Eyebags & Dimples

by Bonnie Henna

In this beautifully written work, Bonnie Henna makes a remarkable transition from actress to author with ease and flair. A shockingly naked chronicle of how her depression almost robbed her of her shine, this unflinchingly honest book recounts Bonnie's intricate journey living in constant fear of darkness. After she unsuccessfully tried to pursue her acting career in Hollywood, she was diagnosed with clinical depression. Thanks to this diagnosis, Bonnie began the painful climb back to a life of health and mental stability. This is the candid account of her new life trek.

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[Hloni Dlamini · Rating 5 out of 5]

mental health is real

[Cassie · Rating 5 out of 5]

First read of 2019 🥳🥳📚📖
I’ve been meaning to read this book for a while now and I’ve finally gotten around to it. Such a raw, gripping and brutally honest read. Thank you Bonnie for sharing your truth with us. I’ve always been a fan of your works but reading your life story about how you battled and overcame abuse growing up then dealing with mental health issues makes me appreciate you all the more. You ma’am are a star, don’t ever change. Stay awesome and God bless you always 🙏🏽❤️😍🥰😘🤗

[Siyamthanda Skota · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of the things that make autobiographies stand out from memoirs and biographies is that subjects are expected to reveal all. Whether it’s interesting or drab, good or bad, it doesn’t matter readers just want all the details to come out in an autobiography. And that’s exactly what Eyebags and Dimples (An autobiography) does. Described as “Bonnie’s shockingly naked account of how her depression almost robbed her of her shine and how she continues to fight this darkness” the book is indeed a naked account of the short life she’s lived up to so far.
Bonnie Henna is well known for being a child star back in the days (as a TV presenter) and a well established actress. From the age of 13 years she managed to pull a happy face on our TV screens as if all was well back home even though she came from a very troubled and unhappy household. But all was actually not well. She has always been followed by darkness right from her childhood up to her adult life. Moving to America to try and pursue her acting career in Hollywood, Bonnie terribly fails to make it into being a “star” she left South Africa hoping to become. As things don’t work out the way she expected them, profound depression settles into her and she’s pushed closer to the edge. But luckily she’s diagnosed on time with clinical depression before falling and losing herself completely.
It’s almost difficult to believe that she wrote the book herself because it is so well written. And I don’t mean that in a patronizing way, please. What I am trying to say is that it is not quite common to find TV stars moving from doing their TV work to writing their stories in such a compelling manner and with such ease. Each and every chapter in Bonnie Henna’s book is totally absorbing and almost leaves a lump in one’s throat.
In the book Bonnie doesn’t blame anyone for her “illness” but rather asks this fundamental question: Having endured the most heart wrenching and depressing period of your life, how do you then own your story and move forward peacefully when you finally find out what the problem is? And as much as Eyebags and Dimples is not a self-help book, anyone with a troubled soul can use Bonnie Henna’s story to acknowledge their pain, deal with it and move on.
The way her mother treated her as a child is horrifying and one gets the feeling when she wrote certain parts (if not the entire book) of the book she was in absolute tears. The stories of abused children are quite common in our societies and even though one is vividly aware of such stories Bonnie Henna's story will still make you shudder with utter horror. The experience is profoundly excruciating.

[Claire Hondo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a hard book to read for me...i dont usually do memoirs or autobiographs i love to stick to fiction so yaah it was a tough read.

She bared her soul in this book though from childhood till her adulthood, from acting from a young age of 13 to modelling to being famous and all. She laid it all out and i commend her for that👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

"I could either be a victim of my past or a victor in my unfolding future. I decided i had to find my own way to win, to love and to leave it all behind, so that i could keep exploring the great opportunities that life was presenting to me." - she reached a point of self actualization and knowing that life is a choice. She started making conscious decisions abt her relationships, friendships, religion and work. Her mama was psychologically and emotionally abusive tho its draining wen ur cheerleader who is supposed to be in your corner and pampering always has negative things to say and beat u up as well its just so wrong🙅🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ to an extend that she enjoyed being beaten atleast it was some form of companionship for her she felt less lonely...(she was so damaged tjo😒) but glad in the end they mended their relationship.

Then comes Sisanda🥰.....she says a prayer for him"God please can you fix this? Can you put us on the same page and make this work ? Please can you make this guy my husband, because he's a lovely guy and i really like him." Wasnt she making a conclusion for God to accept the choice of the guy she had decided she wanted or she was just praying from a place of confidence/faith declaring what she wanted angazi🤷🏾‍♀️

Being a newly wed and having depression hit u so hard without u realizing it....shame....the hubby felt it as rejection initially until he realised that she was sick mentally....became so protective of her, supportive and patient as well(such a beautiful soul🤗). Bonnie was selfish though, she knew she suffered from something for a longtime(like she knew she wasnt well and if things were going so well she had that feeling of doom looming in on her) but didn't want to seek help(she had it under control🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️ thats wat she told herself) but i feel she deprived her husband a free happy marriage were it wasn't all about herself🤔. I feel like at times she did hurtful stuff trying to mask it all with her painful childhood or her unofficially diagnosed depression...she was just selfish nje🤷🏾‍♀️.

I would say in summary this is a book of hope, taking a leap of faith into the unknown(she was so daring and a go getter loved that about her), exploring, forgiveness and healing(her clinical depression and relations) as we travelled it all with her in this bestseller.

[Rirhandzu Rissenga · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was one of those highly recommended autobiography and it lived up to the hype I can say this is one of the good memoirs to come out of South Africa. I enjoyed Bonnie’s story and hope that she’s in a better space mentally and continues to heal.

Bonnie was so vulnerable and shared the ups and downs about her life. From her upbringing how her mother was so abusive towards them to how their grandmother was an alcoholic. I loved how she was honest about how she later struggled with alcohol and suffered from depression and later decided to clinically treat it. I loved how she shared her faith and how she found comfort in serving God, it was actually beautiful to see how they ended up together with Sisanda and how their relationship was rooted in their faith. She also shared how she got into the entertainment industry and how they had a failed attempt of making a career in Hollywood. So I enjoyed her honesty and this is a book that you can read for some inspiration about this life that there are trials and tribulations and you need to find what keeps you sane to carry on.

[Zinhle Ngidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I saw the cover of this book few years back and it was on my list since forever. I am glad I stumbled into it recently.

About the book
A very strong autobiography of one of Mzansi celebrities. Very naked with her life and her truth. She is bare in this book. She managed to leave nothing unsaid- it is up to an individual to judge or learn from her life. Maybe the characters made her a diva that never had a full smile or it was in her nature but that is how I have always viewed her on screen. In her book she shares blow by blow, like leaving nothing out how depression almost killed her and her career.

It is about her life from since she could remember at around 5 years of age, growing up in Soweto with her single mother. She lost her dad when she was around 3 months old, was stabbed to death. She shares how she grew up with a very troubled mother that once loved her but with time her (mother’s) life became a rollercoaster. She made her kids feel like a burden to her, she would physically, verbally and emotionally abuse them to a point that they found themselves protecting each other against their mother. As Boni describes her household events it is difficult not to shed a tear because it’s unbelievably painful

At the age of 13 Bonnie started her acting career and had to put on a brave face for the camera from day 1 while things at home were going south. In the book she shares all her career journey, drop out from varsity, changing men, heavy drinking and smoking but made it locally though all her jobs never ended well as she had this dark cloud that kept following her. She ended up living her life as those bitchy characters she played. Even when she met her boyfriend later to be her husband- Sisanda- it was difficult to allow herself to be loved and to completely trust.

She further shares her journey to LA where she failed and gave up after 6 months without any luck of acting opportunities abroad. When reality sank in with the help of her old friends she had to accept that she was suffering from depression. She was later diagnosed with clinical depression that almost saw her losing her life as she had started having anxiety and later caused her panic attacks.

It is after she understood, accepted her illness and started on medication that her life started to reshape again. Her ever supportive husband with his strong faith kept her through that dark cloud of her life. When she opened up to people about her sickness some judged like we normally do “Blacks do not get those, we struggle and move forward”.

Her story is very important to read not because she is a celebrity but because we have so many people that are suffering from depression and they do not know how to deal with it, they are misunderstood, they are labelled as weaklings. We are in a society where life is just too fast, divorce rate is high, child and women abuse/rape, career advancement, competition, recognition and all societal standards that give pressure to individuals. It is just a lot to take and at some point we come to a point where we cannot take it, where we cannot keep up, where we reach our boiling point and lose it.

Issues not dealt with where Bonnie’s story is concerned was a reason for her to reach that point. Although signs were there but she used her career to hide. Life also agreed with her and gave her roles where she could play out this tough cookie, a diva that cared less about what people said. She pushed people away so as her fans. She wore a “mask” that said “do not come close to me”. This was her coping mechanism that she developed from an early age due to rejection from her mother. Even in the peak of her career, she did not celebrate to the fullest because she somehow believed it will not last and that she had to keep on proving herself to the world that she is worthy.

This is one autobiography where I would say this celebrity is strong to have shared things that are on that book. When I am saying she is naked to the world, I mean exactly that.

To Bonnie for sharing this, we thank you!! You are brave!! To have a caring husband that has such faith and who persevered what you put him through during your marriage, you were blessed.

[Smangele Belebesi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written book. My opinion is that as much as we are shaped by who our parents are, at some point you need to make a decision to be better or to do better.

I'm glad she found her happiness in her pills and is now on the right path but there is a lot i don't agree with in this book, like how do you move to LA without a proper plan on how you will survive. I can admire her braveness on doing that but having a solid plan is also a good thing?

I can only imagine how her moms feels about this book and how she was portrayed because I'm sure she has her own ideas on why she was the way she was.

[Allo Love · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book , I especially like it when , illnesses/diseases/ disorders are given a face especially by recognizable/ famous faces , that way people going the same challenges feel seen. The challenges don’t seem foreign anymore , a subtle reminder that these things can happen to anyone and everyone. Bonnie was candid in this book sharing parts of herself not known to many , I feel like I know and understand her better after reading this book, she’s a person now, with feelings, shortcomings, hopes and dreams , because she was so honest and real ,this made her relate-able. Familiar. Good read.

[Lucratia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This really is a beautifully written book. I'm not much of an autobiography reader, most seem too boring and forced to me...but Bonnie told her life story in an easy, unassuming and honest manner. It really is amazing to know that she wrote this herself...I mean, how brilliant is it that people are multi talented in life!

Her life story( well, up to the point she writes the book) is marred with a lot of sadness. Although I don't think that her life was completely sad ( and I'm glad this is not the case)...it certainly was not a smooth journey for her. Most of us remember our childhood with fondness and love, but Bonnie endured so much and dealt with too much at too young an age. When she was auditioning for tv shows, I was outside skipping rope or something equally un impressing and yet I would never trade it for anything! Her adult life did not seem to want to give her a break either...from the failed Hollywood dream to the depression, adulthood was equally brutal.

But what I love the most about how she wrote the book, is that it tells me a lot about her spirit. She loved, she endured hardship, she had some happiness and she continues in the struggle that is life...in all of it, she does not blame anyone, she does not inspire sympathy or even ask for it in the reader, she's unassuming ( can't say this enough especially considering that she was a celebrity before writing the book) and she is very strong! She has a good head on her shoulder, is anchored through her spiritual beliefs and still has hope for a good future...what more can one ask for? Live on Bonnie, keep that beautiful dimpled head up and when it gets too much as it sometimes does in this things called life...read your own book with fresh eyes to remind yourself where you have been, what you have ensured and conquered and remember that, that person, the person with that much strength, faith and hope is you...and that the well from which you get that strength and courage to continue...it never runs dry!!!

[Lorraine · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a story, the book is well written, quirky and it chronicles Bonnie's journey excellently. She has crossed paths with a lot of famous people. Unlike Zozo, I don't think the Jojo incident was a cheap shot. After all, I gave him my t-shirt one year at a concert (actually, I took it off and threw it towards the stage!!)LOL!!!

I am not getting the depression angle. I feel that children learn what they live and one's self-image is shaped by the environment, culture and all those external factors. Fortunately, us humans have "WILL pOWER" which is shaped by our cognitive state, emotional state, spiritual strength, or lack thereof, and our physical self. We have the power to choose which teachings from our past we want to take with us into our future.

Having grown up in similar circumstances,(though I had a mother who maintained a positive self-image), I refused, from an early age, to let my father's psychotic tendencies become my self-fulfilling prophecy.

I found Bonnie to be a self-indulged individual and her diva-tendencies were typical Lindsay Lohan-like "the world owes me a living". I feel that she lacked coping mechanisms and would slip in a catatonic state when things didn't go her way.

The trip to LA wasn't thought through. It was instinctive rather than strategic. It is easy to be noticed in the SA entertainment industry, after all, there's only about 50 million of us.

I am glad though that she is functioning well and living her life as a whole person. I hope that she has realised that the road towards our dreams/vision is not only hard, rough and unforgiving on our heels, it is also paved with nay-sayers. At times we will feel moribund, and only a strong sense of self will fuel us.

Loved the autobiography.

[Tumelo Moleleki · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like the casual way she wrote book and I guess I understand who she was then when I found her to be uppity as media portrayed her. But I also found that I could not dislike her because there was just something about her that defied not liking her. I realise that as brave as her life is, she has weak emotional maturity (if there's such a thing). She shows impressive understanding of her motives and feelings about situations but she is still crutching on her childhood suffering. I can relate to that because I find it hard to let go of some hurtful words said to me while I was younger and things done to me. I can logically explain them to myself but my heart won't let go of the pain.

I hope she will heal and get off the meds. Cudos to Bonnie for an honest account of the events that shaped her life and who she is. Congratulations on motherhood and best of luck. I know she hosts some show with Bonang and some other lady whose name I don't know how to spell but I am not aware of anything else. I did see some article about a divorce but I never read it. I am sure a lot has happened since this account.

[Mbali Tyolo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shu! Where do I start? I cried reading parts of this book, probably because I saw myself in parts of her journey. I've taken so many lessons from Bonnie's story, and thankful that she was able to write and share it with us.

Depression exists, it is real and capable of stealing so much out of one's life, even life itself. Reading such a book is important, at least for me.

May we unlearn the myths we've accumulated about mental health. May we be gentle with ourselves and others. May we seek help when we can, and offer help where possible. May we be kind with our words to ourselves and others.

It's A Battle That Can Be Conquered.

[Mary-Anne Lekoma · Rating 3 out of 5]

I felt like the first few chapters felt rushed and the topics didn't flow well into one another. This wasn't too big a flaw for me because the story itself kept me on.
Bonnie's detailing of her childhood brought to mind my own traumas with a black mother who might have been struggling with some sort of mental illness.
This was a lovely story of someone who fought tooth and nail to be who she is. It's an account of the importance of the pillar that is spirituality and love. To love and be loved is one of the greatest gifts of being human and Bonnie certainly has her tribe in this human experience. It was pleasant to listen to Bonnie through these pages.

[Zakithi · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read the book by accident. It was an okay read. I enjoyed reading about the relationship she had with her mother and the beginnings of the relationship with her husband. I was mildly irriated by the over explanation of the township life or some of the black references. i loved how the book didnt overly dwell on any part, we got a good brief insight into the different parts of the her life.

[Lebogang · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this book twice, 10 years apart. It’s so beautifully written. Bonnie bears her entire soul and leaves nothing to the imagination. Her thoughts, feelings, emotions. It’s an important read for people wanting to get into the mind of someone who suffers from depression.

[Dide Mnguni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life deals us different cards, am sure now, each soul has a story waiting to be written and read, as part of healing and as part of saying : THIS IS WHO I AM!

[Samela Antrishi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book, Bonnie is a good writer, she writes with so much authenticity. The book is an easy read. I highly recommend it

[Musa Mthethwa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful read, honest, thought provoking. I loved it. So easy to read, so relatable.

[Maniki_021 · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the beginning of the book we get introduced to a 5 year old and involved her upbringing in Soweto with her single mother. At three months old, her father, was stabbed to death. She describes having a very disturbed mother who herself suffered depression and was abusive and refused to take responsibility. She treated her children like a burden.

When Bonnie began her acting career at the age of 13, she had to put on a brave face for the camera right away because things at home were in disarray. She describes her whole life path in the book, including her decision to drop out of college, boyfriends, industry friends, engage in heavy drinking and smoking, yet she still managed to succeed despite the fact that none of her positions were successful since she was constantly dogged by a dark cloud. She takes us through her journey in love when she first met Sisanda, the man who would become her husband, it was difficult for her to fully trust and allow herself to be loved.


She also describes her voyage to Los Angeles, where she tried for six months but was unsuccessful in finding any acting jobs abroad. She had to acknowledge that she was depressed after reality set in with the assistance of her former friends. Later on, she was identified as having clinical depression.

She did, however, expose her soul in this book, covering everything from her early performing days at the age of 13 through modeling and fame.



I was smitten. So relatable and simple to read. Reading that is lovely, sincere, and thought-provoking. Loved that she took responsibility for all her actions and owned up to them by doing something about it. What a courage, Big ups Bonnie!!!

[Tswelopele Maputla · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. Bonnie Mbuli is so vulnerable here, I love how she writes about her encounters with God, her traumatic childhood reminded me how complex mental health is, especially in how it manifests in women and creates generational trauma. She speaks so candidly about the struggles of being in South Africa’s entertainment industry. There’s a part where she recounts how she scolded a drunk crew member and ended up getting into trouble and called a prima Donna. This resonated with me so much because over a decade later, a young actress has been blackballed for similar reasons. I love how clear Bonnie is about who she is, her purpose and what she isn’t willing to sacrifice. I found parts of it humorous because she was so steadfast even in the face of adversity. It shocked me!

[Nolitha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Open and honest account of living with Depression!

Well written life experiences that Bonnie went through while suffering and getting to grips with depression. A silent killer I can relate to as I have watched my own other for years surging this silent struggle!
She is totally misunderstood and this book bares her soul and make her relatable.
I do wish she continues her journey of healing.

[Celest · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a South African girl I really related to this book and I'm so happy I came across it. Her journey was inspiring and God sent and honestly I felt closer to my flaws and embraced it when I came to an end with this book I felt as if I lost a good mentor. I loved it.

I hadn't known that the love i'd poured into a dream could turn around and become the elixir that could heal me- Bonnie Henna

[Zozo Mogoera · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read in two sittings. The book very well written. A lot of name dropping, I wish she had not included the Jojo story, cheap feel. I don't get the flu incidents, think they did not add value. I found myself praying for her & Sisa in LA & had the same kept hoping & hoping.

I am not sure i am convinced about the extent of depression. I think her upbringing is very similar to the majority of black girls in the location who grew up around that time and have been robbed of affection from mothers who were trying to make ends meet. I get it but don't think parent & the so called victim will be convinced for sure, even after reading the book, very thin line.

Not having followed her career that much, the way she wrote about her celebrity status seemed exaggerated.

I admire her relationship with God & her relentless spirit.

Well done.

[Jeanette · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did not find the book to be as dark as I heard it to be. Bonnie's childhood was contrastingly what every little girl growing up in soweto wanted and heart breakingly sad. I envied kids who went to multiracial scools when I went to my primary school ko Kasi, kids who were on TV etc. The environment at home was the opposite of her the life she lived outside of home, too sad and she captures that so well in the book. The book reflects the amount of work, time and thought that Bonnie put into this book e.g how naked can she be and also how to capture that nakedness. The book really turned upside down what and how I have thought of her and clearly shows what has driven the behavior that has been interpreted as arrogance, cold, snobbish and shallow.

Thanks Bonnie, Well Done.

[Susan Reed-Allen · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a difficult book for me to read. I feel that the marketing was misleading. I expected the story to focus more on the author’s struggle with mental illness. It read more like an odd rendition of rags to riches to rags. It was impossible not to hear the persistent bitterness in the author’s narrative, which seemed contradictory at times. The timeline was confusing and the supporting cast of characters under-developed. It is obvious that Ms. Henna has a story to tell. I suspect writing the book was cathartic for her, but the writing is amateurish and monotonous.

[Mpho Bernadette · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is very honest and I love how she is not shifting the blame to any one, she has taken ownership of her depression and decided to do something about it. I really admire the courage she had to change her norm. It is easier to live with the way things are than to have faith that something other than the norm would be better. I really enjoyed it and could not put it down.

[Charlie Tjale · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the best read for me in 2012 from South african author, some say is a story about depression but i found it as a story of a brave woman who took a journey we all shun away from, a journey to self.She cleary take us in a journey to own up our brokeness and do something about it rather than covering it.I love it and I highly recommend it.

[Tebogo · Rating 3 out of 5]

I applaud Bonnie for sharing her journey with South Africa. My hope is that many will be ignited to undertake their own journey of healing. The more people deal with the past hurts, the better our communities and our country as a whole will be.

[Felicity · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great job Bonnie girl! You had me in tears at prologue. You came into my life when your story begins at Next Models....the rest is history as they say. You have opened eyes in ways you can't possibly imagine. Well done!

[Lungile]

It was a captivating read. I also learnt a lot from her experience. Bonnie is a good writer. We need more books from her.