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The Good Fight: How Conflict Can Bring You Closer
THE FIGHT THAT CAN SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE
Drawing on extensive research, not to mention their years as marriage counselors, best-selling authors Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott uncover common misbeliefs about marital conflict.
Let's face it, the fur flies for every couple. But only a few discover this
IT'S HOW YOU FIGHT, NOT WHETHER YOU FIGHT
Whether you are dating, engaged, newly married or married for decades, this book is for you. Learn the practical research-proven, life-changing techniques that will show you how to turn every conflict to your advantage, leading to more intimacy and deeper respect.
FIND OUT WHAT A FIGHT CAN DO FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP
The Good Fight will help you turn the most painful moments of your marriage into milestones that mark a deeper joy and greater passion for each other.
Drawing on extensive research, not to mention their years as marriage counselors, best-selling authors Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott uncover common misbeliefs about marital conflict.
Let's face it, the fur flies for every couple. But only a few discover this
IT'S HOW YOU FIGHT, NOT WHETHER YOU FIGHT
Whether you are dating, engaged, newly married or married for decades, this book is for you. Learn the practical research-proven, life-changing techniques that will show you how to turn every conflict to your advantage, leading to more intimacy and deeper respect.
FIND OUT WHAT A FIGHT CAN DO FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP
The Good Fight will help you turn the most painful moments of your marriage into milestones that mark a deeper joy and greater passion for each other.
224 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2013
132 people are currently reading
419 people want to read
About the author
Les Parrott III
151 books132 followers#1 New York Times best-selling authors, Les and Leslie. A husband-and-wife team who not only share the same name, but the same passion for helping others build healthy relationships. In 1991, the Parrotts founded the Center for Relationship Development on the campus of Seattle Pacific University - a groundbreaking program dedicated to teaching the basics of good relationships.
Married in 1984, the Parrotts bring real-life examples to their speaking platform. Their professional training - Leslie as a marriage and family therapist, and Les as a clinical psychologist - ensures a presentation that is grounded, insightful and cutting-edge.
The Parrotts are New York Times #1 Best Selling Authors. Their books include the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, Love Talk, Real Relationships, The Parent You Want to Be, The Hour That Matters Most and Crazy Good Sex.
Each year Les and Leslie speak in over 40 cities. Their audiences include a wide array of venues, from churches to Fortune 500 company board rooms. Their books have sold over two million copies in more than two dozen languages.
The Parrotts have been guests on many national TV and radio programs such as CNN, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, The View with Barbara Walters, NBC Nightly News, and Oprah. Their work has been featured in USA Today and The New York Times.
Visit their website for lots of free resources at www.LesandLeslie.com
Married in 1984, the Parrotts bring real-life examples to their speaking platform. Their professional training - Leslie as a marriage and family therapist, and Les as a clinical psychologist - ensures a presentation that is grounded, insightful and cutting-edge.
The Parrotts are New York Times #1 Best Selling Authors. Their books include the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, Love Talk, Real Relationships, The Parent You Want to Be, The Hour That Matters Most and Crazy Good Sex.
Each year Les and Leslie speak in over 40 cities. Their audiences include a wide array of venues, from churches to Fortune 500 company board rooms. Their books have sold over two million copies in more than two dozen languages.
The Parrotts have been guests on many national TV and radio programs such as CNN, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, The View with Barbara Walters, NBC Nightly News, and Oprah. Their work has been featured in USA Today and The New York Times.
Visit their website for lots of free resources at www.LesandLeslie.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
February 24, 2018
As I get older, I find that I really like non-fiction more and more. The trick is finding non-fiction on subjects that interest you. Apparently, psychology interests me more than I thought. This is a book about how to fight, not what issues are petty or worth fighting over. Good fighting vs. bad fighting isn't about whether or not to fight and it isn't about topics to fight over. It's about addressing the differences and conflicts you have appropriately and in such a manner as to productively seek a resolution.
I am not married, but read this as part of a book club. As a result, I can say as a single gal, I still found the content useful. I appreciated the tag-teaming of the married couple who wrote the book together. They write simply and clearly. They break down the big, scary psychological ideas--when those are even necessary to include--into easy to understand bite-sized pieces. The writing was very approachable and targeted to normal, everyday people. The ideas were clear, concise, and practical. They provided not only the eye-opening ideas to consider, poignant, real-life examples to support those ideas, but also practical ways to apply potential solutions.
An excellent read that I would suggest for anyone who wants to dig deeper into their relationships and learn more about themselves and others. There is one short section that addresses specific topics (the top most argued about topics in marriage) and sex is one of those topics, but they take a very professional approach to the two to three pages.
I am not married, but read this as part of a book club. As a result, I can say as a single gal, I still found the content useful. I appreciated the tag-teaming of the married couple who wrote the book together. They write simply and clearly. They break down the big, scary psychological ideas--when those are even necessary to include--into easy to understand bite-sized pieces. The writing was very approachable and targeted to normal, everyday people. The ideas were clear, concise, and practical. They provided not only the eye-opening ideas to consider, poignant, real-life examples to support those ideas, but also practical ways to apply potential solutions.
An excellent read that I would suggest for anyone who wants to dig deeper into their relationships and learn more about themselves and others. There is one short section that addresses specific topics (the top most argued about topics in marriage) and sex is one of those topics, but they take a very professional approach to the two to three pages.
December 6, 2016
This was different from other marriage books I've read in that it's very practical, applicable and specific to a certain topic. Includes discussion questions for you and your spouse.
February 24, 2018
Great book - very disappointed by the app, which doesn't appear to be nearly done and is just awkward. So if you just ignore those pieces where it calls out what you do in the app, it's better. But it's hard to not be a little disappointed because the promises of more are there.
It didn't feel so much like an instruction book, but more a discovery book. And probably the idea was that more of the instruction would probably be focused on in the app. But Drs. Les & Leslie definitely lay out some good ideas and direction on better ways to resolve conflicts in marriage. I think continuing to increase knowledge and awareness is one more step in creating a great relationship.
It didn't feel so much like an instruction book, but more a discovery book. And probably the idea was that more of the instruction would probably be focused on in the app. But Drs. Les & Leslie definitely lay out some good ideas and direction on better ways to resolve conflicts in marriage. I think continuing to increase knowledge and awareness is one more step in creating a great relationship.
December 11, 2017
Used in counseling. The app did not really work which would have been a nice feature. Overall some good thoughts, but really a bit redundant and they try to give everything a name...”this is your conflict quotient” etc.
Really first half of the book is enough to get the point across. I also am in the midst of reading several other marriage books and have found the concepts in the others to be much more powerful and easier to retain.
Really first half of the book is enough to get the point across. I also am in the midst of reading several other marriage books and have found the concepts in the others to be much more powerful and easier to retain.
January 22, 2020
There were lots of good things to think about. This is one of those books you need to read at least twice. I did not use the app and didn't like that the book kept sending you there. Not all of us are married to our cell phones. The idea that we're going to pick up our phone right before we have a fight is a little bit ridiculous. I'd like to see a big expansion on the appendix or a separate book on that subject. I plan to check out other books by these authors.
December 17, 2018
This book equips you to be more prepared when you encounter conflict with your significant other, and encourages healthy fights rather than avoiding fights. It is such a practical book that I will continue to reference. The authors are lighthearted and honest about their own fights. Truly an enjoyable read that you will take something away from.
January 28, 2023
Fantastic book about the importance of knowing how to handle conflict. "The only thing that really matters in life is your relationships. As researchers have pursued the age-old mystery of what makes people happy, what appears consistently at the top of the charts is not success, wealth, achievement, good looks, or any of those enviable assets. It's always relationships. Close ones."
July 16, 2020
This was a very good practical book of suggestions that "actually" work. My favorite is taking time to sit down and do 3 steps of asking what you can improve on, having one area to discuss, and then thanking for a good thing. This was a very helpful exercise. I recommend this book!
January 31, 2018
Great read with excellent and practical advice/helpful tips.
May 7, 2018
This book would have been more beneficial had I been in a romantic relationship when I read it, but I can still see how I can apply these tactics at work and with my friends and family.
August 20, 2018
Хороша книга про методи вирішення конфліктів у подружжі чи парі
April 6, 2019
Easy read with practical and immediately implementable tactics.
June 15, 2019
Pretty gimmicky, but also nice anecdotes and I do believe some of the strategies could be helpful.
December 23, 2020
My husband and I used this book as a parent Bible study at the my school. It was a great way to connect with other parents.
July 27, 2021
More than too cutesy at times, but still very helpful
January 1, 2023
A good marriage read. One that I could re-read every few years to keep myself in check.
November 24, 2025
This book was very insightful with simple solutions to help everyday arguments and misperceptions. Now, if I could only get my hubby to read it ;)
April 20, 2013
“Fighting is as intrinsic to marriage as sex. The goal for both is to do them well. That’s why we’ve dedicated this book to helping you fight a good fight” write Drs. Les and Leslie Parrot, husband-and-wife-team authors of The Good Fight: How Conflict Can Lead to Greater Intimacy in Marriage.
A quick overview of the table of contents gives an idea of the scope of the book. The nine chapters include How can a fight be good?; What a good fight will do for you; Rules of the Fight Club; Uncovering your personal fight style; and Fighting through the Big Five.
The Parrots name four elements that keep a fight healthy: Cooperation, Ownership, Respect, and Empathy (CORE). They show how differing perceptions of a situation can cause friction, give insight on how you can tell whether an issue is likely to turn into a fight, and how to habitually consider points of view other than your own to head off a fight at the pass.
They suggest rules for fighting fair based on the CORE elements, describe different kinds of fight types, provide tests to help you and your spouse determine what fight type you both are, and predict how fights between the different fight types will turn out.
Of course, all this is done using lots of story illustrations from the authors’ lives and practice as well as how-to instruction. Don’t let the easy read fool you though. There’s a lot of information and wisdom packed in this practical volume.
An especially useful chapter is Fighting through the Big Five which gives couples a heads-up on hot-button topics (money, sex, work, parenting and housework) that are the most likely to cause dissension.
A major component of the book is the interactive app for smart phones and tablets, available for free with the purchase of each book. It would seem to be both helpful and fun. I say ‘seem to be’ because I didn’t have access to it through my review copy. However, the activities (which the book describes) range from self-tests and quizzes to setting an alarm to alert the reader to perform a daily activity suggested in the book. I can see how the app would take the book’s application off its pages and onto platforms (smart phones and tablets) where people do a lot of living these days.
Even without the app, I highly recommend this book. Much of its wisdom about the physiology of anger, the elements of a healthy fight, and fighting fair could be applied not only to couples but to a variety of people who find themselves in disagreement: parents and kids, extended family members, friends, and colleagues.
A wealth of quotes included in each chapter along with an illuminating back-of-the-book essay on anger and its management round out the offering.
The Good Fight would be an especially helpful book to give newlyweds. But married couples of any age will find much that is useful and practical in its pages.
I received The Good Fight as a free e-book for the purpose of writing a review.
A quick overview of the table of contents gives an idea of the scope of the book. The nine chapters include How can a fight be good?; What a good fight will do for you; Rules of the Fight Club; Uncovering your personal fight style; and Fighting through the Big Five.
The Parrots name four elements that keep a fight healthy: Cooperation, Ownership, Respect, and Empathy (CORE). They show how differing perceptions of a situation can cause friction, give insight on how you can tell whether an issue is likely to turn into a fight, and how to habitually consider points of view other than your own to head off a fight at the pass.
They suggest rules for fighting fair based on the CORE elements, describe different kinds of fight types, provide tests to help you and your spouse determine what fight type you both are, and predict how fights between the different fight types will turn out.
Of course, all this is done using lots of story illustrations from the authors’ lives and practice as well as how-to instruction. Don’t let the easy read fool you though. There’s a lot of information and wisdom packed in this practical volume.
An especially useful chapter is Fighting through the Big Five which gives couples a heads-up on hot-button topics (money, sex, work, parenting and housework) that are the most likely to cause dissension.
A major component of the book is the interactive app for smart phones and tablets, available for free with the purchase of each book. It would seem to be both helpful and fun. I say ‘seem to be’ because I didn’t have access to it through my review copy. However, the activities (which the book describes) range from self-tests and quizzes to setting an alarm to alert the reader to perform a daily activity suggested in the book. I can see how the app would take the book’s application off its pages and onto platforms (smart phones and tablets) where people do a lot of living these days.
Even without the app, I highly recommend this book. Much of its wisdom about the physiology of anger, the elements of a healthy fight, and fighting fair could be applied not only to couples but to a variety of people who find themselves in disagreement: parents and kids, extended family members, friends, and colleagues.
A wealth of quotes included in each chapter along with an illuminating back-of-the-book essay on anger and its management round out the offering.
The Good Fight would be an especially helpful book to give newlyweds. But married couples of any age will find much that is useful and practical in its pages.
I received The Good Fight as a free e-book for the purpose of writing a review.
June 14, 2013
A very practical book.
I have read other books by Les & Leslie Parrott and have consistently been impressed by their insight and practical applications into marriage and relationships. This book is no exception.
The Parrotts address the fact that conflict is going to happen in your marriage. It happens in good marriages; it happens in bad marriages. The important thing is how you fight. To fight fair to move forward together. To maintain respect and empathy and a teamwork approach.
I did not check out the app (no smart phone - I know. I need to join the 21st century). However, from the mentionings of it in the book, it seems like a great resource. And the app is free with the code in the book - at least the copy of the book I read.
I have read other books by Les & Leslie Parrott and have consistently been impressed by their insight and practical applications into marriage and relationships. This book is no exception.
The Parrotts address the fact that conflict is going to happen in your marriage. It happens in good marriages; it happens in bad marriages. The important thing is how you fight. To fight fair to move forward together. To maintain respect and empathy and a teamwork approach.
I did not check out the app (no smart phone - I know. I need to join the 21st century). However, from the mentionings of it in the book, it seems like a great resource. And the app is free with the code in the book - at least the copy of the book I read.
January 11, 2014
Every married or soon to be married couple should read this book. It has some great ideas on how to fight right with your significant other. Since we all have disagreements everyone can learn something. I would say that after reading this book you will notice that your arguments will be different, in a good way! I gave this book 5/5 stars. I would recommend this book for a married couples Sunday School class, as a Bible study book or just for our own personal devotions. It is a great book to read with your spouse!
I would like to thank the publisher for the copy of this book I enjoyed reading. I gave an honest review based on my opinion of what I read.
May 15, 2020
Useful book! Get the free Good Fight App and have your partner take the quizzes too!
References https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four...
https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four...
Someone already put highlights in https://ajournalofthejourney.wordpres...
https://ajournalofthejourney.wordpres...
https://ajournalofthejourney.wordpres...
References https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four...
https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four...
Someone already put highlights in https://ajournalofthejourney.wordpres...
https://ajournalofthejourney.wordpres...
https://ajournalofthejourney.wordpres...
April 28, 2016
Excellent and accessible. I would recommend this book to any married couple. It was written simply and with humor, but the tools are invaluable. We all fight, why not learn to use those arguments to grow as a couple?
(Note: The corresponding app was not as helpful as advertised. Some of the exercises it facilitated were good but more easily accomplished annually. )
(Note: The corresponding app was not as helpful as advertised. Some of the exercises it facilitated were good but more easily accomplished annually. )
June 3, 2023
aprender a pelear
Buenos ejemplos que te ayudan a comprender mejor dónde estamos fallando al momento de pelear. Los 4 principios sobre los que se basa el libro te ayudarán a comprender tu rol en las “peleas” dentro del matrimonio.
Buenos ejemplos que te ayudan a comprender mejor dónde estamos fallando al momento de pelear. Los 4 principios sobre los que se basa el libro te ayudarán a comprender tu rol en las “peleas” dentro del matrimonio.
February 4, 2024
EPIC
Really thankful I read this book. It beautifully highlighted how important conflict could be managed and show the authors drive behind why it is important to pursue peace especially with our spouses. So glad I came across this book
Really thankful I read this book. It beautifully highlighted how important conflict could be managed and show the authors drive behind why it is important to pursue peace especially with our spouses. So glad I came across this book
January 4, 2016
Great tool for couple's communication! The book provides interactive modules and tools, strategies, and men and women POV on love languages and other topics.
April 25, 2015
This is an excellent marriage book on handling conflicts. This is one of my top 3 picks for marriage books. Lots of practical advice.
April 9, 2015
Every married or contemplating person should read this. It will even affect other relationships outside of your marriage.
April 29, 2015
This book had some very good practical advise and has made me aware of how to avoid fights that are unnecessary.
January 5, 2016
Probably the best book I've read on marriage. No platitudes, just solid advice.
October 6, 2015
A great resource not only for marriage counseling but for any type of relationship in general
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews