Replacement Child

by Judy L. Mandel

Judy Mandel is the replacement child for her sister who was killed in a tragic accident. It would be years before she would understand how the event, that happened before she was born, shaped her life.

A plane crashes into a family’s home. A two-year-old girl is critically burned and a mother is forced to make an impossible choice. The death of a child leaves a hole in the family that threatens to tear it apart.

In a great act of hope, the parents give birth to a "replacement child," born to heal wounds and provide a "salve for the burns." The child unwittingly plays her role throughout childhood, riding the deep and hidden currents of the family tragedy.

In this powerful story of love and lies, hope and forgiveness, Judy Mandel discovers the truth that changes her life forever and forces her to confront the complex layers of her relationships with her father, mother, and sister. When she has her own child, her epiphany comes full circle.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Death, Family, Biography Memoir, Autobiography

320 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 2009

About the author

Judy L. Mandel is a New York Times Bestselling author, former reporter and marketing executive. She holds an MFA from Stony Brook University. She is co-founder and Managing Editor of Replacement Child Forum. A portion of the proceeds from White Flag will be donated to Magnolia New Beginnings, Inc., an organization that advocates for those living with substance use disorder, their families and loved ones.

Reviews

[Marianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished reading this book and I must say I am blown away towards the end of the story. You see, I have never considered myself a replacement child, until reading this story. I was adopted after my mother gave birth to two kids and had about a dozen miscarriages. Unfortunately, my story did not have a happy ending. She had mental issues, combined with all the miscarriages and instead of loving me, she abused me until I ran away at 15. Believe it or not, I saw myself on these pages, when the author wrote about her father and her failed relationships. I even bookmarked a few spots where I felt the author was describing my current relationship. Needless to say, i found something unexpected on these pages, and I thank the author for bringing me to that place.

As for the book itself, I have to say that I felt a great love in the author; having walked a similar path even in childhood (feelings were similar while situations were different), it was nice to find that connection with the author. I am thankful for her courage in sharing her story, it is a story that many can relate to

Marianne Curtis
Author
Finding Gloria
Finding Gloria ~ Special Edition

[Cookie M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the second book I have read about the series of three fatal plane crashes over suburban New Jersey in early winter 1952.
"Replacement Child," by Judy Mandela is the true story of what happened to her family, how one of her sisters died and her mother and other sister were badly burned, and how her parents' decision to have a third child (her) after this tragedy was impacted by all that had gone before.

My father was a replacement child for a brother who was stuck by a car in traffic and killed at the age of 2. I noticed signs throughout my life that his parents were more distant with him than with his two older surviving brothers. Pa never seemed to invest as much time with him and Nana didn't display the affection with us that the other grandchildren got. I came to realize they were afraid to love him so much, afraid to lose him.
I said that to him once when we were talking, and his eyes got a bit leaky. He said, "I think you're right. I know they wanted to love me. That was good enough."

[Ephemera Pie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Replacement Child by Judy L. Mandel
This is a memoir about what happened after American Airlines Flight 6780, a Convair 240, crashed into a house on January 22, 1952 at Elizabeth, New Jersey. The story retells the events of the accident. Seven-year-old Donna Mandel was killed. Two-year-old sister Linda Mandel was severely burned-80% of her body was engulfed in the flames. Her injuries and surgeries echoed into the lives of her surviving family members. Judy Mandel was born as a replacement child for Donna, to mend the broken family.
Her family was not the “normal” nuclear family. She reconstructs the events that occurred before she was born. According to the book, she has her parents’ accounts of the day of the accident. From there, she has her own account of how life was in her family. How she viewed her sister Linda, who had to wear her scars, her mother, who doted relentlessly on Linda, her emotionally detached father, and Judy’s own failed marriages.
I do not understand why this book is getting so many low reviews on Goodreads. I thoroughly enjoyed it. The way that the chapters jump back and forth through time is not jarring to me. If you read literary fiction, it is a device often used to great effect. Not arranging the tale in chronological order made it more literary fiction than a simple retelling. In my opinion, memoirs should not read like a Wikipedia article. To me, this is one of the more interesting memoirs that I have read in my life.
Unless authors are making huge mistakes like using the wrong “their” and “there” or “you’re” and “your” or using big words when they obviously do not know their meanings, I don’t complain. Mandel has written a book that makes sense from beginning to end. I don’t nit-pick grammar if I can still understand what is going on. Not once did I stop and say, “I have no idea what that sentence is about.” I never had to groan and stop reading because it was boring.
Maybe it’s because I can sympathize with her family. I don’t know.
As far as a reading experience, I was enthralled. Their plights hit hard to my heart, and I was rooting for them to overcome their obstacles. Yet there are some things that cannot be simply overcome-such as the loss of a child, or the scars on Linda’s face. Or the fact that you were born to fill a gap left by someone else, when you are unlike that person. I could go on and on about this book and how it makes me reflect on life, accidents, and religion. So I’ll end here and recommend this book, as it is well worth the read.

[Alexis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow - what a poignant story. I'm obsessed with air crashes and saw this book mentioned when reading about a plane crash that occurred in NJ in 1952, where some people on the ground going about their daily lives were killed. Including a 7-year-old girl. This story goes through how that tragedy shaped the rest of the family's lives, including planning the author's birth to fill the gap in their lives.

While I thought there were some strange inconsistencies (i.e. Donna keeps being referred to as a 7-year-old in the 2nd grade, but her memorial lists her as being 6 1/2), I thought the story was told beautifully. I think the non-linear chronology was the best way to tell this story and the build-up to the crash was tense. I went through this book in just a few days; I couldn't put it down.

I do, however, feel that the author was a little too hard on her family. I don't know - I just didn't relate to her and found her a little selfish. She seems to have come to some "shocking" revelation that she was a replacement child when it was never a real secret. I guess her internal revelation is that she realized how it had shaped her life, and that I can understand. I just think she was a little unforgiving of her parents until it was too late; the stories she told of growing up sound like every other person I know and she was obviously loved. Of course her parents would always be sad, but it was apparent they did the best they could in the wake of a real tragedy. I also think she put a lot of blame on her father for her failed marriages. However, she did always seem to have Linda's back, the sister that survived the crash only to be permanently scarred and disfigured.

You always read about crashes and the "survivors" but what does surviving really mean? It cannot be an easy life to go back from that. I found myself crying throughout the book, and the ending made me cry all the harder.

[Lynne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would recommend this book even if one of my dearest friends wasn't the author. It is the true story of a unique family drama which unfolded after a plane crashed on their home, killing one sister and burning another tragically. Judy is a wonderful writer and brings her family's story to life. It is a touching story and brings to light new thoughts and ideas about family emotions and the birth of another child after losing a child. Enlarging a family should not be considered replacing a child; it brings new love and joy to a family. If the child was of a different sex from the deceased child, I think this concept would never raise its head.

[Grace Peterson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book illustrates the devastating effects of a mother and a father who unwittingly misplace their grief over a lost child. Understandable since it was many years ago, before we understood the grief process and mental health the way we do today.

Rather than go through the proper grieving process for their deceased child, the author's parents decide to have another baby, hoping that it will fill their ache. The author is that baby. She grows up with parents who are too wounded to give her the emotional stability she needs.

This is a fascinating, tragic story. If you're like me and enjoy a true story with insights into the way humans interact and deal with hurts, this book is well worth the read.

[Lori L (She Treads Softly) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Replacement Child: A Memoir by Judy L. Mandel opens with a newspaper story:
"ELIZABETH, N.J. —Elizabeth’s second aviation holocaust in thirty-seven days today had claimed at least twenty-eight lives . . . The ship plunged into the two houses near the southeast corner of South and Williamson streets at approximately 3:45 pm. Before firemen could subdue the roaring, orange flames that leaped nearly 100 feet into the rainy sky, three dwellings and a garage had been destroyed and a fourth house was damaged severely. Nearly a score of persons were homeless. Killed on the plane were Captain (Thomas J.) Reid and all twenty-two others aboard. Police . . . announced the following list of Elizabeth persons missing and feared dead: DONNA MANDEL, 7 years old, 310 Williamson Street . . . "

Judy was a replacement child, a child who is conceived to replace a deceased child. In her family's case, Donna, her deceased older sister, died in a horrific accident. A plane crashed into her family's apartment building. The building caught fire and her mother was able to save one of her daughters, 2 year old Linda, but had to leave the oldest daughter, 7 year old Donna, to die in the fire. Linda, the daughter who was saved from the fire, was seriously injured from major burns over her whole body. She was so scarred and disfigured from the fire that she had to suffer though many reconstructive surgeries throughout her life.

Judy was born into this family that was very much focused on Linda's care and ongoing surgeries while the memory of Donna, the deceased daughter, perpetually hangs over the whole family. Judy longed to be loved and accepted, but both of her parents seemed to keep her at a distance, especially her father, as if loving her or displaying any affection would tarnish the memory of her sister or take care away from Linda. This occurred even to the point that her parents stop introducing her or referring to her as their "beautiful daughter, Judy," something any proud parent might say, because they thought it might be insulting to Linda.

As an adult, Judy decided to research the accident, the plane crash that no one in her family ever discussed openly and honestly with her, to try to understand the dysfunctional dynamics in her family. It always seemed to her that there were untold secrets, parts of the story that no one told her. Judy writes:

"I tell her I want to go back and see the scene of the crime—the crash site.
'Why would you want to do that?' she is incredulous.
I try to explain that since our parents died I’ve had a nagging feeling that there is something left undone in my own life. It may have something to do with the accident, I say, and going there in the flesh feels suddenly important to me. There have always been missing pieces, for me, in the story. Up until now, I’ve dismissed the gaps as irrelevant to my life—but now I suspect it is those missing pieces that may hold the seeds of my own truth about my ambivalence toward my father, my troubles with men, and my schizophrenic attitude toward risk and safety. I’m hoping the trip back will help me understand more about their lives, and my own. (pg.15)."

Judy tells her story in chapters that follow several timelines, her childhood, her family before she was born leading up to the accident, and her current life. In this way she composes complete pictures of her family and how they were dealing with their lives and the aftermath of the tragic accident. Although Judy didn't learn the term "replacement child" until later in her life, it seems she always understood that she was there to replace Donna and yet she could never live up to the memory of her deceased sister.

Her parents inability to openly show Judy love and affection clearly resulted in damage to her self esteem and made her become a risk taker. She says, "By the time I was an adolescent, I saw it as my sacred duty to prove the world was a safer place than my parents believed, that I could take risks and survive." But her parents solicitous manner toward Linda and her health also changed Linda. Judy writes: "My sister Linda couldn’t break away from thinking of my father as her knight, the one who made her feel like she could do anything she set her mind to. I had experienced a different side of my father growing up. His code with me was that I was the daughter who was blessed, who didn’t need his praise."

This is a re-written re-release of this memoir that was apparently first published in 2009. It is a powerful story about how unspoken family dynamics and secrets can influence people their whole lives. Certainly there are still examples of people losing a child and having a replacement child, whether they admit to that concept or not. It would be extremely hard for any child to be born into a family under that moniker and then not receive the love, acceptance and affection any child needs. Judy's struggles with relationships as an adult prove this.
Highly Recommended

Disclosure: My Kindle edition was courtesy of Netgalley for review purposes.
http://shetreadssoftly.blogspot.com/

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Judy Mandel is a replacement child: a child born to take both the emotional and physical place of her sister Donna, who was killed in a freak plane accident when she was just seven years old. Judy's older sister Linda was also seriously injured in the accident and spends her life bouncing from one reconstructive surgery to the next. Although Judy longs to be loved and accepted by her parents, it seems as though she lives as a shadow beside the memory of Donna and the perpetual care that is the hallmark of Linda's life. Though the plane accident that robbed the family of so much is broadly hinted at, it is not until Judy begins to research her own memoir that she discovers the horrible secrets about the day that changed her family's lives. As Judy tells the story of her life, she intersperses chapters from the past and chapters that relate the minute by minute countdown to the moment when the fateful accident occurred. Judy paints individual portraits of each of her family, from her stern and distant father to her overwhelmed mother and brave sister; each member touched differently by their torturous trial. Her journey centers around trying to understand her role and place among those marked by tragedy and trying to find her own small voice above the din. Both disturbing and sensitive, Replacement Child exists as part tell all family chronicle, part examination of the the attempts to reconstruct a family out of the ashes.

I was really moved by this story and thought that it was written very respectfully and with great conscience. It was not until the later sections of the book that Judy discovers that the term for people like her is "replacement child" but it was easy to see that once she found the definition, her story seemed to fit perfectly within the boundaries of the definition. It wasn't that her parents were cold or calculating people who disrespected Judy's individuality or singularity; instead it seemed that they were just unconsciously trying to fill a hole that existed within their family.

I found it very sad that Judy's father decided to never call attention to his daughter's beauty because it might diminish something in his other surviving child who had been so disfigured by the accident, or that he never really showed any outward affection toward her either. I also found it very sad that the family never seemed to notice Judy or the trials that she experienced in her life, instead focusing so much energy on Linda and the memory of Donna.

For the most part, I would have to say that Judy was extremely well-adjusted and, remarkably, not bitter about the experiences of her life. Instead of becoming isolated and angry, she seemed to realize what her role in the family was and responded by becoming more loving to her sister and more understanding to her parents. I can imagine that it probably hurt her very deeply to be thought of as second best, a replacement or substitution for the sister that she never knew. In reading the book, it seems clear that her situation mostly manifested itself in some very severe self-image and self-esteem problems, problems that her parents never addressed or spoke to her about.

I also got a very clear picture of what a family living through constant grief must go through in their day to day life. It seemed as though the girls' parents spent a lot of time rehashing the accident while still trying to keep the actual facts of that dreadful day under wraps. As Judy examines the family both through the past and the present, she comes to some startling realizations about her family's financial situation, her parent's marriage and the realities of Linda's future that shape the way that she deals with them and reinforces some of the ideas that she has held for years.

There were bits in this story that were humorous and comic, but overall the book cast a somber and reflective tone throughout Judy's analysis of her family's particular dysfunction. The book also examines the many unsuccessful relationships that Judy found herself in after moving from her parents' home. As she explains her reasoning behind her choices in mates, it was vary easy for me to see the influences in her past that had led her to make the types of decisions that she did, and I was genuinely happy for her when she broke out of the pattern of choosing distant and emotionally cold men.

I thought this was a very powerful memoir and very different from any that I have read before. The book was very balanced and didn't attempt to portray either camp in a damaging or negative light; instead the author chose to spotlight the situation and respondents in a clear and unambiguous way that gave me a great deal of respect for her. If you are a reader of memoirs, I would definitely recommend picking this one up. It is the unusual story of a life of compromise, told with affection, grace, and respect. A very moving and incredibly solid read.

[Katrina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Judy Mandel's memoir takes us into the life of her suburban family and all of the emotions that go along with being a replacement for the beloved daughter her parents tragically lost. It is only natural for Judy to have some difficulties trying to measure up. I found her Jewish roots to be a nice change of pace for me, I love learning about other cultures and religions. Although Judy was bared her soul for us to see, unfortunately I did not enjoy her style of writing.

I appreciate her story and the strength that it took to write it. For me, I think it was the time placement (or displacement) that made things a bit difficult for me. Each chapter is written in a different time period, one chapter will be about 1950's when the accident happen, then the next chapter will be about today and yet another chapter will transport us to the time when her parents met. I believe there was a deliberate purpose for this time displacement but I would have liked to get to know the family in a more chronological way.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I downloaded this on a whim to my Nook because it was only $1.99 on the Barnes & Noble site. I'm glad it didn't cost more--I would have been horribly disappointed. As it was, I managed to finish it, but just barely. The writing was perfectly fine, but the disjointed way that the author jumped back and forth between time periods of her life was distracting. Now it's 1952...now it's 2005...now it's 1967...now it's 1980...now it's 1954...the transitions were jarring.

[SouthWestZippy · Rating 3 out of 5]

On January 23, 1952 a plane crashed into a neighborhood, destroying three houses and part of a fourth. Seven year old Donna was killed, her two year old Sister was severely burned and her Parents traumatized.

The story is heartbreaking and at times surreal feeling. I did not like the switching between the now, her youth and the day of the accident. Made it hard to follow and to many annoying not needed details.

[Ellayne Elias · Rating 2 out of 5]

A good story, but way too many grammatical errors. I don't tolerate these very well. In fact, I usually stop reading a book if I come across a grammatical error. I think if someone wants to be a writer, her grammar must be impeccable. Here is an example: "Her hair was always expertly coiffed by her own hand, clothes neatly pressed for both SHE AND HER TWO GIRLS."

[Johanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

It seems sad that one event, though huge and disastrous, that happened before she was born could be THE defining characteristic of her life ..... every decision ..... every job ..... every relationship ..... for decades. She seems to have never moved past her genesis.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just finished reading this novel and I am trying to hold back the tears.

Judy brought to life her mother, father and sisters in this memoir of the tragedy they lived through when a plane crashed into their home and changed their lives forever. Judy tells the raw story of her families loss, tragedy, healing and her place in the family as a replacement child.

A heartbreaking read.

[Laura Mathisen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a fascinating insight into a life and person whose trauma manifested in so many ways. I wish that there had been more of a happier ending for her, but I hope in the years since she wrote this that life has become sweeter.

[Mary Arkless · Rating 4 out of 5]

During the winter of 1951-1952 three passenger planes crashed on the town of Elizabeth, NJ. The second plane crashed among houses. In one house, a mother was home with her mother and two-year-old daughter. Just minutes before the crash, her seven-year-old daughter and the girl's friend arrived home from school. The seven-year-old was trapped under a fallen beam, the friend and the baby were on fire, the grandmother, although stunned, was ok. The mother had to think fast, sent her mother to run down the stairs and out of the house, extinguished the fire on the friend and sent her out. The seven-year-old screamed that the baby was on fire, and her mother should help her. The mother had to wrap the baby in a quilt and then rolled her down the stairs, as she was about to turn to help her seven-year-0ld, she realized the door to the outside was closed and locked, so no one could get in to get the baby. What should she do? She decided to run down, put the baby out, then come for the trapped daughter. When she opened the door, a man took the baby from her, but as she turned to run back up, he stopped her. The stairs were well alight by then. Two more men came, and none let the mother go back in, and seconds later the stairs collapsed. The seven-year-old died.

The mother had relatively superficial burns, but the two-year-old was burnt over 80% of her body. She survived, but had many surgeries in that first year, and then had surgeries at least once a year until well into her teens, when she decided she'd had enough.

To try to heal their broken family, the parents decided to try to have another baby. This baby is Judy Mandel, the author. She decided to try to find out why her family was the way it was, and to see if this tragedy formed her character and led her to make mistakes in choosing which men to love. Her family had thought she knew all about the plane crash and the fire which had killed one sister and maimed another, but they had never really discussed the event with her. And if it hadn't been for the plane crash, she would never have existed. As an adult, she accidentally discovered when her oldest sister's birthday was. It hadn't been marked when she was growing up, and when she scheduled something on that date many years later, her surviving sister remarked it being the oldest one's birthday.

Each chapter moves around. Some are about the decision to write the story and how she researched it. Some are relatively brief and on the day of the crash, counting down to the minute of the disaster and carrying on after. Some cover a period of Judy's life growing up. There are brief chapters about her relationships with men, and also her role as an adult, caring for her family. Her parents and her sister need her to take care of them and make the decisions which they can not.

Very well written in a way which made me not want to put it down.

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a compelling and poignant book describing the writer and her family's lives, critically impacted by an American Airlines airplane crashing into their apartment building in New Jersey. The crash killed the author's older sister at the age of seven and burned her second-oldest sister over 80 percent of her tiny baby body, fusing her chin to her breastbone. The crash happened before the author was born, but profoundly influenced her life and the lives of her family. She always felt she was the "replacement child," and could never live up to the sweetness and vivacity of the sister she never knew.

After the accident, her shell-shocked parents became increasingly distant from each other. Her older sister was having continual surgeries and skin grafts to try to reapproximate an ordinary human being. The accident was only whispered about by her parents, but the author sensed a great void in the family, and late in her life, finally researched the accident in great detail to find out exactly what had happened.

The book is effectively written with chapters alternating from the author's recent and current life with chapters narrating the day of the accident hour by hour.

It is an affecting read about a tragic life and a broken family.

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mandel’s family suffered an unthinkable tragedy. An airplane crashed into their neighborhood, killing several people, including Judy’s eldest sister, Donna, and leaving her sister Linda, forever physically scarred. Mandel deftly examines her role in the family as the “replacement child,” born to her parents a few years after the crash. With such a troubled family history being present prior to her birth, she carefully retraces the aftermath of that horrific day through the tremendous grief suffered by her family members and trying to understand her role in the family dynamic.

There have been so many tragedies like this and I always wonder how one can move on, summon up the courage to move forward, and live through that kind of heartbreak. Mandel lifts that curtain, revealing her keen observations into how differently each family member faced their grief and struggled through life and their painful past.

[Pat · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of my bridge buddies is from Elizabeth, NJ where 3 plane crashes occurred while she lived there. I was talking to her about Judy Blume's In the Unlikely Event (loosely based on these events) which did not receive very enticing reviews. She said to read Replacement Child by Judy Madel as a factual account of one of those plane crashes, and I am very glad I took her advice - excellent account of a horrible tragedy for so many. Written by the woman who was, in fact, a placement child, I felt the horror of the event and felt the emotions of the whole family which was literally destroyed in 5 minutes. The author is tormented so she digs out all of the accountings of the event and examines her life decisions as related to it. It was creatively written with short descriptions of the whole day hour by hour between biographical developments.

Thank you, Dottie, for this recommendation! I feel like I know your hometown during those times!

[Kris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Memoirs are so hard to write, and the author did such a fabulous job structuring this. A haunting true story of being born into a family that lost a daughter in a plane crash (and that burned a sister also), there's a psychological depth to this book--combined with good writing--that made this a good read. Interviewed this author for my blog after reading this.

[Bonnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, this was a very emotional book to read. After reading Judy Blume's novel anchored on the plane crashes in Elizabeth, NJ I picked up this true story memoir of Judy Mandel. What is incredible about this story is the fact that the author was conceived *after* the crashes, and yet her childhood and adulthood were heavily influenced by these events.

[Mimi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Judy Mandel would never have been born had her older sister not been killed at age 7. On January 23, 1952 in Elizabeth, NJ, an airplane smashed into two houses. Judy's sister, Donna, was killed in the fire and her sister, Linda, was burned over 80% of her body. Her parents felt having another child possibly would help fill the hole losing Donna caused. The accident wasn't discussed at home and Linda had to undergo surgeries nearly every year. This book is how Judy came to understand her place in the family and to try and understand what her parents had endured. Even though Judy was not alive to witness this tragic accident, her life was still profoundly affected by it.

[Emilsbee · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is full of factual errors (listing the third Elizabeth, NJ crash as taking place in March, not February of 1952, The Beatles' appearance on Ed Sullivan being in 1963 instead of 1964, a Rod Stewart song played at a party years before its release, etc) but it's a compelling and heartfelt story nonetheless, which will undoubtedly resonate with other 'replacement children'. It's self published so I suppose that comes with the territory but a better proofreader would have helped.

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could not put this down.

There are many people who feel, justifiably, that they are replacement children to some degree. All situations are different, but many feel they are a replacement for a child that died, a child that was relinquished, or the biological child that never happened.

This is a particularly tragic story. But the author defines the idea of the replacement child, especially for those who never thought such a thing was even possible.

[Gwen|| Bookish Blondie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a beautiful memoir about Judy's life as a child born to replace on killed in a horrific tragedy in the 1950s. This story is bittersweet as it shows the love she had for her parents and her sister and how she still struggles with the fact that she grew up being a replacement and how her parents, especially her father, could never quite give her the love and attentions she both needed and deserved and how it warped her view of herself and led to her making so bad decisions in her romantic life going forward.

I highly recommend this book.

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was unfamiliar with the phrase “replacement child” and cannot imagine what it would be like growing up feeling that you are one. I listened to the audio book, which is not the norm for me. More and more I think of my limited time and am disappointed when the quality of writing is unexceptional, at best. There are so many talented writers I regret spending time with the mediocre. At least I learned about this phenomena.

[PeggyVW · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciated the author's composition of this book and the way the story unfolded back and forth in time. I'm fascinated by the multiple plane crashes in Elizabeth, NJ in the 1950s and the aftermath of these horrific accidents. I also appreciated Judy Blume's novel "In the Unlikely Event" which was inspired by those accidents.

[Shirley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well written, poignant memoir. I would not have known about this book if I had not read Judy Blume's novel In the Unlikely Event. The family in Replacement Child was fictionalized in Judy Blume's book. Reading Replacement Child is like finding out "the rest of the story."

[Molly Champagne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful story and very well written.

[Shana · Rating 3 out of 5]

THREE AND A HALF STARS. This is a moving memoir about a girl growing up in the shadow of tragedy as a "replacement child" for her 6 year old sister, who perished in a terrible accident. As a mental health professional, this book to me was about a family severely affected by trauma. A plane crashed into their home, starting a fast moving blaze that killed their six year old daughter and left their 2 year old with devastating and permanently disfiguring injuries. The mother was home at the time and experienced the fire first hand, watching it burn her children and forcing decisions that would haunt her for the rest of her life. Their home and all of their possessions were destroyed. Unfortunately, this occurred at a time when there was not as much of an understanding of the lasting effects of trauma and how to treat it that we are developing in the mental health profession nowadays. Many of the actions of these parents I interpreted as being the effects of this extreme trauma. It is interesting how this impact spread to the child who joined the family several years after the actual tragedy and to subsequent generations through the choices that Judy and her sister made as adults that effected their own children.

The issue that I had with this book and the reason I did not give it 4 stars was the way it was structured. It jumped around in time way too much for me, from the day of the tragedy to the author's childhood, to the present day to the author's early adulthood and back again. This took away from the story for me and at times was very confusing. I understand what the author was trying to do, but I did not feel like she pulled it off. I think it would have been a much more coherent book if she had focused on the day of the tragedy and her child hood, rather than adding some of the distracting and superfluous present day information I was disappointed about this, as this is an interesting story. You would probably enjoy it anyway if you like memoirs and/or are a mental health professional who, for some reason, enjoys reading about trauma in their spare time.