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Deep Desires
The Further She Goes, the More She Needs ...
Abbie Gough has done her best to escape a violent past. But in the process, she’s avoided life, desire and love. So when she sees her equally closed off neighbour, Ivan, performing for her one night through his window, she can’t stop looking.
Voyeuristic pleasures become Abbie’s lifeline. But as she comes alive and craves more, Ivan backs away. He has his own secrets , the kind that draw her into kinky games and her own shameful desires, while also preventing real intimacy between them.
But now she’s found someone so special, she’s not about to give up easily. And she’s willing to do whatever it takes to melt Ivan’s cool exterior. Even if captivating him means pushing through her limits to whatever lies beyond.
Abbie Gough has done her best to escape a violent past. But in the process, she’s avoided life, desire and love. So when she sees her equally closed off neighbour, Ivan, performing for her one night through his window, she can’t stop looking.
Voyeuristic pleasures become Abbie’s lifeline. But as she comes alive and craves more, Ivan backs away. He has his own secrets , the kind that draw her into kinky games and her own shameful desires, while also preventing real intimacy between them.
But now she’s found someone so special, she’s not about to give up easily. And she’s willing to do whatever it takes to melt Ivan’s cool exterior. Even if captivating him means pushing through her limits to whatever lies beyond.
101 pages, ebook
First published September 27, 2012
75 people are currently reading
2273 people want to read
About the author
Charlotte Stein
116 books2,115 followersCharlotte Stein is the RT and DABWAHA nominated author of over fifty short stories, novellas and novels. When not writing deeply emotional and intensely sexy books, she can be found eating jelly turtles, watching terrible sitcoms and occasionally lusting after hunks. For more on Charlotte, visit: www.charlottestein.net
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 229 reviews
November 10, 2012
Full review finally posted!
4 to 4 1/2 stars
Loved it! I'm surprised by how much I enjoyed reading this book. In fact, I stayed up all night to finish it. I'm not a fan of excessive narrative, and this book overflows with it, but the way the plot was constructed made it work for me. Big time!
Deep Desires is a slightly dark, intriguing and highly erotic novella. I found myself completely immersed in the provocative plot, which reminded me of the movie Rear Window, and fascinated by the two main characters, Abbie and Ivan. For me, this book's main draw was not the eroticism–I found myself skimming some of the sex scenes to get back to the plot–but the abundance of character study. Oh, how these two characters intrigued me. I couldn't seem to get enough Abbie and Ivan's tangible, complex, damaged, and charming personas.
I highly recommend this book to those looking for a slightly dark, mysterious, and well written erotic novella that's inundated with powerful characterization, an intriguing plot and sizzling steam.
4 to 4 1/2 stars
Loved it! I'm surprised by how much I enjoyed reading this book. In fact, I stayed up all night to finish it. I'm not a fan of excessive narrative, and this book overflows with it, but the way the plot was constructed made it work for me. Big time!
Deep Desires is a slightly dark, intriguing and highly erotic novella. I found myself completely immersed in the provocative plot, which reminded me of the movie Rear Window, and fascinated by the two main characters, Abbie and Ivan. For me, this book's main draw was not the eroticism–I found myself skimming some of the sex scenes to get back to the plot–but the abundance of character study. Oh, how these two characters intrigued me. I couldn't seem to get enough Abbie and Ivan's tangible, complex, damaged, and charming personas.
I highly recommend this book to those looking for a slightly dark, mysterious, and well written erotic novella that's inundated with powerful characterization, an intriguing plot and sizzling steam.
August 8, 2017
◆ Singular POV
◆ Minor editing issues
◆ A bit raunchy
◆ M/M-reader friendly
I liked some parts of this story. But the other parts? Not at all.
◆ Minor editing issues
◆ A bit raunchy
◆ M/M-reader friendly
I liked some parts of this story. But the other parts? Not at all.
September 27, 2012
Deep Desires immediately had me feeling like I was in an XXX rated version of Alfred Hitchcock's, Rear Window. It's dark, fantastically gripping in first person, and I was riveted to each page anticipating where Charlotte Stein would lead. I was totally captivated by the first page with two wounded individuals that have lost the ability to feel any form of individual pleasure. Ivan and Abbie are fantastically flawed individuals that ultimately find healing with each other in such a provocative and unusual way.
"I moan for him, oh God, I moan for him, I know I’m not dead at all. I’m alive, more alive than I’ve ever been, and it’s at least in part because of him. And I think he knows it. I think that’s what he’s aiming for, because, when I finally come around and gaze down at him through the glass, he doesn’t look obsessed with his own pleasure or ready to take his turn."
"His gaze is full of triumph, burning bright through that veil over his eyes."
"Triumph, simply because he made someone else feel this good."
"God, I want to tell him how weird and wonderful that really is.”
Charlotte Stein never ceases to amaze me with what comes out of her head and onto the page. Stein weaves such a dark, riveting, metaphoric, thought provoking story with each book she pens. Her elegantly filthy voice is like slathering butter over hot baked bread just out of the oven. You are ravenous for it, gorge yourself with it and continue to be glutinous for more. Seriously there is no comparison. Stein to my reading is like my never ending desire for carbs. The difference is, I'm not gaining weight when I open the pages and engross myself in her goodness.
"I’d be frustrated by his evasion if I didn’t love how much he wants to know about me and my responses. Not his. Mine. My pleasure, my desire, the things that turn me on. I swear this wouldn’t be half as easy as it is if I didn’t feel so valued."
I'm not giving away the plot because that is the magic and grit of the story; how it all erotically unravels. I'm dying for more of Ivan and Abbie. I feel like the end of their story is only a road to their beginning and I crave more, demand more of this amazing couple. (Hear me Charlotte!) Seriously, readers looking for beyond the typical erotic romance must pick up Deep Desires. Stein has a class all to herself that is nothing short of brilliant. It’s a masterful journey no romance reader should miss.
Favorite Quote:
"Oh God—accountability. Is there anything sexier on a man? Actual apologies. I could drown in him, I could."
September 27, 2012
I think Charlotte Stein has one of the best voices in erotic romance. I always find her heroines so intriguing, so sexually curious, teasing and flirty, and many times they take the reins and show the hero what can be between them.
This book is darker though and I really like it. Abbie works as a grocery store clerk and lives in an apartment building called The Courtyard. She wears big frumpy clothes as she hides her body with low self esteem which resulted from a previous physically abusive relationship. As she looks out her window late one night, which overlooks a courtyard, she can see into one of her neighbor’s apartment windows. This night, his apartment is all lit up, and what she sees makes her take pause. She knows nothing about her neighbor, he is actually so mysterious some of her neighbors have nicknamed him The Serial Killer. No one knows where he works or what he does. When Abbie sees him undressing and then masturbating, she can’t pull herself away from the window. What lies beneath his usual heavy wardrobe is a body that turns her on like nothing else. What she watches this night affects Abbie, and she can’t get it out of her mind the next day.
I see him in the hallway getting his mail, but shamefully pretend I don’t. I go as far as to pretend we’re actually strangers, and have never so much as exchanged a nod of the head. Instead of the truth, which is still utmost in my mind:
I watched you masturbate last night.
I think the words at his back, as he turns and begins to sift through whatever letters he’s received. Probably bills, I’m sure. Maybe a leaflet from a charity he donates to. Possibly a subscription to a really innocent and normal magazine.
Like Horny Voyeurs Monthly.
Because that’s what I am, isn’t it?
Abbie develops this secret fantasy about him, peeking out her window each night to see if he is back. It takes seven days, but all of a sudden there he is. But this time, he is staring at her window and then she notices he has written on his window, ‘Your turn now.’ All of a sudden, Abbie’s world tilts. This is not just a little fantasy, but she becomes a player in this odd relationship that develops. Abbie’s life is so dull and boring, and now she has something exciting. She is recovering from an abusive physical relationship, and this relationship starts safe for her. And even though they haven’t spoken and their sexual activities take place through a window, Abbie gains some self confidence back, the confidence her previous abusive lover takes away from her. This leads me to one of my favorite scenes of the book as again they are ‘playing’ through their windows:
But I’m not quite there, until he reaches a hand up, suddenly, in the light from the middle of The Courtyard and clear enough for me to see.
And then he does something I recognize immediately:
He strokes over the shape of my body through the glass.
Of course I try to pretend otherwise at first. All the old issues take over, and I’m left imagining that he means something else. It can’t be my body he’s outlinig, like that, so reverently, so slowly and softly. No one would want to touch me like that, and even if they did…that isn’t my shape. That subtle curve at my hip, the fullness of my breasts….how can he even tell that I look like that beneath this shapeless gown?
And this is what I love about this book. The first half is them peering out a window at each other, doing dirty, dirty things. Soon Abbie finds his mailbox and discovers his name is Ivan Orlinsky.I basically start to adore Ivan before he even speaks. He gets bold though. He sends Abbie a sexual gift, something she has to wear around, and what he does to her is so naughty! I’m going to make you read it to find out exactly what it is but I love what he does. We also start to learn about Ivan. They start to speak on the phone. You learn he has OCD tendencies. He does the same thing every week. He has trouble leaving his apartment. You start to get the feeling something very bad has happened to him. There is a moment where Abbie knocks on his door, and he just can’t bring himself to open it. In a book that is so dirty and sexy, there are these very dark, heartbreaking moments, that just make me fall in love with these characters even more,
Eventually Abbie does get in that door, and ever so slowly, she works on breaking down these solid barriers Ivan has put up. He is in so much pain, and I really adore how Abbie treats him so well. He recognizes she has pain in her past too and together they both try to find their way out of the darkness, knowing there is something so good to be found, if only they can make that leap together.
This book is only a novella and oh how I wish we would have had more pages to discover these two together. We really skim the surface of their relationship. There is so much pain and baggage, that I wanted to see how these two will get a long months into their relationship. While they get over the initial feelings of trust, there is so much more road to travel. There is also a big dramatic moment towards the end that felt rushed. They are both such complicated character I want 300 more pages of them figuring things out.
I still completely recommend this novella. It is not only extremely erotic, but dark and wicked. She works in very sexy moments, with some heartbreaking ones too. Well done.
Rating: B+
This book is darker though and I really like it. Abbie works as a grocery store clerk and lives in an apartment building called The Courtyard. She wears big frumpy clothes as she hides her body with low self esteem which resulted from a previous physically abusive relationship. As she looks out her window late one night, which overlooks a courtyard, she can see into one of her neighbor’s apartment windows. This night, his apartment is all lit up, and what she sees makes her take pause. She knows nothing about her neighbor, he is actually so mysterious some of her neighbors have nicknamed him The Serial Killer. No one knows where he works or what he does. When Abbie sees him undressing and then masturbating, she can’t pull herself away from the window. What lies beneath his usual heavy wardrobe is a body that turns her on like nothing else. What she watches this night affects Abbie, and she can’t get it out of her mind the next day.
I see him in the hallway getting his mail, but shamefully pretend I don’t. I go as far as to pretend we’re actually strangers, and have never so much as exchanged a nod of the head. Instead of the truth, which is still utmost in my mind:
I watched you masturbate last night.
I think the words at his back, as he turns and begins to sift through whatever letters he’s received. Probably bills, I’m sure. Maybe a leaflet from a charity he donates to. Possibly a subscription to a really innocent and normal magazine.
Like Horny Voyeurs Monthly.
Because that’s what I am, isn’t it?
Abbie develops this secret fantasy about him, peeking out her window each night to see if he is back. It takes seven days, but all of a sudden there he is. But this time, he is staring at her window and then she notices he has written on his window, ‘Your turn now.’ All of a sudden, Abbie’s world tilts. This is not just a little fantasy, but she becomes a player in this odd relationship that develops. Abbie’s life is so dull and boring, and now she has something exciting. She is recovering from an abusive physical relationship, and this relationship starts safe for her. And even though they haven’t spoken and their sexual activities take place through a window, Abbie gains some self confidence back, the confidence her previous abusive lover takes away from her. This leads me to one of my favorite scenes of the book as again they are ‘playing’ through their windows:
But I’m not quite there, until he reaches a hand up, suddenly, in the light from the middle of The Courtyard and clear enough for me to see.
And then he does something I recognize immediately:
He strokes over the shape of my body through the glass.
Of course I try to pretend otherwise at first. All the old issues take over, and I’m left imagining that he means something else. It can’t be my body he’s outlinig, like that, so reverently, so slowly and softly. No one would want to touch me like that, and even if they did…that isn’t my shape. That subtle curve at my hip, the fullness of my breasts….how can he even tell that I look like that beneath this shapeless gown?
And this is what I love about this book. The first half is them peering out a window at each other, doing dirty, dirty things. Soon Abbie finds his mailbox and discovers his name is Ivan Orlinsky.I basically start to adore Ivan before he even speaks. He gets bold though. He sends Abbie a sexual gift, something she has to wear around, and what he does to her is so naughty! I’m going to make you read it to find out exactly what it is but I love what he does. We also start to learn about Ivan. They start to speak on the phone. You learn he has OCD tendencies. He does the same thing every week. He has trouble leaving his apartment. You start to get the feeling something very bad has happened to him. There is a moment where Abbie knocks on his door, and he just can’t bring himself to open it. In a book that is so dirty and sexy, there are these very dark, heartbreaking moments, that just make me fall in love with these characters even more,
Eventually Abbie does get in that door, and ever so slowly, she works on breaking down these solid barriers Ivan has put up. He is in so much pain, and I really adore how Abbie treats him so well. He recognizes she has pain in her past too and together they both try to find their way out of the darkness, knowing there is something so good to be found, if only they can make that leap together.
This book is only a novella and oh how I wish we would have had more pages to discover these two together. We really skim the surface of their relationship. There is so much pain and baggage, that I wanted to see how these two will get a long months into their relationship. While they get over the initial feelings of trust, there is so much more road to travel. There is also a big dramatic moment towards the end that felt rushed. They are both such complicated character I want 300 more pages of them figuring things out.
I still completely recommend this novella. It is not only extremely erotic, but dark and wicked. She works in very sexy moments, with some heartbreaking ones too. Well done.
Rating: B+
January 9, 2013
"Listen to me: the bird has gone now. it flew away when you weren't looking, I swear." It's like he's reaching through the phone-just as he did through the glass-to stroke a hand over my back."Go to sleep now, Abbie. I'll go to sleep with you, and dream my blackbird is gone, too. You looked up at me, and it went away. For a little while, I swear, it went away."
I LOVE IT!!!
Its so Amazing when there's a plot in a story that just grab you in it and won't let go!
this book is not made just for the part that it is erotica, No...I swear Abbie and Ivan gets into your skin and cry for them, how vulnerable they are before and help each other through their demons and mend to each other.
from voyeurism to sex toys gifts to phone sex to finally they've touch, soft sweet tender touch...inviting it's so intimate, the romance, the relationship builiding up.
what's not to love. just purrrrfect.
you'll gonna see the "ohhhhh" word all over the place:)
I think Flynn from 'Willing victim' had been step down as the best dirty talker on my list...Ivan gets the top notch with his smooth talking Russian accent...yes smooth,'cause I'm sure he sounds like that.
you'll be surprised how powerful their dark side is,how their emotions affects you, that when you get to the climax part you're gonna cry on what happened to Ivan on why he's so meticulous and ordered in his life and why Abbie is so messed up like everything that surrounds her is a whole messed.
they both reflect to each other on opposite side that no one wants to be touch or look in the eyes at first but when they both break their barriers and start to trust and erase the blackbird on their lives...you'll be happy for them.
I love how they say their names to each other,
My Abbie,
My Ivan,
My one
I wish there's sequel just like what reviewers were talking or an epilogue, I want to scream in the end...Epilogue please please please.. just like the Author's book 'Sheltered' that needs a sequel too or an Epilogue...I need more than thinking on it...
Ms. Charlotte Stein is one amazing Author who has superb skills in graphically written erotica scenes with emotions. I'm beginning to think she and Ms. Cara Mckenna are conniving on not writing epilogues on their fantastic books:)
Snippet on the scenes:
"God, I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it."
I don't even know what doing it means.
and apparently, neither does he.
"Doing what?" he asks, in between kisses.
.
.
.
"Orgasm,"I say. "I'm having an Orgasm."
I LOVE IT!!!
Its so Amazing when there's a plot in a story that just grab you in it and won't let go!
this book is not made just for the part that it is erotica, No...I swear Abbie and Ivan gets into your skin and cry for them, how vulnerable they are before and help each other through their demons and mend to each other.
from voyeurism to sex toys gifts to phone sex to finally they've touch, soft sweet tender touch...inviting it's so intimate, the romance, the relationship builiding up.
what's not to love. just purrrrfect.
you'll gonna see the "ohhhhh" word all over the place:)
I think Flynn from 'Willing victim' had been step down as the best dirty talker on my list...Ivan gets the top notch with his smooth talking Russian accent...yes smooth,'cause I'm sure he sounds like that.
you'll be surprised how powerful their dark side is,how their emotions affects you, that when you get to the climax part you're gonna cry on what happened to Ivan on why he's so meticulous and ordered in his life and why Abbie is so messed up like everything that surrounds her is a whole messed.
they both reflect to each other on opposite side that no one wants to be touch or look in the eyes at first but when they both break their barriers and start to trust and erase the blackbird on their lives...you'll be happy for them.
I love how they say their names to each other,
My Abbie,
My Ivan,
My one
I wish there's sequel just like what reviewers were talking or an epilogue, I want to scream in the end...Epilogue please please please.. just like the Author's book 'Sheltered' that needs a sequel too or an Epilogue...I need more than thinking on it...
Ms. Charlotte Stein is one amazing Author who has superb skills in graphically written erotica scenes with emotions. I'm beginning to think she and Ms. Cara Mckenna are conniving on not writing epilogues on their fantastic books:)
Snippet on the scenes:
"God, I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it."
I don't even know what doing it means.
and apparently, neither does he.
"Doing what?" he asks, in between kisses.
.
.
.
"Orgasm,"I say. "I'm having an Orgasm."
September 27, 2012
4.5 stars
I'll be honest: I'm a little mixed up inside as I'm trying to write an eloquent review of this book. What I really want to do is reread it (and I'm going to), but I also want to get this review out so others can run to read.
What is it about Charlotte's words that are so utterly captivating? That just pull the reader in, make them take notice? She writes in such a deep POV that it's nearly impossible not to feel every ounce of what the heroine does.
This book, for me, paralleled a lot of Sheltered, which is in my top 5 books of 2012. They both deal with deeply troubled and broken individuals. They both take us on a dark journey and deal with the sweet redemption. I think that's what I like best about her books. Yes, we have to trudge through the thickest, most horrendous things to get to our HEA, but that's what makes it so gratifying. These characters worked for their happiness. It wasn't something that just fell into their laps.
From the first page, Charlotte's naughty words force you to take notice. She was not messing around with this book. And though there was a lot of sexual encounters in here (and there were a lot), each one was integral to the forward progression and healing of both Ivan and Abbie.
Let's talk for a minute about Abbie. This is written in first person POV, from Abbie's head. And it's a mess. The way Charlotte writes is very stream-of-consciousness. We get every ounce of Abbie's jumbled thoughts, which I think only lets us delve deeper into the character. While she is flawed and damaged, she is also raw and hopeful and surprisingly funny. There is something so refreshing about finding humor in the darkest places and grabbing on to that -- even if it's the only thing that gets you through. The only thing that felt off to me with Abbie was her freedom with the dirty talk. It was unexpected coming from her, especially considering the situation she'd escaped from. However, when I go back and reread, maybe I'll pick up on the details for why Charlotte chose to make her that way, just as I did with Evie in Sheltered.
And Ivan. Oh, man. While he wasn't up there as high as Van for me, he came a close second. He was deliciously dirty. The way this man talked and the things he did...God.
"You've no idea how much I want you. I want to bury my face between those legs, taste how wet you are, lick that stiff little clit."
"Ohhh, it's so stiff. I can hardly touch it."
"I'll touch it. Spread your legs for me, baby."
***
But it's not just the filthy things that come out of his mouth. It's also:
"You're a bad girl, trying to force me over the edge. ... But you don't have to. I'm already there. I'm already lost in you."
Charlotte once again delivers with a gripping, dark, and emotional roller coaster of a book. One I won't be forgetting for a long time to come.
I'll be honest: I'm a little mixed up inside as I'm trying to write an eloquent review of this book. What I really want to do is reread it (and I'm going to), but I also want to get this review out so others can run to read.
What is it about Charlotte's words that are so utterly captivating? That just pull the reader in, make them take notice? She writes in such a deep POV that it's nearly impossible not to feel every ounce of what the heroine does.
This book, for me, paralleled a lot of Sheltered, which is in my top 5 books of 2012. They both deal with deeply troubled and broken individuals. They both take us on a dark journey and deal with the sweet redemption. I think that's what I like best about her books. Yes, we have to trudge through the thickest, most horrendous things to get to our HEA, but that's what makes it so gratifying. These characters worked for their happiness. It wasn't something that just fell into their laps.
From the first page, Charlotte's naughty words force you to take notice. She was not messing around with this book. And though there was a lot of sexual encounters in here (and there were a lot), each one was integral to the forward progression and healing of both Ivan and Abbie.
Let's talk for a minute about Abbie. This is written in first person POV, from Abbie's head. And it's a mess. The way Charlotte writes is very stream-of-consciousness. We get every ounce of Abbie's jumbled thoughts, which I think only lets us delve deeper into the character. While she is flawed and damaged, she is also raw and hopeful and surprisingly funny. There is something so refreshing about finding humor in the darkest places and grabbing on to that -- even if it's the only thing that gets you through. The only thing that felt off to me with Abbie was her freedom with the dirty talk. It was unexpected coming from her, especially considering the situation she'd escaped from. However, when I go back and reread, maybe I'll pick up on the details for why Charlotte chose to make her that way, just as I did with Evie in Sheltered.
And Ivan. Oh, man. While he wasn't up there as high as Van for me, he came a close second. He was deliciously dirty. The way this man talked and the things he did...God.
"You've no idea how much I want you. I want to bury my face between those legs, taste how wet you are, lick that stiff little clit."
"Ohhh, it's so stiff. I can hardly touch it."
"I'll touch it. Spread your legs for me, baby."
***
But it's not just the filthy things that come out of his mouth. It's also:
"You're a bad girl, trying to force me over the edge. ... But you don't have to. I'm already there. I'm already lost in you."
Charlotte once again delivers with a gripping, dark, and emotional roller coaster of a book. One I won't be forgetting for a long time to come.
January 26, 2018
3.5 stars
I actually enjoyed this one more than I expected to, especially seeing as its largely focused on the heroine's inner thinking. The broken nature of both characters was also intriguing, would have liked an epilogue too but the ending does fit in with the characters taking one day at a time.
November 9, 2012
Oh my god, what an interesting book.
September 22, 2012
What is this? Charlotte Stein has a new book out?
I'm convinced no one can write smut like she can... I'll be the first to admit that not everything in her collection is my taste, but it is all smutastic... (is that a word?)
I follow Ms. Stein around on twitter and when she asked if anyone wanted to read her upcoming book, I jumped at the chance. I found that in the past I have really enjoyed her writing style and the characters in the books that I have liked, are ones I really find that I can feel something for. Deep Desires was no exception for me.
There is no better way to summarize this book than to steal from the actual summary.
Abbie Gough has done her best to escape a violent past. But in the process, she’s avoided life, desire and love. So when she sees her equally closed off neighbour, Ivan, performing for her one night through his window, she can’t stop looking.
Ms. Stein dives right in and within the first chapter we're getting a glimpse of the buttoned up, severe neighbor Ivan... through her window... touching himself. And Abbie can't seem to look away.
But then he strokes one hand over himself, long and slow, and I forget I've ever had any thoughts about anything at all, ever.
It just looks so good. The way he does it, all nice and easy as though he's got all the time in the world and he's absolutely not stood in front of his own window right now."
yeah... I'd be staring too!
Abbie and Ivan both have secrets,(though he seems to know hers before she even has any kind of inkling about what his is) they are both living lives that they seem to be trapped in, and so this makes their building relationship different. It happens quite non-traditionally you could say. LOLZ What starts as kinky games she plays with a neighbor quickly becomes something more as they learn to trust each other and their feelings.
Throughout the story you get bits and pieces of what happened to Abbie previously and how it has affected her life and what it is now, and so as a reader I could see why she was so withdrawn and had trust issues. Ivan, however, is like a locked vault. We get nothing of his past, only that he has trouble with physical aspects of love not emotional. One of my favorite passages was this:
We've practically been weird boyfriend and girlfriend for over a month. We've had more intense conversations about feelings and issues than I've ever had with anyone, not to mention all the talk about BLTs
His stance on tomatoes alone means we should be married by now.
If you want a quick smutty read with a dirty talking Russian guy this is the book for you! It's a quick read and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Be warned there is one m/m scene in this book, but even if that's not your bag, I don't think this will ruin anything for you!
This review can be found on my blog, Fic Fare
I'm convinced no one can write smut like she can... I'll be the first to admit that not everything in her collection is my taste, but it is all smutastic... (is that a word?)
I follow Ms. Stein around on twitter and when she asked if anyone wanted to read her upcoming book, I jumped at the chance. I found that in the past I have really enjoyed her writing style and the characters in the books that I have liked, are ones I really find that I can feel something for. Deep Desires was no exception for me.
There is no better way to summarize this book than to steal from the actual summary.
Abbie Gough has done her best to escape a violent past. But in the process, she’s avoided life, desire and love. So when she sees her equally closed off neighbour, Ivan, performing for her one night through his window, she can’t stop looking.
Ms. Stein dives right in and within the first chapter we're getting a glimpse of the buttoned up, severe neighbor Ivan... through her window... touching himself. And Abbie can't seem to look away.
But then he strokes one hand over himself, long and slow, and I forget I've ever had any thoughts about anything at all, ever.
It just looks so good. The way he does it, all nice and easy as though he's got all the time in the world and he's absolutely not stood in front of his own window right now."
yeah... I'd be staring too!
Abbie and Ivan both have secrets,(though he seems to know hers before she even has any kind of inkling about what his is) they are both living lives that they seem to be trapped in, and so this makes their building relationship different. It happens quite non-traditionally you could say. LOLZ What starts as kinky games she plays with a neighbor quickly becomes something more as they learn to trust each other and their feelings.
Throughout the story you get bits and pieces of what happened to Abbie previously and how it has affected her life and what it is now, and so as a reader I could see why she was so withdrawn and had trust issues. Ivan, however, is like a locked vault. We get nothing of his past, only that he has trouble with physical aspects of love not emotional. One of my favorite passages was this:
We've practically been weird boyfriend and girlfriend for over a month. We've had more intense conversations about feelings and issues than I've ever had with anyone, not to mention all the talk about BLTs
His stance on tomatoes alone means we should be married by now.
If you want a quick smutty read with a dirty talking Russian guy this is the book for you! It's a quick read and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Be warned there is one m/m scene in this book, but even if that's not your bag, I don't think this will ruin anything for you!
This review can be found on my blog, Fic Fare
September 24, 2012
Ah, Charlotte. Nobody is writing erotica like Charlotte does. I think sometimes that drives her bonkers -- she is a friend -- but I am so glad that she is doing it, I can only see it as a good thing.
Deep Desires feels, thematically, like an extension of Sheltered. It's about the redemptive power of sex for psychically wounded people. And one of the things I really enjoyed about this novel -- and really appreciate about Charlotte's work -- is that she believes there *is* a redemptive role for sex in people's lives. And I mean this not in the sense of fantasy sex, though of course there is an element of fantasy here, but more in the sense that in order to have great sex, her characters are forced to reach for and accept and embrace different selves. They are forced to become the people they need to be in order to communicate with their bodies and their minds. They *want* to, because pleasure is their reward, but that doesn't mean it's easy or automatic.
Nobody else is writing erotica like Charlotte does. Thank goodness for her.
Deep Desires feels, thematically, like an extension of Sheltered. It's about the redemptive power of sex for psychically wounded people. And one of the things I really enjoyed about this novel -- and really appreciate about Charlotte's work -- is that she believes there *is* a redemptive role for sex in people's lives. And I mean this not in the sense of fantasy sex, though of course there is an element of fantasy here, but more in the sense that in order to have great sex, her characters are forced to reach for and accept and embrace different selves. They are forced to become the people they need to be in order to communicate with their bodies and their minds. They *want* to, because pleasure is their reward, but that doesn't mean it's easy or automatic.
Nobody else is writing erotica like Charlotte does. Thank goodness for her.
November 9, 2012
3.5/4 Stars
One night, Abbie watches a guy in her apartment block giving himself a very sensual hand-job in front of his window with the lights on and curtains wide open. She just can't stop herself from watching and is disappointed the next night when there is no free show. One week later, he is in front of his window again, but he wants her to join in the show. Can she do it? She is willing to try just to see him do it again.
They both have secrets regarding their past and find it difficult to give somebody else control of their body.
"Emotions are easy. Physical things are hard."
This book is about the erotic dance between Abbie and Ivan and how they open up and find comfort in each other, both emotionally & physically.
Expect to steam up some windows after reading this!
One night, Abbie watches a guy in her apartment block giving himself a very sensual hand-job in front of his window with the lights on and curtains wide open. She just can't stop herself from watching and is disappointed the next night when there is no free show. One week later, he is in front of his window again, but he wants her to join in the show. Can she do it? She is willing to try just to see him do it again.
They both have secrets regarding their past and find it difficult to give somebody else control of their body.
"Emotions are easy. Physical things are hard."
This book is about the erotic dance between Abbie and Ivan and how they open up and find comfort in each other, both emotionally & physically.
Expect to steam up some windows after reading this!
February 28, 2016
Reading this was like being in a dream. The writing is that strange! I feel like I would've loved the book if the writing wasn't "dreamlike". There are barely any dialogues, and the narration is so confusing at times that I had to go back a few sentences and re-read.
This book contains voyeurism, a hot Russian guy who looks like a serial-killer, and a very sex-hungry main character...
This book contains voyeurism, a hot Russian guy who looks like a serial-killer, and a very sex-hungry main character...
November 20, 2012
A very emotional... very interesting story.
Charlotte Stein writes some hot stuff - like off the charts, smokin' hot - yet her stories are much more than just mere titillation and 'Deep Desires' was no different. This novella was slightly dark, sometimes disturbing, sometimes tender and a very affecting tale of self-discovery and emotional freedom. Yep - Stein definitely manages to pack quite a punch into a small package!
Told exclusively from the 1st person perspective of Abbie, a reclusive and fragile woman living in fear of her abusive past, we get a front row seat as she embarks on a thrilling yet strange relationship with the most unlikely of heroes. Seemingly cold and indifferent, Ivan reaches out (in his way) to Abbie and helps her to trust again, but he harbors deep seated intimacy issues himself that threaten their tentative relationship. Although we only see Ivan through Abbie's eyes, his actions speak loudly and you can't help but fall for him too. All in all, 'Deep Desires' leaves you feeling satisfied that in the end these two unlikely partners have truly found their HEA.
Charlotte Stein writes some hot stuff - like off the charts, smokin' hot - yet her stories are much more than just mere titillation and 'Deep Desires' was no different. This novella was slightly dark, sometimes disturbing, sometimes tender and a very affecting tale of self-discovery and emotional freedom. Yep - Stein definitely manages to pack quite a punch into a small package!
Told exclusively from the 1st person perspective of Abbie, a reclusive and fragile woman living in fear of her abusive past, we get a front row seat as she embarks on a thrilling yet strange relationship with the most unlikely of heroes. Seemingly cold and indifferent, Ivan reaches out (in his way) to Abbie and helps her to trust again, but he harbors deep seated intimacy issues himself that threaten their tentative relationship. Although we only see Ivan through Abbie's eyes, his actions speak loudly and you can't help but fall for him too. All in all, 'Deep Desires' leaves you feeling satisfied that in the end these two unlikely partners have truly found their HEA.
September 29, 2012
I've read several of Ms. Stein's books and enjoyed them all, but this one is definitely my favorite. I loved it. It was dark, emotional, and soooooooooooo hot. SO HOT. It's written in 1st POV, which I heavily prefer, and the dirty talk is OFF THE CHAIN, YO. Aaaaaand he calls her "baby"....*faint*
For me, this one had more of an erotic romance (versus erotica) feel and I loved that too. There were some heavy issues touched on in this book & I want to hug both of the main characters...and then hide in the closet & peek through the crack & watch/listen to them do the dirty sex some more.
I'm so sad I finished this book. I WANT MORE!
For me, this one had more of an erotic romance (versus erotica) feel and I loved that too. There were some heavy issues touched on in this book & I want to hug both of the main characters...and then hide in the closet & peek through the crack & watch/listen to them do the dirty sex some more.
I'm so sad I finished this book. I WANT MORE!
September 30, 2012
OMG, I haven't ever read a book like this. It was just so much. It was dark, haunting, tortured, erotic, intense and disturbing and I loved it so much that I was riveted. The characters were both so fucked up and tortured that the reader just couldn't help but cry for them and will them to help each other out of their personal hells.
Wow, the sex was intense and I had to take breaks from reading just to cool down. Mercy.
My only complaint was that this story was too short and the ending was too abrupt. I would love to read more about this couple so PLEASE, PLEASE let there be a sequel.
I swear that CS is one of the best writers and this book showcases that. BRAVO.
Wow, the sex was intense and I had to take breaks from reading just to cool down. Mercy.
My only complaint was that this story was too short and the ending was too abrupt. I would love to read more about this couple so PLEASE, PLEASE let there be a sequel.
I swear that CS is one of the best writers and this book showcases that. BRAVO.
July 18, 2013
Review @ Under the Covers
Abbie Gough has been secretly watching her neighbour, who she secretly refers to as The Serial Killer, something about his buttoned up appearance and cold eyes intrigues her. Especially when she watches his pleasure himself in front of his window. As Abbie and her neighbour start a strange relationship they both must face their tortured and violent pasts.
Charlotte Stein has blown me away again, in 100 pages she has managed to convey more emotion and sexual chemistry than a lot full length books. Both Abbie and Ivan aka The Serial Killer, were complicated characters who I felt a connection with as I watched their unconventional relationship unfold.
Although for a good portion of the book Ivan and Abbie don't touch as they explore their voyeuristic sides this didn't stop this book from being smoking hot. But, it wasn't just the kinky shenanigans that kept me reading this slightly dark erotica, it was characters. Peeling back the layers of their past and their traumas to see what has made them such isolated and dysfunctional individuals was just as interesting as the erotic aspects of the book.
This was a great novella, I am definitely becoming a massive fan of Charlotte Stein and can't wait to get my hands on another one of her books.
Abbie Gough has been secretly watching her neighbour, who she secretly refers to as The Serial Killer, something about his buttoned up appearance and cold eyes intrigues her. Especially when she watches his pleasure himself in front of his window. As Abbie and her neighbour start a strange relationship they both must face their tortured and violent pasts.
Charlotte Stein has blown me away again, in 100 pages she has managed to convey more emotion and sexual chemistry than a lot full length books. Both Abbie and Ivan aka The Serial Killer, were complicated characters who I felt a connection with as I watched their unconventional relationship unfold.
Although for a good portion of the book Ivan and Abbie don't touch as they explore their voyeuristic sides this didn't stop this book from being smoking hot. But, it wasn't just the kinky shenanigans that kept me reading this slightly dark erotica, it was characters. Peeling back the layers of their past and their traumas to see what has made them such isolated and dysfunctional individuals was just as interesting as the erotic aspects of the book.
This was a great novella, I am definitely becoming a massive fan of Charlotte Stein and can't wait to get my hands on another one of her books.
December 24, 2014
4. 5 Stars for a wonderful book that has left me wanting more! Seriously.
I don't think I can write an intelligent review since I really just want to read this book again. I saw another review that said that before I read this... and I completely understand it now. This is the first novel I've read from Charlotte Stein and she has a true talent for creating intriguing characters full of surprises and depth that reeled me in. I stumbled on this book on a list of romances that deal with voyeurism and I was curious. Wow was I given a mindful of an eyeful. The voyeurism was extremely hot, but the story that develops between these two lost dark souls is what kept me turning the pages. Each scene between them builds a bridge to an unbroken place that you need to get to... you have to get there. The only reason I didn't go for five stars was that the Abbie POV was sometimes jarring and didn't make sense when it dipped into Ivan's thoughts. I do have to say that her voice was fresh and at times funny when I didn't expect it giving her a depth that I loved. I just think this novel could've worked entirely from just her POV. I highly recommend this hot read.
I don't think I can write an intelligent review since I really just want to read this book again. I saw another review that said that before I read this... and I completely understand it now. This is the first novel I've read from Charlotte Stein and she has a true talent for creating intriguing characters full of surprises and depth that reeled me in. I stumbled on this book on a list of romances that deal with voyeurism and I was curious. Wow was I given a mindful of an eyeful. The voyeurism was extremely hot, but the story that develops between these two lost dark souls is what kept me turning the pages. Each scene between them builds a bridge to an unbroken place that you need to get to... you have to get there. The only reason I didn't go for five stars was that the Abbie POV was sometimes jarring and didn't make sense when it dipped into Ivan's thoughts. I do have to say that her voice was fresh and at times funny when I didn't expect it giving her a depth that I loved. I just think this novel could've worked entirely from just her POV. I highly recommend this hot read.
March 26, 2013
This was an incredibly original, compelling, erotic novella. It seemed too wordy at the beginning and I thought it was going to be boring, slow paced, and then found myself hooked on the H/h relationship. Not much hero’s’ development since it used heroine’s POV, no epilogue, rushed, but a unique love story about two broken people.
SCENES/CONTENT: several/erotic
GENRE/TONE: contemporary/drama
LENGTH: 90 pages
SCENES/CONTENT: several/erotic
GENRE/TONE: contemporary/drama
LENGTH: 90 pages
December 18, 2012
4.5
ZOMG!!! Charlotte Stein does it again with a dirty, sexy, raw love story that hits all the right buttons, including some I didn't even know I had.
Review posted at Heroesandheartbreakers
ZOMG!!! Charlotte Stein does it again with a dirty, sexy, raw love story that hits all the right buttons, including some I didn't even know I had.
Review posted at Heroesandheartbreakers
December 6, 2012
This book takes place in those dark bits of Abbie's brain where she's not sure she is able to love and be loved, be sexual and open to another person. She's terrified and turned on and desperately beautiful. Ivan is even more of a hot mess than Abbie, but we don't get to be inside his gorgeous head (which makes me a bit sad, because I'm sure it's amazing in there) because it's written in the first person all from Abbie's POV.
To me, the plot outside Abbie's head--the one where she and Ivan meet and interact and such--is nowhere near as fascinating or as beautiful as Abbie's internal love story. Going from Abbie, this girl who can't believe she's watching a man masturbate and can't imagine he'd want her to, to this inviting, welcoming, loving--even loving herself a bit--person who finally sees their relationship as something beautiful and real.
A good bit of the book takes place through windows and screens, and reading it you feel almost like a voyeur, and it's so freaking brilliant because it unlocks all those dark Abbie-feelings in the reader also. Brilliant and beautiful and sexy.
To me, the plot outside Abbie's head--the one where she and Ivan meet and interact and such--is nowhere near as fascinating or as beautiful as Abbie's internal love story. Going from Abbie, this girl who can't believe she's watching a man masturbate and can't imagine he'd want her to, to this inviting, welcoming, loving--even loving herself a bit--person who finally sees their relationship as something beautiful and real.
A good bit of the book takes place through windows and screens, and reading it you feel almost like a voyeur, and it's so freaking brilliant because it unlocks all those dark Abbie-feelings in the reader also. Brilliant and beautiful and sexy.
October 29, 2012
It’s the way he puts his thumb and forefinger to his lips, licks, and then slicks that wetness over one tight nipple.
I can almost hear him moaning, through the glass. Though, of course, that’s what makes me realise what he’s going to do. I realise it before I let my gaze travel downwards, to the thick, heavy bulge between his legs.
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a guy do the things he offers me, right there in his window where anyone could see. In all honesty, I’ve never even seen a guy masturbate, or be vulnerable, or give a single thing without taking.
Holy Fuck.. Each and every page is oozing chemistry and sex.. Its like your skin's on fire!
I really liked the book and the story, but one thing pissed the shit out of me.. She spoke the whole book in her head, like even his dialogue but. I don't like this kind of narration, Forget don't like I can't even stand it, but yet the sexual tension kept me going and oh boy, fuck the book is hot. Its got a little dark to it but fuck me it was hot, beautiful and just asdfghjkl!!
I can almost hear him moaning, through the glass. Though, of course, that’s what makes me realise what he’s going to do. I realise it before I let my gaze travel downwards, to the thick, heavy bulge between his legs.
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a guy do the things he offers me, right there in his window where anyone could see. In all honesty, I’ve never even seen a guy masturbate, or be vulnerable, or give a single thing without taking.
Holy Fuck.. Each and every page is oozing chemistry and sex.. Its like your skin's on fire!
I really liked the book and the story, but one thing pissed the shit out of me.. She spoke the whole book in her head, like even his dialogue but. I don't like this kind of narration, Forget don't like I can't even stand it, but yet the sexual tension kept me going and oh boy, fuck the book is hot. Its got a little dark to it but fuck me it was hot, beautiful and just asdfghjkl!!
February 9, 2013
It started a little strange, but turned out to be a sweet and erotic story. I'm not particularly fond of Charlotte Stein writing style. Her stories have very little dialogue. This one was not an exception. A lot of the times the heroine told the reader what have been told to her. Not only it made me bored, it made harder to get to know Ivan. Thank god Stein's stories aren't long, otherwise I would have gotten bored. With that being said, the story about tortured lovers wasn't half bad. It had interesting characters and nice pace.
It was a fun read.
It was a fun read.
October 1, 2012
huh...this book made me come up with a new shelf! Smut that makes you think.
I was between just liking this and really liking this book. So at first I gave it three stars, but the way the author tells the story is so good I think it deserves another star.
The way my dear sweet friend Amy describes this book, as an XXX rated Hitchcock thriller is the best description that comes to mind right now.
I was between just liking this and really liking this book. So at first I gave it three stars, but the way the author tells the story is so good I think it deserves another star.
The way my dear sweet friend Amy describes this book, as an XXX rated Hitchcock thriller is the best description that comes to mind right now.
November 28, 2012
Damn! Damn! Damn! Incredible story, what a voice. Only truly skillful writing could pull this off. Damn!
October 3, 2016
Reread October 2016 Wow, more angst than you can shake a stick at, but the SEX! Panty dropping.
This was raunchy and nasty in the best possible way! Thumbs up.
This was raunchy and nasty in the best possible way! Thumbs up.
September 9, 2016
Nice hot short story.
More dialogue between the two main characters would have made this better for me. There was too much inner thoughts/monologue by Abbie, which made me bored at times.
More dialogue between the two main characters would have made this better for me. There was too much inner thoughts/monologue by Abbie, which made me bored at times.
September 23, 2012
You know how sometimes when you've known a friend for a long time and then they say or do something that makes you look at them and realise they've just evolved to a whole new level of self-actualisation?
I just experienced this in a totally different context.
I realised very early in this novella with a few words that lanced out of nowhere and made my body jolt that with this story, Charlotte Stein's evolved to a whole new level as a writer. And my god, that is such a privilege to witness for me both as a reader and a writer, to follow an admired writer through her novels and see her reach for a deeper more dangerous authenticity and get there, do it bravely and do it well.
There was the barest hint of darkness in Power Play which I picked up on enough to be slightly frustrated it didn't get unpacked. Here in Deep Desires, that darkness is laid right out on the page and explored with a clarity and a ruthlessness and a poignancy that is at times fair breathtaking. And skill too because Abbie's traumatic history isn't tediously forced out in info dumps ... it's revealed to us in brief painfully vivid phrases, exactly like an averted memory that spears you with unexpected pain. I've always loved the effortless intimacy of Stein's writing style, the stream of consciousness that some readers seem to struggle with but which instantly hooks me in and makes me very very comfortable and secure in her writing hands. And that effortlessness is exactly why those moments of reveal are so perfectly effective, especially to a reader like me who prefers to piece things together instead of being treated like I'm two years old. It's elegant.
There's a powerful use of metaphor in this, a puzzle box and a labyrinth, the latter of which I just remembered was a symbol in the very first Charlotte Stein story I ever read, Waiting In Vain. Only here it's infused with such weight I had a slight smile of deep approval as I read those paragraphs. The development of that and the puzzle box as metaphors for the emotional mazes both Abbie and Ivan have to negotiate in themselves and each other was something so rewarding and wonderful to see, added to the gravitas and worth of this story as more than a bit of escapist fun.
This story is a journey and it's a hard one but valuable. Whereas the transformation arcs and empowerment in other Stein stories have been varying shades of subtle and always couched in fun --- never a quality to be undervalued --- here the angst is inescapably real and makes the sexual heat and emotion so much richer. I got quite emotional actually reading this which is a personal first for what's marketed as erotica.
Abbie endeared herself to me quite unconsciously with her intense but artless vulnerability mixed in with enough intelligence and self-awareness and wit like all Charlotte Stein heroines. I don't want to sound dismissive of that or triviliasing it but the fact is I've come to expect that from a Stein story, it's perfectly natural and obvious now that her women would be like that. But there was a moment in this novella where my heart clenched around Abbie, where suddenly it was sealed fact that I adored her. No moment of great profound insight or vulnerability or heroism (though that does come later and I pretty much roared in my head for her) ... no, it was a moment when she said utterly the wrong thing and I loved her for it. "Did you really just say that?"
Ivan was a far more complex character and for a good long time, there was an unease in the pit of my stomach, so afraid for Abbie because it seemed like she could go from one hideously controlling man to a man equally controlling in a much more insidious way. As hot as the escalation was and as much as it made for a certain deliciously fucked up edge to the danger, that unease roiled for much longer than I expected, really not helped by the Serial Killer tag. And then my god, the sweetness of the reveal, the great shuddering sigh of relief when we're shown in incontrovertible proof (and no heroics) that Ivan cares about her in a way she deserves, in a way that elevates not degrades her. There's a wonderful moment early in the relationship that telegraphs it but played with enough ambiguity that I quailed at the use of the word 'triumph' and then melted a little at Abbie's realisation in the next line. But the conversation in the middle of the book was really the clincher for me, erased all my doubt and fear for her.
What I really loved about their relationship is for a while there, it seems like Abbie really does fuck up. As much as I totally felt her pounding curiosity, I was equally dreading the repercussions and it didn't surprise me when she got it. Made her human and so real to me. In a way, I almost didn't need the out she was given but that made such lovely sense in terms of Ivan's own emotional evolution that it worked for me more on his level than hers.
I was also slightly nervous that Ivan's big reveal would leave me unmoved. Like the big reveals in Jane Lovering's Slightly Foxed and Please Don't Stop The Music. I can't help that sometimes what I can imagine is much worse than what a novelist puts on the page. Too much reading of actual serial killer true crime. So yes, I was a bit nervous that I would have the same underwhelmed reaction here.
Jesus fucking christ, no. Yet again, it grounded this novel with a weight that shocked me into immobility and honestly into wondering if other erotica readers would hate this. Me, I loved it and applauded the choice Stein made, the road she took to explore. Darkness and horror when done right makes sweetness and light unutterably beautiful and precious. And that is exactly what happens here, the fact that there are still moments of Stein humour in the narrative, and that both Abbie and Ivan can appreciate the ability to laugh and have fun in bed, that the sex can move from fueled by darkness to sex for the pure fun of it. Sometimes I think it's really only people who have been through horrific stuff who understand the quality of laughter and buoyancy. Dionysus and Apollo. Hades and Hermes.
The sexual escalation was a truly wonderful thing to see and feel, the fact that Abbie and Ivan go from almost strangers through a series of precise fantastic increasingly hot encounters to a delayed consummation that damned near made my fingers clench with frustration. Marvellous stuff, that steady pacing out. Abbie's sexual hangups were all things I could achingly relate to, a quality of pathetic realism that's always such vindication and sweet relief to see on the page. And I particularly loved how Ivan responded to that, such a great development and insight into both their characters.
Actually, that was another aspect I noticed and really loved about this story, that Stein would more than once put a moment of blistering sexual heat and emotional turning point in a situation of almost appalling mundaneness. Looking up from the puzzle box to Wheel Of Fortune. Wearing the little sexual device at Abbie's job as checkout chick at the supermarket. Usually erotica seems to take place in this other world of heightened colour and emotion, a realm of fantasy, yes. This placed it back into the real world I know and that was such a small and so valuable thing.
Having said that, I'm pretty sure I'm not wrong in imagining Michael Fassbender all the way through this. Hee hee.
And the lit!porn. God, how I adored that, the inclusion of literary intellect into sexual play. Made me grin and love the story just that little bit more. Not to mention the Patrick Bateman reference that made me laugh out loud.
The ending device was more fairytale than I would have wanted --- I really didn't want heroics --- but that didn't stop me being utterly swamped with relief, and then viciously joyful at the last paragraph, at the unabashed ferocity of their bond and loyalty to each other. A ferocity that's totally justified to me. I couldn't help but be so glad they had found each other, that they had each other.
Certainly, Deep Desires has displaced Power Play as my most favourite Charlotte Stein story. To me, it's much more complex novel than Sheltered in that Ivan has a journey right along with Abbie and very much doesn't have all the answers like Van did. This is a significantly braver and wider leap from Power Play, so much more precious to me for the authenticity and exploration of the emotional darkness hinted at there.
One of those stories I'm so glad to have experienced, to have lived through with the characters. How many times can you say that about erotica?
Full disclosure: Charlotte was lovely enough to offer me a review copy. Which naturally I fell on like a ravening chicken. And made me all the more determined to be scrupulously honest.
I just experienced this in a totally different context.
I realised very early in this novella with a few words that lanced out of nowhere and made my body jolt that with this story, Charlotte Stein's evolved to a whole new level as a writer. And my god, that is such a privilege to witness for me both as a reader and a writer, to follow an admired writer through her novels and see her reach for a deeper more dangerous authenticity and get there, do it bravely and do it well.
There was the barest hint of darkness in Power Play which I picked up on enough to be slightly frustrated it didn't get unpacked. Here in Deep Desires, that darkness is laid right out on the page and explored with a clarity and a ruthlessness and a poignancy that is at times fair breathtaking. And skill too because Abbie's traumatic history isn't tediously forced out in info dumps ... it's revealed to us in brief painfully vivid phrases, exactly like an averted memory that spears you with unexpected pain. I've always loved the effortless intimacy of Stein's writing style, the stream of consciousness that some readers seem to struggle with but which instantly hooks me in and makes me very very comfortable and secure in her writing hands. And that effortlessness is exactly why those moments of reveal are so perfectly effective, especially to a reader like me who prefers to piece things together instead of being treated like I'm two years old. It's elegant.
There's a powerful use of metaphor in this, a puzzle box and a labyrinth, the latter of which I just remembered was a symbol in the very first Charlotte Stein story I ever read, Waiting In Vain. Only here it's infused with such weight I had a slight smile of deep approval as I read those paragraphs. The development of that and the puzzle box as metaphors for the emotional mazes both Abbie and Ivan have to negotiate in themselves and each other was something so rewarding and wonderful to see, added to the gravitas and worth of this story as more than a bit of escapist fun.
This story is a journey and it's a hard one but valuable. Whereas the transformation arcs and empowerment in other Stein stories have been varying shades of subtle and always couched in fun --- never a quality to be undervalued --- here the angst is inescapably real and makes the sexual heat and emotion so much richer. I got quite emotional actually reading this which is a personal first for what's marketed as erotica.
Abbie endeared herself to me quite unconsciously with her intense but artless vulnerability mixed in with enough intelligence and self-awareness and wit like all Charlotte Stein heroines. I don't want to sound dismissive of that or triviliasing it but the fact is I've come to expect that from a Stein story, it's perfectly natural and obvious now that her women would be like that. But there was a moment in this novella where my heart clenched around Abbie, where suddenly it was sealed fact that I adored her. No moment of great profound insight or vulnerability or heroism (though that does come later and I pretty much roared in my head for her) ... no, it was a moment when she said utterly the wrong thing and I loved her for it. "Did you really just say that?"
Ivan was a far more complex character and for a good long time, there was an unease in the pit of my stomach, so afraid for Abbie because it seemed like she could go from one hideously controlling man to a man equally controlling in a much more insidious way. As hot as the escalation was and as much as it made for a certain deliciously fucked up edge to the danger, that unease roiled for much longer than I expected, really not helped by the Serial Killer tag. And then my god, the sweetness of the reveal, the great shuddering sigh of relief when we're shown in incontrovertible proof (and no heroics) that Ivan cares about her in a way she deserves, in a way that elevates not degrades her. There's a wonderful moment early in the relationship that telegraphs it but played with enough ambiguity that I quailed at the use of the word 'triumph' and then melted a little at Abbie's realisation in the next line. But the conversation in the middle of the book was really the clincher for me, erased all my doubt and fear for her.
What I really loved about their relationship is for a while there, it seems like Abbie really does fuck up. As much as I totally felt her pounding curiosity, I was equally dreading the repercussions and it didn't surprise me when she got it. Made her human and so real to me. In a way, I almost didn't need the out she was given but that made such lovely sense in terms of Ivan's own emotional evolution that it worked for me more on his level than hers.
I was also slightly nervous that Ivan's big reveal would leave me unmoved. Like the big reveals in Jane Lovering's Slightly Foxed and Please Don't Stop The Music. I can't help that sometimes what I can imagine is much worse than what a novelist puts on the page. Too much reading of actual serial killer true crime. So yes, I was a bit nervous that I would have the same underwhelmed reaction here.
Jesus fucking christ, no. Yet again, it grounded this novel with a weight that shocked me into immobility and honestly into wondering if other erotica readers would hate this. Me, I loved it and applauded the choice Stein made, the road she took to explore. Darkness and horror when done right makes sweetness and light unutterably beautiful and precious. And that is exactly what happens here, the fact that there are still moments of Stein humour in the narrative, and that both Abbie and Ivan can appreciate the ability to laugh and have fun in bed, that the sex can move from fueled by darkness to sex for the pure fun of it. Sometimes I think it's really only people who have been through horrific stuff who understand the quality of laughter and buoyancy. Dionysus and Apollo. Hades and Hermes.
The sexual escalation was a truly wonderful thing to see and feel, the fact that Abbie and Ivan go from almost strangers through a series of precise fantastic increasingly hot encounters to a delayed consummation that damned near made my fingers clench with frustration. Marvellous stuff, that steady pacing out. Abbie's sexual hangups were all things I could achingly relate to, a quality of pathetic realism that's always such vindication and sweet relief to see on the page. And I particularly loved how Ivan responded to that, such a great development and insight into both their characters.
Actually, that was another aspect I noticed and really loved about this story, that Stein would more than once put a moment of blistering sexual heat and emotional turning point in a situation of almost appalling mundaneness. Looking up from the puzzle box to Wheel Of Fortune. Wearing the little sexual device at Abbie's job as checkout chick at the supermarket. Usually erotica seems to take place in this other world of heightened colour and emotion, a realm of fantasy, yes. This placed it back into the real world I know and that was such a small and so valuable thing.
Having said that, I'm pretty sure I'm not wrong in imagining Michael Fassbender all the way through this. Hee hee.
And the lit!porn. God, how I adored that, the inclusion of literary intellect into sexual play. Made me grin and love the story just that little bit more. Not to mention the Patrick Bateman reference that made me laugh out loud.
The ending device was more fairytale than I would have wanted --- I really didn't want heroics --- but that didn't stop me being utterly swamped with relief, and then viciously joyful at the last paragraph, at the unabashed ferocity of their bond and loyalty to each other. A ferocity that's totally justified to me. I couldn't help but be so glad they had found each other, that they had each other.
Certainly, Deep Desires has displaced Power Play as my most favourite Charlotte Stein story. To me, it's much more complex novel than Sheltered in that Ivan has a journey right along with Abbie and very much doesn't have all the answers like Van did. This is a significantly braver and wider leap from Power Play, so much more precious to me for the authenticity and exploration of the emotional darkness hinted at there.
One of those stories I'm so glad to have experienced, to have lived through with the characters. How many times can you say that about erotica?
Full disclosure: Charlotte was lovely enough to offer me a review copy. Which naturally I fell on like a ravening chicken. And made me all the more determined to be scrupulously honest.
October 1, 2014
Come check out the reviews on my blog Under The Cover
I’ve read one book by Charlotte Stein before and loved it. But after that, I didn’t really look for more of her books for some reason. Which is a shame because in the last three days, I’ve read four other books by her and realized what a dummy I am.
“Apart from the obvious psychological problems, he’s the perfect man.”
Deep Desires is the forth book that I’ve read by Mrs. Stein and boy, did I like it. I really love how her stories always have characters who have insecurities to work through and even though her stories are scorching hot every time, she never forgets to give them a healthy dose of real emotions. Basically what I’m saying is that it’s really rare for me not to love something she writes.
“We’re so fucked up we could convince Freud to analyse us from the grave.”
I really liked Deep Desires. I loved the characters equally. Abbie and Ivan are great and I loved how they got to know each other and how they figured each other little by little. I loved the sexual tension and all this window watching and mutual voyeurism they did with each other. The phone sex was very good and I think that the dirty-talker-lovers out there will be pleased with this book ;)
“I thought you were wet because that kiss was so intense I wanted to fall right into it and never come back up. Or maybe because I took those sweet little nipples in my mouth, and sucked on them.”
And even though the ending was a little abrupt, I still liked it. If there was one thing I had to make a comment about with Charlotte Stein’s writing, it would be that her endings sometime sneak up on me and that I would like them different. But that’s basically it.
“Men don’t kiss their way down your body because they’re aiming for your feet. Or so I’ve heard.”
Charlotte Stein writes some seriously hot stuff in her books and Deep Desires was no different. I had to fan myself more than once while reading this book and people looked at me funny when I started sighing in a very contented way in public. Just a friendly advice: have a change of underwear close by while you read this book. Or any book by Charlotte Stein for that matter. It does the trick every freaking time!
“‘God,’ he says. ‘God.’ And I agree. Prayers need to be said, for pleasure this thick and fast.”
This book is definitely… interesting. At times, it is even a little disturbing. It is also a little dark too but the book is filled with funny comments from Abbie. It is also full of tenderness. I love that her characters always have to find their self-worth and how they do it with the help of the right person. She manages to give a seriously good story in very few pages (the book is only 101 pages long — I often wish her books were longer…)
“Go to sleep Abbie. I’ll go to sleep with you, and dream my blackbird is gone, too. You looked up at me, and it went away. For a little while, I swear, it went away.”
I’ll put this book in the Not Everybody’s Cup of Tea section because of the slightly disturbing aspect of the book I was mentioning earlier. Mrs. Stein’s characters have been wounded deeply and they still wear the scars. They both have been abused in their own way and they are still working toward recovery. I think it’s something readers should know going in but don’t be afraid of reading this book because of what I’ve said because Charlotte Stein does a great job of telling us about the abuse her characters have been the victims of but in a way that doesn’t make it too hard for a reader to read.
“You don’t look anyone in the eyes, because that would be inviting someone in, wouldn’t it? See, I know that last one because it’s the way I am too.”
I highly recommend this book and if you think this one’s not for you, you should really take a look at Charlotte’s work and find something that appeals to you. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.
I’ve read one book by Charlotte Stein before and loved it. But after that, I didn’t really look for more of her books for some reason. Which is a shame because in the last three days, I’ve read four other books by her and realized what a dummy I am.
“Apart from the obvious psychological problems, he’s the perfect man.”
Deep Desires is the forth book that I’ve read by Mrs. Stein and boy, did I like it. I really love how her stories always have characters who have insecurities to work through and even though her stories are scorching hot every time, she never forgets to give them a healthy dose of real emotions. Basically what I’m saying is that it’s really rare for me not to love something she writes.
“We’re so fucked up we could convince Freud to analyse us from the grave.”
I really liked Deep Desires. I loved the characters equally. Abbie and Ivan are great and I loved how they got to know each other and how they figured each other little by little. I loved the sexual tension and all this window watching and mutual voyeurism they did with each other. The phone sex was very good and I think that the dirty-talker-lovers out there will be pleased with this book ;)
“I thought you were wet because that kiss was so intense I wanted to fall right into it and never come back up. Or maybe because I took those sweet little nipples in my mouth, and sucked on them.”
And even though the ending was a little abrupt, I still liked it. If there was one thing I had to make a comment about with Charlotte Stein’s writing, it would be that her endings sometime sneak up on me and that I would like them different. But that’s basically it.
“Men don’t kiss their way down your body because they’re aiming for your feet. Or so I’ve heard.”
Charlotte Stein writes some seriously hot stuff in her books and Deep Desires was no different. I had to fan myself more than once while reading this book and people looked at me funny when I started sighing in a very contented way in public. Just a friendly advice: have a change of underwear close by while you read this book. Or any book by Charlotte Stein for that matter. It does the trick every freaking time!
“‘God,’ he says. ‘God.’ And I agree. Prayers need to be said, for pleasure this thick and fast.”
This book is definitely… interesting. At times, it is even a little disturbing. It is also a little dark too but the book is filled with funny comments from Abbie. It is also full of tenderness. I love that her characters always have to find their self-worth and how they do it with the help of the right person. She manages to give a seriously good story in very few pages (the book is only 101 pages long — I often wish her books were longer…)
“Go to sleep Abbie. I’ll go to sleep with you, and dream my blackbird is gone, too. You looked up at me, and it went away. For a little while, I swear, it went away.”
I’ll put this book in the Not Everybody’s Cup of Tea section because of the slightly disturbing aspect of the book I was mentioning earlier. Mrs. Stein’s characters have been wounded deeply and they still wear the scars. They both have been abused in their own way and they are still working toward recovery. I think it’s something readers should know going in but don’t be afraid of reading this book because of what I’ve said because Charlotte Stein does a great job of telling us about the abuse her characters have been the victims of but in a way that doesn’t make it too hard for a reader to read.
“You don’t look anyone in the eyes, because that would be inviting someone in, wouldn’t it? See, I know that last one because it’s the way I am too.”
I highly recommend this book and if you think this one’s not for you, you should really take a look at Charlotte’s work and find something that appeals to you. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.
October 20, 2012
3,5 Stars
That was so awesome!!
I was looking for a short sexy read and this book was everything I was expecting and more.
I started it today and I finished about 5 hours later, I couldn't put it down.
This author wrote this story beautifully, and thanks to that I really got into the situations. Everything is so detailed, and you can perfectly understand everything Abbie was thinking and feeling.
The writting was also one of the reasons I'm giving this book 3,5 stars, sometimes I had to do a double take to really comprehend what was actually happening. But that's mostly my fault for being spanish and having a limited english skills haha.
The start of 'Deep Desires' got me hooked inmediatly. It was like nothing I've read before. That first scene was so hot it had me craving for more.
I found the initial relationship between the two main characters fascinating. The fact that they ddn't actually see each other made everything more powerful and exciting. I love how the story went step by step, even if it's a quick read everything took its right time, and that's another reason why this book was so good.
Some scenes were so intense I had to breath and then continue reading. Ivan was so perfect, even with his issues, but Abbie was everything he needed. She had a few issues as well, her insecurities were totally understable giving her past, so Ivan was perfect for her too.
I really liked this book and I can't wait to read more from this author.
That was so awesome!!
I was looking for a short sexy read and this book was everything I was expecting and more.
I started it today and I finished about 5 hours later, I couldn't put it down.
This author wrote this story beautifully, and thanks to that I really got into the situations. Everything is so detailed, and you can perfectly understand everything Abbie was thinking and feeling.
The writting was also one of the reasons I'm giving this book 3,5 stars, sometimes I had to do a double take to really comprehend what was actually happening. But that's mostly my fault for being spanish and having a limited english skills haha.
The start of 'Deep Desires' got me hooked inmediatly. It was like nothing I've read before. That first scene was so hot it had me craving for more.
I found the initial relationship between the two main characters fascinating. The fact that they ddn't actually see each other made everything more powerful and exciting. I love how the story went step by step, even if it's a quick read everything took its right time, and that's another reason why this book was so good.
Some scenes were so intense I had to breath and then continue reading. Ivan was so perfect, even with his issues, but Abbie was everything he needed. She had a few issues as well, her insecurities were totally understable giving her past, so Ivan was perfect for her too.
I really liked this book and I can't wait to read more from this author.
June 28, 2015
I feel like I need a cigarette after this book. And I don't even smoke! Phew!
I wasn't really sure what to expect from this book when I started reading it. I knew voyeurism came into play for some of the sexy times, but that was about it.
Our MC Abbie works a mundane cashier's job at a supermarket and pretty much keeps to herself. One night she notices that her equally mysterious neighbor, Ivan, has left his curtain's opened. If you've read the synopsis, you know where things go from here.
Deep Desires was sexy (good lord was it sexy!), humorous, a touch taboo...but it also had its sweet moments in between. I was surprised at how well Charlotte Stein was able to write such an emotional connection between the two main characters in just 100 pages. There's a lot of shit erotica books out there, but I'd say this is one of the better ones I've read in quite a while.
4.5 stars! If you don't mind some seriously descriptive kink, check this book out!
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