The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language

by Scott Palmer, Bethany Palmer

The hidden key to a healthy relationship is not just managing money but understanding how the other approaches money. Every couple argues about money. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for 40 years or dating for 4 months, money touches every decision you make as a couple―from the $5 cup of coffee to the $50,000 car. And when the two of you don’t see eye-to-eye on how much to spend or how much to save, that’s when arguments turn into ugly toxic fights that leave both persons feeling hurt and angry. It’s why money has become the #1 cause of divorce in the U.S. Obviously, something needs to change. The reason this crisis has not been addressed is because it has never been identified, defined, or given a name. Scott and Bethany Palmer, aka “The Money Couple,” have identified and defined this problem and offer concrete solutions to fix it. Once you know your Money Personality, you can get to the root of money arguments and start really working together. You’ll discover what has an impact on your loved one’s money decisions, and you’ll learn how to talk about money in a way that’s actually fun! You’ll figure out how to put an end to money secrets and lies once and for all. It’s not just about money management, and it’s definitely not just about overcoming debt. It is a whole new way of living that will change everything in your relationship. Tens of thousands have already been transformed. Are you ready?

Genres: Finance, Nonfiction, Marriage, Money, Personal Finance, Relationships, Personal Development

208 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2013

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Reviews

[Lynnae McCoy · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was OK, but kind of gimmicky. For a finance book by Thomas Nelson Publishers, I was a bit surprised that there were no references to Biblical principles of money/relationships in the book. I think this book would be more beneficial to newly married couples than to people like me who have been married for years and already have a good relationship with each other and with money.

[Robyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I got married I received a few marriagey-type books and for the most part I was thankful and had great intentions to read them…but two years later they're still sitting on the shelf.

Part of it is because I have a bucket of books to read and another part is because I don't actually know how to read a couple's book. Do I need two copies and my husband and I read it at the same time? Does one of us have to read it aloud to the other? Does one read it and then lend it to the other? Just me?

So imagine my surprise when the next book I chose to review was a couple's book about money.

Right‽

The Five Money Personalities is written by "The Money Couple" Scott and Bethany Palmer, who work as financial counsellors and have written several books and studies on money and relationships. For this project I took a few approaches. Since I'm doing the review only I needed to read the book, but some parts were just so darn interesting I couldn't help but reading them out loud. And then since I got an ebook it was interactive and found myself doing quizzes and, well, interacting. I went from simply reading the book to participating in it.

I raced through Part 1, which is all about your Money Personality. Riveting stuff. It was light, fun, and easy.

Part 2 is where the tone of the book shifted. I think it was necessary but a real downer. Topics centred on why couples fight about money, and how financial infidelity tears relationships apart. I've never thought about this concept before, and I think I buy it. This section also explained the different ways you can commit financial infidelity. There are some obvious ones like having secret bank accounts and lying about your spending, but there were also some unexpected roots of financial infidelity like overspending and lack of planning.

It gave me a lot to think about.

After those chapters I was less eager to finish the book. It was all about fighting, how to fight fair, and how to talk about money in a way you won't fight. Part 2 and Part 3 are nitty, gritty, practical sections. And heavy, serious, and difficult to skim.

I appreciated the information in these last parts, but it kind of felt like if you're at that point in your marriage you should probably be in counselling under professional care rather than reading six or seven pages on topic. But it's a good start down that path.

You don't know what you don't know, right?

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review.

[Steve · Rating 3 out of 5]

Typical self-help book based solely on the authors' anecdotal evidence culled from their practice as financial advisors. Some helpful advice but I get really irritated with this sort of quasi-psychology. Given that it's written by two Christians, I was pleased that they didn't try and make it all "biblical". God is only mentioned near the beginning in passing so could be read by anyone as it is mostly good common sense.

[Meghan Lyons · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this could be a great book for an engaged or newly married couple. I’ll admit that my husband and I are pretty much on the same page when it comes to finances, so I didn’t have as much opportunity for this book to make significant changes/improvements to our marriage. Regardless, it was an interesting read, and they provided suggestions for “money huddles” and several other intentional activities to focus on your financial relationship.

I was a bit underwhelmed by the money personality quiz...didn’t think it was thorough enough to really dig in.

My biggest complaint with this book was how the examples provided fed right into gender stereotypes- the wife is the spender and the husband is the saver - type examples. This irked me enough to be pretty distracting. It would also be annoying if you weren’t part of a traditional heterosexual marriage.

[Jessica - How Jessica Reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd give this 3.5 stars really. Rather than being focused on ways to save money / cut back like most budgeting books are, this one focused on how different personalities handle money differently.

I didn't realize it was specifically geared at married couples when I started reading it, but it still had some useful tips, and some things for me to think about, even if Noel never reads it.

It's a super fast read, and I think helpful for someone who already has budgeting down pretty well, and is just looking for ways to fine tune their handling of money.

[Ginger Snaps · Rating 4 out of 5]

I do think this book has a lot of good information about how couples can get their heads together on spending. Having been through Financial Peace University (Dave Ramsey) I wondered if this was going to be the same information, or, even worse, conflicting information. I am happy to say that the things in this book are actually things that FPU doesn't really address, and would be very helpful to use in addition to it. I would recommend this easily to any couple I knew who was having money difficulties, whether they were utilizing FPU or not.

[Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

1) Very easy-read.
2) Encouraged to be read by married couples. I read solo, but found incredible value in discovering my money personalities, understanding where marriages break down, and finding suitable solutions to work through the conflict.
3) They clearly state it's not an investment book. It's a book to highlight where the two of you (or just you) stand with your money, and how to combat self-sabotaging habits.
Recommend!

[Vaughan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book will help you think of money in a different way. It challenged me to think about how I view money and how that effects my marriage. Many of the chapters are geared toward couples who have had serious money issues, which thus far I have not experienced. However, it was good to be proactive in reading this book. If you don’t want to read the book, at least take the test to see your money personality.

[Cathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Worth the read and probably a re-read every few years. Similar to love languages (different authors), I am left not knowing my money personality type. But, the examples are good eye openers that helped me see the other side of my personal money views and where I can improve.

[Tram-Anh Huynh · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nice concept, always interesting to see where I fall in given categories. Not much to do once I know my money personalities. Aimed at married couples, repetitive, and pushes website.

[Justin Chester · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this book! A fantastic approach of learning how individually and as a couple to work with your money personalities and work together through finances.

[Nur Syariha Masri]

Insightful book on how to manage money based on our personalities.

[Lisa Lou · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.25 Stars

[Nick Salenga · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book that methods & enjoyed whole new way of living with love & money.

[Avery Driver · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good information, but it was a little repetitive.

[Jennifer L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

In The Five Money Personalities, Scott and Bethany Palmer discuss the traits that each person may have that can affect the relationships of those around them. When about half of marriages end in divorce, and money is the number one issue that couples argue about, I believe this is a very important book for everyone to read. I’m single, but it helped me understand others who don’t have my money personality.

One of the things they discuss in this book is how to handle it if you have married someone with an opposite personality. Or what if your secondary money personality trait is opposite of your main one! That can actually be quite common, and leave that person fretting about decisions.

One of the neat things is they have resources on their website to compliment the book. It was so surprise to me when I took the quiz that my primary personality was “saver”. I remember as a child my grandparents giving me a jar full of coins for my birthday thinking I’d use them to play video games. Instead I took them to the bank and deposited the nearly $40 in change in my savings account. My secondary trait is “security seeker”. This is something that took a long conversation with someone recently when he was asking why debt bothered me. Don’t know how to start a conversation like that? It’s needed and this book has advice on how to broach the tough topics of how your spouse wastes money in your eyes.

Also included in the book is an appendix of how to survive live with someone with that other money personality (or even your own!) If you’re a spender you might need to reign yourself in come birthdays or Christmas, but the saver might need a little help spending their hard earned money on other people.

I highly recommend this book to everyone. It gives a lot of insight to why we handle money the way we do, and I believe if read and the principles in it were applied, it could save a lot of marriages.

FTC disclosure: I received a free book in exchange for an honest review. The opinions are my own.

[bethany m. planton · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are married, this book is for you. If you make decisions about money, this book is for you. This book was written for couples, but I think some of the same principles are profitable for organizations as well. Anytime you work with others on money issues/problems, it is good to know your tendencies about money, your money personality. There is nothing too complicated about this book, but understanding your money personality can help you get to the root of money arguments and help resolve them.

[LaDonna Harris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Money does affect every decision we make in life. And money greatly affects our relationship with our spouse.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly enlightening! A must read-aloud-together for anyone who cares about money, psychology and most importantly, relationships. Life-changing, if studied together over and over.

[Sanntint · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even thought the book is dedicated to couple reader for money , I wanna know how it would make me change , my single life !

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Love the concepts in this book, they seem like they would be so helpful to any couple struggling with misaligned views about money.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for all marriages. Eye opening.