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The D- Poems of Jeremy Bloom
A collection of poems, written by the fictional Jeremy Bloom, discuss homework, measly allowances, boring teacher assignments, and other trials and tribulations of youth.
97 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 1992
3 people are currently reading
112 people want to read
About the author
Gordon Korman
258 books4,491 followersGordon Korman is a Canadian author of children's and young adult fiction books. Korman's books have sold more than 30 million copies worldwide over a career spanning four decades and have appeared at number one on The New York Times Best Seller list.
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
June 6, 2025
This book was originally published in 1992, it is one of two co-written with Gordon and his mother. According to Goodreads there are 3 editions of the first volume in this series and only 2 works in this series. The ending of this book hinds at a Jeremy Bloom novel in the next grade, but it appears that never happened. But I am getting ahead of myself. My introduction to Korman’s works was the 39 Clues back in 2009. Since then I have read 66 of his books including this volume, a few of them more than once. I set the goal of reading all his books about 2020. I am over half way thorough his canon, and have completed all the stand alone books and am now just working my way through the remaining series. Not counting omnibus editions I believe that as of the summer of 2025 Korman has published 109 books. With each that I read I am entertained and often challenged, and I am always entertained. My son, who is 17 often, reads these books to me or with me, and he still loves them.
The description of this volume states:
“WARNING: These poems contain the truth about school … and more!
Have you ever been assigned poetry writing as a class project? It’s what happened to Jeremy Bloom! The result is this collection of poetry.
Have you ever had trouble keeping your room clean? Thought your allowance was much too small? Suspected that all those things that are suppose to be good for you just are not? Needed the prefect excuse for coming to school without your homework?
You’ll find poems about it in this book. Poems for all seasons! Poems for all reasone!
Welcome to the poetic world of Jeremy Bloom.”
About the author’s at the back of this volume we are informed:
“Bernice Korman and Gordon Korman make up one of the only mother-and-son poetry-writing teams in the world today. Gordon's first book, This Can't Be Happening at Macdonald Hall!, was written for a seventh-grade English project. Bernice entered the business when Gordon conned her into typing it for him. Bernice lives in Thornhill, Ontario, with her husband, and sometimes with Gordon, when he's not at his New York apartment.”
We are also informed this was Korman’s 18th published book. The sections and chapters in this volume are:
INTRODUCTION
I. THE PTERODACTYL PERIOD
(September 4 to October 30)
I Can't Clean My Room
Vital Question
The Word
Wide Awake
Appeal for a Raise in Allowance
Name-Calling
Billy Rae the Dentist
Why I Was Late
II. THE STINKO-SMOKESCREEN WHIZBANGER PERIOD
(October 31 to December 21)
Honesty Is Not Always the Best Policy
Profession
Negotiating Bedtime
Taking a Fall
Answering Machine Message 28
Equipment Failure 29
For Your Own Good 30
Definition 31
The Olympian 32
III. THE WRONG BOX PERIOD
(January 2 to March 8)
The Beautiful Day
Certainly I Did My Homework
Seasons
Nutrition Report
Chores
Gridiron
Report Card Blues
The Wheeler-Dealer
IV. THE FENDER-BENDER PERIOD
(March 1 1 to April 25)
I'm Feeling Very Ill Today
Poetry Is Images
Vocabulary
The Guest List
Andrew and Andy
Mean Cuisine
A Perfect Afternoon
Be Prepared
It's Only a Tree
V. THE TARZAN PERIOD
(April 26 to June 14)
The Neutron Pants Rap
The Ballad of Arabella Hopp
How to Wake a Guy for School
On the Brink
My Chauffeur
Ambition
I Didn't
Science
I Pulled an "A"
No Boring Parts Allowed
EPILOGUE
GRADING SCALE
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
The grading scale at the back of the book states:
A+ Excellent
A Very Good
B Good
C Satisfactory
D Poor
D- Jeremy Bloom
The book begins with:
“The poetry in this book happened by mistake. The mistake was made by Jeremy Bloom, who is an expert mistake-maker.
It began with Jeremy's infamous alarm clock. Since the day he took it apart to try to make the world's first time-operated slingshot stink-bomb, it hadn't been working too well. It went off at three a.m., and then again at four. But at seven-thirty wake-up, it was sleeping almost as deeply as Jeremy.”
Jeremy was late for school and got last pick of classes He wanted Music Appreciation which was supposed to be a bird course. But ended up with Poetry and even that was a mistake. For we are informed:
“"Pottery!" he croaked, signing up in a split-second decision. It was no Snooze Patrol, but how hard could it be to make ashtrays?
It was only when he showed up in Ms. Terranova' s room that the truth hit. He had read the sheet wrong. This was not Pottery; it was Poetry. Furthermore, they didn't read it, they wrote it.
And no amount of begging and pleading to Ms. Terranova, the Principal, his parents, and God, could get him out of it.
As Ms. Terranova put it, "Anybody who could see Poetry and read Pottery needs all the English courses he can get."”
A few of my favourite poems are:
“I CAN'T CLEAN MY ROOM
I can't clean my room.
This may look completely chaotic to you,
Like a junk heap a hurricane just blasted through,
But it's neat in a way that is quite scientific,
It's orderly, sensible, truly terrific.
For instance, my homework goes under the hood
Of the race car I built that turned out not so good.
Clean socks are arranged in the box marked "keep out";
The dirty ones hang on the tip of the snout
Of my stuffed kangaroo, and its pouch is the place
For my glasses. (I'm growing some mold in the case.
It's a project for school, and I'm sure you'll agree
That we mustn't disturb it, or I'll get a D.)
I know that you're mad that I don't make my bed,
But it only gets mussed 'cause I work there instead
Of my desk, which I haven't seen since last November.
Oh, it's down there somewhere. I just don't remember
If it's under the town dump of shirts by the door,
Or the comic book library piled on the floor.
Do you need some more proof, or have you seen enough?
If I make one small change, then I won't find my stuff!
So I can't clean my room.”
“NAME-CALLING
On Monday she was Christie, and
On Tuesday she was Krysti, and
On Wednesday she was Cristee, and
On Thursday she was Kristye, and
On Friday she was Chrystey.
On not one single weekday
Was the spelling quite the same.
But on weekends, she was Bertha,
Because that was her real name.”
“PROFESSION
There's no sense planning to be
A dinosaur hunter.
They're extinct —
Which doesn't mean they smell bad.
It means they're dead.
(The dinosaurs, not the hunters.)
So they'd be wasting their time
(The hunters, not the dinosaurs.)
Better be an accountant.”
“NUTRITION REPORT
The minimum daily allowance
Of chocolate is now fourteen pounds,
Divided between Hershey Kisses,
Fudge, chocolate chip cookies, and Mounds.
Bazooka Joe gum is essential,
Tortilla chips make you much stronger,
Increase your intake of white sugar
So you can stay healthier longer.
For developing bones and good posture
It's obvious ice cream's the key,
Washed down with five gallons of cola,
Or 7-Up, not sugar-free.
Of course, you will need lots of fiber,
Like pretzels, and popcorn, and chips.
Make certain that nothing which grows in the ground
Is permitted to pass through your lips.
And this rule is terribly urgent:
We must be sure everyone eats a
Colossal amount of tomato, three-cheese,
Pepperoni and anchovy pizza.
SURGEON GENERAL'S NOTE:
It's probably a bad idea to do what this guy said.
It's excellent for gaining weight, and things like dropping dead.”
“ANDREW AND ANDY
Andrew is an angel,
And Andy is a devil.
Andy never tells the truth,
But Andrew's on the level.
Andrew is a gentleman.
So very well-behaved.
Andy's who you look for
When you find the cat's been shaved.
Andrew's kind and neat,
And always gets a summer job.
Andy's mean and lazy,
And a veritable slob.
I know them inside out, I do,
They're very clear to see.
Andrew's good, and Andy's not —
And both of them are ME.”
Each section of the book begins with an event where things go sideways and Jeremy’s relationship with his teacher, Ms. Pterodactyl, err I mean Ms. Terranova hits a bump in the road. And if followed by a series of poems.
This book is very different than anything else I have read by Korman. Or in this case Korman and Korman. It was a really fun volume. The epilogue begins with:
“Forty-four D minuses average out to a final grade of D minus. No bell curve. It is impossible to say just how much Jeremy learned in his year with Ms. Terranova, since his first and last efforts, and all those in between, received exactly the same grade.
It is interesting, though, that Jeremy commented at the end that Poetry class was "not as boring as I thought." In fact, he found the writing part "kind of fun," and intended to continue. Next year, Ms. Terranova was offering a seventh-grade course in novel writing. If a few poems could do all this to the infamous Ms. Pterodactyl, Jeremy was sure he could come up with a D-minus novel that would totally blow her away.”
So I was expecting the next volume to be Jeremy writing a novel over the school year. But based on the title I doubt that is the case. That epilogue ends with:
“Only, she wouldn't be Ms. Terranova anymore. On the last day of class, she told her students that she was going to be married that summer, and was planning to use her new husband's name. When she returned in September, she would be Mrs. Stegowitz.
As Jeremy left Poetry class for the very last time, he gave her his most sincere good wishes: "Have a nice summer, Mrs. Stegosaurus."
By Labor Day, the whole school knew.”
So maybe it is good he did not have her again to work on that novel.
This was a really fun read, both the poems and the stories about that period of Jeremy Boom’s output! I could see this being loved in the class room. Some poems are just a few lines some a few pages. Most the text flows normally but a couple is spreads across a two page spread, and one has text that flows in various line on angles across and back on the page.
This is a great read, and it is a pity it is out of print. If you can track it down well worth the read!
The description of this volume states:
“WARNING: These poems contain the truth about school … and more!
Have you ever been assigned poetry writing as a class project? It’s what happened to Jeremy Bloom! The result is this collection of poetry.
Have you ever had trouble keeping your room clean? Thought your allowance was much too small? Suspected that all those things that are suppose to be good for you just are not? Needed the prefect excuse for coming to school without your homework?
You’ll find poems about it in this book. Poems for all seasons! Poems for all reasone!
Welcome to the poetic world of Jeremy Bloom.”
About the author’s at the back of this volume we are informed:
“Bernice Korman and Gordon Korman make up one of the only mother-and-son poetry-writing teams in the world today. Gordon's first book, This Can't Be Happening at Macdonald Hall!, was written for a seventh-grade English project. Bernice entered the business when Gordon conned her into typing it for him. Bernice lives in Thornhill, Ontario, with her husband, and sometimes with Gordon, when he's not at his New York apartment.”
We are also informed this was Korman’s 18th published book. The sections and chapters in this volume are:
INTRODUCTION
I. THE PTERODACTYL PERIOD
(September 4 to October 30)
I Can't Clean My Room
Vital Question
The Word
Wide Awake
Appeal for a Raise in Allowance
Name-Calling
Billy Rae the Dentist
Why I Was Late
II. THE STINKO-SMOKESCREEN WHIZBANGER PERIOD
(October 31 to December 21)
Honesty Is Not Always the Best Policy
Profession
Negotiating Bedtime
Taking a Fall
Answering Machine Message 28
Equipment Failure 29
For Your Own Good 30
Definition 31
The Olympian 32
III. THE WRONG BOX PERIOD
(January 2 to March 8)
The Beautiful Day
Certainly I Did My Homework
Seasons
Nutrition Report
Chores
Gridiron
Report Card Blues
The Wheeler-Dealer
IV. THE FENDER-BENDER PERIOD
(March 1 1 to April 25)
I'm Feeling Very Ill Today
Poetry Is Images
Vocabulary
The Guest List
Andrew and Andy
Mean Cuisine
A Perfect Afternoon
Be Prepared
It's Only a Tree
V. THE TARZAN PERIOD
(April 26 to June 14)
The Neutron Pants Rap
The Ballad of Arabella Hopp
How to Wake a Guy for School
On the Brink
My Chauffeur
Ambition
I Didn't
Science
I Pulled an "A"
No Boring Parts Allowed
EPILOGUE
GRADING SCALE
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
The grading scale at the back of the book states:
A+ Excellent
A Very Good
B Good
C Satisfactory
D Poor
D- Jeremy Bloom
The book begins with:
“The poetry in this book happened by mistake. The mistake was made by Jeremy Bloom, who is an expert mistake-maker.
It began with Jeremy's infamous alarm clock. Since the day he took it apart to try to make the world's first time-operated slingshot stink-bomb, it hadn't been working too well. It went off at three a.m., and then again at four. But at seven-thirty wake-up, it was sleeping almost as deeply as Jeremy.”
Jeremy was late for school and got last pick of classes He wanted Music Appreciation which was supposed to be a bird course. But ended up with Poetry and even that was a mistake. For we are informed:
“"Pottery!" he croaked, signing up in a split-second decision. It was no Snooze Patrol, but how hard could it be to make ashtrays?
It was only when he showed up in Ms. Terranova' s room that the truth hit. He had read the sheet wrong. This was not Pottery; it was Poetry. Furthermore, they didn't read it, they wrote it.
And no amount of begging and pleading to Ms. Terranova, the Principal, his parents, and God, could get him out of it.
As Ms. Terranova put it, "Anybody who could see Poetry and read Pottery needs all the English courses he can get."”
A few of my favourite poems are:
“I CAN'T CLEAN MY ROOM
I can't clean my room.
This may look completely chaotic to you,
Like a junk heap a hurricane just blasted through,
But it's neat in a way that is quite scientific,
It's orderly, sensible, truly terrific.
For instance, my homework goes under the hood
Of the race car I built that turned out not so good.
Clean socks are arranged in the box marked "keep out";
The dirty ones hang on the tip of the snout
Of my stuffed kangaroo, and its pouch is the place
For my glasses. (I'm growing some mold in the case.
It's a project for school, and I'm sure you'll agree
That we mustn't disturb it, or I'll get a D.)
I know that you're mad that I don't make my bed,
But it only gets mussed 'cause I work there instead
Of my desk, which I haven't seen since last November.
Oh, it's down there somewhere. I just don't remember
If it's under the town dump of shirts by the door,
Or the comic book library piled on the floor.
Do you need some more proof, or have you seen enough?
If I make one small change, then I won't find my stuff!
So I can't clean my room.”
“NAME-CALLING
On Monday she was Christie, and
On Tuesday she was Krysti, and
On Wednesday she was Cristee, and
On Thursday she was Kristye, and
On Friday she was Chrystey.
On not one single weekday
Was the spelling quite the same.
But on weekends, she was Bertha,
Because that was her real name.”
“PROFESSION
There's no sense planning to be
A dinosaur hunter.
They're extinct —
Which doesn't mean they smell bad.
It means they're dead.
(The dinosaurs, not the hunters.)
So they'd be wasting their time
(The hunters, not the dinosaurs.)
Better be an accountant.”
“NUTRITION REPORT
The minimum daily allowance
Of chocolate is now fourteen pounds,
Divided between Hershey Kisses,
Fudge, chocolate chip cookies, and Mounds.
Bazooka Joe gum is essential,
Tortilla chips make you much stronger,
Increase your intake of white sugar
So you can stay healthier longer.
For developing bones and good posture
It's obvious ice cream's the key,
Washed down with five gallons of cola,
Or 7-Up, not sugar-free.
Of course, you will need lots of fiber,
Like pretzels, and popcorn, and chips.
Make certain that nothing which grows in the ground
Is permitted to pass through your lips.
And this rule is terribly urgent:
We must be sure everyone eats a
Colossal amount of tomato, three-cheese,
Pepperoni and anchovy pizza.
SURGEON GENERAL'S NOTE:
It's probably a bad idea to do what this guy said.
It's excellent for gaining weight, and things like dropping dead.”
“ANDREW AND ANDY
Andrew is an angel,
And Andy is a devil.
Andy never tells the truth,
But Andrew's on the level.
Andrew is a gentleman.
So very well-behaved.
Andy's who you look for
When you find the cat's been shaved.
Andrew's kind and neat,
And always gets a summer job.
Andy's mean and lazy,
And a veritable slob.
I know them inside out, I do,
They're very clear to see.
Andrew's good, and Andy's not —
And both of them are ME.”
Each section of the book begins with an event where things go sideways and Jeremy’s relationship with his teacher, Ms. Pterodactyl, err I mean Ms. Terranova hits a bump in the road. And if followed by a series of poems.
This book is very different than anything else I have read by Korman. Or in this case Korman and Korman. It was a really fun volume. The epilogue begins with:
“Forty-four D minuses average out to a final grade of D minus. No bell curve. It is impossible to say just how much Jeremy learned in his year with Ms. Terranova, since his first and last efforts, and all those in between, received exactly the same grade.
It is interesting, though, that Jeremy commented at the end that Poetry class was "not as boring as I thought." In fact, he found the writing part "kind of fun," and intended to continue. Next year, Ms. Terranova was offering a seventh-grade course in novel writing. If a few poems could do all this to the infamous Ms. Pterodactyl, Jeremy was sure he could come up with a D-minus novel that would totally blow her away.”
So I was expecting the next volume to be Jeremy writing a novel over the school year. But based on the title I doubt that is the case. That epilogue ends with:
“Only, she wouldn't be Ms. Terranova anymore. On the last day of class, she told her students that she was going to be married that summer, and was planning to use her new husband's name. When she returned in September, she would be Mrs. Stegowitz.
As Jeremy left Poetry class for the very last time, he gave her his most sincere good wishes: "Have a nice summer, Mrs. Stegosaurus."
By Labor Day, the whole school knew.”
So maybe it is good he did not have her again to work on that novel.
This was a really fun read, both the poems and the stories about that period of Jeremy Boom’s output! I could see this being loved in the class room. Some poems are just a few lines some a few pages. Most the text flows normally but a couple is spreads across a two page spread, and one has text that flows in various line on angles across and back on the page.
This is a great read, and it is a pity it is out of print. If you can track it down well worth the read!
November 25, 2018
I really enjoyed this book when I was younger, though on a reread as an adult I didn't find near as much amusement as I used to. A nice intro to poetry for younger kids though, to show that there are lots of types and forms.
July 25, 2019
If you like kiddie kitchy rhyme,
Then for you this book is fine.
Jeremy is not a nice kid,
Teasing, pranking, shirking duty.
Making excuses and complaining,
His behavior is selfish truly.
The title says it all
This book is a D-minus, y'all!
Then for you this book is fine.
Jeremy is not a nice kid,
Teasing, pranking, shirking duty.
Making excuses and complaining,
His behavior is selfish truly.
The title says it all
This book is a D-minus, y'all!
April 5, 2023
a VERY amusing book! The story itself is only a few pages... And the story is really an excuse for the collection of poems... But the poems are brilliant! This might have been targeted at grade school kids, but when at almost to 50, I got a lot of employment out of trading this!
November 15, 2019
I remember reading this in 4th grade or so. What was funny/amusing then feels annoying/grating now. Maybe these are really D- poems?
January 22, 2021
Not as good of a book as I remember. If you are looking for something short that might give you a good laugh, I suggest this book.
August 2, 2021
A childhood favorite! I especially like the poem that's a thank-you note for a bad gift.
January 22, 2016
Hilarious! Poor Jeremy Bloom, the "pottery" elective that he signs up for turns out to be "poetry"! At the beginning of each section of poems in this book, Jeremy has some kind of bad (humorous) encounter (his fault) with the teacher of the class named Ms. Terranova. Each set of poems receives a "D-" and it is up to us, the readers, to decide whether the poems deserved the D- grade or perhaps the grade was so low as a kind of "payback" from the instructor. The poems are pretty clever (and personal) and emblematic of a kid just trying to make it through a class!
Part I Pterodactyl Period
Part II The Stinko-Smokescreen-Whizbanger Period
Part III The Wrong Box Period
Part IV The Fender-Bender Period
Part V The Tarzan Period
Each part is named for the unfortunate event that happens between Jeremy Bloom and Ms. Terranova.
Part I Pterodactyl Period
Part II The Stinko-Smokescreen-Whizbanger Period
Part III The Wrong Box Period
Part IV The Fender-Bender Period
Part V The Tarzan Period
Each part is named for the unfortunate event that happens between Jeremy Bloom and Ms. Terranova.
June 15, 2012
Great book! It had a page or two to tell the story, and then the poems that Jeremy wrote. Jeremy is in a class that he did not want to be in....a poetry class because he thought it said pottery class!
October 28, 2007
I wish this was still in print!
February 5, 2009
i luved this book as a kid!!! perfect for a young grade schooler
August 17, 2009
First read this in 6th grade and absolutely loved it. And its still awesome.
February 17, 2010
I have read this book so many times and it still makes me laugh even though I'm definitely not the target audience.
December 19, 2015
I still have my copy of this book from elementary school, it's worn out and falling apart but I still love it. I should probably buy a new copy.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews