Constance: The Tragic and Scandalous Life of Mrs. Oscar Wilde

by Franny Moyle

“Tells the poignant story of Constance in the aftermath of Wilde’s trials and imprisonment, and of her brave attempts to keep in contact with him despite her suffering.” —The Irish Times
 In the spring of 1895 the life of Constance Wilde changed irrevocably. Up until the conviction of her husband, Oscar, for homosexual crimes, she had held a privileged position in society. Part of a gilded couple, she was a popular children’s author, a fashion icon, and a leading campaigner for women’s rights. A founding member of the magical society The Golden Dawn, her pioneering and questioning spirit encouraged her to sample some of the more controversial aspects of her time. Mrs. Oscar Wilde was a phenomenon in her own right.


But that spring Constance’s entire life was eclipsed by scandal. Forced to flee to the Continent with her two sons, her glittering literary and political career ended abruptly. She lived in exile until her death.


Franny Moyle now tells Constance’s story with a fresh eye. Drawing on numerous unpublished letters, she brings to life the story of a woman at the heart of fin-de-siècle London and the Aesthetic movement. In a compelling and moving tale of an unlikely couple caught up in a world unsure of its moral footing, Moyle unveils the story of a woman who was the victim of one of the greatest betrayals of all time.

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, History, Biography Memoir, Feminism, British Literature, Historical

400 pages, ebook

First published January 1, 2011

About the author

Former television producer, currently a freelance author.

Reviews

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to admit that I knew very little about Constance Wilde before reading this book, other than, of course, that she was Oscar Wilde's wife. However, I came to appreciate her as a strong woman, who did suffer but who always tried to do the right thing and fought hard to protect her sons.

Constance had a difficult upbringing. Her brother Otho, who she adored, was older than her and she was left with a widowed mother who both verbally and physically abused her. When her mother re-married, Constance went to live with her fathers family, but her early experiences made her withdrawn and shy. Oscar Wilde's family knew hers in Ireland, and so the connection was there from a young age. Constance idolised Oscar, although it is telling that letters from Constance to Otho crossed each other - Constance announcing her engagement at the same time that Otho attempted to warn her about a 'worrying story' he had heard. So, even in those very early days, alarm bells may have been sounding that Oscar may not have been the "ideal husband", although Constance refused to listen to the story and so we can only imagine what warning Otho wished to give.

By this point though, Constance was beyond any warnings or worries and marriage led to her being more outlandish, while Oscar became more conventional. She seemed to gain confidence and took up causes and a new social life with enthusiasm. Constance was a great believer in women wearing more sensible clothing and she was seen as fashionable, although sometimes too daring in her dress. Early marriage was passionate and Constance was expecting her first baby only six months after moving into their new home. Two children later though, affections had waned and Wilde embarked on his first homosexual affair, although he retained a strong sense of marital duty.

This biography covers fully Constance's early life and marriage and how tragedy and scandal befell her as her life with Oscar diverged. Bosie Douglas usurped Constance - as the author notes, "she was no longer the heart of the Wilde household". The story of Oscar Wilde's downfall is well known, but no less dramatic for the re-telling. Constance had always given Oscar a refuge and stability; she helped him with his work and they often had similar causes and interests in the early days of their marriage. Even Oscar's friends attempted to warn him of the path he was going down, but Constance saw, perhaps even before he did, of the danger.

When Oscar went to prison, his friends and Constance's supporters had only animosity for each other. Yet, touchingly, Constance still seemed to care for Oscar, even though her whole life had fallen apart. In one thing Constance was adamant - her sons, Cecil and Vyvyan, came first. She would do anything to protect them and did her utmost to shield them from scandal.

I greatly enjoyed this extremely interesting biography. The book presents the story of Constance's life fairly, pointing out both her strengths and weaknesses and painting a picture of a woman who perhaps was rather naive and ran away from issues that troubled her, but, in the end, had the strength of character to re-build her life. The biography also gives a very interesting and unbiased portrait of Oscar Wilde. This is a very readable and entertaining book and I found it hard to put down. I would recommend it highly as a fascinating account of a woman who is often overlooked in the story of her famous husbands life. Lastly, I read the kindle version of this book and the illustrations were included.

[Anastasia Fitzgerald-Beaumont · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've not long finished Constance: The Tragic and Scandalous Life of Mrs. Oscar Wilde by Franny Moyle. The following review is offered in a slightly different spirit to those I've added here before. Moyle's book, which draws on over three hundred of Constance's previously unpublished letters, is an important work of scholarship, worthy of appreciation. But my review is also a personal apology, or a debt of honour, to a woman who was so much more than simply the wife of Oscar Wilde.

I've long been a huge admirer of the work of Wilde; of his plays, funny and subversive at one and the same time; of his short stories, clever and imaginative; and of The Picture of Dorian Gray, his only novel. My admiration, I confess, allowed me to overlook so much that was thoughtless and often callous in his nature. His precipitate and wilful actions, above all his pursuit of Lord Alfred Douglas, the narcissistic, manipulative and wholly loathsome 'Bosie', did so much damage to his reputation, did so much damage to those around him. Above all, the person it damaged most, apart from himself, was Constance.

Born Constance Mary Lloyd, she and Wilde married in 1884, going on to have two children together, Cyril and Vyvyan. To me she always seemed an incidental part of the Wilde story, somehow there and not there at one and the same time. It's a fairly common view, I think. In Wilde, the 1997 biopic with Stephen Fry in the title role, Constance is played by Jennifer Ehle, a bit part for a bit life. I was also convinced by the argument of Richard Ellmann in his 1987 Oscar Wilde, still the best biographical treatment of the subject, where he says that the marriage was simply one of personal convenience for the writer, throwing the sexual moralists off his trail.

It's quite wrong. Their union, at least to begin with, was based on mutual devotion. In writing of Constance Wilde expressed himself in the most gushingly romantic terms. She was “…a grave, slight, violet-eyed Artemis, with great coils of heavy brown hair which make her flower-like head droop like a flower.”

But Constance was no dropping flower. Moyle brings her out as a fully rounded human being, as innovatory and as revolutionary in her ideas as her husband. Clever, beautiful and determined, she was also an author, writing and publishing stories for children. Indeed Moyle makes out a convincing case that it was she, and not Wilde, who wrote The Selfish Giant, one of my all-time favourite stories when I was little.

Apart from being a writer she supported a number of progressive causes, including that of female suffrage. She was one of the founding members of the Rational Dress Society, set up to challenge the Victorian conventions which effectively entombed women in cloth. True to her ideas, she took to wearing loose baggy trousers, quite a shocking innovation for the times. She was also a popular platform speaker, talking about such subjects as home rule for Ireland. Her personal motto was Qui Patitur Vincit (Who Endures Wins), a clever play on her name, which was to prove prophetic, at least as far as endurance, was concerned.

The transformation in Wilde's relationship with his wife was gradual. The outward signs are there in letters that show more affectation than affection. It's impossible to be certain if she ever suspected her husband, prior to the revelations of the trials of 1895, of rent boys and sodomy, though her brother Otho suspected quite early on that all was not quite right.

Moyle gives Constance the benefit of the doubt, though there seems to me to be a strong element of denial here, evidenced, I would suggest, by the fact that she spent more and more time staying with friends in the last years of her marriage. She herself was unwittingly guilty of introducing the serpent into Eden, admitting seventeen year old Robbie Ross as a lodger into the home she shared with Wilde in Chelsea. Ross, quaintly described by Moyle a 'practicing homosexual' (when do they perfect the practice, I wonder?), no sooner moved in than he moved in on her husband.

When the details of Wilde’s sexual preferences finally broke in 1895, brought on by an ill-advised libel action, the work of Bosie, Connie was to be the chief incidental victim of the ensuing scandal. Not only was she forced to change her name and that of the boys to avoid the repercussions that followed from Wilde's disgrace but she also suffered some appalling and petty humiliations. Wilde's creditors seized all of the contents of their Chelsea home, including his letters to his wife and the children’s toys. But Constance remained constant, even visiting her husband in prison and supporting him financially afterwards, the only thing, and the only person, that saved him from abject poverty during his Continental exile.

She got a poor return for her loyalty. Wilde, who previously intrigued with his friends to get hold of a part of his wife's private income, agreed to meet her and the children in Genoa, only to run off to Naples for a liaison with Bosie, a man he vowed to reject, the man he condemned in his essay De Profundis - From the Heart. Connie, now seriously ill, with uterine tumours, according to Moyle, died in April 1898, after an operation to alleviate her condition went wrong. Even in her final extremity Wilde did not come. It was only in 1963 that the inscription 'Wife of Oscar Wilde' was added to her headstone, more a reproach from beyond the grave than anything else.

Moyle's book magnifies Constance, a brave and noble woman, as much as it diminishes Wilde, self-absorbed and self-pitying. He is said before his death in November 1900 to have been full of remorse for his treatment of Constance and his sons. If so, he deserved to be. He took himself into the gutter. If, once there, he looked at the stars there was surely no star greater than his wife.

[Christy B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Constance: The Tragic and Scandalous Life of Mrs. Oscar Wilde is a good account of the life of an often overlooked figure.

I admit, I've been interested in the life and work of Oscar Wilde for years, but have never given a second thought to his wife Constance. Shame on me! I feel like I need to apologize to her. She was a woman ahead of her time: intelligent, progressive, for women's rights, etc. She was also a children's writer.

From reading this biography I learned that Constance was an incredibly real person. She had her flaws, but some of them can be excused for the time she lived in. I also learned just what her husband's trial and eventual imprisonment did to her.

In the book are exerts of unpublished letters that Constance wrote to friends and family. Also included are some fabulous photos that I have never seen before.

Constance Wilde was truly an inspiring woman whose life ended much too soon. She was incredibly eager to learn anything and everything, not to mention wanting to do anything and everything. She understandably wore herself out. And even when her husband went to prison, she still continued to support him, showing just how compassionate she was.

Highly recommended biography. I'm thrilled that Constance's story is finally out there.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first published biography of Constance Wilde, wife of Oscar Wilde. The many Wilde biographers haven't given her much attention, glossing over her life as entirely influenced by Wilde. For example, they often suggest she wore Aesthetic Dress to please Oscar, when in fact she was active in the Dress Reform movement before she met him, and that was no doubt a factor in their mutual attraction. Constance wore "artistic" gowns and divided skirts, an important statement for women of the era, for Dress Reform was closely linked with the early feminist movement. She was an educated, intelligent, gracious woman who was also a gifted linguist, author of children's stories, amateur photographer, and frequent letter-writer. Recent manuscript discoveries suggest she may have written or co-authored one of Wilde's fairy tales, published as "The Selfish Giant." She was also an exceptionally kind and loyal wife who truly loved Oscar even despite his terrible failings as a husband. And he was passionately in love with her, at least during the early years of their marriage, and even after the terrible scandal with Lord Alfred Douglas, he still maintained a deep affection for his wife. That is the most surprising aspect of reading this very engaging, well-written biography. Constance and Oscar wrote to each other frequently, except during his imprisonment when he was only allowed to receive one letter every three months. But even after it was evident that he was a practicing homosexual, Constance did not press for divorce. She maintained the possibility of reuniting with Oscar almost until her death, and not merely because of the scandal of divorce or to keep her family together. She genuinely loved him and cared for him, and even during their separation when he was released from prison, it was Constance who provided him with money to live upon. She never wanted to see him destitute, even when contemplating divorce at the suggestion of her friends. It seems that she could live with his homosexuality, if only he would give up the dreadful Douglas, who is the real villain of the whole tragic tale.

Just as Constance has been treated too cavalierly by Wilde's many biographers, Douglas is often treated too kindly, perhaps because it does appear he was the love of Wilde's life, but a very unhealthy and damaging kind of love. Strikingly handsome, a minor poet of some talent, openly homosexual, and damaged by his brutal father and unhappy childhood, Oscar fell hard for Douglas, known as "Bosie" from a childhood nickname. Together they embarked on a decadent lifestyle, spending money recklessly, living in hotels, and consorting with lower-class young rent boys. It is hard not to see Bosie as a terrible influence on Wilde, although by his own admission, Wilde was addicted to the danger and thrill of sleeping with young male prostitutes (which he famously referred to as "feasting with panthers.") Before Bosie, Wilde's homosexual companions were men of his own social class, slightly younger, but well-educated, literary, or artistic types like John Gray and Robbie Ross, or college boys who admired the famous and fabulous Oscar Wilde. Had he restricted his male companionship to his own social class, he might not have had such a spectacular downfall, for a sticking point at his trial was what business Wilde could possibly have with all those young, uneducated, lower-class boys.

But plenty has been written about Oscar; this book is about Constance. Strikingly beautiful in a haunting, pre-Raphaelite sort of way, Constance caught Oscar's eye. They had been introduced in Dublin, through Constance's brother Otho. The tender letters Wilde wrote to Constance illustrate his passionate love for her. That she was a woman of some means probably didn't hurt, as Oscar's own family was stretched to the limit after his father's death. But their union was one of compatibility. Constance had been courted by other men but could not imagine being married until she fell hard for Oscar. They had long intellectual discussions, and she felt he dropped his persona when they were together. Often she has not been regarded as Wilde's intellectual equal, but clearly she could hold her own, and if she was not quite as brilliant as he, it is only because Wilde's intelligence was considerable (he took at first at Oxford and won the prestigious Newdigate Prize for poetry).

The interesting thing about their marriage is that they so often lived apart, and not merely by Wilde's choosing. Both were frequent travelers, staying in friends' country houses and travelling the Continent. And when their children were born, they, too, were sent to stay with friends, often separately. It seems rather odd to a modern reader, that this family of four so often resided for months in separate locations, and their youngest son Vyvyvan was sent to stay with friends when he was only five years old. Even when they were in London and Constance and the children were at the Tite Street house, Oscar took rooms at local hotels, supposedly to work on his plays away from the ruckus of family life, but increasingly, to spend time with other men and especially Bosie.

What went wrong in their marriage can only be speculated. There is some evidence that they ceased having sex after the birth of their second child. It was a difficult pregnancy and there may have been complications that made sex impossible for Constance aferwards. Too much is made of a letter of Wilde's in which is describes his miserable, pregnant wife and how she has changed from a slim young maid to a bloated, perpetually ill woman. Photos taken after Vyvan's birth reveal that she was still a beautiful woman with a trim figure, but there is no question but that ill health began to plague her. It has also been speculated that Wilde's meeting Robbie Ross, a precocious young man who briefly lived with them at Tite Street, possibly Wilde's first male lover, opened the door for his homosexual relationships which were his true orientation and that he subsquently lost interest in his wife. No one will ever know, but this book makes it clear that Oscar and Constance continued to maintain affection for each other, even during his imprisonment for indecency, as evident by their frequent letters to each other.

Probably what destroyed their marriage more than even Wilde's homosexuality (for he would certainly not be the only married homosexual in Victorian London), was his dreadful spendthrift ways, mainly spurred on by Bosie's extravagance. Constance patiently paid his debts and supported him in between his publications. He served as editor of a magazine called Woman's World for a short time, but it was mainly his later plays that provided income for the family. Constance's own income was much more steady and dependable. Oscar often relied upon it, and understandably, Constance objected to subsidizing Bosie's extravagance. While imprisoned, reconciliation seemed likely if only Wilde would agree to give up Bosie. It is not known if Constance made any ultimatums about Wilde's homosexuality. She just wanted Wilde to give up the man who was such a terrible influence upon him, who ruined his marriage, destroyed his career, and eventually led him to an early grave. But even after he was released from prison, Wilde could not abandon the company of Bosie. It was a terribly dysfunctional relationship. And Wilde's friends, thinking they were doing him a favor, began to press to obtain life interest in Constance's income, which meant that Wilde would receive if she died before him, instead of going to their own children. That was the finale wedge that made reconciliation impossible, even though Oscar himself specifically stated that he did not want to take Constance's life interest, but his friends insisted upon pursuing it. Ultimately, it made little difference. After changing her surname and living abroad, Constance died in Italy, possibly due to gyncelogical complications from a failed surgery. She had been unable to walk for long periods, confined to her bed, and perhaps felt surgery was her only chance, but unfortunately she did not survive the procedure. Oscar was heartbroken, but it was too late. Constance was buried in Genoa, and Oscar survived in genteel poverty, living on handouts from friends, for only another two years.

The determination of Constance Wilde is evident in the chapters about the troubled years of Wilde's trials, imprisonment, and the difficulty afterwards. We cannot imagine how appalled Victorian Londoners were about Wilde's homosexual behaviour with rent boys. Had he been a murderer, he wold probably have been less reviled. The Wildes were shunned by many who were formerly their friends. Even the children were rejected from the schools where Constance intended to place them. Money was always an issue, for Constance's income was not substantial, and without any money from Wilde's writings, they were living a much diminished life from the upper-class existence in Tite Street. Yet Constance held her family together. Had she lived, she certainly would have wanted the children to have a relationship with their father, but after her death, their guardian Adrian Hope, and old family friend, tried to bury Oscar's very existence. He refused to allow them to collect royalties from their father's writings, a disservice which Robbie Ross, Oscar's most loyal friend, corrected later in life, after Hope had died. Though not described extensively in this bio, Robbie was Oscar's most devoted friend. It is he who acted as his literary executor after his death, gathering the copryights to his work, spending years paying off Wilde's debts, so that his estate was in credit by the time he was able to approach the Wilde children and provide a connection to their late father, as well as income from his works.

Despite Wilde's terrible downfall and unhealthy relationship with the destructive Bosie, he had very good friends in Constance and Robbie. Both did right by him to the end of his days. He must have been a remarkable man, to garner such loyalty even in people he had wronged. Constance will always be regarded as a reflection of her much more famous husband, but this book reveals her to be a unique personality, a woman of intelligence and determination, who made the best of a terrible situation and displayed unfailing kindness and loyalty to her famously troubled husband.

[The Book Queen]

This looks absolutely fascinating. I've read almost all of Wilde's works and thoroughly enjoyed the lot, and I know he suffered horrible humiliation and treatment in the latter part of his life, but I somehow doubt he was a particularly pleasant person. Perhaps reading this will give me more insight into his character; for such a prolific writer he remains an elusive man.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oscar Wilde and his beautiful young wife, Constance, were very much in love, and feted in both London and Paris. Constance, like Oscar, edited journals, wrote stories, and gave lectures. Her writing was highly regarded, and she gave Oscar a huge amount of help with his stories. Both Oscar and Constance were highly concerned with the Women's Movement, and Oscar edited the journal, Women's World.

They mixed with high society, and great artists like the actress, Sarah Bernhardt. They invited these people to their 'House Beautiful' for fashionable parties.

Tall and slim, Constance played a large part in the Rational Dress Society. This society promoted healthier clothing for women, wanting to get rid of dangerous and restrict corsets, for example. Constance's exotic and colourful fashions were somewhat eccentric for her time, but many women admired them.

Constance and Oscar had two lovely little boys, and the couple's 'artistic marriage' seemed the epitome of success and happiness. Then Oscar met Bosie...

Franny Moyle's Constance rightly shows that Oscar Wilde's wife should'nt be regarded as just the famous playwright's wife, and needs to be studied in her own right. She certainly succeeded in becoming the 'New Woman', widely admired in Victorian and Edwardian society.

Moyle also dispels several myths about Constance. Many of these were the opinions and gossip of Oscar's friends. Even today, they're powerful rumours. I don't want to write about them here, however, because it may spoil the ending of the book.

I wanted to read this for a long time, and it didn't disappoint me. Moyle's account of Constance is well-written, and she certainly relates the heartbreaking story of Wilde's fall and the aftermath in such a moving way that it will drive many to tears.

[Kerry · Rating 3 out of 5]

While the idea of researching a less-written about historical figure is compelling, this book is an excellent reminder why biographers concentrate on particular personalities and leave the others to the sidelines. The woman "behind the man" makes an interesting premise . . . but only if the woman is interesting herself.

I found myself wondering whether it was the author's fault for not making Constance Wilde's life more intriguing or if the writer should be praised for doing what justice to her she could. However, I do wonder if the author really even liked her subject matter. While Moyle repeatedly remarked upon Constance Wilde's intelligence, creativity, and literariness, it was difficult to be convinced. Either Moyle wrote the book out of obligation because she had already conducted the research or she lacked the ability to fully persuade this reader that Constance was worth writing about.

In the end, I didn't really like Constance. She seemed a superficial trend follower who wasn't as independent as moyle would like us to believe. While the times dictated some of her actions, many of her interests and preoccupations seemed frivolous at best, and her letters were unremarkable.

For readers who enjoy descriptions of period fashion and interiors, the book delivers, at least in its initial stages, and it also fills in some holes of Oscar Wilde's story. However, Moyle makes speculations about missing pieces to the Constance Wilde puzzle without providing enough evidence, but doesn't speculate enough about an important aspect of Constance's life--namely, her health. In today's terms, what was Constance Wilde suffering from? Did the writer not consult doctors with a list of her symptoms to come to some conjecture about what impaired her walking and writing?

[Carmen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Constance was truly an admirable human being. I truly admire her loyalty to Oscar Wilde, her intellectual curiosity, her adventurous spirit for the time. I found the references to the Rational Dress Society fascinating and it is a subject that I would like to delve into further.

They were a fascinating couple and it is truly tragic and Bosie entered his life and destroyed it so completely. True Oscar had always been a homosexual but his other friends such as Robbie had respected his home life.

What a tragic ending to both lives

[Simsim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant research work, brilliant woman. She should not be known as only the wife of Oscar Wilde.

[Igenlode Wordsmith · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent biography that not only manages to cover well-known events from a fresh slant in a way that makes them appear new, but which makes a convincing case for Constance as an interesting subject in her own right.

[Courtney Doss · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oscar Wilde is one of the most well known writers in the world; his novel The Picture of Dorian Gray is a classic tale of hedonism and homoeroticism, while his plays are hilarious works of genius. Oscar is also a gay icon, having cavorted publicly with men and written thinly veiled stories of homosexual love to the point that he was eventually jailed for it. In the modern era, his unjust imprisonment for his sexuality gives Wilde a rather favorable reputation, his tomb in Pere Lachaise inundated with lipsticked kisses of the adoring public. What a lot of people fail to consider, however, is his wife. While he was romping around with his lover and sent to prison for it, his wife was dealing with the backlash. In this unique biography, Franny Moyle gives an identity to the often overlooked Mrs. Wilde and shows that she was a pillar of strength and constancy fitting her name.

This book was, honestly, amazing. I was so interested in the subject matter that I was constantly trying to come up with ways to bring it up in conversation. Alas, nobody in my life really shares the same fascination I do with niche historical figures and so I've had to keep my many, many thoughts to myself. Moyle writes in a way that is very approachable and makes what could be a dull topic into something fascinating.

With that said, it wasn't perfect. There were a couple of weird choices on behalf of the writer that had me a little put off. For one, there is a chapter where Moyle ends on what appears to be a cliffhanger, stating that a letter was sent to Constance by her brother Otho regarding some shameful secret from Oscar's college years. The fact that that secret is not shown because the letter detailing it doesn't exist anymore seems as though it was deliberately hidden from the reader to drive them to continue on to the next chapter. I was disappointed to find that the big reveal I had somewhat anticipated was met with "the letter is lost but here is how we know that Constance replied." Secondly, while this book is entirely pro-Constance to the point of incredible bias, there is one passage that I took issue with wherein Moyle states that Constance "exacerbate(d) matters by allowing the chasm between her and her husband to widen." The fact that Oscar Wilde had up to that point taken up with his boyfriend and been publicly rude and critical of her is somehow made to be of an equal blame to the fact that Constance needed to stay away from her emotionally abusive husband for her mental health. Yeah, no. I don't agree at all.

With that said, I can't deny that this book made me more invested in Constance and Oscar than I ever have been in another real life couple. As horrible as Oscar could be, there was so much nuance and pain involved in the situation that I really, really rooted for him. Constance did too. Despite all of the public shame, the infidelity, the pain that he caused her, she still loved him and wanted the best for him. And he loved her too. She wasn't just some mask for his real homosexual identity. Perhaps his sexuality was purely homosexual. He had multiple relations with women, and there is so much evidence that he truly loved Constance in the way a husband should love his wife. Even without that, though, there is ample evidence that he genuinely cared about and respected her if not as a lover than at least as a friend and partner. However, he was under the influence of a toxic relationship, addiction to alcohol and debauchery and excess, and riding the high of his own ego. He routinely spit in the face of the family he and Constance built but there was also a not insignificant part of him that, when divorced from his toxic connections, genuinely loved Constance and their boys.

It is such a complex situation, one where Oscar was undoubtedly a bad guy. He had a taste for uncomfortably young men, was cruel to Constance and indifferent to his responsibilities to her and their children, and awful with money to the point of massive indebtedness and professions of entitlement to everything Constance had. And yet, as Moyle shows, when it was good, it was good. He doted on his wife and supported her interests up until he met Bosie. He showed genuine remorse when removed from Bosie's influence, and even advised Constance against his own interests while he was in prison because he knew that he couldn't be trusted to control himself enough to provide for their children properly. This book broke my little heart because it was just so damn sad. I wish both Oscar and Constance had gotten better out of life.

All in all, because of the flaws I consider this a 4.5 out of 5, but I was so fascinated with the topic that I think I will give whatever Moyle writes in the future a chance to enchant me.

[Sam · Rating 3 out of 5]

The genius of Oscar Wilde might have been glorious, but a hundred years later it still has the power to blind. Brilliancy can let you get away with a lot; Wilde, the martyr on the altar of English hypocrisy, seems always to escape criticism. Harold Bloom remarked that Wilde "was right about everything." Christopher Hitchens, contrasting him with Gore Vidal, concluded that he, Wilde, was "never cruel." Stephen Fry's fondness for Saint Oscar is well known, and hardly unwarranted. But even the deepest of scholarly studies have rarely accounted for the pain suffered, and inflicted, by Wilde and his intimates in that famous decade of 1890. Plenty of fingers, starting with H. Montogomery Hyde, through George Orwell and right up to Fry, have wagged at a society that tolerated the public school fagging system and covert buggery as they damned the very idea of consensual male eros, but something in the tragically perfect arc of Oscar's story makes it easy to forget that real hearts and flesh besides his own were crumpled in the writing of it. The feeling that his martyrdom was practically fated, many biographies seem to say, should be encouraged; to introduce the misery Wilde himself inflicted would be to let daylight in on the magic of a 'life of genius'.

Franny Moyle is not so easily taken in. Her brisk but lovingly detailed study of Constance Wilde, wife to Oscar, is not the first of its kind, but still provides a potent counterpoint to the likes of Richard Ellmann and Arthur Ransome; against the Oberon-like Oscar, here Moyle sets down a life decidedly and quite exceptionally human; no Titania she, but all the more fascinating for it. Constance was a creature of fads, trends, and of postures to quite the same degree as her husband, but seems throughout to appear, of the two Wildes, to be the one you would REALLY like to go out to dinner with.

She was a figure of human rather than mythic wit. Constance had no interest, it seems, in turning her life into her art as Oscar did, and spent most of her life in a back-and-forth dash between the raising of their two children, establishing herself as a minor but admirable figurehead in such proto-feminist collectives as the Rational Dress Society, and turning her hand to faltering but fascinating journalism and short fiction - even the mere excerpts of her stories in the collection 'There Was Once' read like the equal, hell, the superior of Oscar's own fairy stories. Moyle displays their pairing as a marriage built on three pillars; as a loving bond, as an aesthetic pose (on both sides), and as a business arrangement, and her biography is an energetic dance between the three points that she, by and large, makes appear graceful and enriching.

However, she still falters worryingly at key junctures. Too often, the description of an event or occasion, significant or not, is allowed to be followed by long baseless assumptions, usually of Constance's emotional reactions to her unravelling marriage. When Moyle does make use of surviving correspondence to illustrate a point she does so neatly and without fuss; left to guess, however, and she will spend whole paragraphs on what can only feel like unfounded speculation. Worst of all, her style, usually concise, unornamented, even terse in pleasant contrast to her florid subjects, will sometimes collapse in on itself. Sure, the internet is overloaded with reviews accusing editors of work-shy neglect, but the sheer number of typos and errors in the published edition really may warrant it this time - not to mention the unexpiated use of the phrase 'accidentally on purpose', which probably warrants having the manuscript proof thrown at someone's head in punishment.

[Berna Labourdette · Rating 4 out of 5]

He sido fan toda la vida de Oscar Wilde, he leído casi todo lo que escribió. Y ha sido un  agrado descubrir en esta biografía a Constance Lloyd, su esposa: mujer feminista, culta, con voluntad y coraje poco común e injustamente desconocida. Este libro le hace justicia e ilumina mucho de su vida, como escritora y activista, la vida en común que construyeron con Wilde (la mítica historia del ingreso a la Golden Dawn) y luego los años de la separación. 

[Yara (The Narratologist) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this book over two years ago, but only started reading it last week. The cover design of my edition, bright purple with a pink swirly font, combined with a title that sounds like it was ripped straight from the headlines of a gossip glossy really put me off initially (although come to think of it, the gossip columns played an important part in the story of the Wildes). Still, curiosity got the best of me in the end, and I’m glad it did. We all know what happened to Oscar Wilde, but the story of Constance is one that is seldom told and deserves to be heard.

Moyle has set out to show that Constance was an interesting person in her own right, so much more than just “the betrayed wife of.” Constance Lloyd turned from a cripplingly shy woman from an abusive household into a women’s rights activist with a strong independent voice, a much admired beauty, a fashion icon, a scholar, gifted linguist, and children’s author. She wrote articles on the importance of comfortable clothing for women, joined a secret society dedicated to the occult, held radical political beliefs… But all of this is overshadowed by her husband’s trial and conviction, which forced her to move abroad with her two children, away from prying eyes and judgment.

This biography does not gloss over Constance’s failings as a mother and Oscar’s nasty remarks (“Women are so petty, and Constance has no imagination”), but also repeatedly emphasises that, for a long time, they were very much devoted to one another and thought to be the perfect match by everyone who met them.

I have some qualms with the way Moyle draws biographical conclusions based on the fictional works of both Constance and Oscar and she dwells on details of interior design far too much for my taste, but overall this book is an interesting read for anyone interested in Oscar Wilde, Victorians in general, or the women history has forgotten. After all, it’s very telling that many of the reviewers on Goodreads write that they didn’t even know that Wilde was married.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having been a Wildephile since I was a teenager, I've seen his life through the eyes of detail-oriented biographers, of his friends, of his son, of his detestable nemesis Bosie. After all this time, this book gave me a close introduction to his wife Constance. And COnstance's life revealed things I had not yet seen.

What a lovely couple they were when first married! So romantic, supportive and arty.

What their shared life eventually became reminds me of the saying that no man is a hero to his valet: no biography is complete until it fully describes the experience of a former spouse. What a piteous crash-and-burn the Wilde marriage became-- yes, of course because of his enthusiastic experiments with homosexuality but even worse because of his disloyalty, his self-absorption, and his lack of appreciation for the loyalty that Constance maintained over the years.

His charm, his brilliance, and his kindness were undeniable, but his bad decisions in human relationships are at least as sad as his suffering in prison.

Adam Gopnik wrote of Wilde (NEW YORKER magazine, May 18, 1998):
"He didn't just want to have his cake and eat it. He wanted to have his cake, eat it, franchise a bakery chain with his name on it, defend the cause of pure pastry, and somehow get credit for both abstinence and epicureanism. Just like the rest of us."

Except that Wilde-- as "Constance" reveals him-- seems to have never had a doubt that he was entitled to it all, no matter what. Oh Oscar, I hardly knew ye.

[Alcornell · Rating 3 out of 5]

A cautionary tale, a view of another time, told in clear if overly detailed prose and quotations from primary sources. I left the book with a real fondness for Constance, and a new and surprising sympathy for O and his sons. Those Bon mots we love from Oscar Wilde wouldn't be nearly so well known today if his wife hadn't seen to it. Nothing is so simple as it seems, is it?

[Michelle Anderson · Rating 3 out of 5]

A well written account of the wife of Oscar Wilde- clearly devoted to Oscar, she was progressive for her time, and an interesting person in her own right.. also enjoyed glimpses into London life in the late 1800’s..

[Lynn Dixon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kenny Roger’s The Gambler lyrics seem to apply to Franny Moyle’s Constance: The Tragic and Scandalous Life of Mrs. Oscar Wilde. He sang ‘Know when to walk away; And know when to run.’ This book is extremely well-researched as the factual documents are waxed together to tell the story of Constance Lloyd Wilde and her husband Oscar Wilde.

They knew each other early in life because their families were acquainted in Ireland. They married though her brother tried to warn her of some disturbing news that he had received regarding Oscar. They went on to become an item as a literary couple and as fashion experts. Constance promoted comfortable clothes and it helped women put down the corsets and other restrictive wear.

She was also an author of children’s stories and some of his works seemed to have been spawned from her experiences and personal stories Also, it was her family’s money that sustained them over the years as he went on to literary heights as a playwright and writer.

However, his lewd behavior with young men soon enraged a powerful father of one of his lovers and their counter lawsuits brought him to trial. He ended up in jail and the family name was ruined. She still supported him on a variety of levels and never fully gave up on him.

Constance left London and went abroad with her two young sons. She changed their last name to Holland. Her close friends and her dear brother Otho helped her maneuver the years of emotional torment and physical pain. Unfortunately, she died before the age of 40 from a botched surgery in Italy. There has been some speculation about what caused her bouts with immobility and paralysis which forced her to require medical treatment. Oscar Wilde’s fame did not recover during his lifetime and he died two years after Constance.

For some reason, she doted on their older son Cyril and often left her youngest son Vyvyan at other people’s homes for long periods of time. Yet, Vyvyan was the who became the family archivist and scribe which gave historians further insight into the lives of his parents. Should she have left sooner? Was it already too late to be free of his effects? Did she think that she could be his remedy? So many questions remain, but one thing is certain, there could not have been a him, without her.

[Mikey Bowen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very interesting read. Although sometimes hard to follow, gives a lot of insight into a less studied figure. Far more than "Mrs Oscar Wilde". Feels harder to review as I read this book for a specific reason, but I still really enjoyed it.

"That Oscar, so wrapped up in the consequences of his allowing his own life to become a work of fiction, could not see that his wife had become a poem to love and constancy, is perhaps the real tragedy at the heart of this story"

[Robert Bolton · Rating 3 out of 5]

A must for Wilde fans. Fascinating but sad.

[Shauna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well researched

Actually, it was a little too well-researched. Very thorough, but the first half is a little overdone, with too much detail about Constance's various friends and habits. You realize how great she was and what a tool Oscar Wilde was.

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

There have been a lot of books written about Oscar Wilde, but this is the first about his wife, Constance Wilde, nee Lloyd. Usually portrayed as puritanical and unforgiving, this book, which utilized a lot of unpublished letters, shows a very different picture, one of a loving, intelligent, forgiving and forward thinking woman who was a talented but forgotten writer.

Constance’s life was difficult from the start; her father died when she was young and her mother was emotionally and physically abusive. Constance thought poorly of herself and never expected to marry or make anything of herself. Thankfully, when her mother remarried, Constance was farmed out to relatives in favor of her new step-sister living with the new couple. Her life turned around at that point; she came out of her shell and became considered a beauty and a flirt. Oscar Wilde fell deeply in love with her. Letters he wrote show that the marriage was not a cover; he really did love Constance, although his idea of marriage seemed to have a lot of showmanship to it, an idealized setting for him to act in.

From fairly early in the marriage Constance and Oscar spent time apart. He went to clubs and to the theater by himself frequently; she went to visit friends and take recuperative rests and was a social activist. But they worked together on writing projects, entertained, and were a sought after couple socially. When Oscar first started having sexual relationships with men, Constance didn’t realize it at first because he’d always had close friendships with men, especially younger ones. Things might have gone on like that indefinitely, even though Oscar was starting to neglect both Constance and their sons, if Lord Alfred Douglas- Bosie- hadn’t come into his life. Unlike Oscar’s other boy friends, Bosie was not willing to share Oscar with Constance and his family. He wanted to be the only person of importance in Oscar’s life, and it led to Oscar’s social ouster and imprisonment for homosexuality. Constance and the boys had to leave England because social condemnation damned them, too.

While Bosie painted Constance as a bitch, she continued to support Oscar, both morally and financially, throughout most of his trial and prison term. She was not a vindictive woman. She did not think Oscar was evil. Her moral conscience, and probably continued love for Oscar, would not allow her to feel that way. This book finally sets the record straight on that.

It also chronicles Constance’s chronic illnesses and physical problems, her activities in the newly formed Order of the Golden Dawn and interest in theosophy, her abilities as an artist, her championing women’s freedoms (especially in the area of rational dress), and linguistic abilities. The book also points out that despite all this, she was no saint. She neglected her younger son seriously and even sent her beloved first born off most of the time (although in that era, that was fairly normal for the upper class), over spent for a lot of her married life, and made a lot of bad decisions despite the information staring her in the face. This book presents her as a multidimensional person rather than the caricature she’s been. It also shows Oscar and their marriage in a new light.

[Deborah · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was a huge relief to discover that Constance wasn't a total doormat, that she knew a nice frock when she saw one and that she was no wallflower when it came to casting off her corset. Hurrah.

Personally I am of the opinion that Constance knew exactly what she was marrying into and that her reward was the ultra exposure to society that association with Oscar brought. Very few people in upper middle class England married for love in those days - they married for position and/or money. I accept that she wasn't exactly an unknown before her marriage to Oscar but after marrying the Sunflower himself, her position as a woman of fashion and art became assured.

Oscar's crime certainly wasn't unique either. Sadly his crime was a crime against the influential,and fickle, society his frequented. He didn't play the game. He was indiscreet. He got caught. His trials threatened to expose all of his friends and anyone he knew to guilt by association. Oscar, to coin a phrase, 'let the side down'.

The way he was treated by society during his trials and after his arrest was nothing to do with his homosexuality, it was to do with him breaking cardinal rules of so called 'polite' society - one of which is, 'it doesn't matter if you are having affairs behind your wife's back. What matters is that no one should actually ever know about it. The illusion of propriety should never be smeared with actualities'.

This book was beautifully written but failed to present me with anything new or unusual - I think that if one has to be told that Constance wasn't a doormat, one doesn't know how sophisticated society in that era worked.

[Kristy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been keeping my eye out for a biography of Oscar Wilde for a while and spotted this in my local library. I didn't even know that Oscar Wilde was married! I had this image of him as a frivolous, eccentric and clever openly gay man. So he was to some extent, very frivolous and eccentric anyway but I didn't realise the lengths he went to to avoid being labelled as homosexual while at the same time bizarrely flaunting his affairs with men...Weird.

But anyway the book is about Constance who was also a very interesting character. She had to deal with some pretty bad stuff; Oscar and his ridiculous overspending (on other men, mainly the truly awful Bosie), debts and terrible treatment of her in later years and then her poor health. This is a very well researched and for the most part interesting book but I can't give it 5 stars because a few parts bored me to tears. I could have happily done without lengthy descriptions of politics (which I loathe anyway) and initiations into strange societies. As well as an insight into Oscar, Constance and their lives, this is also an intriguing insight into life in Victorian times.

[Pauline McGonagle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well-researched study from Constance's perspective. She was aptly named. We tend to focus on Oscar's poor treatment for his sexual choices and terrible end, for which of course he suffered greatly. His talent was incredible but I hadn't realised how irresponsible he was, how much harm and risk his family and children suffered from his financial lifestyle choices and absences from home.

It is also clear just how well connected and privileged their family were and how they could rely on all the country houses and seaside get-aways that ordinary folk in trouble had no access to. Who paid for the school fees and all the travel? They certainly lived well above their means but clearly it didn't being them happiness. One wonders what even greater creative pursuits Constance would have been able to enjoy if her husband had been less selfish.
That said, he has left a huge legacy of great work behind. Thanks to Franny Moyle for acknowledging the big part Constance played in contributing to that.

[Janet Ashley · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book. I am fascinated with Oscar Wilde and was intrigued by the idea of a book written from his wife's perspective. I like to read a good biography but apparently I have been spoiled by the likes of writers like Erik Larson, Stephen Ambrose and Laura Hillenbrand, who could make even the phone book interesting (to steal a line from American Idol). But Fanny Moyle somehow makes a potentially fascinating subject boring.....when I started rereading passages because I drifted off as well as skimming whole pages I knew to cut my losses. The only small regret I have is that after I returned it to the library, I read other reviewers opinions and many said it got better after the first half and she also gave a lot of information as to what happened to the family after Oscar's death. Maybe I should have stuck it out for that but there are so many other books waiting for me......

[Portia Costa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not sure what to think about this one. It's difficult to judge the quality of the writing etc because appreciation of the book is so intimately wound up in one's impression of the subject of the book, Constance Wilde and by association, Oscar.

I found it a compelling read, but it just made me realise how alien the life of these middle/upper class Victorians is to me. I feel sorry for Constance, for a lot of the things that happened to her, and the disaster Oscar inflicted on her... but she's also an infuriating character herself some of the time. She has good qualities, and some not so good ones, like anybody, and of course she's very much a product of her times and her class.

Leaves me wondering how her later life would have turned out if Bosie Douglas had been run over by a horse and cart, and Oscar had been, well, just a little bit less Oscar.

But we'll never know...

[Vanessa Meachen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't know much about Constance before reading this, and I was delighted to discover her through this book; what a fascinating portrait of her life, her relationship and her work, particularly with movements like the Rational Dress Society. She comes across as complex, intelligent and compassionate, both far-sighted and a product of her times. The book offers a very sympathetic treatment of both Constance and Oscar, while still being clear about their individual faults - it's Bosie Douglas who comes across as the least sympathetic character here, but then, there's ample evidence to that effect. I really came out of this feeling Constance deserves to be more widely known, and more than just a footnote in Oscar's story.

[Glenys · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having just read Alan Hollinghurst's novel The Stranger's Child, I could believe that the task of the biographer is impossible, but this is an excellent example of the art. Constance Wilde is a neglected figure, almost a cipher in the mythology around the tragic, self-destructive genius of her famous hushand. However, this interesting biography brings her to life as a complex, independent and spirited woman, and creates a vivid picture of cultural life in England at the end of the 19th century.

[Audrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written biography about the often tragic life of Constance Wilde. It is an excellent and well written biography which is so sad In the last few chapters - it brings you to tears. Oscar Wilde ruined Constance's life, she lost everything, but she loved him until the end. All her beliefs in Wilde had been ripped apart and she had been lied to and deceived yet she never gave up fighting for the sake if her sons. She died so young at 40 leaving her two sons bereft. Oscar Wilde died two years later. If you enjoy biographies, I would highly recommend this book.