Situation Normal: All Fucked Up

Ready, Fire, Aim 'Verse #2

by gyzym

Fandom: The Avengers
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Pepper Potts/Natasha Romanov
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As it turns out, fighting crime is the easy part.

Genres: Fan Fiction, Fantasy, M M Romance, Romance

106 pages, ebook

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[Irina Elena · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story had me literally in stitches. I laughed so hard it hurt. And that doesn't happen often and last happened months ago, so I would call this successful even if its only merit were its funniness.

But there's also the way Steve and Tony's relationship seems, despite the minor angsty feels, to be so perfectly matched and tender and passionate that it's completely believable even though it's a bit hard to fit into the movie. It's a couple that works like few others. I love how when they're together Tony lets his mushy side come to the surface, and the way Steve lets his growly aggressive side loose in bed. Yes, Tony is still kinda Stilesy and very chatty - sometimes even too rambly, but the story is just too good to let a minor niggle such as that affect me.

Then there are all the side characters - who are more like MCs right along with Steve and Tony, because they're pretty much omnipresent and I loved that. I just love those freaks - I love them all. Love love love. Particularly Bruce/Hulk (I wanna cuddle him!) and Thor, who's batshit crazy in a totally badass way.

And there are also many happy returns - okay, two, technically - because more characters equals more fun. Rhodey and Bucky are new to me but they are the MCs' best friends and their stories, as if fun personalities weren't enough, are great.

It left me feeling so good. Happy. *g*

[S · Rating 4 out of 5]

I get that I'm being fairly ridiculous with this quote-thing down there, but gosh, this is brilliance people.
I'm just really, really liking gyzym.

Favourite quotes:

“Right,” he says, shaking his head, “everybody out, this room has been re-purposed, you’re all done for the night.”
“Says who?” Clint says. He glares at Tony without all that much malice behind it. “We live here too! We have--”
“If you say the words squatter’s rights,” Tony says, raising an eyebrow, “I will make you actually go out and squat somewhere. You do know that this is technically my house, right? That I let you live here out of the kindness of my heart?”
“The kindness of your dick, maybe,” Clint mutters, and Tony grins at him.
“Nah,” he says, “that’s just Steve. And really it’s not my heart for you, either. Only Thor gets my heart--you’re only here because if you weren’t, Fury would never quit calling me.”
“Thank you, my friend,” Thor says, while Clint, mildly drunk and not hiding it well, visibly grapples for a comeback. “Your esteem warms me in the cockles of my soul.”
“Your soul doesn’t have cockles--and, actually, you know what, just scrap that word from your dictionary, it’s really not something you should ever say again,” Tony says, “but hey, if you’re really warmed, you could clear out. Not that this hasn’t been really heartfelt and everything, but this is my living room and I want it back.”

Jarvis, because he is programmed to understand Tony’s truest and most important needs, has put on Godfather II. Tony may or may not let out a sigh of deep satisfaction; he reaches out with the arm that Steve isn’t pressed up against, pulls up a few schematics on the surface of the side table. For a minute, all is right with the world.
Then Steve says, “Wait, didn’t I see this already?” which, actually, is kind of a problem.
“Right,” Tony says, “okay, so here’s how this is going to work--because I am a good person, and this is for the sake of the team and our, uh--you know what? I’m just going to forget you said that, out of the kindness of my heart, because no, you have not seen this already, you saw the first one, this is the second one, there’s also a third one, they are very different films.”
“Okay,” Steve says, shrugging a shoulder, and Tony sighs.
“Okay,” he says, and his hand is in Steve’s hair now, tugging a little to emphasize his points, “okay, he says, do you want me to--no, you said you had a headache, I will spare you for today, but tomorrow--and this is non-negotiable, I want you to understand that--tomorrow I am explaining the Corleones to you. There will be a test.”

A week ago, Tony fell asleep in Steve’s bed alone, waiting for him to wrap up in the gym; when he woke up, sleep-heavy at four a.m., he found Steve in his room, sprawled across the sheets.

“Ugh, Tony,” Steve says, a tired groan into the pillow, jerking Tony out of his train of thought, “go back to sleep or stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“Just,” Steve says, and sighs without opening his eyes. “When you wake up you move, and you make sounds, you get all twitchy. I can hear you thinking, and if you’re going to draw on the sheets again, you can go do it on your own sheets, okay?”
“I only did that once,” Tony says, “and anyway, my sheets are sub-par, they do not come with gift-wrapped superheros, it’s a design flaw.”
“Jesus,” Steve groans, “what time is it, how can you want to--do that this early, it’s, what, six a.m.--”
“Nine, actually,” Tony says, gleeful. “You overslept. You, Captain America, God of All--well, okay, not of Thor, Thor is definitely the god of you, we’ll go with god-of-all-except-Thor, you should work on that title--anyway, you overslept. And hey, no, I wasn’t thinking, this is a no-think zone, I was just sitting here, gloating to myself, remembering all the times you’d given me shit about morning jogs because, hi, hello, it’s 9 AM, these are normal people hours here, Cap, and now you’re awake so I can gloat at you--”

“Did you already have coffee? You’re really awake.”
“No coffee,” Tony says. “This is why I don’t sleep most of the time. It’s gross to be this cheerful in the morning, I refuse to be a morning person--’s wrong, it’s evil, it goes against everything I stand for, and also--”

Steve’s looking at Tony with his brow furrowed, the way he does when he’s worried, or confused, or...actually about half the time, really, but Tony usually knows what he means. He glances down to confirm he’s not naked--Steve’s a little weird about nakedness sometimes, mutters things about “decency” and “inappropriate” and “not in the kitchen, Tony, people eat here,”--but no, he’s fully clothed, he’s good

Steve’s standing over a bed, head bowed; below him, a dark-haired man that Tony recognizes from an old, old photograph stirs under the blanket. He opens his eyes and Steve’s body tenses up and Tony’s got his phone out, has hacked into the system and killed the feed before anyone can see anything else.
“Stark!” one of the guards snaps, “What the hell did you just--”
“That’s not for you,” Tony says. “Sorry, but them’s the breaks, and you’re not going to get it back up again, so don’t bother trying. It’s really, seriously, entirely not your business, and if you’ve got a problem with that, you can feel free to send Director Fury after me, I’m sure he’d like the excuse. Bye bye now.”

“‘lo?” Tony slurs, not quite awake yet, and then snaps into action when he realizes it’s not Steve this time, alerted by the sound of intense, scary breathing. Fury even breathes scary; Tony wants to learn to do that before he dies. “I mean, uh, Director--”

“And I wouldn’t care, because you’d be...” Oh. Tony can’t actually say the word ‘dead’ in the context of Steve; that’s interesting. Unexpected. He’ll come back to it later.

“If I hunt down the people who made this movie and kill them,” Natasha says, “it’s justifiable homicide, right?”
“No court would convict you,” Clint says. “That’s a mercy killing if ever there--oh my fucking god, if you’re going to beat someone in the face with flowers the least you could do is get your form right--”

“I’m not going to hurt myself,” Tony says, “apologizing only eats away at my soul a little bit, no big deal, look, maybe I can even do it again. I’m...I’m...nope, shit, fresh out.”

“Seriously, buddy,” Tony says, “that thing is foe, not friend, you want a pet, I can build you a pet--”
“Yeah, he’s good at that,” says Clint, and Tony has just enough time to wince before Jarvis, who is a computer and should know better, takes over the comms and says, “If you refer to me in that manner again, Mr. Barton, I will personally see to it that your credit score does not survive the day.”

Bucky, who’d been occupied with staring at Tony like he was a crazy person, turns. Then he makes the shell-shocked, good god you’re hot face most people make upon meeting Natasha, which, hey, Tony has totally been to that movie, can’t really blame him at all.

[Indah Threez Lestari · Rating 3 out of 5]

148 - 2018

[Julesmarie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sweet and fun and silly and adorable. I love that we still get to see the whole team; they're spectacular together both in action and at home.

Some Favorite Quotes:
I always forget I end up in bang mode when I'm not paying attention.

"and anyway, my sheets are subpar, they do not come with gift-wrapped superheroes, it's a design flaw."

"I'm fine--no, really, I actually mean that, stop it."
"Okay," Steve says, but he still looks doubtful. "You'd tell me, right?"
"Uh," says Tony, "yeah?" and then he has to grab a towel and flee the room, because wow, he actually wood, he didn't really see that one coming.

Sometimes--not so often anymore, because he's gotten used to it, but sometimes--Steve is such a good person that Tony kind of wants to poke him and make sure he's real.

"Hulk, don't form emotional attachments to the enemy."

[LenaLena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emo-Angsty-Funny Stony fanfic. It doesn't get much better than this, unless it involves roombas. And I have a sneaking suspicion that the roombas are based on this 'verse.