What do you think?
Rate this book
Handboek voor Asperger-vrouwen: over het maken van verstandige keuzes
Life with Asperger Syndrome can be a challenge at the best of times, and trials and tribulations that neurotypicals take in their stride can leave Aspies perplexed and unsure of how to solve problems and keep themselves safe, both physically and emotionally.
Liane Holliday Willey explores the daily pitfalls that females with AS may face, and suggests practical and helpful ways of overcoming them. The focus throughout is on keeping safe, and this extends to travel, social awareness, and general life management. With deeply personal accounts from the author's own experiences, this book doesn't shy away from difficult issues such as coping with bullying, self-harm, depression, and eating disorders. The positive and encouraging advice gives those with AS the guidance to safeguard themselves from emotional and physical harm, and live happy and independent lives.
This book will be essential reading for all females with Asperger Syndrome, their friends and families, and all professionals whose work brings them into contact with females with AS.
Liane Holliday Willey explores the daily pitfalls that females with AS may face, and suggests practical and helpful ways of overcoming them. The focus throughout is on keeping safe, and this extends to travel, social awareness, and general life management. With deeply personal accounts from the author's own experiences, this book doesn't shy away from difficult issues such as coping with bullying, self-harm, depression, and eating disorders. The positive and encouraging advice gives those with AS the guidance to safeguard themselves from emotional and physical harm, and live happy and independent lives.
This book will be essential reading for all females with Asperger Syndrome, their friends and families, and all professionals whose work brings them into contact with females with AS.
198 pages, Paperback
First published August 15, 2011
42 people are currently reading
567 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
November 28, 2011
The title is incredibly misleading. I thought this book would be full of useful information, but it was more like a memoir. A memoir of things that happened to the author because she has Asperger's and how to recognize if you're the same way. She acknowledges that we're all different, but then goes into detail only on what she's experienced. The focused travel tips were pretty much the only new and useful information I got from the book.
August 2, 2015
2.5 stars. Long story of how I ended up reading this book, as I am not the target audience (women who have Asperger’s-related safety issues), but it was an intriguing read. Reminded me of a few of my former students and their frustrations and confusion navigating the neurotypical world. A couple of her suggestions felt overblown and paranoid to me, e.g., staying on the phone with hotel staff as you check under beds and in closets each time you get a new hotel room; not wearing your hair in a ponytail or braid while traveling because it’s easier to grab. The final chapter on spirit was also a bit lackluster. Apart from that, an interesting installation in the literature about life on the spectrum. I thought her metaphors were generally well-developed and helpful for explaining how Asperger's really feels.
Also, I loved how unapologetic she was about emphasizing that the dominant culture is not necessarily better; it's just something that a person with Asperger's should be prepared to navigate. As a corollary, just because something violates currently accepted social norms doesn't mean it's inherently wrong. My favorite passage from the book, hands down:
“I’m not sure why, but apparently [neurotypicals] are prone to think the following topics are not meant for casual discussion:
* political viewpoints
* personal fears and insecurities
* past interpersonal relationships
* religion
* personal finances
“Some even believe these topics should never be raised at functions of any kind. Too bad for me, because some of my most favorite obsessive interests are in the list, but I’m learning (after decades of offending people without meaning to) that I should avoid these topics unless someone brings them up and seems wholeheartedly interested in an open debate. But even then, I’ve made some past faux pas by not knowing when to end the debate and close the discussion. It’s clearly up to you to discuss whatever you like, but be warned these subjects stir up something in [neurotypical] people I can’t figure out.”
Also, I loved how unapologetic she was about emphasizing that the dominant culture is not necessarily better; it's just something that a person with Asperger's should be prepared to navigate. As a corollary, just because something violates currently accepted social norms doesn't mean it's inherently wrong. My favorite passage from the book, hands down:
“I’m not sure why, but apparently [neurotypicals] are prone to think the following topics are not meant for casual discussion:
* political viewpoints
* personal fears and insecurities
* past interpersonal relationships
* religion
* personal finances
“Some even believe these topics should never be raised at functions of any kind. Too bad for me, because some of my most favorite obsessive interests are in the list, but I’m learning (after decades of offending people without meaning to) that I should avoid these topics unless someone brings them up and seems wholeheartedly interested in an open debate. But even then, I’ve made some past faux pas by not knowing when to end the debate and close the discussion. It’s clearly up to you to discuss whatever you like, but be warned these subjects stir up something in [neurotypical] people I can’t figure out.”
May 3, 2015
I was hoping for more practical advice regarding the most dangerous aspect of an autistic woman's life - other people. I don't know if it is practical or fair of me to expect advice in that regard from another autistic woman. I do think the book would be useful for young women just venturing out in the world, as they aren't jaded, bitter, old lemons like me. :p
Read
July 12, 2020Time to reclaim space on my bookshelf...
Totally forgot I had read this book a while back!
I grabbed this for a few dollars when I saw it at the op-shop because I thought it could be useful for helping me understand female aspies better but also use as a comparison to the more commonly identified traits in males.
It’s an easy read and I’m sure it is helpful for some girls and women on the spectrum but overall it’s more an introduction and from what I know of ASD, it doesn’t cover enough. Considering this was published in 2012 when there was still a huge lack of information and support for females on the spectrum, it would have met a need for some but my guess is there would be more up to date and broader scope of books for females with autism nowadays. I hope so.
Anyway maybe it will be helpful to someone else. I’m putting it in the car to go back to the op-shop, when they start taking donations again.
Totally forgot I had read this book a while back!
I grabbed this for a few dollars when I saw it at the op-shop because I thought it could be useful for helping me understand female aspies better but also use as a comparison to the more commonly identified traits in males.
It’s an easy read and I’m sure it is helpful for some girls and women on the spectrum but overall it’s more an introduction and from what I know of ASD, it doesn’t cover enough. Considering this was published in 2012 when there was still a huge lack of information and support for females on the spectrum, it would have met a need for some but my guess is there would be more up to date and broader scope of books for females with autism nowadays. I hope so.
Anyway maybe it will be helpful to someone else. I’m putting it in the car to go back to the op-shop, when they start taking donations again.
July 30, 2021
So I went back and forth a lot of how to rate this book. Basically, it’s a good introduction to a lot of the things ASD women struggle with, but suffers from being vague, dated, and generic.
I get it. It’s hard to write a book that will accurately reflect a broad spectrum of people. The solution is to write from specific experience and caveat it as your own, not attempt to generalize and make universal self help suggestions.
This book left me wanting. As a woman with ASD, it often didn’t reflect my experiences while using language like it should. A lot of the more personal and meaningful parts were left vague—I’d much rather hear a specific aspie woman’s account of how abuse was specifically hard for her than her generalizations about abuse of aspie women.
So perhaps this book is a good introduction. I personally, as someone who deeply understands and self-analyzes the issues discussed here, got the most out of the table of contents.
Do I recommend? Sure. It’s an introduction. It probably has some good advice that an aspie woman hadn’t thought of—and I find that ASD often renders “obvious” things not obvious at all. While it didn’t work for me, that’s not to say it can’t help someone else.
I get it. It’s hard to write a book that will accurately reflect a broad spectrum of people. The solution is to write from specific experience and caveat it as your own, not attempt to generalize and make universal self help suggestions.
This book left me wanting. As a woman with ASD, it often didn’t reflect my experiences while using language like it should. A lot of the more personal and meaningful parts were left vague—I’d much rather hear a specific aspie woman’s account of how abuse was specifically hard for her than her generalizations about abuse of aspie women.
So perhaps this book is a good introduction. I personally, as someone who deeply understands and self-analyzes the issues discussed here, got the most out of the table of contents.
Do I recommend? Sure. It’s an introduction. It probably has some good advice that an aspie woman hadn’t thought of—and I find that ASD often renders “obvious” things not obvious at all. While it didn’t work for me, that’s not to say it can’t help someone else.
November 5, 2017
The title of this book is misleading. Really, it describes various situations that females with ASD may experience — highlighted by the author’s own examples — and then it offers coping strategies for each category of challenge. A useful reference.
It also includes a handy introduction by Tony Attwood about girls on the spectrum and a list at the end of possible female ASD traits.
It also includes a handy introduction by Tony Attwood about girls on the spectrum and a list at the end of possible female ASD traits.
August 11, 2019
Couldn't even finish it which is rare for me. Was looking for insight but found the advice to be childish, annoying and shallow.
July 8, 2022
Misschien komt het omdat er in de tien jaar dat het boek bestaat veel ontwikkelingen zijn geweest op het gebied van autisme, maar ik vond het een flutboek. Het staat vol met eigen ervaringen en trauma’s, en de tips die erin staat zijn infantiel en gericht op aanpassen (kom op tijd op afspraken, loop er niet te slonzig bij, glimlach, etc.). Toen ik de zin “Net als iedere goede Asperger wist hij dat hij een kennisverzamelaar moest zijn (…)” las, haakte ik af. Misschien vat ik het te serieus op, maar ik vind het niet oké om onderscheid te maken tussen goede en slechte Aspergers/autisten. Ik bladerde het boek nog even snel door om te zien of het beter zou worden, maar ik wist genoeg toen mijn oog viel op het hoofdstuk ‘Waarschuwingssignalen: heeft dit meisje of deze vrouw misschien Asperger?’ Really? Alsof dat potentieel gevaar oplevert?
Nee, niet mijn soort boek.
Nee, niet mijn soort boek.
January 19, 2018
Liane Holliday Willey has given readers practical advice in "Safety Skills for Asperger Women" How to See a Perfectly Good Female Life". The advice goes beyond how to prevent oneself from being taken advantage of. She gives advice and ideas on how women who struggle with asperger's can feel more comfortable in social situations.
Ms. Holliday Willey was diagnosed with asbergers at these of 35 and has overcome so many obstacles in her life. She's a success story and a positive role model.
I strongly suggest this book to any woman who has struggles with asperges's. And to parents of daughters with asperges's.
Ms. Holliday Willey was diagnosed with asbergers at these of 35 and has overcome so many obstacles in her life. She's a success story and a positive role model.
I strongly suggest this book to any woman who has struggles with asperges's. And to parents of daughters with asperges's.
May 1, 2019
Interesting facts and tips from Liane Holliday Willey's experience in life.
June 20, 2023
Good book. More for younger women, but still had some useful tips.
January 16, 2016
This book is my go-to for all people who wish to understand Asperger women. Whilst the autism spectrum is most certainly a vast one, this enables people to narrow down their research to one gender. Asperger Syndrome is a very complex strand of autism, but by writing about her own experiences, Liane does a fantastic job of providing an insight into what it's like to be an autistic woman. A must-read for all Asperger's women out there - and indeed for everyone in my opinion!
June 30, 2012
A fairly useful book that covers a variety of health and safety issues that a woman with aspergers might face. The parts on spiritualism were a bit too out there for my taste, but everyone's different.
There are some very useful recipes for making your own hygienic products that contain natural ingredients for those of us with chemical sensitivities.
There are some very useful recipes for making your own hygienic products that contain natural ingredients for those of us with chemical sensitivities.
October 3, 2015
this came across to me as common sense BUT would have been VERY useful when I was more naive about manipulative people and my inability at the time to realise that not everyone up front and black and white like me. But since I've already learned the hard way with many situations illustrated in this book, for me personally it was nothing new.
May 7, 2012
Excellent and informative. It brought up a lot of memories and helped to understand past occurrences better.
February 28, 2014
What an eye opener! Every Aspie woman should have a copy on her shelf or within easy reach! Five stars!
September 8, 2014
Ok as a self-help book of the "look what I've found out" variety. Sometimes a bit too obvious and repetitive, but useful as a whole.
contemplating-its-sins
June 28, 2015Meh. This one's just not working for me.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews