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I'll Close My Eyes: But I Won't Be Asleep
Delusion, dementia or discourse? A daughter insists on the latter,and with the threads of her mother's narratives weaves for them a raft of words.
These conversations, unlike anything I'd shared with her before, shocked me. I was glad they happened only when we were alone together. I'd never even thought these things I heard us say, didn't know where they came from. But since they seemed to make sense to her, I kept inviting her to speak. She'd say something, I'd listen, say something back;we were together in words. As if what we said to each other arose, not from our own learning or experience, but some underlying chord that included our voices but was bigger,spoke through them, as if the sound of the ocean were encoded in the sounds of the rain.
I'll Close My Eyes(But I Won't Be Asleep)sounds an intimate,heartbreaking, and sometimes humorous, end-of-life chord in a mother and daughter relationship.A compelling memoir, I'll Close My Eyes(But I Won't Be Asleep)is an honest account of what, for most of us, remains hidden and unheard. It will be useful for anyone torn by conflicting desires and demands, battered by memory, grief and rage, and struggling to give care.
Elisa Adler studied at the University of California, Berkeley, Mills College and, in Bogotá, Colombia, at Centro de Estudios Colombo-Americanos. She has worked as a newspaper reporter, translator,interpreter, laborer and domestic, teaches English and Spanish at colleges in California and Nevada, and farms with her daughter and husband in the northern Sierra.
These conversations, unlike anything I'd shared with her before, shocked me. I was glad they happened only when we were alone together. I'd never even thought these things I heard us say, didn't know where they came from. But since they seemed to make sense to her, I kept inviting her to speak. She'd say something, I'd listen, say something back;we were together in words. As if what we said to each other arose, not from our own learning or experience, but some underlying chord that included our voices but was bigger,spoke through them, as if the sound of the ocean were encoded in the sounds of the rain.
I'll Close My Eyes(But I Won't Be Asleep)sounds an intimate,heartbreaking, and sometimes humorous, end-of-life chord in a mother and daughter relationship.A compelling memoir, I'll Close My Eyes(But I Won't Be Asleep)is an honest account of what, for most of us, remains hidden and unheard. It will be useful for anyone torn by conflicting desires and demands, battered by memory, grief and rage, and struggling to give care.
Elisa Adler studied at the University of California, Berkeley, Mills College and, in Bogotá, Colombia, at Centro de Estudios Colombo-Americanos. She has worked as a newspaper reporter, translator,interpreter, laborer and domestic, teaches English and Spanish at colleges in California and Nevada, and farms with her daughter and husband in the northern Sierra.
304 pages, Paperback
First published June 28, 2012
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October 29, 2016
A deeply personal book about life, death, relationships and knowing or not knowing who we are. Beautifully written.
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