she NEVER explains why this is added to the schedule or more importantly, how the hell you are supposed to do this without making a very angry baby. My best guess is that the purpose of this wake up is so that they have some awake time before bedtime and are ready to sleep after they eat, but the baby will just cry the entire time until I feed him because he's used to being fed when I wake him up. How to make this work without a screaming baby is still a giant mystery to me here on Week 6. If you know please tell me.
Lastly, a few tips to complement the book that just made things even easier for me:
If you have a partner or family/friends around to help, one thing that worked really well for me was to have them take the baby after the 7 am feeding, and I would go back to sleep until 9:30/10. Getting those extra 2+ hours of sleep (without the baby in the room no less) made such a big difference and in those weeks I was getting 8-9 hours of sleep even after you account for the nighttime wake ups. I never thought that was possible with a 3 week old!
Lastly, I recommend pairing this book with Happiest Baby on the Block to really nail how to get them to sleep in their crib or bassinet. Use the 5 S's to get the baby into that nice drowsy-but-awake state and then lay them down. After the first couple nights where he would only sleep on us, I tried that to the letter and just like magic he drifted off to sleep in his bassinet. I would say that was the single most important skill to learn as a new parent. One other move we learned from the hospital that calms him instantly is to swaddle him, then hold him sitting upright with his back against your chest. Hold him with one hand under his bum and one on his tummy, then bounce up and down. We call this the magic bounce.
Read
April 28, 2024Wanted to wait until 4th trimester to rate this. Week 2 post-partum and I’ve thrown basically everything this book had to say out the window and I’m not miserable as I thought I would be 😂 Trust your instincts and hold your baby.
January 2, 2015
Below is original review I wrote before my baby was born.... Now I want to say... nope! Not a good book for first time parents! You cannot put a newborn on a schedule nor should you try to. After feeling like a failure for not hitting the mark for every week in this book, when Baby Girl was about 3 or 4 weeks old, I literally threw it in the trash. I've never done that with a book!! But it was just too stressful. Yes it gives a good glimpse at some things of what to expect from baby at certain stages and where you'll be at in your recovery..... but otherwise? Every baby and every parent and every household is different. Gotta learn to get to know your baby. I would highly advise NOT reading this book.
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I know it's impossible to have the perfect plan and that there will always be variation, but I think this book has given us a good start for the first 6 weeks!
My hubby and I started reading the book together, and he really didn't like a lot of the introductory material or the author's tone (he felt she was name dropping some of her celeb clients), and I agree the book just took a while to really get into the meat of it, but when it did, I was quite pleased. (I went on to read it alone and give him "cliff's notes" of the vital bits, which he enjoyed). It's an easy read and it's broken down well. A lot of books look at the baby's stages in months and I like the look at these early weeks, which really are so different from each other! So many changes happening in baby (and in postpartum mom!) In the end, Moon emphasizes that there's no right or wrong way to parent (as long as it's not abusive, of course!), and that the most important thing is enjoy your child and know you're the perfect person to guide your baby.
Throughout the book she emphasizes a stable feeding/napping/playing/sleeping schedule (right from week 1). She also discusses the different things you can expect to see from the baby and how to respond. A good guide!
Oh, I will add there are areas some tips she offers that were different from others that we've read. But I think it's good to get different perspectives and see what works for our baby. ;)
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I know it's impossible to have the perfect plan and that there will always be variation, but I think this book has given us a good start for the first 6 weeks!
My hubby and I started reading the book together, and he really didn't like a lot of the introductory material or the author's tone (he felt she was name dropping some of her celeb clients), and I agree the book just took a while to really get into the meat of it, but when it did, I was quite pleased. (I went on to read it alone and give him "cliff's notes" of the vital bits, which he enjoyed). It's an easy read and it's broken down well. A lot of books look at the baby's stages in months and I like the look at these early weeks, which really are so different from each other! So many changes happening in baby (and in postpartum mom!) In the end, Moon emphasizes that there's no right or wrong way to parent (as long as it's not abusive, of course!), and that the most important thing is enjoy your child and know you're the perfect person to guide your baby.
Throughout the book she emphasizes a stable feeding/napping/playing/sleeping schedule (right from week 1). She also discusses the different things you can expect to see from the baby and how to respond. A good guide!
Oh, I will add there are areas some tips she offers that were different from others that we've read. But I think it's good to get different perspectives and see what works for our baby. ;)
June 10, 2019
This book is unrealistic and quite frankly puts additional pressure on new parents.
January 29, 2025
I wanted to wait until I followed the plan in this book to write a review. This book has been so helpful in getting my baby to sleep well. I appreciate the gentle approach that encourages you to respond to your babies cries and still gets them to fall asleep themselves. While pregnant, I skimmed so many baby sleep books to find a gentle approach like this one and this book was the only one I found like this. This has made a night and day difference between my first and second baby. I’m hoping and praying the good sleep habits I’ve set with this book will stay. Also need to clarify my baby is still not sleeping through the night but this has just helped with him going to sleep.
January 10, 2022
Knyga, kurią dovanosiu kiekvienai besilaukiančiai draugei. Yra dalių, su kuriomis nesutinku, bet ir nereikia - tai ne taisyklės, o tiesiog puikios gairės, padedančios geriau suprasti savo vaiko elgseną ir poreikius bei kaip juos atliepti pirmąsias jo gyvenimo savaites.
Knyga suskirstyta pagal savaites, išskiriant, kas kiekvienoje specifiška - taip kas savaitę ją ir skaičiau.
Knyga suskirstyta pagal savaites, išskiriant, kas kiekvienoje specifiška - taip kas savaitę ją ir skaičiau.
Read
February 1, 2025The kind of child rearing book that seems to be written specifically to piss parents of twins off.
August 4, 2020
Writing this at 40 week of pregnancy, after attending courses, reading books, speaking with doulas. One big issue and potential danger i see with these advices of this book is swaddling. One doesn't swaddle baby up to 4 months of age, max 1 month is recommended (later it inhibits the development) , and there are babys that simply don't like it. Swaddling is not the same as being in mums belly , where baby can still move her legs and arms.
Secondly, the plan appears very rigid and hard to implement for 'beginners' such as fresh parents, who simply don't have the experience to troubleshoot and properly deal with all possible situations that can occur.
Sleeping from 7pm to 6:30 /7AM at the age of 4 months???? That sounds too early.
Apart from these, there are bunch of useful advices and i like insisting on teaching how to self-soothe, routine, consistency etc.
Somewhat condenscending tone is also a bit bah.
Alltogether 2.5, down-rounding to 2.
Secondly, the plan appears very rigid and hard to implement for 'beginners' such as fresh parents, who simply don't have the experience to troubleshoot and properly deal with all possible situations that can occur.
Sleeping from 7pm to 6:30 /7AM at the age of 4 months???? That sounds too early.
Apart from these, there are bunch of useful advices and i like insisting on teaching how to self-soothe, routine, consistency etc.
Somewhat condenscending tone is also a bit bah.
Alltogether 2.5, down-rounding to 2.
November 2, 2021
Bazė dienotvarkei gera ir labai aiškiai pateikta informacija. Taip pat daug papildomos info apie laukiančius augimo iššūkius, tavo kaip mamos pojūčius pirmomis savaitėmis, paaiškinimai apie kūdikio raidą. Beeet knyga naudojuosi kaip orientyru, nes 100% laikytis dienotvarkės dėl įvairių priežasčių neišeina ir galiausiai tu vistiek įsiklausai į savo kūdikio siunčiamus ženklus (įvairias pirmąsias kūdikio išraiškas ir komunikavimo formas, beje, taip pat aprašo knygoje). Be to, tobulu tėvu nebūsi, o ir nereikia, nes visi esame ir užaugame skirtingi 😊
December 16, 2020
A small book with some fundamentals of what is going to happen for you and your baby in first 6 weeks. You'll find a sleeping and breast feeding agenda for every week and tips how to make it work.
So far, the schedule works for us, so I definetely recommend reading this book if you are expecting or having a newborn less than 6 weeks.
So far, the schedule works for us, so I definetely recommend reading this book if you are expecting or having a newborn less than 6 weeks.
October 23, 2025
I very much like some of the ideas in this book: get your kid on a schedule, guide them to sleep and eat at times that make sense.
But omg I just want to slap the author. I found her demeanor SO annoying and pretentious.
But omg I just want to slap the author. I found her demeanor SO annoying and pretentious.
Read
November 20, 2023I thought this was fine but I take it with a grain of salt. It's presented as a pretty clear-cut set of plans and expectations for week 1, week 2, and so on, without much recognition of variation across children (for example, an early baby taking more time to nurse effectively). Still, it seemed like a useful ordinal guide if not a cardinal one, and I did learn some things.
January 17, 2023
Seems legit on this side of things (not having a baby yet), so we will reevaluate this rating soon LOL. I like the idea of being consistent and resilient to teach your baby cues on when they should be sleeping and eating. We’re excited to see if this works!
February 15, 2023
Cherish is a step by step manual for surviving and attempting to thrive in the first six weeks a child is born. As a first time mom, I appreciated the advice, and suggested structure. Although, I haven’t tested out Moon’s teachings yet I look forward to attempting the manual and may offer a better critique in the next few months.
September 3, 2017
A thoughtful approach to getting baby on a schedule from day 1. Honestly, this would have been handy to have read with my first. Although I appreciate reading it now, with the impending arrival of number two. One of the best parenting books I've read (dedicated to a short span of time, with lasting habit forming techniques and ramifications).
November 27, 2020
I may change my rating after actually giving birth and trying what is suggested, but this seems pretty legit to me.
April 18, 2020
I have no basis to assess whether this is good advice, but it certainly seems like it.
December 6, 2018
This should be required reading for all new parents!!
January 2, 2021
I loved the ideas in this book but they just aren’t working in actual real life for me. I am a type A personality who loves the idea of my baby sticking to a schedule and sleeping through the night. I just don’t understand how it actually happens though. Her schedules assume the baby just naturally sleeps in longer shifts each week and that if the baby wakes crying you can just pat it and shush it and the baby will fall back to sleep. Maybe she’s just much more skilled than me but that is nooooot happening for me. I did learn some good tips in this book but overall I found it to be unrealistic.
August 11, 2022
2nd time to read this and still love it. Very approachable and digestible schedule suggestions for having a newborn!
October 8, 2024
Been continuously referring back to this book throughout the first few weeks of being a parent. Great info overall!
October 15, 2015
It's still early days so I can't really say if (a) this book is absolutely amazing and has helped make a contented and secure infant of my child; or (b) this book is a load of crap and didn't work for my kid at all. There are a million and one parenting guides out there that offer sometimes conflicting advice, depending on the context and philosophy of the author. So what's an inexperienced and frazzled parent to do? Take the advice of these guides with a pinch of salt. See if the advice gels with your own philosophy and values (if you can't bear to have your kid cry it out to train him to self soothe, then don't do it) and most importantly - does it work for your kid? So why three stars for a book with as yet untested advice? Because it's short, easy to read (very important for new parents short on sleep, space and time for reading) and offers fumbling parents comfort in its week by week guide to caring for your newborn. So rather than overwhelm new parents with a plethora of information and things to bear in mind, Cherish the First Six Weeks breaks it down into bite sized and hopefully less intimidating and confusing chunks.
July 10, 2024
Atrodo too good to be true. Bet o vis dėl to, gal suveiks? Nes idėjiškai knyga man patinka, tai tiesiog praktinis vadovas, kaip sukurti vaikui rutiną. Pasistengsiu nepamiršti paupdeitinti, kai jau bus pabanduta praktikoje.
Upd.: it is too good to be true 😂 Eina 5sav. Jei bandyčiau savo naujagimiui tokią rutiną, kaip knygoje, tai turėčiau 50% laiko žviegiantį kūdikį ir pervargusią save. Ką pasiėmėm nuo pirmų dienų - vakarinio ritualo laikas ir kėlimosi ryte laikas daugmaž panašus. Visa kita - žiūrim pagal vaiką. Gerą dieną gal ir natūraliai tokia rutina gaunasi, bet pvz karšta - vaikas nori daugiau žįsti, augimo šuolis - dažniau žįsti, daug įspūdžių dieną - atspėjot, vaikas norės dažniau žįsti ir viso gero rutinai kas 3h. Sauskelnių keitimas kartą po miegelio? Nejuokaukit. Kartais kartą. O kartais per vieną būdravimo langą ir 3. Žodžiu, kaip ir galima tikėtis, kūdikiai - ne robotukai ir knygos rutina pavyks mažumai, ir greičiausiai per didelius vargus arba tiesiog sutaps, kad vaiko natūraliai tokia rutina. Turėdama kūdikį knygos nerekomenduočiau naujiems tėvams :)
Upd.: it is too good to be true 😂 Eina 5sav. Jei bandyčiau savo naujagimiui tokią rutiną, kaip knygoje, tai turėčiau 50% laiko žviegiantį kūdikį ir pervargusią save. Ką pasiėmėm nuo pirmų dienų - vakarinio ritualo laikas ir kėlimosi ryte laikas daugmaž panašus. Visa kita - žiūrim pagal vaiką. Gerą dieną gal ir natūraliai tokia rutina gaunasi, bet pvz karšta - vaikas nori daugiau žįsti, augimo šuolis - dažniau žįsti, daug įspūdžių dieną - atspėjot, vaikas norės dažniau žįsti ir viso gero rutinai kas 3h. Sauskelnių keitimas kartą po miegelio? Nejuokaukit. Kartais kartą. O kartais per vieną būdravimo langą ir 3. Žodžiu, kaip ir galima tikėtis, kūdikiai - ne robotukai ir knygos rutina pavyks mažumai, ir greičiausiai per didelius vargus arba tiesiog sutaps, kad vaiko natūraliai tokia rutina. Turėdama kūdikį knygos nerekomenduočiau naujiems tėvams :)
May 6, 2019
I started reading this before my (first) baby was born last month. I've worked hard at following Helen's tips and schedule and it's definitely paid off this far. My now 5 week old is on a consistent routine of eating and sleeping. He eats every three hours just as Helen's schedule sets up. He doesn't sleep for six hours at night as Helen says they can do by now, but he sleeps for 4-5 hours which is great! This book prepared me for caring for a newborn in many ways.
* 3 years later and pregnant again: I swear this book is the foundation for why my now toddler is still a great sleeper and eater! This book truly gave me the peace & confidence I needed as a new mother. I’m looking forward to using her methods again with my new baby!
* 3 years later and pregnant again: I swear this book is the foundation for why my now toddler is still a great sleeper and eater! This book truly gave me the peace & confidence I needed as a new mother. I’m looking forward to using her methods again with my new baby!
October 1, 2013
This book was written by a baby nurse. And if you can't afford to hire one, this is the next best thing. It offers some great advice and baby schedule/routine and how to care for a newborn.
I found this to be helpful in so many ways. I have a baby schedule/routine now that I am striving for. I also have used a lot of the useful advice. However, there are some tips that have not worked for me. Shushing the child to sleep in the crib did not work. It also just feels wrong. I simply do not agree with every piece of advice given but I do highly recommend that new families read this.
I found this to be helpful in so many ways. I have a baby schedule/routine now that I am striving for. I also have used a lot of the useful advice. However, there are some tips that have not worked for me. Shushing the child to sleep in the crib did not work. It also just feels wrong. I simply do not agree with every piece of advice given but I do highly recommend that new families read this.
January 10, 2024
To this day, this is still the most valuable book I've read on caring for your baby. I recommend it to any (future) parents. You'll win back the time you spent reading this book in a few days.
If you follow Helen Moon's advice from this book, the first weeks will definitely be more challenging and more intense. Fortunately, this will yield significant dividends later on.
I've read this book two times. My wife, who is not a reader, even read and enjoyed it. I would reread it if we were to get a second baby.
If you follow Helen Moon's advice from this book, the first weeks will definitely be more challenging and more intense. Fortunately, this will yield significant dividends later on.
I've read this book two times. My wife, who is not a reader, even read and enjoyed it. I would reread it if we were to get a second baby.
February 28, 2014
I kind of hated this book (was gifted to me at my baby shower). Her tone really annoyed me, and while she tells you about all the conflicting information out there in her introduction and lightly lays out her philosophy, she goes back and contradicts some of those things when going into detail later. Some of the "scheduling" seems practical if you're at home, but she is just a little too harsh and rigid. Might give some of her ideas a try, but I'm not stressed about it.
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