i feel some need to explain myself. obviously this series is clumsy, unsightly, schemingly insincere, honestly kind of fetishistic propaganda but Profoundly Messed-Up Girl Troubled By & Deeply Vulnerable to Christianity is one of like two foundational alephcore archetypes so i'm a sucker. serenity's developing moral compass is constantly warped, progressive aspect, by the squeaky-clean evil of her near-villainously magnetic evangelical classmates, and by extension of the author-god who shares their mortally important and dashingly cutting-edge conviction that ontogeny does not recapitulate phylogeny. even outside of their immediate geographic influence serenity remains polarised into a standard evangelical conversion narrative, attempting her first prayer in early modern english before uneasily relaxing into the angular shadows of a slang that of course never existed outside these pages. somewhere in this prayer, as the author directs her through the motions of what will no doubt eventually become her testimony, her divinely-directed tsun (shut up it's a manga it counts) begins, as expected, to give way to dere—but it's a dere that unfortunately concisely & not entirely inelegantly expresses my own desperate existential desires (for god as objet petit a, some might say—or might have said, in 2012), and in the midst of all my fortifications my heart breaks at faces and phrases i recognise all too well. then serenity's tsun returns front and centre, and i realise, with some despair, that the cookie-cutter evangelical conversion narrative really is the story of being god's little tsundere. well, as cringe as it sounds, with what phrase could i—who still, to be clear, wishes nothing in the least to do with evangelicalism—ever better express my relationship with her? i guess i'm asking, in honour of a truly groundbreaking film-theoretical tweet: is it really necessary that a manga be good? is it not enough to see one's own pathetic vulnerabilities imprinted on a face, huge?