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Albertos #1
Desolate City
This book is no longer valid. Please don't buy this book. I am no longer working on this series.
238 pages, Paperback
First published September 9, 2012
About the author
Racquel Jones
1 book14 followersRacquel Jones has been a Michigander for 22 years now. She has a love for all things fantasy, art and the history behind it and comic book heroes. Since she was able to talk, she told stories to her friends rather it be fan fiction or her own original ideas. Right now, she is looking to one day expand her horizons into writing for comics and owning a branch of unique cafes/bookstores.
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
March 30, 2013
I had a very hard time getting into this book, and am having a really hard time writing this review. Let me start with this, the book isn't bad, if you looked at my Review Policy page you saw that 3 stars means I enjoyed reading the book, but there were issues...and there definitely were issues.
What I liked: The actual idea for the story itself. Racquel has a really good story line, but it lacks polish. If I'm not mistaken, and I could be, this is Racquel's first book. If that is the case, as a first effort she did really well, and I suspect as with most new writers, she will only get better.
What I didn't like: I never connected with the main character. She is annoying, stubborn and not clearly developed. She walks around chanting "no fear, no fear" but she is fearful most of the time. She doesn't respond she reacts like a three year old a good part of the time.
There are so many unanswered questions, that if fleshed out might help you understand why Seiren is the way she is. For example, why does her father actually hate her. I have theories, but nothing concrete. Where is Black Phoenix? I would normally assume this is just a magical world, but there are references to America and other countries that are part of our world, so where is this place?
Many words are misused, and then you have the word Hayden, which you figure out it is a catch phrase for supernatural.
I'm not sure if Racquel has beta readers, if she doesn't I suggest she find a few that are not her BFFs, because this felt like I was reading a draft, something a beta reader would read and send feedback on. They would ask for some clarifications and definitions. They might tell her that Mobile really wasn't necessary in the story, and unless he/she/it is coming up somewhere else - that entire section could be removed.
If she does have beta readers, I would suggest getting one or two more who don't know her well, because clearly the ones she has knows how her brain works well enough to fill in the blanks for themselves. For those of us who do not know her, we are missing some key thought processes.
Would I recommend this book? Yes, as mentioned, the story itself is good. Racquel has a lot of potential and I believe that with each book she will learn more about her craft and improve.
What I liked: The actual idea for the story itself. Racquel has a really good story line, but it lacks polish. If I'm not mistaken, and I could be, this is Racquel's first book. If that is the case, as a first effort she did really well, and I suspect as with most new writers, she will only get better.
What I didn't like: I never connected with the main character. She is annoying, stubborn and not clearly developed. She walks around chanting "no fear, no fear" but she is fearful most of the time. She doesn't respond she reacts like a three year old a good part of the time.
There are so many unanswered questions, that if fleshed out might help you understand why Seiren is the way she is. For example, why does her father actually hate her. I have theories, but nothing concrete. Where is Black Phoenix? I would normally assume this is just a magical world, but there are references to America and other countries that are part of our world, so where is this place?
Many words are misused, and then you have the word Hayden, which you figure out it is a catch phrase for supernatural.
I'm not sure if Racquel has beta readers, if she doesn't I suggest she find a few that are not her BFFs, because this felt like I was reading a draft, something a beta reader would read and send feedback on. They would ask for some clarifications and definitions. They might tell her that Mobile really wasn't necessary in the story, and unless he/she/it is coming up somewhere else - that entire section could be removed.
If she does have beta readers, I would suggest getting one or two more who don't know her well, because clearly the ones she has knows how her brain works well enough to fill in the blanks for themselves. For those of us who do not know her, we are missing some key thought processes.
Would I recommend this book? Yes, as mentioned, the story itself is good. Racquel has a lot of potential and I believe that with each book she will learn more about her craft and improve.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 25, 2013
Seiren's life has never been easy, but it's about to get a lot harder than she ever expected. Being hunted by the Ereshkigal she starts to learn things about herself that she never knew. All she knew her life consisted of was that her father was a dead beat, her mother was dead, and she had to support her father who did nothing to help support her. Working any odd job she could find she went through her life just trying to get by and stay out of the way of the Haydens.
As Seiren runs to save her life she learns that her best friends aren't who she thought them to always be and neither is she. Inside her lies a dark secret that she will deny until the day she dies. She can't be the very thing she hates. Secrets about her mother also come out as she is brought to people who are suppose to help keep her safe. There is nothing safe when it comes to being around Seiren.
You'll get sucked into the secretive world of the Haydens that live in Black Phoenix. Be careful who you trust because they might not turn out to be who you think them to be.
As Seiren runs to save her life she learns that her best friends aren't who she thought them to always be and neither is she. Inside her lies a dark secret that she will deny until the day she dies. She can't be the very thing she hates. Secrets about her mother also come out as she is brought to people who are suppose to help keep her safe. There is nothing safe when it comes to being around Seiren.
You'll get sucked into the secretive world of the Haydens that live in Black Phoenix. Be careful who you trust because they might not turn out to be who you think them to be.
March 15, 2013
Desolate City is more than just a book. The descriptions of everything were extremely vivid. Racquel Jones did an amazing job of pulling me in and capturing my interest in this book. I felt like Seiren, never knowing who to trust. I cannot wait for the next book to come out!!!!!!!!! Oh and fyi Echo is now in my top ten book boyfriends hehehe..
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June 9, 2014This book is no longer valid. Please don't buy it. I'm no longer working on this series.
March 16, 2013
**SPOILERS AHOY!**
I'll start off by saying that this book is a grammatical mess. There are gaps in the plot, one dimensional characters, words being used in the wrong context, typos, exclamation points on literally every page and just - it was too much for a 238 page book.
I wanted to like this book soooo much. But sadly, I didn't like it very much at all. This book started off promising. High school setting, the characters seemed interesting enough, albeit I was only about five pages in. But it didn't stay that way.
Albertos isn't in the USA but Jones never mentions where exactly it is. Whether it's even on Earth or in this universe. It's just kind of there. Which is a no-no. It's necessary for world-building. Especially when you have elements in your book that are Supernatural. That should have been hashed out. Before this was published.
Instead of calling supernatural creatures supernatural creatures, Jones calls them Haydens. I don't understand it. I think it's a really cute effort to be different but it was kinda just...yeah. Calling them Haydens didn't and doesn't make much of a difference because a few characters refer to Haydens as supernatural beings anyway.
There is a fine line between babying your readers and expecting them to be able to read your mind. Which is ANOTHER topic all together. That being said, I don't feel like this book was written with the reader in mind. In the first few chapters the writing takes leaps in logic that the reader is supposed to be able to follow but it doesn't get explained until ten or so pages later. Which was a turn off.
Seiren - which I've been pronouncing like Siren. Pardon me if I'm wrong. - is the MC/Protagonist. She doesn't have much of a voice to me. She just felt like she was there. I didn't get a sense for who she was so much as what she does. She apparently likes to run, scale buildings, work in bars with these creatures she supposedly hates, work at hot dog stands and a few other places just so she can afford her crappy apartment with her sperm donor. But there wasn't much character development at all. For any of the characters. We get a bunch of tell but not nearly enough show. I think Jones intended for Seiren to be a strong, independent sort of MC but I didn't get any of that. It felt like she spent a great deal of the book trying to convince us that Seiren is strong and fearless but in reality, that just didn't come across in the writing.
Seiren is supposed to be 17, a student in high school and we're supposed to believe she can hold down three jobs - enough to pay the bills single-handedly - scale buildings in her free time and maintain her school life.
No. I do not accept that.
Luann, Julius, Echo, Tracie, Cece, Vinul, Kilik, Don, Ereshkigal - I'm pretty sure there were more characters introduced after I stopped reading - There were just entirely too many things going on for such a short book yet not much of what was happening did anything to push the plot along. The plot is a bit thin to begin with, anyway but still. I felt the beginnings of some romance between Echo and Seiren but nothing that made me feel it was genuine between them two. Like, the author added it in as an afterthought.
Ereshkigal is a group of Haydens that no one likes. Just because. No real reason, no one knows their origins, no one knows much of anything but everyone knows that no one gets along with them.
What?
These characters go here, they go there, get a bit of info from so-and-so, Seiren chants "Show no fear" to herself about thirty times, passes out more than any MC I've ever read about and throughout it all, not much of anything was really happening. There were A LOT of unnecessary filler-like events going on throughout the entire book, a lot of things being mentioned that had no impact on the plot and some anti-climactic fight/action scenes. I read up until about 64% and still didn't get a clear sense of what the big-bad was. I could probably guess but I didn't feel inspired to keep reading to find out.
All in all, I don't know if I'd recommend this book to many people because it reads like a rough draft; like the author needs to have some drinks with her girlfriends, hand out copies of the MS and discuss that they did and didn't like and what needs to change/be refined. It's a great first shot, but it's kind of all over the map. And not necessarily in a good way, either. Also, the name of the book is "Desolate City". Nothing in this book - that I've read - even suggests that any part of any city is desolate. Maybe I have to read to the end to understand....*Shrugs*
I'll start off by saying that this book is a grammatical mess. There are gaps in the plot, one dimensional characters, words being used in the wrong context, typos, exclamation points on literally every page and just - it was too much for a 238 page book.
I wanted to like this book soooo much. But sadly, I didn't like it very much at all. This book started off promising. High school setting, the characters seemed interesting enough, albeit I was only about five pages in. But it didn't stay that way.
Albertos isn't in the USA but Jones never mentions where exactly it is. Whether it's even on Earth or in this universe. It's just kind of there. Which is a no-no. It's necessary for world-building. Especially when you have elements in your book that are Supernatural. That should have been hashed out. Before this was published.
Instead of calling supernatural creatures supernatural creatures, Jones calls them Haydens. I don't understand it. I think it's a really cute effort to be different but it was kinda just...yeah. Calling them Haydens didn't and doesn't make much of a difference because a few characters refer to Haydens as supernatural beings anyway.
There is a fine line between babying your readers and expecting them to be able to read your mind. Which is ANOTHER topic all together. That being said, I don't feel like this book was written with the reader in mind. In the first few chapters the writing takes leaps in logic that the reader is supposed to be able to follow but it doesn't get explained until ten or so pages later. Which was a turn off.
Seiren - which I've been pronouncing like Siren. Pardon me if I'm wrong. - is the MC/Protagonist. She doesn't have much of a voice to me. She just felt like she was there. I didn't get a sense for who she was so much as what she does. She apparently likes to run, scale buildings, work in bars with these creatures she supposedly hates, work at hot dog stands and a few other places just so she can afford her crappy apartment with her sperm donor. But there wasn't much character development at all. For any of the characters. We get a bunch of tell but not nearly enough show. I think Jones intended for Seiren to be a strong, independent sort of MC but I didn't get any of that. It felt like she spent a great deal of the book trying to convince us that Seiren is strong and fearless but in reality, that just didn't come across in the writing.
Seiren is supposed to be 17, a student in high school and we're supposed to believe she can hold down three jobs - enough to pay the bills single-handedly - scale buildings in her free time and maintain her school life.
No. I do not accept that.
Luann, Julius, Echo, Tracie, Cece, Vinul, Kilik, Don, Ereshkigal - I'm pretty sure there were more characters introduced after I stopped reading - There were just entirely too many things going on for such a short book yet not much of what was happening did anything to push the plot along. The plot is a bit thin to begin with, anyway but still. I felt the beginnings of some romance between Echo and Seiren but nothing that made me feel it was genuine between them two. Like, the author added it in as an afterthought.
Ereshkigal is a group of Haydens that no one likes. Just because. No real reason, no one knows their origins, no one knows much of anything but everyone knows that no one gets along with them.
What?
These characters go here, they go there, get a bit of info from so-and-so, Seiren chants "Show no fear" to herself about thirty times, passes out more than any MC I've ever read about and throughout it all, not much of anything was really happening. There were A LOT of unnecessary filler-like events going on throughout the entire book, a lot of things being mentioned that had no impact on the plot and some anti-climactic fight/action scenes. I read up until about 64% and still didn't get a clear sense of what the big-bad was. I could probably guess but I didn't feel inspired to keep reading to find out.
All in all, I don't know if I'd recommend this book to many people because it reads like a rough draft; like the author needs to have some drinks with her girlfriends, hand out copies of the MS and discuss that they did and didn't like and what needs to change/be refined. It's a great first shot, but it's kind of all over the map. And not necessarily in a good way, either. Also, the name of the book is "Desolate City". Nothing in this book - that I've read - even suggests that any part of any city is desolate. Maybe I have to read to the end to understand....*Shrugs*
May 12, 2014
I enjoyed the book and premise but it definitely needed more polish.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews