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Liebe kann warten
Dieses Buch besteht zum größten Teil aus Geschichten, wie Männer und Frauen sich gegenseitig finden. Manche folgten dabei dem besten Führer – andere taten es nicht. Ist es möglich, in unseren Tagen auch in dieser Angelegenheit Gottes Willen zu tun? Ist es möglich, den Trends der heutigen Zeit Widerstand zu leisten? Die Autorin entwickelt kein Rezept, nach dem man einen Lebenspartner findet. Eher beschreibt sie unterschiedliche Wege, auf denen Gott an verschiedenen Menschen gewirkt hat. Es gibt keine Einheitsformel für die Ehefindung, doch die stete Wiederkehr gewisser Themen, Methoden und zeitloser Grundsätze sind der Beachtung wert.
256 pages, Perfect Paperback
First published January 1, 1996
About the author
Elisabeth Elliot
146 books2,402 followersFrom the Author's Web Site: My parents were missionaries in Belgium where I was born. When I was a few months old, we came to the U.S. and lived in Germantown, not far from Philadelphia, where my father became an editor of the Sunday School Times. Some of my contemporaries may remember the publication which was used by hundreds of churches for their weekly unified Sunday School teaching materials.
Our family continued to live in Philadelphia and then in New Jersey until I left home to attend Wheaton College. By that time, the family had increased to four brothers and one sister. My studies in classical Greek would one day enable me to work in the area of unwritten languages to develop a form of writing.
A year after I went to Ecuador, Jim Elliot, whom I had met at Wheaton, also entered tribal areas with the Quichua Indians. In nineteen fifty three we were married in the city of Quito and continued our work together. Jim had always hoped to have the opportunity to enter the territory of an unreached tribe. The Aucas were in that category -- a fierce group whom no one had succeeded in meeting without being killed. After the discovery of their whereabouts, Jim and four other missionaries entered Auca territory. After a friendly contact with three of the tribe, they were speared to death.
Our daughter Valerie was 10 months old when Jim was killed. I continued working with the Quichua Indians when, through a remarkable providence, I met two Auca women who lived with me for one year. They were the key to my going in to live with the tribe that had killed the five missionaries. I remained there for two years.
After having worked for two years with the Aucas, I returned to the Quichua work and remained there until 1963 when Valerie and I returned to the U.S.
Since then, my life has been one of writing and speaking. It also included, in 1969, a marriage to Addison Leitch, professor of theology at Gordon Conwell Seminary in Massachusetts. He died in 1973. After his death I had two lodgers in my home. One of them married my daughter, the other one, Lars Gren, married me. Since then we have worked together.
Our family continued to live in Philadelphia and then in New Jersey until I left home to attend Wheaton College. By that time, the family had increased to four brothers and one sister. My studies in classical Greek would one day enable me to work in the area of unwritten languages to develop a form of writing.
A year after I went to Ecuador, Jim Elliot, whom I had met at Wheaton, also entered tribal areas with the Quichua Indians. In nineteen fifty three we were married in the city of Quito and continued our work together. Jim had always hoped to have the opportunity to enter the territory of an unreached tribe. The Aucas were in that category -- a fierce group whom no one had succeeded in meeting without being killed. After the discovery of their whereabouts, Jim and four other missionaries entered Auca territory. After a friendly contact with three of the tribe, they were speared to death.
Our daughter Valerie was 10 months old when Jim was killed. I continued working with the Quichua Indians when, through a remarkable providence, I met two Auca women who lived with me for one year. They were the key to my going in to live with the tribe that had killed the five missionaries. I remained there for two years.
After having worked for two years with the Aucas, I returned to the Quichua work and remained there until 1963 when Valerie and I returned to the U.S.
Since then, my life has been one of writing and speaking. It also included, in 1969, a marriage to Addison Leitch, professor of theology at Gordon Conwell Seminary in Massachusetts. He died in 1973. After his death I had two lodgers in my home. One of them married my daughter, the other one, Lars Gren, married me. Since then we have worked together.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 99 reviews
July 10, 2011
Since I have been married for over 25 years, why would I read a book like this? The one main reason is to learn more about faith. It takes faith to live a life that the bar is raised in such a book like this. It is not about do's and don'ts, but more about attitude of the heart, a heart after the Lord and His will for your life, and the blessing that come with it. Regrettably, many believers and non believers alike feel judged when people choose to raise the bar in their own lifes. When one lives a life of the word, others are going to feel judged because the word is living and cuts to the heart. I pray in my own life, that I live more according to the word and not be worried about what others think.
I don't believe this is impossible, because with all things, with God, it is possible and the stories reflect that. I hope men and women read this if they are serious about following God's will for their life. It is based on scripture and you see God's hand on each if these stories.
I am looking forward to read more of Elisabeth Elliot.
I don't believe this is impossible, because with all things, with God, it is possible and the stories reflect that. I hope men and women read this if they are serious about following God's will for their life. It is based on scripture and you see God's hand on each if these stories.
I am looking forward to read more of Elisabeth Elliot.
November 14, 2008
one of Mrs. Elliot-Gren's best. She tells true stories of several couples who trusted God for the perfect mate and were not let down!
July 18, 2012
Elisabeth Elliot is one of my favorite speakers (on podcasts mostly but nonetheless my favorite) and after reading this book I might even consider her to be a role-model. I read her other book Passion and Purity after hearing her speak a few times and was very touched by her utter devotion to Christ. This book was the same. Her commitment to God and her devotion to submitting her life to God entirely and her urge for other Christian women to do the same, is very present throughout the book.
The book doesn't focus too much on her. It's a collection of her essays on topics of marriage and it contains many different love stories. Out of all the love stories I've read, the ones in this book are the most God-focused stories. The men and women in the stories mostly find marriage by giving themselves up to God.
Here's a little quote from the concluding chapter of the book:
"This book does not offer a prescription for finding a life partner. Rather it presents descriptions of different ways in which God, our Guide and Guard, has worked with different people. There is no single formula for approaching marriage, but the recurrence of certain themes, methods, and timeless principles is noteworthy..."
Her approach to a God-centered marriage may appear finite and abrupt as she is very adamant about the ideas of Biblical femininity and masculinity but they are based on Scripture. My personal favorite chapter/story in this book is the one of the Indian lady who writes beautifully about the differences in the west and the east in finding love. She is quite ruthless and transparent in articulating the differences. She resisted the culture of arranged marriage and escapes to America only to seek it out again. And then she finds her husband. :)
The book doesn't focus too much on her. It's a collection of her essays on topics of marriage and it contains many different love stories. Out of all the love stories I've read, the ones in this book are the most God-focused stories. The men and women in the stories mostly find marriage by giving themselves up to God.
Here's a little quote from the concluding chapter of the book:
"This book does not offer a prescription for finding a life partner. Rather it presents descriptions of different ways in which God, our Guide and Guard, has worked with different people. There is no single formula for approaching marriage, but the recurrence of certain themes, methods, and timeless principles is noteworthy..."
Her approach to a God-centered marriage may appear finite and abrupt as she is very adamant about the ideas of Biblical femininity and masculinity but they are based on Scripture. My personal favorite chapter/story in this book is the one of the Indian lady who writes beautifully about the differences in the west and the east in finding love. She is quite ruthless and transparent in articulating the differences. She resisted the culture of arranged marriage and escapes to America only to seek it out again. And then she finds her husband. :)
January 30, 2024
Pretty good book overall. Very easy read and has good biblical principles when it comes to dating. I’m just a sucker for any love story and getting to read different ways the Lord brought two people together was encouraging and fun! I’m sure reading passion and purity would make me appreciate this book more since this book goes with that one. Some of the older stories may seem outdated (people getting engaged right after meeting each other & arranged marriages) and share more of a women’s perspective on the relationship but definitely still see God’s character in the stories shared and questions answered!
August 21, 2026
“Only He knows which is the best spouse for us. Otherwise you may think you are getting a peach when you are in reality getting a lemon. Ask God first.”
“It’s all material for sacrifice.”
“"Isn't it being deceptive if you don't tell him how you feel?" He has no right to know until he has told you how he feels, which ought to accompany his proposal. My father taught my four brothers that they should never tell a woman "I love you" until they were ready to follow that declaration with an immediate, "Will you marry me?"”
“She was made to be his helper, comforter, lover. He was to initiate, she to respond.”
*Eve initiated and therefore sin, sorrow, and death were the result.*
“"Lord, I'm not afraid of doing Your will," she confided in her prayers, "but I am afraid of the unknown. And so much of my future husband is unknown to me."”
“C. S. Lewis defines "falling in love" as similar to the explosion that starts the engine. Must one wait for the explosion? Being-in-lovis a feeling. Real love goes far beyond feeling. The great Love Chapter in the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13, describes what God calls love. It will be seen that romantic feelings, far from being prerequisite, have nothing to do with it.”
“To commit oneself to marriage is to give oneself in trust, to put one's life at the disposal of the other. It is, in fact, actually to forfeit rights and to consign oneself to the charge of another person. One who commits his way to the Lord also does just this. No one will do that who does not trust Him. Whom do we trust? On whose integrity, veracity, justice, or even faithful friendship can we rely? Am I worthy of another's trust? Am I a person in whom confidence can be reposed? Commitment entails the acceptance of responsibility. It imposes a task and a trust. It is a promise to do something, a pledge to pursue a certain course. To love is to make a commitment.”
“Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes, and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all, utterly to Thee to be Thine forever. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Use me as Thou wilt, send me where Thou wilt, work out Thy whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever.””
“A steadfast heart is not prone to fickleness.”
“Fear is faithlessness…”
“A man who has been rejected more than once begins to feel gun-shy. He fears that he is not marriageable material. Will he be consigned to lonely bachelorhood? If he tries again, will he be dumped? He has an overwhelming desire to be loved, to share his life with someone, to serve God with someone, to be a husband and father. Why won't God let someone into his life? he asks. When will it be his turn? He is afraid that the answer is NEVER. He feels deprived.”
“God never withholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good.”
“"Shall I one precious thing withhold-
One beautiful and bright,
One pure and precious thing withhold?
My child, it cannot be."”
“God's refusals are always merciful-"severe mercies" at times, as St. Augustine recognized (Confessions XI, 25), but mercies all the same.
I understand the fear so many describe. I know it well. But a long life has proved to me that most of the things I feared never happened. While it is perfectly true that some of my worst fears did, in fact, materialize, I see them now as "an abyss and mass of mercies," appointed and assigned by a loving and merciful Father who sees the end from the begin-ning. He asks us to trust Him.”
“Trust Him! Do what He says!”
“The more we learn to fear God the less we fear anything else. The fear of the Lord is the cure for boredom. It goes with living in the presence of God. It is a lamp in a dark place; it consumes malice and burns wrong thoughts. It is, according to Proverbs, life. It is the fruit of humility, and the first step to wisdom (Prov. 19:23; 22:4; 9:10).”
“A thirty-something woman explains her willingness to endure multiple break-ups as springing from the notion of deprivation: "I have always seen myself as 'deprived, I could never be a support to anyone else, so wrapped up in my own struggle. Today I read in 1 Peter 4:10 that we should employ our special gift in helping others as a good steward of the MANIFOLD grace of God. That word manifold hit me. It told me that God's grace is seen in all the different gifts He gives each of us, and we all share one another's. That does not sound like I am at all deprived. I even saw the most recent break-up as His GIFT to me.”
“"Well, companionship and fulfillment of all my anxious needs. It won't provide that, will it? Only You can do that whether I'm married or single. Lord, help me to seek to be only what is most glorifying to You, that I may love You with the obedience of my life."”
“Since then, in about a year's span, God has really changed my heart. First, I took a missions trip. It was a lesson in submission to God's will: First, I said I would not go. Then, I’d go if the man I was interested in went. Finally, I'd go if the Lord wanted me to. It was hard to get there, but I'm glad I did. Then, when I became interested in a man, I asked God for His permission first. When I tell people this, they don't understand. So I read P & P again. I no longer thought you needed to change your mentality. I saw you as a young woman going through the same struggles I was having. My friend laughed again. I then had to come to the point where I am now—waiting before the Lord about this man. I don't call. I don't go out of my way to talk to him-amazing for me! I'm working on being a woman for the Lord.”
“"The Lord taught me that preparing for marriage is not so much a matter of finding the right person as it is becoming the right person. I began to concentrate on my relationship with Christ."”
“God surely hears that prayer when it is accompanied by obedience in the things that are perfectly clear. Both the wisdom and the strength will always be given, in perfect mea-sure, when the time comes, if we take up quietly and faithfully the duties of today. Let us not make the mistake of directing our energies toward what is not today's business.
The best preparation for the future is always the conscientious carrying out of what is given us today.”
“Maturity is the acceptance of limitations. Every choice made in life rules out a thousand other possibilities. Love, in the last analysis, is a choice. You marry her because you love her. Then, from the wedding day forward, you learn to love her because you married her. Circumstances do not change the obligation to fulfill the solemn vow.”
“A strong spiritual principle is to pray through things, think about them in the presence of God, and stick with the decision. Did God hear your prayer? Do you believe He wants you to do His will? Then "don't dig up in doubt what you planted in faith." Believing prayer must be the practice of a Christian's whole life.”
“Ifwe imagine that happiness is to be found by furious pur-suit, we will end up in a rage at the unsatisfying results. If, on the other hand, we set ourselves to pursue the wise and loving and holy will of our Heavenly Father, we will find that happiness comes—quietly, in unexpected ways, and, surprisingly often, as the by-product of sacrifice.”
“Except for those far ahead of most of us in sanctity, waiting is a form of suffering-the difficulty of self-restraint, the anguish of unfulfilled longing, the bewilderment of unanswered prayer, my flesh and my heart failing, my soul breaking. These are indeed tribulations, and tribulation is the curriculum if we are to learn patience. We want answers now, right now, but we are required at times to walk in darkness. Nevertheless, God is in the darkness.”
“We both find waiting a hard thing but we are learning that the grace of God is enough for each day and that waiting brings patience and we need patience if we are to go through marriage. We have decided that where the will of God is, that is where we also want to be. Learning to rest in His hands and receive each day with thanksgiving is the lesson for now. Psalm 31:15, 'My times are in your hands, is my comfort.”
“"I am learning some lessons in giving up my right to myself. It is helpful to know that others have been through the course and that they were made of clay as 1 am. The thought that I was bought with a price liberates me. Everything becomes simpler when the question comes to me, 'And what am I to do now? How do I react to this?' I know what I must do the principle to which I always turn is this: I was bought at a price. I do not belong to myself. I don't have to listen to my emotional cries, my offended ego. I cannot do anything to keep my ego from bleeding, but I can ignore it and follow Christ."”
“"Sit still, my daughter," said Naomi to Ruth, "until thou know how the matter will fall (Ruth 3:18 kJV).”
“What if the wicked nature, which is as a sea casting out mire and dirt, rage against thee? There is a river, a sweet, still, flowing river, the streams whereof will make glad thy heart. And learn but in quietness and stillness to retire to the Lord, and wait upon Him, in whom thou shalt feel peace and joy, in the midst of thy trouble from the cruel and vexatious spirit of this world.”
“Often a Christian man or woman falls prey to that cruel and vexatious spirit, wondering how to find marriage, who, when, where? It is on God that we should wait, as a waiter waits—not for but on the customer—alert, watchful, atten-tive, with no agenda of his own, ready to do whatever is wanted. "My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him" (Ps. 62:5 KJV). In Him alone lie our security, our confidence, our trust. A spirit of restlessness and resistance can never wait, but one who believes he is loved with an everlasting love, and knows that underneath are the everlasting arms, will find strength and peace. God is in the waiting. "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect" (Ps. 18:32).”
“Love always entails suffering. One who loves God is willing to wait.”
“I do want His way. It takes faith when doubts flood in, such as, 'Will I ever marry?' and 'I feel worthless!' God is teaching me to chew on the TRUTH of His Word and to immediately humble myself in coming before Him for protection and help. The verse He gave me today is Psalm 119:165, 'Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.'”
“It is good that we should have to submit to what we do not understand. It teaches us the laws of faith and hope.
It is good that we should have to do what we should rather not, in circumstances not of our choice.
It is good that there should be always something to prick us on, something to remind us that we are in an enemy's country, belong to a marching column.
It is good that we should meet with checks and failures in what we undertake, to keep us humble and prayerful.
All these things belong to sowing in tears.
God seems to have laid out the order of things in His Church, not for a general and brilliant triumph but for the hidden sanctification of the individual souls which compose it.”
Prayer in Faith
“Probably not, at least for most of us, because we need the lessons loneliness brings. It is good for us, for that hidden sanctification.”
“It has taken me a long time to realize that it is these very struggles that God provides. Yes, I say provides. He does not let them "just happen."”
“…she has been learning what a Christ-centered relationship really is. She feels lonely at times,
"yet I am learning to praise God. He has given me so much 'life and more abundantly! I would not trade the joy, the learning, and the experiences I have now for anything.
Knowing that I am in His will is contentment that is far beyond what 'doing my own thing' could ever bring." Because we are sinners and live in a fractured world, we must have tribulation. Jesus promised it-but (don't forget He added, "Cheer up! I have overcome the world!"”
“"It should be no surprise that He wants everything in us. We are all His doing, nothing comes into being, has breath, has anything, without HIM, so it follows that our little deaths and tremendous joys should begin and end with HIM. Thus, the origin of our daily wars. "My little wars come and go. Exceedingly anxious about my lovelife, I fight on the front lines of desire and longings...I pull myself away, with head lowered and heart aching for the power to believe—that in giving up all of these games, I will not lose a step (as HE withholds no good thing).”
“There's the testimony of one person who desperately wants marriage but even more desperately wills the will of God, whether or not that includes marriage. This is evidence of grace in that life. No one of us could manage without God's marvelous, infinite, matchless grace. It is the pouring out of the gift of Himself to the heart that wills to receive Him, the heart that is open.”
“Stand still, wait, and do the work God has given.”
“Do the next thing. Lift up your heart. Trust that God took seriously your offering and rest in the knowledge that nothing but trust is required of you at this moment.”
“Who of us does not feel our weakness, fear being overcome by temptation too strong for us? All the more reason to keep out of the way of it. Jesus told the disciples to watch and pray in order not to enter into temptation. This is what watching means. Be on the alert. Be honest about your weak-ness. Stay clear of the thing that tempts you. Flee!”
“Look only at your Lord. Sing. Read. Work.”
“The remorse is far, far deeper than the height of the excitement ever was.”
“'Let's ask the Lord to keep him just for you.'”
“"Would you be happy in any state? Would you not find reason to murmur against Me if you were married? What is happiness for you? Don't you think I am aware of your situation and concerned for you-I who gave My life blood for
you in My only begotten Son?"”
“You promised to supply all my needs. You said that they who seek the Lord will not lack anything good.”
“"In My sovereign wisdom, knowing your present measure of sanctification and the fulfilling life which I now have for you, singleness is My best and most precious gift. Do not use My promises against Me as though by loving Me you would be able to obtain your own ends.
“"I have other things for you, specially for you. She walks a different path with different problems which would only bring you much unhappiness. Do not envy, but rejoice and be glad for her."”
“You no more know that than you knew ahead of time the day of your conversion. These things are yet to be revealed and still remain in My secret will. Even marriage is not forever but only comes as My gift one day at a time.”
“"To whom does tomorrow belong?"
"To You, God, I have given my life, plans, hopes, needs, my all. Therefore it is no longer mine to demand what I will. I do not even know whether You will deem it best that I have life tomorrow."”
“"Lord, Your grace all sufficient has been with me through some rough days, and if I can face tomorrow with Your grace as a single person then yes, also the tomorrow forty years from now."”
“If you are single today, the portion assigned to you for today is singleness. It is God's gift. Singleness ought not to be viewed as a problem, nor marriage as a right. God in His wisdom and love grants either as a gift. An unmarried person has the gift of singleness, not to be confused with the gift of celibacy. When we speak of the "gift of celibacy," we usually refer to one who is bound by vows not to marry. If you are not so bound, what may be your portion tomorrow is not your business today. Today's business is trust in the living God who precisely measures out, day by day, each one's portion.”
1. Surrender to the will of God.
2. Be faithful in performance of duties.
3. Expect God to guide.
4. Be watchful as to that guidance.
5. Set character as the priority.
6. Commit natural feelings to God.
7. Don't "date" but give a frank confession of love (this is the man's initiative).
8. Recognize God's gift.
“He then asked God to let the one he chose be the one God had chosen!”
“But I still kept believing and praying in patience.”
“He can search my girl among the nations, among billions of girls and He knows which one is best for me.”
“"As I sat praying, reading God's Word, and making a list of pro's and con's, I felt God saying, 'Why not? Haven't you prayed for marriage, and isn't this the kind of man you've prayed for?'”
“David tells me he knew in the first five minutes that I was the girl he'd waited his whole life to meet.”
“Intimacy clouding perspective.”
“…the marriage was arranged long ago in heaven, it was merely celebrated by us mortals down below.”
“Aim, above all else, at loving God.
Make a wholehearted surrender of your life to God.
Believe that He takes you at your word.
Do not be surprised at the opposition of the adversary.
Pray, making your requests known to God.
Watch.
Expect Him to give you what He knows is best for you.
Receive His answer for today.
Trust His timing.
Obey God in the least thing shown.
Commit your uncertainties and tears to Him.
Act on principle, not on impulse; will, not emotion.
Accept the demands of your masculinity or femininity.
Remember that to take up the cross means suffering.
Do not walk into temptation. Flee.
Make a commitment to be not merely careful but chaste.
Keep your hands off and your clothes on.
Confide in and seek help from an older Christian.
Be grateful for your assigned portion (Ps. 16:5).
Praise and sing to the Lord. Thank Him for everything.
Keep a quiet heart.
Do the next thing.”
“It’s all material for sacrifice.”
“"Isn't it being deceptive if you don't tell him how you feel?" He has no right to know until he has told you how he feels, which ought to accompany his proposal. My father taught my four brothers that they should never tell a woman "I love you" until they were ready to follow that declaration with an immediate, "Will you marry me?"”
“She was made to be his helper, comforter, lover. He was to initiate, she to respond.”
*Eve initiated and therefore sin, sorrow, and death were the result.*
“"Lord, I'm not afraid of doing Your will," she confided in her prayers, "but I am afraid of the unknown. And so much of my future husband is unknown to me."”
“C. S. Lewis defines "falling in love" as similar to the explosion that starts the engine. Must one wait for the explosion? Being-in-lovis a feeling. Real love goes far beyond feeling. The great Love Chapter in the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13, describes what God calls love. It will be seen that romantic feelings, far from being prerequisite, have nothing to do with it.”
“To commit oneself to marriage is to give oneself in trust, to put one's life at the disposal of the other. It is, in fact, actually to forfeit rights and to consign oneself to the charge of another person. One who commits his way to the Lord also does just this. No one will do that who does not trust Him. Whom do we trust? On whose integrity, veracity, justice, or even faithful friendship can we rely? Am I worthy of another's trust? Am I a person in whom confidence can be reposed? Commitment entails the acceptance of responsibility. It imposes a task and a trust. It is a promise to do something, a pledge to pursue a certain course. To love is to make a commitment.”
“Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes, and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all, utterly to Thee to be Thine forever. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Use me as Thou wilt, send me where Thou wilt, work out Thy whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever.””
“A steadfast heart is not prone to fickleness.”
“Fear is faithlessness…”
“A man who has been rejected more than once begins to feel gun-shy. He fears that he is not marriageable material. Will he be consigned to lonely bachelorhood? If he tries again, will he be dumped? He has an overwhelming desire to be loved, to share his life with someone, to serve God with someone, to be a husband and father. Why won't God let someone into his life? he asks. When will it be his turn? He is afraid that the answer is NEVER. He feels deprived.”
“God never withholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good.”
“"Shall I one precious thing withhold-
One beautiful and bright,
One pure and precious thing withhold?
My child, it cannot be."”
“God's refusals are always merciful-"severe mercies" at times, as St. Augustine recognized (Confessions XI, 25), but mercies all the same.
I understand the fear so many describe. I know it well. But a long life has proved to me that most of the things I feared never happened. While it is perfectly true that some of my worst fears did, in fact, materialize, I see them now as "an abyss and mass of mercies," appointed and assigned by a loving and merciful Father who sees the end from the begin-ning. He asks us to trust Him.”
“Trust Him! Do what He says!”
“The more we learn to fear God the less we fear anything else. The fear of the Lord is the cure for boredom. It goes with living in the presence of God. It is a lamp in a dark place; it consumes malice and burns wrong thoughts. It is, according to Proverbs, life. It is the fruit of humility, and the first step to wisdom (Prov. 19:23; 22:4; 9:10).”
“A thirty-something woman explains her willingness to endure multiple break-ups as springing from the notion of deprivation: "I have always seen myself as 'deprived, I could never be a support to anyone else, so wrapped up in my own struggle. Today I read in 1 Peter 4:10 that we should employ our special gift in helping others as a good steward of the MANIFOLD grace of God. That word manifold hit me. It told me that God's grace is seen in all the different gifts He gives each of us, and we all share one another's. That does not sound like I am at all deprived. I even saw the most recent break-up as His GIFT to me.”
“"Well, companionship and fulfillment of all my anxious needs. It won't provide that, will it? Only You can do that whether I'm married or single. Lord, help me to seek to be only what is most glorifying to You, that I may love You with the obedience of my life."”
“Since then, in about a year's span, God has really changed my heart. First, I took a missions trip. It was a lesson in submission to God's will: First, I said I would not go. Then, I’d go if the man I was interested in went. Finally, I'd go if the Lord wanted me to. It was hard to get there, but I'm glad I did. Then, when I became interested in a man, I asked God for His permission first. When I tell people this, they don't understand. So I read P & P again. I no longer thought you needed to change your mentality. I saw you as a young woman going through the same struggles I was having. My friend laughed again. I then had to come to the point where I am now—waiting before the Lord about this man. I don't call. I don't go out of my way to talk to him-amazing for me! I'm working on being a woman for the Lord.”
“"The Lord taught me that preparing for marriage is not so much a matter of finding the right person as it is becoming the right person. I began to concentrate on my relationship with Christ."”
“God surely hears that prayer when it is accompanied by obedience in the things that are perfectly clear. Both the wisdom and the strength will always be given, in perfect mea-sure, when the time comes, if we take up quietly and faithfully the duties of today. Let us not make the mistake of directing our energies toward what is not today's business.
The best preparation for the future is always the conscientious carrying out of what is given us today.”
“Maturity is the acceptance of limitations. Every choice made in life rules out a thousand other possibilities. Love, in the last analysis, is a choice. You marry her because you love her. Then, from the wedding day forward, you learn to love her because you married her. Circumstances do not change the obligation to fulfill the solemn vow.”
“A strong spiritual principle is to pray through things, think about them in the presence of God, and stick with the decision. Did God hear your prayer? Do you believe He wants you to do His will? Then "don't dig up in doubt what you planted in faith." Believing prayer must be the practice of a Christian's whole life.”
“Ifwe imagine that happiness is to be found by furious pur-suit, we will end up in a rage at the unsatisfying results. If, on the other hand, we set ourselves to pursue the wise and loving and holy will of our Heavenly Father, we will find that happiness comes—quietly, in unexpected ways, and, surprisingly often, as the by-product of sacrifice.”
“Except for those far ahead of most of us in sanctity, waiting is a form of suffering-the difficulty of self-restraint, the anguish of unfulfilled longing, the bewilderment of unanswered prayer, my flesh and my heart failing, my soul breaking. These are indeed tribulations, and tribulation is the curriculum if we are to learn patience. We want answers now, right now, but we are required at times to walk in darkness. Nevertheless, God is in the darkness.”
“We both find waiting a hard thing but we are learning that the grace of God is enough for each day and that waiting brings patience and we need patience if we are to go through marriage. We have decided that where the will of God is, that is where we also want to be. Learning to rest in His hands and receive each day with thanksgiving is the lesson for now. Psalm 31:15, 'My times are in your hands, is my comfort.”
“"I am learning some lessons in giving up my right to myself. It is helpful to know that others have been through the course and that they were made of clay as 1 am. The thought that I was bought with a price liberates me. Everything becomes simpler when the question comes to me, 'And what am I to do now? How do I react to this?' I know what I must do the principle to which I always turn is this: I was bought at a price. I do not belong to myself. I don't have to listen to my emotional cries, my offended ego. I cannot do anything to keep my ego from bleeding, but I can ignore it and follow Christ."”
“"Sit still, my daughter," said Naomi to Ruth, "until thou know how the matter will fall (Ruth 3:18 kJV).”
“What if the wicked nature, which is as a sea casting out mire and dirt, rage against thee? There is a river, a sweet, still, flowing river, the streams whereof will make glad thy heart. And learn but in quietness and stillness to retire to the Lord, and wait upon Him, in whom thou shalt feel peace and joy, in the midst of thy trouble from the cruel and vexatious spirit of this world.”
“Often a Christian man or woman falls prey to that cruel and vexatious spirit, wondering how to find marriage, who, when, where? It is on God that we should wait, as a waiter waits—not for but on the customer—alert, watchful, atten-tive, with no agenda of his own, ready to do whatever is wanted. "My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him" (Ps. 62:5 KJV). In Him alone lie our security, our confidence, our trust. A spirit of restlessness and resistance can never wait, but one who believes he is loved with an everlasting love, and knows that underneath are the everlasting arms, will find strength and peace. God is in the waiting. "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect" (Ps. 18:32).”
“Love always entails suffering. One who loves God is willing to wait.”
“I do want His way. It takes faith when doubts flood in, such as, 'Will I ever marry?' and 'I feel worthless!' God is teaching me to chew on the TRUTH of His Word and to immediately humble myself in coming before Him for protection and help. The verse He gave me today is Psalm 119:165, 'Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.'”
“It is good that we should have to submit to what we do not understand. It teaches us the laws of faith and hope.
It is good that we should have to do what we should rather not, in circumstances not of our choice.
It is good that there should be always something to prick us on, something to remind us that we are in an enemy's country, belong to a marching column.
It is good that we should meet with checks and failures in what we undertake, to keep us humble and prayerful.
All these things belong to sowing in tears.
God seems to have laid out the order of things in His Church, not for a general and brilliant triumph but for the hidden sanctification of the individual souls which compose it.”
Prayer in Faith
“Probably not, at least for most of us, because we need the lessons loneliness brings. It is good for us, for that hidden sanctification.”
“It has taken me a long time to realize that it is these very struggles that God provides. Yes, I say provides. He does not let them "just happen."”
“…she has been learning what a Christ-centered relationship really is. She feels lonely at times,
"yet I am learning to praise God. He has given me so much 'life and more abundantly! I would not trade the joy, the learning, and the experiences I have now for anything.
Knowing that I am in His will is contentment that is far beyond what 'doing my own thing' could ever bring." Because we are sinners and live in a fractured world, we must have tribulation. Jesus promised it-but (don't forget He added, "Cheer up! I have overcome the world!"”
“"It should be no surprise that He wants everything in us. We are all His doing, nothing comes into being, has breath, has anything, without HIM, so it follows that our little deaths and tremendous joys should begin and end with HIM. Thus, the origin of our daily wars. "My little wars come and go. Exceedingly anxious about my lovelife, I fight on the front lines of desire and longings...I pull myself away, with head lowered and heart aching for the power to believe—that in giving up all of these games, I will not lose a step (as HE withholds no good thing).”
“There's the testimony of one person who desperately wants marriage but even more desperately wills the will of God, whether or not that includes marriage. This is evidence of grace in that life. No one of us could manage without God's marvelous, infinite, matchless grace. It is the pouring out of the gift of Himself to the heart that wills to receive Him, the heart that is open.”
“Stand still, wait, and do the work God has given.”
“Do the next thing. Lift up your heart. Trust that God took seriously your offering and rest in the knowledge that nothing but trust is required of you at this moment.”
“Who of us does not feel our weakness, fear being overcome by temptation too strong for us? All the more reason to keep out of the way of it. Jesus told the disciples to watch and pray in order not to enter into temptation. This is what watching means. Be on the alert. Be honest about your weak-ness. Stay clear of the thing that tempts you. Flee!”
“Look only at your Lord. Sing. Read. Work.”
“The remorse is far, far deeper than the height of the excitement ever was.”
“'Let's ask the Lord to keep him just for you.'”
“"Would you be happy in any state? Would you not find reason to murmur against Me if you were married? What is happiness for you? Don't you think I am aware of your situation and concerned for you-I who gave My life blood for
you in My only begotten Son?"”
“You promised to supply all my needs. You said that they who seek the Lord will not lack anything good.”
“"In My sovereign wisdom, knowing your present measure of sanctification and the fulfilling life which I now have for you, singleness is My best and most precious gift. Do not use My promises against Me as though by loving Me you would be able to obtain your own ends.
“"I have other things for you, specially for you. She walks a different path with different problems which would only bring you much unhappiness. Do not envy, but rejoice and be glad for her."”
“You no more know that than you knew ahead of time the day of your conversion. These things are yet to be revealed and still remain in My secret will. Even marriage is not forever but only comes as My gift one day at a time.”
“"To whom does tomorrow belong?"
"To You, God, I have given my life, plans, hopes, needs, my all. Therefore it is no longer mine to demand what I will. I do not even know whether You will deem it best that I have life tomorrow."”
“"Lord, Your grace all sufficient has been with me through some rough days, and if I can face tomorrow with Your grace as a single person then yes, also the tomorrow forty years from now."”
“If you are single today, the portion assigned to you for today is singleness. It is God's gift. Singleness ought not to be viewed as a problem, nor marriage as a right. God in His wisdom and love grants either as a gift. An unmarried person has the gift of singleness, not to be confused with the gift of celibacy. When we speak of the "gift of celibacy," we usually refer to one who is bound by vows not to marry. If you are not so bound, what may be your portion tomorrow is not your business today. Today's business is trust in the living God who precisely measures out, day by day, each one's portion.”
1. Surrender to the will of God.
2. Be faithful in performance of duties.
3. Expect God to guide.
4. Be watchful as to that guidance.
5. Set character as the priority.
6. Commit natural feelings to God.
7. Don't "date" but give a frank confession of love (this is the man's initiative).
8. Recognize God's gift.
“He then asked God to let the one he chose be the one God had chosen!”
“But I still kept believing and praying in patience.”
“He can search my girl among the nations, among billions of girls and He knows which one is best for me.”
“"As I sat praying, reading God's Word, and making a list of pro's and con's, I felt God saying, 'Why not? Haven't you prayed for marriage, and isn't this the kind of man you've prayed for?'”
“David tells me he knew in the first five minutes that I was the girl he'd waited his whole life to meet.”
“Intimacy clouding perspective.”
“…the marriage was arranged long ago in heaven, it was merely celebrated by us mortals down below.”
“Aim, above all else, at loving God.
Make a wholehearted surrender of your life to God.
Believe that He takes you at your word.
Do not be surprised at the opposition of the adversary.
Pray, making your requests known to God.
Watch.
Expect Him to give you what He knows is best for you.
Receive His answer for today.
Trust His timing.
Obey God in the least thing shown.
Commit your uncertainties and tears to Him.
Act on principle, not on impulse; will, not emotion.
Accept the demands of your masculinity or femininity.
Remember that to take up the cross means suffering.
Do not walk into temptation. Flee.
Make a commitment to be not merely careful but chaste.
Keep your hands off and your clothes on.
Confide in and seek help from an older Christian.
Be grateful for your assigned portion (Ps. 16:5).
Praise and sing to the Lord. Thank Him for everything.
Keep a quiet heart.
Do the next thing.”
May 14, 2010
Quest for Love really shows how suddenly and personally God directs us to a spouse. The main theme is to be patient and wait for God’s good guidance and provision, because our Lord is the only one who knows the most compatible future spouse for us. Some of the stories can appear to be completely foreign concepts to us like arranged marriage and marriage without dating. However, you can clearly see God’s hands working in all of the relationships. Ultimately when our hearts are seeking God’s will, we can be more at peace knowing that God will bring a spouse to us in his perfect timing. This book will help you see how it’s more important to work on your character and relationship with God so you would become a good helper, instead of being anxious about finding the perfect spouse. It is a bit more gear toward female readers, but I recommend it to any men and women who want to see how God works in real love stories to bring Christians together. My favorite stories are The Fear of Deprivation, The Discipline of Waiting, and Just Friends?
Favorite Quote: "Does the question 'Will this work?' continue to trouble you, as though it were a mechanical contrivance that might malfunction? It is God we are dealing with, a just and merciful Father who is far more interested in our welfare than we are." (Page 270)
Favorite Quote: "Does the question 'Will this work?' continue to trouble you, as though it were a mechanical contrivance that might malfunction? It is God we are dealing with, a just and merciful Father who is far more interested in our welfare than we are." (Page 270)
September 14, 2009
I didn't like this book very much. I think maybe it's just because it might be to old for me. I didn't like one particular story though. When it talked about 'Only with total dependence on God, will you ever be happy'. I dont like that. So it's saying, people who dont believe in God, or aren't really religious and like, rely on him..they are saying those people will never be happy? Like, I read that story to my sister (she's two years older then me) she understood it. She tried to explain it to me, but I dont think I did understand it..I dont know. Like I said before, maybe Im just to young to understand/appreciate it.
March 3, 2012
The stories found here are all amazing. They are testimonies that love can be found even if you don't date, if you put your trust and confidence to God, and prayers. It may sound weird fro christians but I hope they'd get at least the idea that they won't have to rush and that women doesn't have to run after men because if he fears the Lord and he truly loves you, he will wait. That's a proof he respects you. For the men, I hope they'll realize they'd have to do the initiation and not the other way around. Each one should set high standards in search of a partner.
January 23, 2016
This book definitely gave me a lot of wisdom and hope concerning a godly, Christ centered relationship. I was encouraged by so many of the beautiful love stories of men and women who waited on Gods timing and didn't do anything out of their own strength. It inspired me to keep waiting on the Lord and continue seeking Him and He will provide everything at the perfect timing! Beautiful encouraging book! Recommend it to anyone who needs encouragement waiting on the Lord for their happily ever after!
June 26, 2011
Not quite as riveting and life-changing as the original Passion and Purity, but this still stands as a book I would recommend to someone who is wanting to bring their love life under God's control. This is also more of a sober read, because she addresses letters from individuals who have been burned in society's way of approaching love and are tentatively looking for other answers.
Make sure you read the other Passion and Purity before approaching this one.
Make sure you read the other Passion and Purity before approaching this one.
July 26, 2021
Elisabeth Elliot is becoming one of my favorite authors, and she was such a wise and faithful woman of God. I think there’s a lot of wisdom to be taken from this book about biblical principles in preparing for marriage, but due to the era it was written in, not all of the advice she gives is relevant to our generation. I appreciated the stories she shared and questions that she asked at the end of each chapter. Even though I didn’t agree with all of her points (due to how times have changed since she wrote the book), I appreciate being challenged to think about dating in a way that challenges the status quo of popular culture today. As a missionary, I also appreciated the stories she included of missionaries who wrestled with a lot of the same questions that I have wrestled with as a single missionary considering marriage.
October 3, 2025
We had a good laugh at a few of the chapters I read aloud with some missionaries, but as a whole, I think this book gives some good advice and tidbits from Elizabeth Elliot’s other work, Passion and Purity. The difference here is that she blends this advice into real-life stories of Christian men and women. I would definitely recommend it to young Christians in particular looking for wise advice (and a few laughs) on the subject of trusting God in singleness and marriage.
September 28, 2023
Loved this book. Fresh, encouraging, grounded and inspiring. Elisabeth Elliot is a favorite.
April 19, 2016
If there's one thing Elisabeth Elliot doesn't do, it's pull any punches. She's quite clear about her opinions on dating, physical intimacy in romantic relationships, and the like and most of it is in complete opposition to the modern perspective on all of the above.
Effectively, this is a companion book to Passion and Purity where Elisabeth uses the story of her courtship with Jim Elliot to talk about romantic relationships. In this book, she shares some more general thoughts, but it's mostly a collection of stories about people she knew, people she's read about, or people who've written letters to her over the years and how those people got together with their spouse or didn't ultimately end up with someone they were dating because of x, y, or z reasons.
I love elements of this book for the same reason I love Passion & Purity, but so many of the stories feel much more like the exception rather than the rule. She shares a lot of stories about missionaries who had one or two interactions with a woman, proposed to her by letter, and they then got married. Now, I know the Lord works in all sorts of ways and brings people together in sometimes normal and sometimes not so normal ways, but the way she praised these kinds of anomaly type stories and almost degraded stories that are probably more normal for most of us was a bit off putting.
There are some solid nuggets of truth in there, as with everything Elisabeth Elliot writes, but on the whole this was a pretty 'meh' book for me.
Effectively, this is a companion book to Passion and Purity where Elisabeth uses the story of her courtship with Jim Elliot to talk about romantic relationships. In this book, she shares some more general thoughts, but it's mostly a collection of stories about people she knew, people she's read about, or people who've written letters to her over the years and how those people got together with their spouse or didn't ultimately end up with someone they were dating because of x, y, or z reasons.
I love elements of this book for the same reason I love Passion & Purity, but so many of the stories feel much more like the exception rather than the rule. She shares a lot of stories about missionaries who had one or two interactions with a woman, proposed to her by letter, and they then got married. Now, I know the Lord works in all sorts of ways and brings people together in sometimes normal and sometimes not so normal ways, but the way she praised these kinds of anomaly type stories and almost degraded stories that are probably more normal for most of us was a bit off putting.
There are some solid nuggets of truth in there, as with everything Elisabeth Elliot writes, but on the whole this was a pretty 'meh' book for me.
October 22, 2015
Another thought-provoking, great book by Elisabeth Elliot. Quest for Love: True stories of Passion and Purity, kind of goes with her other book, Passion and Purity. I’ve read both and thought both were very good.
Quest for Love is more stories though (as you would note in the title). –Stories of cheap romances; and stories of God-written romances. Stories of people who tossed God’s rules and warnings into the wind and did things their own way; and stories of people who carefully and committedly followed God’s leadings. Which one do you think ended up the best? Quest for Love explores this. Woeful and joyful letters written to Elisabeth Elliot, and stories of people from the past and such make up this book.
It was very interesting and so truthful. I encourage anyone who is wondering about singleness and qualities that should be in a spouse; and anyone who is finding careless dating a problem, to read this book.
Quest for Love is more stories though (as you would note in the title). –Stories of cheap romances; and stories of God-written romances. Stories of people who tossed God’s rules and warnings into the wind and did things their own way; and stories of people who carefully and committedly followed God’s leadings. Which one do you think ended up the best? Quest for Love explores this. Woeful and joyful letters written to Elisabeth Elliot, and stories of people from the past and such make up this book.
It was very interesting and so truthful. I encourage anyone who is wondering about singleness and qualities that should be in a spouse; and anyone who is finding careless dating a problem, to read this book.
December 5, 2008
This book was refreshing to read - a sharp contrast to the cheapened form of love prevalent in our society that isn't really love at all. True love involves having fun and pleasure and passion to be sure, but it's also about purity, sacrifice, hard-work, patience, respect, and the rest of the qualities mentioned in 1 Corinthians 13. That kind of love is so much more precious and persevering. God's plan for each of us, whether that means the gift of singleness or the gift of marriage, is best. If we are meant to be married, God will guide us to the right person at the right time. If not, than our singleness is a gift for a greater purpose than marriage could have been.
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December 2, 2014Some of the thoughts were very traditional and pretty hard to relate to after being immersed in the present culture, but I admire Elizabeth for her staunch adherence to beliefs that others might consider outdated. So, while some of the teachings seem a little too conservative for me, overall the Biblical truths that they are founded on are solid and I like the numerous Scripture references that she includes. The best part for me, though, was reading the letters from people/hearing their stories, b/c they are so honest and real (frankly some of them are funny in how serendipitous life can be.)
January 9, 2012
This is an absolute MUST for every unmarried young man or woman seeking love! ;-)
When I was 14, I was feeling "worried sick" about who my mate should be so I picked up this book for encouragement. Encourage me it certainly did. I came away feeling free from worry, just like that. And all because I decided to surrender my "love life" to the LORD alone to orchestrate and surprise me with.
Still a lady in waiting, and content. :-D
When I was 14, I was feeling "worried sick" about who my mate should be so I picked up this book for encouragement. Encourage me it certainly did. I came away feeling free from worry, just like that. And all because I decided to surrender my "love life" to the LORD alone to orchestrate and surprise me with.
Still a lady in waiting, and content. :-D
November 18, 2012
Read this book about 10 years ago. Never heard of it, but my fiancé handed it to me, and said, "Read this." It revolutionized my understanding of relationships. For the first time, I clearly understood my role as a man and a husband-to-be according to God's terms (according to the principles set forth in the Bible). I LOVE this book!!!! I would recommend it to any man wanting to help their relationship with their woman. AWESOME!!!!!!
August 28, 2012
I liked this a lot. I don't think there were any ideas that I hadn't heard before but it's always helpful to hear something phrased a different way. My favorite part was reading the letters that she had received in the mail. Elliot did a nice job of teaching through the letters without hardly saying anything.
June 4, 2012
This book records stories that listerners to Elisabeth Elliot's radio show wrote to her. Elliot attempts to show one how to live the godly life. The godly life extends to romantic love. She says " in every generation there are those who not only hunger for the truth, but also search desparately for a high, even an 'impossibly' high standard."
February 26, 2013
Just like her first book, "Passion and Purity" Elliot reminds us of timely words of wisdom when it comes to this area of life. I liked how this book presented various stories of how God worked to intersect people's lives together... and yet, there were recurring themes (such as trusting in God and not on your own judgement) which permeated the book. It was an encouraging read :)
August 3, 2015
Based on my perspective, this book tells about how to be woman with God's love.
The author wrote her experiences since she was in school, ministry and her marriage.
She put a lot of Bible's words on her book as demonstrated her faith in God.
I recommend to every christian woman for reading this book.
This is a good book and may lead you to be the good christian woman.
The author wrote her experiences since she was in school, ministry and her marriage.
She put a lot of Bible's words on her book as demonstrated her faith in God.
I recommend to every christian woman for reading this book.
This is a good book and may lead you to be the good christian woman.
April 11, 2016
This book is amazing! I love the different stories of how God put two people together for His will. It's not just about "love stories", but the Greatest Love story ever told- God's love for all of us. It's hidden in each and every one of us, waiting to be found by us. Such as an encouraging book- to remain faithful and steadfast to the One who holds it all. :D
October 23, 2007
This is a neat book with all kinds of stories of those who have taken the wrong road in the "dating culture" and have gotten hurt and the stories of those who have done it the "right" way and have been blessed! It is very encouraging and inspiring!
January 22, 2008
One of the best books I’ve ever read on the subject of love between a man and a woman and how to let God be in control of our “love life”. It doesn’t offer pat solutions but causes one to really think and approach relationships God’s way. Another excellent book from Elisabeth Elliot.
March 17, 2008
Elisabeth offers empathetic wisdom throughout. Bring your "love life" under the authority of Jesus Christ. Full of true life stories of Passion and Purity. I highly recommend this Biblically based book to anyone over the age of 15.
March 30, 2008
This book was a breath of fresh air to the Passion & Purity ideas after the sterility of the original book. While Elliot's story seemed very rigid, these stories were more vibrant, real, relatable. I would recommend this book over the original.
July 10, 2008
I love Elisabeth Eliot, but this book goes a little too much into her specific "rules" for relationships, which I don't always agree with. The points she makes are excellent, it just borders a little on legalism at places.
July 15, 2008
This is better than its companion book, "Passion and Purity" because it gives a variety of stories that support chastity before marriage, and a Christ-centered life. Great reflection questions at the end of each chapter. Better if all the chapters included at least one story.
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