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Baptism for the Dead
The perfect Mormon wife in the perfect Mormon town has a secret: she doesn’t believe in God. Her husband has a secret, too: he’s in love with another man. She’s stood by her husband for two years, tending their secrets, fading into the easy background of Rexburg, Idaho. But when she meets a man who calls himself “X,” an untidy, beer-drinking artist on a rambling sabbatical through the Western States, her resolve to be the perfect wife finally crumbles.
At first her affair with X is just another secret to keep. He’ll be gone soon, and no one will be the wiser. But she quickly realizes she can no longer be content with the structured, wholesome life of a Rexburg woman. Though she fears her husband’s reaction and the town’s rejection, she leaves to join X on his journey through the Rockies.
Amid mountains and deserts, surrounded by art and creation, she discovers the realities of eternity. But just as she is beginning to build a life without religion, a death in the family pulls her and X back to Rexburg. She must return to the place that created and confined her, this time not as the perfect Mormon wife, but as something monstrous to the people she loves.
At first her affair with X is just another secret to keep. He’ll be gone soon, and no one will be the wiser. But she quickly realizes she can no longer be content with the structured, wholesome life of a Rexburg woman. Though she fears her husband’s reaction and the town’s rejection, she leaves to join X on his journey through the Rockies.
Amid mountains and deserts, surrounded by art and creation, she discovers the realities of eternity. But just as she is beginning to build a life without religion, a death in the family pulls her and X back to Rexburg. She must return to the place that created and confined her, this time not as the perfect Mormon wife, but as something monstrous to the people she loves.
- GenresReligionLiterary Fiction
320 pages, Paperback
First published September 28, 2012
28 people are currently reading
334 people want to read
About the author
Libbie Hawker
38 books495 followersLibbie was born in Rexburg, Idaho and divided her childhood between Eastern Idaho's rural environs and the greater Seattle area. She presently lives in Seattle, but has also been a resident of Salt Lake City, Utah; Bellingham, Washington; and Tacoma, Washington. She loves to write about character and place, and is inspired by the bleak natural beauty of the Rocky Mountain region and by the fascinating history of the Puget Sound.
After three years of trying to break into the publishing industry with her various books under two different pen names, Libbie finally turned her back on the mainstream publishing industry and embraced independent publishing. She now writes her self-published fiction full-time, and enjoys the fact that the writing career she always dreamed of having is fully under her own control.
Libbie's writerly influences are varied, and include Vladimir Nabokov, Hilary Mantel, Annie Dillard, George R. R. Martin, songwriter Neko Case, and mixed-media storyteller Chris Onstad, to name but a few.
She previously wrote under the pen name L.M. Ironside (historical fiction).
After three years of trying to break into the publishing industry with her various books under two different pen names, Libbie finally turned her back on the mainstream publishing industry and embraced independent publishing. She now writes her self-published fiction full-time, and enjoys the fact that the writing career she always dreamed of having is fully under her own control.
Libbie's writerly influences are varied, and include Vladimir Nabokov, Hilary Mantel, Annie Dillard, George R. R. Martin, songwriter Neko Case, and mixed-media storyteller Chris Onstad, to name but a few.
She previously wrote under the pen name L.M. Ironside (historical fiction).
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
October 3, 2012
Full disclosure: The author and I are friends, and I beta read this book before it was released. I don't make a habit of reviewing my friends' books, but this one...this one, I had to review.
The prose alone is painfully amazing. On numerous occasions, I've opened this book to a random page just to read a few paragraphs of the prose. The only other book I've done that with is Lolita.
The subject matter (religious identity, sexual identity, breaking away from a community that's all you've ever known) is deeply emotional. It's easy to get preachy on such incendiary subjects, but the way Hawker explores them is honest and raw. There are no larger than life, perfect characters in this story, nor are there evil, mustache-twirling villains. Just good, real people whose identities clash with the expectations that have been laid on their shoulders. Even the town of Rexburg, Idaho, is a well-intentioned but deeply flawed character. Surrounded by those characters, the narrator explores her experience through eyes that are both innocent to the point of naive and profoundly blunt, exhausted, even cynical under the weight of existing in a world in which she knows she does not and cannot belong.
This is a literary novel, an emotional exploration, and its slow, methodical pace gives every action and its consequences time to unfold organically. I'm a reader who normally needs a breakneck pace to keep me interested, and slower books usually lose me. Especially if I have to put the book down for any reason (i.e., sleep, plane landing, etc.). I don't think I ever really put Baptism down. I'd physically put the book aside and move on to do other things, but it stayed on my mind, and before long, I'd meander back to keep reading. I've read the book, in its various incarnations from its early drafts, probably half a dozen times or more. When this version was released, I loaded it on my Kindle and read it again. Start to finish. In one sitting.
Bottom line? Baptism for the Dead is an extraordinary book, and I highly recommend it.
The prose alone is painfully amazing. On numerous occasions, I've opened this book to a random page just to read a few paragraphs of the prose. The only other book I've done that with is Lolita.
The subject matter (religious identity, sexual identity, breaking away from a community that's all you've ever known) is deeply emotional. It's easy to get preachy on such incendiary subjects, but the way Hawker explores them is honest and raw. There are no larger than life, perfect characters in this story, nor are there evil, mustache-twirling villains. Just good, real people whose identities clash with the expectations that have been laid on their shoulders. Even the town of Rexburg, Idaho, is a well-intentioned but deeply flawed character. Surrounded by those characters, the narrator explores her experience through eyes that are both innocent to the point of naive and profoundly blunt, exhausted, even cynical under the weight of existing in a world in which she knows she does not and cannot belong.
This is a literary novel, an emotional exploration, and its slow, methodical pace gives every action and its consequences time to unfold organically. I'm a reader who normally needs a breakneck pace to keep me interested, and slower books usually lose me. Especially if I have to put the book down for any reason (i.e., sleep, plane landing, etc.). I don't think I ever really put Baptism down. I'd physically put the book aside and move on to do other things, but it stayed on my mind, and before long, I'd meander back to keep reading. I've read the book, in its various incarnations from its early drafts, probably half a dozen times or more. When this version was released, I loaded it on my Kindle and read it again. Start to finish. In one sitting.
Bottom line? Baptism for the Dead is an extraordinary book, and I highly recommend it.
January 13, 2016
Baptism for the Dead puts us in the head a woman who has lived all her life in the well-ordered Mormon town of Rexburg, Idaho. It is a beautifully-written account of rigidly-defined religious roles colliding with the complexity of real life. Since adolescence she (who is never given a name, as much as we inhabit her psyche) has not truly believed the faith of her community, but toes the line and does all the things that are expected of her. She ends up marrying a gay man who carries his own secret, and they carve out a life together that is cordial but ultimately unsatisfying. Everything is fine until her husband's infidelity is compounded by her own attraction to an artist who comes to town and returns her passion and interest.
Libbie Hawker's attention to detail, both of the external world and in the protagonist's mind, is beautifully clear and poetic. In the hands of a lesser author this would bleed into purple prose, but I was pulled in by the intricate descriptions and language of metaphors that borrow equally from religious tradition and the sprawling vistas of the American west. As we follow our Mormon housewife's struggle through marriage, meaning and belief, we stumble with her upon brilliant insights that are remarkably fresh, even for those of us who have discovered them before.
Libbie Hawker's attention to detail, both of the external world and in the protagonist's mind, is beautifully clear and poetic. In the hands of a lesser author this would bleed into purple prose, but I was pulled in by the intricate descriptions and language of metaphors that borrow equally from religious tradition and the sprawling vistas of the American west. As we follow our Mormon housewife's struggle through marriage, meaning and belief, we stumble with her upon brilliant insights that are remarkably fresh, even for those of us who have discovered them before.
October 5, 2012
Baptism for the Dead is a short but utterly gorgeous book. I wasn't far into the second section, "Creation", that I realised I was completely in love with it. Libbie Hawker has this tremendous skill with her writing, and often I had to stop, and just re-read sections of writing, completely in awe of it.
I initially worried, as an Australian who was brought up Catholic, that I wouldn't be able "get" the pivotal facets of the book – what it means to be a Mormon, what it means to live in a community like Rexburg. Yet the book is written in such a way that I became immersed in these areas, and it didn't matter how unfamiliar I was.
Hawker has such a skill with words. In describing a scene, there's an abundance of detail, but never so much to overload the reader. It's a very fine line to walk and Hawker does it marvellously. The characters are well-fleshed out, none of them allotted into the role of good/bad, and there's sort of this imperfection about them that is absolutely perfect within the book.
I don't know if any of this review makes sense. I feel like everything I could say won't do the book justice, so I'll just finish up by saying I absolutely loved Baptism for the Dead.
I initially worried, as an Australian who was brought up Catholic, that I wouldn't be able "get" the pivotal facets of the book – what it means to be a Mormon, what it means to live in a community like Rexburg. Yet the book is written in such a way that I became immersed in these areas, and it didn't matter how unfamiliar I was.
Hawker has such a skill with words. In describing a scene, there's an abundance of detail, but never so much to overload the reader. It's a very fine line to walk and Hawker does it marvellously. The characters are well-fleshed out, none of them allotted into the role of good/bad, and there's sort of this imperfection about them that is absolutely perfect within the book.
I don't know if any of this review makes sense. I feel like everything I could say won't do the book justice, so I'll just finish up by saying I absolutely loved Baptism for the Dead.
November 4, 2019
As a former Mormon, I appeciated Libbie's beautifully written literary novel about growing up Mormon in Idaho and ultimately leaving the faith. In a few places the prose gets slightly purple for my tastes, but for the most part the poetic, lyrical style is the kind that stretches one as a reader without being burdensomely difficult.
(Sidenote: I've been feeling guilty for not posting a review of this when I read it six years ago! That was right around when I went on a several-years-long hiatus from Goodreads just out of busyness, and I've kept meaning to come back to it at some point!)
(Sidenote: I've been feeling guilty for not posting a review of this when I read it six years ago! That was right around when I went on a several-years-long hiatus from Goodreads just out of busyness, and I've kept meaning to come back to it at some point!)
September 21, 2014
I graduated with a degree in English Literature from college because I had a great high school english teacher named Dan Murphy who peeled back the layers of the great works of literature and made me realize the depths of meaning that I hadn't been seeing before. Now this may be a strange way to open a review, but I bring up my background very specifically so you know that when I say that this book belongs in a college english class, that you understand that I've sat in a lot of those classes and read a lot of those books. Now I don't say this because this book needs to be deciphered, I say this because it needs to be experienced. This is high end literature. This book is written with some of the most lush and beautiful descriptions I've ever read. It is filled with kind of emotion, thought, and depth that can't help but give you pause and make you wonder how you've never looked at the world like this. I'll admit this isn't the type of book that I would normally read, but a friend told me that it was too incredible to pass up, so I stretched outside my happy little bubble and read it, and I found myself right back in the college classroom, and I mean that in a very happy way, because I actually enjoyed my English classes. It took me awhile to read this book, and when I say that it usually means a book had trouble keeping my interest, but in this case I just couldn't read it quickly because that would have been like buying the best wine you could possibly buy and then gulping it down. You wouldn't do that with a fine wine. You'd sip it, savor the spectrum of individual flavors that have been folded into the grapes, and drawn out in the wine making process. And that's the way you have to approach this book. There are so many descriptions coming so quickly and folded into the deep thoughts and emotions that you have to take them all in slowly, so you can grasp what you're reading, and savor the skill with which it was written. This is a journey worth following, it's an experience worth having, and it's a book that you should really take the time to enjoy. I couldn't give it a higher recommendation.
May 1, 2013
You MUST read this book. This is one of the most beautifully written pieces of fiction that I have ever had the pleasure of reading. Some books are great reads and I really love those. Some, though, are not only that but also so exquisitely written that they are works of fine art, much like a masterpiece painting. Poignant, layered, deeply moving, what else can I say?
Ms. Hawker takes us into the world of Mormonism and the struggle of one woman who finds she simply cannot believe. I don't want to divulge too much of the plot here because it is like a rare flower unfolding. I don't want to spoil it. Let me just say there is heartache, loneliness, love, romance, and the awful prospect of freedom that is both exhilarating and painful. Leaving behind everything you have been taught is difficult, but sometimes we simply have no choice.
You MUST read this book. You must.
*I am also an author and, as such, I at times review other books that I have read and enjoyed. I was not asked for this review. Since I have been a reader way longer than an author, I reserve my right to praise books I enjoy and encourage others to read them. If for some reason you feel an author cannot review fairly, please ignore it and read the other ones. Thank you!
Ms. Hawker takes us into the world of Mormonism and the struggle of one woman who finds she simply cannot believe. I don't want to divulge too much of the plot here because it is like a rare flower unfolding. I don't want to spoil it. Let me just say there is heartache, loneliness, love, romance, and the awful prospect of freedom that is both exhilarating and painful. Leaving behind everything you have been taught is difficult, but sometimes we simply have no choice.
You MUST read this book. You must.
*I am also an author and, as such, I at times review other books that I have read and enjoyed. I was not asked for this review. Since I have been a reader way longer than an author, I reserve my right to praise books I enjoy and encourage others to read them. If for some reason you feel an author cannot review fairly, please ignore it and read the other ones. Thank you!
June 28, 2013
Although this may seem to be a simple tale, and not an unfamiliar one these days - stories of oppressed women breaking free of their strict religious upbringing and finding a whole wide world out there are something of a sub-genre - this stands out from the pack.
I read this book because I read the author's rant on a subject dear to my heart, and had a feeling I'd like her prose. I was wrong - I love her prose. The language in this story is what sets it apart; from the first sentence, I was drawn into a world which lived and breathed around me. The landscapes lived, the characters jumped off the page and demanded to be heard, and the message seeps into the reader's mind through every carefully chosen word.
It's a novel of ideas; it's about how religious belief can live alongside atheism; about how love isn't dependent on temple undergarments or which version of scripture one may or may not follow, and it delivers on those themes with much careful thought while never losing sight of the story.
If I have a concern, it is that I think the concept of destiny is not really resolved; the central characters skirt round the idea that they feel pre-ordained to be together without really reconciling it with their abandonment of religion, and I think I'd have liked a little more time to have passed before the pivotal moment which draws them back takes place - it all felt a little rushed; as if all the action had taken place during a two week vacation; there may have been time to let the various relationships breathe before plunging them all into crisis.
Ordinarily, then, I'd give this four stars. But, oh, that prose...
I read this book because I read the author's rant on a subject dear to my heart, and had a feeling I'd like her prose. I was wrong - I love her prose. The language in this story is what sets it apart; from the first sentence, I was drawn into a world which lived and breathed around me. The landscapes lived, the characters jumped off the page and demanded to be heard, and the message seeps into the reader's mind through every carefully chosen word.
It's a novel of ideas; it's about how religious belief can live alongside atheism; about how love isn't dependent on temple undergarments or which version of scripture one may or may not follow, and it delivers on those themes with much careful thought while never losing sight of the story.
If I have a concern, it is that I think the concept of destiny is not really resolved; the central characters skirt round the idea that they feel pre-ordained to be together without really reconciling it with their abandonment of religion, and I think I'd have liked a little more time to have passed before the pivotal moment which draws them back takes place - it all felt a little rushed; as if all the action had taken place during a two week vacation; there may have been time to let the various relationships breathe before plunging them all into crisis.
Ordinarily, then, I'd give this four stars. But, oh, that prose...
October 5, 2013
This book, this story, is just absolutely gorgeous. I doubt my words can do justice how lovely this book was. I could have highlighted the whole book it's so beautifully-written. And yet, it wasn't too dense or hard to read either. It's one you'd want to read slowly, so that you wouldn't miss a single word. You'd want to linger on the thoughts and feelings and wonder what they mean to you.
The story is delicate, raw, sad and yet so full of hope. It's about religion and faith, but it's not here to preach. It's just intensely personal, the story of this one woman and her struggle around faith and God and the afterlife. It's a love story of duty and faith and passion and self.
The reader is pulled in immediately by the rich details and history, caught up in her life on the brink of change, begging for change, and whoa boy does she get it! So many times in this I found myself clutching at my heart with a knot in my throat. So good. So deeply personal and delicate and unforgettable.
Very highly recommended!
The story is delicate, raw, sad and yet so full of hope. It's about religion and faith, but it's not here to preach. It's just intensely personal, the story of this one woman and her struggle around faith and God and the afterlife. It's a love story of duty and faith and passion and self.
The reader is pulled in immediately by the rich details and history, caught up in her life on the brink of change, begging for change, and whoa boy does she get it! So many times in this I found myself clutching at my heart with a knot in my throat. So good. So deeply personal and delicate and unforgettable.
Very highly recommended!
November 18, 2014
I picked this up having read a friend's review. I wasn't disappointed. The writing is mouth-watering at times, incredibly evocative - every sense employed in creating the images in your head. It's a moving story too and, though I struggled perhaps initially to get into it - it felt a little slow - I was soon drawn in and completely absorbed. It also taught me quite a bit about the Mormon life and the beautiful descriptions of west America enabled me to conjure up places I've never visited or experienced.
It's not a book to be read if you want action or a throbbing, twisting plot. It's a book to be read if you love language and its subtle manipulation and if you want to engage on a very human level.
It is unfortunate that there are a number of minor typos (missing letters, added letters mainly) and a few small formatting issues but these didn't detract from my pleasure in the book and I would thoroughly recommend it.
It's not a book to be read if you want action or a throbbing, twisting plot. It's a book to be read if you love language and its subtle manipulation and if you want to engage on a very human level.
It is unfortunate that there are a number of minor typos (missing letters, added letters mainly) and a few small formatting issues but these didn't detract from my pleasure in the book and I would thoroughly recommend it.
January 27, 2021
This book was a little hard to get into, but I persevered. I’ve always loved this author and have wanted to read this book. I finally got around to it and am not disappointed. Emotionally, it was a little hard to read... the main character is going through an existential crisis that I believe every human goes through. Her journey is a tough one and shows how our decisions affect those around us, those we love. Even to the end of the book, I couldn’t decide whether the decisions were the right ones. It brought up a lot of questions for me that will roil around in my mind for a long time.
July 12, 2024
I honestly love this book. I didn’t give it enough attention as I was reading it, but maybe i’ll go back again later. I love how honest it is. I love how she found a true and natural spirituality, not one contrived and controlled by man. The ending was inevitable but I was afraid she would put the guilt on herself. I was so proud of her for not doing that and for continuing on with her spiritual and human journey.
August 13, 2020
Alive hard read but uplifting
I loved this book. It was interesting to learn about the Mormon religion and how it rules all facets of its members ' lives. No wonder the main character left home! Beautiful descriptions of western landscapes, most of which I am familiar with. The transformation and self-realization of the main character was nuanced and powerful. Highly recommend.
I loved this book. It was interesting to learn about the Mormon religion and how it rules all facets of its members ' lives. No wonder the main character left home! Beautiful descriptions of western landscapes, most of which I am familiar with. The transformation and self-realization of the main character was nuanced and powerful. Highly recommend.
January 12, 2023
A very interesting book about religion that I am guessing was more or less a version of what the author went through when leaving her religion. The plot was compelling and the dialogue was very engaging, but the flowery language and long descriptions of places kind of bogged everything down at times.
December 7, 2017
I loved this book!
June 28, 2021
While I was reading , I knew for a fact I was encountering totally original material that was both fresh and exciting.
December 8, 2024
There was much about this book that infuriated me, but it was true in its symbolism. I especially liked the ending when the main character found a way to release her demons.
September 29, 2016
This novel is honestly one of the best pieces of literary fiction I've yet read. Hawker's skill with imagery describing our beautiful West is stellar and so often serves as a metaphor for the desert struggle of her lead's soul. I was dying daily at the heartbreak the author opens a window to, the experience of way too many people who've grown up in abusive or untrustworthy religious traditions (I'm blessed mine wasn't that way) and her lead's battle to break loose of all that is done in such a powerful and believable way that I was pretty much on the proverbial edge of my seat during both readings. Yes, two readings back-to-back. It was too delicious to give up so soon.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews