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I'm Not Sam
Now I'm way beyond confusion.
Now I'm scared.
I've slid down the rabbit-hole and what's down there is dark and serious. This is not play-acting or some waking bad dream she's having. She's changed, somehow overnight. I don't know how I know this but I sense it as surely as I sense my own skin. This is not Sam, my Sam, wholly sane and firmly balanced. Capable of tying off an artery as neatly as you'd thread a belt through the loops of your jeans.
And now I'm shivering too.
In some fundamental way she's changed...
Now I'm scared.
I've slid down the rabbit-hole and what's down there is dark and serious. This is not play-acting or some waking bad dream she's having. She's changed, somehow overnight. I don't know how I know this but I sense it as surely as I sense my own skin. This is not Sam, my Sam, wholly sane and firmly balanced. Capable of tying off an artery as neatly as you'd thread a belt through the loops of your jeans.
And now I'm shivering too.
In some fundamental way she's changed...
127 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2012
25 people are currently reading
1142 people want to read
About the author
Jack Ketchum
199 books2,969 followersDallas William Mayr, better known by his pen name Jack Ketchum, was an American horror fiction author. He was the recipient of four Bram Stoker Awards and three further nominations. His novels included Off Season, Offspring, and Red, which were adapted to film. In 2011, Ketchum received the World Horror Convention Grand Master Award for outstanding contribution to the horror genre.
A onetime actor, teacher, literary agent, lumber salesman, and soda jerk, Ketchum credited his childhood love of Elvis Presley, dinosaurs, and horror for getting him through his formative years. He began making up stories at a young age and explained that he spent much time in his room, or in the woods near his house, down by the brook: "[m]y interests [were] books, comics, movies, rock 'n roll, show tunes, TV, dinosaurs [...] pretty much any activity that didn't demand too much socializing, or where I could easily walk away from socializing." He would make up stories using his plastic soldiers, knights, and dinosaurs as the characters.
Later, in his teen years, Ketchum was befriended by Robert Bloch, author of Psycho, who became his mentor.
Ketchum worked many different jobs before completing his first novel (1980's controversial Off Season), including acting as agent for novelist Henry Miller at Scott Meredith Literary Agency.
His decision to eventually concentrate on novel writing was partly fueled by a preference for work that offered stability and longevity.
Ketchum died of cancer on January 24, 2018, in New York City at the age of 71.
A onetime actor, teacher, literary agent, lumber salesman, and soda jerk, Ketchum credited his childhood love of Elvis Presley, dinosaurs, and horror for getting him through his formative years. He began making up stories at a young age and explained that he spent much time in his room, or in the woods near his house, down by the brook: "[m]y interests [were] books, comics, movies, rock 'n roll, show tunes, TV, dinosaurs [...] pretty much any activity that didn't demand too much socializing, or where I could easily walk away from socializing." He would make up stories using his plastic soldiers, knights, and dinosaurs as the characters.
Later, in his teen years, Ketchum was befriended by Robert Bloch, author of Psycho, who became his mentor.
Ketchum worked many different jobs before completing his first novel (1980's controversial Off Season), including acting as agent for novelist Henry Miller at Scott Meredith Literary Agency.
His decision to eventually concentrate on novel writing was partly fueled by a preference for work that offered stability and longevity.
Ketchum died of cancer on January 24, 2018, in New York City at the age of 71.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 115 reviews
May 10, 2018
When 30-something Lilly assumes a whole new personality, that of a six year old girl, upon waking one morning, her husband, Patrick doesn’t know what to do. Is his wife having a breakdown, does she have a split personality, is Patrick himself experiencing some kind of breakdown? The questions begin with the need to resolve them at the behest of a distrustful narrator.
I’m Not Sam is a gripping psychological horror in which lust and love are tested to the extreme. Ketchum and McKee’s novella and accompanying short story is as disturbing as it in engrossing, there’s a caveat though. The story leaves the reader with more questions than answers. Whilst this works in the case of the ‘what-if’ scenario presented to the main characters, it left me wanting rhyme for reason.
My rating: 2.5 stars. Seems harsh because I did enjoy the story, I just wanted more closure.
I’m Not Sam is a gripping psychological horror in which lust and love are tested to the extreme. Ketchum and McKee’s novella and accompanying short story is as disturbing as it in engrossing, there’s a caveat though. The story leaves the reader with more questions than answers. Whilst this works in the case of the ‘what-if’ scenario presented to the main characters, it left me wanting rhyme for reason.
My rating: 2.5 stars. Seems harsh because I did enjoy the story, I just wanted more closure.
November 13, 2013
4.5 stars.
A very psychological horror tale that leaves you speculating all along the way. Aside from the "main problem", it's all the little things and emotions brought about as a result that really get your attention. Things that might not immediately come to mind are explored in depth, and give you much to think on.
The ending was one that I didn't see coming, and IMHO, was absolutely perfect for a story of this type!
Recommended!
A very psychological horror tale that leaves you speculating all along the way. Aside from the "main problem", it's all the little things and emotions brought about as a result that really get your attention. Things that might not immediately come to mind are explored in depth, and give you much to think on.
The ending was one that I didn't see coming, and IMHO, was absolutely perfect for a story of this type!
Recommended!
April 3, 2013
I liked this story a lot! The characters were very well developed and the story flowed smoothly, with an ever growing sense of dread that was never fully realized (and was not suppose to be). The unease of the story was more inferrerd than in your face like many of Ketchums earlier works. A bit creepy and disturbing just the way I like it. A very good short from Ketchum and McKee.
February 7, 2014
The story begins with a couple in their prime. Love is grande, sex is good, careers are soaring. Their pieces fit together so well. They know how to touch each other, mind, body, and soul. And then that fear creeps in, well in advance, that familiarity with each other will breed contempt and isolation. And God-damn does it ever.
I sprinted through this novella at record speed. Sprinted. This is as riveting and lean a prose as you will ever read, and a longer novel written like this might be dangerous. The subject matter is bold and daring. If this weren't written with such careful hands, it might seem like smut. Instead, it's a relationship horror masterpiece. The authors are able to make a 30-some woman turn into the most convincing 6 year old. When the character continues to object to being called Sam with "I'm Not Sam!" you don't disagree for a second. Lilly becomes as real as the woman named Sam from whence she came.
And to me that is what the story is about. Losing our loved ones and what they represent and provide for us. They slip away. Sometimes slowly over the years, sometimes overnight. One day you are cool together, and then you wake up and don't know the person. You are disconnected from what you once were. You do all you can to get them back. The tiniest glimpse comes through reflection and sentimentality, such as the main character putting in the wedding video and hoping this brings something recognizable back. When it does, it is for a glimpse that only makes the isolation that soon follows that much more sad and tragic. There is loving going on, but it is more just caretaking where we agree to clean the brown stained skivvies of our loved ones and buy them enough toys to keep them happy.
Morality play and sexual ethics are always surging through the pages of "I'm Not Sam." There is a tug of war between visceral, physical urges of love and the emotional, mental, and even spiritual nature. Did we marry a human body, or marry a human soul? Which one do we truly love?
The first person narrator is one who keeps you guessing. Is he trustworthy or not? As an artfully drawn protagonist, you feel for him but compare how he reacts to how you might. Like his doctor, you will have recommendations that go unheeded. This couple lives in an isolated area, and you wonder how much the narrator is living in his own, isolated reality. Reality slips a bit, and it's just all so very cool.
In the end, our family and loved ones become our beloved play things that we can pick out amongst the crowd of faces, who we cherish at first, but as time goes on they get a bit ravaged by what we do to them. When we see the damage, all we can do is fix it best we can.
(A review copy was provided by Sinister Grin Press via my role as reviewer for bookie-monster.com)
I sprinted through this novella at record speed. Sprinted. This is as riveting and lean a prose as you will ever read, and a longer novel written like this might be dangerous. The subject matter is bold and daring. If this weren't written with such careful hands, it might seem like smut. Instead, it's a relationship horror masterpiece. The authors are able to make a 30-some woman turn into the most convincing 6 year old. When the character continues to object to being called Sam with "I'm Not Sam!" you don't disagree for a second. Lilly becomes as real as the woman named Sam from whence she came.
And to me that is what the story is about. Losing our loved ones and what they represent and provide for us. They slip away. Sometimes slowly over the years, sometimes overnight. One day you are cool together, and then you wake up and don't know the person. You are disconnected from what you once were. You do all you can to get them back. The tiniest glimpse comes through reflection and sentimentality, such as the main character putting in the wedding video and hoping this brings something recognizable back. When it does, it is for a glimpse that only makes the isolation that soon follows that much more sad and tragic. There is loving going on, but it is more just caretaking where we agree to clean the brown stained skivvies of our loved ones and buy them enough toys to keep them happy.
Morality play and sexual ethics are always surging through the pages of "I'm Not Sam." There is a tug of war between visceral, physical urges of love and the emotional, mental, and even spiritual nature. Did we marry a human body, or marry a human soul? Which one do we truly love?
The first person narrator is one who keeps you guessing. Is he trustworthy or not? As an artfully drawn protagonist, you feel for him but compare how he reacts to how you might. Like his doctor, you will have recommendations that go unheeded. This couple lives in an isolated area, and you wonder how much the narrator is living in his own, isolated reality. Reality slips a bit, and it's just all so very cool.
In the end, our family and loved ones become our beloved play things that we can pick out amongst the crowd of faces, who we cherish at first, but as time goes on they get a bit ravaged by what we do to them. When we see the damage, all we can do is fix it best we can.
(A review copy was provided by Sinister Grin Press via my role as reviewer for bookie-monster.com)
April 4, 2013
Going into this book I knew nothing about it, save for the summary that reveals nothing much and what it does reveal is somewhat misleading. I kept expecting Sam to change into a werewolf or some other creature, but I'm Not Sam is more about a marriage and how what surface you accidentally scratch could make you think twice about your partner's character, and regress a comfortable 8-year marriage back to day one. Some writers try too hard to show the love two characters have for each other—Ketchum made me feel it.
I'm Not Sam was a breath of fresh air.
I'm Not Sam was a breath of fresh air.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 6, 2018
This is the first Jack Ketchum story I've read. Yes, I've heard about him, but never had the opportunity to read him.
What can I say? The man was somewhat brilliant. Imagine being called one of the best writers in the world by the second most recognizable writer name in the world -- it's Stephen King (some trivia I picked up along the way), who has inspired numerous aspiring authors.
You only need to read the introduction in this book to understand that he had a way with words - it resonated inside me and I loved the music!
Granted, this story will not be for everybody, especially with the way it ended - but for my personal taste it couldn't have ended any other way.
And, just so you know, there are many layers underneath this story, which may go to places which will make some people uncomfortable.
Not taking anything away from Mr. McKee - it was a great collaboration.
The world lost a wonderful talent a few months ago, but he will be remembered.
RIP j.K.
What can I say? The man was somewhat brilliant. Imagine being called one of the best writers in the world by the second most recognizable writer name in the world -- it's Stephen King (some trivia I picked up along the way), who has inspired numerous aspiring authors.
You only need to read the introduction in this book to understand that he had a way with words - it resonated inside me and I loved the music!
Granted, this story will not be for everybody, especially with the way it ended - but for my personal taste it couldn't have ended any other way.
And, just so you know, there are many layers underneath this story, which may go to places which will make some people uncomfortable.
Not taking anything away from Mr. McKee - it was a great collaboration.
The world lost a wonderful talent a few months ago, but he will be remembered.
RIP j.K.
April 12, 2013
This was a pleasant surprise from a library, every so often they get new horror in, in this case horror I haven't heard of from Jack Ketchum (a writer extraordinaire whose signature sparse prose and seriously scary real life horrifying scenarios are an absolute must read for anyone who can stomach it) and McKee (film maker responsible for some very interesting and original horror movies and now a writing collaborator), sort of a dream team. Ketchum and McKee have collaborated before on The Woman (book and film), both really messed up in the best possible way, and this book doesn't disappoint either. Since Ketchum seldom writes supernatural horror, this story is one of a seemingly perfect marriage that comes apart at the seams in the most peculiar way. The book consists of the titular novella and a short story sequel that picks up immediately where the novella leaves off and offers the readers a more traditional resolution, since the novella's ending is a doozie. Recommended.
February 12, 2022
This was an enjoyable read. Very unsettling. I was left wanting more though.
June 1, 2013
This successfully made me very uncomfortable. Ketchum and McGee make a helluva team.
May 22, 2022
TW: Infertility, uncomfortable scenes, sex, language, dead parents, sexism, use of the r-word, Mention of c**t, child sexual abuse, rape
*****SPOILERS*****
About the book:Now I'm way beyond confusion.Now I'm scared.I've slid down the rabbit-hole and what's down there is dark and serious. This is not play-acting or some waking bad dream she's having. She's changed, somehow overnight. I don't know how I know this but I sense it as surely as I sense my own skin. This is not Sam, my Sam, wholly sane and firmly balanced. Capable of tying off an artery as neatly as you'd thread a belt through the loops of your jeans.And now I'm shivering too.In some fundamental way she's changed...
Release Date: January 1, 2012
Genre: Horror
Pages: 127
Rating:
What I Liked:
• Jack Ketchum
• Creepy sounding story
What I Didn't Like:
• Uncomfortable moments
• His sexism of her being tight from not having kids to ruin it
• Story is boring
• Tons of grammatical errors
• That ending
• What the story was really about
• Cows don't sleep standing up
Overall Thoughts: Well you certainly tell a man wrote this.
I am seriously stunned at the reviews of this book. It wasn't good. There is just so much wrong with it that I could scream.
I can't tell if this is a book that's about Littles. The creepy part of this book is that she keeps taking off her clothes and he keeps ogling her. I know she's still his wife but she's acting like a child and this is gross. I keep thinking... Is Jack Ketchum into girls that act like children aká Littles. It's just uncomfortable the way he's sexualizing her when she has the mind of a 5-year-old 🤮
It's like the whole time it's a setup to touch her. Now she can't wash her hair so he has to come into the bathroom and do it. Wtf wtf!
You'll also hear about how perfect Sam's body is. From her mole to perky-sized boobs, right down to the dimples on her back one down to her hips. She's just so perfect. She's 38 but she looks 28. She's hot the body of a Goddess.
The word labia is used in this book. Ew.
Yeah because the first thing I would do upon waking up and seeing I've lost 2 weeks' time and my husband is stunned into silence, is to jump in the shower and shave all my body hair off. Gotta be hairless. That's the most important thing here.
What a piece of shit this book is. Like seriously!
It ends with her saying they will work stuff out because she sees the cat getting upset that they are fighting. Let's recap everything that happened here;
1. Rough sex leads to Sam turning into a little girl named Lily, mentally
2. Other than her husband taking her to the doctor and the doctor found nothing psychically wrong with her he decides he isn't going to take her to a suggested therapist.
3. He keeps saying that she is trying to turn him on
4. When the same wakes from being Lily we find out that her husband had "sex" with her while she was mentally a 5-year-old.
5. At first same is bothered that he didn’t get more help for her but that he almost pretty much raped her.
6. We also find out that Sam was molested by her uncle when she was 10.
7. She says it's fine and they will work on it, she will work on her.
Why is she taking the blame for what happened???!?!?! She was the victim and he is just sitting back acting like he was the good guy in all of this.
Final Thoughts: I can't believe they thought this would make a good movie. I don’t think it even makes a good book.
IG | Blog
*****SPOILERS*****
About the book:Now I'm way beyond confusion.Now I'm scared.I've slid down the rabbit-hole and what's down there is dark and serious. This is not play-acting or some waking bad dream she's having. She's changed, somehow overnight. I don't know how I know this but I sense it as surely as I sense my own skin. This is not Sam, my Sam, wholly sane and firmly balanced. Capable of tying off an artery as neatly as you'd thread a belt through the loops of your jeans.And now I'm shivering too.In some fundamental way she's changed...
Release Date: January 1, 2012
Genre: Horror
Pages: 127
Rating:
What I Liked:
• Jack Ketchum
• Creepy sounding story
What I Didn't Like:
• Uncomfortable moments
• His sexism of her being tight from not having kids to ruin it
• Story is boring
• Tons of grammatical errors
• That ending
• What the story was really about
• Cows don't sleep standing up
Overall Thoughts: Well you certainly tell a man wrote this.
I am seriously stunned at the reviews of this book. It wasn't good. There is just so much wrong with it that I could scream.
I can't tell if this is a book that's about Littles. The creepy part of this book is that she keeps taking off her clothes and he keeps ogling her. I know she's still his wife but she's acting like a child and this is gross. I keep thinking... Is Jack Ketchum into girls that act like children aká Littles. It's just uncomfortable the way he's sexualizing her when she has the mind of a 5-year-old 🤮
It's like the whole time it's a setup to touch her. Now she can't wash her hair so he has to come into the bathroom and do it. Wtf wtf!
You'll also hear about how perfect Sam's body is. From her mole to perky-sized boobs, right down to the dimples on her back one down to her hips. She's just so perfect. She's 38 but she looks 28. She's hot the body of a Goddess.
The word labia is used in this book. Ew.
Yeah because the first thing I would do upon waking up and seeing I've lost 2 weeks' time and my husband is stunned into silence, is to jump in the shower and shave all my body hair off. Gotta be hairless. That's the most important thing here.
What a piece of shit this book is. Like seriously!
It ends with her saying they will work stuff out because she sees the cat getting upset that they are fighting. Let's recap everything that happened here;
1. Rough sex leads to Sam turning into a little girl named Lily, mentally
2. Other than her husband taking her to the doctor and the doctor found nothing psychically wrong with her he decides he isn't going to take her to a suggested therapist.
3. He keeps saying that she is trying to turn him on
4. When the same wakes from being Lily we find out that her husband had "sex" with her while she was mentally a 5-year-old.
5. At first same is bothered that he didn’t get more help for her but that he almost pretty much raped her.
6. We also find out that Sam was molested by her uncle when she was 10.
7. She says it's fine and they will work on it, she will work on her.
Why is she taking the blame for what happened???!?!?! She was the victim and he is just sitting back acting like he was the good guy in all of this.
Final Thoughts: I can't believe they thought this would make a good movie. I don’t think it even makes a good book.
IG | Blog
August 8, 2014
I love I'm Not Sam. It's a creepily devastating book about love and marriage.
I usually include the Goodreads description in my reviews but in this book's case I won't because it doesn't really say that much about the its plot. I'll just tell you what this book is about myself.
This book is about a couple, Patrick and Sam, who have been married for eight years. One day Sam wakes up and isn't Sam anymore. She may possess the body of a woman, but she has the mind of a child, and that child's name is Lily.
Even as much as I loved this book, I can't say reading it was particularly enjoyable. It's just so damn dark and sad, and extremely uncomfortable at times. But it's a book I recommend you read, even if you don't usually read books in this genre and even if you aren't a fan of this writer (which I don't really know many people who don't like Jack Ketchum, I mean come on).
4.5 stars to this book that really has the ability to probe the darkest corners of a person's soul.
I usually include the Goodreads description in my reviews but in this book's case I won't because it doesn't really say that much about the its plot. I'll just tell you what this book is about myself.
This book is about a couple, Patrick and Sam, who have been married for eight years. One day Sam wakes up and isn't Sam anymore. She may possess the body of a woman, but she has the mind of a child, and that child's name is Lily.
Even as much as I loved this book, I can't say reading it was particularly enjoyable. It's just so damn dark and sad, and extremely uncomfortable at times. But it's a book I recommend you read, even if you don't usually read books in this genre and even if you aren't a fan of this writer (which I don't really know many people who don't like Jack Ketchum, I mean come on).
4.5 stars to this book that really has the ability to probe the darkest corners of a person's soul.
January 17, 2013
I had to sit on this for a day to determine what I would rate "I'm Not Sam". Like most Ketchum books, they hit you so hard and so fast it takes days to truly appreciate what just happened.
This is quintessential real life horror. No ghosts, no goblins, no murder. Just a simple premise. What if your wife woke up one day and started acting like a child.
Ketchum and Mckee have hit this one out of the park. I finished the book, wanting more, disgusted, conflicted, and feeling dirty. Exactly what I want from these two authors.
This is quintessential real life horror. No ghosts, no goblins, no murder. Just a simple premise. What if your wife woke up one day and started acting like a child.
Ketchum and Mckee have hit this one out of the park. I finished the book, wanting more, disgusted, conflicted, and feeling dirty. Exactly what I want from these two authors.
January 22, 2015
Disturbing. Perfect word to describe what the main character goes through. Perfect word to his wife's reaction at the conclusion. This whole novella was... disturbing.
August 13, 2020
...Ehrlich gesagt fällt es mir schwer für dieses Buch die richtigen Worte zu finden.
Was mich thematisch hier besonders angezogen und neugierig gemacht hat verlief leider doch sehr vorhersehbar und auf den großen Showdown habe ich vergeblich gewartet... ich kann mir auch das Ende irgendwie nicht erklären und muss leider sagen, dass ich wohl in diesem Leben kein Fan von Jack Ketchum werde und hier leider nicht herausfinden konnte, was dieses Buch ausmacht und wo seine Besonderheit liegen soll... 😒
Was mich thematisch hier besonders angezogen und neugierig gemacht hat verlief leider doch sehr vorhersehbar und auf den großen Showdown habe ich vergeblich gewartet... ich kann mir auch das Ende irgendwie nicht erklären und muss leider sagen, dass ich wohl in diesem Leben kein Fan von Jack Ketchum werde und hier leider nicht herausfinden konnte, was dieses Buch ausmacht und wo seine Besonderheit liegen soll... 😒
April 3, 2013
The blurb says enough. It's too easy to ruin this read. The ending was a bitter one for one of the characters. I thoroughly enjoyed this short read.
February 26, 2017
Jack ketchum is one of my favourite Authors and WOW this one was hard-hitting! Powerful stuff.
November 20, 2012
Patrick and Sam have been married for 8 years. He makes his living drawing graphic novels and she is a forensic pathologist.
There is still much love after 8 years together. It shows well in the love-making scenes, handled skillfully by the writers. I'd say the scenes are titillating, without being vulgar.
Everything in the story is going swimmingly, but after another night of passion, things change fast and oh so, not for the better. When they wake up, Sam is no longer herself. After a visit to the Doc, Patrick learns his wife believes she's a child. A child of about 5 or 6.
The circumstances are intriguing and the situation calls for restraint. After all, she still has Sam's body and she's still Patrick's wife.
I found I'm Not Sam to be a totally enjoyable page turner, start to finish. And when you get to the end, there's more. That "more" will turn everything upside down. When all is said and done, I'm still tossing the moral implications around in my mind.
The idea for I'm Not Sam started as a short story that Jack Ketchum and Lucky Mckee wanted to work into a film, but apparently this story had a mind of its own. As a result, it winds up as the written word, a novella that Ketchum and McKee have decided to use as a launching pad for another story which they hope to make into a film. Time will tell.
I'm Not Sam is available in a wide variety of formats from a number of sources. Probably best just to google the title and authors.
There is still much love after 8 years together. It shows well in the love-making scenes, handled skillfully by the writers. I'd say the scenes are titillating, without being vulgar.
Everything in the story is going swimmingly, but after another night of passion, things change fast and oh so, not for the better. When they wake up, Sam is no longer herself. After a visit to the Doc, Patrick learns his wife believes she's a child. A child of about 5 or 6.
The circumstances are intriguing and the situation calls for restraint. After all, she still has Sam's body and she's still Patrick's wife.
I found I'm Not Sam to be a totally enjoyable page turner, start to finish. And when you get to the end, there's more. That "more" will turn everything upside down. When all is said and done, I'm still tossing the moral implications around in my mind.
The idea for I'm Not Sam started as a short story that Jack Ketchum and Lucky Mckee wanted to work into a film, but apparently this story had a mind of its own. As a result, it winds up as the written word, a novella that Ketchum and McKee have decided to use as a launching pad for another story which they hope to make into a film. Time will tell.
I'm Not Sam is available in a wide variety of formats from a number of sources. Probably best just to google the title and authors.
December 8, 2014
The premise of I'M NOT SAM is fascinating: a man awakens one morning to find that his wife has mentally regressed back to her childhood and has no memory of him. She has become a child inhabiting the body of a grown woman.
The authors originally conceived this story as a movie to be directed by Lucky McKee, and it's fun to imagine what a good actress might have done with the role of Sam/Lily. It's the kind of role the Academy Awards were invented for. However, plans for the movie were scrapped when the authors realized they lacked a third act. So don't expect this novella to offer much in the way of an ending.
I'M NOT SAM was very interesting conceptually, but the story progresses exactly as one would expect. There's only one real surprise, and it doesn't come until the very end. The book also seemed a tad underwritten: it didn't have the emotional impact I was expecting, and some of the main character's actions (like why he didn't immediately take Sam to see a therapist) are not as clearly explained as I would have liked. And no explanations are given as to the root cause of Sam's affliction. Fans of Jack Ketchum and Lucky McKee will likely be disappointed at how tame and straight-forward this story is compared to their other literary collaboration, THE WOMAN.
The authors originally conceived this story as a movie to be directed by Lucky McKee, and it's fun to imagine what a good actress might have done with the role of Sam/Lily. It's the kind of role the Academy Awards were invented for. However, plans for the movie were scrapped when the authors realized they lacked a third act. So don't expect this novella to offer much in the way of an ending.
I'M NOT SAM was very interesting conceptually, but the story progresses exactly as one would expect. There's only one real surprise, and it doesn't come until the very end. The book also seemed a tad underwritten: it didn't have the emotional impact I was expecting, and some of the main character's actions (like why he didn't immediately take Sam to see a therapist) are not as clearly explained as I would have liked. And no explanations are given as to the root cause of Sam's affliction. Fans of Jack Ketchum and Lucky McKee will likely be disappointed at how tame and straight-forward this story is compared to their other literary collaboration, THE WOMAN.
November 8, 2013
Ketchum at his darkest. I read this several months ago and forgot to do a review. It is still very much in the front of my mind, though. This is a novella that does take the protagonist right down the rabbit hole into a world that no one should be subjected to. The story centers around the methods he implements to deal with said unfair world, and the consequences. I went into this with no idea what I was about to read, and I think it worked out for the best that I avoided reading any reviews. What a fascinating story. Highly recommended. Just don't expect Off Season here.
December 20, 2022
Boy, this is a hard one to give something as reductive as a star rating too. Pure psychological horror; easily the most uneasy I've felt reading a book in a long time.
I'm going to shakily give it 3.5 stars, with two caveats:
1. This is the sort of novel you could give any star rating too and I'd think, yeah, fair enough.
2. Some of the writing around women in this felt like it stepped slightly past being the point and into being 'Yeah, a guy wrote this'. I was glad most of it justified itself thematically by the end though. One delivered as a gut punch too.
I'm going to shakily give it 3.5 stars, with two caveats:
1. This is the sort of novel you could give any star rating too and I'd think, yeah, fair enough.
2. Some of the writing around women in this felt like it stepped slightly past being the point and into being 'Yeah, a guy wrote this'. I was glad most of it justified itself thematically by the end though. One delivered as a gut punch too.
February 1, 2022
Not a bad short story. As with most, wish there was more lol. Woman sort of loses it for a couple of weeks and thinks she is a child. Defiantly a fun tale for sure. Would love to have had a bit more in the end explaining why and what happened next though.
May 27, 2013
Patrick is passionately in love with his wife, Sam, and she with him. Their life together sounds as close to ideal as it’s possible to get. He’s a cartoonist who works from their home, while she works as forensic pathologist. He cooks. She’s gorgeous. It’s a match made in heaven. On a typical evening, Sam returns from work a bit too fragrant from working on the corpse of a turkey farmer who had a heart attack just before spreading turkey droppings in his field. So she hops into the shower (having already taken one at work, but one isn’t enough for this sort of smell), and Patrick offers to wash her hair. And then he offers to wash everything else. That goes much as one would expect; the sex isn’t just good, it’s great.
But this Bram Stoker Award-nominated novella is about to turn very dark. For when Sam awakens the next morning, she isn’t Sam. She insists she’s Lily, and behaves like a five or six-year-old girl. Patrick has no idea what to do. He takes her to the doctor, and eventually for a brain scan, and she checks out as physically healthy. But Patrick is reluctant to follow through on the doctor’s referral to a psychological therapist, hoping to bring her to herself through his own efforts.
Patrick doesn’t fully appreciate how difficult this will be. The body from whom that young girl’s voice and thoughts are issuing is the body of his beloved wife. The artlessness of a typical child makes it difficult for him to control his sexual impulses; Lily wants him to wash her hair, or to fasten the back of her bathing suit, or even to sleep in his bed when she’s frightened. But he manages. He buys a house full of toys, fixes the unused swingset in the yard, and watches over her when she swims in the river. He even teaches her how to properly pet their old, arthritic cat so that the cat isn’t hurt.
It’s a strange situation, and Patrick’s refusal to take Sam to a therapist is even stranger. It’s not clear what he expects will happen, though he keeps trying to jog her memory. One day, Lily discovers Sam’s clothes and wants to play dress-up. Patrick notices that she chooses Sam’s favorites, and decides to make another attempt to bring her back to herself. What follows from that decision is like a kick to the stomach.
The authors ask that the reader stop there, at the end of the first part of this novella, for at least a few minutes, a few hours, even a few days. Read on to “Who’s Lily?” if you must, they say — your questions might be answered there, but they might not. It’s an odd request to make, perhaps even a little hokey; I did as the authors requested and let half an hour expire before I went on to read the second section, but noted no real difference in my appreciation of the tale as a result. It’s still a shocking take, and there are still no clear-cut rights and wrongs here, no complete solutions. The lingering uncertainty regardless of the passage of time is what makes this story so horrific.
Originally published at http://www.fantasyliterature.com/revi.... 4.5 stars rounded up to 5.
But this Bram Stoker Award-nominated novella is about to turn very dark. For when Sam awakens the next morning, she isn’t Sam. She insists she’s Lily, and behaves like a five or six-year-old girl. Patrick has no idea what to do. He takes her to the doctor, and eventually for a brain scan, and she checks out as physically healthy. But Patrick is reluctant to follow through on the doctor’s referral to a psychological therapist, hoping to bring her to herself through his own efforts.
Patrick doesn’t fully appreciate how difficult this will be. The body from whom that young girl’s voice and thoughts are issuing is the body of his beloved wife. The artlessness of a typical child makes it difficult for him to control his sexual impulses; Lily wants him to wash her hair, or to fasten the back of her bathing suit, or even to sleep in his bed when she’s frightened. But he manages. He buys a house full of toys, fixes the unused swingset in the yard, and watches over her when she swims in the river. He even teaches her how to properly pet their old, arthritic cat so that the cat isn’t hurt.
It’s a strange situation, and Patrick’s refusal to take Sam to a therapist is even stranger. It’s not clear what he expects will happen, though he keeps trying to jog her memory. One day, Lily discovers Sam’s clothes and wants to play dress-up. Patrick notices that she chooses Sam’s favorites, and decides to make another attempt to bring her back to herself. What follows from that decision is like a kick to the stomach.
The authors ask that the reader stop there, at the end of the first part of this novella, for at least a few minutes, a few hours, even a few days. Read on to “Who’s Lily?” if you must, they say — your questions might be answered there, but they might not. It’s an odd request to make, perhaps even a little hokey; I did as the authors requested and let half an hour expire before I went on to read the second section, but noted no real difference in my appreciation of the tale as a result. It’s still a shocking take, and there are still no clear-cut rights and wrongs here, no complete solutions. The lingering uncertainty regardless of the passage of time is what makes this story so horrific.
Originally published at http://www.fantasyliterature.com/revi.... 4.5 stars rounded up to 5.
January 27, 2013
A short novel, from the duo behind THE WOMAN, about a happily married young woman who wakes up in the middle of the night and thinks she's a 6 or 7 year old girl. I think it's gonna be made into a film, cos the bonus story, WHO'S LILLY?, continues and add an awesome gut-punch twist that leaves you breathless, and round the whole story off (just like a film!). A thrilling one-sit read. I would have given it 5 star, but I'm a Ketchum fan and in my opinion he has written better, but it's still very good. Ketchum and Mckee make a great team and I'm sure they'll write more together...
January 14, 2014
Suspense. Psychological thriller. Horror? Not so much. However what is horror, if not what terrifies us to our very soul? If that is your definition of horror, then this one goes all the way. Patrick and Samantha have been married for a bit over eight years. Their marriage is solid, their sex life is great, everything has been going great until Sam one day utters, in a child's voice, "I'm not Sam!" We follow Patrick as he tries to find out what is wrong with his wife and bring her back to him. Truly haunting.
October 23, 2019
There are times when I read a book that makes me feel as if I don't understand humanity. This is one of them. Because i just dont see what everyone else clearly sees. This was not good my dudes, I'm sorry.
December 17, 2016
Not really your typical horror, but a horror real enough to haunt you.
October 11, 2023
Huge thank you to David Dickey for gifting me this book!
.
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Happily married, Patrick thinks life is good when he goes to sleep. But when he wakes up ... everything has changed. His wife, Sam, is no longer Sam. She still looks like her ... but she's ... different.
.
.
Lord ... if this book had come out recently the online discourse would be ... frustrating.
.
.
Written by legendary splatterpunk author Jack Ketchum and underrated horror filmmaker Lucky McKee ... I'M NOT SAM seems like it'd be a gore filled romp into the depraved. Right?
.
.
Well ... this ain't that type of story. Instead, I'M NOT SAM is a complicated drama, steeped in so much darkness that it fits in the horror field even though there's no ghosts, slashers, or monsters hiding under anyone's bed. Instead, the horrors manifest in the form of an undiagnosed mental breakdown ... and a husband who makes decisions for his wife even though he's got no clue what he's doing. I don't want to SPOIL it for folks who haven't read it ... so here's your warning as well as my recommendation. Read I'M NOT SAM. It doesn't have a body count or a bloodbath ... but it gave me some of the deepest chills I've ever experienced while reading a book.
.
.
Seriously though, I love when books don't tell the audience what's right or wrong. I feel some authors are scared of leaving characters in a gray space .. and it's a justifiable fear. With the state of modern literacy, if you don't proclaim in your book that a bad action is bad, some audience members will take that writing as a ringing endorsement from the author. And that's simply not the case with I'M NOT SAM ... which is a book that chooses to leave the reader hanging on a terrible decision. One which alters our perception of whether or not the main character is really the loving husband he's made himself out to be.
.
.
It's complicated, and its implications absolutely SHOULD Leave the reader feeling not only revolted ... but betrayed. We're basically set up the way the wife is. We trust our narrator. He's a nice guy. Sensitive .... caring ... loving. In fact, it brings to mind that oh so common sentiment ... "you don't mean /all/ men are capable of abuse ... riiiiiiiight?"
.
.
Happily married, Patrick thinks life is good when he goes to sleep. But when he wakes up ... everything has changed. His wife, Sam, is no longer Sam. She still looks like her ... but she's ... different.
.
.
Lord ... if this book had come out recently the online discourse would be ... frustrating.
.
.
Written by legendary splatterpunk author Jack Ketchum and underrated horror filmmaker Lucky McKee ... I'M NOT SAM seems like it'd be a gore filled romp into the depraved. Right?
.
.
Well ... this ain't that type of story. Instead, I'M NOT SAM is a complicated drama, steeped in so much darkness that it fits in the horror field even though there's no ghosts, slashers, or monsters hiding under anyone's bed. Instead, the horrors manifest in the form of an undiagnosed mental breakdown ... and a husband who makes decisions for his wife even though he's got no clue what he's doing. I don't want to SPOIL it for folks who haven't read it ... so here's your warning as well as my recommendation. Read I'M NOT SAM. It doesn't have a body count or a bloodbath ... but it gave me some of the deepest chills I've ever experienced while reading a book.
.
.
Seriously though, I love when books don't tell the audience what's right or wrong. I feel some authors are scared of leaving characters in a gray space .. and it's a justifiable fear. With the state of modern literacy, if you don't proclaim in your book that a bad action is bad, some audience members will take that writing as a ringing endorsement from the author. And that's simply not the case with I'M NOT SAM ... which is a book that chooses to leave the reader hanging on a terrible decision. One which alters our perception of whether or not the main character is really the loving husband he's made himself out to be.
.
.
It's complicated, and its implications absolutely SHOULD Leave the reader feeling not only revolted ... but betrayed. We're basically set up the way the wife is. We trust our narrator. He's a nice guy. Sensitive .... caring ... loving. In fact, it brings to mind that oh so common sentiment ... "you don't mean /all/ men are capable of abuse ... riiiiiiiight?"
April 18, 2022
Schon beim Lesen des Titels wusste ich, dass das auf jeden Fall ein Buch für mich sein könnte, da dieser schon auf die Thematik schließen lässt..und so war es dann auch. Das Buch ist sehr spannend und weckt moralische Fragen und interessante Gedanken, über die ich tatsächlich immer noch grüble..
Das Ende hat perfekt zur Geschichte gepasst und mich total abgeholt.
Einen halben Stern wollte ich eigentlich abziehen, da ich eine psychische Thematik nicht gut recherchiert fand.
Gedankenkarusell- ich liebs.
Der halbe Stern kommt wieder dazu- volle 5 Sterne also!
Das Ende hat perfekt zur Geschichte gepasst und mich total abgeholt.
Einen halben Stern wollte ich eigentlich abziehen, da ich eine psychische Thematik nicht gut recherchiert fand.
Gedankenkarusell- ich liebs.
Der halbe Stern kommt wieder dazu- volle 5 Sterne also!
June 5, 2023
This was supposed to be just a 3-star read up until I reached the ending.
UPDATE:
I'm very grateful for chill weekends because that means I get to spend most of the free time reading. The past couple of weeks have been busy for me and the next couple of weeks will be as well! This is the only weekend that I get to spend at home, reading and just enjoying the peace and quiet. So! I made the most of it by juggling three books and I finished this one today.
In this novella, we follow the POV of Patrick, a graphic designer who is very much contented with the life he has. With a stable job that he actually loves, a beautiful wife, Sam, and a house by the river. He could never ask for me. But one night, things started to change and he doesn't even know why or how it happened, but she's not Sam.
This book was pretty enjoyable, and really got me thinking what's really happening in this household and why. While reading this, I am just as confused as Patrick. At some point, I feel like I hurt for Patrick and his longingness for his wife. This was more of a love story than horror for me, to be honest. And I say that in a good way.
This was a good book to read if you're looking for some quick reads to get you by! This was honestly supposed to be a 3 or 3.5-read for me, but turned out to be a 4 because of the ending. ♡
UPDATE:
I'm very grateful for chill weekends because that means I get to spend most of the free time reading. The past couple of weeks have been busy for me and the next couple of weeks will be as well! This is the only weekend that I get to spend at home, reading and just enjoying the peace and quiet. So! I made the most of it by juggling three books and I finished this one today.
In this novella, we follow the POV of Patrick, a graphic designer who is very much contented with the life he has. With a stable job that he actually loves, a beautiful wife, Sam, and a house by the river. He could never ask for me. But one night, things started to change and he doesn't even know why or how it happened, but she's not Sam.
This book was pretty enjoyable, and really got me thinking what's really happening in this household and why. While reading this, I am just as confused as Patrick. At some point, I feel like I hurt for Patrick and his longingness for his wife. This was more of a love story than horror for me, to be honest. And I say that in a good way.
This was a good book to read if you're looking for some quick reads to get you by! This was honestly supposed to be a 3 or 3.5-read for me, but turned out to be a 4 because of the ending. ♡
August 12, 2017
I picked up a hardcover of this book and read it during the evenings this week. A tightly written expose of psychological horror, the book captivates the reader while exploring the ultimate in modern horror, a couple blindsided and their life turned upside down. The authors asked the reader to separate out the two distinct portions of the book, so I followed the request and found it an impressive way to digest the material. I recommend this approach. You could easily read this book in one sitting, but I read it over the course of a few days, letting it sit with me, contemplating the situation, and wondering how I would approach such a dilemma. At times, the reader wonders if a supernatural phenomenon is prickling into Patrick's drawings. Ketchum remains at his best and deals with delicate issues in a tremendous way. This book belongs on the shelf next to the absolute best in psychological horror: Red Dragon, Psycho, and the Girl Next Door.
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