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Intentional Parenting: Autopilot Is for Planes
This is about you, not just your child.
Regardless of age, parenting requires a certain amount of uncertainty. But you can be certain that your children look to you to help them discover who they are. And you can only offer that to the degree that YOU know who you are.
Over the years, Sissy Goff, David Thomas, and Melissa Trevathan have helped countless families through their ministry known as Daystar Counseling in Nashville, TN. Due to the unique setup of Daystar, each is frequently counseling not only the child but the parent as well. Having both perspectives provides an opportunity to speak into some of the most common struggles that parents face in today's fast-paced society.
Intentional Parenting is built around 12 chapters that each dispel some of the most common parenting myths and reminds all parents of truths that can empower them to be not only the parents that their children need but that God has called them to be.
The book helps you discover first who you are and then takes that healthy person into a discovery of being more intentional, playful, consistent, merciful, and connected to your children.
Understanding your child. Understanding you.
Regardless of age, parenting requires a certain amount of uncertainty. But you can be certain that your children look to you to help them discover who they are. And you can only offer that to the degree that YOU know who you are.
Over the years, Sissy Goff, David Thomas, and Melissa Trevathan have helped countless families through their ministry known as Daystar Counseling in Nashville, TN. Due to the unique setup of Daystar, each is frequently counseling not only the child but the parent as well. Having both perspectives provides an opportunity to speak into some of the most common struggles that parents face in today's fast-paced society.
Intentional Parenting is built around 12 chapters that each dispel some of the most common parenting myths and reminds all parents of truths that can empower them to be not only the parents that their children need but that God has called them to be.
The book helps you discover first who you are and then takes that healthy person into a discovery of being more intentional, playful, consistent, merciful, and connected to your children.
Understanding your child. Understanding you.
256 pages, Paperback
Published March 11, 2013
88 people are currently reading
1571 people want to read
About the author
Sissy Goff
23 books212 followersSISSY GOFF, M.Ed., LPC-MHSP spends most of her days talking with girls and their families, with the help of her counseling assistant/pet therapist, Lucy the Havanese. She has worked as the Director of Child and Adolescent Counseling at Daystar Counseling Ministries in Nashville, Tennessee since 1993, with a Master’s degree from Vanderbilt University. Sissy speaks to parents across the country and is the author of eleven books including Raising Girls. and her newest books, Raising Worry-Free Girls and Braver, Stronger Smarter (for elementary school girls) which will be released in September of 2019.
Sissy is a regular contributor to various podcasts and publications, including their own soon-to-be released podcast called Raising Boys and Girls. You can find more information and resources at www.raisingboysandgirls.com.
Sissy is a regular contributor to various podcasts and publications, including their own soon-to-be released podcast called Raising Boys and Girls. You can find more information and resources at www.raisingboysandgirls.com.
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
August 15, 2024
I loved this book! Filled with practical advice. While a lot of the information I’ve heard before, the way it is written helped provide a fresh perspective for me!
November 5, 2023
This book was really well written. I read it every sabbath to help in my new journey in motherhood as I foster. I enjoyed reading the multiple perspectives. The last chapter really spoke to me and hit my heart hard. The world puts unnecessary standards and pressure on parents. Some of it spoken and some unspoken. I wished the authors would’ve given more practical ideas and tips of how to lean into those godly parenting ideals that they spoke on. Other than that, it was a great book.
March 28, 2019
Great book. It got off to a slow start but proved to be packed with great info for parents who are looking for help with both practical and big picture parenting concerns. Good for parents of toddlers up to teens. (I had kids preschool age up to a tween when I read it; I'd say probably particularly helpful for tweens & teens.)
September 28, 2020
Meh, maybe even 2.5 stars. Some good pieces of information sprinkled in but overall it was just ok. Nothing super new or enlightening, and the references back to Love and Logic as the place to go for parenting tips was helpful (I do love those books) but not necessarily helpful after the first reference.
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September 19, 2019I won a copy of this book during a Goodreads giveaway. I am under no obligation to leave a review or rating and do so voluntarily. I am paying it forward by passing this book along to a family member who I think will enjoy it too.
May 8, 2024
Lots of amazing information for all stages of parenting. It can be a little overwhelming because it’s so much so I recommend reading it very slowly and I definitely planning on reading through it again slowly at some point.
December 21, 2017
If you are a parent please read this book on yourself. Each generation is different but each generation should have the same goals in parenting.
April 11, 2018
I loved this book--such a gem! Plan on pulling this out time and time again as my daughter grows older.
December 27, 2021
This combo of authors are some of the best parenting books written. Loved it! Easy. Practical and full of godly wisdom.
June 28, 2022
Some nice reminders and an easy read.
December 27, 2024
Really good and easy read. Nothing like earth shattering new, but great reminders about the gift of parenting! Lots of encouragement and practical ideas and truths along the way <3
August 4, 2025
Amazing book! Such great wisdom and reminders to trust in the Lord.
March 12, 2017
Skimmed through this book today. Much valuable information - wish I had time to read it while my kid was much younger.
April 6, 2013
What are your intentions as a parent? Rearing up a child is not something that just happens. It is hard work and without some thoughtfulness you will never take steps to raise your kids right. Counselors Sissy Goff, David Thomas and Melissa Trevathan have walked with a number of families through their ministry, Daystar Counseling in Nashville, Tennessee. They know that good parents are mindful about what they want their children to become, but they also are attentive about being the sort of parents who can provide nurture and consistency, model spiritual health, and take responsibility for their family. In Intentional Parenting they offer their insights on how we can be better parents.
Goff, Thomas and Trevathan take turns writing each of the twelve chapters of the book which are designed to encourage parents to attend to what parenting does. They challenge parents to be intentional, patient, grown-up, balanced, consistent, playful, connected, encouraging, spiritual, merciful, and hopeful. If this seems like hard work and pressure, the final chapter dispels the notion: “Being a Free Parent.” In that chapter, Trevathan avers that our experience of God’s grace is what sets us free to parent our children and trust God with the results.
Too many parenting books tell you how to get your kids to behave or succeed. That isn’t really the focus of this book, (though they’re not urging us to turn out ill-behaving failures either). Instead their book focuses on what God does in and through us as parents. In the opening chapter (“Being an Intentional Parent”), Thomas argues that parenting has more to do with our own growth than our ability to turn out good, productive children:
If we are willing to consider that God designed parenting more for our own sanctification and transformation than to shape our children’s lives, we open ourselves up to movement, growth, and maturity. If we consider that God designed parenting as a place where men and women could come to ask hard questions, engage deep heartache, and find renewed hope–a place where people can grow in the range and richness of new possibility in their lives–then there is much room for maturity of heart (p.10)
What follows in this book is an explication of this point. Each author, in turn, challenges us to be the parents we long to be. If we are to parent well, we will need to grow in patience, because let’s face it, our kids are slow and the act of parenting does not feel very efficient. Being a ‘grown-up’ parent means that to parent well, you will have to face your past and the things that shaped you as a child (and parent). And yes balance and consistency will need to be cultivated to do it well. But ultimately the glory of parenting is when you get to pass on joy, hope and freedom to each child. If I have a well behaved child, but my parenting style impedes my kid understanding God’s grace, I failed as a parent (and a human being!).
This book is full of challenging advice from some seasoned counselors. But it is not preachy. Goff, Thomas and Trevathan are excited about what parenting does in us as we seek to love and nurture our children. Their excitement is infectious. I give this book 4 stars!
Thank you to Thomas Nelson for providing me a copy of this book in exchange for this review through BookSneeze.
Goff, Thomas and Trevathan take turns writing each of the twelve chapters of the book which are designed to encourage parents to attend to what parenting does. They challenge parents to be intentional, patient, grown-up, balanced, consistent, playful, connected, encouraging, spiritual, merciful, and hopeful. If this seems like hard work and pressure, the final chapter dispels the notion: “Being a Free Parent.” In that chapter, Trevathan avers that our experience of God’s grace is what sets us free to parent our children and trust God with the results.
Too many parenting books tell you how to get your kids to behave or succeed. That isn’t really the focus of this book, (though they’re not urging us to turn out ill-behaving failures either). Instead their book focuses on what God does in and through us as parents. In the opening chapter (“Being an Intentional Parent”), Thomas argues that parenting has more to do with our own growth than our ability to turn out good, productive children:
If we are willing to consider that God designed parenting more for our own sanctification and transformation than to shape our children’s lives, we open ourselves up to movement, growth, and maturity. If we consider that God designed parenting as a place where men and women could come to ask hard questions, engage deep heartache, and find renewed hope–a place where people can grow in the range and richness of new possibility in their lives–then there is much room for maturity of heart (p.10)
What follows in this book is an explication of this point. Each author, in turn, challenges us to be the parents we long to be. If we are to parent well, we will need to grow in patience, because let’s face it, our kids are slow and the act of parenting does not feel very efficient. Being a ‘grown-up’ parent means that to parent well, you will have to face your past and the things that shaped you as a child (and parent). And yes balance and consistency will need to be cultivated to do it well. But ultimately the glory of parenting is when you get to pass on joy, hope and freedom to each child. If I have a well behaved child, but my parenting style impedes my kid understanding God’s grace, I failed as a parent (and a human being!).
This book is full of challenging advice from some seasoned counselors. But it is not preachy. Goff, Thomas and Trevathan are excited about what parenting does in us as we seek to love and nurture our children. Their excitement is infectious. I give this book 4 stars!
Thank you to Thomas Nelson for providing me a copy of this book in exchange for this review through BookSneeze.
April 24, 2013
I absolutely loved the idea of this book. A healthy parent produces healthy children, right? I had no idea the depth this book would go in its 229 pages. You are paying for a book to sit on your shelves, refer back to at times as well as your own mini counseling service. It was extremely insightful.
Each chapter focuses on a different aspect of parenting from the general sense. Most parenting books have chapters on discipline, dealing with things like dishonesty and disrespect, chores etc. However this one is different. The chapters are focused on attributes of a good parent and some background issues you might be facing if you are lacking in those areas. The chapters are on being patient, balanced, encouraging, grown-up, spiritual, hopeful and free. (Along with the topics listed in the book blurb above.)
In the chapters the writers give you opportunities to dive into your own experiences to discover where you are on the spectrum of those attributes and give insightful questions and ideas to prompt you through your own growth towards the characteristics of an intentional parent. Basically, unload your own luggage so you can focus on your child. I like that. It was a completely different style of parenting book I have ever read.
I recommend this book to all parents, grandparents. As a parent of teenagers I wish I had dealt with some of these areas when my kids were younger, but it is never too late to invest in your kids. So do it! Become intentional in all that you do for your kids.
Thanks Thomas Nelson and Booksneeze for the opportunity to review this book. It was offered to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review.
Each chapter focuses on a different aspect of parenting from the general sense. Most parenting books have chapters on discipline, dealing with things like dishonesty and disrespect, chores etc. However this one is different. The chapters are focused on attributes of a good parent and some background issues you might be facing if you are lacking in those areas. The chapters are on being patient, balanced, encouraging, grown-up, spiritual, hopeful and free. (Along with the topics listed in the book blurb above.)
In the chapters the writers give you opportunities to dive into your own experiences to discover where you are on the spectrum of those attributes and give insightful questions and ideas to prompt you through your own growth towards the characteristics of an intentional parent. Basically, unload your own luggage so you can focus on your child. I like that. It was a completely different style of parenting book I have ever read.
I recommend this book to all parents, grandparents. As a parent of teenagers I wish I had dealt with some of these areas when my kids were younger, but it is never too late to invest in your kids. So do it! Become intentional in all that you do for your kids.
Thanks Thomas Nelson and Booksneeze for the opportunity to review this book. It was offered to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review.
April 14, 2013
Some books come along at just the right time. I picked up my free copy of Intentional Parenting to review for Booksneeze thinking it would be light reading. As usual, I was wrong. My husband and I feel like we might just have this parenting thing down and then boom one of the kids does something that causes us to pause and rethink our plan of action. I loved this book because it joined Biblical viewpoints with modern parenting problems. While I know that God’s Word has all the answers sometimes I need a little help in finding them, especially when it comes to parenting. Instead of bogging me down with lists of things I need to change or strive for, the authors loving encourage the reader to seek new perspective in day to day struggles. With practical suggestions and real life applications, you will feel like you can do all things, even raise kids! The final chapter summed it all up by reminding me that God has not just left us with a bunch of rules to follow, but through Jesus He has freed us to live the life He called us to. This veteran mommy took away so much from this book, I am deeply grateful for and revived in my calling as a parent.
May 11, 2013
I loved this book. It was a great reminder that you can just float through your children's lives and parenting experience or you can be intentional and be a parent with a purpose. The authors gave lots of examples from their lives and counseling practice to go along with the book's themes. While the book encorages you to be intentional about your impact on your kids lives it also gives pages of parenting and discipline tips. They are not in depth, just a paragraph or so for each tip, but I prefer it his way as it is a great way to remind yourself. The authors reference other books that they have written and after reading this one, I would love to read others! I would recommend this book for any parent. For new parents its a great way to dip your toes into the themes before moving on to more in depth readng. Afor experienced parents, an excellent reminder to make sure you are on the path you want to be.
I recieved a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
I recieved a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
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February 27, 2013With that expertise, the authors guide us to understand how to be intentional parents. I think this topic so needful, I struggle when weariness hits to shift into autopilot, but our kids need intentional.
I loved reading the different voices of each author as they took on different chapters. They pose questions that I never thought to ask myself. Each chapter is a unique challenge that guides gently.
This is a book I could actually write down notes. It’s a book I could keep returning to as a parent. Their stories of their own family’s and the families they counsel help illustrate each challenge. They also root all their work in scripture.
My best take away: Even if you make mistakes as a parent (as you will), being intentional will cover your kids with the knowledge of your love, and that is enough to sustain them.
In their conclusion they encourage parents to walk in freedom. You can entrust your children to God. His great love has each one of you.
I loved reading the different voices of each author as they took on different chapters. They pose questions that I never thought to ask myself. Each chapter is a unique challenge that guides gently.
This is a book I could actually write down notes. It’s a book I could keep returning to as a parent. Their stories of their own family’s and the families they counsel help illustrate each challenge. They also root all their work in scripture.
My best take away: Even if you make mistakes as a parent (as you will), being intentional will cover your kids with the knowledge of your love, and that is enough to sustain them.
In their conclusion they encourage parents to walk in freedom. You can entrust your children to God. His great love has each one of you.
March 16, 2016
This book is not bad.
I'm specially impressed by the final chapter - Being a Free Parent. I interpreted it as: parents cannot control and should not be stressed out on how their children are going to grow up. Of course it doesn't mean that parents should not make the effort, It simply means that parents don't have to blame themselves if their children don't end up the way they intended.
What matters is parenting with your true heart. Develop yourself while parenting your children. This makes the book the only one that doesn't make me feel bad about myself as a mother.
However, practices in real life are needed, in order to grab the disciplines provided by this book. I guess that's the nature of the this type of books. People quickly forget all the good rules while facing their children and handling daily troubles.
A book can't transform a person into a good parent.So, it's a good book, but not very pragmatic.
I'm specially impressed by the final chapter - Being a Free Parent. I interpreted it as: parents cannot control and should not be stressed out on how their children are going to grow up. Of course it doesn't mean that parents should not make the effort, It simply means that parents don't have to blame themselves if their children don't end up the way they intended.
What matters is parenting with your true heart. Develop yourself while parenting your children. This makes the book the only one that doesn't make me feel bad about myself as a mother.
However, practices in real life are needed, in order to grab the disciplines provided by this book. I guess that's the nature of the this type of books. People quickly forget all the good rules while facing their children and handling daily troubles.
A book can't transform a person into a good parent.So, it's a good book, but not very pragmatic.
November 1, 2013
I really enjoyed this book. It is not a fiction work that makes you feel good but rather a work that makes you think. And no not feel good. It has a way of tearing you apart and putting you back together in a better way.
Intentional parenting teaches parents how to be the best parents for their children. It first teaches them to understand and know themselves so that they may better help their children. Written by a group of counselors who work to help children by helping their parents it is a great book for all parents to read. Even if you think you are a good parent, there is something in this book you can learn.
I received a copy of this book for free from BookSneeze in exchange for my review: however, all thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.
Intentional parenting teaches parents how to be the best parents for their children. It first teaches them to understand and know themselves so that they may better help their children. Written by a group of counselors who work to help children by helping their parents it is a great book for all parents to read. Even if you think you are a good parent, there is something in this book you can learn.
I received a copy of this book for free from BookSneeze in exchange for my review: however, all thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.
August 26, 2020
A great book, more about that heart of parents, rather than the do’s and don’ts of parenting. We can take the pressure off of being the “perfect parent” raising “perfect kids” and rather focus on being free.
“You can be free, as a person and as a parent, no matter how much pressure you feel today. You can’t do it right. You can’t be the perfect parent, and you can’t can create the desired outcome in your child. But you can immerse yourself in the better hope that Hebrews 7 speaks of. You can fix your eyes on Jesus. You can entrust your child to him. He’s really the one in control, anyway. And He loves you both more than you could ask or imagine.” (Page 229)
“You can be free, as a person and as a parent, no matter how much pressure you feel today. You can’t do it right. You can’t be the perfect parent, and you can’t can create the desired outcome in your child. But you can immerse yourself in the better hope that Hebrews 7 speaks of. You can fix your eyes on Jesus. You can entrust your child to him. He’s really the one in control, anyway. And He loves you both more than you could ask or imagine.” (Page 229)
February 18, 2014
Eh - this book was okay. Some aspects were a little too something for me, but I did a get a few good takeaways and reminders about remembering to be in the moment with your children, and perspective about how childhood is a series of phases, and each one will have its own unique challenges and blessings.
May 14, 2013
Absolutely amazing book on parenting. Highly recommend. For full review, see here. http://eagleswingsbooks.blogspot.com/...
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews