Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

Coming Closer to Ourselves: Making Everything the Path of Awakening

Rate this book
How to Befriend Your Most Challenging Emotions and Experiences

In challenging times, why do so many of us turn to Pema Chödrön for guidance? Many say that it’s her honest and caring way of communicating the core teachings of Buddhism—not just conceptually, but directly from her heart to ours. In these inspiring sessions, she teaches us how to give that compassion to the person we neglect most often—ourselves. With her, you will explore:

What to do when it feels impossible to be kind to ourselves
• In challenging relationships and situations, how to let go of our story and see what’s really happening
• Cultivating inner comfort and greater kindness toward our bodies
• Leaning into frustration, sadness, and fear with a spirit of trust and intimacy
• Many other insights and recommendations to befriend the difficult places within us
Through gentle and clear guidance, Coming Closer to Ourselves shows us how, even in the tumult of life’s uncertainties, we can begin with a glimmer of curiosity, move closer into our experiences, and discover a place of welcome and refuge within.

Course objectives:

Discuss what to do when it feels impossible to be kind to ourselves
• Describe how to let go of our story and see what’s really happening within challenging relationships and situations
• Explain how to cultivate inner comfort and greater kindness toward our bodies
• Discuss how to lean into frustration, sadness, and fear with a spirit of trust and intimacy

5 hours, 14 minutes

140 pages, Audiobook

First published September 1, 2012

21 people are currently reading
616 people want to read

About the author

Pema Chödrön

189 books5,454 followers
Ani Pema Chödrön (Deirdre Blomfield-Brown) is an American Buddhist nun in the Tibetan tradition, closely associated with the Kagyu school and the Shambhala lineage.

She attended Miss Porter's School in Connecticut and graduated from the University of California at Berkeley. She taught as an elementary school teacher for many years in both New Mexico and California. Pema has two children and three grandchildren.

While in her mid-thirties, she traveled to the French Alps and encountered Lama Chime Rinpoche, with whom she studied for several years. She became a novice nun in 1974 while studying with Lama Chime in London. His Holiness the Sixteenth Karmapa came to England at that time, and Ani Pema received her ordination from him.

Ani Pema first met her root guru, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, in 1972. Lama Chime encouraged her to work with Trungpa, and it was with him that she ultimately made her most profound connection, studying with him from 1974 until his death in 1987. At the request of the Sixteenth Karmapa, she received the full bikshuni ordination in the Chinese lineage of Buddhism in 1981 in Hong Kong.

Ani Pema served as the director of the Karma Dzong, in Boulder, CO, until moving in 1984 to rural Cape Breton, Nova Scotia to be the director of Gampo Abbey. Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche gave her explicit instructions on establishing this monastery for western monks and nuns.

Ani Pema currently teaches in the United States and Canada and plans for an increased amount of time in solitary retreat under the guidance of Venerable Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche.

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
209 (46%)
4 stars
189 (42%)
3 stars
45 (10%)
2 stars
3 (<1%)
1 star
3 (<1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
Profile Image for Liz.
148 reviews1 follower
June 13, 2014



We think that by protecting ourselves from suffering, we are being kind to ourselves. The truth is we only become more fearful, more hardened and more alienated. We experience ourselves as being separate from the whole. This separateness becomes like a prison for us - a prison that restricts us to our personal hopes and fears, and to caring only for the people nearest to us. Curiously enough, if we primarily try to shield ourselves from discomfort, we suffer. Yet, when we don't close off, when we let our hearts break, we discover our kinship with all beings.


It isn't the things that are happening to us that cause us to suffer, it's what we say to ourselves about the things that are happening.


Profile Image for Ivan Kulis.
35 reviews
August 8, 2016
This series of six talks is about one thing: stay. stay. stay.

Pema gives an excellent series of six classes structured around the three jhanas (or vehicles). After running through some more technical aspects of Tibetan Buddhism, she delivers the evergreen Buddhist message of "staying": staying with our discomfort, pain, sorrow, anxiety and anger will allow us to understand it, accept it, recognise it in other people and subsequently feel compassion. All our actions through which we try to escape discomfort (numbing out, lashing out, etc.) provide provisional relief, but inflict long-term damage.

The talks are delivered with lot of grace and sense of lightness and humor, and Pema leaves us wanting for more of her words and teachings.
Profile Image for Laurie.
352 reviews
November 9, 2013
I love everything by Pema. This is no exception. The reminder to love myself and scoot closer myself is powerful. Trying to escape pain through alcohol, drugs, TV, eating, or the myriad of other ways we have invented is ineffective. The most effective way is through the pain--move towards it, not away from it.

Somehow, when she shares, it is not trite and it rings true. She has a gift.
Profile Image for Camia Young.
82 reviews5 followers
January 3, 2018
I could read this a dozen times and still hear something for the first time, this is a powerful book in staying with and learning from unwanted feelings.
Profile Image for Ed Smith.
183 reviews10 followers
March 18, 2021
I've been to weekend-long Buddhist retreats before, and these recordings definitely have the feel of the lectures or "Dharma talks" that are delivered over the course of such retreats.

One would think that listening to such talks on the daily commute would help center the listener and remind them of what's really important. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case for me; instead, I found the content too esoteric for the noncharismatic Buddhist.

Chodron is generous with the jargon. In just one thirty-minute period, the following terms made an appearance:

Prajnaparamita
Heart Sutra
Vajrayana
Openness
Groundlessness
Realness
Tonglen
Mitri

If that sounds appealing to you, then you want to check this out, as there's plenty more where that came from.

I have enjoyed a number of Chodron's books, but this series of lectures has more of a focus on dogma and doctrine as opposed to real-life situations and examples, the latter of which usually get more of the focus in her books.

Only for the intermediate Buddhist or precocious devotee.
95 reviews1 follower
June 23, 2021
Pema Chodron’s voice is so soothing that my mind often drifted away from the content, and it is so good! Definitely will re-listen at some point.
Profile Image for J. Maximilian Jarrett II.
134 reviews
April 12, 2018
Another insightful gem from one of my favourite modern Buddhist teachers. Recommended reading for neophyte stream entrants and those further along the path.
Profile Image for DK.
98 reviews1 follower
September 30, 2024
I am sickened to learn that Pema Chodron has been complicit to the sexual abuse in the lineage. Many women reported abuse to her, Judith Simmer-Brown and Judy Leaf. They did nothing. Pema never stepped down as a teacher. She never retired. She gave up her title. Everyone gave up their titles. This isn’t a virtuous gesture.

Before you lay into me with your defense for this woman, I strongly suggest you Google Shambhala sexual abuse. The history of rape, child molestation and abuse is endless and g continues to this day. Her head monk was just charged with voyeurism at her monastery - Gampo Abbey. The money from the books we buy goes to continue supporting this sick organization. It is absolutely heartbreaking to me she has become an apologist and has never come to support the victims.

https://matthewremski.medium.com/the-...

https://www.gurumag.com/pema-chodron-...

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-s...

I have more esteem for my spiritual development than to follow a sham.
Profile Image for Nic.
65 reviews5 followers
May 16, 2017
Another Pema Chodron great. I always takes something away from her teaching
21 reviews77 followers
April 14, 2021
This was my first Audible audiobook and I enjoyed it immensely. I loved the sense of humour and lightness with which life changing ideas were discussed in this lecture series, and though I often had to repeatedly listen to certain parts to grasp them, the audio format made it seem as if I was in a retreat.

Pema Chodron is someone I immensely admire and it was good to hear her voice and get to know her a little bit. Somehow that makes the teachings more concrete for me. The last quarter was a bit obtuse for me as someone new to Buddhism and hence 3 stars. Highly recommend to absolutely everyone.
Profile Image for Ky DeepDiveThis.
415 reviews29 followers
August 28, 2025
REVIEW
A really enjoyed this. Exactly the kind of thing I was looking for albeit a little more informational and less emotionally resonate, but nonetheless I really enjoyed it.

I'd say I learned a lot about buddhism but in truth I could not tell you anymore about it than before, but that wasn't my purpose for listening so that's okay.

RATINGS
N/A Writing Style
9 Intrigue
7 Logic
8 Enjoyment
2 Impact Bonus
TOTAL= 24+2= 26/6= 4.33

2.00/5.00 Impact Rating
I need to dig more into the work of Pema, rather than jus this lecture style, definitely some great takeaways but more informational than anything

4.25/5.00 Rounded Rating

𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭: Audio
#DeepDiveThisBook
Profile Image for Christy.
26 reviews5 followers
May 18, 2020
I listened to this on audiobook and it is my first introduction to Pema.

I found myself frequently making notes and having numerous “a-ha” moments throughout.

This is highly relevant to the times we are currently going through with Covid-19 and really helps us learn the lesson of learning to be one with discomfort as opposed to fighting against it.

I would definitely recommend this, especially on Audi. It’s the first audio book I’ve ever been able to listen to and I finished it in one day!
Profile Image for Sarah.
5 reviews
October 6, 2021
While not Pema's best, this recording is helpful for me, as many of her books have been. I have Bipolar II disorder and the use of the practices that Pema espouses helps me brave my most challenging emotional states (usually related to family or work, for me). I get to have more fruitful experiences of life when I lean into what is (stay) and don't spend a huge amount of my energy on struggle and emotional hangovers. It enables me to mindfully choose the most important battles to fight for myself and/or with others, as well as other benefits.
Profile Image for Lorelei.
Author 2 books30 followers
March 15, 2020
What I appreciate most about Pema Chodron is how real she is. She shares her own struggles and biases and human frailty which allows the reader to feel like there are routes to self compassion despite our little quirks. I like how in this book she shows that any time we become fixed in one philosophy, we are limiting ourselves ad our growth; that we should draw from many sources to maximize growth and change.
884 reviews88 followers
August 6, 2020
2020.08.05–2020.08.06

Contents

Chödrön P (2012) (05:14) Coming Closer to Ourselves - Making Everything the Path of Awakening

1. The Three Vehicles
2. The Foundation Teachings
3. The Four Noble Truths and the Path of Meditation
4. Emptiness Is Good News: Exploring the Heart Sutra
5. Working with Negative Emotions
Profile Image for Marina.
32 reviews30 followers
February 6, 2021
Love her light-heartedness and humour she brings to what some consider too serious of a practice. She brings love and relatability into this audiobook and deeply connects with the audience by sharing stories. Makes the path of mindfulness and everyday awareness more digestible
Profile Image for Krista.
132 reviews
July 11, 2022
Less of a 'book' and more like listening to a live buddhism retreat, but I love Pema Chodrun and could listen to her all day. Upon completing this audio, I found myself being a lot more aware of the duality of my thinking day to day. Looking forward to another one of her audio retreats.
Profile Image for Lisa Smith.
224 reviews26 followers
November 11, 2017
Pema is a gifted teacher and she so humbly shares that the way through fear is to get closer to it--to get comfortable with the discomfort.
Profile Image for Leslie Cook.
16 reviews23 followers
June 8, 2018
I listen to these dharma talks over and over again. This collection is one I can learn something new from every time.
29 reviews
April 21, 2019
Such a good message for those connecting with self and spirit.
27 reviews
October 27, 2019
Another wonderful articulation of the Buddhist frame of mind.
Profile Image for Teri.
275 reviews
June 25, 2020
One of her more technical books. And really, it is again, like many of these recordings, a weekend retreat.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.