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You're Not Crazy—It's Your Mother! Understanding and Healing for Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
Do you find yourself feeling emotionally bruised, upset and confused after being in contact with your mother?
Are you left doubting yourself – feeling crazy - as she remembers some incidents totally differently to how you remember them, and denies other events even happened at all?
Do you somehow feel like you’re not a real person in her company? Does it seem that she gets cross, angry or upset when good things happen in your life?
And does she seem happy and energised if you have a trauma or crisis?
But maybe that’s your imagination, you tell yourself, because of course your own mother isn’t going to be glad when you suffer, right?
And round and round go your feelings and emotions and half-formed thoughts, till you think you must truly be crazy. And still you end up emotionally bruised and confused and hurt. If this resonates with you, it is possible that your mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother explains what that it is, and what it means to you in your life. It will help you to undertake a journey of recognition and of moving on, healing, and claiming your own self as the wonderful, vibrant woman you really are.
Are you left doubting yourself – feeling crazy - as she remembers some incidents totally differently to how you remember them, and denies other events even happened at all?
Do you somehow feel like you’re not a real person in her company? Does it seem that she gets cross, angry or upset when good things happen in your life?
And does she seem happy and energised if you have a trauma or crisis?
But maybe that’s your imagination, you tell yourself, because of course your own mother isn’t going to be glad when you suffer, right?
And round and round go your feelings and emotions and half-formed thoughts, till you think you must truly be crazy. And still you end up emotionally bruised and confused and hurt. If this resonates with you, it is possible that your mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother explains what that it is, and what it means to you in your life. It will help you to undertake a journey of recognition and of moving on, healing, and claiming your own self as the wonderful, vibrant woman you really are.
192 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 2012
787 people are currently reading
2611 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 171 reviews
January 9, 2015
Early on in this book, unfortunately past the sample from Amazon on my Kindle, I had an uncomfortable feeling when the author of the book suggests readers go to a site where they can pay to take an online quiz to determine if a person is "toxic". I kept reading, however, when I decided to do some research about the forums the author runs I discovered some really disturbing accounts. Had it only been one person, I probably wouldn't have been so alarmed by what I'd read.
However, it seems that several women have had very negative experiences with the author, both related to the forum and via personal communication. Her methods for gathering and using the stories of other women has been called into question as well.
Given all of these things, I'm deciding I've read enough and cannot recommend this book to anyone.
I do recommend two other books for daughters of narcissistic mothers:
Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters
by Susan Forward
Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
by Karyl McBride
However, it seems that several women have had very negative experiences with the author, both related to the forum and via personal communication. Her methods for gathering and using the stories of other women has been called into question as well.
Given all of these things, I'm deciding I've read enough and cannot recommend this book to anyone.
I do recommend two other books for daughters of narcissistic mothers:
Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters
by Susan Forward
Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
by Karyl McBride
February 21, 2020
The first part of this book describes my mom perfectly (ha, see what I did there?). But as a child, I thought that all mothers were like that. As an adult, I now know that my mom was less than ideal, and that's an understatement. There were some things that were difficult to read because it was totally on base. Very enlightening.
The second part of the book - the how to heal part - was hokey. Having been in therapy for years, to discuss things about my mom and to unlearn a lot of what she said to me growing up (and I still have a ways to go), I recommend therapy. Even if you don't have the money, here in Chicago, anyway, they have therapists who offer a sliding scale.
The EMF (Emotional Something Freedom) - I'm not even sure those are the initials, is what the author emphasizes for treatment, but...she isn't a professional as far as treatment goes. And neither am I. Take it with a grain of salt. Only you can decide what works for you.
The second part of the book - the how to heal part - was hokey. Having been in therapy for years, to discuss things about my mom and to unlearn a lot of what she said to me growing up (and I still have a ways to go), I recommend therapy. Even if you don't have the money, here in Chicago, anyway, they have therapists who offer a sliding scale.
The EMF (Emotional Something Freedom) - I'm not even sure those are the initials, is what the author emphasizes for treatment, but...she isn't a professional as far as treatment goes. And neither am I. Take it with a grain of salt. Only you can decide what works for you.
July 13, 2014
Could Not Put This Down
Finally, a book that explains it all for the daughters of NPD mothers. As soon as I found this book I read it cover to cover. I felt there was someone out there who could relate to the abuse that I received by my own mother. For 50 years I have felt alone and isolated but the author, who admits she is not a professional, shares her experience, strength and hope so well that I could feel heard for the first time. I have received much help along my journey by daughters of alcoholics, daughters of borderline moms, but while similar, NPD moms stand on their own. My own NPD mother was so clever at "looking" okay on the outside but her abuse was severe and crazy making behind closed doors. Thank you Danu for your book.
Finally, a book that explains it all for the daughters of NPD mothers. As soon as I found this book I read it cover to cover. I felt there was someone out there who could relate to the abuse that I received by my own mother. For 50 years I have felt alone and isolated but the author, who admits she is not a professional, shares her experience, strength and hope so well that I could feel heard for the first time. I have received much help along my journey by daughters of alcoholics, daughters of borderline moms, but while similar, NPD moms stand on their own. My own NPD mother was so clever at "looking" okay on the outside but her abuse was severe and crazy making behind closed doors. Thank you Danu for your book.
January 19, 2016
My therapist diagnosed my mother three years ago. In the time since I have learned everything I could about NPD and recovery. Since we are struggling with a bit of narc rage right now, I thought picking up this book might be helpful and reassuring.
I found it to be a good surface discussion of NPD and how it presents in the mother-daughter relationship. It is clear that that author is not a professional, but what information there is in the book is correct. This would be a good book for anyone who is new to the diagnosis or realization that they have been raised by a narcissist.
Detracting from the information, for me, was the author's extremely heavy reliance on personal anecdotes about her on mother. In some books this works, but in this situation the issues discussed don't actually seem indicative of NPD to me - the author presents these 'shocking' stories of behavior such as telling long stories or asking about her love life. Basically just very normal (if annoying) mom stuff. This lowered her credibility for me to a level where I could not appreciate the rest of the book.
I found 'Will I Ever Be Good Enough' (a book often recommended on the topic) to be much more accurate and reliable, and it presented much more information about the psychology of NPD in the family and resulting symptoms for children. If you are looking for more solid information, exercises, and a guide to recovery, I would suggest that book instead.
I found it to be a good surface discussion of NPD and how it presents in the mother-daughter relationship. It is clear that that author is not a professional, but what information there is in the book is correct. This would be a good book for anyone who is new to the diagnosis or realization that they have been raised by a narcissist.
Detracting from the information, for me, was the author's extremely heavy reliance on personal anecdotes about her on mother. In some books this works, but in this situation the issues discussed don't actually seem indicative of NPD to me - the author presents these 'shocking' stories of behavior such as telling long stories or asking about her love life. Basically just very normal (if annoying) mom stuff. This lowered her credibility for me to a level where I could not appreciate the rest of the book.
I found 'Will I Ever Be Good Enough' (a book often recommended on the topic) to be much more accurate and reliable, and it presented much more information about the psychology of NPD in the family and resulting symptoms for children. If you are looking for more solid information, exercises, and a guide to recovery, I would suggest that book instead.
April 12, 2020
As a licensed professional counselor, I found this book to be disturbing. It feels like it may misguide those looking to heal from maternal narcissism because it is written like someone processing through their angry emotions. It sounds like a book report someone did where they regurgitated everything they found on the internet on the subject that fit their personal narrative, whether factual or not. The author creates terms that she states, "we call this..." and I'm wondering who "we" is considering she has no credentials nor does she site a single evidence-based resource or site other than the DSM and her own forum site. After seeing some of the comments about the author's chapter on EFT, all I can say is that this would be something you should do with an actual therapist or better yet find yourself an EMDR therapist because having a narcissistic parent is traumatic and healing requires deeper work not just a self-help book, especially not one like this.
March 6, 2014
I found this book really interesting and enlightening. I really enjoyed the book until I got to the section entitled EFT Scripts. I just couldn't take the tapping seriously.
February 23, 2019
4-4.5
I love this book so much
I read this is 2 days which is pretty good for someone with concentration problems. It was informative and motivating and just a huge eye opener. It validated me in ways I didn't know I needed, even though my mom isn't a narcissist (and even though im a boy) she has many traits. The whole EFT thing or whatever it was wasn't for me though.
One thing I didn't like was that she repeated herself SOMETIMES, not a lot and how often she wrote "more on this in the next chapter" or "more on this on page x", I PERSONALLY don't like that but I do like that she did it so you can skip and jump between chapters very easily and that might be helpful when I'm reading this in the future. Also this would be higher rated if she was a professional, I prefer listening to people with an education AND experience but I don't mind that it was only from experience, I think that gave it's own perks
I love this book so much
I read this is 2 days which is pretty good for someone with concentration problems. It was informative and motivating and just a huge eye opener. It validated me in ways I didn't know I needed, even though my mom isn't a narcissist (and even though im a boy) she has many traits. The whole EFT thing or whatever it was wasn't for me though.
One thing I didn't like was that she repeated herself SOMETIMES, not a lot and how often she wrote "more on this in the next chapter" or "more on this on page x", I PERSONALLY don't like that but I do like that she did it so you can skip and jump between chapters very easily and that might be helpful when I'm reading this in the future. Also this would be higher rated if she was a professional, I prefer listening to people with an education AND experience but I don't mind that it was only from experience, I think that gave it's own perks
January 28, 2017
It is a relief to have a name for this behavior!
I have had such a struggle in adult life dealing with my mother. She could go years without talking to me and then only call me when she needed something from me. It was so painful! Especially because the rules for my siblings were so different.
I have had such a struggle in adult life dealing with my mother. She could go years without talking to me and then only call me when she needed something from me. It was so painful! Especially because the rules for my siblings were so different.
June 24, 2018
I think a lot of the other reviews may be a little harsh. I’m not knocking your experience reading this book, but I can bet enough readers got their money’s worth by the end of this read. I think that even though Ms. Morrigan isn’t a licensed professional in psychology, she brings her personal experience and that of many others to the table in this book. While some of what she writes might not pertain to your personal experience, I’ll bet a piece or two of what’s written is relatable. For me, I felt like Ms. Morrigan crept into my past, into my wounded heart and wrote my story. A lot of the examples listed in this book describe my mom and my toxic relationship with her. So many times while reading this book I’d elbow my husband and say, “Omg, this is so spot on!”
Ms. Morrigan is right about finding a good therapist, one that specializes in narcissistic relationships. I was lucky enough to find such a therapist and she helped me so much. She even turned me onto EFT. I was skeptical about the technique at first, but after practice, I really could re-wire some of my negative, misguided, hard-wired thinking about myself. It’s really hard to do this, on your own, when you’re told you’re a “useless, worthless, good for nothing, ungrateful, little bitch” for most of your life... But, EFT is helpful if given a fair chance...
Anyway, my point is, even if this book isn’t your cup of tea, it will be for someone out there like me who can relate to the stories and examples written about. It gives useful, helpful insight into what the heck is wrong with your mother and helps you realize it is NOT you! There are tons of other books on this same subject, so it doesn’t hurt to get different takes on the topic. Becoming better educated on this disorder really empowers the DONM’s and gives them a fighting chance to have normalcy in their lives. The best thing I got out of this book has been to realize that I may be wounded, but I’m healing...
Ms. Morrigan is right about finding a good therapist, one that specializes in narcissistic relationships. I was lucky enough to find such a therapist and she helped me so much. She even turned me onto EFT. I was skeptical about the technique at first, but after practice, I really could re-wire some of my negative, misguided, hard-wired thinking about myself. It’s really hard to do this, on your own, when you’re told you’re a “useless, worthless, good for nothing, ungrateful, little bitch” for most of your life... But, EFT is helpful if given a fair chance...
Anyway, my point is, even if this book isn’t your cup of tea, it will be for someone out there like me who can relate to the stories and examples written about. It gives useful, helpful insight into what the heck is wrong with your mother and helps you realize it is NOT you! There are tons of other books on this same subject, so it doesn’t hurt to get different takes on the topic. Becoming better educated on this disorder really empowers the DONM’s and gives them a fighting chance to have normalcy in their lives. The best thing I got out of this book has been to realize that I may be wounded, but I’m healing...
September 16, 2021
Quick unedited thoughts
Such a valid and necessary book. After listening to this topic on YT, from many different people, this book explained it best. I believe because the author lived it. She has also listened to others and heard their stories. To understand you have to have lived it. Others may empathize, but truly understand..I don’t think it’s possible. The damage these mothers do is life long. It never goes away. Only the strong survive it. I could not put this book down. I finished 70% in one sitting. I felt seen and heard, finally. I will reread this book, I’m sure, over and over. It’s probably the most highlighted and noted kindle book I’ve ever read. I skimmed over the tapping method. It probably works, but I will have to revisit that part. I highly recommend!
I received an advanced reader copy from Darton Longman Todd via Netgalley
Such a valid and necessary book. After listening to this topic on YT, from many different people, this book explained it best. I believe because the author lived it. She has also listened to others and heard their stories. To understand you have to have lived it. Others may empathize, but truly understand..I don’t think it’s possible. The damage these mothers do is life long. It never goes away. Only the strong survive it. I could not put this book down. I finished 70% in one sitting. I felt seen and heard, finally. I will reread this book, I’m sure, over and over. It’s probably the most highlighted and noted kindle book I’ve ever read. I skimmed over the tapping method. It probably works, but I will have to revisit that part. I highly recommend!
I received an advanced reader copy from Darton Longman Todd via Netgalley
September 18, 2015
Life changing!!
As a daughter of a narcissistic mother this book was a life changer for me!! I recommend it to a anyone who suspects or even knows their mother has narcissistic personality disorder.
As a daughter of a narcissistic mother this book was a life changer for me!! I recommend it to a anyone who suspects or even knows their mother has narcissistic personality disorder.
February 1, 2016
A basic intro to mothers with narcissistic personality disorders and the traits you would see in them. No real advice to dealing with them but to cutting them off completely. The author of this book was very geared toward selling her other products and manuals, which I'm not interested in at all. There are other books that I have sampled and going to read with more advice on on helping the victims rather than cutting off from the mother and how to heal yourself. 2 stars.
March 17, 2015
Wow... I did not know there were other people out there who had this same type of traumatic experience with their mother. It helped so much to learn I am not alone. Danu - you are so courageous and have helped me greatly!! Thank you!!!
March 23, 2023
Girl boss, gaslight, gatekeep 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
December 11, 2018
As a DONM and a few other relatives that are Narcissists, this book was a breath of fresh air. I appreciated that it wasn't presented from a clinical abstract view of what it's like to be a DONM or just dealing with Narcs in general, but that it was written from someone who actually knows what it is like. I didn't even know there was a word for it until a few years ago. All the stages so clearly describe and explain my own journey. I went No Contact over a year ago and still battle the guilt that is also clearly described in the book. The conversations, the interactions, how difficult it is to have relationships and even function as a DONM, always feeling guilty, always second-guessing yourself... all the inner feelings and struggles with self-worth, value, etc... are so spot on and such a healing balm to these wounds that have lasted a lifetime so far.
It is refreshing and encouraging to hear that we are not crazy, despite what the Narcs and their enablers tried to make us believe.
I learned a few things also, particularly about the differences of the neglectful narc and the hovering narc that was way too involved in the child's life. It described to a tee the way my own NM has been with me and my kids. I can't even explain how amazing it is to have nearly every single thing I've gone through in my life with Narcs listed in a book by someone else. It is the ultimate therapy having someone else who has been there holding your hand and walking you through it.
I also appreciated the explanation of EFT. I am certified in something similar, AFT (Aroma Freedom Technique) that has been supremely helpful for me in clearing away all the gunk and replacing the negative mindsets with the truth. It's so nice to see other holistic techniques included for help with emotional healing.
Above all, I highly recommend this book for those who've had the curse to be around, let alone raised, by narcissists. It is simple to read and covers the bases for those needing encouragement and practical advice and explanations. I will definitely be getting a printed copy to add to my resources as well as recommending this book to others.
Thank you Danu!!!
It is refreshing and encouraging to hear that we are not crazy, despite what the Narcs and their enablers tried to make us believe.
I learned a few things also, particularly about the differences of the neglectful narc and the hovering narc that was way too involved in the child's life. It described to a tee the way my own NM has been with me and my kids. I can't even explain how amazing it is to have nearly every single thing I've gone through in my life with Narcs listed in a book by someone else. It is the ultimate therapy having someone else who has been there holding your hand and walking you through it.
I also appreciated the explanation of EFT. I am certified in something similar, AFT (Aroma Freedom Technique) that has been supremely helpful for me in clearing away all the gunk and replacing the negative mindsets with the truth. It's so nice to see other holistic techniques included for help with emotional healing.
Above all, I highly recommend this book for those who've had the curse to be around, let alone raised, by narcissists. It is simple to read and covers the bases for those needing encouragement and practical advice and explanations. I will definitely be getting a printed copy to add to my resources as well as recommending this book to others.
Thank you Danu!!!
September 20, 2021
All you can do as a child of a narcissist is do your best to make sense of the messy and toxic situation, and this book is designed to help you with that. You are not broken in need of fixing. You are wounded in need of healing.
Narcissists know what they’re doing; they just don’t care and absolutely don’t care about how we feel. They don’t consider us real people, or if they do, it doesn’t matter.
Our narcissistic mother convinced us: if we tried hard enough we could win her approval and her love. If we were good enough, or wise enough, or beautiful enough, or ...or... or... It's never enough!
The reality of having a narcissistic mother is that she can’t love you, not because you’re unlovable, but because she is incapable of love. It is a flaw in her, not in you.
This books is so valuable because Dani Morrigan experienced and lived with narcissistic mother and finally someone really understands what you went through. The knowledge about Narcissistic Personality Disorder explains so very much about your life and your relationship with your mother. It explains everything. You’re not crazy! You were right to think things were odd. Your perceptions are right. You are not the flawed person she told you that you were.
Insightful, useful and must-read for all daughters/children of narcissistic parents.
Narcissists know what they’re doing; they just don’t care and absolutely don’t care about how we feel. They don’t consider us real people, or if they do, it doesn’t matter.
Our narcissistic mother convinced us: if we tried hard enough we could win her approval and her love. If we were good enough, or wise enough, or beautiful enough, or ...or... or... It's never enough!
The reality of having a narcissistic mother is that she can’t love you, not because you’re unlovable, but because she is incapable of love. It is a flaw in her, not in you.
This books is so valuable because Dani Morrigan experienced and lived with narcissistic mother and finally someone really understands what you went through. The knowledge about Narcissistic Personality Disorder explains so very much about your life and your relationship with your mother. It explains everything. You’re not crazy! You were right to think things were odd. Your perceptions are right. You are not the flawed person she told you that you were.
Insightful, useful and must-read for all daughters/children of narcissistic parents.
January 21, 2020
DNF, did not like how it was written. Seemed bitter, rather than healing.
August 12, 2024
This book opened my eyes from all the years of gaslighting, and seeing the toxic behaviour of particular family members I am no contact with. It’s not you. If you are surrounded by narcissists in your family and specifically your Mom this is the book for you. I have had nothing but positive experiences with the author and Danu works really hard to bring narcissistic behaviour to light and help people.
July 22, 2015
Good Book
It's a helpful book. It's pretty comprehensive on the subject. I believe EFT should not have been preached but suggested, in the healing section. Tapping is not for everyone, and I think the author would have been better off explaining it as just one method of healing. On the side of the book that talks about Narcissistic Mothers it was well written and comprehensive. It's a good introduction on the idea.
It's a helpful book. It's pretty comprehensive on the subject. I believe EFT should not have been preached but suggested, in the healing section. Tapping is not for everyone, and I think the author would have been better off explaining it as just one method of healing. On the side of the book that talks about Narcissistic Mothers it was well written and comprehensive. It's a good introduction on the idea.
February 19, 2017
Finally...after years of therapy, I feel like I'm on the right track
This book has done more for me in one week since I started reading it than the combined years of self work, seeking, and therapy. I'm grateful to the author for this book - feeling like it was written for me, feeling finally validated is such a blessing. Thank you Danu. If you find yourself researching this book because you suspect you need it, honor that impulse and read it asap. You won't be sorry.
This book has done more for me in one week since I started reading it than the combined years of self work, seeking, and therapy. I'm grateful to the author for this book - feeling like it was written for me, feeling finally validated is such a blessing. Thank you Danu. If you find yourself researching this book because you suspect you need it, honor that impulse and read it asap. You won't be sorry.
May 13, 2016
This book changed my life. I see myself in so many places in the writing. For once, I feel understood. I do not feel alone. I finally get it. This is not my fault and I am not crazy. I feel lighter. I feel hope. I am ready to let go and be happy.
September 28, 2013
Really, really good! Enlightening and helpful!
November 11, 2024
This book is amazing! I think I highlighted something on nearly every page because I could relate to most of what the author said in this book. Not only did I love the relatability within this book, but I thoroughly enjoyed the techniques that the author takes you through at the end in order to produce a psychic change in your emotions about your mother. This book gave me the strength and the capability to do what I needed to do: go no contact with my narcissistic mom without feeling bad about it. I found some good resources within its pages as well: like websites and such.
March 15, 2022
I don't know why this is so focused on daughters and mothers. I honestly saw nothing in it that was gender restrictive, nothing specific to girls and moms. This book (in my eyes) could have easily been gender neutral by moving "daughter" to "child" and "mother" to "parent" and "she" to "they".
That being said, this is a woman talking about being a daughter who was raised by a narcissitic mother. And it does this, as such there's a lot of useful information here>
There is also a lot of.... other stuff.
I found it incredibly helpful because I just needed something that said hey this is real. Something external to me to validate my experiences (even if this was gendered).
There's, so much other stuff though (many many many absolute statements, for example). I don't want to be told by a non-professional how to do therapy, for another. Please if there is a technique that helps then say it helped you and to contact a professional. She should not be teaching people therapy techniques - leave that to the professionals who have the training and do the work.
So much of the book was dedicated to her explaining a therapy method that she isn't trained to facilitate. Explaining it to people that she doesn't know, claiming it's a cure-all. This is dangerous.
Randomly the book also felt like Buddhism lite with zero acknowledgement of where those teachings come from. This, needless to say, is incredibly uncomfortable. The bouncing back and forth between absolute statements of absoluteitude and then almost-Buddhist calm was disorienting. If you can ignore that part, there is useful information to be gleaned.
Further readings on the actions of Danu has made me downvote this a tad to 1 star, parts of the book did help me with what I needed to work through - but honestly any book that talks about narcissism would handle this and unfortunately I can't support something that could channel people to harm.
That being said, this is a woman talking about being a daughter who was raised by a narcissitic mother. And it does this, as such there's a lot of useful information here>
There is also a lot of.... other stuff.
I found it incredibly helpful because I just needed something that said hey this is real. Something external to me to validate my experiences (even if this was gendered).
There's, so much other stuff though (many many many absolute statements, for example). I don't want to be told by a non-professional how to do therapy, for another. Please if there is a technique that helps then say it helped you and to contact a professional. She should not be teaching people therapy techniques - leave that to the professionals who have the training and do the work.
So much of the book was dedicated to her explaining a therapy method that she isn't trained to facilitate. Explaining it to people that she doesn't know, claiming it's a cure-all. This is dangerous.
Randomly the book also felt like Buddhism lite with zero acknowledgement of where those teachings come from. This, needless to say, is incredibly uncomfortable. The bouncing back and forth between absolute statements of absoluteitude and then almost-Buddhist calm was disorienting. If you can ignore that part, there is useful information to be gleaned.
Further readings on the actions of Danu has made me downvote this a tad to 1 star, parts of the book did help me with what I needed to work through - but honestly any book that talks about narcissism would handle this and unfortunately I can't support something that could channel people to harm.
January 26, 2022
The easiest and hardest thing to read
This book is so easy to read because you finally feel heard and you can pinpoint things that you know weren't right but could never put a finger on it or explain it to anyone. It is also the hardest thing to read because you have to face and accept the trauma that you have. I honestly couldn't put it down! I recommended it to a friend and she loves it too. So so worth it
This book is so easy to read because you finally feel heard and you can pinpoint things that you know weren't right but could never put a finger on it or explain it to anyone. It is also the hardest thing to read because you have to face and accept the trauma that you have. I honestly couldn't put it down! I recommended it to a friend and she loves it too. So so worth it
June 29, 2021
Interesting beginner thoughts but the writing style is just so annoying. She is not a psychiatrist not does she have any background in the area other than being a daughter of a narcissist. She said "But we'll talk more about that later" more times than I could count. I'm interested in reading more on this topic from someone with a degree in the field. I could not finish this book.
August 11, 2015
Why
What I liked is so much of this book is true with my mother and it helps me to learn it's not me it's her and will never change you have to except it. It teaches me I am not the one with the problem and I don't have to take it.
What I liked is so much of this book is true with my mother and it helps me to learn it's not me it's her and will never change you have to except it. It teaches me I am not the one with the problem and I don't have to take it.
February 17, 2020
The author is not a mental health professional, but everything in her book is correct.
As the scapegoat daughter of a narcissistic mother who is the ringleader of a narcissistic family, I recommend this book to all DONMs.
As the scapegoat daughter of a narcissistic mother who is the ringleader of a narcissistic family, I recommend this book to all DONMs.
June 29, 2015
A rare gift
This book has been the only thing /voice/ help in me feeling recognised for all the years of abuse and doubt and harsh internal judgment I made of myself.
This book has been the only thing /voice/ help in me feeling recognised for all the years of abuse and doubt and harsh internal judgment I made of myself.
January 12, 2023
The book itself said a lot of things I needed to hear, and I appreciate it for that. I needed to hear that I'm not broken, unloveable, and a f*cked up person. I'm slowly learning to love myself again, and this book helped me come to a lot of realizations. Preferably, the language didn't need to be as gendered as it was, but it's understandable considering the author is commiserating with fellow daughters who were abused by narcissistic mothers. However, my gripe with this book is the EBT stuff. What started out as a suggestion quickly became something that the author was trying to force, and it made me uncomfortable. I would have preferred if the author went into more about journaling and other exercises that can help, such as self-love affirmations and other writing sprints to help release trauma. Overall, the book was decently written, and I'm thankful for having come across it on Amazon. I recommend it as a read for anyone going through a similar experience, but ultimately, how you choose to heal is up to you. No one can dictate your healing process except you.
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