Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

by Rhonda Stoppe

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of ministering to youth and to women and from her own parenting experience, Rhonda provides refreshingly relevant guidance, biblical and contemporary examples, and humorous insights to help each reader discover Packed with practical help from parenting experts and other moms, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Christian, Family, Christianity

224 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2013

About the author

Rhonda Stoppe is an accomplished and enthusiastic Christian speaker who has spent more than 20 years in ministry to youth and women. Also a pastor's wife, she and her husband, Steve, minister in Northern California and have four grown children--two sons and two daughters.

Reviews

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a mother to a 19 month-old boy with another boy on the way in April, I was incredibly intrigued by this book. Ultimately I am glad I read it; there are so many worthwhile aspects regarding being a Christian mom to boys. Some aspects are things that are good reminders of how I want to raise my boys and some are things I never even thought about. Some ideas she touches on are: raising a son to learn about his worth in Christ, reminding him that when he obeys you he obeys God, and to learn when you need to pull away as a parent. It never occurred to me that my son might want to separate himself from me when he hits his teen years. Rhonda Stoppe gives the sage advice to let the father handle matters for a while, especially if trying to deal with your son is putting a rift in your relationship when he is attempting to find his way as a man. Coincidentally, I was talking with a woman from the church today and she mentioned a recent incident with her son where her normally sweet, sensitive boy was being irritable and pulling away. (And he’s in our youth group, so I know this behavior is atypical for him. But even nice boys go through growing pains!) The woman talked about how she would direct her son to her husband and that this made a world of difference. Fortunately, the behavior was just for a while but I’m sure the next time it rears its ugly head she will follow suit. I just never had thought of a time when my son might push away from me as he tries to figure out his own manhood.

I was not so impressed with the “perfectness” of her implementation of discipline. She has a few anecdotes that I could use as an example of this, but having a toddler, I was particularly irked by the specific example she gave of teaching her daughter (in a book about sons) how to not pick up breakables. She claimed that all it took was a couple of hours of deliberate training with clear, consistent consequences and following-through on punishment. (She also neglects to state what the punishment for picking them up was.) That’s it: a couple of hours and her daughter was never to pick up a breakable trinket again. Now, I have been working with my son for months on a few bad behaviors with clear, consistent consequences and follow-through with punishment to little avail. Her near-perfect training session made me feel that either a) my son isn’t as “good” as her daughter or b) I’m not as good of a mother. I really shouldn’t be feeling either of these things and I think to not recognize other’s struggles with discipline or to mention her own struggles is doing a disservice to the reader. She makes note that she wasn’t a perfect mother but it’s hard to find her battles in the stories of this book.

I come away from this book with mixed feelings. I am a big believer in not throwing the baby out with the bathwater so my goal is to carry the good with me and forget about the irksome portions of this read. The book contains enough valuable insights that I would recommend this to my fellow Christian mothers with sons. Being a mother is our most important ministry and this book refocused me on that mission. And being a mother to a son is its own challenge (not that raising daughters isn’t; I just don’t have the pleasure of worrying about that! Yet…)

[Gretchen Garrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Five stars is not enough for this book. This one was a game changer - really a life changer for me. I listened to this one, and I felt like I was receiving biblical wisdom from a mentor sitting across the table from me. Sometimes parenting books can make you feel inept and and like a failure. The stories that she shared and the verses that she applied to parenting inspired me.

The author does not claim to be an expert. Instead she shares her own stories of parenting in the trenches. Now she is a grandmother. The fact that she is presenting tried and true advice from her own failures and successes makes a difference - there is value in the legitimacy of her experiences. Solid gold suggestions.

This book is not geared only toward single moms. But it is focused on how every mom can make a difference in the lives of her son(s). I have three boys that are in their teens, and I feel like the application was as practical for me as for a mom who has just started the parenting process. Some of the tips also apply to the raising of our daughter.

Rather than minimizing the impact that dads make, this book talks about how moms can pass on the baton to fathers at certain key moments. And for those without a father figure, finding a godly man to be a mentor is definitely encouraged. Boys need dads as they grow to maturity. I feel like I can better support my husbkah. and's influence because I was reminded again just as to how important his part is in the process.

This may not be the book for you if you are opposed to the Bible. Scripture is definitely an important part of this title. I feel like the author applied verses and stories in an enlightening way. She did not take anything out of context.

The one who impacted me the most was her telling about Rebekah. I had not noticed before as to how much her manipulation in Genesis 27 and 28 ended up destroying her family. By making things happen, she rushed ahead of God's plans and created chaos. May I never resort to that approach.

This will be a book that I consult again. It may become an annual listen or read. This is a book that I will be gifting to new moms. I have already personally recommended this one to so many people.

I appreciated being provided a copy of the audiobook as a part of a book tour. I did not have to review this book. But I definitely wanted to do so. All opinions are my own.

[Christi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been blessed to be the mom of two amazing boys, but there are times I wonder if I am doing it right. I have always been a girly girl by nature, so when I ended up with all boys to raise it was a little bit of shell shock, to say the least. Luckily I have learned on the job, and grew with them, but I wish I would've had a resource like Moms Raising Sons to Be Men when they were younger. However, I am thankful that I have this resource now and can still apply many of the applications to my parenting arsenal, even with my boys being teenagers.

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men is full of practical applications and helpful Scripture references that led me to further study, going even beyond parenting. I listened to the audiobook, but I am seriously considering purchasing a physical copy so I can take more notes.

One thing I loved about the audiobook was how calming Rhonda Stoppe's voice is! This book was perfect to listen to while driving to appointments, and brought up so many good points that got me really thinking about how I parent my boys, and adjustments I can make to help them better become men, while at said appointments. Rhonda has a good pace, the different sections are easy to recognize, and I never felt myself lost, even with having to start and stop several times.

One of the biggest parts that has continued to stick with me was letting my boys go, and trusting that God will take care of them. My boys are 16 and 14, so the thought of them leaving the nest is very real, very scary, and happening sooner than I'd care to admit. The thought of them being out in this scary world alone is frightening! But I've always had a strong faith for myself, so why wouldn't I have that same faith with my boys?

Listening to Rhonda was like listening to a friend give advice, and discuss their faith and the Bible, and I could see this being a wonderful resource for a Christian mom group, as well as for personal study. I can't rave about Moms Raising Sons to Be Men enough and highly recommend!

*I have voluntarily reviewed a copy of this audiobook which I received from the author/publisher through JustRead Tours. All views and opinions are completely honest, and my own.

[Yvonne]

I can remember when we found out our second child was going to be a boy. While I was excited and joyful, there was also a sense of worry. I was confident with raising our daughter, now God was giving me a new path. Immediately, I began to doubt my skills as a parent. I take my role as mom pretty seriously, while I am teaching my children everyday life skills, I also am teaching them how to walk with God. Raising a Godly woman is something I can do by example for my daughter, but how do I do this for my son?

Rhonda Stoppe shares personal stories of her parenting her sons. I enjoy reading books that share real life situations, it makes it more tangible. There is also a good amount shared from the Bible. For example, a story that really stuck out in my head was how God said He was going to bless Jacob. When it came time for Isaac to give his blessing to his children, Rachel stepped ahead of God and had Jacob steal Esau’s blessing. In doing so Rachel caused great discord between Jacob and Esau causing Jacob to flee.

While I know God has a plan for my son, I know there may be times I have to let go and let God. I am not saying this is going to be easy but after reading more about Rachel, you have to wonder if she just trusted God and His timing, how the story would be. I know that this is also important for my son to see, it is important for him to see my obedience to God.

We homeschool so I spend a lot of time with my children on a daily basis. They see a lot of my failures and successes, I pray that above all they see my love, trust, and obedience to God. So while this book focused more on raising sons, it was easy for me to also draw some of these principles for raising my daughter too.

Each chapter ends with a few questions to ponder and the website has video re-caps for each chapter. I thought those features were a nice bonus to the book. This is also a book that I would probably highlight and write in if I had a physical copy. I would read it one or two chapters a day in order to fully take in the principles and messages shared.

~ I received a complimentary copy of this book, all thoughts and opinions are my own.

[Becca (Reflections From My Bookshelves) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a devotional book about raising boys to be men. As a mom of two young boys, I was interested in this book.  I liked that it was directed at mom's with boys and not just general parenting.  It's easy to read chapters and questions at the end makes this book approachable. I really liked how much scripture was used in this book. It's not a devotional that says Here's what I think and here are some scripture that go with it.  Instead she weaves scripture throughout each topic and points back to what the Lord says about it not just her own opinion. I like how she uses mom's from the Bible for examples.  She makes it relevent to today's mom. The main thing I got from this book is pursue a relationship with the Lord. This will help you know how to be the mom the Lord intended for you to be. I really liked this comment below. 

"The more disciplined you are in fixing your eyes on Jesus, the more the Lord will teach you to rest in His sovereignty over life’s events. And when your son observes your calm assurance in Christ, he will learn—from your example—how to trust the Lord in all the circumstances of his life." Excerpt From: "Moms Raising Sons to Be Men" by Rhonda Stoppe. on Scribd.

It's directed at mom's with boys but I do feel that even if you don't have boys, it's worth listening to. There is just so much truth in this book that you can apply to your own life. 

I listened to part of this as an audiobook. Rhonda Stoppe narrates her own book and has an easy to listen to voice. She spoke clearly and I was able to follow along well. It's a good book to listen to as you go about your day whether in the car, doing laundry, making dinner or relaxing. 

I recommend this book to my family and friends. 

I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book which I received from the publisher. All views expressed are only my honest opinion.

[Mimi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being a mom of 2 grown boys, I think this is an incredible resource for any mom of a boy(s)! The author make sure every mom knows the most important piece of raising boys - God. Everything we do as moms should point our boys to God. Listen, we're not perfect and that needs to be kept in mind no matter what parenting resource we use.

The author gives incredible examples of men and women of the Bible who either should be given as examples to our boys or as moms we should emulate. Another aspect that I can't say enough about is being surrounded by other believing moms who will come alongside you on this parenting journey. I remember how much I relied on my friends when I was a single mom to help me pray for my children and to encourage me.

There are so many nuggets of wisdom to take away from this book. She has 7 principles that she goes through to help you with raising your sons. Scripture you can turn to, the importance of prayer, your example, and so much more have a profound impact on your son(s). Yes, my boys are grown now, but I STILL put int lots of bookmarks throughout listening to the book. I think this is one of those books we should gift to moms when they give birth to little boys so they can see the importance of starting off right!

As Christian parents we have a duty to raise our kids, not just our sons, to know the Lord. We, as moms, have the most profound effect on our boys. These little boys become men one day and how do we want them to turn out? Do we want them to be thoughtful, kind, loving, etc? If so, we need to start training them up from the start to love God.

*I received this book for review. This is my personal opinion.

[Angela Kreais · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this book over the course of a week. The audiobook is divided into two parts: Lessons from Moms of the Bible, and Guide Your Son Toward Godly Manhood. I have read the bible, I am familiar with some of the stories the author references. Listening to her describe those bible stories from a mother's point of view made me appreciate them more. I love connecting myself to the bible like that. The bible is God's guide and instructions to us even for common parenting struggles that we deal with.

The second part of this book is about raising sons with Godly characteristics and biblical thinking. I have a stepson that I have been around since he was 3 years old. Its hard sometimes, wanting to take care of and protect children while also wanting them to be productive and successful humans. There was a part in this book where Rhonda shared a story about having an argument with her son that I really connected with. When she stepped back and let her husband take the lead and demand accountability from their son, behavior changed and their relationship was better. I loved that.

Not every mom has a husband or willing partner, Rhonda lightly addresses that as well. This book would definitely be beneficial for all mothers, not just ones that have a father-figure at home. The main ideas still hold true, being a mother is an important ministry.

I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book which I received from the author. All views expressed are only my honest opinion.

[Kendra Neal · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a Mom to 3 Boys, who are now 19, 17, and 16. My goal has always been to Raise my Boys to become Men. Men who respect the Society and themselves. Men who have a LOVE for God and are Godly Men. It hasn't been easy, as there are some things about "Manhood" that are out of my realm of knowledge. I have always been one to encourage my boys in all they do.

Moms Raising Sons to be Men by Rhonda Stoppe is an ABSOLUTE must have for Moms of Boys. Rhonda Stoppe has really laid out a "How to" and a really encouraging guidance book for Moms of Boys. Rhonda Stoppe shows mom's how to lovingly guide boys and communicate to them. Moms and Boys communication is on a different level then Dad and Boys. Moms Raising Sons to be Men is a book with Biblical Advice, as well as advice from Christian Parenting Experts.

I HIGHLY Recommend this book for Moms of Boys. The younger they are when you read this book, the time will be longer for you to encourage your Boys. The bond of a Mother and Son is so extraordinary, it is a blessing to be a Mom of Boys!

[Kristie Ingerto · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that is a must-read for moms of boys as it is one that will encourage you throughout the years of raising your son. I was given the opportunity to listen to this book and Rhonda is easy to listen to and it felt like I was listening to a friend chatting with me over a mug of coffee. I never felt like Rhonda believed that she had all the answers and is an expert on being a perfect mother, but yet a friend who is sharing lessons that she has learned and wisdom she has found while studying God's word. What I loved most about this book is the gentle reminders to be sure that I am living in such a way that I am being a Godly example and not putting on a show with how I live, so that my son will strive to live an authentic Godly life as well. My favorite chapters and ones that I felt like really spoke to me were Tools for Autonomy and Conversations that Matter; such important tidbits of wisdom packed in and chapters I am going to listen to again (and again) I'm sure!

[Rachel DeVaughn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was my first time reading and reviewing an audio book! (truly!) I enjoyed listening to it in the car back and forth to work every morning after I dropped my son off at summer camp.

I learned that I need to work on having more peaceful responses to the chaos of life instead of letting the daily events and to do lists stress me out and cause stress to family members.

I liked that she emphasized the importance of being a godly mother and using the Bible and older women as an example and for help.

I learned the importance of seeking after the Lord in every situation and to not let daily events determine my emotions for the day. Which is hard to do by the way! I liked all the practical advice and scripture references.

I have read books by this author and have really enjoyed them as much as I enjoyed listening to this book.

I received a copy of this book complimentary for blog and social media review. All opinions are my own.

[IrenesBookReviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot say enough about how much I enjoyed this book. It has so many helpful tips and encouraging words that I could not put it down. You do not have to be a mom of boys to enjoy this book, any mom will learn from these pages. I gave this book 5/5 stars. You will laugh at some of the authors’ stories but more importantly you will discover ways to be a better mom to your children. I highly recommend this book to all moms, especially those with boys. No matter the age of your child you will find a section in this book to help you. The goal of directing your son to a Godly life is not impossible and this book is a great place to get some direction!

I would like to thank the publisher for the copy of this book I enjoyed reading. I gave an honest review based on my opinion of what I read.

[Amanda H · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first listened to Rhonda talk on Focus on the Family before picking up this book. I really enjoyed her style of parenting and how it is founded in the gospel. I love how she talks about "appealing to the man your son will become" and draws from different mother/son relationships. I also had never thought of how David fighting a lion and a bear when he was younger prepared him to take on Goliath, and how, as parents, we need to let our children go through difficult things that God places in their lives, so we don't keep hold them back from growing and what He will call them to do in the future.

This book is a must for parents. I found that a fair bit of it applies to raising daughters too. I highly recommend picking up a copy!

I received an audio version of this book from Just Read. This is my honest review.

[Megan Quigley · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who comes from a non-Christian family filled with mostly women and girls, I've spent my mothering years pondering and reading scripture about parenting. It's always been a desire of mine to raise up Godly sons and put them into society. With so much fatherlessness, crime, and general lack of respect for other living souls lately-- it's even more important that I learn to do my job properly. This book is SO helpful. Solid, biblical advice in a way that doesn't shame or confuse the reader. Rhonda's honesty and faithfulness is refreshing. I highly recommend to Christian moms of boys! It is the motherly and christian advice I've always needed.

[JoJo Sutis · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW!!! What an amazing book for moms. No matter the age of your son, this book is a MUST-READ!!! Watch my full video review here http://jojosutiscorner.wordpress.com/...

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has really changed my outlook on how I’m raising my son. It is a wonderful book written from a Christian perspective on raising boys and I took away so many practical and inspirational applications.

[Jennifer Beard · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book because I know the author. Even though the words were convicting, it felt more shameful than encouraging. The nods to support toxic patriarchy were just gross.

[Cassie · Rating 4 out of 5]

So much wisdom in this book on how to point your son to The Lord

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! As with any book I didn't agree totally (like teaching kids to not touch breakables by putting a breakable in front of them then saying no), but the biblical principles were right on. The few things I didn't agree with were examples from her own life. I think often we get a rosy view of authors. Because they don't write out every struggle, each conflict we just witness the happily ever after. But Stoppe admits she isn't perfect, we just don't witness it.
I underlined and circled so many principles. She has 7 main principles to remember throughout the book. She addresses things I hadn't thought about like: know what interests your son and experience it with him, know when to listen and when to speak, allow him to make decisions and take whatever consequences. We want to shield our kids but they'll have to live on their own sometime; wouldn't you rather show them how to make godly choices on their own?
Stoppe showers this book with Bible verses and principles. The first part is about biblical mothers and what they teach us. The second part is specifically about raising sons. I especially appreciated her comments on turning responsibilities and discipline to the dad as your son gets older. I think so many men are unmanly now because they didn't have strong male examples growing up. I would recommend this to anyone! She consistently points out if mom isn't seeking after God the son will likely not put stock in Him either. She mentions the mothers of many historical heros of faith and how they were influenced for God through her.

[Adayla · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

I enjoyed another book by this author called If My Husband Would Change, I’d Be Happy (& Other Myths Wives Believe). The title itself still just makes me smile.

This was also written well and interesting. It gave me a lot to think about, mainly what I believe in and why I believe it. The author and I have a lot of differences in our beliefs. I appreciated that because it forced me to deeply contemplate and challenge my own perspective. I have to say though, this has only made me stronger in my own stance than agreeing with her.

I appreciated the strong point of prayer and living out your faith around your children, praying and referring to the Bible throughout your day. I do think the book really missed something essential; of how repentance & forgiveness is a central part of how we live together, especially in our families. I was really hoping to read about that and see how that’s carried out in people’s lives, especially between mother & son and son & God. I also feel like there is a lot of works-based love in this book disguising itself as “grace”. A clear law & gospel approach is not here.

My favorite part was learning about the change a boy goes through around puberty and his growing need for respect. I really enjoyed the story about the author’s son and the switch of authority, in a way, to his dad about household chores. It was an interesting shift to see and think about and how through that, he started to treat his mother in the situation better as well. I even marked that section for future re-reading. 😊

Very interesting thoughts!!

[DeAnna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Today’s Christian nonfiction review is Moms Raising Sons to be Men by Rhonda Stoppe. My husband listens to the Focus on the Family podcast while he gets ready for work in the mornings and a few weeks ago this author was on the show giving some really great advice on parenting sons. I later found out she had written a book and immediately ordered it.

The advice here is sound and encouraging. I think mothers who have sons of all ages will benefit from it but especially mothers of young sons. My boys are teens and I really appreciated the chapters she focused on work and autonomy. I’m learning now just how much teen boys thrive on work and the guidance and mentorship of other men in our family. The slow pull away they’ve been doing from me the last couple of years has been difficult but this book helped me feel better about it and has helped it make a lot more sense to me 🙂

This is an easy read, around 200 pages and it’s got some ideas and parenting strategies I hadn’t thought of before. I would recommend this one to a mother of sons any age and think it would be helpful.

4/5 ⭐️ - I really liked it!

[Edie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good read for Christian moms wanting to raise sons to love the Lord. Having two sons (21 & 18 years old) I thought she was right on with her points. All sons need to personalize their faith and their journey may take them away from actively following the Lord. At those times openly living out our own faith as moms and relying on God is very important. I'm glad she addresses that and right when I was thinking that prayer is the most important thing we can do, she stated that exact same thought.

She has 7 principles for raising Godly sons.
1. Teach your son to respect authority, so he respects God's authority.
2. Have a clear idea of the kind of man God calls your son to be.
3. Guide your son toward independence.
4. Know your son well to encourage his strengths & correct his weaknesses.
5. Learn how to talk so your son listens and listen when he talks.
6. Teach your son to think biblically.
7. Know God is the source of your wisdom and strength.

[Cara BookShelfMomma · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would like to that the publisher for a gifted audiobook copy in exchange for my review.

I have a son and raising him isn’t the easiest task so over the years I have always sought out books that may help me. This book is definitely a great one to have on my shelf.

This book gives you principles to learn from and scripture you can turn to. It also stresses the importance of prayer.

I would recommend this book to any mom with sons of any age.

The audiobook was perfect for me, I think I’d love the physical copy to to be able to highlight and reference.

[TJA · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a BRILLIANT read. I learnt tons from it , there were several useful tips and very practical bible based contents . I am really glad I made the decision to buy it . I bought more to give out to friends and highly recommend it to mothers looking to raise their sons to become great men. Thank you Rhonda for mentoring me from afar by writing this book.

[Robin Hunt · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good basic Christian parenting advice. Stories about mothers with sons in the Bible shared and encouragement to lead by example and use teachable moments so that sons will follow and become Godly men. So what about teens raised in strong Christian homes with mentoring and teachable moments that just aren't interested?

[Bambi Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

A helpful and encouraging read! Topics include teaching your son to respect authority, guiding your son toward independence, advice on communicating with him especially in the adolescent years and how to teach him to think biblically. Not every story or author quote was my favorite, but this book is full of encouragement and practical advice that I will use.

[Molls Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rhonda Stoppe gives 7 great principles in raising your sons. I felt the beginning was slow, but it laid a good foundation for the book. Once she began discussing the principles - it was hard to put down. The last 2 chapters were especially convicting to me and encourage me to pursue God more. I recommend!

[Mary Graham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful and inspirational book! I constantly needed my highlighter handy during the second half. Great reminder of the importance of raising our sons with vision and purpose. There was much encouragement and many practical examples.

[Megan B. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I truly enjoyed this book! I loved all the scripture the author used throughout the book and felt encouraged by it. It’s a great book for any mother with boys (and I believe helpful no matter what the boys’ ages).

[Hannah Barnhart · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ignore the incredibly cheesy cover of this book - that and the lengthy chapters are the worst part. The rest of the book are full of godly wisdom and advice to parenting sons. I’d highly recommend this book to any mother of boys.

[Genevieve · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was full of biblically based advice.