Mercury Begins

Mercury #0.5

by Robert Kroese

Travel to ancient Troy with the irrepressible angel Mercury as he masterminds the most unnecessarily complicated sneak attack in history! Never read any of the Mercury books? Start here! Already read one or more of the books? Also OK! There's no wrong way to read this story, unless you're using a spatula and a bowl full of goose feathers.

Genres: Fantasy, Humor, Fiction, Ebooks, Paranormal, Mythology, Comedy

28 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 22, 2012

About the author

Robert Kroese's sense of irony was honed growing up in Grand Rapids, Michigan - home of the Amway Corporation and the Gerald R. Ford Museum, and the first city in the United States to fluoridate its water supply. In second grade, he wrote his first novel, the saga of Captain Bill and his spaceship Thee Eagle. This turned out to be the high point of his academic career. After barely graduating from Calvin College in 1992 with a philosophy degree, he was fired from a variety of jobs before moving to California, where he stumbled into software development. As this job required neither punctuality nor a sense of direction, he excelled at it. In 2009, he called upon his extensive knowledge of useless information and love of explosions to write his first novel, Mercury Falls. Since then, he has written 18 more books.

Reviews

[Montzalee Wittmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another short prequel!

Mercury Begins
By Robert Kroese
This is a short prequel that is all about The Trojan Horse episode. Not exactly like I was told! Lol! Witty and fun!

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 Stars


After having read books one and two I decided to read the two novellas that bring the beginnings of Mercury to light. This short read is hilarious. It is Mercury’s first assignment as an angel, he is to oversee and ensure the fall of Troy. This is the perfect companion read to the main series as it really is a fun way to see the start of our main hero.



Robert Kroese is gifted at penning humor and wit into his novels. A couple of quotes that highlight his style:



“Mercury studied the note some more. Who were the Trojans again? People who live in the city of Troy, he thought. Weren’t they at war with somebody? The Greeks. That was it, the Trojans were fighting the Greeks. But the Greeks couldn’t penetrate the giant wall the Trojans had erected around the city. “Help the Greeks find a back door” must mean help them get through the wall. At least he hoped that’s what it meant.”



Also:



“”I don’t care about the feathers, you numbskull,” said Mercury. “I just want shoes with rubbery soles, so the men don’t make so much noise inside the horse. These shoes hardly make any noise at all. You could sneak right up on someone with these rubbery soles. Hey, that’s what we’ll call them!”
“Sneakers?” asked Daedalus.
“Sneakers? Good grief, no. That’s a terrible name. I was thinking ‘rubbers.’ Imagine a hundred Greeks, oiled up and wearing rubbers! The Trojans wouldn’t stand a chance!”
“You’re going to put a hundred men inside the horse?”
“Sure,” said Mercury. “We’ll tell the Trojans the horse is a gift. They’ll drag it right into the city. Then at night, our oiled up contingent will pop out from underneath the horse and penetrate the Trojan defenses.””


I am a now a huge fan of Robert Kroese and of the whole Mercury series. If you like light hearted, witty, and damn fun urban fantasy, than these are the books for you…Highest Recommendations!!!

[Randy Harmelink · Rating 3 out of 5]

The humor just kind of fell flat for me, so I wasn't a fan.

[Katy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Please note: I will not change my rating or review, as my reviews are based upon the book, but I will warn other bloggers that this author has recently treated a fellow blogger very badly and abusively when she politely declined his review request and advised him to follow submission guidelines in the future when requesting a review. I have removed myself as a fan of this author and will no longer support him through purchasing his books.

Book Info: Genre: Urban Fantasy/Humorous
Reading Level: Adult
Recommended for: Fans of humorous stories, those who are interested in the series.
Trigger Warnings: Historical inaccuracies, sacking of Troy

My Thoughts: I read the first full novel in this series, Mercury Falls, several years ago (2010) (review linked here where formatting allowed). I have since accumulated the rest of the series from Amazon Vine, and picked up the two prequels, so I'm going to go ahead and read the rest of the series and review it, starting here.

The most important thing you need to know about the Mercury books is that they are hilarious. Take this quote:

“It was the first time Mercury had tried beer and, having been informed it was an acquired taste, he did his best to acquire it over the course of twenty-four bottles. He remembered thinking he was making real progress around number eighteen, but everything after that was a blur.”

His conversation with the seagull was priceless, too. And then there is this footnote: “Contrary to popular belief, Microsoft did not invent PowerPoint in the 1990s. It was devised by Lucifer, along with drawing and quartering and several other forms of torture, in the third millennium B.C.”

At any rate, I enjoyed this story, which introduces us to Mercury, gives us some background on his job and how and why he does what he does, and generally sets us off. The author recommends if you haven't read any of the series to start here, but I started with the first novel, so you can go that route as well. Recommended if you like to laugh.

Series Information: Mercury Begins is the first of two prequels to the Mercury series.
Prequel Two: Mercury Swings, to be read/reviewed next
Book 1: Mercury Falls, read in September 2010, review linked here where formatting allowed
Book 2: Mercury Rises, to be read soon
Book 3: Mercury Rests, to be read soon.

Disclosure: I bought this novella for myself. All opinions are my own.

Synopsis: Travel to ancient Troy with the irrepressible angel Mercury as he masterminds the most unnecessarily complicated sneak attack in history! Never read any of the Mercury books? Start here! Already read one or more of the books? Also OK! There's no wrong way to read this story, unless you're using a spatula and a bowl full of goose feathers.

[Philip McClimon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this twice. The first time I just plowed through in one sitting and thought it was just okay. I really liked the concept and knew there was a whole series of Mercury books that all sounded interesting so I read it again only slower and then I thought it was genius. It is funny but if you pay attention and don't just blaze through it you will catch subtle miscommunications between characters and nuanced dialogue that will be buried and almost hidden in the text that will be very humorous. There are characters in the background doing things while main characters are talking that will make you laugh. It draws its influence from Douglas Adams to be sure and is remaniscant of Terry Pratchett and Month Python. It is satirecal and irreverent, clever and funny, and yes just a little bit insightful. I am looking forward to the whole series.

[Roy Hessinger · Rating 4 out of 5]

He does have good sarcastic writing down pat, damn him. Always enjoyable to read.

[Carolyn Sullivan · Rating 2 out of 5]

A tongue-in-cheek version of how the Trojan Horse came to be used in a military campaign. As well as how Mercury received his wing shoes and staff. A short read with some crass and crude language that downgraded this adventure unfortunately.

[Alice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book One

Mercury is actually a Angel who is involved in the fall of Troy to advance the Divine Plan. How he does it is quite a bit different than what Homer wrote, but with the same results. Lots of fun and quite a few laughs. Very enjoyable.

[Em Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh.... My.......

I can't breathe... Got bollocked by my kids for laughing too loud while they were trying to sleep. And this is only the prequel? Fuuuuuuuuu......

[MaryJo Legg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short and Funny

If this short story is any indication of the rest of the series, I'm going to be thoroughly enjoying myself for the next couple of weeks.

[Pam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Silly Fun

I was expecting more from this. More laughs. But as short as it was, I consider no time was wasted as I got a few smiles.

[Justin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Before he was up to his wingtips (as in actual wings) in apocalyptic events, everyone's favorite slacker angel Mercury was a rookie on his very first assignment - bringing the Trojan war to a final, bloody, ridiculous end. Mercury being Mercury, this job involved very little planning and an awful lot of improvisation, half-assed ideas and sarcasm, lots and lots of sarcasm.

Like Mercury Swings, Mercury Begins is a quick, funny little detour from the main trilogy (which starts with the excellent Mercury Falls). Author Rob Kroese has a knack for combining supernatural adventure and witty dialogue and observations. And by witty I mean largely juvenile, laugh out loud funny. Seriously, I read this story while waiting for an oil change and the guy at the desk kept looking over to see why I was giggling like a schoolgirl.

You don't have to be familiar with the rest of the series to enjoy Mercury Begins, but it doesn't hurt. If you're just looking for a quick, funny and mostly light-hearted read, this one is well worth the price.

[Jakob Barnes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can only think of one way on how to explain what this book mainly is, as far as what it's about. Imagine Greek Mythology was rewritten under the influence of (what I would guess to be) most modern day office workers who get drunk, make terrible notes even sober, make great drawings of horses on those said notes, and have great ideas that turn out terribly. Now that I describe it like that, it's almost like a bad influenced teen/young adult more then a office worker. I can't tell anymore. What I can tell is that this is an awesome book, with at least one area that will make anyone laugh, even if it's just a small chuckle. If there is any series that I want to see turn into a movie series, it would have to be this.

[Harold Shaver · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a prequel to a quadrology of books about a mischievous rogue angel known simply as Mercury. More of an extended short story than a novella and while the story line is not directly connected to that of the quadrology it serves as an introduction to the main character. Without giving anything away I can say that you have never seen the story of the fall of Troy go down quite like this. Enjoy this introduction to Mercury and the series that follows but beware once you have read this you will have to read the whole series.

[Dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short prequel to the Mercury trilogy. Angel Mercury is sent to make sure Rome is created- by making sure the Greeks beat the Trojans. It involves a big horse.

It's very funny, with lots of jokes in, and also explains how Mercury came to be revered as a God in Ancient Greece and Rome. A short little story but a brilliant one all the same.

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fast and fun read that certainly piqued my interest to read the rest of the series. Filled with sarcasm and ridiculous humor I found it over much too quickly. Mercury was definitely a lovable angel on his mis-adventure.

[Dan Barbier · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another hilarious rump with Mercury by Robert Kroese. A Mel Brooks/Monty Python hybrid with plenty of laughs, some louder than others. If you're feeling down, pick this thing up. It will cure what ails you.

[Samantha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quirky and I think I will like the books. This is more of a teaser. The same author also did a Kindle serial about a king turned zombe... he seems to be channeling a younger Terry Pratchett which is pretty much right up my alley.

[Onionboy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The short story format was great for this book. The author didn't have to worry about developing and resolving a complex plot, so he just focused on the humor. Because of that, this is much funnier that the rest of the series.

[Darren · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't often laugh at a book, even when it's supposed to be funny. I chuckled a lot. This is a story about the Mercury and his helping of the sack of a famous city. It's hilarious and thought provoking all at once.

[Medeia Sharif · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a funny take on the Trojan War and the infamous wooden horse used in a sneak attack. Mercury, a hilarious angel who’s on assignment, never has a boring moment in this short story that’s a great complement to the Mercury trilogy.

[Jason · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny take on the events surrounding the Trojan horse. Fast read taking place early on in Mercury's carer.

[Michael Stockinger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice little short story that fits in well with the Mercury books. Funny, clever, and quick. Looking forward to Mercury Swings and wrapping it up with Mercury Rests.

[Les · Rating 3 out of 5]

I pretty funny story. I look forward to reading the rest of them.

[H.B. Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another short book in the Mercury series. Even though it is short, it has several of the trademark funny bits.

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short story in the Mercury series. Mercury is new to the Apocalypse Bureau and is tasked with making sure the fall of Troy goes as planned.

[Ryan Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was ridiculous and hilarious, over the top and over way to soon. I can't wait to dive into this series.

[Amrita Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

fun and witty

[John Walkenford · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short story that gives an excellent example of the craziness of the trilogy that it is related too.

[Mark Leone · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first book I've read by Robert Kroese. It will definitely not be the last.