As a lifelong Newcastle fan (and as it was a Christmas present from my wife) I wanted to like this book. Peter Graves has also supported Newcastle since he was a little boy and his enthusiasm and passion for the club shine through on every page; there’s no pretence at objectivity, it’s “we did this and we did that” meaning NUFC, as if the author was a part of the team. But that’s where the good things about it end.
The book is terribly written and I mean this in two senses. First, the writing is just bad, so basic it is difficult to believe that Graves is a successful journalist, albeit a broadcast journalist rather than of the print variety but one would still expect him to be able to write proper, interesting sentences. And there’s the second problem: much of it is very boring, even for a Newcastle fan.
Let’s begin with the first of those two issues, the writing itself. How can a professional journalist conjure up sentences such as this: “The next game we got pretty unlucky with”. And he obviously doesn’t know the difference between literally and figuratively, so we’re told, for example, that Eddie Howe “literally” wears the shoes of his players. It’s an amusing idea, Miggie being told to slip his little shoes off so that Howe can try and squeeze into them but it’s obviously not what Graves means.
And then there’s the boring part, page after page recounting one game and scoreline after another, every single game summarised in a sentence. Worse still, he details almost all of Eddie Howe’s games as the Bournemouth manager. Does anyone really care that in 2006 Bournemouth drew with both Luton and Lincoln City but then beat Shrewsbury and Accrington Stanley? And if they do, surely they know this already. A table would convey the same information in less than one tenth of the space.
There is an almost complete absence of any insight or analysis, it’s simply a recitation of past facts – this happened, then this happened and next this - mixed together with quotes from three interviews Graves did (with Keegan, Shearer and Howe) or taken from other public interviews with various participants.
And the cliches … if I had one pound for every tired old football cliché used in this book, I’d have almost as much money as Bruno earns in an hour.
I admire your obvious passion, Mr Graves but not your ability to write.