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388 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2004















“What i'm trying to tell you," Min said, "is that im going to grow up to be one of those chubby old ladies. It's in my genes. Like self raising flour. i'm going to pouf."
"That's going to work out well for me," Cal said. "Because i'm going to grow up to be one of those horny old men who chases chubby old ladies around the couch.”


“This is a woman you've known less than twelve hours. It took you a year to pick out a couch, but you're seriously—"
“Yes,” Roger said. “She's the one.”

I could shove this swizzle stick through his heart, Min thought. She wouldn't do it, of course. The stick was plastic and not nearly pointed enough on the end. Also, people didn't do things like that in southern Ohio. A sawed-off shotgun, that was the ticket.
“Yes.” He bent still closer. “Somewhere quiet where we can talk. You look like someone with interesting things to say. And I'm somebody who'd like to hear them.”
Min smiled at him. “That's a terrible line. Does it usually work for you?”
“Look, David, sex is not in the cards. I'm cheap, but I'm not slimy. You want to bet ten bucks on a pickup, fine, but that's it. Nothing with a future.”
“He's been trained to please people to get approval, and the people he likes to please most are women, who are more than willing to be pleased by him because he looks the way he does. So his looks guarantee assumption and his charm guarantees attraction. He's one of the most elegant adaptive solutions I've ever observed.”
“David,” Cynthie said, “if you wanted sex in the first five minutes, you should have dated a stripper. If [Min’s] an actuary, she's a cautious person, her career is figuring out how to minimize risk, and in your case, she was right.”


"I'm crazy about you."I completely adored it! I want to thank Leila from the bottom of my heart for nagging me to read this one for YEARS . . . 😂


I know you stole me from my real parents, they'd let me eat butter.
Min swallowed "the thing is, im going to spread. Hips, thighs-"
"for future reference," he said starting to laugh. "if you're sitting half naked on my lap and you tell me you're going to spread-"
“It's a good thing he broke up with you because now you're free for when the right man finds you. Your prince is on his way."
"Right. I'm sure he was on his way but a truck hit him.”



















"Some things are supposed to be made with butter. You're one of them."
Bonnie turned back to the field and called Roger's name. When he came trotting over to them, she said, "Honey, are you going to ask me to marry you?"
"Yes," he said. "I didn't want to rush you, so I thought I'd wait till our one-month anniversary. It's only eleven days."
"Very sensible," Bonnie said. "Just so you know, I'm going to say yes."
Roger sighed. "That takes a lot of the worry out of it." He leaned over and kissed her and went back to the field.
"Do you know how many calories—"