becoming us - loving, learning and growing together, the essential relationship guide for parents

by Elly Taylor

92 per cent of couples report more conflicts with their partner after the birth of a child. Becoming Us draws on over fifty years of research and the experience of thousands of parents to guide a couple through relationship changes after children - and specifically, how becoming a parent can transform your relationship in positive ways.

Part One reveals the key opportunity of growth and connection between parents. Part Two tackles the most common problem areas, providing practical and insightful approaches to resolving tricky issues.

This is a refreshingly optimistic yet deeply practical book that addresses the challenges couples face but focuses on what a relationship can gain once children arrive.

It is also a useful resource for the professionals, therapists, doulas, midwives, obstetricians, paediatriticians, psychologists etc. who work with young families

349 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2011

About the author

Elly Taylor is an Australian perinatal relationship expert and founder of Becoming Us.

Elly's passion is preparing couples for the joyful but often challenging transitions of parenthood. She is an advocate for including fathers and partners in all aspects of pregnancy, birth and early parenthood to support whole family bonding.

Elly lives in a Sydney beach house with her firefighter husband, their three children and a bunch of pets. Becoming Us is her first book. Her second is waiting for her.

Reviews

[Kikeena · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a grandmother and a counselor I look back on what children need the most, and those kids I've known in the past who have succeeded in life, and those who have struggled. I have noticed that one key ingredient is a happy harmonious relationship between the parents. Research has confirmed this over and over, that the most important thing you can do for your child is to get on happily with the other parent. This is one of the few books that focuses on this crucial area, and I highly recommend it. Knowing what to expect goes a long way to keeping relationships happy. I'm buying it for each of my children for Christmas.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recently separated, having little contact with my beloved daughters and lots of opportunity to ruminate on the essential ingredients to happy relationships I read Elly Taylor’s Becoming Us.
Although I could not have been further from the book’s target audience (Elly? New parents), I was struck by how important it would have been to know Elly’s message before my marriage turned sour.

I found myself asking why this issue had not been covered in the many baby books I had read? Why is it still not on every couples agenda to inform themselves about this aspect of their child’s life? I see now that I was largely unaware and hugely unprepared for the issues which contributed to the demise of my marriage and the family which comprised the security of my daughters. If only this book had been part of my reading list when I was pregnant with my beautiful girls!

I urge every mother to read this book and make your child’s family better.

[Jill Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Becoming Us is about how becoming parents affects relationships, and it’s about about understanding the changes you feel in yourself, in your partner and in your relationship. I think it’s one of the best relationship books I’ve ever read. It made me feel calmer about my relationship, like the changes we’ve gone through since having a baby together weren’t something “wrong”; they’re part of a bigger pattern of how women and men approach parenting. It made me feel gentler and more accepting of myself and my husband. It made it easier not to take things personally that aren’t done the way I would do them. It helped me see what we both bring to parenting, and it helped me feel how much our son needs both of our approaches.

[Melanie Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bravo Elly Taylor! As a professional in the birthing industry I am able to see and appreciate the true value of this book 'Becoming Us'. It is a pleasure to recommend this fabulous resource in my clinic when consulting with pregnant couples and parents of young children. I was a mother of 2 before I read this book, and I only wish I had have read it early. It is easy to read, well reaserched, and written with kindness. Many couples have noted how relatable it is to their situation and experiences, which I believe is the key to the books success. Plenty of light-bulb moments to be had and an asset to anyone's book collection.

[Nicole Ronay sundin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book truly is an essential read for couples about to embark upon parenthood. I wish it had been published in time for me to read it before we had our first bub.


While our focus is often on the baby, a strong and healthy relationship is crucial, and yet often not considered, or discussed. This book provides couples with an opportunity to understand some of the pressures involved with a young family, and to take time to reconnect.

Pratical, and easy to read, this book is an essential for your bookshelf - electronic or otherwise!