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Why I Believed: Reflections of a Former Missionary by Kenneth W Daniels
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June 2, 2024
A “DECONVERSION” STORY THAT EXPLAINS IN DETAIL HIS REASONS FOR CHANGING
Author Kenneth Daniels is a former evangelical missionary with Wycliffe Bible Translators. He wrote in the Preface to this 2009 book, “This book is the story of what happened as the foundation of my faith turned to quicksand beneath my feet. In this volume I present in some detail the problems I encountered with the claims of Christianity while serving as an evangelical missionary in Africa… This is the story of how I studied the details of Christianity and found it wanting… This book is not a treatise on the factors that have contributed to the rise of religion in human history… My effort is a more limited retrospective on the reasons for my particular brand of Christian belief, as best as I can recall them.”
In the first chapter, he explains, “My desire is to present the seldom-heard perspective of one whose life was formerly defined FOR DECADES by his commitment to Jesus and who continues to life successfully with family and friends to retain that commitment. This book brings together the most important factors contributing to my particular journey away from faith. My reasons for taking up this cause are quite personal… [I wish to] instill in others an appreciation for, if not full acceptance of, the reasons for my unbelief.” (Pg. 4-5) He adds, “I do not relish knowing that others consider me to be on the road to eternal damnation if I don’t repent, and I want to do that I can to change their perception of those of us who do not share their faith.” (Pg. 6) And, “my aim is to ask readers to reconsider at least a few of their convictions… I recognize that I cannot ask you simply to jettison your faith as if it were a common pair of trousers. My own transition was long and painful…” (Pg. 13)
He recounts that during his senior year at college, “It was the book ‘Christianity and the Age of the Earth’ by Christian geologist Davis Young, that had convinced me I had been wrong about the age of the earth and that my reasons for believing in a young earth had been merely illusory. However, I never entertained the thought that evolution as an overarching concept could be true… I now feel that this transition to ole earth creationism was significant in that it introduced a tendency on my part to rely on physical and historical evidence to interpret the Bible rather than strictly the other way around.” (Pg. 22)
He recalls, “Not wanting to give up the faith that had been so dear to me for so long, I searched the Internet for some helpful apologetic articles. I had heard that Clark Pinnock was an apologist of a more scholarly caliber than Josh McDowell, so I searched for his name. Instead… I found an online book referencing him entitled ‘Beyond Born Again’ by Robert M. Price… his was the first book I had read specifically attacking evangelicalism, and it was compelling, throwing my already fragile faith into a tailspin. I don’t believe I would have been willing to listen to anything he had to say had it not been for my prior misgivings about the Old Testament... every new discovery I made [confirmed] my suspicions that the Bible is man-made from start to finish.” (Pg. 30-31)
He muses, “I was convinced that if I were to abandon my faith, it would amount to aiding and abetting the ‘bad guys,’ lading to personal and cultural ruin… now I simply ask rhetorically, Why? Why should I have felt that abandoning my faith would NECESSARILY entail moral decline? If I considered Christian virtues to be good while still a believer, why should they all suddenly cease to be good after leaving the faith? I was misguided to think that adultery, for example, might suddenly become more attractive if I were to lose my accountability to the god of the Bible.” (Pg. 77-78)
He observes after considering various arguments for God, “The appeal of theistic arguments is their grounding in common sense, which tells us, for example, that whatever begins to exist has a cause. Unfortunately, common sense has also told us that the earth is flat and that the sun goes around the earth, revealing that our intuition can sometimes be an unreliable guide. The appropriate course for us to take in the face of the uncertainty surrounding the origin of the universe, then, is to hold our ideas lightly until they can be tested and confirmed.” (Pg. 148)
He suggests, “I hold out deism as an alternative to agnosticism or atheism for those who have come to the conclusion that the Christian faith is untenable but who remain convinced of God’s existence. I recognize that many atheists will find this concession disingenuous, but in my own experience, it would have been too great a leap for me to have transitioned straightaway from Christian theism to agnosticism or atheism. Atheists who cannot accept this concession should ask themselves whether they would prefer that everyone remain fundamentalists for fear of becoming atheists, or whether they would prefer that more fundamentalists become deists, abandoning the obscurantism, persecuting zeal, and belief in hellfire that [evangelicals accept].” (Pg. 158)
He argues, “The ‘prophecy’ of the suffering servant in Isaiah 53 seems amazing for those who accept the Christian assumptions about the purpose of Jesus’ death, but most of what it refers to is spiritual in nature, so it was possible to apply it to Jesus or to any other righteous person who was unjustly executed. There are a few physical references in the passage, most notably with the servant’s being pierced (which could mean on a cross or with a sword or spear; being pierced has been a common enough method of execution throughout history) but also to his being ‘crushed.’ It is not legitimate to focus literally on ‘pierced’ as a miraculous prophecy of Jesus’ crucifixion while viewing ‘crushed’ in a more figurative sense. Those who wish to employ the literal meaning of the first to posit a fulfilled prophecy must, in order to be consistent, accept the second as a failed prophecy must, in order to be consistent, accept the second as a failed prophecy, since John 20:36 testifies that ‘not one of his bones was broken.’” (Pg. 213)
Of the miracles supposedly performed by the wise men of Pharaoh, “Some would argue that Satan indeed does have such powers (though of course the exodus text does not mention Satan….) … But such a view runs perilously close to dualism… how do we distinguish between God’s miracles and Satan’s? Admitting that Satan can perform such acts invalidates the gospel’s argument from miracle.” (Pg. 272)
He notes, “Indeed, were it not for the insidious doctrine of hell, it is not likely I would have undertaken to write this book or to oppose Christianity in any public way. If you have sensed any passion in my previous chapters, it pales in comparison with my passion against this one human teaching, this assertion that so effectively paralyzed millions and ensures they never give a fleeting thought to an alternative worldview.” (Pg. 303)
He concludes, “On the one hand I do feel the pain of no longer being able to see eye to eye with many of my friends and family. I live in a degree of tension with my friends stemming from our philosophical differences; it is sometimes difficult for us to accept each other for who we are rather than for what we’d like each other to become. And… I still do occasionally… feel the sting of knowing my life lacks the cosmic significance I once thought it had. On the other hand, hardly a day goes by without my feeling a sense of RELIEF over no longer having to defend the indefensible… I have come to accept that I don’t have to know more than that which is knowable… I feel a great sense of freedom in uncovering truth from a wide variety of sources, without feeling constrained to relate every finding to an orthodox biblical framework whose old wineskins have burst…” (Pg. 317-318)
This book will be of great interest to Atheists, Skeptics and other Freethinkers, as well as those interested in “deconversion” stories.
Author Kenneth Daniels is a former evangelical missionary with Wycliffe Bible Translators. He wrote in the Preface to this 2009 book, “This book is the story of what happened as the foundation of my faith turned to quicksand beneath my feet. In this volume I present in some detail the problems I encountered with the claims of Christianity while serving as an evangelical missionary in Africa… This is the story of how I studied the details of Christianity and found it wanting… This book is not a treatise on the factors that have contributed to the rise of religion in human history… My effort is a more limited retrospective on the reasons for my particular brand of Christian belief, as best as I can recall them.”
In the first chapter, he explains, “My desire is to present the seldom-heard perspective of one whose life was formerly defined FOR DECADES by his commitment to Jesus and who continues to life successfully with family and friends to retain that commitment. This book brings together the most important factors contributing to my particular journey away from faith. My reasons for taking up this cause are quite personal… [I wish to] instill in others an appreciation for, if not full acceptance of, the reasons for my unbelief.” (Pg. 4-5) He adds, “I do not relish knowing that others consider me to be on the road to eternal damnation if I don’t repent, and I want to do that I can to change their perception of those of us who do not share their faith.” (Pg. 6) And, “my aim is to ask readers to reconsider at least a few of their convictions… I recognize that I cannot ask you simply to jettison your faith as if it were a common pair of trousers. My own transition was long and painful…” (Pg. 13)
He recounts that during his senior year at college, “It was the book ‘Christianity and the Age of the Earth’ by Christian geologist Davis Young, that had convinced me I had been wrong about the age of the earth and that my reasons for believing in a young earth had been merely illusory. However, I never entertained the thought that evolution as an overarching concept could be true… I now feel that this transition to ole earth creationism was significant in that it introduced a tendency on my part to rely on physical and historical evidence to interpret the Bible rather than strictly the other way around.” (Pg. 22)
He recalls, “Not wanting to give up the faith that had been so dear to me for so long, I searched the Internet for some helpful apologetic articles. I had heard that Clark Pinnock was an apologist of a more scholarly caliber than Josh McDowell, so I searched for his name. Instead… I found an online book referencing him entitled ‘Beyond Born Again’ by Robert M. Price… his was the first book I had read specifically attacking evangelicalism, and it was compelling, throwing my already fragile faith into a tailspin. I don’t believe I would have been willing to listen to anything he had to say had it not been for my prior misgivings about the Old Testament... every new discovery I made [confirmed] my suspicions that the Bible is man-made from start to finish.” (Pg. 30-31)
He muses, “I was convinced that if I were to abandon my faith, it would amount to aiding and abetting the ‘bad guys,’ lading to personal and cultural ruin… now I simply ask rhetorically, Why? Why should I have felt that abandoning my faith would NECESSARILY entail moral decline? If I considered Christian virtues to be good while still a believer, why should they all suddenly cease to be good after leaving the faith? I was misguided to think that adultery, for example, might suddenly become more attractive if I were to lose my accountability to the god of the Bible.” (Pg. 77-78)
He observes after considering various arguments for God, “The appeal of theistic arguments is their grounding in common sense, which tells us, for example, that whatever begins to exist has a cause. Unfortunately, common sense has also told us that the earth is flat and that the sun goes around the earth, revealing that our intuition can sometimes be an unreliable guide. The appropriate course for us to take in the face of the uncertainty surrounding the origin of the universe, then, is to hold our ideas lightly until they can be tested and confirmed.” (Pg. 148)
He suggests, “I hold out deism as an alternative to agnosticism or atheism for those who have come to the conclusion that the Christian faith is untenable but who remain convinced of God’s existence. I recognize that many atheists will find this concession disingenuous, but in my own experience, it would have been too great a leap for me to have transitioned straightaway from Christian theism to agnosticism or atheism. Atheists who cannot accept this concession should ask themselves whether they would prefer that everyone remain fundamentalists for fear of becoming atheists, or whether they would prefer that more fundamentalists become deists, abandoning the obscurantism, persecuting zeal, and belief in hellfire that [evangelicals accept].” (Pg. 158)
He argues, “The ‘prophecy’ of the suffering servant in Isaiah 53 seems amazing for those who accept the Christian assumptions about the purpose of Jesus’ death, but most of what it refers to is spiritual in nature, so it was possible to apply it to Jesus or to any other righteous person who was unjustly executed. There are a few physical references in the passage, most notably with the servant’s being pierced (which could mean on a cross or with a sword or spear; being pierced has been a common enough method of execution throughout history) but also to his being ‘crushed.’ It is not legitimate to focus literally on ‘pierced’ as a miraculous prophecy of Jesus’ crucifixion while viewing ‘crushed’ in a more figurative sense. Those who wish to employ the literal meaning of the first to posit a fulfilled prophecy must, in order to be consistent, accept the second as a failed prophecy must, in order to be consistent, accept the second as a failed prophecy, since John 20:36 testifies that ‘not one of his bones was broken.’” (Pg. 213)
Of the miracles supposedly performed by the wise men of Pharaoh, “Some would argue that Satan indeed does have such powers (though of course the exodus text does not mention Satan….) … But such a view runs perilously close to dualism… how do we distinguish between God’s miracles and Satan’s? Admitting that Satan can perform such acts invalidates the gospel’s argument from miracle.” (Pg. 272)
He notes, “Indeed, were it not for the insidious doctrine of hell, it is not likely I would have undertaken to write this book or to oppose Christianity in any public way. If you have sensed any passion in my previous chapters, it pales in comparison with my passion against this one human teaching, this assertion that so effectively paralyzed millions and ensures they never give a fleeting thought to an alternative worldview.” (Pg. 303)
He concludes, “On the one hand I do feel the pain of no longer being able to see eye to eye with many of my friends and family. I live in a degree of tension with my friends stemming from our philosophical differences; it is sometimes difficult for us to accept each other for who we are rather than for what we’d like each other to become. And… I still do occasionally… feel the sting of knowing my life lacks the cosmic significance I once thought it had. On the other hand, hardly a day goes by without my feeling a sense of RELIEF over no longer having to defend the indefensible… I have come to accept that I don’t have to know more than that which is knowable… I feel a great sense of freedom in uncovering truth from a wide variety of sources, without feeling constrained to relate every finding to an orthodox biblical framework whose old wineskins have burst…” (Pg. 317-318)
This book will be of great interest to Atheists, Skeptics and other Freethinkers, as well as those interested in “deconversion” stories.
Displaying 1 of 1 review