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the things i am thinking while smiling politely …
“the things i am thinking while smiling politely” is the story of the decline and break-up of a marriage as well as the consequences for close family and friends. Ama loses her sista, Kareem learns to mistrust a good friend, the siblings Ash and Beth have to fight for their mother’s affection, Till and his wife drift away from each other… Sensitively, honestly and with a special sense of humour, the woman with all these roles describes how she rediscovers herself – and not only in the positive sense.
Following years of activist work in the Black German community, Sharon Dodua Otoo continues to pursue empowerment as a theme, this time in the field of literature. Sharon weaves her observations on everyday racism and privilege into the story of a Black British woman whose marriage breaks down.
Following years of activist work in the Black German community, Sharon Dodua Otoo continues to pursue empowerment as a theme, this time in the field of literature. Sharon weaves her observations on everyday racism and privilege into the story of a Black British woman whose marriage breaks down.
104 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2012
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541 people want to read
About the author
Sharon Dodua Otoo
18 books99 followersSharon Dodua Otoo is a British writer, publicist and activist. In 2016 she was awarded the Ingeborg Bachmann Prize for her first short story in the German language. Otoo’s writing encompasses magical realism, Afrofuturism, identity issues, relationships and empowerment.
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
October 4, 2022
This novella starts with chapter 10, and ends with chapter 1. Being the conventional traditionalist that I am (lmao), I actually read it from back to front. I wasn't in the mood for something overly experimental and wanted to experience the story in its chronological order. When I reread it, I will of course read it the "right" (wrong muahaha) way, starting with the last chapter and working my way towards the first.
The narrator is a Black British woman working on a dissertation about plays; her husband is a white German named Till. Together they have non-identical twins, Beth and Ash, a girl and a boy. Perhaps one of the most interesting aspects of the novella is the development of these completely different, complex people: Ash, gentle and well-mannered, almost desperately sweet; and Beth, fabulously brash and admirable in the way she disregards the titular polite smile.
Without making this the obvious focus of the narrative, the story is embedded in the lived experience of being a Black woman in Berlin; of being a passenger on the subway in a city where she feels like a minority and is obviously being watched. The racism her children encounter at school and on the streets, not so different from that which she herself encountered decades earlier in her childhood and adolescence in Britain. My favorite part, and probably the most human and raw moment in the entire novella, is the moment when our narrator realises that she doesn't like her daughter ("It took me years to accept the fact that we simply did not like each other."), despite being her mother, she feels no affection for her. It's interesting how relentlessly Otoo explored that raw and sensitive topic. The mother-daughter relationship is one of the reasons I would recommend this otherwise quite forgettable novella!
But the narrator is certainly no mere victim. Integral to the narrative of her husband leaving her is the fact that he is leaving her for another woman - a woman living in Germany as an asylum seeker with no legal status. When the narrator calls her an "illegal immigrant" in anger, she is corrected by her otherwise sympathetic friend: "People can't be illegal". In her anger, the narrator does something that cannot be undone, and which, it is implied, has extremely harsh consequences (= leading to the deportation of the woman). In this way, the novella treads a complex and delicate line in negotiating personal injustice and structural injustice as they collide and intersect.
Thus far, I had only read Otoo in German (which means texts that she originally wrote in German, a language that isn't her mother tongue), and I think I prefer her that way. The lack of enthusiasm I feel for this novella could also be the fact that it was written 10 years ago and Otoo developed as a writer since then, or it might be that her narrative voice is just more special in German than it is in English. On paper, the things i'm thinking while smiling politely... does a lot of things right: the characters are interesting, the plot is engaging, the structure is a nice idea (who doesn't like an experimental touch?) but somehow it didn't quite translate to me/ through me. For some reason, I didn't care. And I'm sure I'll forget this little tale rather sooner than later. There's nothing that sticks.
He had stopped hoping for any show of emotional tenderness from me. And I did not even feel guilty anymore for no longer trying. I had tried. And I had failed. And it was enough now.The novella, the things i am thinking while smiling politely… (2012), describes the extremely painful disintegration of a marriage. The story is told from the perspective of an unnamed narrator whose personal career has taken her from London - where her parents emigrated from Ghana before she was born - to Berlin. Being familiar with that city, it's fun to explore my hometown through Otoo's lens – with references to certain streets and parks in Kreuzberg and hints of the "Berliner Schnauze" that is often alienating to those who have moved here.
The narrator is a Black British woman working on a dissertation about plays; her husband is a white German named Till. Together they have non-identical twins, Beth and Ash, a girl and a boy. Perhaps one of the most interesting aspects of the novella is the development of these completely different, complex people: Ash, gentle and well-mannered, almost desperately sweet; and Beth, fabulously brash and admirable in the way she disregards the titular polite smile.
Without making this the obvious focus of the narrative, the story is embedded in the lived experience of being a Black woman in Berlin; of being a passenger on the subway in a city where she feels like a minority and is obviously being watched. The racism her children encounter at school and on the streets, not so different from that which she herself encountered decades earlier in her childhood and adolescence in Britain. My favorite part, and probably the most human and raw moment in the entire novella, is the moment when our narrator realises that she doesn't like her daughter ("It took me years to accept the fact that we simply did not like each other."), despite being her mother, she feels no affection for her. It's interesting how relentlessly Otoo explored that raw and sensitive topic. The mother-daughter relationship is one of the reasons I would recommend this otherwise quite forgettable novella!
But the narrator is certainly no mere victim. Integral to the narrative of her husband leaving her is the fact that he is leaving her for another woman - a woman living in Germany as an asylum seeker with no legal status. When the narrator calls her an "illegal immigrant" in anger, she is corrected by her otherwise sympathetic friend: "People can't be illegal". In her anger, the narrator does something that cannot be undone, and which, it is implied, has extremely harsh consequences (= leading to the deportation of the woman). In this way, the novella treads a complex and delicate line in negotiating personal injustice and structural injustice as they collide and intersect.
Thus far, I had only read Otoo in German (which means texts that she originally wrote in German, a language that isn't her mother tongue), and I think I prefer her that way. The lack of enthusiasm I feel for this novella could also be the fact that it was written 10 years ago and Otoo developed as a writer since then, or it might be that her narrative voice is just more special in German than it is in English. On paper, the things i'm thinking while smiling politely... does a lot of things right: the characters are interesting, the plot is engaging, the structure is a nice idea (who doesn't like an experimental touch?) but somehow it didn't quite translate to me/ through me. For some reason, I didn't care. And I'm sure I'll forget this little tale rather sooner than later. There's nothing that sticks.
May 5, 2022
I don't think Sharon Dodua Otoo is very well-known in her home country of the UK, given that her debut novel has only been released in German so far and she is mostly known for winning the Ingeborg Bachmann Prize in 2016 when these two short stories were the only thing published by her up till that point.
These two novellas by the British-German author with Ghanaian roots are very different from each other. The first one "the things i am thinking while smiling politely" is very straight forward story about a break up told in flashbacks. Although there was little surprising about this story and there were some writing "quirks" I disliked, I found it very readable and hard to put down.
"Synchronicity" on the other hand is a story about a graphic designer who loses her ability to see color, one day at a time. Although I tend to like magic realism, this one really fell flat for me. I just wanted it to be over with and I really didn't connect to it at all. The stakes were so low and I just didn't care. The 24 short chapters and the "urgent" speed didn't help either.
These two novellas by the British-German author with Ghanaian roots are very different from each other. The first one "the things i am thinking while smiling politely" is very straight forward story about a break up told in flashbacks. Although there was little surprising about this story and there were some writing "quirks" I disliked, I found it very readable and hard to put down.
"Synchronicity" on the other hand is a story about a graphic designer who loses her ability to see color, one day at a time. Although I tend to like magic realism, this one really fell flat for me. I just wanted it to be over with and I really didn't connect to it at all. The stakes were so low and I just didn't care. The 24 short chapters and the "urgent" speed didn't help either.
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April 24, 2022
Die meisten kennen die Autorin über ihren Roman Adas Raum - eine herausfordernde Story mit vielen Metaebenen, zu der nicht jede*r einen Zugang findet.
Ich habe zunächst mit den zwei frühen Novellen der Autorin begonnen und habe beide Geschichten sehr genossen!
Vor allem die experimentelle Erzählweise und der bemerkenswerte Schreibstil haben mir gefallen. Ironisch-witzig und locker berichten beide Novellen aus dem Leben zweier Schwarzer deutscher Frauen. Familiäre Themen finden genauso Einzug in die Geschichten wie Alltägliches und natürlich der omnipräsente Rassismus.
Beeindruckt hat mich dabei, wie feministisch, intersektional und sensibel die Autorin schreibt - und sich schon 2012 auf einem Erzählniveau befand, das viele Autor*innen und Verlage selbst 2022 noch längst nicht erreicht haben.
Wer Schwarze deutsche Autor*innen supporten möchte, sollte sich dieses Büchlein definitiv näher anschauen!
Ich habe zunächst mit den zwei frühen Novellen der Autorin begonnen und habe beide Geschichten sehr genossen!
Vor allem die experimentelle Erzählweise und der bemerkenswerte Schreibstil haben mir gefallen. Ironisch-witzig und locker berichten beide Novellen aus dem Leben zweier Schwarzer deutscher Frauen. Familiäre Themen finden genauso Einzug in die Geschichten wie Alltägliches und natürlich der omnipräsente Rassismus.
Beeindruckt hat mich dabei, wie feministisch, intersektional und sensibel die Autorin schreibt - und sich schon 2012 auf einem Erzählniveau befand, das viele Autor*innen und Verlage selbst 2022 noch längst nicht erreicht haben.
Wer Schwarze deutsche Autor*innen supporten möchte, sollte sich dieses Büchlein definitiv näher anschauen!
November 20, 2022
A compelling novella that asks questions about heritage, home and belonging while telling a relatable and real story about a break-up.
The things I am thinking while smiling politely is the story of the disintegration of a marriage, told from the perspective of a Black British woman who lives in Berlin. She remains unnamed, but we get to learn her husband's name: Till, a white German man. They also are parents to the young twins Beth und Ash, who are as different as they could be – one soft and gentle, one tough and headstrong.
Through the eyes of the protagonist we navigate through a city that feels both familiar and alienating. For me, who never had to live somewhere where I really stood out, this was a very interesting reading experience. The protagonist looks different to most people she's surrounded by and we unfortunately have to realise that the racism that her children are confronted with at school doesn't differ much from what she experienced as a kid herself when she was still living in London.
Otoo made an unconventional structural choice: she tells her story backwards. We begin with chapter ten and end with the first one. The final blow is delivered first and and afterwards we learn how things came together. It feels like a bomb going off and the reader being the detective that has to piece the crime scene's puzzle pieces together. At the same time the chapters running down feel like a countdown to us understanding everything. It's a provocative choice, which I thought was very interesting. It'd be interesting to read this again – backwards this time – to see how it affects the experience.
I really enjoyed how all elements were weaved together. After all, big themes are tackled here and as the activist and feminist that Sharon Dodua Otoo presents herself as it's easy to assume that she feels passionate about those topics. And still, she smoothly combines her messages into an effortlessly flowing narrative that has an almost journal-like, spontaneous quality to it. I was particularly impressed with her approach to the subject of how personal wrongdoings sometimes clash with structural injustice and how that can complicate navigating through this very difficult word.
I actually gave this novella four starts when I first read it, but it's been four months since I read this and I'm actually having difficulty remembering the finer nuances and details of the story, which makes it harder for me to feel as enthusiastic about it now. I preferred this to Synchronicity, the author's other novella, but with both stories I've read now I feel like she's got a strong and engaging narrative voice, which will definitely make me keep an eye out for what she'll be up to next.
The things I am thinking while smiling politely is the story of the disintegration of a marriage, told from the perspective of a Black British woman who lives in Berlin. She remains unnamed, but we get to learn her husband's name: Till, a white German man. They also are parents to the young twins Beth und Ash, who are as different as they could be – one soft and gentle, one tough and headstrong.
Through the eyes of the protagonist we navigate through a city that feels both familiar and alienating. For me, who never had to live somewhere where I really stood out, this was a very interesting reading experience. The protagonist looks different to most people she's surrounded by and we unfortunately have to realise that the racism that her children are confronted with at school doesn't differ much from what she experienced as a kid herself when she was still living in London.
Otoo made an unconventional structural choice: she tells her story backwards. We begin with chapter ten and end with the first one. The final blow is delivered first and and afterwards we learn how things came together. It feels like a bomb going off and the reader being the detective that has to piece the crime scene's puzzle pieces together. At the same time the chapters running down feel like a countdown to us understanding everything. It's a provocative choice, which I thought was very interesting. It'd be interesting to read this again – backwards this time – to see how it affects the experience.
I really enjoyed how all elements were weaved together. After all, big themes are tackled here and as the activist and feminist that Sharon Dodua Otoo presents herself as it's easy to assume that she feels passionate about those topics. And still, she smoothly combines her messages into an effortlessly flowing narrative that has an almost journal-like, spontaneous quality to it. I was particularly impressed with her approach to the subject of how personal wrongdoings sometimes clash with structural injustice and how that can complicate navigating through this very difficult word.
I actually gave this novella four starts when I first read it, but it's been four months since I read this and I'm actually having difficulty remembering the finer nuances and details of the story, which makes it harder for me to feel as enthusiastic about it now. I preferred this to Synchronicity, the author's other novella, but with both stories I've read now I feel like she's got a strong and engaging narrative voice, which will definitely make me keep an eye out for what she'll be up to next.
December 15, 2021
I'd probably have to read this again (maybe start with the last/first chapter this time?) but this was a very interesting way to construct a story. Maybe closer to how we sometimes conceptualize big things after they have happened. Otoo's writing style is so charming, I'm even more excited to read Ada's Raum now.
March 11, 2020
erneut gelesen - der Struktur wegen. Ein so gutes Beispiel für stringentes Rückwärts-erzählen!
March 5, 2021
"Anyways, my principles did not get the better of me.
Or I got the better of my principles.
Or I became more principled.
Whatever.
Otoo writes this story from the end to the beginning. My blood boiled multiple times while reading the things I am thinking while smiling politely... The sheer white privilege that would come off in waves from the other characters onto Kareem, even from her own husband (a white man). I found it to be a quick sad yet humorous read. As a reader, you emphasise with Kareem as she steers through her divorce. The look at motherhood in this book shows that it's not all sunshine and butterflies, but it's hard work and misunderstanding. Each chapter starts with different "shrapnel" thought which was very sad but also funny. I would have loved to see one of the characters scream those things at each other, just to feel something. the things I am thinking while smiling politely... is a page-turner that makes you feel for the characters, especially Kareem as she battles life with all its negativity.
October 22, 2016
This novella would be great to read in one sitting (I split it into two).
As a British woman living in Germany, I loved being able to relate to some of the protagonist's experiences of the country and I could really "hear" her talking in my head. For such a short book, the story is wonderfully complex and each character is clearly drawn - other authors would have made this into a full-length book. A little gem - klein aber fein, as you might say in German.
As a British woman living in Germany, I loved being able to relate to some of the protagonist's experiences of the country and I could really "hear" her talking in my head. For such a short book, the story is wonderfully complex and each character is clearly drawn - other authors would have made this into a full-length book. A little gem - klein aber fein, as you might say in German.
October 16, 2019
A really enjoyed this window into a person's life. As a black British person living in Berlin, I related with the main character. Navigating through her life as she experiences a divorce, despite never experiencing a divorce I empathised with her suffering.
January 24, 2020
Habe die deutsche Übersetzung gelesen. Die Geschichte wird in vielen Rückblenden erzählt. Die Hauptperson, eine Britin ghanaischer Herkunft in Berlin, sucht ihren Platz. Findet sich als Mutter von Zwillingen, als Autorin. Und muss erleben, wie die Beziehung zu ihrem Mann Till zerbricht.
December 17, 2022
Novella one: it was a little all over the place and muddled in the events. Mostly I must admit didn't really care about the people. It was a fast read though.
Novella two: I really got into this story and the character, such imagination and gripping events.
Novella two: I really got into this story and the character, such imagination and gripping events.
January 23, 2019
Clever, quick read. And a Berlin story. Enjoyed it.
July 20, 2024
fand die erste novelle besser als die zweite
January 13, 2024
[2.5 stars] I picked this up wanting to learn something given recent events, but maybe that was the wrong mindset going into it. The sharp humor helped nudge the book along, but I think I was expecting more intensity in general in the internal monologues.
May 22, 2020
Hätte das Buch gern gemocht, aber leider gab es mir weder sprachlich noch in der Ausarbeitung von Handlung und Figuren viel. Alles ein bisserl zu grob geschnitzt, zu vereinfachend, sprachlich nicht sehr gewandt - was zum Teil aber auch der Übersetzung geschuldet sein könnte. Drei Sterne für die Ideen beider Geschichten, den perspektivischen Blick auf Alltagsrassismen und formal mochte ich bei der ersten Novelle, wie sie aus Szenen mit offenem Anfang und Ende zusammengesetzt ist. Oje, fühl mich immer als müsse ich mich entschuldigen, wenn ich ein Buch nicht mochte. ^^
March 31, 2021
My favorite part of reading "Synchronicity" was realizing that I stumbled over the fact that the narrator is parthenogenetisch, but not that she lost her ability to see colors and gained the ability to sense them in other ways. I inadvertently bought these in German, which makes me curious about how the original English would have been, but it is a beautiful translation and two really wonderful works. So many layers of how to read it, and be touched by it. I'd love a spin-off of "die dinge..." based just on Bethany and Ash's perspectives of growing up in Berlin.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 16, 2014
Wonderful little novella. I loved the central narrative device. I couldn't put it down, a page-turner that creates a rich environment with little words. On the simplest level the story of a broken romance, but also much more - a slice of the Black experience in Berlin.
May 11, 2015
A wondeful novel on relationships, self-experience and the struggles of black europeans. The story evolves and gets stronger the further it takes you into the mind of the protagonist and back into her recent past...
It's definitely worth reading!
It's definitely worth reading!
August 4, 2014
Maybe a little bit too much of self-pity in a way sometimes, but a strong piece of literature that raises hope of receiving more good books of Sharon Otoo in the future.
February 3, 2017
3.5 stars. Many great passages full of humor and observations. But I struggled with the experimental structure and the overload of topics. Well, I just liked "Synchronicity" better.
May 17, 2017
Hoffentlich werde ich als Weiße dem Buch in der Rezension gerecht
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews