The Thing You Think You Cannot Do: Thirty Truths about Fear and Courage

by Gordon Livingston

What are we afraid of and what can we do about it? Fear--of change, of intimacy, of loss, of the unknown--has become a corrosive influence in modern life, eroding our ability to think clearly. Exploited for power by politicians and for money by the media, it has become embedded in the way we think about our lives. Overcoming our fear, says Gordon Livingston, constitutes the most difficult struggle we face. Dr. Livingston, a psychiatrist, has increasingly found himself prescribing virtues like courage to his patients instead of tranquilizers or antidepressants. Now he tells us all what we need to do to develop personal virtues in the face of societal fear—and our own individual fears. And he does this with the crystalline prose and leavening wit that have made him an internationally bestselling author. As the celebrated novelist Mark Helprin has said of Dr. “To read him is to trust him and to learn, for his life has been touched by fire, and his motives are absolutely pure.”    

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Personal Development, Spirituality, Audiobook

224 pages, Hardcover

First published March 27, 2012

Reviews

[Eli · Rating 3 out of 5]

i think livingston should start categorizing his books under 'politics'

great book, but the nuggets of wisdom are buried under mountains of political tirade, which was not what i was looking for. but if you have the patience to slog thru all the well trodden liberal spiel you can find some great stuff.

[Julia · Rating 1 out of 5]

There ought to be a warning label on this book that reads: "This is not a self-help book. Do not read unless you want to dedicate several hours of your life to knowing every detail about a psychiatrist's disturbing existential crisis." The irony made me laugh out loud several times, but that was the only thing about this dreary book that made me smile. OK, that, and a few jokes in the chapter about humor. I should note that humor was conspicuously absent in all other parts of the book, which made me wish the author could follow his own advise. The only things that kept me reading to the end were morbid curiosity and my own stubbornness to finish books I start.

I am genuinely concerned for people who read this looking for encouragement and sage advice about how to find courage to cope with life's challenges. I am doubly concerned for his patients. In his chapter about how life is meaningless, and how nothing we do really matters, except the bad things we do to make this terrible world even worse, he speculated that only 20% of his patients were better off for knowing him. LMAO!!!! Ya think?

Some other gems of discouragement he passed along were "you have never suffered enough," meaning, just because you were stricken with hardship today doesn't mean something far worse won't happen tomorrow, so don't be so quick to cheer yourself up. Another pillar of demoralization he had to pass along; one day you will die and your life will have been completely irrelevant. Yes, you will live on in the hearts of those who knew you and loved you, but they, too, will die. So, all of us will be dead in every sense of the word in only a brief matter of time. Wow! So encouraging!!!! BTW, I don't buy any of his depression for a moment. I could counter all of his arguments with sound, rational perspectives of my own, but then I would be writing the self help book he was supposed to have written, per the marketing snippets on the back cover.

This book is irresponsible at best, dangerous at worst. Gordon Livingston uses his platform as a psychiatrist to eloquently explain why people who turn to religion or philosophical cliches during difficult times are really just self-deluded morons. He talks about his own personal tragedies and how they somehow prove that God has no plan for us outside of arbitrary cruelty and neglect. I'm truly sorry he feels this way, but why discourage the rest of us who choose to cling to hope in the absence of concrete answers. If you have no evidence either way, it is COURAGEOUS to choose the belief that will bring the most comfort and peace. Dr. Livingston does not have this kind of courage and he wrote an entire book attempting to justify his longstanding anger toward God. Again, his crisis of faith is understandable, but it also makes you a poor candidate to author a book about moral courage. This book was largely a place to air his complaints about politics, the world, and to justify his misery.

One more thing: a little fact checking would have gone a long way. In defending his hypothesis that the world is a heartless, uncaring place where people only look out for themselves, he referenced the Kitty Genovese murder in Queens in the 1960s where hundreds of people reportedly watched a woman get stabbed to death and nobody did anything to help. This story is based on misinformation that has been debunked. http://nypost.com/2014/02/16/book-rev.... In the author's vigilance to prove how much life sucks, he really should have used another example.

My hope for the author is that he finds a way to resolve his anger and learns to be joyful in the knowledge he has a loving wife and two children (who are very much alive) and I hope it brings him comfort to know he has led a full and meaningful life, even though he wrote the worst self help book in the history of time.

[Kitti Boesel · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book had the potential to be helpful and enlightening. Regrettably, the author has chosen instead to use it a platform for his politics. From the first page, you know exactly how this author feels about the current state of politics in our country and the rest of the world. This book could have been well done without all the politics. In fact, it is through his politics that he actually demonstrates the politics of fear-mongering. Waste of a tree and a waste of time.

[Nick Hackworth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great concepts, even though there were a lot of instances of political stance. The ideas he brought in the book were helpful but the points he related them to seemed one sided or more of an opinion. Still… great read

[AngelofNoMercy · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was not what I expected. I thought it would be more inspirational. I thought it would be more helpful. I thought it would focus more on courage and less on fear. (I know they are related). I thought it would focus more on psychology and less on war and politics. There is some wisdom here. There are some interesting anecdotes and facts. There is also self-indulgence and pretentiousness and opinions presented as facts. Examples of self-indulgence include a chapter that consists entirely of two letters that the author wrote to his birth parents. No explanation. Are the readers supposed to assume that these are shining examples of courage? There is another chapter that reprints an editorial the author wrote after a space shuttle explosion where he goes off about terrorism. I appreciate the author's perspective. I appreciate the small section where he made an effort to define courage. He makes good points about war and politics and how fear is affecting them. However, I think he would have been much better off writing a book about fear in war and politics (since this is clearly where his interest lies) rather than something that misrepresents itself as a self-help book on the overall topic of courage. I'm not sure this book would help anyone be more courageous. It might help someone be a little more aware, and maybe in attempting to fight the Bystander Effect that would be enough. I'm not sure that is a reasonable leap, though.

[Tim · Rating 2 out of 5]

I finished it but there were times I went into skim-mode. The author sometimes uses some straw man arguments. Sometimes makes very vague allusions that aren't supported. Sometimes states things as facts that just aren't more than his impression or point of view. And then there is the political undercurrent. These kinds of things I glossed over. They are of no value, at least in regard to the subject the book is arguably about.

However, there are some interesting and worthwhile ideas presented, if you hang in there and locate them. More than once I almost gave up. The last time I realized I was near the end of the book and might as well just finish it out. In that regard, the book's shortness was an asset.

Overall, I planned up until the end to not rate this book at all. To just mark it read, but then I thought - the whole point of Goodreads is to give other readers a heads-up they can use to decide where to invest their limited reading time versus the near infinite landscape of books to choose from. Based on that, two stars. There has to be a better investment of your time for this subject matter.

[Burak · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book should be titled "Thirty Cynical Opinions about Fear and Courage". For a self-help book there was very little that the author provides in practical methods to increase courage and reduce fear. Livingston promotes the idea that we should live in a pluralistic society, yet at every opportunity he gets he bashes religion and promotes scientific and evolutionary discourse. An element of faith is the strength it gives you to confront your fears and provides the courage that is required to overcome obstacles and barriers in life. By not acknowledging this Livingston has excluded the faith-based majorities around the world from his definition of 'courageous'.

[Donna Parker · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't find this overly helpful. A lot of it seemed trite and like I had heard and/or read it many times before. No really concrete methods to help with fear.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the audio book and it is profound and awesome.

Gordon, a Vietnam Army veteran, a physician, an adopted child, a parent who has an adopted child, and a parent who lost his 6 year old biological son to leukemia has an interesting and sometimes contrarian view on life and the world that really made me think. I agree with some things and disagree with others.

The book is mostly about overcoming our fears and anxieties. Instead of asking why me ask why not me and how will I continue in life as long as you have a choice you can continue.

The book is laced with challenges to some cliches like, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, and someone who has passed is in a better place as uttered as comfort by others to someone who has lost a loved one.

I truly enjoyed this book and I highly recommend it.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were a few quotables that I highlighted. But this author is steeped in über academia. Extremely pedantic in his views, he puts extra starch in his opinions and loves pointing out how ignorant we are as a society, holding himself up as a light to guide us out of our self inflicted darkness.
Between that and his liberal extremist political propagandizing this was hard to slog through, to find the little hidden nuggets of actual wisdom.
I don't recommend it!

[Jacqui Schischka · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was a real let down for me. I was looking for something that helped explain or define courage in a way that I could apply to my own life and risk taking. Instead there were a lot of general observations and way too many about the Vietnam war. This war obviously affected the author but it wasn't something (or written in a way) that was insightful for me personally.

[Rik Schnabel · Rating 3 out of 5]

While Gordon is a colourful writer, much of it seemed like he was trying too hard to impress.

The subtitle; "Thirty Truths about Fear and Courage" I felt was undersupplied and while it was a nice read, if you are looking for some courageous 'hows' then you won't find much in this book.

In summary; the books title and subtitle (while clever) did not deliver.

[Satid · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the third book of the author that I have read and it is still full of critical realistic thinking about life that only readers who suffered severe mental life events before could appreciate. Those fortunate ones who never encounter any such suffering mishap of life would find this book too mentally heavy to digest. But I see that great curiosity about life in general would be the best approach to fruitfully digesting all of this author's books with accumulating insights. There are plenty lessons about understanding the true way of living healthy collective life in reading this author's books.

One surprise for me is the author's description about human behavior of the sinister kind that reminds me of Trumpie and many republicans I know from foreign news, and the author wrote this in 2012! Human vice has never changed since the fist society we ever had.

One sad fact is that I agree with the author's view that, since the shameful ending of Vietnam war for USA, US politicians and hard-core people never learned that ALL subsequent wars they supported have been for lost cause, if not in total vain. It reminds me of the book Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions. Humankind will still repeat its follies until the last one alive if we fail to collectively distribute equality and justice to all. The only consolation is that not all of us are this vulnerable, but then we know for a fact that rational people almost always suffer from behaviors of those irrational ones directly or indirectly - look at all lamentable happenings that are the result of pollution and climate change. The author keeps repeating his one important credo that "We are all in it together" but the Trumpie (and Muskie) kind do not care - as one chapter name says it all: Ignorance can be remedied; Stupidity has no cure. The looming heavy question is what do we do with these stupid ones, many of whom are powerful and famous.

Readers who agree with the author that fear is one factor at the root of our chaotic societies and wonder what the remedy is, I would suggest reading about mindfulness and practice it as one true solution.

[Mia Huynh · Rating 2 out of 5]

“We are not what we say, or how we feel, or what we think. We are what we do. Fear is both a noun and a verb, an emotion and a way of engaging (or not engaging) those around us. Courage is manifest by action; it is habitual and the only nonpharmacologic antidote to the apprehension that is inevitable in an uncertain and often dangerous world.”

The Thing You Think You Cannot Do by Gordon Livingston is (supposedly) a book centered around common fears that many people face, and how we can utilize courage to overcome those fears and develop our own personal virtues. He investigates fears of dying, change, intimacy, loss, failure, success, inadequacy, time, loneliness, the unknown, and more at the individual and societal level. At the basis of his argument, Livingston underlines how “the philosophies we admire and adopt individually find inevitable expression in our choice of leaders” and thus, in his discussion of fear and courage, you find many political overtones.

Although I glanced over it at the beginning, I should have recognized how much political overtones his discussion would have throughout the book. As many other reviews have noted, rather than being a self-help book, it was largely a discussion of his own political beliefs and opinions. I wish there was more advice to address the fears that we commonly face, how to find courage and make it a habit, and how to find humor and regain our ability to laugh after devastating events. Overall, I would not recommend this book as a self-help book. However, if you are interested in listening to his political opinions on how society and people are lead by the fear manufactured by those in power, then it might be an interesting read.

[Adrienne · Rating 1 out of 5]

didn't even finish. Same issues as many of the other reviewers: gross generalizations about all types of people, political statements with very little evidence to support them. a lot more about fear than anything else, and, annoyingly, really off topic. It was unclear to me how the bulk of each section related at all to the title of the chapter - did no one ask him to edit his rantings and ramblings? don't waste your time.

[Simon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Didn't finish this one. I loved his other book, too soon old, too late young - that was packed with wisdom. This book followed the same 30 lessons format but I felt it was too heavily related to American politics or the war. Found it harder to digest. Still a great write and thinker, but this book didn't do it for me.

[X · Rating 1 out of 5]

2020 edit: I listened to this book as an audiobook years ago now, and only 2 details come to mind when I think of it - the ending was anti-climatic, (so much so that I cannot precisely recall what the ending *was*) and that I was frustrated and perturbed by the lack of information the author gave about the life and death of his adopted son. I just felt that it left a strange hole in the story.

[Komi · Rating 1 out of 5]

Like everyone stated the title of the book and what you hear or read don't match up. I saw the negative reviews and I ignored them because sometimes you want to read or hear stories on your own so you can decide on your own. I was so wrong..I guess from now on I'll have to read Goodreads reviews that don't have spoilers and kind of go from there!

[Josh Clement · Rating 3 out of 5]

The few insights about courage are hard to find with all the axe grinding going on here.

- fear restricts freedom. Recognising we have the freedom to choose is a hallmark of mental health
- courage is required to counter fear
- courage is tricky to define. Is it about risk? Is it about benefit to others? Maybe rock climbing isn’t brave if no one else stands to benefit.

[Tony Balfour · Rating 4 out of 5]

Did the people who gave this 1 star actually read the book? It's hard to imagine. Sure the author has the occasional "soapbox" but more often deep and easy to digest wisdom.

In a world of 300 page books that should have been 10 page essays, this one stands out as succinct and thought provoking.

[Abbie Hoeger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Favorite book of all time, he shares a lot of philosophy and wisdom

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another amazing book by Gordon Livingston that makes you look inside yourself and strips humanity down to the basic truths we often forget in this fast-paced world of ours

[Phoebe Scarborough · Rating 2 out of 5]

He needs to go to therapy instead of trauma dumping into a book disguised as a self help book.

[Aaron Lindahl · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you would like to read an emotionally jarring recap of a psychologists mental state in the early 2000s with America's failure super imposed have at it.

[Jimmy Quintana · Rating 1 out of 5]

He has a huge problem with wars, billionaires, religion. Book trailed off constantly into weird metaphors with zero correlation to original point

[Pimuireads · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are some quotes that are memorable and note-worthy. However, don't expect this book to be some sort of self-help; it is rather a collection of the author's experiences. Although it was a good read in general, I was confused at times as to how the content relates to the title of the chapter. The flow could be better.

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are a number of excellent points that the author writes about that have stood out. He talks about fear and how fear does not allow people to make good decisions and how courage brings about changes. Throughout the book, the author makes comparisons with American society and gives specific examples how in society fear has become a powerful tool for politicians and a small group of people to achieve their own agenda. One example is him describing 9/11 as a national anxiety attack. He points out that by declaring war, the Americans became just like the small group of extremists - angry, intolerant, ethnocentric and willing to use violence to promote their ideology. He discusses how conflict is more interesting that negotiation by pointing out how much violence is used in entertainment (movies, etc). He discusses the danger of electing stupid or arrogant politicians and points out that any sentence that a politician begin with: "The American people think, etc. is followed by the speakers own thoughts and desires. He points out that in a capitalistic system the ones who get the most material rewards are not the people who dedicate their life to the benefit of others but rather those who are the most selfish. Although he makes comparisons to American society, his ideas can be applied to all countries where fear is used as a tool by politician and even in the workplace by supervisors/bosses to achieve their goals. What is important is courage to overcome fear.

[VSY · Rating 5 out of 5]

The early chapters of this book put me in a dark place - taking no prisoners with its crippling critique of much of what we take for granted. My mood changed, though, when later chapters built a vision for how we can understand and give meaning to our lives, as individuals and as a community.

Gordon Livingstone has been through a lot, but he’s not bitter. Instead, he’s learnt what matters and what doesn’t, and that is what this book is about. He challenges us to live a life that matters, with courage, and provides some of the tools we need to achieve this.

This is not (just)a ‘self-help’ book; entire nations (in particular, the United States) are carefully scrutinised and found wanting. Livingstone shows, convincingly, that self-delusion at the individual level filters up to create collective self-delusion. (There are echoes of Freud here – after all, Livingstone is a psychiatrist.) This is not very comfortable – the truth can hurt. Yet, just as he did for our personal self-delusion, Livingstone offers hope at the collective level for a more just, compassionate and rational society.

I think I can be more courageous after reading this book.

[David Nelson · Rating 2 out of 5]

f you're looking for an uplifting and encouraging, inspiring book...this isn't it.
I finished it but while I found some interesting and very good points in this book, it did not live up to the title. The author has some very clear biases from the first page, you know exactly how this author feels about the current state of politics in our country and the rest of the world. This book could have been well done without all the politics. Livingston’s book does tend to meander. At times, he strays a little too far off the trail with personal stories and examples. For instance, in a chapter titled “Sometimes Courage Is Hope Against Hope,” he lifts a chunk out of a young woman’s diary during her difficult battle with a fatal, autoimmune disease. He prefaces the eight pages of quoted material by telling us a little about Allison Caldwell and her passion for life. While the young woman’s story is moving and and her generosity is astounding, Livingston doesn’t elaborate on how Caldwell’s story supports his overall theme making it of no value, at least in regard to the subject the book is arguably about.

[Andrés Medina López · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think the title of this book is inaccurate as it make me think it is a self-help book when in fact its about politics, war and courage. This book indeed contains thirty truths about fear and courage but only in the chapter title because content is not related with it's title most of the times. Apart from this, this is a good read as it exposes the author's point of view on various topics that leave a mark on his life.

/

Creo que el título de este libro es inexacto porque hace pensar que es un libro de autoayuda cuando en realidad es acerca de política, guerra y valor. Este libro sí contiene treinta verdades acerca del miedo y el valor, pero solo en los títulos de los capítulos porque la mayoría de las veces el contenido no está relacionado con su título. Fuera de eso, esta es una buena lectura puesto que expone el punto de vista del autor en varios temas que dejaron una marca en su vida.