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Fat Vampire #1
Fat Vampire
From the author of "Unicorn Western" comes a story of fangs and fast food…
When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn't make fun of him, it's just his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a thousand-year-old vampire.
And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.
As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire -- too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead -- he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race.
Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.
When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn't make fun of him, it's just his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a thousand-year-old vampire.
And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.
As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire -- too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead -- he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race.
Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.
196 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 29, 2012
868 people are currently reading
2385 people want to read
About the author
Johnny B. Truant
193 books692 followersJohnny B. Truant is an author, blogger, and podcaster who, like the Ramones, was long denied induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame despite having a large cult following. He makes his online home at JohnnyBTruant.com and is the author of the Unicorn Western series, the Fat Vampire series, The Bialy Pimps, and a handful of other properties and growing every week.
You can connect with Johnny on Twitter at @JohnnyBTruant, and you should totally send him an email from JohnnyBTruant.com if the mood strikes you.
You can connect with Johnny on Twitter at @JohnnyBTruant, and you should totally send him an email from JohnnyBTruant.com if the mood strikes you.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 568 reviews
January 3, 2018
A potato chip of a book. Quick and easy to read, although the problem solving at the end relied too heavily on a complex plan going perfectly correctly under what you might call battle conditions, which isn’t believable.
It’s also slightly unpleasant for me as a woman reader to see women through the eyes of a straight male hero who kneejerk objectifies them, although he does try to rise above this.
I get the feeling the rest of this series will be the hero beating challenges due to his bulk by being mentally clever. And I bet a thin, beautiful, smart, go-getter of a woman will fall for him inexplicably despite his essential laziness as a being (prior to turning, he watched tv, ate a lot and went to work. He did nothing else to contribute to society and had no interests or relationships.)
So, it’s the trope of a couch potato who wins battles by being brainy but not changing his essential laziness of being or his physicality. He has done absolutely nothing to earn his enhanced mental and physical abilities (or any woman’s respect) aside from passively agreeing to be turned into a vampire when he was about to die. So, it’s a book about enjoying unearned privilege. Which is a profoundly male fantasy in our culture.
It’s also packed with fat shaming, mostly aimed at our hero, but also via self loathing. Plus, it becomes quickly clear he’s fat through eating way too much and never exercising. This isn’t the case with all fat people (in particular women) IRL, so it unpleasantly underscores a misapprehension our culture has about fat people in general.
And yet, the writing moves swiftly along, carrying you vaguely amused to the end. Hence my potato chip analogy.
It’s also slightly unpleasant for me as a woman reader to see women through the eyes of a straight male hero who kneejerk objectifies them, although he does try to rise above this.
I get the feeling the rest of this series will be the hero beating challenges due to his bulk by being mentally clever. And I bet a thin, beautiful, smart, go-getter of a woman will fall for him inexplicably despite his essential laziness as a being (prior to turning, he watched tv, ate a lot and went to work. He did nothing else to contribute to society and had no interests or relationships.)
So, it’s the trope of a couch potato who wins battles by being brainy but not changing his essential laziness of being or his physicality. He has done absolutely nothing to earn his enhanced mental and physical abilities (or any woman’s respect) aside from passively agreeing to be turned into a vampire when he was about to die. So, it’s a book about enjoying unearned privilege. Which is a profoundly male fantasy in our culture.
It’s also packed with fat shaming, mostly aimed at our hero, but also via self loathing. Plus, it becomes quickly clear he’s fat through eating way too much and never exercising. This isn’t the case with all fat people (in particular women) IRL, so it unpleasantly underscores a misapprehension our culture has about fat people in general.
And yet, the writing moves swiftly along, carrying you vaguely amused to the end. Hence my potato chip analogy.
September 21, 2015
Loved this vampire tale. Clever,fresh,innovative and just plain fun. Great characters
that are well written and well developed.
Looking forward to the rest of the series.
that are well written and well developed.
Looking forward to the rest of the series.
February 28, 2014
Entire Plot Hinges on Single Weakness
While you have to appreciate anyone who could create a obese vampire protagonist with insecurity issues instead of the runway gorgeous vampires who have incredible sex while sparkling, the plotting was not cohesive or tightly crafted. It seemed that the book was written to showcase the tribulations of a fat vampire without any real change in Reginald's emotional intelligence. No character changes at all in this book.
I would be so forward as to say that this was the author's successful attempt at making money by doing exactly the opposite of the current trend, without putting a huge amount of time into characterization or plotting.
The twist at the end rests solely on a fact that the author pulls out of thin air, making things extra convenient for our heroes to get the desired results.
This money making scheme clearly worked because there are six books of fat vampire stories and they all have lots of 5 star gushing reviews.
Bottom Line: If you want a well written story with three dimensional characters and tight plotting - go elsewhere. If you have some time to waste and want to wallow with a fat vampire, go ahead, this book is for you.
While you have to appreciate anyone who could create a obese vampire protagonist with insecurity issues instead of the runway gorgeous vampires who have incredible sex while sparkling, the plotting was not cohesive or tightly crafted. It seemed that the book was written to showcase the tribulations of a fat vampire without any real change in Reginald's emotional intelligence. No character changes at all in this book.
I would be so forward as to say that this was the author's successful attempt at making money by doing exactly the opposite of the current trend, without putting a huge amount of time into characterization or plotting.
The twist at the end rests solely on a fact that the author pulls out of thin air, making things extra convenient for our heroes to get the desired results.
This money making scheme clearly worked because there are six books of fat vampire stories and they all have lots of 5 star gushing reviews.
Bottom Line: If you want a well written story with three dimensional characters and tight plotting - go elsewhere. If you have some time to waste and want to wallow with a fat vampire, go ahead, this book is for you.
February 9, 2014
How has no one thought of this idea before?
Everyone knows that when a person becomes a vampire, they stop aging, remaining locked forever in time. So what happens if you're morbidly obese when you get turned? What if the normal superpowers that most vampires get, like super speed, only serve to make you about as fast as a regular human? This is the predicament of Reginald, the titular character of Johnny B. Truant's delightful take on the vampire genre, who just can't seem to catch a break.
As a person of the larger persuasion myself, I am very sensitive to the mockery of fat people. Mr. Truant, however, has created a protagonist who is endearing and intelligent, whose physical imperfections are not (too often) played for laughs, but used as bona fide plot points. (How can he feed on the living when most of them can still outrun him?)
Crucially, Reginald is not a buffoon. He might be fat, but he's also the smartest guy around, and he uses his smarts to do what others of his kind can't.
The title sounds like a cruel joke, but as I said, this book is a solid, if short, read. A couple of times the author glosses over subplots that I wish he'd spent more time on, but it's not a fatal flaw.
I understand Mr. Truant his written five sequels, for a total of six Reginald adventures. I look forward to reading all of them.
Everyone knows that when a person becomes a vampire, they stop aging, remaining locked forever in time. So what happens if you're morbidly obese when you get turned? What if the normal superpowers that most vampires get, like super speed, only serve to make you about as fast as a regular human? This is the predicament of Reginald, the titular character of Johnny B. Truant's delightful take on the vampire genre, who just can't seem to catch a break.
As a person of the larger persuasion myself, I am very sensitive to the mockery of fat people. Mr. Truant, however, has created a protagonist who is endearing and intelligent, whose physical imperfections are not (too often) played for laughs, but used as bona fide plot points. (How can he feed on the living when most of them can still outrun him?)
Crucially, Reginald is not a buffoon. He might be fat, but he's also the smartest guy around, and he uses his smarts to do what others of his kind can't.
The title sounds like a cruel joke, but as I said, this book is a solid, if short, read. A couple of times the author glosses over subplots that I wish he'd spent more time on, but it's not a fatal flaw.
I understand Mr. Truant his written five sequels, for a total of six Reginald adventures. I look forward to reading all of them.
August 19, 2018
Kind of funny. Kind of filled with stereotypes. Unique plotline but not a series I see myself continuing.
May 21, 2014
This book explores the all-important question of why all vampires are gorgeous, toned and buff. It does a pretty good job of answering it as well.
Along the way, we get to know Reginald, the fat vampire of the title, who discovers he sucks at pretty much all the stuff other vampires are good at. However, he also discovers he can play the piano better than anyone, read a book in about ten seconds and out-think everyone, ever. He's also a big softy.
Fat vampire is very easy to read and that's a compliment. It flies along easy enough and makes you want to read more. The characters are fun and easy to imagine and the action is nicely described.
My only criticism would be that it felt a bit slight. I like books I can get my teeth into (snigger) and this was more of a snack.
I would give it three and a half if possible, just because I wasn't drawn to Reginald. Yes, he used his smarts to win out in the end and he's lovely to people who deserve it, but I never felt as drawn to him as I wanted to.
Finally, there was a lot of info dumping about the Vampire Nation and vampires in general. It was necessary for the book to work, but it was a little overkill in some places.
I struggle to give any book a tough review, but I think Johnny can probably handle it :)
I would recommend this book, but I can't decide at the moment whether to buy the next.
Along the way, we get to know Reginald, the fat vampire of the title, who discovers he sucks at pretty much all the stuff other vampires are good at. However, he also discovers he can play the piano better than anyone, read a book in about ten seconds and out-think everyone, ever. He's also a big softy.
Fat vampire is very easy to read and that's a compliment. It flies along easy enough and makes you want to read more. The characters are fun and easy to imagine and the action is nicely described.
My only criticism would be that it felt a bit slight. I like books I can get my teeth into (snigger) and this was more of a snack.
I would give it three and a half if possible, just because I wasn't drawn to Reginald. Yes, he used his smarts to win out in the end and he's lovely to people who deserve it, but I never felt as drawn to him as I wanted to.
Finally, there was a lot of info dumping about the Vampire Nation and vampires in general. It was necessary for the book to work, but it was a little overkill in some places.
I struggle to give any book a tough review, but I think Johnny can probably handle it :)
I would recommend this book, but I can't decide at the moment whether to buy the next.
December 28, 2017
It should go without saying that this wasn't a serious vampire book. Most of those are boring, which is why I seldom read them, but how could I pass on this one? This is the first in a series and while it wasn't written as a stand-alone, it did end well.
Reginald is an obese adult who was an obese child. He was bullied all through school and couldn't wait until school ended so the bullying would stop but that didn't happen. He gets tormented regularly at work. He has no friends there but he tries to be nice with the late-night guy Maurice. Next thing you know, Maurice has turned Reginald into a vampire. This was strictly an accident but now the education begins. Reginald has a lot to learn and it's not easy to stalk and kill prey when you are severely out of shape.
I had fun with this story and the characters were quite likable. I'll read more in the series over time. Recommended for people who want their monster book to not be gruesome.
Reginald is an obese adult who was an obese child. He was bullied all through school and couldn't wait until school ended so the bullying would stop but that didn't happen. He gets tormented regularly at work. He has no friends there but he tries to be nice with the late-night guy Maurice. Next thing you know, Maurice has turned Reginald into a vampire. This was strictly an accident but now the education begins. Reginald has a lot to learn and it's not easy to stalk and kill prey when you are severely out of shape.
I had fun with this story and the characters were quite likable. I'll read more in the series over time. Recommended for people who want their monster book to not be gruesome.
June 25, 2020
3.5 rounded up!
September 3, 2021
Reginald is a 350-pound man who is picked on or scorned by many co-workers, except for the goth boy Maurice who works nights. I think we all know where this is going. Even after he is "turned," Reginald still has a tough time because while his abilities are enhanced, his size is not different. The reader roots for Reginald because he is an underdog, who must adapt quickly or face the consequences.
Will he survive? The fact that this is the first installment in a series of six (which has inspired a show on Syfy) suggests that it's a good possibility.
Although this has some very comic moments, it gets serious quite fast.
Will he survive? The fact that this is the first installment in a series of six (which has inspired a show on Syfy) suggests that it's a good possibility.
Although this has some very comic moments, it gets serious quite fast.
June 18, 2023
L'ho divorato! E' stata davvero una bella lettura con una fusione tra vampirismo e bullismo nei confronti delle persone che non rispettano i canoni di bellezza della società (umana e vampira)! Leggerò (o ascolterò) anche il sequel! :D
October 18, 2021
Every once in a while a story comes along that is both so stupid, and yet, so awesome, that I can’t not read it. For me, that’s the intrigue of this book.
For some context, I’ve had this thought in the back of my head for some time now that the success of any breakout novel is usually based on how quickly it can sell a premise. So much so that it trumps execution.
Vampires are one of those things that I think will always be with us, and I think it was right after I saw Interview with the Vampire in the theaters that I was struck by the thought, for the first time, about trapping your features for all eternity just as you were in that moment.
Because at that time. I had super long hair, and in the movie that little girl tried to cut her hair and it just grew back. I went home and stared in the mirror for a long time and wondered about whether or not I’d want super long hair forever.
Since then, I’ve never quite shaken the thought. As I continued on through my twenties, I put on a few pounds, then thought if I were presented with that dark choice, if I’d be able to tell my vampire creator that I’d need a few months to get into shape. I’d stare at my naked self in the mirror and think. “Yep, won’t be turning into a sexy vamp tonight, I’ll need some time.”
As I got older and got more comfortable with a slightly pudgy, less sexy, version of myself, and also more comfortable with the whole concept of aging in general, I stopped having those thoughts.
But I’ll be damned if I didn’t see the title of this book and all those memories came flooding back. The dude wasn’t ready for his change. It was thrust on him and now he’s stuck for eternity as an overweight creature of the night.
I was sold. It’s a great premise, and one I’d probably have written something about at one time if I’d made the connection to the possibility that anyone on earth besides me had considered the idea at all. Again, it all goes back to that hypothesis I’m trying to put together about breakout hits and all that. I feel like I’m close on this to putting it all together.
That said, I was struck by how readable this was. Part of enjoyment of something is my expectations going in, I expected this to be total dogshit and was surprised that it as well done. This was well-written, funny, interesting, etc.
If I weren’t so stunned by that, I’d be better prepared to discuss how little actually happened in this novel, and how this played out as nothing more than an opening act of the real story. And its antagonists were introduced more or less at the climax of the story, and until that time it’s as just a dude coping with being a creature of the night that was too out of shape to hunt for blood.
Oh, also, the the writer has this whole sub-plot about our chubby vampire hero eating raw beef because of all the blood. Um, raw beef isn’t actually bloody. The red juicy parts aren’t blood at all. It’s myoglobin. Different thing. Vampires can’t live on it. I mean, it’s all made up, so whatever, but if we’re being consistent with our lore, then no. That was just bad.
Anyway, I enjoyed way more that I thought I would. And that means something to me. So good on the author.
For some context, I’ve had this thought in the back of my head for some time now that the success of any breakout novel is usually based on how quickly it can sell a premise. So much so that it trumps execution.
Vampires are one of those things that I think will always be with us, and I think it was right after I saw Interview with the Vampire in the theaters that I was struck by the thought, for the first time, about trapping your features for all eternity just as you were in that moment.
Because at that time. I had super long hair, and in the movie that little girl tried to cut her hair and it just grew back. I went home and stared in the mirror for a long time and wondered about whether or not I’d want super long hair forever.
Since then, I’ve never quite shaken the thought. As I continued on through my twenties, I put on a few pounds, then thought if I were presented with that dark choice, if I’d be able to tell my vampire creator that I’d need a few months to get into shape. I’d stare at my naked self in the mirror and think. “Yep, won’t be turning into a sexy vamp tonight, I’ll need some time.”
As I got older and got more comfortable with a slightly pudgy, less sexy, version of myself, and also more comfortable with the whole concept of aging in general, I stopped having those thoughts.
But I’ll be damned if I didn’t see the title of this book and all those memories came flooding back. The dude wasn’t ready for his change. It was thrust on him and now he’s stuck for eternity as an overweight creature of the night.
I was sold. It’s a great premise, and one I’d probably have written something about at one time if I’d made the connection to the possibility that anyone on earth besides me had considered the idea at all. Again, it all goes back to that hypothesis I’m trying to put together about breakout hits and all that. I feel like I’m close on this to putting it all together.
That said, I was struck by how readable this was. Part of enjoyment of something is my expectations going in, I expected this to be total dogshit and was surprised that it as well done. This was well-written, funny, interesting, etc.
If I weren’t so stunned by that, I’d be better prepared to discuss how little actually happened in this novel, and how this played out as nothing more than an opening act of the real story. And its antagonists were introduced more or less at the climax of the story, and until that time it’s as just a dude coping with being a creature of the night that was too out of shape to hunt for blood.
Oh, also, the the writer has this whole sub-plot about our chubby vampire hero eating raw beef because of all the blood. Um, raw beef isn’t actually bloody. The red juicy parts aren’t blood at all. It’s myoglobin. Different thing. Vampires can’t live on it. I mean, it’s all made up, so whatever, but if we’re being consistent with our lore, then no. That was just bad.
Anyway, I enjoyed way more that I thought I would. And that means something to me. So good on the author.
July 23, 2014
It’s kind of hard to think of a way to start this review off. After reading a book like this…it’s hard to put my thoughts down.
Let’s start with how I found it.
I was on Amazon looking up another story to get the links for my review of it when on the list I noticed this story. It was free, and after the disappointment of having read the other story I felt there was nothing to lose.
That was two days ago. From the first moment to the last, I was so wrapped up in this book I couldn’t put it down.
The story starts off with poor Reginald – the main character of this book – being tormented by his fellow co-workers. You learn that Reginald is very much overweight and has been for a very long time, leading to a lot of bullying in his life. He’s used to it, he doesn’t have the courage to fight back, and he just wishes for his money back. He doesn’t have many friends around, so when new night-shift worker Maurice offers to hang out, he jumps at the chance. Only to find out that it was the biggest mistake of his human life.
Now he’s a vampire – a fat vampire, which is very uncommon in their world. Vampires are supposed to be beautiful, fast, strong…but Reginald is none of the above. He’s slow, weak, and is way too anxious. But there is one thing that he indeed is: smart. Being a vampire doesn’t just make you great. It merely enhances what was already great about you, and with Reginald that was his mind.
So now he has to deal with the Vampire Council; who view him as a blemish on their perfect society of beautiful people. His mind is his greatest weapon, and he’s going to prove brain definitely beats brawn.
Reginald is a very relatable character. He’s been hammered down his whole life because of his weight, and he just doesn’t see an end in sight. Even after being turned into a vampire things are looking down. But despite everything he perseveres. Having grown up over-weight myself I felt this character was a great role-model, despite a few instances where let his stomach make decisions for him.
Overall, this was a wonderful book and I definitely plan to get the rest of the series as soon as possible!
Let’s start with how I found it.
I was on Amazon looking up another story to get the links for my review of it when on the list I noticed this story. It was free, and after the disappointment of having read the other story I felt there was nothing to lose.
That was two days ago. From the first moment to the last, I was so wrapped up in this book I couldn’t put it down.
The story starts off with poor Reginald – the main character of this book – being tormented by his fellow co-workers. You learn that Reginald is very much overweight and has been for a very long time, leading to a lot of bullying in his life. He’s used to it, he doesn’t have the courage to fight back, and he just wishes for his money back. He doesn’t have many friends around, so when new night-shift worker Maurice offers to hang out, he jumps at the chance. Only to find out that it was the biggest mistake of his human life.
Now he’s a vampire – a fat vampire, which is very uncommon in their world. Vampires are supposed to be beautiful, fast, strong…but Reginald is none of the above. He’s slow, weak, and is way too anxious. But there is one thing that he indeed is: smart. Being a vampire doesn’t just make you great. It merely enhances what was already great about you, and with Reginald that was his mind.
So now he has to deal with the Vampire Council; who view him as a blemish on their perfect society of beautiful people. His mind is his greatest weapon, and he’s going to prove brain definitely beats brawn.
Reginald is a very relatable character. He’s been hammered down his whole life because of his weight, and he just doesn’t see an end in sight. Even after being turned into a vampire things are looking down. But despite everything he perseveres. Having grown up over-weight myself I felt this character was a great role-model, despite a few instances where let his stomach make decisions for him.
Overall, this was a wonderful book and I definitely plan to get the rest of the series as soon as possible!
December 12, 2013
Holy. Crap. This the best book I've read in a bit, and it was FREE! Free eBooks are just the best, aren't they? Even when they're terrible, honestly, but once in a while you find a gem like this book. Reginald is an overweight office worker for a fitness equipment company, which already seems like a recipe for socially awkward disaster. Ridiculed by most of his coworkers, Reginald finds an unlikely friend in the new young Goth kid Maurice who works the overnight shift. After one unlucky night hanging with Maurice, Reginald finds himself in the position of being a newborn vampire - an untrained, uninformed, 350-pound vampire. That's not to say he's without a few as-yet undiscovered talents, however... This book is the story of Reginald's struggles to make work bearable, to fit in the world at large and the vampire community, and maybe find a bit of happiness along the way. It's very well-written; the description of the scenes on the night on which Reginald was turned were one of my favorite bits of any book I've read recently. The scenarios in which Reginald finds himself are handled realistically, humorously, and sympathetically. I especially love that Reginald is more than meets the eye, and even more than he thinks he can be. I highly recommend this book for any fan of vampire stories, humorous fiction, and supporting indie authors.
P.S., there's an excerpt for another book by this author at the end of the copy I downloaded from Amazon - it's titled Unicorn Western. Unicorn Western. Let that sink in.
P.S., there's an excerpt for another book by this author at the end of the copy I downloaded from Amazon - it's titled Unicorn Western. Unicorn Western. Let that sink in.
June 1, 2025
I got this free from Chirp on one of their Freebie Friday deals. From the description it sounded like it would be funny, and it was! Some of the scenes had me laughing out loud. I picked up books 2 and 3 to listen to later. I noticed that it was made into a TV show and I was interested in watching the show, but the reviews aren't good. In particular, some of the reviews say it doesn't resemble the book very much, so that has me not wanting to watch it now.
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January 25, 2015
Fat Vampire was a very entertaining social satire with many hilarious LOL moments! I loved the premise of a vampire who had to spend his existence in the state in which he was turned, weighing 350 lbs. and physically unfit, making it extremely difficult to catch his prey. Bonus points for having equally quirky secondary characters! Fat Vampire had a great plot and a fairly unpredictable ending. I had a great time rooting for this lovable underdog!
August 7, 2025
Loved this book so much! Reginald is absolutely adorable, and he was definitely a welcome break from the vampire drama I'm usually reading. I didn't know that I needed this book in my life. Will definitely be reading the rest of the series.
April 20, 2017
Reginald is fat, bored and being bullied at work. When he finally makes friends with the goth kid on night shift Maurice, hope springs. Until vampires attack Reginald and Maurice breaks the rules by turning him. Now Reginald has to deal with being a slow and fat vampire instead.
So when Maurice is approached on a bowling night out with Reginald by a group of vampires he knows, Reginald becomes the meal and Maurice has to turn him to stop him from dying. Reginald's hopes of being a cool vampire fade instantly when he realises that he will be forever fat and unfit, with little in the way of physical powers. It becomes a huge problem when he tries to hunt his food. Outrun by female joggers and cane wielding pensioners("What's wrong with you, you sicko?"), Reginald then fails miserably when hunting a teenage boy.
"I own the night!"
"Dude, you don't own shit. You should own a treadmill."
Having a ten year old True Blood fan called Claire feel sorry for him and Todd being there for part of the night shift is the final straw. Reginald feels as if he is the worst vampire ever, and their ruling body agrees with him, summoning him and Maurice to a 'meeting' which is really a trial. Should Reginald fail to impress, he will be given to sunlight, along with everyone he knows and cares about being killed, putting Claire and new friend Nikki in danger too. Can Reginald win over his doubters?
I really enjoyed this book and it was great to see an overweight character as the hero for a change. Reginald's life is pretty dull and being picked on my the perfect looking idiots that work with him at the fitness company is something that many people can relate to. The snide comments, the practical jokes, the sniggers. He's a likeable guy and I just wanted to see him get his own back on Todd and his cronies.
The side characters in this book were really good. Maurice dresses like a goth so he can target goth kids as easy meals, and only bites men or he'd feel as if he was cheating on his wife. Claire is a lonely child with only the dvd player for company while her mother lies in bed drunk when not working. Nikki is a wannabe vampire who tries to show Reginald that he is worth saving. This book has real emotional depth dealing with the tough parts of our characters lives, as well as plenty of great humour. The story flows nicely and I liked the whole plot, making me want to read the rest of the series.
Favourite scenes? Loved the attempts at feeding off people at the river. I enjoyed the action at the trial and I especially loved the ending!
Recommended to vampire fans, fans of underdog stories and those who want a funny paranormal read. You can get this book FREE on Smashwords and Amazon so why not give it a try?
So when Maurice is approached on a bowling night out with Reginald by a group of vampires he knows, Reginald becomes the meal and Maurice has to turn him to stop him from dying. Reginald's hopes of being a cool vampire fade instantly when he realises that he will be forever fat and unfit, with little in the way of physical powers. It becomes a huge problem when he tries to hunt his food. Outrun by female joggers and cane wielding pensioners("What's wrong with you, you sicko?"), Reginald then fails miserably when hunting a teenage boy.
"I own the night!"
"Dude, you don't own shit. You should own a treadmill."
Having a ten year old True Blood fan called Claire feel sorry for him and Todd being there for part of the night shift is the final straw. Reginald feels as if he is the worst vampire ever, and their ruling body agrees with him, summoning him and Maurice to a 'meeting' which is really a trial. Should Reginald fail to impress, he will be given to sunlight, along with everyone he knows and cares about being killed, putting Claire and new friend Nikki in danger too. Can Reginald win over his doubters?
I really enjoyed this book and it was great to see an overweight character as the hero for a change. Reginald's life is pretty dull and being picked on my the perfect looking idiots that work with him at the fitness company is something that many people can relate to. The snide comments, the practical jokes, the sniggers. He's a likeable guy and I just wanted to see him get his own back on Todd and his cronies.
The side characters in this book were really good. Maurice dresses like a goth so he can target goth kids as easy meals, and only bites men or he'd feel as if he was cheating on his wife. Claire is a lonely child with only the dvd player for company while her mother lies in bed drunk when not working. Nikki is a wannabe vampire who tries to show Reginald that he is worth saving. This book has real emotional depth dealing with the tough parts of our characters lives, as well as plenty of great humour. The story flows nicely and I liked the whole plot, making me want to read the rest of the series.
Favourite scenes? Loved the attempts at feeding off people at the river. I enjoyed the action at the trial and I especially loved the ending!
Recommended to vampire fans, fans of underdog stories and those who want a funny paranormal read. You can get this book FREE on Smashwords and Amazon so why not give it a try?
October 22, 2015
Reginald Baskin has been overweight and made fun of his whole life and to make matters worse he works in the fitness industry with mostly perfect co-workers that make fun of him. When Reginald tries to befriend one of the only other outcasts at work he gets a bit more than he bargained for. Maurice is actually a vampire and when Reginald's life is at stake Maurice turns him to save him. Unfortunately for Reginald that means he will forever be 350 pounds and out of shape.
Most of the vampire portions of this book follow the general ideas of vampires... sun will burn them, killed by a stake to the heart, feed on blood etc. The idea however of an out of shape vampire was a new concept and did lead to a few funny parts although not quite as many as I had hoped. Also, it touched on the idea of why vampires are so in shape, they train as humans before being turned thought that was a good add.
Liked Reginald overall and enjoyed the relationship development with Nikki and Claire. Also, the ending was a bit of a surprise there, wasn't expecting Reginald's plan and had a bit of an eeww gross moment which was a great add to the horror portion of the book.
Overall, quick read with a few laughs and a bit of horror mixed in.
Most of the vampire portions of this book follow the general ideas of vampires... sun will burn them, killed by a stake to the heart, feed on blood etc. The idea however of an out of shape vampire was a new concept and did lead to a few funny parts although not quite as many as I had hoped. Also, it touched on the idea of why vampires are so in shape, they train as humans before being turned thought that was a good add.
Liked Reginald overall and enjoyed the relationship development with Nikki and Claire. Also, the ending was a bit of a surprise there, wasn't expecting Reginald's plan and had a bit of an eeww gross moment which was a great add to the horror portion of the book.
Overall, quick read with a few laughs and a bit of horror mixed in.
April 6, 2015
My first vampire book - definitely won't be running to buy the Twilight but not bad. I have read this author before, Unicorn Western. Both are unique concepts, however, I feel that Fat Vampire was more successful. The storyline progressed well, he incorporated a plethora of emotions; some romance, revenge, shame, pity, etc.
I could help feel for Reginald, although sometimes I thought he allowed himself to be defeated too easily. I really liked Maurice, Nikki, and Claire. I think everything seemed to mesh well and make logical sense.
If you are interested in a quick fun read about vampires that isn't all romanticized or deathly, this is a good read because they definitely bring in the human element, which is what they were at some point in their life.
I could help feel for Reginald, although sometimes I thought he allowed himself to be defeated too easily. I really liked Maurice, Nikki, and Claire. I think everything seemed to mesh well and make logical sense.
If you are interested in a quick fun read about vampires that isn't all romanticized or deathly, this is a good read because they definitely bring in the human element, which is what they were at some point in their life.
May 3, 2014
I bought this book in July of last year. I read two pages and then jumped to another book. Not sure why now probably a over flow of vampire books.
The other day I was working my twitter account in prep for my future book (shameless plug) when I saw a tweet about the author and remembered the book I bought but did not remember finishing it so I cracked it back open and started it again.
The name says it all and I expected to laugh which I did. Feeding time does not go well. LOL! What I was not expecting was to get hooked in. The writing was good and the characters draw you in and get you interested in how things will play out. Gotta love Claire.
So now I am left with little choice but to get the Big Fat Box Set. That's right it is not a typo. Damn it!
The other day I was working my twitter account in prep for my future book (shameless plug) when I saw a tweet about the author and remembered the book I bought but did not remember finishing it so I cracked it back open and started it again.
The name says it all and I expected to laugh which I did. Feeding time does not go well. LOL! What I was not expecting was to get hooked in. The writing was good and the characters draw you in and get you interested in how things will play out. Gotta love Claire.
So now I am left with little choice but to get the Big Fat Box Set. That's right it is not a typo. Damn it!
February 9, 2023
I think it was one of the guys in Poison who said that for every REM there has to be a Van Halen, so there’s nothing wrong with being a party band. Fat Vampire is a party band of a book. The writing isn’t what I’ve been trained to think of as good, but I enjoyed the hell out of it, a fun, campy romp that served as a nice palate cleanser from the grittier stuff I often read.
May 31, 2013
It wasnt as funny as I thought it would be but I wasnt disappointed at all. I had a nice time reading it and and I consider it to be one of my kindle gems. Just to pass time pleasantly nothing more but hey one of the reasons we read books is to pass p=our time right?
November 26, 2017
funny as funny gets.
February 16, 2021
This was just delightful. I devoured this book in one sitting. I giggled and laughed and by the end I was cheering for Reggie
December 10, 2019
all reviews in one place:
night mode reading ;
skaitom nakties rezimu
About the Book: Reginald never really thought of whether he’d like to be a vampire or not. His days were spent busy trying to survive adult bullies at his job. And they say it gets better after high-school! But even with all that in mind, once given a choice to die or become a vampire, Reginald didn’t hesitate, and made a choice he found himself enjoying greatly: as a vampire he was faster, stronger, and didn’t start dripping sweat by merely moving about. Yet his maker still watched him with a degree of pity for some reason…
Humans who wish to become vampires train martial arts, work out, eat right, just to be their best self, have that muscle memory, all that. And by having to go through a test formed by a vampire council Reginald will soon discover what it’s like being fat in this world of darkness.
My Opinion: Characters felt a little too dull, more like better versions of groupies ready to propel Reginald through the plot. And the jokes were a tad on the dull side. But the plot was clever, well condensed, and had a good pace to it. All in all making it a nice, different afternoon read.
I’m definitely giving this book a very solid 4 out of 5, and I do believe I’ll take me the next book in the series too.
night mode reading ;
skaitom nakties rezimu
About the Book: Reginald never really thought of whether he’d like to be a vampire or not. His days were spent busy trying to survive adult bullies at his job. And they say it gets better after high-school! But even with all that in mind, once given a choice to die or become a vampire, Reginald didn’t hesitate, and made a choice he found himself enjoying greatly: as a vampire he was faster, stronger, and didn’t start dripping sweat by merely moving about. Yet his maker still watched him with a degree of pity for some reason…
Humans who wish to become vampires train martial arts, work out, eat right, just to be their best self, have that muscle memory, all that. And by having to go through a test formed by a vampire council Reginald will soon discover what it’s like being fat in this world of darkness.
My Opinion: Characters felt a little too dull, more like better versions of groupies ready to propel Reginald through the plot. And the jokes were a tad on the dull side. But the plot was clever, well condensed, and had a good pace to it. All in all making it a nice, different afternoon read.
I’m definitely giving this book a very solid 4 out of 5, and I do believe I’ll take me the next book in the series too.
July 17, 2018
Ever notice how all the vampires in movies seem to be the perfect size and are almost always very attractive?
Well, Reginald is pretty much the opposite of that. He's 350 pounds, mainly eats junk food and has virtually no friends. A trip to the boiling alley with Maurice, a co-worker, doesn't exactly end up on a positive note for Reginald.
He ends up a vampire. A fat, slow, non-athletic vampire who gets beaten up by people he tries to bite. He makes friends with a ten-year old girl who has a drunk mother and they watch TV at night.
Things take a turn for the very bad for him, though, since the local Vampire Council has the power to test him if he doesn't measure up to their physical requirements he will be killed.
That is unless his creator and a woman friend from work can figure out how to fool the council. The odds are heavily against him but Reginald does have one thing going for him. He's smart.
A neat book, quite funny at times.
Well, Reginald is pretty much the opposite of that. He's 350 pounds, mainly eats junk food and has virtually no friends. A trip to the boiling alley with Maurice, a co-worker, doesn't exactly end up on a positive note for Reginald.
He ends up a vampire. A fat, slow, non-athletic vampire who gets beaten up by people he tries to bite. He makes friends with a ten-year old girl who has a drunk mother and they watch TV at night.
Things take a turn for the very bad for him, though, since the local Vampire Council has the power to test him if he doesn't measure up to their physical requirements he will be killed.
That is unless his creator and a woman friend from work can figure out how to fool the council. The odds are heavily against him but Reginald does have one thing going for him. He's smart.
A neat book, quite funny at times.
September 17, 2020
Un récit de présentations où l'on fait connaissance de Reginald, Maurice et Nikky ainsi que le monde dans lequel ils évoluent avec ses règles et ses inévitables détestables idiots (tant humains que vampires...)
Il y a une impression de "normalité" tout au long du récit (les 3 protagonistes travaillent ensemble dans la même boîte, les vampires semblent presque acceptés et peu craints (un effet films et jeux de rôle ???) contrairement aux hors normes (type trop gros, trop grand etc) une illusion que vient fracasser une des dernières scènes assez gore
Bien-entendu, s'agissant d'une introduction, il va falloir lire le T2 pour savoir si l'auteur saura inventer une histoire où Réginald et Cie sauront tirer leur épingle du jeu de pouvoirs sans pour autant perdre leurs sympathiques personnalités
A suivre donc
Il y a une impression de "normalité" tout au long du récit (les 3 protagonistes travaillent ensemble dans la même boîte, les vampires semblent presque acceptés et peu craints (un effet films et jeux de rôle ???) contrairement aux hors normes (type trop gros, trop grand etc) une illusion que vient fracasser une des dernières scènes assez gore
Bien-entendu, s'agissant d'une introduction, il va falloir lire le T2 pour savoir si l'auteur saura inventer une histoire où Réginald et Cie sauront tirer leur épingle du jeu de pouvoirs sans pour autant perdre leurs sympathiques personnalités
A suivre donc
July 27, 2021
It took awhile to get back into this one - it started out funny and then it got funnier... and then it sort of didn't. Something happened with the last quarter of the book - the writing became very wooden, as if the author had a 'let's get this over with' moment. And that's no easy feat, considering the scope of DRAMA that happens. Not quite sure how he managed it. It just became very instructive (how they got to where they got)... and then kinda petered out.
Giving it 3 stars because the first part of the novel really is funny. And the idea of bureaucratic vampire is a trope that always giggles me. Because, really? The idea of apex predators stalking humanity in contemporary times, without folks cluing in (and retaliating, en masse) is unlikely. Even apex predators need to follow rules if they want to survive. This novel just takes it to 11, which is hysterical.
Giving it 3 stars because the first part of the novel really is funny. And the idea of bureaucratic vampire is a trope that always giggles me. Because, really? The idea of apex predators stalking humanity in contemporary times, without folks cluing in (and retaliating, en masse) is unlikely. Even apex predators need to follow rules if they want to survive. This novel just takes it to 11, which is hysterical.
December 23, 2023
The author has a lot of talent with respect to ruining comedic scenes. Reginald is attempting his first hunt, chasing a jogging woman in a park. With the title of the story, you can probably guess what his success rate will be. Should I feel empathy for him? Then this happens:
Reginald decided that what he was going to do to her would be far better than being raped or killed, considering he would make her forget all about it after it was over, and then send her on her way. It was the lesser of evils. He’d be doing her a favor, really.
Ah, all the best protagonists do women a favour by not raping them. Good call. The author portrays women pretty poorly. Either they're attractive or they have a lazy eye. The author introduces a young 10 year old girl, and SURELY the author wouldn't even consider sexualizing a child....
He asked himself what a successful pedophile would say at this point and then yelled, “Your dad sent me to give you a ride home!
The protagonist isn't very likable. Other reviewers mentioned a lot of the fat shaming and low self esteem in every chapter. The ending was quick and not really to my taste. It was a bit too close to Deus Ex Machina
There is a hulu tv series, and I'll at least give it a chance to see if I like it.
Reginald decided that what he was going to do to her would be far better than being raped or killed, considering he would make her forget all about it after it was over, and then send her on her way. It was the lesser of evils. He’d be doing her a favor, really.
Ah, all the best protagonists do women a favour by not raping them. Good call. The author portrays women pretty poorly. Either they're attractive or they have a lazy eye. The author introduces a young 10 year old girl, and SURELY the author wouldn't even consider sexualizing a child....
He asked himself what a successful pedophile would say at this point and then yelled, “Your dad sent me to give you a ride home!
The protagonist isn't very likable. Other reviewers mentioned a lot of the fat shaming and low self esteem in every chapter. The ending was quick and not really to my taste. It was a bit too close to Deus Ex Machina
There is a hulu tv series, and I'll at least give it a chance to see if I like it.
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