Beyond Winning: Smart Parenting In A Toxic Sports Environment

by Kim Payne, Luis Llosa, Scott Lancaster

These days it seems everyone has a youth sports horror story—whether it’s about a tyrant coach obsessed with his team record that only plays the best kids on the team, or a parent who publicly berates his kid for not making a goal. But should it really only be all about winning? What about having fun, learning a sport, and developing athletic skills?   Beyond Winning with Whole Child Sports  offers an alternative approach to teaching sports to kids. It deemphasizes short-term goals like winning and youth championships and discourages the introduction of adult-oriented, league-structured competition. Instead it emphasizes training techniques and coaching strategies aimed at improving core strength, balance, and creativity in aspiring athletes, using an age-appropriate four-stage timeline, based on a child’s physical, psychological, and neurological development.   Beyond Winning with Whole Child Sports  provides frustrated parents with help in the form of advice and concrete solutions to common questions, and step-by-step instructions for helping young children develop athletic ability in an environment that’s less structured while encouraging athletic and personal growth. It also reveals how to avoid bullying, trash talk, and elitism.  

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Book Club

240 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2013

Reviews

[Sam Kelley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel like every parent to a young athlete should read this book.. especially the ones in small towns pushing their children into elite programs or playing multiple sports in a season 🤦🏻‍♀️ I love sports, playing, coaching, watching my daughter play … this book was very eye opening and I learned a lot

[Allie McGuire · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 - there is good information in here. I feel some is repetitive throughout the book, maybe for emphasis. Some of the drills that were explained in the book, I feel it would be more effective to have a shorter explanation with a video on the website.

[Allison Parsons · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every coach should read it. And all the parents that probably won't.

[Shannon Hunsel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought this book was disappointing. I was hoping it might contain some studies or maybe even commentary from child psychologists or maybe even a history of how the youth sports complex got to where it is today, something, anything, fact or evidence based, but really it’s just a long opinion piece supported by the occasional anecdotal story. Any statistics that are used are provided without any kind of context. They throw out the well known statistic by now that 70% of kids quit sports, but they never delve into what any study has shown as to WHY. They take at face value it’s because the kids burn out, which I’m sure is a factor, but I’m sure there are a lot of other factors buried in that statistic too. To support the assertion that kids need flexibility (which they presumably can’t get in organized sports), the authors use a statistic about how often people change jobs these days compared to earlier times. But I think if you were to dig into that statistic you would see that the young adults in the workforce now are actually choosing to move around jobs themselves as opposed to being constantly let go and rehired. So it’s a weird statistic to use to support that point.

For what it’s worth, I actually agree with a lot of the authors’ opinions, though I think there’s probably a better balance between their proposed methodology and today’s sports world. But I don’t really need to read a book of some people agreeing with my own instincts and nothing more. Also I don’t think they do enough to address the many benefits of youth sports. The youth sports complex is a bit of a mess, but this book isn’t all that helpful unless you just feel like reading a book of opinions from someone that agrees with you with a few anecdotal stories scattered throughout.

[Taylor Lent · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whoa, this book is incredibly fascinating. Beyond Winning is well researched and is a preventative guide to the world of over competitive, intense youth sports. Payne says 70% of all kids quite sports entirely by the time they are 12. Kids are over worked, too busy & not having any fun. I thought this book was insightful & inspiring. The authors do encourage sport teams, but just give a different paradigm. Loved this book.

[Kimber Cutler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every sports parents and coach needs to read this

[Kjersti · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well-organized so I could skip over parts I wasn’t interested in. A good section on talking with your kid about trash talking.

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book should be a must read for all parents and coaches of children interested or involved in organized sports. Why is everyone so crazy about youth sports? Interesting that no one seems as concerned about their child's grades in school, as they do about what level of sports team their kid is on, or how good they are at a certain sport. Honestly, very few kids are going to college on a sports free pass, and less will make it to go Pro. So have a plan, which includes good grades. This book really helps anyone who is a crazy parent or knows a crazy parent.