Space Walrus

by Kevin L. Donihe

Space: the final frontier... these are the voyages of... a walrus? Meet Walter. He is the first walrus in a revolutionary space program. Someday, his blubbery form will float past asteroids, stars, and planets as he journeys through the dark beyond to become a Master of Space. But for now, Walter's dream is to win the heart of his lifelong love, Dr. Stephanie, who happens to be the scientist assigned to conduct experiments on him. The problem is Dr. Stephanie does not love Walter. She views him as a test subject and nothing more. To make matters worse, Dr. Stephanie appears to be in love with the abusive head scientist, Dr. Ron.

From Wonderland Book Award winner Kevin L. Donihe comes a tragic comedy of unrequited love and inspired determination.

Genres: Bizarro Fiction, Science Fiction

158 pages, Paperback

First published July 4, 2012

About the author

Kevin L. Donihe is one of the originators of the Bizarro Fiction literary movement. He is the author of the Wonderland Award-winning novels HOUSE OF HOUSES and SPACE WALRUS, among other books published by seminal Bizarro publisher Eraserhead Press. He was also the editor of the horror anthology series BARE BONE for Raw Dog Screaming Press. His work has appeared in THE MAMMOTH BOOK OF LEGAL THRILLERS and John Skipp's PSYCHOS: SERIAL KILLERS, DEPRAVED MADMEN, AND THE CRIMINALLY INSANE. Hailing from the mountains of Tennessee, he now lives in Astoria, OR.

Reviews

[Melki · Rating 3 out of 5]

And I'm floating in a most peculiar way...

Walter is one lonely walrus. Pining with unrequited love for his Dr.Stephanie and tormented by mean Dr. Ron and his posse of nasty chimps, it's a good thing old Walt has such a rich fantasy life. His daydreams abound with acts of heroism, rewarded by vividly imagined acts of sex, involving females both human and walrus, and disturbingly, a ball gag. Will Walter get to impress his beloved with a space walk? Will he smoosh the bejeezus out of those damned primates? Will he ever get to try out that ball gag?

Eh...

I seem to be the only person to find this a so-so read. I really expected to love it, as this author's The Traveling Dildo Salesman was one of my favorite stories from The Best Bizarro Fiction of the Decade.

But...

Other than feeling sorry for Walter, I really didn't feel too much of anything about this book. There seems to be only enough material here for a short, short story. Not much happened and I began to look forward to Walter's sponge baths almost as much as Walter. Warm soapy water, leathery walrus skin...oh, the possibilities.

[Seb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Space Walrus is the story of Walter. Walter is a walrus (duh), living in a kind of a space camp where he learns how to become a real astronaut.

Walter's social life isn't easy. He's the fattest of the camp, he's bullied by a cohort of savant chimps and he's in love with his human female doctor and he fantasizes himself as Space Walrus, Master of Space.

That's for the first glance on the story. In reality, there's more to this seemingly simple story. Throughout the book, we encounter many themes, mostly revolving around social acceptance and self-esteem, as well as some observations on fatphobia.

I really cared about Walter. He was an (unfortunate) friend and I just wished him the best all along the novella.

Kevin has once again given me a deep sending story to dive into, with a philosophical questioning that I always enjoy in his work.

[Tom Lucas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Walter is a TALKING WALRUS and he’s going to make you cry.

You say, “No way dude, last time I cried was when MY FAVORITE SPORTS TEAM/CELEBRITY/FAMILY MEMBER did something remarkable. I don’t cry, man.”

I hand you SPACE WALRUS and you go off and read it. You come back weeping.

“GODDAMN that Kevin L. Donihe! He tore my heart out and threw it into the middle of the street,” you pine.

I nod and offer a platonic, non-threatening half-hug that shows you that I care but that I am not some kind of sleazebag looking for a quick grope.

You ask, “Does he really make everyone call him by his full name? The ‘L’ and all that? Seems awfully pretentious for a guy who wrote a book about a walrus on a space station who suffers from unrequited love and daydreams about flying through the universe.”

I nod again and reassure you that he doesn’t make anyone use his middle initial, but if he did, I’m sure it’s only because it’s L for LOVE.

After some sniffles, you start thinking of all the people you could recommend this book to…because it is that good.

Kevin L. Donihe’s SPACE WALRUS is a book that zigs when you expect it to zag; it’s got more heart on every page that some books have between covers.

Highly recommended.

[Matthew Clarke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not at all what I had been expecting, but not in a bad way. Space Walrus is a complex and deep tale of what it means to be human, to love, and to fit in. Very thought provoking.

[S.T. Cartledge · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm a fan of Kevin L. Donihe. I thought Washer Mouth was amazing. I loved the Flappy Parts. And Night of the Assholes was awesome. Yet, for some reason I haven't read his Wonderland Award winning House of Houses. But his latest, Space Walrus, is fantastic. Look at that cover. Fucking drink it in through your eyes. That is a beautiful space walrus. You don't NEED anything more to convince yourself to go buy it right now. It's about a walrus in space. That's the concept, that's the story, that's the bread and butter of it. But if you really must know, it's about a walrus named Walter in a space program training him for all sorts of space adventures. He's not as awesome as he'd like to be. His alter ego, the Space Walrus, his ultimate space-conquering fantasy persona, is far from reality. Yet he wants to be this amazing creature, to show the chimps what he's capable of. To show Dr. Ron. And to impress Dr. Stephanie. There's a great depth to this story, and the characters are fantastic. Part of me wishes Space Walrus were a more action-packed thrill ride (perhaps an entire novel dedicated to the adventures of the fantastical Space Walrus), yet what we have here is a fantastically constructed story that will break your heart. It's about a fucking space walrus, but it's fucking tragic. And that's what Kevin does so well. And of course, I felt that reading this book was enhanced by my experience of reading it on a plane far above the earth, and reading it in Kevin's wildly engaging voice. Get space walrus now, or a giant space walrus will come down and impale you on his glorious, shining tusks.

[Jeremy Maddux · Rating 5 out of 5]

In space, no one can hear you blubber.

Walter is the loneliest walrus in the world. He's also the only walrus in the world, after an ecological disaster in the arctic. Walter's days are spent on a barren, sterile space station enduring ridicule from dysfunctional chimps and Machiavellian mind games of one Dr. Ron, head of the animal space program. Walter finds escape through sponge baths with Dr. Stephanie, who wears bikinis for him while helping him complete his ablutions, and also through indulging in scenarios of superheroic space opera where he is the strong, charismatic Space Walrus, unflinching in the face of dangers cosmic and terrestrian.

Through this book, you will learn how far a walrus can go: as far as his mind can take him.

Through this book, you will identify with the extent of Walter's ennui, which we have all endured, whether on the playground or around the office on weekdays.

You will yearn for Dr. Stephanie to see the extent of Walter's love for her. You will long for Dr. Ron and his twerpy chimps to receive their comeuppance. You will escape with Walter into his daydreams about being a walrus of great repute, but not as much as you will want him to return from his musings, so you can come to know the character of Walter even better.

Kevin Donihe lives in the next town over from me, and when the rest of TN learns of this book, a year, five years from now, fifteen, whenever it happens, they will celebrate him as a hometown hero!

[David Barbee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kevin Donihe, a writer as wise as he is weird, dips into scifi to tell the story of an experimental walrus living on a space station. His companions are a psychotic scientist, a gang of chimp bullies, and a lab scientist... that he's in love with. This might sound like a silly concept... certainly not the basis of a beautiful and heart-wrenching romance.

Walter the walrus will win you over. He's just that good of a character. He is a dreamer, a romantic, and a friend even to those who mistreat him. His greatest desire is to attempt a space walk, and while parts of the book detail the hero's journey in his mind, the real story is Walter's emotional journey towards proving himself and finding peace. It's one of Donihe's most wonderful stories. It's such an improbable concept... such a story that shouldn't exist and yet does... that it's like some the last member of some exotic bird species. A bird with tusks, perhaps.

[Ross Lockhart · Rating 4 out of 5]

Parallel storylines clash in Space Walrus, the latest novel from Bizarro author Kevin L. Donihe (Night of the Assholes, House of Houses), alternating between the fantastic pulp adventures of Space Walrus, cosmic adventurer and Master of Space, and the mundane existence of Walter, uplifted pinniped test subject aboard a space station. Walter dreams of walking in space, of becoming his alter-ego, of winning the love and affection of his caretaker, Dr. Stephanie. But Walter is a walrus in a strange land, a sad-sack likable loser, frustrated by his weight and awkward form, taunted by space chimps, and scorned by Dr. Stephanie's lecherous supervisor, Dr. Ron. Hilarious, heartfelt, and even heart-breaking, Space Walrus is a triumph of science fiction storytelling, perfect for any reader with their heart on their sleeve and their head in the stars.

[Melanie Catchpole · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read a couple other reviews about this story and they said it was funny, not a word I think I would use for describing this story. Sure there were some amusing parts, in fact the whole story was quite infectious and I didn't want to stop reading.
Poor Walter, with very little memory of his old life, he is stuck on a space station with a bunch of bullying monkeys, a jealous asshole of a man in charge and a women with whom he is in love with. All he wants to is to float about in space, to prove himself and impress the woman he loves. I think we can probably all relate a bit to this story whether it be the bullying side of things or unrequited love.
Really enjoyed reading this.

[Michael Fierce]

Fuck yah!

[Andrew Stone · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read this book three times now. It's characterization of Walter the Space Walrus is amazing. One of the best bizarro books out there.

[Andrew Humphrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heartwarming but weird

[Richard Kelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are times when I feel like the Bizarro category is better in theory than reality. This is the first book I've read by Donihe and I was not a big of it. I chose it because it won the Wonderland Book Award for best novel in 2012.

The story was fine, but not a lot there. This is not an issue. The book is much more of a character journey than a story about actions and results. I found myself questioning why things were happening, but that is a literary device the author used to create interest. And it works fairly well here.

The two main characters are well thought out and distinct. The antagonists on the other hand suffer from something I often find in Stephen King stories. They appear to be evil for the sake of being evil. Although they are well written for what they are, they felt one sided or fake.

The writing itself is fine. I did not notice it much which tells me it flows and did not distract me from the story.

My big issue with this story and much of Bizarro is the tendency to lean on the juvenile. This book although integral to the story relies on a lot of blunt sexuality and slightly graphic scenes. That mixed with the evil antagonists that felt like they had little reason to be they way they were. And the strange fantasy scenes that do little to push the story other than explaining the protagonists motives time and time again, I can't really recommend this one.

[Jeff O'Brien · Rating 4 out of 5]

A moment, if I may, to discuss the author. Take Kevin Donihe and strip him. Not of clothing, but of labels. Mr. Donihe is Bizarro author. But what is he when stripped of that title? Not naked, unfortunately. But instead, one of the finest comedy writers out there today. Bizarro Fiction might not be for everyone, but I truly believe this author's particular brand of it is so damn funny and relatable, he brings the genre to a wider audience.

And now, the book. Poor Walter, AKA: Space Walrus. A mere scientific test subject with so much more to offer the world. He could be off saving planets and bedding princesses, but merely yearns to prove his affection to a certain Dr. Stephanie. I think most men can relate to the plight of Walter. For there are obstacles. Those damn chimps! And that creepy alcoholic male doctor and his obscene phone calls. Is Doctor Stephanie falling for him instead?

If what I said above hasn't sold you, just trust me. For a quick and easy read with nonstop laughs, Space Walrus is a worthy purchase.

[Rob · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this book thinking it would be amusing but a little bit forced. What I got was even better: clever, bizarre, and even poignant. The author really took this idea and ran with it instead of merely making a series of jokes. But amusement there is, and weirdness a-plenty. This has made me a fan of 'bizarro fiction' and I'm going to check more of it out.

[Zach Kay · Rating 4 out of 5]

On the one hand, parts of this story are kind of dumb and ham-fisted. I guess part of Bizarro fiction is how weird it is, so I can deal with some of that, but there are some parts of the story which weren’t that great like how stupidly antagonistic Dr. Ron was. There is also a point past which I kind of struggled to “roll with” some of it because it was so silly.

On the other hand, the core of this story is WILDLY compelling, and the ending is so much better than it has any right to be. If I were to explain it in detail to someone who hadn’t experienced the rest of the book, they would laugh in my face, but genuinely I can imagine this bringing someone to tears and it’s probably going to stay with me for a while.

So 4 stars because it’s a very weird blend of some fantastically written bits with some poorly written bits, with a great emotionally impactful ending.

[axegrinder · Rating 3 out of 5]

Review: 3.5/5

This was a good read, but if you're expecting a true bizarro novel, you might be disappointed. The story leans more toward absurdist fiction, somewhat reminiscent of Kafka, rather than embracing the shock, grotesquery, or horror typically found in the bizarro genre.

Aside from Walter’s surreal dreams—which are the only elements that truly flirt with the bizarre—the rest of the narrative is grounded in science fiction. It’s engaging in its own right, just not what you'd expect if you're coming in for pure bizarro weirdness.

[Alicia Impink · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm never sure how I'm suppose to feel after reading bizzaro fiction, this felt like a romantic tragedy. Crazy as that sounds, it was weirdly sweet.

[Mitch · Rating 2 out of 5]

3.0

[R.A. Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kevin L. Donihe is wise. Probably, he is the wisest man in the world. He is borderline Walrus, he is so wise. I truly believe Donihe has access to truths far removed from our mundane experiences. The matrix of the universe itself is but a shoe string to this man, nay, it is a velcro strap! You are unsure about these proclamations, you are skeptical about the validity of my claims. I don't doubt it. You don't believe in the Donihe. Well, to prove my point, I'll give you an example of the man's genius:

I've always liked animals. I've had pets nearly all my life - some cats, some dogs, even a bearded dragon – and overall, I feel like I can empathise pretty well with our furry cousins. Or rather, I did. After reading Kevin L. Donihe's SPACE WALRUS I was left chewing on the rather tasteless rind of my ignorance of the inner workings of some of our more exotic animal brethren.

You see, Donihe's protagonist, Walter, is so believable and lovable that I found myself willing him to succeed in all of his endeavours even though he is a WALRUS. Just to be clear as to why that is awesome: I don't even will my pets to succeed at everything. I often want my cat to fall off the back of the sofa rather than just lay there, asleep. I certainly have never ever, not once, wished that they find true happiness with the love of their life. And when they've died (though I have been upset by this tragic occurrence, of course) I haven't really regretted them not finding that love. They're animals, not people.

But Donihe, he says no. He says that even though Walter is a walrus, he has ambitions, he has emotions, he has everything you have, but so much more visceral and enchanting and genuine. And Walter is so well developed and honest (he has that cute animal honesty that you can imagine your dog would have if it could speak) that when he struggles to achieve those ambitions, to control those emotions, to express himself, it really, really sucks. I mean, sucks like when your favourite character in a long running series dies, sucks like when your parents told you no, you couldn't have what you wanted, sucks like – though I am loathe to say it – a pet dies. Which is another, longer, way of saying that Donihe's writing is superb.

Donihe's writing will unite you with Walter's soul. You will live and breathe walrus while you read, and afterwards, when you return to human thought, you will feel small, skinny, and also nimble. However, you will also feel grief and a hole in your heart, a walrus shaped hole.

There's not much more to say. If you want to read something that will probably touch you in a way that you've never been touched, with a depth unfathomable, then you need to read this book.

[Brian F · Rating 5 out of 5]

If someone had told me that I would absolutely love a book with multiple (tasteful) references to walrus boner, I would have said they are crazy, but here we are.

This book is delightful. One of the great love stories of our time. A sincerely sweet story about love's triumphs against all odds, across time, distance, and even species.

I always knew in my heart that if Chimpanzees could talk, they would be dicks; I am overjoyed the author was able to illustrate this so masterfully in their writing.

A (sincerely) really good book.

[Pedro Proença · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the tragic tale of Walter, a walrus serving as test subject for scientists in an space station. He's in love with Dr. Stephanie, the scientist responsible for him. And he's constantly badgered by the douchebag Dr. Ron and his pack of asshole monkeys.

Not actually monkeys filled with assholes. Just monkeys who happen to be assholes.

Alternately, we have the story of Space Walrus, Walter's alter ego and the character he escapes into when stressed or sad.

Kevin Donihe is a great writer. This book is funny and sad in equal measures. I really loved it, and it's now on the top of my list of recommendations when someone asks me "Which book do you recommend to get in the Bizarro genre?"

[Emma Alice Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don't Let All The Walrus Masturbation Fool You

Walrus jerk off scenes aside, this is actually a very sweet and often laugh out loud hilarious story with an ending that is likely to leave you sobbing. True character-driven bizarro literature.

[Jorge Palacios Kindelan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very funny, original, but also sad story. The ending will have you in tears.