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Ever been lost in a shopping mall?
Steve Clarke and his spendthrift wife, Tanya, just wanted to buy one simple Christmas gift. But the crowds on Black Friday swarm thicker than cockroaches. Worse, the mall reconfigures itself around them. The stores move and change names. Hallways appear and disappear. The exit is impossible to find. When they ask for help, the crowd treats them like lepers.
Worst of all, Tanya is an utter bitch.
It’s every man’s worst nightmare: trapped in an endless shopping mall with a shrew of a wife. Steve wonders what will give out first, their lives or their marriage.
Steve Clarke and his spendthrift wife, Tanya, just wanted to buy one simple Christmas gift. But the crowds on Black Friday swarm thicker than cockroaches. Worse, the mall reconfigures itself around them. The stores move and change names. Hallways appear and disappear. The exit is impossible to find. When they ask for help, the crowd treats them like lepers.
Worst of all, Tanya is an utter bitch.
It’s every man’s worst nightmare: trapped in an endless shopping mall with a shrew of a wife. Steve wonders what will give out first, their lives or their marriage.
164 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2012
13 people want to read
About the author
Matthew Warner
63 books32 followersWhen critic Feo Amante gave Matthew Warner’s first novel, The Organ Donor (2003), a five-star review and labeled it a “straight-on modern classic of horror,” the praise went straight to Warner’s head. He wrote several more things, such as the novel Eyes Everywhere (2006), which Publishers Weekly described as “disturbing … compelling and insightful,” and a radio play and stage play premiered by theaters in central Virginia.
His opinion column, “Author’s Notes,” ran for five years on the Horror World website and consisted of a blend of commentary, autobiography, and tutorials about the writing craft. Guide Dog Books collected a portion of those columns into its debut non-fiction title, Horror Isn’t a 4-Letter Word: Essays on Writing & Appreciating the Genre (2008).
Blood Born (2011), is an apocalyptic monster novel set in the Washington, DC, area where he grew up. His first urban fantasy novel, The Seventh Equinox (2013), is set in a fictitious city inspired by his current home of Staunton, Virginia. Dominoes in Time (2015) collects sixteen years of horror and science fiction stories.
Other works include screenplays for Darkstone Entertainment and the novelization of their film Plan 9 (2016). His most recent novel, Empire of the Goddess (2018), depicts a nightmare version of modern America. Yes, one even worse than the actual America.
Warner lives with his wife, the artist Deena Warner, and sons, Owen and Thomas. In 2007, they opened a print and website design business, Deena Warner Design, serving the publishing industry. He’s a member of the Horror Writers Association and an enthusiastic practitioner of Brazilian jiu-jitsu.
“One of the bright stars of today’s constellation of speculative dreamers.” — Keith Minnion
His opinion column, “Author’s Notes,” ran for five years on the Horror World website and consisted of a blend of commentary, autobiography, and tutorials about the writing craft. Guide Dog Books collected a portion of those columns into its debut non-fiction title, Horror Isn’t a 4-Letter Word: Essays on Writing & Appreciating the Genre (2008).
Blood Born (2011), is an apocalyptic monster novel set in the Washington, DC, area where he grew up. His first urban fantasy novel, The Seventh Equinox (2013), is set in a fictitious city inspired by his current home of Staunton, Virginia. Dominoes in Time (2015) collects sixteen years of horror and science fiction stories.
Other works include screenplays for Darkstone Entertainment and the novelization of their film Plan 9 (2016). His most recent novel, Empire of the Goddess (2018), depicts a nightmare version of modern America. Yes, one even worse than the actual America.
Warner lives with his wife, the artist Deena Warner, and sons, Owen and Thomas. In 2007, they opened a print and website design business, Deena Warner Design, serving the publishing industry. He’s a member of the Horror Writers Association and an enthusiastic practitioner of Brazilian jiu-jitsu.
“One of the bright stars of today’s constellation of speculative dreamers.” — Keith Minnion
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
January 6, 2014
Steve and Tanya go to the mall to get a Christmas gift. Then when they decide to leave they can't seem to find a exit. Then people start acting strange, stores and hallways keep changing. Then they hook up with another couple and try to figure a way out. I did enjoy the story over all, but at times the story seemed to drag. That's why I gave it 3 1/2 stars.
July 4, 2019
As much as I liked Warner's The Organ Donor, I liked this book even more. I think he really tapped into the modern frenzy, social retardation and frustration of urban mall environments and gigantic parking lots. You may have heard other books described as "a real page turner" and this one really lives up to that description. If you have ever had a weird moment where you could not find where you parked your car, and it really, really bothered you because you just wanted to get home and relax, Matthew Warner has made this little nightmare tale just for you.
December 3, 2012
*mild spoilers*
This was an interesting take. It tells the story of a couple who are going to a shopping mall and Steve, the protagonist, hates shopping, and in fact hates his wife at this point as both have been fighting and their marriage is on the rocks. What happens though is a Twilight Zone type of a story where the mall has no exits and they can't get out, and they soon find they are trapped in some fantastical mall that is a world unto itself where they can’t get out.
I liked the concept, it was cool, and I enjoyed how it ended, but the middle got a little tiring for me, as there's only so much you can do inside a mall without it becoming repetitive. I liked the story and was glad to have read it, but it wasn't a great story by any stretch of the imagination. Judge for yourself.
This was an interesting take. It tells the story of a couple who are going to a shopping mall and Steve, the protagonist, hates shopping, and in fact hates his wife at this point as both have been fighting and their marriage is on the rocks. What happens though is a Twilight Zone type of a story where the mall has no exits and they can't get out, and they soon find they are trapped in some fantastical mall that is a world unto itself where they can’t get out.
I liked the concept, it was cool, and I enjoyed how it ended, but the middle got a little tiring for me, as there's only so much you can do inside a mall without it becoming repetitive. I liked the story and was glad to have read it, but it wasn't a great story by any stretch of the imagination. Judge for yourself.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews