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Cut, Stapled, and Mended: When One Woman Reclaimed Her Body and Gave Birth on Her Own Terms After Cesarean
"At least you and the baby are healthy."
That’s what they said when they handed him to me. And they were right. Why then, so long after my body has healed, do I still feel broken? A whisper inside of me Birth is more than a means to a baby. There was something I was supposed to do, something I was to receive through giving birth.
Pregnant again, when the doctor tries to schedule another cesarean, I refuse. I will not submit to being tied down, cut open, and having my uterus extracted again without a fight.
That's why I ask a midwife to help me give birth. I tell her that I’m determined and strong. But she sees through my tough-guy armor. She smiles, saying, "Birth isn’t a battle to win or lose. It’s the result of delving into your vulnerability and finding your true feminine power."
In exquisite detail, Roanna holds nothing back in her powerful birth memoir, plunging the reader deep into the intimacy of this universal rite of passage. Part memoir, part manifesto, this is a must read for anyone who has given birth, will give birth, or who loves someone who will give birth.
That’s what they said when they handed him to me. And they were right. Why then, so long after my body has healed, do I still feel broken? A whisper inside of me Birth is more than a means to a baby. There was something I was supposed to do, something I was to receive through giving birth.
Pregnant again, when the doctor tries to schedule another cesarean, I refuse. I will not submit to being tied down, cut open, and having my uterus extracted again without a fight.
That's why I ask a midwife to help me give birth. I tell her that I’m determined and strong. But she sees through my tough-guy armor. She smiles, saying, "Birth isn’t a battle to win or lose. It’s the result of delving into your vulnerability and finding your true feminine power."
In exquisite detail, Roanna holds nothing back in her powerful birth memoir, plunging the reader deep into the intimacy of this universal rite of passage. Part memoir, part manifesto, this is a must read for anyone who has given birth, will give birth, or who loves someone who will give birth.
180 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2013
13 people are currently reading
337 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
October 14, 2014
This book makes a nice addition to the "birth stories" genre. If you are looking for statistics or evidence, this is not the place for it, though Rosewood does provide a couple of pages of references at the end. It is the author's personal story, pure and simple.
A quote from Dr. Marsden Wagner appears on the front cover: "This book needs to be read by pregnant or to-be pregnant women, to-be fathers, midwives, nurses, hospital administrators, and, most especially, by doctors." This is an admirable goal, but not all of these groups may benefit, not because Rosewood doesn't have something important to say but because, for various reasons, they may not be able to absorb the message. Rosewood's transformation from the person she was before she birthed three babies to the woman she is now took place as a result of her experience, not as received wisdom from a book. Mothers-to-be may gain an intellectual understanding of the powerful forces of birth, but must go through their own experiences to fully comprehend those forces. I have a feeling that most midwives, many nurses, and some doctors already understand the transformational power of birth. For those who don't, it may be difficult to receive that message through the pages of a book.
All that said, the ideas Rosewood explores--the meaning of the feminine, the challenge of vulnerability and surrender, the dance between courage and acceptance--are ones that need to be brought to the surface and shared, and I applaud Rosewood for revealing so much of herself in order to do so.
A quote from Dr. Marsden Wagner appears on the front cover: "This book needs to be read by pregnant or to-be pregnant women, to-be fathers, midwives, nurses, hospital administrators, and, most especially, by doctors." This is an admirable goal, but not all of these groups may benefit, not because Rosewood doesn't have something important to say but because, for various reasons, they may not be able to absorb the message. Rosewood's transformation from the person she was before she birthed three babies to the woman she is now took place as a result of her experience, not as received wisdom from a book. Mothers-to-be may gain an intellectual understanding of the powerful forces of birth, but must go through their own experiences to fully comprehend those forces. I have a feeling that most midwives, many nurses, and some doctors already understand the transformational power of birth. For those who don't, it may be difficult to receive that message through the pages of a book.
All that said, the ideas Rosewood explores--the meaning of the feminine, the challenge of vulnerability and surrender, the dance between courage and acceptance--are ones that need to be brought to the surface and shared, and I applaud Rosewood for revealing so much of herself in order to do so.
July 22, 2018
Garbage.
Her feelings after having an unplanned, unwanted cesarean were completely valid. Her desire to have a VBAC was completely valid. Her sadness over the trauma of her birth experience even though she had a healthy child was completely valid. But, this book is utterly useless for anyone wanting to prepare for a VBAC - and I say this having been given this book by a doula after my own traumatic birth experience.
The author is full of herself, wildly hypocritical, and focused only on a VBAC. She does not care about the true health of her body (though she claims she does by citing how dangerous c-sections can be), and most certainly is NOT focused on the health of her baby. This was one of the most selfish birth stories I have ever read, she continually put her life and her babies lives at risk. I'm so very happy it worked out for her and everyone survived but this is zero percent helpful for women who want VBACs to read. There's no good takeaway. The *only* takeaway, in my opinion, is that if you want a VBAC and your doctor says no (citing specific health reasons, not just because they are scared), you should just have a home VBAC and not tell her - and risk your and your baby's life.
Her feelings after having an unplanned, unwanted cesarean were completely valid. Her desire to have a VBAC was completely valid. Her sadness over the trauma of her birth experience even though she had a healthy child was completely valid. But, this book is utterly useless for anyone wanting to prepare for a VBAC - and I say this having been given this book by a doula after my own traumatic birth experience.
The author is full of herself, wildly hypocritical, and focused only on a VBAC. She does not care about the true health of her body (though she claims she does by citing how dangerous c-sections can be), and most certainly is NOT focused on the health of her baby. This was one of the most selfish birth stories I have ever read, she continually put her life and her babies lives at risk. I'm so very happy it worked out for her and everyone survived but this is zero percent helpful for women who want VBACs to read. There's no good takeaway. The *only* takeaway, in my opinion, is that if you want a VBAC and your doctor says no (citing specific health reasons, not just because they are scared), you should just have a home VBAC and not tell her - and risk your and your baby's life.
January 14, 2023
I learned a lot in this book. My take away lesson was prepare and then surrender. You can and should prepare and learn and educate yourself for the birth you desire and the birth that feels right to you, and in the end, you have to surrender to birth and what ever ends up happening. I think we often think if we prepare and do everything “right” we will get to control the outcome of our births, and that isn’t true. We can prepare and do our best to support the outcome we desire but in the end, life is not so controlled and black and white. I also learned that sometimes (a lot of times) mental healing and preparing is more important than the physical, and that can look very different for every person.
June 29, 2023
It was beautiful! Found myself crying at the end.
July 25, 2013
I needed to read this.
Her description of her feelings regarding her baby's first moments post-cesarean (page 49) so perfectly encapsulated how I felt after my own cesarean that I cried. I so distinctly remember that feeling of helplessness; I'm not sure it will ever really go away.
On the down side, there's a lot of her personal family history and emotional trauma that I don't share, so that was hard to identify with. She also occasionally comes off as "holier-than-thou" ("I've never eaten a TV dinner"), but those moments are few and far between. Overall, I liked her as a narrator.
I see why this book is recommended to basically everybody, but I think it will resonate most with women who have undergone cesareans, especially women pursuing VBACs. Her description of birth on page 146 blew me away.
I am so, so glad I read this. It's been over three years since my cesarean, but I still get emotional about it sometimes and I needed to hear the things she went through.
Her description of her feelings regarding her baby's first moments post-cesarean (page 49) so perfectly encapsulated how I felt after my own cesarean that I cried. I so distinctly remember that feeling of helplessness; I'm not sure it will ever really go away.
On the down side, there's a lot of her personal family history and emotional trauma that I don't share, so that was hard to identify with. She also occasionally comes off as "holier-than-thou" ("I've never eaten a TV dinner"), but those moments are few and far between. Overall, I liked her as a narrator.
I see why this book is recommended to basically everybody, but I think it will resonate most with women who have undergone cesareans, especially women pursuing VBACs. Her description of birth on page 146 blew me away.
I am so, so glad I read this. It's been over three years since my cesarean, but I still get emotional about it sometimes and I needed to hear the things she went through.
January 1, 2021
Mixed feelings here. Was given this to read by my BFW small group mentor and it's definitely a book that challenged me as well as gave me some things to think about (particularly the author's feeling that her baby crying at birth was a distress call and that the medical staff had abandoned him while the surgery happened) but it definitely didn't convert me. I don't know what sort of person I would recommend this book to. I especially don't agree with her that hospital-based birth workers are motivated by money. As a self reflection or a narrative it's a lovely story; as a guide to others, it scares me.
July 1, 2013
I really enjoyed this book. Not only does it provide a lot of great information for women and partners and any others concerned with pregnancy and birth, it's also a really compelling read. I found myself staying up way later than I expected just to keep finding out what happened next. It's an honest, enjoyable and engaging story of one woman's journey to find herself as a woman and achieve her dream of a vaginal birth after two cesareans.
May 19, 2019
All of the books Doula Training International have the most incredible stories, but this one was transcendent. The story of two semi-emergency cesareans, followed by a determined mother doing the deep emotional and physical work to support a successful VBAC. It reminded me what strength and resolve it takes to be our own advocates, and helped me examine a few (non-mothering) things in my life that are asking for healing.
June 13, 2013
couldn't put it down. very well written. very entertaining. it's not just about birth, cesarean section, and vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean), its about love, personal search, family life. It is warm and funny. You'll see yourself in this story somewhere, as the friend, the mother, the husband, the father, or the neighbor.
July 23, 2013
By far, one of the strangest books I've read. There were nuggets of goodness...but I don't have much at all in common with this author and found her life to be in complete opposition to my beliefs and opinions. It was hard for me to take wisdom from this.
May 19, 2013
Especially pertinent for those with history of c-sections thinking about a vbac. Plus it includes a recipe for French onion soup using placenta.
May 22, 2013
Beautifully written! I picked this up and didn't put it down until I was finished.
October 9, 2016
This is a wonderful memoir that made me cry, marvel at the life growing inside of me, and feel the first bubbles of excitement in giving birth and welcoming motherhood.
February 4, 2022
After a traumatic and unplanned cesarean myself, I was so grateful to come across this book and read it in one sitting. Reading the author’s accounts of her two cesareans was so vivid and articulate; it helped give me ways to clarify my experience better to my husband and care team moving forward. I found her curiosity and tenacity to explore ALL the options from all types of practitioners in moving on from her c-sections relatable. If I had endless time, funds, and childcare…I would, too! Ultimately, I feel her exploratory mission to “heal” whatever needs to be healed to HBAC is framed in a healthy way as she finds her contentment and peace within. I felt her description of balancing a relationship with both an OB and a midwife to be refreshingly honest. Of course this book is not medical advice and in no way advocates to do exactly as she did (as I realize some reviewers are upset about), but I think it paints a clear picture of how backed into a corner you can be with options for VBAC in certain areas and situations. I came away from the book with such an empowered message that above all else - before loyalty to any one or any system or any practice - you have to advocate for yourself. Her telling of her third birth also is written in such a way that had me crying through the final chapters. She captures the otherworldly experience of birth so succinctly. Reading the book, I often would pause to add notes and takeaways to my own future birth plans; her experiences hold great wisdom and teaching opportunities. I am hanging onto this book and will absolutely page through it again when I am closer to being ready to VBAC.
March 23, 2018
Rosewood gives us a brief history of herself and tells how her thoughts were during her first pregnancy and birth - when she ended up with an unplanned cesarean. We follow her through her next two births and pregnancies as she rediscovers herself and tries all sorts of strange practices in an effort to achieve a VBAC (Vaginal Birth after Cesarean).
Some women hapolly schedule their cesareans, others accept them as a surpries, and still others fight them tooth-and-nail. Of these three, Roanna is the last category. It is good to have this book out there, if only to shed light on the fact that some women are emotionally devastated by their cesareans - birth trauma is a real thing. I would definitely say that there are some concepts in this book that are a little 'out there' for me, but overall it is an emotional, thought provoking book that I would suggest to all expectant mothers, their family, and support network (especially if they are working through some birth trauma and people aren't understanding them).
Some women hapolly schedule their cesareans, others accept them as a surpries, and still others fight them tooth-and-nail. Of these three, Roanna is the last category. It is good to have this book out there, if only to shed light on the fact that some women are emotionally devastated by their cesareans - birth trauma is a real thing. I would definitely say that there are some concepts in this book that are a little 'out there' for me, but overall it is an emotional, thought provoking book that I would suggest to all expectant mothers, their family, and support network (especially if they are working through some birth trauma and people aren't understanding them).
December 15, 2022
Held my interest and i enjoyed the book. I could recommend it to other caesarean deliveries and home births and hospital vaginal births and to men and parents and relatives and friends. It was a quick personal relatable read. It didn’t hurt that the author is in the restaurant business because i enjoy tales of food.
January 26, 2020
I worry her readers, specifically pregnant people, will not get to the part where she puts down her shame and fight for a HBAC and just take the forceful manner in which she pushed forward to her demise. This is a story of the exception and not necessarily the rule.
June 24, 2021
I did find this book useful in trying to discover the inner strength and desire necessary for a VBAC. I am worried what might happen to my psyche if another cesarean is the story for my next birth as well.
January 6, 2018
great book. I laughed out loud. informative. realistic. relates with a woman in such a beautiful way about her journey as a woman. a wonderful book about birth and prep.
September 3, 2014
Honestly, as someone working with a midwife and hoping for a "natural" birth, the climax of this book scared the sh*t out of me! But, I am glad to read as many birth stories as I can, even if I think I would make different choices. I didn't really relate to the author and her seemingly frantic exploration of alternative remedies, though I haven't been in her shoes so I certainly don't judge her approach. I did find her to be a bit immature in how she related to other people. Her apparent honesty regarding her feelings and her experience was impressive though.
June 18, 2015
I found this book to be unremarkable in terms of what it has to offer to the discussion of birth trauma. It doesn't even acknowledge that birth trauma is the topic, focusing instead on unwanted and possibly unneeded c-sections. the most important part, I think, was her emotional work, and that was glossed over in favor of the triumphant vbac (instead of, you know, acknowledging that it could have gone a different way).
June 12, 2013
This book was well written, but the author shares different spiritual mindsets/beliefs than I do and that is the reason I did not enjoy it as much as I had hoped I would. It is a great story about her personal journey to achieve a VBAC and was an interesting read but I did not think it lived up to the hype due to her personal views of soul searching.
March 14, 2015
As a labor and delivery nurse who participates in performing c sections I thought the patient / mother / writer's description of her experiences in the OR important to read and reflect on. Great book for anyone with PTSD from birth trauma or unwanted CS and anyone considering a VBAC. And loved her description of (spoiler alert:) vaginal birth.
March 9, 2014
Fantastic memoir! I found myself in tears several times because the author put into words some of my own experiences and feelings about my c-section. I highly reccomend this to anyone who has experienced a traumatic c-section or anyone considering a VBAC.
April 22, 2013
controversial, vulnerable and triumphant. first of a kind.
January 4, 2019
Good book for anyone who has had a c-section and desires a VBAC. Perfect book for anyone who had a traumatic birth or suffered PTSD after a c-section.
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews