What do you think?
Rate this book
How to be a Couple & Still be Free
For almost a decade, How to be a Couple and Still Be Free has been the established handbook on relationships between equals. Time tested COMMITTED COUPLES who've decided to hang in and "work it out."
DIVORCED PEOPLE who want to do it better this time.
GAY COUPLES who seek a model for being a couple.
YOUNG PEOPLE whose parents showed them how not to be a couple.
SINGLE PEOPLE seeking loving intimacy as equals. This edition is revised and updated and features a new chapter on Sexual Freedom and Health which deals with the AIDS issue.
DIVORCED PEOPLE who want to do it better this time.
GAY COUPLES who seek a model for being a couple.
YOUNG PEOPLE whose parents showed them how not to be a couple.
SINGLE PEOPLE seeking loving intimacy as equals. This edition is revised and updated and features a new chapter on Sexual Freedom and Health which deals with the AIDS issue.
- GenresRelationships
Paperback
First published September 1, 1983
9 people are currently reading
72 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
June 26, 2023
Įdomi, praktiška, naudinga. Reikia laiko įvaldymui metodo, bet net atskiri pratimai labai naudingi. Net suvokimas, kad tai įmanoma padeda sustabdyti beprasmę tarpusavio kovą ir pradėti ieškoti tikrų bendrų sprendimų.
January 26, 2017
I was delighted to come across this book in our local library and find it has a similar view to ours, that relationships without conflict are possible. Chapter 1 starts out: “In 15 years of working with couples in private therapy and workshops, we have found that no matter how unsolvable a problem seems to the couple presenting it, when we help them apply Cooperative Problem Solving, a solution can always be found.”
How could I not be entranced?
They decry competition: “The belief that some has to ‘win’ in a relationship encourages us to compete rather than to cooperate,” and offer a detailed procedure: “The unique aspect of Cooperative Problem Solving is that both parties attempting to resolve a conflict or make a decision can negotiate so that both get what they want.” They have, like many therapy books, formalized their approach and include many charts, guidelines and exercises. The Negotiation Tree is a multi-page flowchart guiding you through the steps. You might feel this structured approach to be a useful map or a limiting straitjacket. The Negotiation Tree has five steps:
* Define and Communicate the Problem
* Agree to Negotiate
* Set the Stage
* State Your Wants
* Explore Your Options and Decide
I liked this book so much, I ordered a second-hand copy from Amazon, and what arrived was the 1987 2nd edition, with the authors’ names reversed. This is a very different book, and although the five steps are identical to the 3rd edition, the guidelines and exercises are not included. It still uses examples of couples working through problems to illustrate its points, and goes into less detail, which in a way makes it clearer.
Either of these editions will be a rewarding read, and they differ so much that you could start with the 2nd edition and then enjoy the more detailed breakdown in the 3rd edition. They are both out of print, but I understand that a new edition is planned for Valentine’s day.
How could I not be entranced?
They decry competition: “The belief that some has to ‘win’ in a relationship encourages us to compete rather than to cooperate,” and offer a detailed procedure: “The unique aspect of Cooperative Problem Solving is that both parties attempting to resolve a conflict or make a decision can negotiate so that both get what they want.” They have, like many therapy books, formalized their approach and include many charts, guidelines and exercises. The Negotiation Tree is a multi-page flowchart guiding you through the steps. You might feel this structured approach to be a useful map or a limiting straitjacket. The Negotiation Tree has five steps:
* Define and Communicate the Problem
* Agree to Negotiate
* Set the Stage
* State Your Wants
* Explore Your Options and Decide
I liked this book so much, I ordered a second-hand copy from Amazon, and what arrived was the 1987 2nd edition, with the authors’ names reversed. This is a very different book, and although the five steps are identical to the 3rd edition, the guidelines and exercises are not included. It still uses examples of couples working through problems to illustrate its points, and goes into less detail, which in a way makes it clearer.
Either of these editions will be a rewarding read, and they differ so much that you could start with the 2nd edition and then enjoy the more detailed breakdown in the 3rd edition. They are both out of print, but I understand that a new edition is planned for Valentine’s day.
September 11, 2011
So, her relationship didn't last... and the relationship I had while reading her books didn't last... Does that mean that her material just didn't work for us, any of us... or...?
September 11, 2011
So, her relationship didn't last... and the relationship I had while reading her books didn't last... Does that mean that her material just didn't work for us, any of us... or... what?
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews