How To Screw Up Your Kids

by Pamela Fagan Hutchins

Married couples with children divorce 40% of the time. In less than three years after that divorce, chances are both mom and dad are remarried, and probably each to someone who has kids of their own. The single most explosive and divisive issue in those marriages? Stepparenting.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we all lived in a bubble gum and sugar plum world where, without a ripple on Lake Placid, kids embraced stepparents and appreciated their contributions? Where stepsiblings didn’t compete for attention and argue over favorites and fairness? Well, we don’t.

So what we need when stepparenting is a good plan. A plan for blending, or blendering if you will, the disparate stepchildren and their parents into a chunky smoothie of stepfamily goodness. How To Screw Up Your Kids helps the parents everyone predicts will fail prove all the naysayers wrong. Through the use of practical human relations principles and the author’s own achingly honest and laugh-out-loud funny stories, readers will learn to envision and instill a unique set of family values and culture into their new household, and by God, have fun doing it.

298 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2012

About the author

I'm a USA Today bestselling mystery/suspense/thriller author and a big horse and sled dog enthusiast.

My hunky husband and I ride our beloved draft cross horses way up in the frozen north of Snowheresville, WY, where we run a rustic, off-the-grid lodge on the face of the Bighorn Mountains. When I'm not writing or riding, I'm passionate about wilderness sports, always with a couple of rescue dogs, bear spray, a mountain lion knife, and my Judge. NO ANIMALS HAVE BEEN HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS LIFE ADVENTURE (but don't sneak up on me).

I've made some lists and won some awards, yada yada. Amazon Charts Top 25 bestseller. USA Today Bestseller. The Silver Falchion for Best Adult Mystery WINNER (Fighting for Anna), the WINNERS for USA Best Books Fiction: Cross Genre (Hell to Pay, Heaven to Betsy), and others. With books "in print" of over 3,000,000, readers seem to enjoy the books—I think they have exceptionally good taste. {insert goofy grin here} Lots of them follow my show Wine Women & Writing, too, where I fangirl my favorite authors and interview them for your listening and viewing pleasure. Subscribe free at http://bit.ly/PamelaWWWR <--case sensitive.

You can read my series in any order or as standalones, but they're a lot of fun if you do them like this:

* Detective Delaney Pace (coming soon!): Her Silent Bones, Her HIdden Grave, Her Last Cry, Her Forgotten Shadow, Her Burning Lies, and Her Cold Heart.

* Patrick Flint Wyoming-based series (PG):
Switchback, Snake Oil, Sawbones, Scapegoat, Snaggle Tooth, Stag Party, Sitting Duck, and Skin & Bones. #9 coming in 2026.

* The Jenn Herrington Wyoming Mysteries (PG-13):
BIG HORN, WALKER PRAIRIE, and RED GRADE coming in 2026.

* What Doesn't Kill You Super Series:
1.Caribben-based Katie Connell (PG-13): Saving Grace, Leaving Annalise, Finding Harmony, and Seeking Felicity
2. Texas-based Emily Bernal (PG-13): Heaven to Betsy Earth to Emily, Hell to Pay
3. Texas-based Michele Lopez Hanson (PG-13): Going for Kona, Fighting for Anna, Searching for Dime Box
4. Wyoming-based Maggie Killian (R, language): Live Wire, Sick Puppy, Dead Pile (plus shorts Buckle Bunny and Shock Jock)
5. Caribbean-based Ava Butler (R, sexual situations): Bombshell, Stunner, Knockout

I also have a children's book series featuring Poppy, the world's best grandfather, and Petey, his blind Boston terrier.
Free starter library https://pamelafaganhutchins.com/maili...

If after all that you still want to learn more about my books, my podcast, or me, then God Bless Ya.

There are many ways: My website and its blog. The aforementioned newsletter. Email me: Pamela at PamelaFaganHutchins dot come. And you can follow me around the web:

Website: https://pamelafaganhutchins.com
BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/pamel...
Pamela's Posse for Readers: https://www.facebook.com/groups/pamel...
Facebook http://facebook.com/pamela.fagan.hutc...
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/author/pamelafa...
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Twitter http://twitter.com/PamelotH
Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/pamelafaganh...
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/pamelafaganhu...
Threads: https://www.threads.net/@pamela_fagan...
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/pamelafaganhu...

And, finally, to learn more about my fellow SkipJack Publishing authors, visit: http://skipjackpublishing.com/.

Reviews

[Margaret · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a great read! The stories that the author shares as they relate to the principles that she outlines as her road map for raising her children are wonderful. Unlike other "How To" books, this isn't an instruction manual of things to do or ways to do them, but more a collection of one families life experiences that show not only parenting done right, but also instances where the wrong/not-quite-right decisions were made by family member(s) and other external forces (i.e. school administration, teachers, e.g.) and how those instances were used as learning and teaching moments. And of course doing so with the use of humor makes this a very easy read!

It was refreshing to read a book that was entertaining while it offered many opportunities for introspection and thought about my own child-rearing methods. Although there are many differences in my family to that of the author's, the underlying values and principles that she uses to parent by are the same pillars that are used in my own (sometimes more successfully than others). I especially like the emphasis on honesty, truthfulness, accountability, and support - all of which are woven in to all the principles outlined and the stories that are told.

One particularly insightful part of the book was when the author realizes that she has embraced the role of "nurturer" of her family and the realization that this is not a submissive role, but rather one that requires strength to be able to champion and support all those around her. Loved this insight!

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone raising kids!

I won this book as part of a Goodreads Giveaway.

[Rhonda Erb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pamela has done it again. Always inspiring, always entertaining, always relative. As a woman with a blended family, I can relate to so many of her stories, and find both comfort and encouragement in them. A self-described over-achiever, Pamela takes her roles as wife, mother, and step-mother as seriously as she takes her professional roles...Seriously enough to have a plan in place to succeed...A plan that she shares with the reader (helpful information!). Through humorous and engaging stories she reveals that she also has the grace to NOT take herself or life's curve balls TOO seriously. This book is not only entertaining, but shows that you CAN balance the drive to succeed with enough grace and love to discover that you are a part of a wonderful, perfectly imperfect family...blended or not! A MUST READ for any parent.

[Michelle Hutchins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Learn while you laugh, really. The author just has such a great way of making you feel like you are in the middle of the story. There are a lot of wonderful ideas about making family memories but the great thing is that instead of just telling you that you need to make memories, it gives you great ideas of what to do and what NOT TO DO through hilarious stories.
There is a cross country trip with all kind of quirky adventures and misadventures some planned some not, early on in the family "blendering" (as Ms Hutchins calls it) There is discussions on athletics and chores and cell phones and all of the real stuff of life, but instead of being lectured to, you are led through it, through her stories. You are hooked from the first chapter.

[Isabel Cardinale · Rating 5 out of 5]

As with three of her other narrative non fiction works Ms Hutchins does a wonderful job weaving great suggestions and life lessons into heartwarming and often hilarious tales of real life experiences. If you read her bio you will see that Ms Hutchins is a lawyer and HR professional and some of this (the good stuff) comes through in the way she approaches and organizes her efforts towards a goal. IN this case a goal of making a blended family of kids feel safe, loved and supported in a house that has clear rules and responsibilities as well as consequences. If you read my other reviews you will see though that this is not a lecture, it is not a boring, how-to manual. It is a hilarious ride through a crazy imperfect life full of love, great successes and spectacular failures.

[Eric · Rating 5 out of 5]

The truth, as in real stories about real people, is almost always better than fiction. And this is a perfect example.
This is just a wonderful book. Yes it is helpful to learn from someone else's successes and spectacular failures, AND it is also simply a really fun read. It's so nice to hear things from a perspective that is not preachy or written like a text book. Instead it is written with humility and grace.
Whether or not you have kids around to screw-up doesn't matter. The book will have you laughing out loud.

[Renae Laird · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would recommend this book to any woman whose life is touched by stepparenting. Pamela’s writing is authentic and entertaining. It’s a great reminder that we’re all doing our best, and that it will be good enough (principle #34). A couple of my other favorites: Live your plan. Someone always moves your cheese. Get over it. And… Give it time, and meanwhile, give thanks!

See the complete review here: http://renaelaird.com/monthly-book-re...

[Jess · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a fantastic book. Even though I'm not trying to blend a family I thought this book was fantastic for anyone to read. I am a single mum though so this nook was possibly helpful for the future.
The author made me laugh so much I even read parts out to my mum and some of things that the author's family did made me remember my family memories and things that have been said.
All in all I recommend this book to anyone and everyone that loves thier family

[Poppy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book to be very helpful in understanding so many common issues that confront those of us who are attempting to develop a loving close knit family. With the many stories in the book I believe there is something of value for everyone. Even The Tim Tebow story! I highly recommend reading this book.

[Dionne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fabulous book for anyone in a relationship with another person and their children. Hutchins hilariously teaches us excellent life lessons in great parenting (and step parenting) but not in the way you expect. She uses real stories and mistakes that have helped her learn and shares all the trials and triumphs of doing so, making you laugh the whole way through.

[Ct Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am from a blended family, sometimes it can be hard, this book really helped me deal with some of the issues that come with it, and I must say, I will never let my daughter bake a cake without supervision again. XD

[Susie · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a grandmother of a blended family I really enjoyed all of the funny stories. It is so neat to read how two strong parents have worked, planned, and then were able to blend for a very happy family unit.

[Michele A. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everyone part of a blended family (and almost everyone is today) should read this book. You will laugh as well as learn. GFood book. I had someone read this book to me and I think it being read aloud made it even funnier.

[Samantha Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love all of these hilarious stories! They are so heart warming and brings me to tears at te same time! Love, Love these books.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, positive and insightful look into "blendered" step-families.