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In Search of a Help Meet: A Guide for Men Looking for the Right One
In today’s world, finding that perfect woman is a difficult art or maybe a far-out gamble, and few there be that find the lady of their dreams. Making a good choice starts with knowledge of what you need, and how to spot the gal who has your number. Choosing the type of woman who not only turns you on but also relates well to you is the key to a glorious marriage. I guess the real issue is that most guys don’t have a clue on how women tick and they sure don’t know what they should be looking for. In Search of a Help Meet is a clear, focused plan for becoming a man of honor, getting primed for marriage and guidance in the search for the right lady. Michael and his wife Debi have been happily married since 1971 and have authored many blockbuster books on love, sex, and marriage.
248 pages, Paperback
First published October 25, 2012
11 people are currently reading
67 people want to read
About the author
Michael Pearl
127 books50 followersMichael and Debi Pearl were both raised in Memphis, Tennessee, in good homes, by parents who were faithful to point them to God. Mike, a graduate of Mid-South Bible College in Memphis (now Victory University), has been active in evangelism and the work of the ministry since he was a teenager. He worked with Union Mission in Memphis for 25 years, while he and Debi also ministered to the many military families in Memphis and pastored churches. They moved to rural Tennessee where they continued in the work by holding Bible studies in local homes, which eventually led to regular meetings of the local body of believers, and by starting the prison ministry. God eventually led them into the ministry of writing on child training and family relationships, which they now feel is their life’s work and calling. In addition to the child training ministry, the work of the prison ministry, missions, Bible studies, and family life is still ongoing. The Pearls have been married since 1971, and have 5 children and 18 grandchildren. The Pearl children have always been involved in their parents’ ministry, and in their adulthood continue to be involved in some way in ministering where they are.
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
August 28, 2015
I was pleasantly surprised.
A friend loaned this book to me and I have now ordered a copy for Destry. I like Pearl's blunt voice, although sometimes he is a little crude and that raises my eyebrows in surprise (really? horny? a married woman dressing "fit-to-be-bred"? It didn't offend me, and I really don't think I'm a prude, it just surprised me a little. It seems like there was another one that raised my eyebrows, but I'm not remembering it now.). Overall, however, I think his "command man", to-the-point voice is appropriate for young men. It seems men can say things to other men that women just can't get away with. I even like the way he occasionally said things to the effect that he's wasting his words on many of the young men out there who won't have their priorities straight. I think it could make a young man determine not to be one of the "punks" that Pearl is writing off.
I really like the way he counsels a young man in seeking a wife. He encourages him to seek the Lord first, to seek many counselors, and ultimately to accept responsibility to love the one he chooses. He realizes that anyone else arranging a marriage is just not as likely to work. I like the way he reminds a young man that he is not perfect himself, and he is likely to attract a girl of a similar standard (so work on yourself and your relationship with the Lord first).
I think my favorite aspect of the book is the "time to consider" at the end of each chapter. I'm hoping Destry will take these seriously. I also found it interesting that it includes a Bible study for a young man to lead a prospective wife through at the end.
His thoughts on divorce are particularly good. Sadly, I some of his commentary brought specific couples to my mind, particularly the following: "Divorce never just happens; it comes in increments, daily making decisions to love one's self and protect one's pride rather than love as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. . .(that couple) has been actively hating each other, baiting each other, and living so as to cause grief instead of glory" (138).
Alan has started this and is planning to read it with Destry, and I have to admit I am looking forward to some of the conversations even Alan and I will have from the topics in the book.
A friend loaned this book to me and I have now ordered a copy for Destry. I like Pearl's blunt voice, although sometimes he is a little crude and that raises my eyebrows in surprise (really? horny? a married woman dressing "fit-to-be-bred"? It didn't offend me, and I really don't think I'm a prude, it just surprised me a little. It seems like there was another one that raised my eyebrows, but I'm not remembering it now.). Overall, however, I think his "command man", to-the-point voice is appropriate for young men. It seems men can say things to other men that women just can't get away with. I even like the way he occasionally said things to the effect that he's wasting his words on many of the young men out there who won't have their priorities straight. I think it could make a young man determine not to be one of the "punks" that Pearl is writing off.
I really like the way he counsels a young man in seeking a wife. He encourages him to seek the Lord first, to seek many counselors, and ultimately to accept responsibility to love the one he chooses. He realizes that anyone else arranging a marriage is just not as likely to work. I like the way he reminds a young man that he is not perfect himself, and he is likely to attract a girl of a similar standard (so work on yourself and your relationship with the Lord first).
I think my favorite aspect of the book is the "time to consider" at the end of each chapter. I'm hoping Destry will take these seriously. I also found it interesting that it includes a Bible study for a young man to lead a prospective wife through at the end.
His thoughts on divorce are particularly good. Sadly, I some of his commentary brought specific couples to my mind, particularly the following: "Divorce never just happens; it comes in increments, daily making decisions to love one's self and protect one's pride rather than love as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. . .(that couple) has been actively hating each other, baiting each other, and living so as to cause grief instead of glory" (138).
Alan has started this and is planning to read it with Destry, and I have to admit I am looking forward to some of the conversations even Alan and I will have from the topics in the book.
August 22, 2013
Blunt, almost coarse, and to the point this is an excellent book to aid young men in their search for a suitable help meet.
July 9, 2013
A must read for prospecting young men, and parents too! A very practical and in depth look at what a man needs to be searching for in a potential life partner, and what he should be wary of!
March 14, 2023
3-5-8 or 2.7
November 14, 2015
The book put a bad taste in my mouth from the beginning with it's crudeness, and as I continued to read, I ultimately had to conclude that I don't care for Michael Pearl's coarse and sometimes condescending writing style. Perhaps others would enjoy it, though.
The book also had many good things to say, but nothing that hasn't been said before or better by others.
The main unique element was the concept of the three types of men and women. I am not completely sure what to make of such narrow categories, but the author does point out there is, and should be, a lot of overlap, so I think the simplification can be helpful.
Ultimately, however, I'm not sure this is a book I can recommend, based on some ideas that are flat out wrong, such as the idea that you are incomplete, and that your life can't really begin until you are married. Embracing such an idea I believe can lead to a lot of harm, and I also think Jesus and Paul would disagree.
All considered, while this book does have some merit, it didn't answer any questions for me, and I found it often more discouraging than encouraging at times. Of course, I've found just about every book I've read relating to marriage to be rather discouraging, except for ones written by the Ludy's.
The book also had many good things to say, but nothing that hasn't been said before or better by others.
The main unique element was the concept of the three types of men and women. I am not completely sure what to make of such narrow categories, but the author does point out there is, and should be, a lot of overlap, so I think the simplification can be helpful.
Ultimately, however, I'm not sure this is a book I can recommend, based on some ideas that are flat out wrong, such as the idea that you are incomplete, and that your life can't really begin until you are married. Embracing such an idea I believe can lead to a lot of harm, and I also think Jesus and Paul would disagree.
All considered, while this book does have some merit, it didn't answer any questions for me, and I found it often more discouraging than encouraging at times. Of course, I've found just about every book I've read relating to marriage to be rather discouraging, except for ones written by the Ludy's.
October 16, 2023
I love Mr. Pearl’s approach to this subject. He’s not afraid to address hard issues and gets real with the audience. He’s blunt, in a good way, sometimes making me laugh with how down to earth he is. All in all a very helpful guide for young men such as myself who are awaiting and searching for a godly woman to be the best friend, ministry partner and love of my life. God grant us wisdom to choose wisely!
February 21, 2013
A short read packed full of wisdom. Straight to the point. Maybe a little to straight to the point. No nonsense regarding dating/courting/betrothal.
March 25, 2014
Totally enlightening, this book. Michael's wisdom has cut my notions to size. This is definitely a MUST read for every young man looking towards a godly marriage. Definitely worth reading again
July 21, 2015
great book. all young men should read this book. all parents with children should read this book. excellent!
September 11, 2014
Essential read for all single Christian men, counselors, and fathers.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews